1 00:00:01,504 --> 00:00:03,367 Kids, in the spring of 2008, 2 00:00:03,467 --> 00:00:06,097 something kinda strange had been happening to your Uncle Barney. 3 00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:08,004 He'd be doing great with a woman... 4 00:00:08,104 --> 00:00:10,521 So I throw the pressurized oxygen tank in his mouth, 5 00:00:10,621 --> 00:00:13,082 I shoot the tank, boom! No more shark. 6 00:00:13,182 --> 00:00:15,469 Mr. Holland and I swim back to shore. 7 00:00:15,952 --> 00:00:17,234 Let me freshen your drink. 8 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,256 He'd only be gone a few moments, but when he returned... 9 00:00:21,356 --> 00:00:22,728 So where were we? 10 00:00:22,996 --> 00:00:24,071 ... he'd get slapped. 11 00:00:24,663 --> 00:00:25,964 It kept happening. 12 00:00:29,091 --> 00:00:31,996 Until finally, Lily was approached by a mysterious woman 13 00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:34,417 who warned her to stay away from Barney. 14 00:00:35,090 --> 00:00:36,972 So when it happened once more... 15 00:00:37,379 --> 00:00:40,542 Again?! Really?! Wait... 16 00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,712 ... Barney knew who to look for. 17 00:01:02,788 --> 00:01:03,842 Hey, excuse me. 18 00:01:03,949 --> 00:01:05,882 Did I sleep with you and then totally screw you over? 19 00:01:06,197 --> 00:01:07,361 No. 20 00:01:09,499 --> 00:01:11,204 What are you doing on Friday? 21 00:01:20,227 --> 00:01:20,961 Amy? 22 00:01:21,427 --> 00:01:22,234 Abby. 23 00:01:24,059 --> 00:01:25,921 Right. 24 00:01:27,419 --> 00:01:30,093 Sync: MiniBen314 Proofreading: MiniBen314. 25 00:01:30,619 --> 00:01:33,951 Transcript: Raceman Resync: kabbage 26 00:01:34,369 --> 00:01:36,811 How I Met Your Mother 3x19- Everything Must Go 27 00:01:37,318 --> 00:01:39,831 for the "Have You Met Team" for www. forom. com 28 00:01:41,347 --> 00:01:45,264 Kids, sometimes you can do something right a thousand times in a row... 29 00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:48,514 A rainbow! That's beautiful! 30 00:01:49,699 --> 00:01:52,461 What a beautiful rainbow! 31 00:01:53,309 --> 00:01:57,593 Another rainbow? It's beautiful! 32 00:01:57,816 --> 00:02:00,214 But then, that thousand-and-first time... 33 00:02:00,797 --> 00:02:04,254 You're kidding me. Seriously, aren't you sick of these things? 34 00:02:08,248 --> 00:02:09,783 Hey, how was yo day? 35 00:02:09,888 --> 00:02:12,563 Today, I yelled at a little girl for painting a rainbow. 36 00:02:12,786 --> 00:02:16,224 A rainbow? Sounds like that bitch had it coming. 37 00:02:19,229 --> 00:02:22,704 So, uh, I just met with the contractor. 38 00:02:22,806 --> 00:02:25,173 And it turns out, that fixing the floors of the new apartment 39 00:02:25,278 --> 00:02:27,113 is going to cost a lot more than the estimate. 40 00:02:27,219 --> 00:02:30,122 But we can barely afford that to begin with. 41 00:02:30,328 --> 00:02:31,964 I hate to say this, 44 00:02:38,827 --> 00:02:41,753 I mean your clothes. All those designer pieces and everything. 45 00:02:41,959 --> 00:02:44,254 What? Why just my clothes? 46 00:02:44,358 --> 00:02:46,502 We can sell my stuff, too, but I got to tell you, 47 00:02:46,608 --> 00:02:49,733 I think your Marc Jacobs cocktail dress is going to go for a lot more than my 48 00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,882 - "Split Happens" bowling shirt. - Dude. 49 00:02:51,986 --> 00:02:53,534 I'm not selling that. 50 00:02:55,447 --> 00:02:58,464 - I've already made the Website. - You made a Website? 