1 00:00:03,987 --> 00:00:06,723 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 2 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:10,526 ♪ I got a feeling that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 3 00:00:10,561 --> 00:00:13,563 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 4 00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:18,000 ♪ And he's shining a salute to the American race ♪ 5 00:00:19,903 --> 00:00:23,272 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 6 00:00:23,307 --> 00:00:25,274 ♪ Good... ♪ ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 7 00:00:25,309 --> 00:00:26,809 Aah! 8 00:00:28,112 --> 00:00:31,514 ♪ Good morning, USA! ♪ 9 00:00:40,009 --> 00:00:51,277 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com web dl sync snarry 10 00:01:00,411 --> 00:01:03,547 Hey, Mick! You damn drunk, wake up. 11 00:01:03,581 --> 00:01:04,881 Wha...? 12 00:01:04,916 --> 00:01:06,883 Morning. It's 6:00 a.m., 13 00:01:06,918 --> 00:01:10,186 and I can legally sell you alcohol again. 14 00:01:10,221 --> 00:01:12,355 You'll always have a place to drink here, 15 00:01:12,390 --> 00:01:14,758 you degenerate scumbag. 16 00:01:17,295 --> 00:01:19,362 I'm with Beezus on this one, guys. 17 00:01:19,397 --> 00:01:21,998 Ramona went into her room. No permission! 18 00:01:22,033 --> 00:01:24,601 The sign said, "Do Not Enter." 19 00:01:24,635 --> 00:01:26,069 Do not enter... 20 00:01:26,103 --> 00:01:28,071 the kingdom of heaven! 21 00:01:28,105 --> 00:01:30,807 Beezus is a Christ figure! Her name rhymes with Jesus. 22 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,042 It's right there! 23 00:01:35,780 --> 00:01:37,180 Oh, hi. 24 00:01:38,216 --> 00:01:39,583 Girl shoulders! 25 00:01:39,617 --> 00:01:41,117 I'm Charlotte. 26 00:01:41,152 --> 00:01:42,752 I-I just moved here. 27 00:01:42,787 --> 00:01:44,888 This is a bit embarrassing... 28 00:01:44,922 --> 00:01:47,257 but I'm required to go door-to-door 29 00:01:47,291 --> 00:01:50,327 to notify all my new neighbors that I'm a registered... 30 00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,562 sex offender. 31 00:01:52,597 --> 00:01:53,964 Where are you registered, 32 00:01:53,998 --> 00:01:56,066 and what have you still not received? 33 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:58,835 Wait. A-Are you saying you did stuff... 34 00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,403 with boys? 35 00:02:00,438 --> 00:02:01,538 Yeah. 36 00:02:01,572 --> 00:02:04,207 Like, an insane amount of stuff. 37 00:02:11,749 --> 00:02:14,417 I just want to say I won't be any trouble. 38 00:02:14,452 --> 00:02:17,187 I mostly just stay home and watch the Spice Channel 39 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:20,957 and Cartoon Network, so if you guys ever want to come... 40 00:02:20,992 --> 00:02:22,158 No. No, Charlotte! 41 00:02:22,193 --> 00:02:23,894 Bad Charlotte! 42 00:02:23,928 --> 00:02:25,128 I'm sorry. 43 00:02:25,162 --> 00:02:27,163 I-I should go. 44 00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:30,867 Oh, my God, do you know what this means? 45 00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:32,903 We're gonna get laid! 46 00:02:32,937 --> 00:02:36,006 And the Spice Channel is still profitable! 47 00:02:42,313 --> 00:02:45,949 We got a... we got a big problem here, Roger. 48 00:02:45,983 --> 00:02:48,652 Well, your problem keeps my lights on, Mick. 49 00:02:48,686 --> 00:02:51,221 Oh, crap. Betsy! Keg change! 50 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:53,056 Where is that damn girl? 51 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,157 Bets! 52 00:02:54,191 --> 00:02:56,159 Hey, uh, can I use your bathroom? 53 00:02:56,193 --> 00:02:57,928 It's for customers only. Well, no, right, 54 00:02:57,962 --> 00:02:59,329 I'm totally gonna get some food. 55 00:02:59,363 --> 00:03:01,731 I just got to think about my order in the bathroom. 