﻿1
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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪

2
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪

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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪

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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪

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♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪

7
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Aah!

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<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

9
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I got to tell you.

10
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I love the "boys
night in" concept.

11
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Two dudes just letting it
all hang out.

12
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What are you doing?

13
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Stan, just get the prostate
surgery, you cheapskate.

14
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No, I'm trying
to wear out this chair.

15
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Francine won't let me
buy a La-Z-Boy

16
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until this one breaks.

17
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You can buy a La-Z-Boy?

18
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I thought you could only
win them on game shows.

19
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I would love one of those.

20
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Scoot over, I'll help.

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Finally tonight, Terry and I
have some wonderful news:

22
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We're adopting
a ten-year-old Russian boy.

23
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That's right, Greg, and
we invite you to join us

24
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as we turn the
camera on ourselves

25
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in a four-part series
we're calling...

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People often ask us,
"How happy are you

27
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that you were able to adopt
your gorgeous daughter?"

28
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And the answer is, happy...

29
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ish?

30
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<i>Plus we realized</i>
<i>we still needed something</i>

31
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<i>to fill our empty third bedroom.</i>

32
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<i>And that thing was a son.</i>

33
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<i>Follow Greg and Terry's journey</i>

34
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<i>as they open their hearts to...</i>

35
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Oh, Greg, look!

36
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That's the public toilet
where we fell in love!

37
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Look at this.

38
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Greg and Terry are adopting

39
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a little boy from Russia.

40
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And they invited us
to the shower!

41
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Pass.
Pass.

42
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Well, too bad.

43
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They're our neighbors
and our friends.

44
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And we're all going.

45
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Fine, I'll go.

46
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But only because I like playing

47
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with that awesome
baton collection

48
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they keep under their bed.

49
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Stan...

50
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just wash your hands after.

51
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Yes! We wore out the chair!

52
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Bring on the La-Z-Boy!

53
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Looks like it's time for
a little spring cleaning.

54
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Okay, Stan, it
wasn't that funny.

55
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Stop it, Stan.

56
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Stan, stop it!

57
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You're scaring me!

58
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Francine, get in here!

59
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It's happening again!

60
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Thanks for picking up
the shower gift, Roger.

61
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No problem.

62
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I just Googled
"Russian Boy Toys."

63
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Then I grabbed a nap,
hopped in the shower,

64
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and went to Toys "R" Us.

65
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It's so cool that Greg and Terry

66
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are adopting another child.

67
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Although it is a shame they
couldn't conceive naturally.

68
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Lord knows how much
I hear them trying.

69
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Welcome, Smiths.

70
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Come in.

71
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Where am I?

72
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This music.

73
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The mind-blowing furniture.

74
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The spectacular people
who look like

75
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they all must have passports.

76
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<i>Bonsoir, mes amis.</i>

77
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Champagne?

78
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Check it out--
two chicks dancing.

79
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They're making a statement.

80
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I don't understand it,
but I want to so bad!

81
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O-M-triple-G!

82
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Is that Liev Schreiber?!

83
00:03:20,130 --> 00:03:23,733
Yeah, the Tesla's completely
reversed my carbon footprint.

84
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Every time I start the car,
I'm giving back to the Earth.

85
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That's both
environmentally friendly

86
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and you're Liev Schreiber!

87
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It's incredible!

88
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As is that scarf.

89
00:03:33,944 --> 00:03:35,578
But tell me, Liev Schreiber,

90
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why are you
still wearing it inside?

91
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It's just part of my outfit.

92
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This is good.

93
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We want thank you all
so much for coming.

94
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And even though Michael doesn't
arrive until tomorrow,

95
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we know he'd want us
to experience

96
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the joy of opening
his gifts for him.

97
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A Waterford Crystal teddy bear!

98
00:03:59,170 --> 00:04:00,203
Aw!

99
00:04:03,941 --> 00:04:07,811
You guys, an authentic
17th century chaise longue?

100
00:04:07,845 --> 00:04:10,146
Ah, our new son will go
perfectly with this.

101
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Fabulous, fabulous.
Wonderful.