51 00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:03,941 Yeah, it's called "Lily-and-Marshall -sell-their-stuff-dot-com. " 52 00:03:05,029 --> 00:03:07,982 No, you know what would be a better name for the site? 53 00:03:08,086 --> 00:03:10,890 Guy-forces-his-wife-to-dress- 54 00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:15,412 in-a-garbage-bag-for-the- next-three-years-dot-com. 55 00:03:16,936 --> 00:03:18,291 That's real. 56 00:03:18,826 --> 00:03:22,672 Now I'm worried. That woman is actually wearing a garbage bag. 57 00:03:23,199 --> 00:03:26,673 Hmm, but, girlfriend, you cannot pull off a tall kitchen. 58 00:03:27,728 --> 00:03:30,031 Why are you trying to ruin my life? 59 00:03:30,139 --> 00:03:32,344 Well, you slept with me and then you never called me again. 60 00:03:33,437 --> 00:03:34,933 - And? - That's it. 61 00:03:35,136 --> 00:03:36,151 That's it? 62 00:03:36,728 --> 00:03:38,593 As far as I'm concerned, if I leave you safe on dry land 63 00:03:38,698 --> 00:03:41,272 with adequate transportation home, you've got nothing to complain about. 64 00:03:41,578 --> 00:03:43,012 Well, it hurt, okay? 65 00:03:43,116 --> 00:03:46,344 And then Ted, the love of my life, started dating my boss instead of me. 66 00:03:46,669 --> 00:03:48,032 Do you know how that feels? 67 00:03:48,139 --> 00:03:51,151 Oh, boo-hoo, poor little Ashley. 68 00:03:51,358 --> 00:03:53,284 - Abby! - Abby. 69 00:03:53,689 --> 00:03:56,614 A few weeks ago, Ted dumped me as his wingman. 70 00:03:57,097 --> 00:03:58,863 You had a crush on him for a couple weeks? 71 00:03:58,967 --> 00:04:01,174 I was Ted's best friend for seven years. 72 00:04:01,278 --> 00:04:04,122 - Ted said Marshall was his best friend. - Seven years! 73 00:04:05,058 --> 00:04:05,793 Sorry. 74 00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:08,133 Ted. What an idiot. 75 00:04:08,826 --> 00:04:12,924 With his stupid "meaningful relationship" with Stella. 76 00:04:13,339 --> 00:04:15,174 - Ted. - Ted. 77 00:04:15,449 --> 00:04:17,814 - I hate Ted. - I hate Ted more. 78 00:04:17,916 --> 00:04:21,292 - Are you as turned on as I am? - Probably not quite as much. 79 00:04:23,749 --> 00:04:25,801 I'm sorry I yelled out "Ted. " 80 00:04:25,906 --> 00:04:27,992 I'm sorry I yelled out "Abby. " 81 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,452 I am Abby. 82 00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:32,322 Oh, cool. 83 00:04:33,646 --> 00:04:34,782 This is insane. 84 00:04:34,987 --> 00:04:36,742 Has Lily even worn half this stuff? 85 00:04:36,948 --> 00:04:39,663 Oh, yeah, like there's nothing in your closet you've never worn? 86 00:04:39,936 --> 00:04:41,853 As a matter of fact, no, there isn't. 87 00:04:41,958 --> 00:04:44,084 Whatever, red cowboy boots. 88 00:04:44,289 --> 00:04:46,962 Those are nice boots. I totally pull those off. 89 00:04:49,118 --> 00:04:51,492 If I were to say "Ted could never pull them off, " 90 00:04:51,599 --> 00:04:53,641 - what would I be talking about? - His red cowboy boots. 91 00:04:53,748 --> 00:04:57,264 I totally pull them off! It's a classic Western look. 92 00:04:57,768 --> 00:04:59,984 Oh, okay, uh, today's category: 93 00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:03,601 classic Westerns that involve red cowboy boots. 94 00:05:04,557 --> 00:05:05,343 Robin. 95 00:05:05,547 --> 00:05:07,521 "The Good, the Bad, and the Fabulous. " 96 00:05:09,646 --> 00:05:11,153 "The Magnificent Kevin. " 97 00:05:12,438 --> 00:05:14,601 "No Country for Straight Men. " 98 00:05:16,579 --> 00:05:18,743 I don't want to sell my clothes! 