1
00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:03,800
kids,in the spring of 2008 something kind of strange 

2
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:05,900
have been happening to your uncle Barney.

3
00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:07,000
he's been doing great with a woman.

4
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,400
So I threw the pressure air oxygen into its mouth.

5
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:12,100
I shoot the tank, boo, nomore shark.

6
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,300
Mr. Hall and I swam back to shore.

7
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,000
Hey,let me serve you a drink.

8
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,900
He's only been gone a few moments

9
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,200
but when he return...

10
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:21,600
so where were we?

11
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:23,900
he gets slap!

12
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:25,200
-It kept happening...     -jerk!

13
00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:31,400
until finally Lily was approached by a  mysterious woman 

14
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,400
who wants her stay away from Barney...

15
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:35,800
so when it happened once more...

16
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,000
again?really? wait

17
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:41,900
Barney knew who to look for

18
00:01:01,460 --> 00:01:02,930
Hey, excuse me.

19
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,800
Did I sleep with you and then totally screw you over?

20
00:01:04,860 --> 00:01:06,430
No.

21
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,760
What are you doing on Friday?

22
00:01:12,130 --> 00:01:13,160
Hey!

23
00:01:13,230 --> 00:01:14,800
Uh... no.

24
00:01:14,860 --> 00:01:16,060
Stop!

25
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,960
Amy?

26
00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:22,100
- Abby. -Riiiggghhhttt!!!

27
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:33,700
<i>Kids, sometimes you can do something right</i>

30
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:43,660
<i>a thousand times in a row...</i>

31
00:01:43,730 --> 00:01:45,800
A rainbow!

32
00:01:45,860 --> 00:01:48,500
That's beautiful!

33
00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,260
What a beautiful rainbow!

34
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,430
Another rainbow?

35
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,630
It's beautiful!

36
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:59,200
<i>But then, that</i> <i>thousand-and-first time...</i>

37
00:01:59,260 --> 00:02:00,900
You're kidding me.

38
00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,300
Seriously, aren't you sick of these things?

39
00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:08,260
Hey, how was your day?

40
00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:11,460
Today, I yelled at a little girl for painting a rainbow.

41
00:02:11,530 --> 00:02:12,700
A rainbow?

42
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:14,260
Sounds like that bitch had it coming.

43
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:21,160
So, uh, I just met with the contractor.

44
00:02:21,230 --> 00:02:22,500
and it turns out,

45
00:02:22,560 --> 00:02:24,160
that fixing the floors of the new apartment

46
00:02:24,230 --> 00:02:26,260
is going to cost a lot more than the estimate.

47
00:02:26,330 --> 00:02:28,530
But we can barely afford that to begin with.

48
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,730
I hate to say this,

49
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,360
but I think you're going to have to sell your stuff.

50
00:02:33,430 --> 00:02:34,730
Whoa! Marshall,

51
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,830
that's just a game we play in the bedroom.

52
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,830
I mean your clothes.

53
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,760
All those designer pieces and everything.

54
00:02:40,830 --> 00:02:41,830
What?

55
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,200
Why just my clothes?

56
00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:44,600
We can sell my stuff, too,

57
00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:45,760
but I got to tell you,

58
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,060
I think your Marc Jacobs cocktail dress

59
00:02:47,130 --> 00:02:48,500
is going to go for a lot more

60
00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,460
than my "Split Happens" bowling shirt.

61
00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:52,500
-Dude. -I'm not selling that.

62
00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:55,700
I've already made the Website.

63
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:57,160
You made a Website?

64
00:02:57,230 --> 00:02:58,830
Yeah, it's called

65
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:02,930
"Lily-and-Marshall-sell- their-stuff-dot-com."

66
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:06,500
No, you know what would be a better name for the site?

67
00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:10,660
Guy-forces-his-wife- to-dress-in-a-garbage-bag-

68
00:03:10,730 --> 00:03:14,400
for-the-next- three-years-dot-com.

69
00:03:15,930 --> 00:03:17,560
That's real.

70
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:18,900
I'm worried.

71
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:21,560
That woman is actually wearing a-a garbage bag.

72
00:03:21,630 --> 00:03:22,900
Hmm, but, girlfriend,

73
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:25,730
you cannot pull off a tall kitchen.

74
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,900
Why are you trying to ruin my life?

75
00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:31,400
Well, you slept with me and then you never called me again.