102
00:04:15,152 --> 00:04:17,187
Okay, what fabulous gift
should we open next?

103
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Stan's Uncle Roger!

104
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You're going the wrong way.

105
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Get over here with that gift!

106
00:04:23,461 --> 00:04:26,396
A-Actually, I might've
mis-shopped, heh.

107
00:04:26,430 --> 00:04:28,064
Clown wrapping paper?

108
00:04:28,099 --> 00:04:29,132
How kitsch!

109
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Oh, oh, you love the paper?

110
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That-that's the gift!

111
00:04:31,569 --> 00:04:34,637
Response achieved!

112
00:04:34,672 --> 00:04:38,174
It's some sort of tote bag
with what appears to be a...

113
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man-spider?

114
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You don't know
Spider-Man?

115
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He sticks to walls like this.

116
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This cheese is too hot.

117
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It's not sticking.

118
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I've never been so humiliated!

119
00:04:55,059 --> 00:04:57,961
Roger, the Spider-Man
backpack was a fine gift.

120
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No, it wasn't!

121
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Greg and Terry have culture.

122
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Something which is severely
lacking in this household.

123
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:04,801
That's not true.

124
00:05:04,835 --> 00:05:07,470
Ugh, Francine, the food
at that party was gross.

125
00:05:07,505 --> 00:05:09,005
Please tell me
we got pizza poppers.

126
00:05:09,039 --> 00:05:11,041
Pizza poppers?!

127
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♪ Puh-puh-puh-pizza popper ♪

128
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♪ Pizza popper ♪

129
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♪ Pizza popper dance! ♪

130
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Make mine puh-puh-pepperoni!

131
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Make mine puh-puh-puh-pineapple!

132
00:05:20,751 --> 00:05:23,553
Greg and Terry's daughter
speaks French and only French!

133
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Roger, you're overreacting.

134
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Okay, we're plenty
sophisticated here.

135
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Someone order a La-Z-Boy?

136
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A La-Z-Boy-- perfect!

137
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That only proves my point!

138
00:05:36,434 --> 00:05:39,069
Hey, yesterday, you were as
excited about it as I was!

139
00:05:39,103 --> 00:05:40,770
That was when
I thought a recliner

140
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was the height of aspiration.

141
00:05:42,373 --> 00:05:43,773
It's all so clear to me now.

142
00:05:43,808 --> 00:05:46,053
I'm Frasier and
you're Frasier's dad.

143
00:05:46,158 --> 00:05:47,858
That's not true.

144
00:05:49,961 --> 00:05:52,029
That was weird, but well timed.

145
00:05:52,063 --> 00:05:54,465
Anyway, this is not
my fault, it's yours!

146
00:05:54,499 --> 00:05:56,400
If I hadn't wasted
all these years

147
00:05:56,434 --> 00:05:57,868
with you ill-mannered
monsters,

148
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I would've known
better than to give

149
00:05:59,337 --> 00:06:01,338
a Spider-Man
backpack as a gift!

150
00:06:01,373 --> 00:06:04,108
You guys have dragged
me down to your level!

151
00:06:06,511 --> 00:06:07,678
I broke the door!

152
00:06:07,712 --> 00:06:09,113
Fixed it!

153
00:06:09,147 --> 00:06:11,015
Wow, he's really upset.

154
00:06:11,049 --> 00:06:12,349
Francine, I'm sure he...

155
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Ah!

156
00:06:14,853 --> 00:06:16,854
Stan, are you all right?

157
00:06:16,888 --> 00:06:18,055
Stan?

158
00:06:18,090 --> 00:06:19,957
Stan, can you hear me?!

159
00:06:19,991 --> 00:06:21,192
Daddy?!

160
00:06:21,226 --> 00:06:23,227
The chair has him now.

161
00:06:27,566 --> 00:06:29,366
Stan, wake up.

162
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You've been down here all night.

163
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Oh, Fran-Fran.

164
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Hi, baby.

165
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,575
How are you?

166
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Oh, you're so pretty.

167
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Look how relaxed my muscles are.