99 00:05:18,949 --> 00:05:20,774 I know, sweetie. Come here. 100 00:05:22,886 --> 00:05:24,164 Is this a hundred percent silk? 101 00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:27,642 Lily, listen, we really need the money. 102 00:05:27,747 --> 00:05:30,514 I have some leads on a job, but until then, I just... 103 00:05:30,928 --> 00:05:32,134 I don't know what else we can do. 104 00:05:33,868 --> 00:05:35,554 I'll sell my paintings! 105 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:36,962 What? 106 00:05:37,166 --> 00:05:38,971 Yeah, I'll sell my paintings. 107 00:05:39,008 --> 00:05:41,603 Good oil paintings go for like, $500. 108 00:05:42,207 --> 00:05:44,104 Yeah. Totally. 109 00:05:44,558 --> 00:05:45,252 But... 110 00:05:45,358 --> 00:05:48,732 Kids, sometimes you can do something right a thousand times in a row... 111 00:05:49,186 --> 00:05:50,104 I love it. 112 00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:51,931 It's a masterpiece. 113 00:05:54,099 --> 00:05:55,771 That's it. We're selling the TV. 114 00:05:55,979 --> 00:05:58,244 I just want to come home and stare at this all day. 115 00:06:00,016 --> 00:06:01,491 Somebody call the cops! 116 00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:04,611 My wife stole an awesome painting from the museum! 117 00:06:07,388 --> 00:06:09,704 But then, that thousand-and-first time... 118 00:06:09,806 --> 00:06:12,262 ... that kind of money only goes for real paintings. 119 00:06:14,598 --> 00:06:15,881 What does that mean? 120 00:06:16,957 --> 00:06:21,321 Look, it just means that we need money right now and I'm not sure that 121 00:06:21,428 --> 00:06:23,682 selling your paintings is how we're going to get it. 122 00:06:24,216 --> 00:06:25,832 You don't believe in me. 123 00:06:27,206 --> 00:06:29,353 No, wait, wait! Of c... 124 00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:30,932 of course I believe in you! 125 00:06:31,139 --> 00:06:33,704 Marshall, I am proud of my work as an artist. 126 00:06:33,809 --> 00:06:37,023 My paintings are good. I bet Robin would buy one. 127 00:06:37,309 --> 00:06:38,231 What now? 128 00:06:39,677 --> 00:06:43,071 I love your painting, I just... I'm trying to be realistic. 129 00:06:44,136 --> 00:06:47,164 Well, how much money do we need for the contractor to finish the job? 130 00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:48,711 About 1, 500 bucks. 131 00:06:49,818 --> 00:06:54,222 So, if I can sell three of my paintings at 500 bucks a pop, then 132 00:06:54,327 --> 00:06:56,142 I get to keep all my clothes. 133 00:06:56,998 --> 00:07:00,022 - We need money fast. - Well, give me a week. 134 00:07:01,746 --> 00:07:03,222 Okay, a week. 135 00:07:03,499 --> 00:07:04,594 - Fine. - Fine. 136 00:07:04,918 --> 00:07:06,054 Fine. 137 00:07:18,098 --> 00:07:21,414 Pulling. Them. Off. 138 00:07:27,476 --> 00:07:30,380 Lily's first move in the great art challenge of 2008 139 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:33,712 was to display one of her favorite paintings at her friend's gallery. 140 00:07:33,817 --> 00:07:35,452 The night didn't go so well. 141 00:07:41,506 --> 00:07:43,482 But then at the last minute... 142 00:07:43,586 --> 00:07:45,621 - I love it. - You do? 143 00:07:45,907 --> 00:07:48,770 Your top. It's gorgeous. Is that 100% silk? 144 00:07:48,877 --> 00:07:51,869 It's not for sale! My clothes are not for sale! 145 00:07:52,081 --> 00:07:54,722 So the next day, Lily took her painting to a coffee house 146 00:07:54,819 --> 00:07:56,504 that displayed local artists. 