76
00:03:31,460 --> 00:03:32,930
And?

77
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:33,960
That's it.

78
00:03:34,030 --> 00:03:35,460
That's it?

79
00:03:35,530 --> 00:03:36,500
As far as I'm concerned,

80
00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,800
if I leave you safe on dry land

81
00:03:37,860 --> 00:03:39,030
with adequate transportation home,

82
00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:40,260
you've got nothing to complain about.

83
00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:41,930
Well, it hurt, okay?

84
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,560
And then Ted, the love of my life,

85
00:03:43,630 --> 00:03:45,260
started dating my boss instead of me.

86
00:03:45,330 --> 00:03:46,700
Do you know how that feels?

87
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,230
Oh, boo-hoo, poor little Ashley.

88
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:52,300
Abby! Abby.

89
00:03:52,360 --> 00:03:53,330
A few weeks ago,

90
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,630
Ted dumped me as his wingman.

91
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,260
You had a crush on him for a couple weeks?

92
00:03:57,330 --> 00:04:00,100
I was Ted's best friend for seven years.

93
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:01,730
Ted said Marshall was his best friend.

94
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:03,160
Seven years!

95
00:04:03,230 --> 00:04:04,800
Sorry.

96
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:05,960
Ted.

97
00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:07,130
What an idiot.

98
00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,130
With his stupid

99
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,930
"meaningful relationship" with Stella.

100
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:12,930
Ted.

101
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,230
Ted.

102
00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:15,260
I hate Ted.

103
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:16,400
I hate Ted more.

104
00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:18,260
Are you as turned on as I am?

105
00:04:18,330 --> 00:04:20,500
Probably not quite as much.

106
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,900
I'm sorry I yelled out "Ted."

107
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,530
I'm sorry I yelled out "Abby."

108
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,930
I <i>am</i> Abby.

109
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,930
Oh, cool.

110
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,800
This is insane.

111
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:35,760
Has Lily even worn half this stuff?

112
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:38,660
Oh, yeah, like there's nothing in your closet you've never worn?

113
00:04:38,730 --> 00:04:40,500
As a matter of fact, no, there isn't.

114
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,100
Whatever, red cowboy boots. 

115
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:44,530
those are nice boots.

116
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:45,960
I totally pull those off.

117
00:04:46,030 --> 00:04:47,600
Hey, Lil,

118
00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:50,800
if I were to say "Ted could never pull them off,"

119
00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:53,260
-What would I be talking about? -His red cowboy boots.

120
00:04:53,330 --> 00:04:54,660
I totally pull them off!

121
00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:56,300
It's a classic Western look.

122
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,160
Oh, okay, uh, today's category:

123
00:04:59,230 --> 00:05:02,660
classic Westerns that involve red cowboy boots.

124
00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:03,930
Ooh, ooh! Robin.

125
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,560
"The Good, the Bad, and the Fabulous."

126
00:05:07,530 --> 00:05:10,160
"The Magnificent Kevin."

127
00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:12,860
"No Country for Straight Men."

128
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:17,730
I don't want to sell my clothes!

129
00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:18,900
Oh, I know, sweetie.

130
00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:19,960
Come here.

131
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,160
Is this a hundred percent silk?

132
00:05:23,230 --> 00:05:26,330
Lily,listen, we really need the money.

133
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,660
I have some leads on a job, but until then,

134
00:05:28,730 --> 00:05:31,200
I just... I don't know what else we can do.

135
00:05:32,230 --> 00:05:34,560
I'll sell my paintings!

136
00:05:34,630 --> 00:05:36,000
What?

137
00:05:36,060 --> 00:05:38,030
Yeah, I'll sell my paintings.

138
00:05:38,100 --> 00:05:40,600
Good oil paintings go for like, $500.

139
00:05:40,660 --> 00:05:41,660
Yeah.

140
00:05:41,730 --> 00:05:42,830
Totally.

141
00:05:42,900 --> 00:05:44,230
But...

142
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:46,060
<i>Kids, sometimes you can</i>  <i>do something right</i>

143
00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:47,860
<i>a thousand times in a row...</i>

144
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,130
I love it.

145
00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,800
It's a masterpiece.

146
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,760
That's it. We're selling the TV.

147
00:05:54,830 --> 00:05:58,400
I just want to come home and stare at this all day. Aw.

148
00:05:58,460 --> 00:06:00,500
Somebody call the cops!