56 00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:03,400 I said it's for customers only! 57 00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:05,635 Now what? 58 00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:08,104 Just a sec on that refill. 59 00:03:08,139 --> 00:03:10,707 Hey, Roger, I'm going to yoga. You want to come? 60 00:03:10,741 --> 00:03:13,009 They might play your favorite song. 61 00:03:13,044 --> 00:03:16,880 Om... om... om... 62 00:03:16,914 --> 00:03:18,949 Sorry, Francine, I'm working. 63 00:03:18,983 --> 00:03:20,951 But I thought you had today off. 64 00:03:20,985 --> 00:03:23,787 There are no days off when you're running a dive bar. 65 00:03:23,821 --> 00:03:26,122 Roger, you can't keep going at this pace. 66 00:03:26,157 --> 00:03:28,124 You're on your feet all day. 67 00:03:28,159 --> 00:03:30,126 You've probably got varicose veins. 68 00:03:30,161 --> 00:03:31,494 My veins are fine. 69 00:03:33,364 --> 00:03:34,884 I hope you don't mind me interrupting, 70 00:03:34,899 --> 00:03:37,667 but there is an alternative to all this hard work. 71 00:03:37,702 --> 00:03:40,136 If this a pyramid scheme, don't say another word, 72 00:03:40,171 --> 00:03:41,738 because I am in. 73 00:03:41,772 --> 00:03:44,341 No. It's just that for a third-floor bar 74 00:03:44,375 --> 00:03:46,910 only accessible after passing through a residential home, 75 00:03:46,944 --> 00:03:48,845 you do a pretty brisk business. 76 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,747 And if you're willing to sell, 77 00:03:50,781 --> 00:03:52,816 my company would be very interested. 78 00:03:52,850 --> 00:03:54,084 Sell? 79 00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:56,019 Sorry, what'd you say your name was? 80 00:03:56,053 --> 00:03:57,654 Toby. Of course it is. 81 00:03:57,688 --> 00:04:00,690 Look, Toby, there's only two things for sale here: 82 00:04:00,725 --> 00:04:02,225 a sense of community 83 00:04:02,260 --> 00:04:05,529 and the credit card information of people who pass out. 84 00:04:07,198 --> 00:04:08,698 Hey, I see you with that TP! 85 00:04:13,304 --> 00:04:15,705 I'll cut off your hands, you thief! 86 00:04:15,740 --> 00:04:18,708 Roger, try to take it easy. 87 00:04:18,743 --> 00:04:20,644 I'd love to chat, Franny, but I'm swamped 88 00:04:20,678 --> 00:04:22,112 and I got to find Betsy. 89 00:04:22,146 --> 00:04:23,813 I think she's dipping in the till. 90 00:04:23,848 --> 00:04:26,416 I ain't till-dippin'! It was Clarence the Goat. 91 00:04:29,453 --> 00:04:31,421 He says he paid for that salad. 92 00:04:31,455 --> 00:04:34,424 So, once again, it's my word against his! 93 00:04:40,231 --> 00:04:43,300 Okay, fellas, this is Charlotte's place. 94 00:04:43,334 --> 00:04:44,968 Barry, toss this Frisbee into her backyard, 95 00:04:45,002 --> 00:04:47,370 so we'll have an excuse to knock on her door. 96 00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:49,039 Sports! 97 00:04:51,742 --> 00:04:53,710 Okay. 98 00:04:55,746 --> 00:04:57,314 Oh. Hello. 99 00:04:57,348 --> 00:04:59,015 Oh, Charlotte! What a surprise. 100 00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:01,351 We were just playing catch, and my friend here 101 00:05:01,385 --> 00:05:03,253 accidentally threw your neighbor's New York Times 102 00:05:03,287 --> 00:05:04,754 into your yard. 103 00:05:04,789 --> 00:05:06,489 I'm sorry for the mess. 104 00:05:06,524 --> 00:05:08,391 I still haven't found a gardener. 105 00:05:08,426 --> 00:05:11,127 Do you boys know anyone willing to pick up a hoe 106 00:05:11,162 --> 00:05:12,996 and just go to town? 107 00:05:13,030 --> 00:05:15,599 Charlotte, careful. 108 00:05:15,633 --> 00:05:18,068 Well, maybe we can be of service. 109 00:05:18,102 --> 00:05:21,671 Okay. But it's just work, nothing else. 110 00:05:21,706 --> 00:05:25,308 Just you and your smooth, hungry hands 111 00:05:25,343 --> 00:05:28,445 rooting around in my backyard! 112 00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:35,519 I see you. I'm coming with those pretzels. 