147 00:07:56,758 --> 00:08:00,595 We've been sitting here for hours and nobody's even glanced at my painting. 148 00:08:01,098 --> 00:08:02,930 Come on. Let's start talking it up. 149 00:08:04,946 --> 00:08:07,101 I really like that painting! 150 00:08:07,307 --> 00:08:08,881 It's neat! 151 00:08:08,986 --> 00:08:11,082 The-the colors are neat. 152 00:08:11,187 --> 00:08:12,860 The-the shapes are neat. 153 00:08:13,164 --> 00:08:15,999 It's really just... neat. 154 00:08:18,174 --> 00:08:18,870 What? 155 00:08:20,217 --> 00:08:21,242 Observe. 156 00:08:22,337 --> 00:08:25,560 I think there's a dynamic quality to the brushwork that, 157 00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,421 combined with the fluid composition, 158 00:08:27,527 --> 00:08:30,462 creates an almost Kandinsky-like emotional resonance. 159 00:08:31,817 --> 00:08:36,462 Yes, and you can still enjoy it even if you're not a pretentious douche. 160 00:08:38,257 --> 00:08:40,172 Can you clarify something for me about your critique? 161 00:08:40,277 --> 00:08:43,552 Are the colors "neat" or are they more "neato burrito?" 162 00:08:45,585 --> 00:08:47,560 Uh, then again, red cowboy boots. 163 00:08:47,666 --> 00:08:52,232 I pull these off! I pull these off! 164 00:08:52,837 --> 00:08:54,792 You know what I hate most about Ted? 165 00:08:54,894 --> 00:08:55,732 What? 166 00:08:56,065 --> 00:08:57,922 His stupid hair. 167 00:08:58,166 --> 00:09:00,782 His stupid, lame awesome hair. 168 00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:03,452 It's so stupid and awesome. 169 00:09:05,726 --> 00:09:06,990 You know what I hate most about Ted? 170 00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:07,751 What? 171 00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:11,820 How he's always like, "Oh, I want to fall in love and have a relationship. 172 00:09:11,926 --> 00:09:15,379 I care about the people I have sex with. " He's so lame. 173 00:09:15,587 --> 00:09:17,209 He's so lame and awesome. 174 00:09:20,025 --> 00:09:21,291 You know what he needs? 175 00:09:21,396 --> 00:09:24,721 He needs to see just how horrible he is when he's in a relationship. 176 00:09:25,024 --> 00:09:28,509 Yeah, and I need to show Ted that I'm over him. 177 00:09:29,224 --> 00:09:30,681 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 178 00:09:31,635 --> 00:09:32,811 I think so. 179 00:09:33,054 --> 00:09:35,191 You're thinking of having sex with Ted? 180 00:09:37,735 --> 00:09:41,801 After four days without selling a single painting, Lily was getting desperate. 181 00:09:41,905 --> 00:09:45,011 Painting for sale! $500! 182 00:09:45,114 --> 00:09:47,991 Lifelong dream hanging in the balance! 183 00:09:49,864 --> 00:09:52,010 It's like they don't even see us. 184 00:09:52,117 --> 00:09:53,961 Yeah, we're dirt to them. 185 00:09:54,447 --> 00:09:56,129 What do you need money for? 186 00:09:56,237 --> 00:09:59,272 Oh, I'm trying to fix the hardwood floors in my new apartment. 187 00:09:59,374 --> 00:10:00,251 You? 188 00:10:00,685 --> 00:10:01,802 Heroin. 189 00:10:05,407 --> 00:10:07,761 - Do you like heroin? - Love it. 190 00:10:07,867 --> 00:10:10,930 If you sell that, I'm going to take your money and go buy some more heroin. 191 00:10:12,956 --> 00:10:15,542 Thanks for your honesty, Crazy Sock Guy. 192 00:10:17,485 --> 00:10:20,321 - Oh, I'm never gonna sell this... - It's not very good. 193 00:10:22,166 --> 00:10:24,741 And just as she was about to lose all hope, 194 00:10:24,845 --> 00:10:26,629 something amazing happened. 