168
00:06:44,082 --> 00:06:46,584
Well, the big
moment is finally here.

169
00:06:46,618 --> 00:06:49,687
We're about to meet our new son.
It's really happening.

170
00:06:49,721 --> 00:06:52,656
Michael. Michael, it's us.
Your new parents.

171
00:06:54,259 --> 00:06:56,360
Oh, my God, he's perfect!

172
00:06:56,395 --> 00:06:57,862
<i>Paposhkas.</i>

173
00:06:57,896 --> 00:07:00,664
Roger is their adopted baby?

174
00:07:00,699 --> 00:07:02,033
But that can't be.

175
00:07:02,067 --> 00:07:04,135
I just saw Roger
sleeping in the attic.

176
00:07:04,169 --> 00:07:06,670
He was two pillows
and a soccer ball.

177
00:07:06,705 --> 00:07:09,673
Oh, wait a minute.

178
00:07:13,957 --> 00:07:16,044
Welcome to your
new room, Michael.

179
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,337
So, what is system in America?

180
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:21,273
Do I put sock on door
handle if I am being raped?

181
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:25,044
Guys, can you give us a second?

182
00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,679
Michael,
we're happy you're here,

183
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,681
but you're gonna
have to lose the nasty accent.

184
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:29,948
It's nasty, nasty.

185
00:07:29,983 --> 00:07:31,550
Sure, no problem, how's this?

186
00:07:31,584 --> 00:07:33,319
I told you he'd be a genius.

187
00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:35,387
The trick to parenting
is patience.

188
00:07:35,422 --> 00:07:38,057
Now, what sophisticated
stuff are we gonna do first?

189
00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:40,359
Michael,
this is your Life Binder.

190
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:42,061
Your new daddies
have already planned out

191
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,563
your entire future
with color-coded tabs.

192
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:48,968
I'll treasure this for the rest
of my color-coded life.

193
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:50,903
Okay, now, to bed with you.

194
00:07:50,937 --> 00:07:53,739
This antique chaise
longue is my bed?

195
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,308
Yes, and this is
400-year-old wood,

196
00:07:56,343 --> 00:07:58,711
so you have to
sleep very carefully.

197
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,846
Yeah, try not to put
all your weight on it.

198
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,420
Snuggly.

199
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,089
Sweet dreams, angel.

200
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:22,401
Roger, you have to
come home right now.

201
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,836
Get lost, this is my home now.

202
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,304
Yeah? Well, what
are you gonna do

203
00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:26,905
when the actual
Russian kid shows up?

204
00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:28,440
Oh, I took care of that.

205
00:08:35,582 --> 00:08:36,982
Right here, honey.

206
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,352
They have big plans for me.

207
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,589
By February, I'll have mastered
conversational Japanese.

208
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:46,292
And I think I saw something
in here about Dartmouth.

209
00:08:46,326 --> 00:08:48,260
Yup, I'm going to Dartmouth.

210
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,962
♪ Dartmouth fight song ♪

211
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:51,630
♪ Dartmouth fight song. ♪

212
00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:52,986
Those words
probably aren't right,

213
00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:55,167
but I got a fifty-fifty shot
the tune's dead-on.

214
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,303
Ugh, quit pretending
you're something you're not.

215
00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,238
I know exactly who I am.

216
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:01,407
I wasted years
in that double-wide trailer

217
00:09:01,441 --> 00:09:02,908
you call a house.

218
00:09:02,943 --> 00:09:05,110
You've given me nothing
and I deserve everything.

219
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,112
I've given you nothing?

220
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,114
You... betrayer.

221
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,583
Roger, you are
coming home with me

222
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,051
if I have to drag you out.

223
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,786
Oh, really? 'Cause from here,

224
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,222
you're a grown man standing
in a ten-year-old's bedroom

225
00:09:16,256 --> 00:09:18,657
after bedtime.<i> Paposhkas!</i>

226
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,492
Stan?

227
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:22,428
Oh, hi, I'm, uh...

