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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Happiness is a fallacy.
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If I just agree with you,
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can we talk about
something else?
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Anything else?
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I mean, there are things
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that make you happy, but it's
not a sustainable feeling.
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Parades don't last forever.
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Fireworks burn out, colors fade.
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It's not about
parades and fireworks.
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It's about
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that pair of tits there.
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That's happiness.
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A scratch behind the ear,
the sun on your face...
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a decaying seagull carcass.
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Happiness is in the
quieter moments, mate.
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It's the small things that...
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The vet said he might start
vomiting, have a seizure
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or just stop eating.
What's that sound?
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Well, there are things
that we can do.
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I saw a Web site
about these new steroids that...
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I don't want to put
him through that.
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Anyway, guys, uh,
it's good chatting with you.
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We just need to make sure
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that he doesn't
overexert himself and...
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wait.
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Thank you.
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Any time.
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No, I-I mean for...
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you know, just letting me cry
and not trying to fix me.
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Drew used to always
try to cheer me up
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by playing
"Got your nose!"
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It was so annoying.
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His heart was
in the right place.
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God, we were so young
when we started dating.
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It felt safe and
comfortable, but...
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I could never be
myself around Drew.
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It was like I was
wearing this mask
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that I couldn't take off.
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But I know that you love
the real me, warts and all.
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Wait. You have warts?
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Where is this place?
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I don't know.
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Huh. Wonder why I never
noticed it before.
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Looks like a good place
to curb stomp ducks.
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Wilfred, are you insane?
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That's ironic,
you asking me that. Good one.
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You can't smoke anymore.
Why?
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Because I got lung cancer?
50
00:03:06,470 --> 00:03:08,072
Well, that's just stupid.
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That's like the guy
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who starts wearing condoms
after he gets AIDS.
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What the hell is that?
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Raw food: Chicken,
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liver, rice, seaweed,
carrots and eggs.
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This food can help
you get better.
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Ryan, I've eaten
all kinds of shit--
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rabbit shit, cat shit,
deer shit--
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I'm not a fussy eater.
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But I draw the line at carrots.
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Fine, then have some kibble.
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Boring.
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I'll order you a pizza.
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I'm not hungry.
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Wilfred, you have to eat
something, or you'll...
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Finish the sentence, Ry.
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I'm not giving up.
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Mate, you gotta stop looking
at this as a bad thing.
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I have completed
my godly mission of leading you
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to happiness.
I can't.
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That-That's just not...
It's true.
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When I met you, you were trying
to off yourself
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with a bottle of pills.
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00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:02,941
Now, you're parting
the pink seas
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with the girl of your dreams.
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It's time for me to move on
to the next pathetic loser.
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I-I mean, "chosen one."
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It's just...
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so sad.
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Ryan, consider this.
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If I...
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Wilfred...
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Wilfred!
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Wilfred?
Oh, my God. No!
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Wilfred!
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Gotcha.
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Oh, you asshole.
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I was just only trying
to make you laugh.
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00:04:39,451 --> 00:04:41,451
Well, it didn't make me laugh.
Made me laugh.
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Jesus.
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I knew you two
would get together.
92
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:49,698
Well, Ryan figured
it out before I did.
93
00:04:49,766 --> 00:04:52,034
Well, Ryan was always
a very special little boy.
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Even as a baby,
he knew exactly what he wanted.
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Always the left breast,
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never the right,
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and I bet he hasn't
changed a bit, has he?
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00:05:03,143 --> 00:05:06,647
You know, I've never seen
any baby pictures of Ryan.
99
00:05:06,715 --> 00:05:08,247
Yeah, they're here somewhere.
100
00:05:08,314 --> 00:05:09,948
I-I haven't finished unpacking
from my move,
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00:05:10,015 --> 00:05:11,981
but I'll dig them out this week.
102
00:05:15,988 --> 00:05:18,153
Well, Ralston pooped
three times.
103
00:05:18,221 --> 00:05:21,092
Of course, I only had two bags,
so I had to improvise.
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Ryan, how you doing?
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Come here.
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Jenna.
How do you do?