149
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,300
My wife stole an awesome painting from the museum!

150
00:06:06,030 --> 00:06:08,460
<i>But then, that</i> <i>thousand-and-first time...</i>

151
00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,800
...that kind of money only goes for real paintings.

152
00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:12,300
Uh-oh.

153
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:14,560
What does that mean?

154
00:06:14,630 --> 00:06:17,060
Look, it just, it just means

155
00:06:17,130 --> 00:06:19,060
that-that we need money right now

156
00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:21,230
and I'm not sure that selling your paintings

157
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,700
is-is how we're going to get it.

158
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,560
You don't believe in me.

159
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,300
No, wait, wait!

160
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:28,400
Of c...

161
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:29,930
of course I believe in you!

162
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,500
Marshall, I am proud of my work as an artist.

163
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,200
My paintings are good.

164
00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:36,060
I bet Robin would buy one.

165
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,300
What now?

166
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:39,960
I love your painting,

167
00:06:40,030 --> 00:06:42,100
I just... I'm trying to be realistic.

168
00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:44,500
Well, how much money do we need

169
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,160
for the contractor to finish the job?

170
00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:47,630
About 1,500 bucks.

171
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:49,260
Okay.

172
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:52,560
So, if I can sell three of my paintings at 500 bucks a pop,

173
00:06:52,630 --> 00:06:54,630
then I get to keep all my clothes.

174
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:55,800
Babe,

175
00:06:55,860 --> 00:06:57,260
we need money fast.

176
00:06:57,330 --> 00:06:58,600
Well, give me a week.

177
00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,230
Okay, a-a week.

178
00:07:02,300 --> 00:07:03,600
-Fine. -Fine.

179
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:05,100
Fine.

180
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,100
Pulling.

181
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,460
Them.

182
00:07:19,530 --> 00:07:21,530
Off.

183
00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:28,760
lily's first move on a great art challenge of 2008

184
00:07:28,830 --> 00:07:30,800
 <i>was to display one</i>  <i>of her favorite paintings</i>

185
00:07:30,860 --> 00:07:32,100
 <i>at her friend's gallery.</i>

186
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,130
 <i>The night didn't go so well.</i>

187
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:41,430
 <i>But then at the last minute...</i>

188
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,130
I love it.

189
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,230
You do?

190
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:45,500
Yeah, your top. It's gorgeous.

191
00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:46,960
Is that 100% silk?

192
00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:49,630
It's not for sale! My clothes are not for sale!

193
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:51,030
 <i>So the next day,</i>

194
00:07:51,100 --> 00:07:52,900
 <i>Lily took her painting</i>  <i>to a coffee house</i>

195
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,300
 <i>that displayed local artists.</i>

196
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,460
We've been sitting here for hours

197
00:07:56,530 --> 00:07:58,960
and nobody's even glanced at my painting.

198
00:07:59,030 --> 00:07:59,960
Come on.

199
00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:01,300
Let's start talking it up.

200
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:02,800
Wow!

201
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:05,460
I really like that painting!

202
00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:07,130
It's neat!

203
00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:09,830
The-the colors are neat.

204
00:08:09,900 --> 00:08:11,200
The-the shapes are neat.

205
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:13,200
It's really just...

206
00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:14,860
neat.

207
00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:17,100
What?

208
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,600
Observe.

209
00:08:19,660 --> 00:08:23,260
I think there's a dynamic quality to the brushwork

210
00:08:23,330 --> 00:08:25,630
that, combined with the fluid composition,

211
00:08:25,700 --> 00:08:28,830
creates an almost Kandinsky-like emotional resonance.

212
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:32,500
Yes, and you can still enjoy it

213
00:08:32,560 --> 00:08:34,860
even if you're not a pretentious douche.

214
00:08:34,930 --> 00:08:38,500
Can you clarify something for me about your critique?

215
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:41,900
Are the colors "neat" or are they more "neato burrito?"

216
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,160
Uh, then again, red cowboy boots.

217
00:08:46,230 --> 00:08:47,160
I pull these off!

218
00:08:48,460 --> 00:08:50,600
I pull these off!

219
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,930
You know what I hate most about Ted?

220
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,430
What?

221
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,400
His stupid hair.

222
00:08:56,460 --> 00:08:59,100
His stupid, lame awesome hair.

223
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,130
It's so stupid and awesome.