195 00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:28,992 Oh, my God! 196 00:10:30,207 --> 00:10:33,310 500 bucks! Who's a real painter now, Marshall? 197 00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:35,500 Honey, I never said you weren't a real painter. 198 00:10:35,705 --> 00:10:37,229 I know, sweetie. 199 00:10:37,334 --> 00:10:40,349 And since I'm a professional artist now, 200 00:10:40,457 --> 00:10:42,991 I'm going to sketch you an Aldrin original, 201 00:10:43,097 --> 00:10:46,492 you know, to say thanks for being such a supportive husband. 202 00:10:46,595 --> 00:10:48,480 I'm thinking about calling it... 203 00:10:48,586 --> 00:10:49,802 "Suck It!" 204 00:10:50,325 --> 00:10:53,722 Lily, come on. I'm proud of you. Who-who bought it? 205 00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:57,181 Well, that's the best part. A gay couple without kids. 206 00:10:57,287 --> 00:10:58,982 A G-CWOK! 207 00:10:59,245 --> 00:11:02,021 - You bagged a G-CWOK?! - Yeah, that's right. 208 00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:04,872 They are the heart and soul of the art-buying community. 209 00:11:04,975 --> 00:11:07,381 You know what you should do? You should call up the G-CWOKs 210 00:11:07,576 --> 00:11:09,779 and offer them a free painting if they throw a private art party 211 00:11:09,886 --> 00:11:11,500 for all their G-CWOK friends. 212 00:11:11,606 --> 00:11:14,570 That's an amazing idea. I'm going to go call them. 213 00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,882 I can probably sell two more paintings with time to spare. 214 00:11:18,316 --> 00:11:22,019 Oh, wait, Marshall. There was something I had to tell you. What was it? 215 00:11:22,127 --> 00:11:23,520 Oh, that's right. 216 00:11:23,656 --> 00:11:24,670 Suck it. 217 00:11:32,186 --> 00:11:33,232 Hey. 218 00:11:33,616 --> 00:11:36,232 Ted, fancy bumping into you here. 219 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:38,642 Have you guys met my girlfriend Abby? 220 00:11:39,215 --> 00:11:42,321 - Uh, yeah. Hi, Abby. So... - Hello, Abby. 221 00:11:42,814 --> 00:11:44,292 So you guys are dating now? 222 00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:45,361 That's right. 223 00:11:45,814 --> 00:11:48,100 I am done with this whole being awesome thing. 224 00:11:48,344 --> 00:11:50,581 Now I'm all about farmers' markets and 225 00:11:50,684 --> 00:11:53,910 day hikes in matching khaki cargo shorts. Isn't that right, sweetie? 226 00:11:54,116 --> 00:11:56,941 That's right. And girlfriends are lame. 227 00:11:57,045 --> 00:11:59,422 Unless they're me. I miss you, Ted. 228 00:12:00,664 --> 00:12:02,669 Abby and I are in love. 229 00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,989 Not hot passionate love. 230 00:12:05,096 --> 00:12:06,401 Couple love. 231 00:12:06,504 --> 00:12:08,880 You know, movie night with my girlfriend, 232 00:12:08,986 --> 00:12:10,651 then waiting for her to go to bed 233 00:12:10,757 --> 00:12:13,600 so I can steal one pitiful moment of hollow ecstasy 234 00:12:13,704 --> 00:12:16,099 by the cold, blue light of my computer monitor. 235 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,570 We're showing Ted how lame he is. 236 00:12:19,805 --> 00:12:21,779 You don't have to say it, though. 237 00:12:22,307 --> 00:12:24,939 Uh, okay, Barney, you can stop. 238 00:12:25,147 --> 00:12:27,291 Stop what, Ted? Stop being in love? 239 00:12:27,394 --> 00:12:29,569 Next he'll ask us to stop breathing. 