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Nice to meet you.
108
00:05:31,805 --> 00:05:34,339
Oh, looks like I got here
just in time.
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Your hug vitals are low.
110
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- Oh. - When was the last time
you had your neck examined? Mmm.
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00:05:40,348 --> 00:05:42,417
Mm-mm!
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Don't worry.
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I'm a doctor.
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Hey, dickweed,
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check it out.
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You're not the only tripod
on the block anymore.
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00:05:52,113 --> 00:05:54,408
Wilfred, how you doing,
little fella?
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Oh, Elliott, Wilfred has cancer.
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You hear that, bitch?
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The big C.
Fourth-stage lung cancer.
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00:06:01,314 --> 00:06:03,681
I win.
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00:06:03,749 --> 00:06:05,610
I am so sorry.
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00:06:05,730 --> 00:06:06,608
But don't lose hope.
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Listen, this little fella
had cancer three times.
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Seriously?
Seriously?
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00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:11,416
He's a real miracle.
127
00:06:11,484 --> 00:06:13,387
I brought him to a holistic vet.
128
00:06:13,454 --> 00:06:15,756
He used herbs,
acupuncture, Reiki...
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00:06:15,824 --> 00:06:17,459
We haven't tried
Eastern medicine.
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00:06:17,526 --> 00:06:19,260
The vet said
Wilfred's too far along.
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Well, it wouldn't
hurt to get a name.
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Oh, we can talk
about this later.
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Listen, as a practitioner
of Western medicine,
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00:06:26,199 --> 00:06:27,864
I was skeptical,
but I'm telling you,
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00:06:27,932 --> 00:06:30,901
this naturopathic "doctor"
saved his life.
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00:06:30,969 --> 00:06:33,569
Isn't that right,
my little survivor?
137
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Yeah, well, you may have had
more cancer than me,
138
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but I'm the only
one who has it now!
139
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Oh, shit!
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Is that a lump?
141
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Bloody hell!
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But Dr. Ha could
save his life.
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00:06:46,715 --> 00:06:48,549
I don't understand why
you're so against this.
144
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,715
Because I can't
handle hope right now!
145
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He's dying, Ryan!
146
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What are you doing, mate?
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I'm trying to save your life.
148
00:06:56,788 --> 00:06:58,654
No, what you're doing is
creating a rift
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00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,590
between you and Jenna,
and if that happens,
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00:07:00,658 --> 00:07:01,992
my death will be meaningless.
151
00:07:02,060 --> 00:07:03,761
This is how it's supposed to be.
152
00:07:03,829 --> 00:07:06,561
I'm gonna die, you and Jenna
are gonna be together forever,
153
00:07:06,628 --> 00:07:08,283
and nothing's gonna change that!
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00:07:08,403 --> 00:07:09,576
Hey, bro.
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00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:18,603
Hey, Wilfy!
How's my boy, huh?
156
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:20,104
He has cancer.
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00:07:20,172 --> 00:07:22,311
And now he's got
a 200-pound tumor.
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My mom told him about Wilfred.
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00:07:26,716 --> 00:07:28,351
He called me to get the details,
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00:07:28,419 --> 00:07:30,487
but he didn't say anything
about coming out here.
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Did you tell him about us?
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I meant to,
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but his call was
so unexpected and...
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I was so upset.
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Whatever you want to do.
166
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It's okay. Let's just
keep this about Wilfred.
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Drew, take it easy with Wilfred.
168
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He's not supposed
to exert himself.
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Yeah, okay.
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I don't think he's
too happy to see me.
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Of course he is.
We all are.
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Get rid of him, Ryan.
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Throw his magnificent,
rock-hard ass out of here.
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Hey, check it out!
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It's Sporty!
Sporty?
176
00:08:01,657 --> 00:08:04,528
Yeah, that's the squirrel that
used to throw nuts at my rig
177
00:08:04,595 --> 00:08:07,495
every time I parked under
the walnut tree out front.
178
00:08:07,563 --> 00:08:09,365
At least he looks
happy to see me.
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00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:10,701
You really
should have called, Drew.