224
00:09:03,830 --> 00:09:05,800
-You know what I hate most about Ted? -What?

225
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:07,230
How he's always like,

226
00:09:07,300 --> 00:09:10,100
"Oh, I want to fall in love and have a relationship.

227
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,230
I care about the people I have sex with."

228
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:13,730
He's so lame.

229
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,600
He's so lame and awesome.

230
00:09:16,630 --> 00:09:18,900
You know what he needs?

231
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:21,660
He needs to see just how horrible he is

232
00:09:21,730 --> 00:09:23,100
when he's in a relationship.

233
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:26,900
Yeah, and I need to show Ted that I'm over him.

234
00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,100
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

235
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,100
I think so.

236
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,330
You're thinking of having sex with Ted?

237
00:09:35,330 --> 00:09:38,430
 <i>After four days without</i>  <i>selling a single painting,</i>

238
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,860
 <i>Lily was getting desperate.</i>

239
00:09:39,930 --> 00:09:41,330
Painting for sale!

240
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:43,330
$500!

241
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,330
Lifelong dream hanging in the balance!

242
00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:50,230
It's like they don't even see us.

243
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:52,300
Yeah, we're dirt to them.

244
00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:53,900
What do you need money for?

245
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,230
Oh, I'm trying to fix the hardwood floors

246
00:09:56,300 --> 00:09:57,500
in my new apartment.

247
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:58,660
You?

248
00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:00,160
Heroin.

249
00:10:02,630 --> 00:10:04,600
Do you like heroin?

250
00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:05,660
Love it.

251
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:07,300
In fact, if you sell that,

252
00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,300
I'm going to take your money and go buy some more heroin.

253
00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:13,130
Thanks for your honesty, Crazy Sock Guy.

254
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,360
Oh, I'm never gonna sell this...

255
00:10:17,430 --> 00:10:18,700
It's not very good.

256
00:10:20,330 --> 00:10:22,600
 <i>And just as she was about</i>  <i>to lose all hope,</i>

257
00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:25,300
 <i>something amazing happened.</i>

258
00:10:25,360 --> 00:10:27,330
Oh, my God!

259
00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:29,660
500 bucks!

260
00:10:29,730 --> 00:10:31,800
Who's a real painter now, Marshall?

261
00:10:31,860 --> 00:10:33,860
Honey, I never said you weren't a real painter.

262
00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:35,200
Oh, I know, sweetie.

263
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:38,100
And since I'm a professional artist now,

264
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,100
I'm going to sketch you an Aldrin original,

265
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,430
you know, to say thanks

266
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,430
for being such a supportive husband.

267
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:46,430
I'm thinking about calling it...

268
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,200
"Suck It!"

269
00:10:48,260 --> 00:10:49,830
Lily, come on.

270
00:10:49,900 --> 00:10:51,000
I'm proud of you.

271
00:10:51,060 --> 00:10:52,130
Who-who bought it?

272
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:53,560
Well, that's the best part.

273
00:10:53,630 --> 00:10:55,530
A gay couple without kids.

274
00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:57,130
A G-CWOK!

275
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,130
You bagged a G-CWOK?!

276
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,560
Yeah, that's right.

277
00:11:00,630 --> 00:11:03,060
They are the heart and soul of the art-buying community.

278
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,330
You know what you should do?

279
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,530
You should call up the G-CWOKs

280
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:06,830
and offer them a free painting

281
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,200
if they throw a private art party

282
00:11:08,260 --> 00:11:09,530
for all their G-CWOK friends.

283
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,530
That's an amazing idea.

284
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,430
I'm going to go call them.

285
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:15,830
I can probably sell two more paintings with time to spare.

286
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,230
Oh, wait, Marshall.

287
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:18,860
There was something I had to tell you.

288
00:11:18,930 --> 00:11:20,430
What was it?

289
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,630
Oh, that's right.

290
00:11:21,700 --> 00:11:23,060
Suck it.

291
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:34,500
Ted, fancy bumping into you here.

292
00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:37,030
Have you guys met my girlfriend Abby?

293
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:38,160
Uh, yeah.

294
00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:39,460
Hi, Abby. Hello,

295
00:11:39,530 --> 00:11:40,960
Abby. So, uh,

296
00:11:41,030 --> 00:11:42,560
s-so you guys are dating now?

297
00:11:42,630 --> 00:11:43,960
That's right.