228
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:25,130
selling magazine subscriptions
and we're offering

229
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,832
a two-year deal
on<i> House Beautiful.</i>

230
00:09:26,866 --> 00:09:29,068
This is
a<i> Dwell</i> household.

231
00:09:29,102 --> 00:09:30,202
Get out of here.

232
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:33,038
Fine, I'm leaving.

233
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,441
Bad man remind me of caretaker

234
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,643
at orphanage
who touch us with rake.

235
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,645
Oh, Michael...

236
00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,747
accent.

237
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,518
Okay, children.
Quick, organic breakfast,

238
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:49,154
and then you, mademoiselle,
are going downtown

239
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:52,324
to get your very own
Lena Dunham upper arm tattoo.

240
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,426
I like Lena Dunham.
It's nice to see

241
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,428
someone with my exact
body type succeed.

242
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,430
Terry, hon, you want to
make us something easy?

243
00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,932
Say, frittatas?

244
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,567
Coming right up.

245
00:10:02,802 --> 00:10:04,003
Violent.

246
00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:05,971
Those eggs are
not cage-free.

247
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,107
The store was out,
I-I didn't think it mattered.

248
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:09,375
Of course it matters.

249
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,710
I'm very particular
about what I put in my body.

250
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,179
Yeah, unless you're on
a booze cruise in Mazatlán.

251
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,949
Might I remind you
that<i> you</i> selected him.

252
00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:18,450
I'm going out to get more eggs.

253
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:20,586
The kind of eggs
I thought we'd agreed to eat

254
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,321
for the rest of our lives.

255
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:28,427
Secret junk food time.

256
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,229
Quick, eat up.

257
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,730
He'll be back in 15 minutes.

258
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,165
Wha... What
are you doing?

259
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,366
Taking a little break

260
00:10:34,401 --> 00:10:36,402
from Greg's impossibly
high expectations.

261
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:38,537
Wait a minute, I
thought you were Greg.

262
00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:39,805
No, I'm Terry.

263
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:41,941
Anyway, everything has
to be so perfect with him.

264
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,210
But, you know,
sometimes you just want a Ho Ho.

265
00:10:44,244 --> 00:10:45,211
Eat up!

266
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:47,112
Oh, my God!

267
00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:49,114
Papa, you're not sophisticated!

268
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,584
You're a brute!
I mean, Ho Hos are...

269
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:57,156
Our little secret?

270
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,924
You're really bad at eating.

271
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,729
Dad, why are we
putting all this stuff

272
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:05,431
from the garage out on the lawn?

273
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:07,099
Roger said we have no class?

274
00:11:07,133 --> 00:11:08,500
Well, the crappier our house,

275
00:11:08,535 --> 00:11:10,669
the more Roger
and his new highbrow family

276
00:11:10,704 --> 00:11:12,705
will hate living across from us.

277
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:16,442
Uh, how much for
this old fridge?

278
00:11:16,476 --> 00:11:18,477
Oh, this isn't a yard sale,
it's yard clutter.

279
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,145
But feel free to stick around,

280
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:23,249
smoke, maybe defecate by a bush.

281
00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,851
Ah, I should go to work.

282
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:30,656
Hey, neighbors!

283
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,758
Oh, my God, what is he doing?!

284
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,527
I'll take care of this.

285
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,998
Your chair's in the sightline
of my fabulous life.

286
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:40,299
Get it inside.

287
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:43,269
Oh, am I an eyesore
to your perfect little world?

288
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:44,637
At least I'm not an ear-sore.

289
00:11:44,671 --> 00:11:45,871
Or maybe I am.

290
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,546
You're a classless lout!

291
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,981
What's that?
You want it loud?

292
00:11:57,184 --> 00:11:59,051
Yeah!

293
00:11:59,085 --> 00:12:01,420
♪ Life is a highway ♪

294
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,689
♪ I wanna ride it ♪

295
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,692
♪ All night long, oh! ♪

296
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,993
Uh!

297
00:12:10,463 --> 00:12:12,331
I have permission!

298
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,472
What's wrong?

299
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:21,173
Has the fish turned?