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00:08:10,768 --> 00:08:12,305
I mean,
where are you gonna stay?
181
00:08:12,372 --> 00:08:14,740
I don't know.
I thought maybe with you?
182
00:08:14,808 --> 00:08:16,540
Uh, I... I don't, uh...
183
00:08:16,608 --> 00:08:18,376
Sorry. That's stupid.
184
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Never mind.
185
00:08:20,146 --> 00:08:22,048
I'll figure it out.
186
00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:25,451
You can crash on my couch.
187
00:08:25,519 --> 00:08:26,786
Ryan, no!
188
00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:29,989
The past is the past, right?
189
00:08:31,591 --> 00:08:33,859
You hear that?
She's laughing.
190
00:08:33,927 --> 00:08:35,896
First time since
she found out I was sick.
191
00:08:35,963 --> 00:08:37,098
This is bad.
192
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,499
Why?
193
00:08:38,566 --> 00:08:39,599
You don't want Jenna
to be happy?
194
00:08:39,667 --> 00:08:41,301
I want you to be happy.
195
00:08:41,368 --> 00:08:42,735
It's my doggod-damned job!
196
00:08:42,802 --> 00:08:44,471
And it's not going
to be possible
197
00:08:44,539 --> 00:08:46,875
if that horse-hung Neanderthal
is back in Jenna's life.
198
00:08:46,942 --> 00:08:49,076
He's not here for her.
He's here for you.
199
00:08:49,144 --> 00:08:51,077
Jenna and I are fine.
200
00:08:51,145 --> 00:08:53,147
Now let's just do what we can
to make everyone comfortable.
201
00:08:53,216 --> 00:08:55,850
I don't think Drew's going
to be too comfortable.
202
00:08:55,918 --> 00:08:58,122
What does that mean?
203
00:08:58,191 --> 00:09:01,562
Dog works
in mysterious ways, Ryan.
204
00:09:07,904 --> 00:09:09,340
Oh, my God.
What's so funny?
205
00:09:09,408 --> 00:09:11,175
Oh, I was just filling Jenna in
206
00:09:11,242 --> 00:09:12,976
on the Sheboygan social scene.
207
00:09:13,044 --> 00:09:15,012
Our friends Dan and
Marta just found out
208
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:16,715
that they're
pregnant with twins...
209
00:09:16,783 --> 00:09:18,050
Again!
...again!
210
00:09:19,986 --> 00:09:22,321
Oh, classic Dan and Marta.
211
00:09:24,290 --> 00:09:29,595
So, it's getting kind of...
kind of late.
212
00:09:29,663 --> 00:09:31,964
Oh, yeah, I'm still
on Sheboygan time,
213
00:09:32,031 --> 00:09:34,702
so for me it's... 9:30?
214
00:09:34,770 --> 00:09:36,038
Wilfy needs his rest.
215
00:09:36,105 --> 00:09:38,040
That's cool.
216
00:09:38,108 --> 00:09:40,478
I'll just get up early
and do yoga.
217
00:09:40,546 --> 00:09:42,414
When did you start doing yoga?
218
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:43,682
When I moved back to Sheboygan.
219
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,919
Hey, you still take
that 6:30 class?
220
00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:48,552
Every morning.
Well...
221
00:09:48,620 --> 00:09:50,620
if you don't mind,
maybe I'll join you.
222
00:09:50,688 --> 00:09:54,425
Sure could use a good workout.
223
00:09:54,492 --> 00:09:56,026
Oh, God!
224
00:09:56,094 --> 00:09:57,560
Wilfred!
225
00:09:57,628 --> 00:09:59,528
Poor Sporty!
226
00:09:59,595 --> 00:10:01,095
Collateral damage.
227
00:10:01,163 --> 00:10:02,633
Oh.
228
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:05,068
Guess I'm sleeping on the floor.
229
00:10:05,136 --> 00:10:06,701
Or perhaps at a hotel.
230
00:10:06,769 --> 00:10:08,169
In Sheboygan.
231
00:10:08,236 --> 00:10:11,003
You can't sleep on the floor.
232
00:10:11,071 --> 00:10:13,502
You can sleep on my couch.
