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sync and corrections by dreaMaker7
www.addic7ed.com
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Boner Balls.
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Boner Balls.
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Boner, Boner Forest. Dense Boner Forest.
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Pungent Crotch Sweat.
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Pungent. Milky Crotch Ooze.
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Barking Vaginal Belch.
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Protruding Vaginal Boner.
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Dilapidated titties incorporated.
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Oh, I like that.
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Rotten Booby turds.
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- Nah.
- Bloody Butt Cough.
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Angry Clit Spasm.
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Nope, sorry.
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Whooping Fart Balls.
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- No.
- Lubricated Titty Burgers.
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That's taken, too.
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Indifferent Rectal Semen Splooge.
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Sorry.
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Indifferent Rectal Semen
Splooge is taken? Come on!
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How are we supposed to name our start-up
company if every name is already taken.
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I told you you just have to be
really original with you company name.
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There's a lot of start-up
companies these days.
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Furry Balls Plopped Menacingly
On the Table Incorporated.
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That's available!
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Congratulations!
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It doesn't quite roll off the tongue.
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Dude, we're not gonna get
any attention with that name.
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Man, this sucks.
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Uh, Stan, aren't you
supposed to be in school?
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No, dad, we don't need school anymore.
We're forming a start-up company.
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- A start-up company? A company that does
what? - No, we don't want to do anything.
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Yeah, that's why we want
to have a start-up company.
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Yeah, we're sick of school.
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But all the good attention-getting
start-up company names are taken.
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Well, boys there's more to starting
a company than having a catchy name.
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No, there isn't.
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You guys!
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You guys, it's awesome!
Holy shit, you guys!
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You guys, I've got it.
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What?
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It's the greatest
start-up company name ever.
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What? Tell us.
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Washington Redskins.
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- Washington Redskins?
- It's so sweet.
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I'm pretty sure that's taken, Cartman.
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It's not, dude. Some dumb
court thingie happened
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and the trademark got
pulled. We can use it!
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And the logo!
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Washington Redskins.
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- I like it.
- Me too.
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- What?
- Dude, there's already brand name awareness
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and it's instantly recognizable!
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Wait, guys, this doesn't seem legal.
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Kyle, you're not hearing me.
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The trademark has been pulled.
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We can do whatever we want.
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- You all right, dude?
- Yeah.
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I just... well, I just thought our company
name would be more like... original.
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It's a strong name, dude. It's
like aggressive and masculine,
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like Boner Forest, but
Boner Forest was taken.
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Yeah but maybe we need a
name that's more affirming.
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- Like shows what we stand for.
- We don't stand for anything.
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Remember, our company plan, guys
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start up, cash in, sell out, bro down.
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I'm just not sure this is the name
people are gonna give money to.
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We already got a dollar.
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What?
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One dollar pledged.
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I told you guys, Washington Redskins'
totally gets people attention.
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- Another 2 dollars.
- No way!
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Sittin' on our asses, here we come!
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Another new start-up company is gaining
a lot of attention on the Internet.
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They're a company that
does absolutely nothing.
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And they're called the Washington Redskins.
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The Redskins started as what
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appeared to be some
kind of adolescent prank
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but almost overnight it
has become one of the most
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heavily funded projects on KickStarter.
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Why did you give $5 to the
Washington Redskins KickStarter?
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I don't know. I just...
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They don't do anything.
That's pretty sweet.
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I don't know, I thought it was funny.
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By pledging just one or two dollars
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you are helping us in our fervent
quest to not have to do stuff.
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If you pledge $10 or more you will
receive this luxurious company microband.
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It's called Crowd Funding.
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Using the Internet to raise
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money without having to
pay back your investors.
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A tactic that some believe
is unfair and impersonal.
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Washington Redskins, go [Bleep] yourself.
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Sure we'd be happy to take your money.
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Yep, just go to our KickStarter
page. Okay, nice idiot.
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Uh-uh [Bleep] you, bye-bye.
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- You are Eric Cartman.
- Yes, I know.
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My name is Dan Snyder.
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I'm the president and owner
of the Washington Redskins.