300
00:12:21,208 --> 00:12:23,876
No, the food is resplendent,
but I can't eat.

301
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,412
I just keep seeing Stan
in that terrible chair.

302
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,148
Uh! I know, that
La-Z-Boy. Yuck.

303
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,817
You know what we should do,
just to teach him a lesson?

304
00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:33,919
We should get one
of those chairs.

305
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,354
What?!
You're kidding, right?

306
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,556
Well, we'd buy it
ironically, of course.

307
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:38,858
And since it's my idea,

308
00:12:38,892 --> 00:12:40,759
I'd sit in it most of the time.

309
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:42,328
You know, mockingly.

310
00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:44,430
No, no, bad idea!
Greg, tell him!

311
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,432
Hmm...
So it's...

312
00:12:46,466 --> 00:12:49,134
satirical home decor
performance art.

313
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,569
I'm starting to see this.

314
00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:51,971
What's happening right now?!

315
00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:54,240
Ooh, and you know what'd
make Stan really mad?

316
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,875
If I fell asleep
in the La-Z-Boy

317
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,144
a few nights a week
watching reruns of<i> Martin.</i>

318
00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,012
Oh, he would hate that!

319
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:02,948
Excuse me a moment.

320
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,583
A La-Z-Boy?

321
00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:06,652
And he convinced Greg
to go along with it?

322
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,854
I didn't throw an orphan
out of an airplane

323
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:10,422
just to have Terry drag me back

324
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:12,224
to a life of unsophistication!

325
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,460
I clearly have no choice.

326
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:16,328
I have to kill Terry.

327
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:17,763
You're gonna kill who?

328
00:13:17,798 --> 00:13:19,732
You heard me?

329
00:13:19,766 --> 00:13:21,634
Now you have to die, too.

330
00:13:21,668 --> 00:13:22,835
What about me?

331
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:24,703
Okay, how many people
are in this bathroom?

332
00:13:24,738 --> 00:13:25,938
If you're in the bathroom,

333
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,773
please step out
where I can see you.

334
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,944
The Washington Wizards pep team?

335
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:33,512
You guys all fit in there?

336
00:13:33,547 --> 00:13:34,747
We do everything together.

337
00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:35,948
T-shirt time!

338
00:13:35,982 --> 00:13:37,216
Go, Wizards!
Go, Wizards!

339
00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:38,584
Over here!
Over here!

340
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,153
I'm the loudest! I got the most pep!
Free T-shirt.

341
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,155
Give me your shirt
and I'll let everyone live.

342
00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,391
No way, man.
I want this to sleep in.

343
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:46,992
Well, then everybody's
getting it!

344
00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:48,661
Oh, I only have six bullets.

345
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:50,029
All right, everybody stay here.

346
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,398
I gotta, I gotta go
get more of something.

347
00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:08,852
Stan, work's calling.

348
00:14:08,886 --> 00:14:10,487
Just explain to them
what I'm doing.

349
00:14:10,521 --> 00:14:14,858
Uh... uh...

350
00:14:14,892 --> 00:14:16,659
okay.

351
00:14:18,696 --> 00:14:19,896
There he is.

352
00:14:19,930 --> 00:14:23,099
Okay, Manslaughter,
it's showtime!

353
00:14:33,544 --> 00:14:35,178
What the hell is he up to?

354
00:14:38,249 --> 00:14:39,449
What are you doing?

355
00:14:39,483 --> 00:14:40,884
That's Terry's brake line!

356
00:14:40,918 --> 00:14:43,186
Wait-- are you trying
to kill Terry?!

357
00:14:44,388 --> 00:14:46,089
Daddies!

358
00:14:46,123 --> 00:14:47,624
He's scaring me again.

359
00:14:47,658 --> 00:14:50,026
With his gruff voice
and farmer hands.

360
00:14:50,061 --> 00:14:51,494
Guys, there's something
you should know!

361
00:14:51,529 --> 00:14:53,496
Michael isn't who
you think he is!

362
00:14:53,531 --> 00:14:57,033
Stan, your insane fixation
on Michael is unsettling.