113 00:05:35,553 --> 00:05:38,088 Hole's jammed again. 114 00:05:38,122 --> 00:05:40,056 Tuna Can Jerry? 115 00:05:40,091 --> 00:05:42,058 Yeah, Tuna Can Jerry. 116 00:05:42,093 --> 00:05:44,227 All right, let me get my tools. 117 00:05:44,262 --> 00:05:47,197 And I just need you to sign here. 118 00:05:47,231 --> 00:05:50,200 Whoa. Ted, these prices are double what they were last week. 119 00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,701 I see you back there! 120 00:05:52,904 --> 00:05:54,804 Wait, this isn't even what I ordered. 121 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:57,174 Yeah, well, all I got is this artisanal microbrew 122 00:05:57,208 --> 00:05:58,742 from the Finger Lakes. 123 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,277 Apricot wheat?! 124 00:06:00,311 --> 00:06:02,512 Tuna Can Jerry's late for his rehearsal dinner! 125 00:06:02,547 --> 00:06:04,214 Hey! How about them pretzels! 126 00:06:04,248 --> 00:06:05,816 Never gonna catch me! 127 00:06:06,984 --> 00:06:08,685 Apricot wheat?! 128 00:06:08,719 --> 00:06:10,187 My heart! 129 00:06:10,221 --> 00:06:11,822 Oh, my God! Roger, are you okay? 130 00:06:11,856 --> 00:06:13,523 Keep an eye on Betsy. 131 00:06:13,558 --> 00:06:15,559 She's definitely stealing from the till. 132 00:06:15,593 --> 00:06:16,827 No, I ain't. 133 00:06:16,861 --> 00:06:19,095 I'm tired of you accusing my wife of stealing! 134 00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:21,331 Meet me in the parking lot in five minutes! 135 00:06:21,365 --> 00:06:25,135 Stop watching me switch characters, and call an ambulance! 136 00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,775 Roger, you're awake. 137 00:06:31,809 --> 00:06:33,910 Mr. Smith, please, stay in bed. 138 00:06:33,945 --> 00:06:36,012 But I need to get back to the bar! 139 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:37,414 You need to rest. 140 00:06:37,448 --> 00:06:39,216 That bar gave you a heart attack. 141 00:06:39,250 --> 00:06:43,520 And if you keep up this pace, the next one'll be your last. 142 00:06:44,889 --> 00:06:46,356 Don't leave us, Nana. 143 00:06:46,390 --> 00:06:48,358 Do you mind keeping it down? 144 00:06:48,392 --> 00:06:49,893 Ugh! Francine, just close the curtain. 145 00:06:49,927 --> 00:06:53,063 I can tell by looking at them that they're the type to nod 146 00:06:53,097 --> 00:06:55,165 like they understand, and then go right... 147 00:06:55,199 --> 00:06:56,867 back... to talking. 148 00:06:56,901 --> 00:06:59,369 Roger, I brought someone to see you. 149 00:06:59,403 --> 00:07:00,670 Toby? 150 00:07:00,705 --> 00:07:02,873 I'm not selling the bar! You better... 151 00:07:06,144 --> 00:07:08,311 Aah! This is oxygen, not nitrous! 152 00:07:08,346 --> 00:07:11,014 You see that oxygen spit take? First one to do it. 153 00:07:11,048 --> 00:07:13,116 At death's door, still a trailblazer. 154 00:07:13,151 --> 00:07:14,951 Roger, it's time. 155 00:07:14,986 --> 00:07:16,620 Sell the bar. 156 00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:19,589 You have so much more life to look forward to. 157 00:07:19,624 --> 00:07:21,558 You'll carry on my vision, right? 158 00:07:21,592 --> 00:07:23,393 The seatless toilet bowls? 159 00:07:23,427 --> 00:07:25,262 The condom machine that eats quarters? 160 00:07:25,296 --> 00:07:27,097 The homemade liquor license? 161 00:07:27,131 --> 00:07:28,598 That dripping sound? 162 00:07:28,633 --> 00:07:31,802 Roger, your vision is what I'm buying. 163 00:07:42,914 --> 00:07:45,816 I guess this is it. 164 00:08:07,905 --> 00:08:10,273 If you don't get that dead lady out of my room, 165 00:08:10,308 --> 00:08:13,744 you are gonna have what I would refer to as a "Yelp Disaster." 166 00:08:29,514 --> 00:08:31,615 Whoa, Roger, you made breakfast? 167 00:08:31,650 --> 00:08:33,484 Sit, sit. I made eggs, 168 00:08:33,518 --> 00:08:36,353 coffee and breakfast pork chops for you, Stan. 169 00:08:36,388 --> 00:08:37,755 He did. I saw it. 170 00:08:37,789 --> 00:08:39,390 I see everything. 