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Oh cool, please take a seat.
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- Thank you, but I will stand.
- Nice, I like that.
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Young man, we ask that you
please stop using the name
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Washington Redskins for your organization.
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Stop? But why?
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Because we are the Washington
Redskins and we are a football team.
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You have no right to use
our name to get attention.
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The trademark got pulled. So, I'm
totally free to use the name actually.
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Butters, could you get that?
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Washington Redskins go [bleep] yourself.
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Look, don't you see that when
you call your organization
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the Washington Redskins,
it's offensive to us.
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How is it offensive?
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How is it offensive? Jesus!
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We are a proud team, Mr. Cartman.
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We have no wish to be associated
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- with people who actively do nothing.
- Make us feel like a joke!
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Guys, guys!
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We have total respect for you.
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When we named our company
Washington Redskins
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it was out of deep appreciation
for your team and your people.
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I know I can't legally make
you stop using our name, but,
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but won't you just do it out of decency?
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No.
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Because I don't want to
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and we can't just change the name of
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our company cuz it's like super hard.
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But hey, from one redskin to another,
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go [Bleep] yourself.
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All around the world people are saying
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they are inspired by
the Washington Redskins.
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The Internet start-up company has
raised so much money on KickStarter,
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that now more groups are doing the same.
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More news on the
Washington Redskins tonight.
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Their defiant f-you attitude has
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now caught the attention
of terrorist group ISIS.
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The terrorists said they
admire the Washington Redskins
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and want to try and follow
their business model.
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Well, let's not forget, Marsha,
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there's a people here, okay, who are
not happy about the use of the name.
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The football Washington Redskins.
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Well, yeah, but does anyone
really care about them?
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Dude, this is so cool!
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We only have six days to go
before all the money pledged to
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our company becomes liquid.
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Guys, we need to talk to you.
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I really don't think we want to
be a company that ISIS looks up to.
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We should maybe issue a statement
saying we don't sanction them.
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Oh, no, you guys!
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We started this company to do nothing.
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If we start doing stuff now,
it will put it all at risk.
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People aren't gonna support our company
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if we dig in our heels and say
we don't care about anything.
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Digging in our heels and
pissing on public opinion
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is what the Washington Redskins
are all about. Now come on guys!
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If you want to be a
successful business then
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you have to be honest about what you are.
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Once you take a stand on something,
you're pretending like your company
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is about more than money.
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Then all of a sudden you're the NFL and your
players get caught molesting little boys!
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That's the Catholic church!
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NFL, Catholic church, the same thing.
Okay, let's use the Catholic church.
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You take a moral stand on issues,
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you say you're about honor, integrity,
and the next thing you know your clergymen
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are getting caught beating
up their wives in an elevator.
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- That's the NFL.
- It's the same thing, Kyle!
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The point is, if we as an organization
claim to be about high morality,
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somebody is eventually going to
get raped or beaten in an elevator.
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- And it's most likely going to be Butters.
- Oh, no!
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All right. I really didn't
wanna have to do this, but...
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I'm not happy with the
direction this company is taking.
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Well, what are you gonna
do, go back to school?
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- I'm not going back there, man.
- Maybe I'll start my own company.
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Well, that's fine!
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You can't call yourself
Washington Redskins.
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I don't want to. It's a stupid name!
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Well, I guess everything's
out on the table now, huh Kyle?
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Yeah, I guess... I guess everything is.
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Stan, do you think our name is stupid too?
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I don't know, I... But I don't know if
my future is with this company either.
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Well, then, I wish you both well
in your new venture. Good-bye!
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Hang on, is this the company
where I don't get raped?
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Yeah, here, here, right?
Okay, I'm gonna stay in here.
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Is the league just going to sit
by while my team and my players
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are compared to ISIS? You have to
do something, commissioner Goodell.
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What are you going to do about this?
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I will get it right.
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And do whatever is
necessary to accomplish that.
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- What?
- We will continue to identify
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- and add expertise to our team.
- That's the most ridiculous,
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nothing answer I have ever heard.
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- What are you gonna do now?
- Every one will participate in
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education sessions
starting in the next month.