233
00:10:16,938 --> 00:10:19,407
How could you let this happen?!
234
00:10:19,475 --> 00:10:20,876
What are you talking about?
How could I...?
235
00:10:20,944 --> 00:10:22,708
Not you!
236
00:10:22,776 --> 00:10:25,012
I don't expect anything
from you.
237
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,582
You're just a puny human.
238
00:10:26,649 --> 00:10:28,316
I'm talking about me!
239
00:10:31,286 --> 00:10:34,024
Well, some god I am.
240
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:36,024
How the hell...
241
00:10:36,091 --> 00:10:37,990
did I not see this coming?
242
00:10:38,058 --> 00:10:39,524
Wilfred, calm down.
243
00:10:39,591 --> 00:10:42,295
My plan backfired, Ryan.
244
00:10:42,363 --> 00:10:46,267
She was yours.
245
00:10:46,334 --> 00:10:50,073
And I've thrown her right
back into Drew's arms.
246
00:10:50,140 --> 00:10:53,174
That's not gonna happen.
They're doing yoga tomorrow, Ryan.
247
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,072
Yoga!
248
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:57,006
Wilfred...!
249
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,110
Wilfred!
250
00:10:59,178 --> 00:11:02,213
My stupidity
251
00:11:02,281 --> 00:11:03,848
has cost you
252
00:11:03,916 --> 00:11:05,617
your happiness!
253
00:11:05,685 --> 00:11:07,452
I've failed!
254
00:11:09,322 --> 00:11:11,691
Wilfred, this isn't good for you.
255
00:11:11,759 --> 00:11:14,929
You don't get it, Ryan.
256
00:11:14,997 --> 00:11:16,967
I'm out of time.
257
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:20,602
I'm out of goddamn time
258
00:11:20,669 --> 00:11:22,970
and I've failed.
259
00:11:23,037 --> 00:11:24,737
I've failed you.
260
00:11:31,346 --> 00:11:34,082
Wilfred?
261
00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:37,956
Wilfred!
262
00:11:38,023 --> 00:11:40,656
Wilfred!
263
00:11:47,448 --> 00:11:50,717
Is he in any pain?
264
00:11:50,785 --> 00:11:53,387
Is there anything you can do?
265
00:11:53,454 --> 00:11:56,088
Some... steroid, or...
266
00:11:56,156 --> 00:11:59,424
I can give him something
to make him sleep.
267
00:12:20,044 --> 00:12:21,811
I love you, Wilfred.
268
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,217
No...
269
00:12:33,423 --> 00:12:34,858
It's okay.
270
00:12:34,926 --> 00:12:36,560
I'll stay here with him.
271
00:12:39,065 --> 00:12:40,600
Oh...
272
00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:43,941
You're a good boy, Wilfy.
273
00:12:55,054 --> 00:12:56,854
Does he know I'm here?
274
00:12:56,922 --> 00:12:58,857
I hope so.
275
00:13:01,257 --> 00:13:03,290
I'm really sorry for your loss.
276
00:13:26,876 --> 00:13:29,244
Wilfred,
277
00:13:29,312 --> 00:13:32,615
I don't know
if you can hear me...
278
00:13:32,683 --> 00:13:36,118
Yeah, I can hear you, mate.
279
00:13:36,186 --> 00:13:38,388
So this is how it ends.
280
00:13:38,456 --> 00:13:40,559
Afraid so.
281
00:13:40,626 --> 00:13:43,064
What am I gonna do without you?
282
00:13:43,132 --> 00:13:44,499
I guess that's up to you.
283
00:13:44,567 --> 00:13:45,901
But do me a favor.
284
00:13:45,969 --> 00:13:47,836
Have a good cry,
285
00:13:47,904 --> 00:13:49,370
get it all out,
286
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:51,538
then move on.
287
00:13:51,606 --> 00:13:54,308
Go be happy.
288
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:57,212
How can I be happy
without my best friend?
289
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,213
I know how you feel.
290
00:14:01,349 --> 00:14:04,050
I asked myself that same
question when Dennis died.