171 00:08:39,424 --> 00:08:42,293 Everything. 172 00:08:44,296 --> 00:08:47,698 Roger, your heart. You should be taking it slow. 173 00:08:47,733 --> 00:08:50,201 Nonsense. Just because I no longer own my bar 174 00:08:50,235 --> 00:08:51,969 doesn't mean I can't serve. 175 00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:54,472 So, Roger, any plans now that you're retired? 176 00:08:54,506 --> 00:08:56,907 Well, I've got a list of everything I'd like to do 177 00:08:56,942 --> 00:08:59,643 from now until I die neatly filed in a bucket. 178 00:08:59,678 --> 00:09:02,246 Still working on a name for this bucket index. 179 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,348 "Basket index" is the working title. 180 00:09:04,382 --> 00:09:07,518 Mmm! Oh, whoa, everything's delicious! 181 00:09:07,552 --> 00:09:08,853 Thanks. 182 00:09:08,887 --> 00:09:10,588 Okay, off to work. 183 00:09:10,622 --> 00:09:11,922 Oh. Okay. 184 00:09:11,957 --> 00:09:13,491 Yeah, thanks for breakfast, Roger. 185 00:09:13,525 --> 00:09:15,726 I got to get the kids to school. 186 00:09:15,761 --> 00:09:17,328 Klaus, why don't you come along? 187 00:09:17,362 --> 00:09:20,197 I'm in the mood for one of your classic anecdotes. 188 00:09:20,232 --> 00:09:22,199 Oh, did I ever tell you about the time 189 00:09:22,234 --> 00:09:24,468 I bounced a check for my girlfriend's abortion? 190 00:09:24,503 --> 00:09:26,771 They had to put the baby back in. 191 00:09:26,805 --> 00:09:28,372 And that baby... 192 00:09:28,407 --> 00:09:30,408 was Shia LaBeouf. 193 00:09:31,576 --> 00:09:35,079 I said I wanted to hear it in the car. 194 00:09:37,916 --> 00:09:40,317 New life, here we go. 195 00:09:41,953 --> 00:09:44,288 Okay, first thing: meditation. 196 00:09:44,322 --> 00:09:47,024 Just got to close my eyes, clear my head, 197 00:09:47,059 --> 00:09:49,393 and find my quiet place. 198 00:09:52,631 --> 00:09:54,398 I'll come back to that one. 199 00:09:56,268 --> 00:09:58,936 Great call on these Speedos, Snot. 200 00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:02,139 The mere sight of us must be driving Charlotte crazy. 201 00:10:04,843 --> 00:10:06,043 What do we do?! 202 00:10:06,078 --> 00:10:08,479 What pool boys do best. 203 00:10:29,701 --> 00:10:32,737 Wow! The pool looks great! 204 00:10:32,771 --> 00:10:34,805 I really owe you guys. 205 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:38,442 I'm gonna owe you so hard. 206 00:10:38,477 --> 00:10:42,680 Well, when you boys are done out here, why don't you, um... 207 00:10:42,714 --> 00:10:45,683 meet me upstairs. 208 00:10:45,717 --> 00:10:47,885 Gentlemen, we are in. 209 00:10:47,919 --> 00:10:49,887 All right! The Speedos worked! 210 00:10:49,921 --> 00:10:52,790 But you got to give them back so I can return them 211 00:10:52,824 --> 00:10:54,358 to my bisexual uncle's loft 212 00:10:54,393 --> 00:10:58,329 before he gets home from his vacation in Croatia. 213 00:10:58,363 --> 00:11:02,133 Yup, he's pretty worldly. 214 00:11:07,606 --> 00:11:09,306 Sounds like they're having fun. 215 00:11:09,341 --> 00:11:12,777 I guess there's no reason why I can't go up there. 216 00:11:15,380 --> 00:11:18,015 What the hell did they do?! 217 00:11:18,050 --> 00:11:20,851 Hi. We've got a bit of a wait, but feel free 218 00:11:20,886 --> 00:11:23,754 to look at some of the crazy stuff on our walls. 219 00:11:23,789 --> 00:11:25,923 Ski poles from around the world? 220 00:11:25,957 --> 00:11:27,858 Even I'm getting hungry! 221 00:11:31,296 --> 00:11:32,930 Hey, look who it is! 222 00:11:32,964 --> 00:11:35,199 What have you done to my bar?! 223 00:11:35,233 --> 00:11:36,801 Everything's different. 224 00:11:38,670 --> 00:11:39,770 Well, not everything. 225 00:11:39,805 --> 00:11:41,672 We kept the spirit of a dive bar, 226 00:11:41,707 --> 00:11:44,008 but got rid of the smell and the hopelessness 227 00:11:44,042 --> 00:11:46,210 and the guy showing his joint to all the waitresses. 