240 00:12:30,515 --> 00:12:32,342 We can't stop breathing, Ted. 241 00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:34,120 Your hair looks amazing. 242 00:12:35,866 --> 00:12:38,702 Barney, I, I see what you're doing. Please stop. 243 00:12:38,905 --> 00:12:42,920 Not before I share with you what being in a relationship leads to, Ted. 244 00:12:43,567 --> 00:12:46,052 Abby, Pookie Bear... 245 00:12:46,687 --> 00:12:50,670 I am so pathetically desperate for you, that... 246 00:12:51,057 --> 00:12:53,062 aw, heck, I'll just say it. 247 00:12:56,186 --> 00:12:59,312 - Will you marry me? - Wait, really? 248 00:12:59,847 --> 00:13:02,519 I would never joke about true love. 249 00:13:03,624 --> 00:13:06,131 - Yes, I'll marry you. - Okay. 250 00:13:07,827 --> 00:13:09,861 Thank you, thank you. 251 00:13:10,285 --> 00:13:12,280 I have to call my mom. 252 00:13:13,536 --> 00:13:14,739 That's you. 253 00:13:16,236 --> 00:13:18,419 Uh, yeah, I don't think Abby knows you're kidding. 254 00:13:18,527 --> 00:13:20,080 Uh, yes, she does. 255 00:13:20,357 --> 00:13:22,269 It finally happened, Mama. 256 00:13:22,455 --> 00:13:25,079 I just wish Daddy were alive to walk me down the aisle. 257 00:13:26,796 --> 00:13:28,460 Totally committed to the bit. 258 00:13:29,685 --> 00:13:32,722 Yes, Lily Aldrin. I sold you the painting earlier today. 259 00:13:32,926 --> 00:13:34,401 Oh, honey, hello. 260 00:13:34,505 --> 00:13:35,720 You sound happy. 261 00:13:35,924 --> 00:13:38,059 Are you kidding? We're popping the champagne right now. 262 00:13:38,925 --> 00:13:42,229 Well, I just wanted to offer you an exclusive chance 263 00:13:42,335 --> 00:13:44,309 to view some of my other paintings. 264 00:13:44,514 --> 00:13:48,569 Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, oh, I guess I should have told you. 265 00:13:48,764 --> 00:13:50,480 We just bought that for the frame. 266 00:13:51,377 --> 00:13:52,082 What? 267 00:13:52,186 --> 00:13:53,969 Yeah, it's an original Anton Kreutzer, 268 00:13:54,077 --> 00:13:55,992 a very rare frame from the turn of the century. 269 00:13:56,607 --> 00:13:59,620 So... you didn't like my painting? 270 00:13:59,824 --> 00:14:02,832 Oh, honey, oh, sweetie, no, not at all. 271 00:14:03,506 --> 00:14:05,802 But you know, good for you. 272 00:14:09,444 --> 00:14:12,649 Well, if you didn't want the painting, can I... 273 00:14:13,005 --> 00:14:14,979 can I at least get it back? 274 00:14:15,265 --> 00:14:17,640 Yeah, no, we don't have it anymore. 275 00:14:18,267 --> 00:14:19,182 Where is it? 276 00:14:21,516 --> 00:14:22,459 I see. 277 00:14:24,177 --> 00:14:25,731 H-He threw out my painting. 278 00:14:27,397 --> 00:14:29,651 Champagne for everyone, on me, 279 00:14:29,917 --> 00:14:32,282 the happiest guy in the world. 280 00:14:34,925 --> 00:14:36,562 Ginger ale. It's a bit. 281 00:14:40,984 --> 00:14:42,326 This is great. 282 00:14:42,434 --> 00:14:44,466 My dream of becoming an artist is dead, 283 00:14:44,572 --> 00:14:48,466 and now I'm watching my wardrobe disappear piece by piece. 284 00:14:49,284 --> 00:14:50,989 There goes my favorite dress. 285 00:14:52,211 --> 00:14:53,628 This dress meant a lot to me. 286 00:14:53,992 --> 00:14:55,828 - Really? - Yeah. 287 00:14:56,052 --> 00:15:00,346 It was spring of 2004 and I had been having a hard few months. 288 00:15:02,613 --> 00:15:04,419 Day-am. 289 00:15:05,611 --> 00:15:08,159 I got a two-syllable "damn" in this dress. 290 00:15:08,531 --> 00:15:10,486 A two-syllable "damn. " 291 00:15:11,054 --> 00:15:12,777 - That's the dream. - Yeah. 292 00:15:13,181 --> 00:15:19,156 Now she belongs to... CanadaGirl@MetroNewsOne. com. 293 00:15:19,481 --> 00:15:20,908 It's still in the family. 