298
00:11:44,030 --> 00:11:46,360
I am done with this whole being awesome thing.

299
00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:47,730
Now I'm all about farmers' markets

300
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:51,230
and day hikes in matching khaki cargo shorts.

301
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:52,300
Isn't that right, sweetie?

302
00:11:52,360 --> 00:11:53,330
That's right.

303
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,600
And girlfriends are lame.

304
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:56,060
Unless they're me.

305
00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:57,760
I miss you, Ted.

306
00:11:57,830 --> 00:11:59,400
Abby and I

307
00:11:59,460 --> 00:12:01,100
are in love.

308
00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,160
Not hot passionate love.

309
00:12:03,230 --> 00:12:04,600
Couple love.

310
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:07,030
You know, movie night with my girlfriend,

311
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:08,660
then waiting for her to go to bed

312
00:12:08,730 --> 00:12:11,760
so I can steal one pitiful moment of hollow ecstasy

313
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:14,460
by the cold, blue light of my computer monitor.

314
00:12:15,630 --> 00:12:17,900
We're showing Ted how lame he is.

315
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,460
You don't have to say it, though.

316
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:23,300
Uh, okay, Barney, you can stop.

317
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:24,300
Stop what, Ted?

318
00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,460
Stop being in love?

319
00:12:25,530 --> 00:12:26,930
Next he'll ask us to stop breathing.

320
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:30,530
We can't stop breathing, Ted.

321
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:32,300
Your hair looks amazing.

322
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,900
Um, Barney, I, I see what you're doing.

323
00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,100
Please stop.

324
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:38,300
Not before I share with you

325
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:41,330
what being in a relationship leads to, Ted.

326
00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:42,330
Abby,

327
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,430
Pookie Bear...

328
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:48,430
I am so pathetically desperate for you that...

329
00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:51,500
aw, heck, I'll just say it.

330
00:12:53,660 --> 00:12:55,600
Would you marry me?

331
00:12:55,660 --> 00:12:57,660
Wait, really?

332
00:12:57,730 --> 00:13:00,900
I would never joke about true love.

333
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:02,930
Yes, I'll marry you.

334
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,100
Okay.

335
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,130
Thank you, thank you.

336
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,800
I have to call my mom.

337
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:13,100
That's you.

338
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:16,660
Uh, yeah, I don't think Abby knows you're kidding.

339
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:18,460
Uh, yes, she does.

340
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,560
It finally happened, Mama.

341
00:13:20,630 --> 00:13:23,500
I just wish Daddy were alive to walk me down the aisle.

342
00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:26,860
Totally committed to the bit.

343
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,130
Yes, Lily Aldrin.

344
00:13:29,200 --> 00:13:31,060
I sold you the painting earlier today.

345
00:13:31,130 --> 00:13:32,860
Oh, honey, hello.

346
00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:34,500
You sound happy.

347
00:13:34,560 --> 00:13:36,400
Are you kidding? We're popping the champagne right now.

348
00:13:36,460 --> 00:13:40,400
Well, I just wanted to offer you an exclusive chance

349
00:13:40,460 --> 00:13:42,630
to view some of my other paintings.

350
00:13:42,700 --> 00:13:46,800
Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, oh, I guess I should have told you.

351
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,830
We just bought that for the frame.

352
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:50,260
What?

353
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:52,060
Yeah, it's an original Anton Kreutzer,

354
00:13:52,130 --> 00:13:54,330
a very rare frame from the turn of the century.

355
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:58,000
So... y-you didn't like my painting?

356
00:13:58,060 --> 00:14:01,230
Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, no, not at all.

357
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:04,530
But you know,good for you.

358
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,030
Okay.

359
00:14:07,530 --> 00:14:11,100
Well, if you didn't want the painting, can I...

360
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:12,700
can I at least get it back?

361
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:16,030
Yeah, no, we don't have it anymore.

362
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:17,530
Where is it?

363
00:14:19,500 --> 00:14:22,100
I see.

364
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:24,130
H-He threw out my painting.

365
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,030
Champagne for everyone on me,

366
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,630
the happiest guy in the world.

367
00:14:37,660 --> 00:14:39,000
This is great.

368
00:14:39,060 --> 00:14:41,160
My dream of becoming an artist is dead,

369
00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:43,400
and now I'm watching my wardrobe disappear

370
00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:44,530
piece by piece.

371
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,630
There goes my favorite dress.