228 00:11:46,244 --> 00:11:48,612 But that was Mick, my most loyal barfly! 229 00:11:48,647 --> 00:11:50,147 What are you doing here anyway? 230 00:11:50,182 --> 00:11:52,650 If I were you, I'd be out there living life, 231 00:11:52,684 --> 00:11:54,452 crossing everything off my bucket list. 232 00:11:54,486 --> 00:11:55,720 My what? 233 00:11:55,754 --> 00:11:57,188 Ha! You're on fire today! 234 00:11:57,222 --> 00:11:59,490 Here, let me show you the new game room. 235 00:11:59,524 --> 00:12:01,425 You have a game room?! 236 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,028 What the hell? 237 00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:07,865 My mom's new boyfriend said I was too annoying 238 00:12:07,899 --> 00:12:09,533 to take to the lake. 239 00:12:09,568 --> 00:12:11,769 To take anywhere, I would say. 240 00:12:11,803 --> 00:12:13,838 Being pushed out of my own bar is worse 241 00:12:13,872 --> 00:12:15,639 than a thousand heart attacks. 242 00:12:15,674 --> 00:12:17,875 It's also worse than 10,000 Maniacs. 243 00:12:17,909 --> 00:12:19,377 But just barely. 244 00:12:19,411 --> 00:12:20,978 I think that's an old reference. 245 00:12:21,013 --> 00:12:23,948 Roger, if selling your bar is bothering you this much, 246 00:12:23,982 --> 00:12:25,983 maybe you should try to buy it back. 247 00:12:26,018 --> 00:12:27,585 Oh, my God, I totally should. 248 00:12:27,619 --> 00:12:31,522 I'll buy the bar and put it back the way it's supposed to be! 249 00:12:31,556 --> 00:12:33,724 It's the third house on the left. 250 00:12:33,759 --> 00:12:36,627 This is your house? 251 00:12:36,662 --> 00:12:39,096 Roger, I don't think we should leave him here. 252 00:12:39,131 --> 00:12:40,865 He'll be fine. There's police everywhere. 253 00:12:40,899 --> 00:12:42,566 Plus, he's got a snorkel. 254 00:12:43,802 --> 00:12:46,237 Drive. Drive! The door will shut on its own. 255 00:12:47,239 --> 00:12:48,873 It's not closing. 256 00:12:48,907 --> 00:12:51,342 I don't know. Maybe you got to turn or something. 257 00:12:51,376 --> 00:12:52,510 Well, don't slow down. 258 00:12:52,544 --> 00:12:53,824 Forget it, forget it, just drive. 259 00:12:53,845 --> 00:12:55,546 It's not hurting anybody. 260 00:12:57,082 --> 00:12:59,884 Mick, what are you doing out here? 261 00:12:59,918 --> 00:13:02,053 They won't let me in the bar, Rog! 262 00:13:02,087 --> 00:13:03,821 Well, this changes now. 263 00:13:03,855 --> 00:13:05,289 You will be served again. 264 00:13:05,324 --> 00:13:06,657 Thank you, Roger. You're welcome. 265 00:13:06,692 --> 00:13:07,825 Thank you. Of course. 266 00:13:07,859 --> 00:13:09,727 Thank you so much. I said, you're welcome. 267 00:13:09,761 --> 00:13:11,495 Seriously, thank you. Okay, Mick, I'm gonna go take care of this. 268 00:13:11,530 --> 00:13:12,930 I can't thank you enough. Can't fix it until you let go, Mick. 269 00:13:12,965 --> 00:13:14,365 For real, muchas gracias. I mean it. Look at me. 270 00:13:14,399 --> 00:13:15,733 While I'm still here, I'm not inside fixing it. 271 00:13:15,767 --> 00:13:17,687 From the bottom of my heart. Please let go, Mick. 272 00:13:21,206 --> 00:13:23,774 Toby! You've destroyed my vision! 273 00:13:23,809 --> 00:13:25,109 I'm here to buy you out 274 00:13:25,143 --> 00:13:26,944 and put everything back to the way it was! 275 00:13:26,979 --> 00:13:29,146 Oh. Shoot, that's too bad, 276 00:13:29,181 --> 00:13:32,750 because we're expanding Roger's Spot nationwide, 277 00:13:32,784 --> 00:13:35,486 and we wanted your beautiful mug to be the face of the company. 278 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,788 Right, that's what we're doing. Why? What did I say? 279 00:13:37,823 --> 00:13:39,023 Thank you, Toby. Yeah, you're welcome. 280 00:13:39,057 --> 00:13:40,191 Thank you. Of course. 281 00:13:40,225 --> 00:13:41,392 Thank you so much. Said, you're welcome. 282 00:13:41,426 --> 00:13:42,860 Seriously, thank you. Okay, Roger, no problem. 