294 00:15:22,583 --> 00:15:24,668 Lily, you're not going to believe this. 295 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:26,588 - Something amazing happened. - What? 296 00:15:27,142 --> 00:15:28,846 I went to the G-CWOK's apartment. 297 00:15:29,013 --> 00:15:30,178 Really? Why? 298 00:15:30,281 --> 00:15:31,839 Because I felt guilty. 299 00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,939 This auction was my idea and now you've had to sit around all day 300 00:15:35,042 --> 00:15:39,307 while a bunch of vultures ruthlessly ick apart the carcass of your wardrobe. 301 00:15:41,652 --> 00:15:43,416 It's still in the family. 302 00:15:43,811 --> 00:15:45,156 And more importantly, 303 00:15:45,261 --> 00:15:47,208 I honestly love that painting and 304 00:15:47,311 --> 00:15:49,937 I couldn't stand to think of it in a trashcan someplace. 305 00:15:50,381 --> 00:15:51,659 Well, what happened? 306 00:15:53,184 --> 00:15:54,419 Well, hello. 307 00:15:54,523 --> 00:15:58,766 Hi, um... Lawrence. I'm here about the painting my wife Lily sold you... 308 00:15:59,071 --> 00:16:00,728 the one in the nice frame. 309 00:16:01,072 --> 00:16:04,818 Talk about a nice frame. My, my, you are a big one, aren't you? 310 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:07,668 And you're married to that little bit of a thing. How does that work? 311 00:16:08,364 --> 00:16:09,658 I'd like to find out. 312 00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,349 Yeah, we get it. Gay guys like you. 313 00:16:12,914 --> 00:16:14,347 No, Lily, 314 00:16:14,704 --> 00:16:17,069 they love me, but that's not the important part. 315 00:16:17,284 --> 00:16:18,839 Here's the important part. 316 00:16:19,221 --> 00:16:22,048 Since you're clearly a man of impeccable taste and style, 317 00:16:22,152 --> 00:16:23,987 I came down here to ask you: 318 00:16:25,331 --> 00:16:27,178 what do you think of the boots? 319 00:16:32,732 --> 00:16:33,489 Boots. 320 00:16:38,824 --> 00:16:41,826 Pulling. Them. Off. 321 00:16:45,782 --> 00:16:47,069 I'll be in the cab. 322 00:16:51,691 --> 00:16:53,048 G-CWOK-approved. 323 00:16:53,252 --> 00:16:54,379 The painting. 324 00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:57,886 Right, so, um, they told me they threw it in the building's Dumpster. 325 00:16:58,551 --> 00:17:02,158 It wasn't in there, but the super told me that he'd seen one Dr. Greer, 326 00:17:02,264 --> 00:17:03,686 a veterinarian who works in the building, 327 00:17:03,794 --> 00:17:05,348 take the painting out of the trash. 328 00:17:05,672 --> 00:17:09,696 Dr. Greer? Who's Dr. Greer and why did he take my painting? 329 00:17:10,342 --> 00:17:11,837 You're about to find out. 330 00:17:13,894 --> 00:17:15,766 Long story short, I had to make a trash run. 331 00:17:15,874 --> 00:17:17,568 Been a busy day... lots of neuterings. 332 00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:18,857 Ooh, we don't need the details. 333 00:17:18,963 --> 00:17:20,666 Oh, no no no, it's not what you think. 334 00:17:21,101 --> 00:17:23,478 Yeah, yeah, yeah, mostly just dog testicles. Anyway... 335 00:17:24,703 --> 00:17:26,297 I noticed your painting 336 00:17:26,403 --> 00:17:30,707 just sitting right there on top and I thought, "Hey, free painting, " 337 00:17:31,562 --> 00:17:35,139 so I brought it upstairs and hung it up in Exam Room 3, 338 00:17:35,244 --> 00:17:37,649 and then the strangest thing happened. 339 00:17:40,032 --> 00:17:41,716 Hey, Muffin. 