372
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:50,160
This dress meant a lot to me.

373
00:14:50,230 --> 00:14:51,160
Really?

374
00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:52,830
Yeah.

375
00:14:52,900 --> 00:14:57,460
It was spring of 2004 and I had been having a hard few months.

376
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:02,100
Da-amn.

377
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:05,430
I got a two-syllable "damn" in this dress.

378
00:15:05,500 --> 00:15:07,500
A two-syllable "damn."

379
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,800
That's the dream. Yeah.

380
00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,430
Now she belongs to...

381
00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:16,160
CanadaGirl@MetroNewsOne.com.

382
00:15:16,230 --> 00:15:17,960
It's still in the family.

383
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,000
Lily,

384
00:15:20,060 --> 00:15:21,660
you're not going to believe this.

385
00:15:21,730 --> 00:15:23,630
-Something amazing happened. -What?

386
00:15:23,700 --> 00:15:25,600
I went to the G-CWOK's apartment.

387
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,100
Really? Why?

388
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,300
Because I felt guilty.

389
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,360
This auction was my idea

390
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,660
and now you've had to sit around all day

391
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,530
while a bunch of vultures ruthlessly pick apart

392
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,360
the carcass of your wardrobe.

393
00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:40,530
It's still in the family.

394
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:41,800
And more importantly,

395
00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:43,530
I honestly love that painting

396
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,130
and I couldn't stand to think of it

397
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:46,960
in a trashcan someplace.

398
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,330
Well, what happened?

399
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:50,860
Well, hello.

400
00:15:50,930 --> 00:15:52,900
Hi, um... Lawrence.

401
00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,460
I-I'm here about the painting my wife Lily solyou--

402
00:15:55,530 --> 00:15:57,230
the one in the nice frame.

403
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,630
Talk about a nice frame.

404
00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:01,500
My, my, you are a big one, aren't you?

405
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,260
And you're married to that little bit of a thing.

406
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:04,660
How does that work?

407
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,160
I'd like to find out.

408
00:16:07,230 --> 00:16:08,160
Yeah, we get it.

409
00:16:08,230 --> 00:16:09,260
Gay guys like you.

410
00:16:09,330 --> 00:16:12,160
No, Lily, they love me,

411
00:16:12,230 --> 00:16:13,360
but that's not the important part.

412
00:16:13,430 --> 00:16:15,830
Here's the important part.

413
00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:17,160
Since you're clearly a man

414
00:16:17,230 --> 00:16:18,760
of impeccable taste and style,

415
00:16:18,830 --> 00:16:21,330
I-I came down here to ask you:

416
00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,360
what do you think of the boots?

417
00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:26,260
Walter.

418
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,530
Boots.

419
00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:36,400
Pulling.

420
00:16:36,460 --> 00:16:37,460
Them.

421
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,900
Off.

422
00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,360
I'll be in the cab.

423
00:16:48,060 --> 00:16:50,030
G-CWOK-approved.

424
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,360
The painting.

425
00:16:51,430 --> 00:16:53,660
Right, so, um, they told me they threw it

426
00:16:53,730 --> 00:16:55,060
in the building's Dumpster.

427
00:16:55,130 --> 00:16:56,700
It wasn't in there,

428
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,930
but the super told me that he'd seen one Dr. Greer--

429
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,460
a veterinarian who works in the building--

430
00:17:00,530 --> 00:17:02,260
take the painting out of the trash.

431
00:17:02,330 --> 00:17:03,630
Dr. Greer?

432
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:06,160
Who's Dr. Greer a-and why did he take my painting?

433
00:17:06,230 --> 00:17:08,060
You're about to find out.

434
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:11,860
Long story short, I had to make a trash run.

435
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:14,460
Been a busy day-- lots of neuterings.

436
00:17:14,530 --> 00:17:15,860
Ooh, we don't need the details.

437
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:17,630
Oh, n-n-no, it's not what you think.

438
00:17:17,700 --> 00:17:19,400
-Oh, thank God. -Yeah, yeah, yeah, mostly just dog testicles.

439
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:20,400
Anyway...

440
00:17:20,460 --> 00:17:22,960
I noticed your painting

441
00:17:23,030 --> 00:17:24,330
just sitting right there on top

442
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:27,700
and I thought, "Hey,free painting,"

443
00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:30,030
so I brought it upstairs

444
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:32,030
and hung it up in Exam Room 3,

445
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:34,000
and then the strangest thing happened.