363
00:14:57,068 --> 00:15:00,003
I'm gonna have to ask you
to leave our family alone.

364
00:15:00,037 --> 00:15:02,205
But you're in danger!
You've gotta believe me!

365
00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:06,843
Hey, how are the
magazine sales going?

366
00:15:06,877 --> 00:15:08,845
I've only sold
three subscriptions.

367
00:15:08,879 --> 00:15:10,347
You gotta stay upbeat, Stan.

368
00:15:10,381 --> 00:15:12,916
Marcus is two sales away
from the skateboard.

369
00:15:12,950 --> 00:15:14,851
Marcus's dad is a dentist!

370
00:15:14,885 --> 00:15:17,220
He's just restocking
his waiting room!

371
00:15:17,254 --> 00:15:18,722
Okay, we're not gonna let weird,

372
00:15:18,756 --> 00:15:20,523
ol' Stan Smith spoil
our surprise,

373
00:15:20,558 --> 00:15:22,459
are we,
Corbin-Bates family?

374
00:15:22,493 --> 00:15:24,728
Skinny jeans for Michael!

375
00:15:24,762 --> 00:15:27,330
I can't wait to see them on you.

376
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,774
You don't...
you don't happen to have

377
00:15:37,808 --> 00:15:39,409
any Spanx lying around, do you?

378
00:15:42,279 --> 00:15:44,414
Stop it, Greg!
He's not gonna fit!

379
00:15:44,448 --> 00:15:45,915
They're past my ankles,
keep pulling.

380
00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:47,150
I'll do better!

381
00:15:47,184 --> 00:15:48,718
Great.

382
00:15:48,753 --> 00:15:50,286
We were all gonna wear
skinny jeans

383
00:15:50,321 --> 00:15:52,122
and no shirts
for our Christmas photo.

384
00:15:52,156 --> 00:15:54,457
But now it's ruined,
it's all ruined!

385
00:15:54,492 --> 00:15:56,459
It's okay.

386
00:15:56,494 --> 00:15:58,128
Look, we're all way
too stressed out.

387
00:15:58,162 --> 00:16:00,030
Why don't we just take
a relaxing trip

388
00:16:00,064 --> 00:16:01,131
to the lake house?

389
00:16:01,165 --> 00:16:04,067
You have a lake house?

390
00:16:07,772 --> 00:16:09,806
It's gonna be nice
to get out of town

391
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,442
and away from that ape across the street.
I hear ya.

392
00:16:12,476 --> 00:16:14,511
Actually, now that we
have a minute to breathe,

393
00:16:14,545 --> 00:16:16,613
there's something I need
to talk to you about.

394
00:16:16,647 --> 00:16:18,415
I found these used
Ho Ho wrappers

395
00:16:18,449 --> 00:16:19,883
in the outside garbage.

396
00:16:19,917 --> 00:16:21,217
Oh.
That's right.

397
00:16:21,252 --> 00:16:22,986
It seems as though
Michael has brought

398
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:24,954
a rather trashy element
into our home.

399
00:16:24,989 --> 00:16:27,057
Oh, y-yeah, Michael.

400
00:16:27,091 --> 00:16:28,731
Those Ho Hos definitely
belong to Michael.

401
00:16:28,759 --> 00:16:30,760
The moment we get
to the lake house,

402
00:16:30,795 --> 00:16:32,996
you and I have
to confront him about this.

403
00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:35,598
I will not tolerate the
deterioration of our way of life.

404
00:16:35,633 --> 00:16:37,067
That's a great idea.

405
00:16:37,101 --> 00:16:40,070
Yeah, let's confront Michael
when we get there.

406
00:16:40,104 --> 00:16:42,606
<i>If Greg talks to
him, Michael will out me!</i>

407
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,074
<i>I'll lose everything!</i>

408
00:16:44,108 --> 00:16:46,409
<i>I have no choice.</i>

409
00:16:46,444 --> 00:16:49,913
<i>Before they can talk,</i>
<i>I have to kill Michael.</i>

410
00:16:54,785 --> 00:16:57,187
Hey. We still up for this?