340 00:17:43,182 --> 00:17:46,018 Whoa, I think he remembers me from the last time he was here. 341 00:17:47,893 --> 00:17:50,717 Take Muffin to Exam Room 3. I'll meet you there. 342 00:17:52,104 --> 00:17:54,227 I went in, expecting the worst. 343 00:17:56,801 --> 00:17:59,836 I'd never seen Muffin that calm, 344 00:18:00,202 --> 00:18:04,187 and then a little later the same thing happened again with Tidbit... 345 00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,458 and King Larry... 346 00:18:07,724 --> 00:18:10,697 and again with the Weinstein triplets. 347 00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:14,958 Something about your art 348 00:18:15,063 --> 00:18:18,287 speaks to the canine sensibility on a very primal level. 349 00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:21,587 - Really? Dogs like my paintings? - Yeah. 350 00:18:21,793 --> 00:18:24,388 But you know who it bums out? Birds. 351 00:18:25,691 --> 00:18:28,139 Had a parrot in there today. He took one look at it, 352 00:18:28,244 --> 00:18:31,348 pried open his cage, flew right into the ceiling fan. 353 00:18:35,473 --> 00:18:37,606 Anyway, because your first painting worked so well, 354 00:18:37,713 --> 00:18:39,777 I convinced Dr. Greer to buy four more. 355 00:18:39,983 --> 00:18:42,548 - Really? - At $500 apiece. 356 00:18:42,654 --> 00:18:45,607 That's two grand. That's more than we need for the contractor. 357 00:18:45,821 --> 00:18:48,199 Yeah, but I was actually thinking we could reinvest it. 358 00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:49,957 - In what? - In you. 359 00:18:54,312 --> 00:18:56,848 Marshall explained that he was building a fancy new Web site 360 00:18:56,951 --> 00:19:00,626 specifically to sell Lily's artwork to veterinarians. 361 00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:05,638 Well, it's not exactly the clientele I had in mind, but... 362 00:19:06,533 --> 00:19:08,769 thank you for believing in me. 363 00:19:14,291 --> 00:19:17,509 Man, birds do not get you. 364 00:19:29,912 --> 00:19:30,919 Hi, sweetie. 365 00:19:31,024 --> 00:19:32,778 Hey, I think I left my tie here. Have you seen it? 366 00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:35,570 No, I'm in wedding-planning mode. 367 00:19:35,824 --> 00:19:38,347 Stressville. Population: me. Okay, big decision. 368 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,848 What do you think the cake should be: Fudgie the Whale or Cookie Puss? 369 00:19:42,643 --> 00:19:45,689 Yeah, that was a bit. We were doing a bit. 370 00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:49,040 So I'm thinking Labor Day. I was going to say Fourth of July, 371 00:19:49,145 --> 00:19:52,609 but I don't want to steal any attention away from America. 372 00:19:54,513 --> 00:19:56,948 Abby, I've... I've got some bad news. 373 00:19:58,124 --> 00:19:59,989 - I can't marry you. - What? 374 00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:04,478 Ted begged me not to. I think he's in love with you. 375 00:20:04,585 --> 00:20:07,240 - Really? - Yes, our plan worked, 376 00:20:07,345 --> 00:20:09,629 better than we ever dreamed. You have to go to him. 377 00:20:11,692 --> 00:20:13,928 Here's his home address. But you know what? He works late, 378 00:20:14,035 --> 00:20:16,300 so I wouldn't go before 2:00 or 3:00 in the morning. 379 00:20:16,672 --> 00:20:20,560 Oh, my God, thank you. But now I feel wrong keeping this. 380 00:20:20,665 --> 00:20:23,977 Oh, yeah, I wouldn't worry about that. That's made of candy. 381 00:20:24,553 --> 00:20:25,408 Later.