283 00:13:42,894 --> 00:13:44,695 I can't thank you enough. You got to let go of my hand. 284 00:13:44,730 --> 00:13:45,930 I got a business to run. For real, muchas gracias. 285 00:13:45,964 --> 00:13:47,298 Again, thank you from the bottom of my heart. 286 00:13:47,332 --> 00:13:49,533 Roger, Roger, Roger, I can't expand it until you let go! 287 00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:54,586 What do you guys want for dinner tonight? Pizza? 288 00:13:54,706 --> 00:13:55,840 Boring. 289 00:13:55,874 --> 00:13:58,042 I want to go somewhere cool but sad. 290 00:13:58,076 --> 00:13:59,510 Yeah, like a dive bar. 291 00:13:59,544 --> 00:14:00,978 Oh, Mommy, can we? 292 00:14:01,013 --> 00:14:02,346 Well, it sounds like 293 00:14:02,381 --> 00:14:05,549 this family could use a little walk on the wild side. 294 00:14:05,584 --> 00:14:07,585 Then come on down to Roger's Spot! 295 00:14:07,619 --> 00:14:11,222 America's only family-friendly dive bar experience! 296 00:14:11,256 --> 00:14:14,025 Pretend you're a barfly by resting your weary rump 297 00:14:14,059 --> 00:14:16,560 on Old Mick's stool. 298 00:14:16,595 --> 00:14:18,029 That's apple juice. 299 00:14:18,063 --> 00:14:19,297 Or is it? 300 00:14:19,331 --> 00:14:21,365 It is. I have to say that. 301 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,100 And there's never a dull moment 302 00:14:23,135 --> 00:14:26,070 with bar fights every hour on the hour. 303 00:14:26,104 --> 00:14:28,239 You showered with my wife! 304 00:14:29,775 --> 00:14:31,175 Roger's Spot. 305 00:14:31,209 --> 00:14:35,279 I'm Roger, and I'm famous for saying, "Dive on in!" 306 00:14:36,648 --> 00:14:37,982 Hey, look at you 307 00:14:38,016 --> 00:14:40,117 sitting there on the couch, looking all fetching. 308 00:14:40,152 --> 00:14:42,119 Makes me want to dive on in! 309 00:14:42,154 --> 00:14:43,521 Roger, you're home now. 310 00:14:43,555 --> 00:14:45,623 You don't have to say, "Dive on in." 311 00:14:45,657 --> 00:14:47,825 Sorry. After 300 ribbon cuttings, 312 00:14:47,859 --> 00:14:50,027 it's a little hard to turn off. Dive on in. 313 00:14:50,062 --> 00:14:51,495 Roger, it was one thing 314 00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:54,832 when you were working yourself to death for the bar you loved. 315 00:14:54,866 --> 00:14:56,934 But now you're just wearing yourself out 316 00:14:56,969 --> 00:14:59,303 promoting something that you don't even believe in. 317 00:14:59,338 --> 00:15:01,439 Francine, relax, have a drink. 318 00:15:01,473 --> 00:15:02,773 Dive on in. 319 00:15:02,808 --> 00:15:04,342 Roger... 320 00:15:04,376 --> 00:15:06,210 Francine, if I was doing the wrong thing, 321 00:15:06,245 --> 00:15:08,546 would they have invited me to be the keynote speaker 322 00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:10,448 at this year's Emerging Titans of Industry 323 00:15:10,482 --> 00:15:12,450 Corporate SynergyFest? 324 00:15:12,484 --> 00:15:14,118 I-I don't know what that is. 325 00:15:14,152 --> 00:15:16,120 And why would you? 326 00:15:16,154 --> 00:15:17,922 That's my limo now. 327 00:15:17,956 --> 00:15:20,024 Different from the one that dropped me off. 328 00:15:20,058 --> 00:15:22,293 Nicer, more promiscuous driver. 329 00:15:22,327 --> 00:15:24,328 Oh, and Francine? Don't say it. 330 00:15:30,302 --> 00:15:31,569 Dive on in. 331 00:15:34,106 --> 00:15:36,107 I've applied a bed of thin-set, 332 00:15:36,141 --> 00:15:39,644 so I'm gonna go ahead and lay quarter-inch backer boards. 333 00:15:39,678 --> 00:15:42,180 Great. I'll get going on the grout work. 334 00:15:42,214 --> 00:15:44,215 Nice, Barry. 335 00:15:44,249 --> 00:15:46,484 Charlotte's gonna love that clean cutting. 336 00:15:46,518 --> 00:15:47,852 Thanks, boss. 337 00:15:47,886 --> 00:15:50,421 Hey, Tosh, county still dragging their feet on the permits? 338 00:15:53,659 --> 00:15:56,427 Offering to remodel Charlotte's bedroom 339 00:15:56,461 --> 00:15:58,296 is a real stroke of genius. 