446
00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:37,700
Hey, Muffin.

447
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,300
Whoa, I think he remembers me

448
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:43,000
from the last time he was here.

449
00:17:44,300 --> 00:17:46,060
Take Muffin to Exam Room 3.

450
00:17:46,130 --> 00:17:47,130
I'll meet you there.

451
00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:51,300
I went in, expecting the worst.

452
00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:57,030
I'd never seen Muffin that calm,

453
00:17:57,100 --> 00:17:59,260
and then a little later the same thing happened again

454
00:17:59,330 --> 00:18:01,460
with Tidbit...

455
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:04,560
and King Larry...

456
00:18:04,630 --> 00:18:07,630
and again with the Weinstein triplets.

457
00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:13,400
Something about your art speaks to the canine sensibility

458
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,030
on a very primal level.

459
00:18:15,100 --> 00:18:16,230
Really?

460
00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:17,560
Dogs like my paintings?

461
00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,600
Yeah.

462
00:18:18,660 --> 00:18:20,160
But you know who it bums out?

463
00:18:20,230 --> 00:18:21,400
Birds.

464
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,630
Yeah.

465
00:18:22,700 --> 00:18:23,930
Had a parrot in there today.

466
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,230
He took one look at it, pried open his cage,

467
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,400
flew right into the ceiling fan.

468
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,630
Anyway, because your first painting worked so well,

469
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,830
I convinced Dr. Greer to buy four more.

470
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,800
-Really? -Mm-hmm, at $500 a piece.

471
00:18:38,860 --> 00:18:40,460
That's two grand.

472
00:18:40,530 --> 00:18:42,500
That's more than we need for the contractor.

473
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,960
Yeah, but I was actually thinking we could reinvest it.

474
00:18:45,030 --> 00:18:46,960
-In what? -In you.

475
00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:53,600
Marshall explained that he was building a fancy new Web site

476
00:18:53,660 --> 00:18:57,060
specifically to sell Lily's artwork to veterinarians.

477
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,300
Well, it's not exactly the clientele

478
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:02,660
I had in mind, but...

479
00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:04,860
thank you for believing in me.

480
00:19:11,130 --> 00:19:14,430
Man, birds do not get you.

481
00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:26,430
-Hi, sweetie. -Hey,

482
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:27,960
I think I left my tie here. Have you seen it?

483
00:19:28,030 --> 00:19:30,830
No, I'm in wedding-planning mode.

484
00:19:30,830 --> 00:19:32,500
Stressville. Population: me.

485
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:33,700
Okay, big decision.

486
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,060
What do you think the cake should be:

487
00:19:35,130 --> 00:19:37,160
Fudgie the Whale or Cookie Puss?

488
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:39,360
Yeah, that was a bit.

489
00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,060
We were doing a bit.

490
00:19:41,060 --> 00:19:42,360
So I'm thinking Labor Day.

491
00:19:42,430 --> 00:19:44,000
I was going to say Fourth of July,

492
00:19:44,060 --> 00:19:46,460
but I don't want to steal any attention away from America.

493
00:19:48,830 --> 00:19:52,260
Abby, I've... I've got some bad news.

494
00:19:52,330 --> 00:19:55,300
-I can't marry you. -What?

495
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:57,760
Ted begged me not to.

496
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,300
I think he's in love with you.

497
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,760
Really?

498
00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:03,000
Yes, our plan worked better than we ever dreamed.

499
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:05,300
You have to go to him.

500
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,700
Here's his home address.

501
00:20:07,760 --> 00:20:09,200
But you know what? He works late,

502
00:20:09,260 --> 00:20:11,600
so I wouldn't go before 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning.

503
00:20:11,660 --> 00:20:13,300
Oh, my God, thank you.

504
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:15,330
But now I feel wrong keeping this.

505
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,360
Oh, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that.

506
00:20:17,430 --> 00:20:19,630
That's made of candy.

507
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:22,500
Later.

508
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,100
Hey,go to lilyandmarshallselltheirstuff.com

509
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,200
or charityfolks.com

510
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,500
we're having an auction to rise money 

511
00:20:32,500 --> 00:20:34,600
for the children's hospital of Los Angeles

512
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,100
you could get tons of cool stuff on the sell 

513
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:37,500
and they all use for great cost

514
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,300
thanks