291
00:14:05,921 --> 00:14:09,488
Recognize this place?
292
00:14:09,556 --> 00:14:12,025
The-The painting.
293
00:14:12,093 --> 00:14:13,492
From the basement.
294
00:14:14,827 --> 00:14:18,230
Wilfred...
295
00:14:18,298 --> 00:14:19,698
is the basement...
296
00:14:19,766 --> 00:14:21,265
Heaven?
297
00:14:22,836 --> 00:14:23,937
What do you think?
298
00:14:25,376 --> 00:14:28,175
No.
299
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:31,178
Maybe.
300
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:32,646
I don't know what to think.
301
00:14:35,682 --> 00:14:38,284
Then stop thinking.
302
00:14:43,853 --> 00:14:45,221
All your questions
will be answered, Ryan.
303
00:14:45,289 --> 00:14:46,723
Eventually.
304
00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:48,358
But the big answers
305
00:14:48,426 --> 00:14:50,159
are like those missing kids
on the milk cartons.
306
00:14:50,227 --> 00:14:51,794
They don't want to be found.
307
00:14:51,862 --> 00:14:53,831
They'll turn up when
they're ready.
308
00:14:53,899 --> 00:14:55,664
I don't, I don't think
that's right-- they...
309
00:14:55,732 --> 00:14:57,199
It's time to stop digging, mate.
310
00:14:59,035 --> 00:15:00,303
Just be.
311
00:15:00,370 --> 00:15:02,906
Will I ever see you again?
312
00:15:06,242 --> 00:15:08,810
I have to move on.
313
00:15:08,878 --> 00:15:11,445
That's how Mataman rolls.
314
00:15:11,513 --> 00:15:14,048
So you really are a god?
315
00:15:14,116 --> 00:15:17,018
Ryan, do you really
think a guy like you
316
00:15:17,086 --> 00:15:18,620
could get a girl like Jenna
317
00:15:18,688 --> 00:15:20,190
without divine intervention?
318
00:15:20,257 --> 00:15:22,360
Yeah, I'm a god.
319
00:15:22,427 --> 00:15:24,929
You're welcome, by the way.
320
00:15:24,997 --> 00:15:26,630
Thanks, Wilfred.
321
00:15:28,299 --> 00:15:29,633
For everything.
322
00:15:29,701 --> 00:15:31,636
It's been my privilege.
323
00:15:33,773 --> 00:15:35,973
And you're gonna
do fine without me.
324
00:15:39,777 --> 00:15:42,511
I'm done, mate.
325
00:15:42,578 --> 00:15:44,347
You hold on to that.
326
00:16:28,203 --> 00:16:29,770
Need any Stevia for your house?
327
00:16:29,838 --> 00:16:31,372
I'm good.
328
00:16:31,439 --> 00:16:33,607
Six bucks for two cups
of coffee.
329
00:16:33,674 --> 00:16:35,341
At that price, I should've taken
330
00:16:35,409 --> 00:16:36,875
the half-and-half
pitcher, too.
331
00:16:40,112 --> 00:16:42,681
You must really miss him.
332
00:16:42,749 --> 00:16:44,917
Only every second.
333
00:16:44,984 --> 00:16:46,551
I remember when Sneakers died,
334
00:16:46,619 --> 00:16:48,921
you stayed in bed
for three whole days.
335
00:16:48,989 --> 00:16:51,091
I never thought I could
love another dog more.
336
00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:53,864
But you did. So...
337
00:16:53,932 --> 00:16:55,865
maybe you should
get another one.
338
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,232
Wilfred was...
339
00:16:57,300 --> 00:16:59,067
special.
340
00:16:59,135 --> 00:17:01,071
I could never replace him.
341
00:17:01,138 --> 00:17:03,575
And Jenna would see it as
a huge act of betrayal.
342
00:17:03,643 --> 00:17:05,609
How's she holding up?
343
00:17:05,677 --> 00:17:07,846
She's inconsolable.
344
00:17:07,914 --> 00:17:09,482
Crying nonstop.
345
00:17:09,550 --> 00:17:12,252
She and Drew are signing
their divorce papers now.