340 00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:00,798 She's gonna want us so bad. 341 00:16:00,833 --> 00:16:04,635 Wow, this room looks really great! 342 00:16:06,271 --> 00:16:09,674 Oh. When you're done, come find me so I can... 343 00:16:09,708 --> 00:16:12,376 show you my appreciation. 344 00:16:14,246 --> 00:16:15,913 Told you this would work. 345 00:16:15,948 --> 00:16:17,648 Now, let's talk batting order. 346 00:16:17,683 --> 00:16:19,684 I call last! 347 00:16:27,826 --> 00:16:29,427 Hey, Roger! 348 00:16:29,461 --> 00:16:30,928 Nobody touches Mr. Smith. 349 00:16:30,963 --> 00:16:32,363 Oh, no, no. No, it's okay. 350 00:16:32,397 --> 00:16:34,298 Mick is a friend from before the money. 351 00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:35,533 How you doing, Mick? 352 00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,968 You come to see me speak? 353 00:16:37,002 --> 00:16:40,037 No, I... I'm here for my AA meeting. 354 00:16:40,072 --> 00:16:41,939 Sober? That can't be. 355 00:16:41,974 --> 00:16:44,075 Mick, that's not who you are. You're a barfly! 356 00:16:44,109 --> 00:16:45,276 Well, the good news is, 357 00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:47,245 the state's gonna let me see my daughter 358 00:16:47,279 --> 00:16:48,913 for the first time in seven years. 359 00:16:48,947 --> 00:16:50,548 How is that good news? 360 00:16:50,582 --> 00:16:52,483 It's go time, Roger. 361 00:16:52,518 --> 00:16:56,187 And now, let's welcome to the stage the founder 362 00:16:56,221 --> 00:17:00,725 and a partial profit participant of Roger's Spot, Roger Smith! 363 00:17:04,463 --> 00:17:06,030 Thanks, Linda. I'm Jeff. 364 00:17:06,064 --> 00:17:07,398 And I said thanks. 365 00:17:07,432 --> 00:17:09,066 Okay, people, are you ready to... 366 00:17:09,101 --> 00:17:11,202 dive... on... in? 367 00:17:12,838 --> 00:17:14,705 I love your sliders! 368 00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:16,107 I can tell. 369 00:17:17,543 --> 00:17:21,012 Betty Crocker, Famous Amos, John DeLorean. 370 00:17:21,046 --> 00:17:22,847 What do they have in common? 371 00:17:22,881 --> 00:17:24,582 They're all entrepreneurs 372 00:17:24,616 --> 00:17:27,118 whose stories I haven't fully researched. 373 00:17:27,152 --> 00:17:29,854 You know, Roger's Spot wasn't always one of America's 374 00:17:29,888 --> 00:17:33,458 highest revenue-generating, casual-dining experiences. 375 00:17:33,492 --> 00:17:35,526 It actually started out as the kind of place 376 00:17:35,561 --> 00:17:39,197 where you could trade your child-support check for booze. 377 00:17:40,566 --> 00:17:42,900 Hey, Mick's here! Mick, stand up. 378 00:17:44,937 --> 00:17:46,904 Mick was there at the beginning of the dream. 379 00:17:46,939 --> 00:17:49,607 You may know him from the stool at all of our locations. 380 00:17:51,410 --> 00:17:53,311 But you probably don't, 381 00:17:53,345 --> 00:17:56,981 because in all 480 locations, it's just a stool. 382 00:17:57,015 --> 00:17:58,883 Corporate banned Mick. 383 00:18:02,121 --> 00:18:04,222 That's right. You lost your home 384 00:18:04,256 --> 00:18:06,591 when we became Roger's Spot, didn't you, Mick? 385 00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:08,626 Yeah, but it's all for the best. 386 00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:10,661 Shut up, Mick. That's just the clarity talking. 387 00:18:10,696 --> 00:18:12,630 You were passionate about drinking, 388 00:18:12,664 --> 00:18:14,832 just like I was passionate about running my bar. 389 00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:16,601 Do "Dive on in"! 390 00:18:16,635 --> 00:18:19,070 No. No, I won't do, "Dive on in"! 391 00:18:19,104 --> 00:18:20,605 Dive on in. 392 00:18:20,639 --> 00:18:22,406 Because that was never my catchphrase. 393 00:18:22,441 --> 00:18:24,709 My actual catchphrase at the time was, 394 00:18:24,743 --> 00:18:26,878 "Let's get rowdy rowdy!" 