411
00:16:57,221 --> 00:16:58,655
Still gonna kill this guy?

412
00:16:58,689 --> 00:17:00,857
Yes! Shut up!
You're gonna blow it!

413
00:17:00,891 --> 00:17:03,760
Oh, it's beautiful here.

414
00:17:03,794 --> 00:17:05,095
Hey, I got an idea.

415
00:17:05,129 --> 00:17:08,431
Maybe Terry and I could go out
on the lake... alone.

416
00:17:08,466 --> 00:17:09,866
Actually, Michael,
there's something

417
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,868
Terry and I wanted
to discuss with you.

418
00:17:11,902 --> 00:17:13,269
No, no, no, that can wait.

419
00:17:13,304 --> 00:17:14,537
A canoe trip, you say?

420
00:17:14,572 --> 00:17:16,239
Just the two of us?
Nobody around?

421
00:17:16,274 --> 00:17:18,074
Sounds perfect.

422
00:17:21,178 --> 00:17:23,179
So what do you say, Little Miss?

423
00:17:25,883 --> 00:17:29,219
Hmm. I'm gonna have to talk
to your French teacher.

424
00:17:31,255 --> 00:17:35,091
It's so peaceful
out here on the lake.

425
00:17:35,126 --> 00:17:37,093
I imagine the only place
more peaceful

426
00:17:37,128 --> 00:17:38,895
would be the bottom of it.

427
00:17:38,930 --> 00:17:41,831
You may be more right
than you know.

428
00:17:41,866 --> 00:17:45,302
Oh, I know exactly
how right I am.

429
00:17:45,336 --> 00:17:47,070
Or do you?

430
00:17:48,105 --> 00:17:49,372
This is nice.

431
00:17:49,407 --> 00:17:50,540
It is.

432
00:17:50,574 --> 00:17:52,042
Mind handing me the bug spray?

433
00:17:52,076 --> 00:17:53,510
It's behind you.
Of course.

434
00:17:54,745 --> 00:17:57,647
Thanks.

435
00:17:57,682 --> 00:17:59,149
Aren't you gonna use it?

436
00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:00,317
False alarm.

437
00:18:00,351 --> 00:18:01,918
Oh, you've got a bite
on your line.

438
00:18:01,953 --> 00:18:03,153
Catch anything?

439
00:18:03,187 --> 00:18:05,288
No. Turns out there was no pole,

440
00:18:05,323 --> 00:18:06,590
and I wasn't fishing.

441
00:18:06,624 --> 00:18:07,757
My mistake.

442
00:18:07,792 --> 00:18:10,994
Look behind you, it's
Cloris Leachman on a Jet Ski!

443
00:18:12,797 --> 00:18:14,564
What-what the hell's
going on?

444
00:18:14,599 --> 00:18:15,999
I'm trying to kill you.

445
00:18:16,033 --> 00:18:17,934
Kill me?!
I'm trying to kill you!

446
00:18:19,937 --> 00:18:21,871
Ho Hos? A La-Z-Boy?!

447
00:18:21,906 --> 00:18:25,475
I thought I was joining a classy
family, Terry, but you're...

448
00:18:25,509 --> 00:18:27,711
nothing better than
unsophisticated trash!

449
00:18:27,745 --> 00:18:30,747
That may be, but you're gonna
take my secret to the grave!

450
00:18:30,781 --> 00:18:32,282
Not if I kill you first.

451
00:18:32,316 --> 00:18:33,617
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa,
we're tipping, we're tipping.

452
00:18:33,651 --> 00:18:34,818
Stop-stop-stop-stop-stop.

453
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,052
Okay, you've got
to counterbalance.

454
00:18:36,087 --> 00:18:37,487
Just take your right foot
and let me ease by you.

455
00:18:37,521 --> 00:18:38,889
Okay, I'm gonna step
and step, step...

456
00:18:38,923 --> 00:18:40,056
Okay, there you go.

457
00:18:40,091 --> 00:18:42,425
Okay, enough circling.
It's die time!