346
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:16,054
Hope theirs goes down
better than mine did.
347
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:18,090
In other news, I got a job.
348
00:17:18,157 --> 00:17:19,824
Going back to medicine.
349
00:17:19,892 --> 00:17:21,825
Really? That's great.
350
00:17:21,893 --> 00:17:24,697
It's for a free clinic, so I'll
only be treating poor people.
351
00:17:26,632 --> 00:17:28,866
But on the plus side,
at least I'll be around people
352
00:17:28,934 --> 00:17:31,202
more miserable than I am.
353
00:17:34,507 --> 00:17:37,277
Oh, my God.
354
00:17:37,345 --> 00:17:38,910
What you got there?
355
00:17:42,612 --> 00:17:46,285
Why, this here is, uh, is Jordy.
356
00:17:46,352 --> 00:17:48,989
I'll, uh, I'll go
take him for a walk.
357
00:17:51,994 --> 00:17:53,496
Already?
358
00:17:53,563 --> 00:17:55,066
Uh...
359
00:17:55,134 --> 00:17:56,969
Drew got him this morning.
360
00:17:57,036 --> 00:17:59,236
So it's his dog.
361
00:18:01,406 --> 00:18:03,309
We're gonna raise him together.
362
00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:07,348
I-I don't understand.
363
00:18:07,416 --> 00:18:10,688
We couldn't sign
the papers, Ryan.
364
00:18:10,756 --> 00:18:13,089
This week has been
so awful, and...
365
00:18:13,156 --> 00:18:14,590
and Drew's been so great.
366
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,960
You told me you needed
some time alone,
367
00:18:17,028 --> 00:18:19,328
so I stayed away.
368
00:18:19,396 --> 00:18:21,662
I-I didn't try to fix you.
I know,
369
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,295
and I thought that's
what I wanted, but...
370
00:18:23,363 --> 00:18:24,529
I can't believe this.
371
00:18:24,597 --> 00:18:26,233
Drew and I have
a history together, and
372
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,865
most of that history
is really good. It...
373
00:18:28,933 --> 00:18:31,000
it just got bad
when we came to L.A.
374
00:18:31,068 --> 00:18:32,435
What about the mask?
375
00:18:32,502 --> 00:18:34,369
What about being
who you really are?
376
00:18:34,437 --> 00:18:36,539
I-I overstated that.
377
00:18:36,606 --> 00:18:39,041
It's-It's not true.
Yes, it is.
378
00:18:39,109 --> 00:18:40,670
I think that's maybe
the only true thing
379
00:18:40,711 --> 00:18:42,778
you've ever said to me.
380
00:18:42,846 --> 00:18:44,580
I know you're hurt...
381
00:18:44,647 --> 00:18:47,249
You said you were finally
finding yourself with me.
382
00:18:47,316 --> 00:18:48,883
Why don't you want that anymore?
383
00:18:50,453 --> 00:18:52,622
You don't understand.
No.
384
00:18:52,689 --> 00:18:54,824
You know what?
I think I do.
385
00:18:54,892 --> 00:18:56,760
I think I finally get it.
386
00:18:56,828 --> 00:18:58,962
I'm in love with a fantasy.
387
00:18:59,030 --> 00:19:01,264
That-That smiley,
bubbly persona
388
00:19:01,332 --> 00:19:02,732
is just bullshit.
389
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,402
Y-You want to run back
to Wisconsin
390
00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:07,373
and play it safe
instead of taking a risk
391
00:19:07,441 --> 00:19:09,677
and maybe finding
real happiness.
392
00:19:11,916 --> 00:19:13,351
I'm sorry.
393
00:19:13,419 --> 00:19:16,189
Me, too.
394
00:19:16,257 --> 00:19:18,593
I'm sorry for you.
395
00:19:24,166 --> 00:19:25,334
Hey, Ryan...?
396
00:20:08,854 --> 00:20:11,155
- Really Really!
- Ryan, don't.
397
00:20:12,323 --> 00:20:15,457
Merry Christmas, everybody.
398
00:20:40,343 --> 00:20:48,813
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com