395 00:18:26,912 --> 00:18:29,247 It was incredibly unpopular, but I said it anyway, 396 00:18:29,281 --> 00:18:31,249 because a bunch of drunks aren't gonna tell me 397 00:18:31,283 --> 00:18:32,984 what I can say in my own place! 398 00:18:35,988 --> 00:18:38,289 Yeah, the people in the Jasmine Ballroom get it. 399 00:18:38,323 --> 00:18:39,791 I guess what I'm saying is, 400 00:18:39,825 --> 00:18:42,026 we all need to stop going to Roger's Spot. 401 00:18:42,060 --> 00:18:43,494 Who's with me?! 402 00:18:45,297 --> 00:18:48,199 Also, all the meat is kangaroo. 403 00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:50,501 That's actually a pretty lean protein! 404 00:18:50,536 --> 00:18:52,236 Fine, you want the real dirt? 405 00:18:52,271 --> 00:18:55,039 Our mozzarella sticks are just fried string cheese! 406 00:18:55,073 --> 00:18:56,808 That's what they are everywhere. 407 00:18:56,842 --> 00:18:58,562 Yeah, but isn't that a little disappointing? 408 00:18:58,577 --> 00:18:59,677 He's right! 409 00:18:59,711 --> 00:19:01,312 Boycott Roger's Spot! 410 00:19:01,346 --> 00:19:03,014 Boycott Roger's Spot! 411 00:19:03,048 --> 00:19:05,049 Boycott Roger's Spot! 412 00:19:05,084 --> 00:19:06,851 Boycott Roger's Spot! 413 00:19:08,087 --> 00:19:10,188 I am ruined. 414 00:19:10,222 --> 00:19:13,391 And I in a barrel of salsa. 415 00:19:13,425 --> 00:19:15,827 No one knows which one... could be any location. 416 00:19:18,363 --> 00:19:23,367 Okay, boys, our sweet reward is on the other side of that door. 417 00:19:30,109 --> 00:19:31,642 Hi. Can I help you? 418 00:19:31,677 --> 00:19:34,645 Um... w-we're looking for Charlotte? 419 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,949 Oh, the woman who sold us this beautifully-remodeled house? 420 00:19:37,983 --> 00:19:40,151 What? If you hurry, you can still catch her. 421 00:19:43,689 --> 00:19:45,623 Oh, hey, boys. 422 00:19:45,657 --> 00:19:47,692 Thanks to all your hard work, 423 00:19:47,726 --> 00:19:50,461 I just flipped this house for a tasty profit. 424 00:19:50,496 --> 00:19:52,497 You flip houses? 425 00:19:52,531 --> 00:19:55,433 Uh-huh. And I've found that horn-dog teenagers 426 00:19:55,467 --> 00:19:58,436 tend to work the, uh... hardest. 427 00:19:58,470 --> 00:19:59,771 Stop doing that! 428 00:19:59,805 --> 00:20:02,373 We thought you were gonna turn us into men. 429 00:20:02,407 --> 00:20:05,076 I did. Now you know how to install drywall, 430 00:20:05,110 --> 00:20:06,544 wire an addition, 431 00:20:06,578 --> 00:20:08,880 and you've established lasting relationships 432 00:20:08,914 --> 00:20:11,482 with the County Permit Board. 433 00:20:11,517 --> 00:20:14,218 Take care... men. 434 00:20:19,458 --> 00:20:21,592 We learned a lot from Charlotte that summer 435 00:20:21,627 --> 00:20:23,694 about what it meant to be a man. 436 00:20:23,729 --> 00:20:27,198 And we carried that with us the rest of our lives. 437 00:20:27,232 --> 00:20:28,533 Snot joined the Army, 438 00:20:28,567 --> 00:20:30,601 ended up marrying his commanding officer, 439 00:20:30,636 --> 00:20:33,104 Lieutenant Randall Santana. 440 00:20:33,138 --> 00:20:35,773 Barry became the poet in residence at Ithaca College 441 00:20:35,808 --> 00:20:38,276 and started dating his male students. 442 00:20:38,310 --> 00:20:40,978 Toshi settled in the garden city of Kyoto 443 00:20:41,013 --> 00:20:43,781 where he works as a male prostitute. 444 00:20:43,816 --> 00:20:45,049 As for me? 445 00:20:45,083 --> 00:20:47,084 Super gay, also. 446 00:20:54,349 --> 00:20:56,749 It's good to see you back behind the bar, Roger. 447 00:20:56,887 --> 00:20:59,822 Thanks, Franny, but you were right about one thing. 448 00:20:59,856 --> 00:21:01,757 It wouldn't hurt to slow down a bit 449 00:21:01,792 --> 00:21:04,059 and enjoy the little moments in my life. 450 00:21:06,229 --> 00:21:07,930 Ow! Damn it! 451 00:21:07,964 --> 00:21:09,965 Really enjoyed that. 452 00:21:13,670 --> 00:21:15,971 Good night, Rog. 453 00:21:16,006 --> 00:21:26,497 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com web dl sync snarry