458
00:18:47,098 --> 00:18:49,299
I hope they got
the grill started.

459
00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:50,634
Hey, babe!

460
00:18:50,668 --> 00:18:52,669
Oh, Greg, it's awful!
He fell overboard!

461
00:18:52,703 --> 00:18:54,971
Michael's dead! He's dead!

462
00:18:55,006 --> 00:18:57,240
Terry, just get a hold
of yourself! It's okay!

463
00:18:57,275 --> 00:18:59,376
He was never gonna
to fit in at Dartmouth.

464
00:18:59,410 --> 00:19:00,911
He didn't fit
in to the skinny jeans.

465
00:19:00,945 --> 00:19:03,413
He didn't... fit in.

466
00:19:03,447 --> 00:19:08,218
I guess I wasn't
meant to have this kind of life.

467
00:19:28,272 --> 00:19:30,173
Roger! Roger,
can you hear me?

468
00:19:33,544 --> 00:19:35,178
Damn it, Roger!

469
00:19:35,213 --> 00:19:37,080
Oh, Stan, you saved me!

470
00:19:37,114 --> 00:19:38,114
Don't flatter yourself.

471
00:19:38,149 --> 00:19:39,649
I came here to save Terry.

472
00:19:39,684 --> 00:19:42,586
Oh, Stan, I'm so sorry
for the way I treated you.

473
00:19:42,620 --> 00:19:44,621
Please...
let me come home.

474
00:19:44,655 --> 00:19:45,689
I don't know.

475
00:19:45,723 --> 00:19:47,524
I thought our family
was beneath you.

476
00:19:47,558 --> 00:19:49,860
Of course you are.
But don't you see?

477
00:19:49,894 --> 00:19:52,229
You guys are<i> my</i> La-Z-Boy.

478
00:19:52,263 --> 00:19:54,064
Ugly but comfortable.

479
00:19:54,098 --> 00:19:56,199
And I wouldn't have it
any other way.

480
00:19:56,234 --> 00:19:58,201
Well, neither would I.

481
00:19:58,236 --> 00:20:00,437
Come on, Roger.
Let's head home.

482
00:20:00,471 --> 00:20:01,438
Sounds good.

483
00:20:01,472 --> 00:20:04,708
But first we gotta make
a quick stop...

484
00:20:04,742 --> 00:20:06,209
for pizza poppers.

485
00:20:06,244 --> 00:20:08,044
Make mine puh-puh-pepperoni!

486
00:20:08,079 --> 00:20:10,680
Make mine puh-puh-puh-Vicodin!

487
00:20:12,216 --> 00:20:15,018
It is with heavy hearts
that we inform our viewers

488
00:20:15,052 --> 00:20:17,220
that our adopted
Russian son, Michael,

489
00:20:17,255 --> 00:20:18,922
tragically drowned
in a mountain lake.

490
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:20,590
We ask that in lieu of flowers,

491
00:20:20,625 --> 00:20:22,192
you send us
Crate & Barrel gift cards.

492
00:20:23,427 --> 00:20:25,629
Restoration Hardware gift cards.

493
00:20:25,663 --> 00:20:28,098
Weird. So Terry thinks
he killed you

494
00:20:28,132 --> 00:20:29,733
and it doesn't faze him at all?

495
00:20:29,767 --> 00:20:31,001
That's just the end of it?

496
00:20:31,035 --> 00:20:32,202
I wouldn't say that.

497
00:20:40,058 --> 00:20:41,143
Well done.

498
00:20:41,263 --> 00:20:43,376
Being wet and bloated
was a nice touch.

499
00:20:43,496 --> 00:20:45,115
Bloated?

500
00:20:46,267 --> 00:20:49,189
Come on! Don't be that way!
Come back!

501
00:20:49,921 --> 00:20:52,370
Wh-what are you doing?!

502
00:20:52,622 --> 00:20:54,055
Tying up loose ends.

503
00:20:54,090 --> 00:21:04,628
<font color="#ec14bd">Sync & corrections by honeybunny</font>
<font color="#ec14bd">www.addic7ed.com</font>