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- Aww this thing is broken.
- We can add, and we will do
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- more, do more, do more.
- Get all the NFL owners on Skype!
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This thing is broken again!
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00:10:12,949 --> 00:10:19,269
So I call upon the help of all owners, you
cannot let my people be belittled like this.
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Dan, you don't want to be dealing with
this stuff. Let the Goodell-bot do it.
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This stupid thing isn't working!
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I will get it right!
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Man, that thing hasn't worked
right since we bought it.
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00:10:28,939 --> 00:10:31,608
look, my team is starting to lose hope.
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You have to use your influence to
make these people change their name.
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Did you tell them we're
about honor and integrity.
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If the Goodell-bot is broken we must
stay out of it more than even usual.
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And so I am alone?
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00:10:44,063 --> 00:10:46,497
What if they ridicule the 49ers team next
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or make fun of Jerry Jones
because his eyes are too far apart.
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Mine aren't too far apart.
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If we get them to change their logo,
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will it make you happy?
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00:10:55,070 --> 00:10:56,998
I guess we can live with that.
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Then it's decided. We will
make them change their logo.
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Begin mass behind-the-scenes-under-the-table
enforcement of our wishes, now!
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- Goal!
- Thank God.
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00:11:15,521 --> 00:11:19,024
[Bleep] you. [Bleep] you.
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00:11:19,158 --> 00:11:22,661
[Bleep] you out there. [Bleep] you.
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00:11:22,795 --> 00:11:27,423
[Bleep] you. Those words
mean a great deal with us.
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They help us express just how we
as a company see things differently.
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There are a lot of start-up
companies on KickStarter,
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but after today I think you'll
agree that Washington Redskins
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is the most exciting. As you know,
the Redskins have been on the forefront
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of KickStarter as a company
that is always finding new
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and exciting ways to tell
people to go [bleep] themselves
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And now our company is thrilled to
show you all of the latest innovations
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we've come up with.
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00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:51,388
To begin with,
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we have moved the couch from the left
side of the office to the right side.
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00:11:55,116 --> 00:11:56,616
But we didn't stop there.
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00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:59,338
We all added a new rug. That goes
better with our office drapes.
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And probably most exciting of all,
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00:12:01,844 --> 00:12:05,530
we have actually updated the
company from the inside out.
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We received a lot of pressure
from certain communities
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to change our Redskins logo. As
the company, we want to be firm,
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00:12:12,094 --> 00:12:15,526
but we also want to be flexible.
And so we thought if we have to
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change our logo it should be
more in step with the day's times.
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00:12:18,367 --> 00:12:21,305
But still define us as the
leading KickStarter company.
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00:12:21,331 --> 00:12:23,926
What we came up with
is the new company logo
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that I think you'll all
agree is very exciting.
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Now when people hear the name Redskins
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they will immediately
think titties and balls.
239
00:12:36,516 --> 00:12:39,877
It's just a bold new way that we
can say, we don't [Bleep] care.
240
00:12:39,903 --> 00:12:41,643
Go Redskins!
241
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:49,220
It's so awesome, dude. Our
company already has 100 backers.
242
00:12:49,246 --> 00:12:52,281
And we still have 14 days to go.
243
00:12:52,617 --> 00:12:55,410
- Yeah.
- You okay, bro?
244
00:12:55,544 --> 00:12:58,607
I just... never saw myself
owning a company called
245
00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:00,998
Furry Balls Plopped
Menacingly On the Table.
246
00:13:01,024 --> 00:13:02,933
Give it time. It'll grow on you.
247
00:13:02,959 --> 00:13:05,351
Why don't we just call it
Untitled Start-up company?
248
00:13:05,377 --> 00:13:07,378
Because that sounds like
we don't have anything.
249
00:13:07,404 --> 00:13:08,934
We've been through this already, Stan.
250
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,461
Yeah, I know that. But a
good company should never have
251
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:15,467
- seven words in its title.
- What do you mean?
252
00:13:15,493 --> 00:13:19,570
I just feel that somewhere out there
there's a perfect start-up company name.
253
00:13:20,148 --> 00:13:24,283
- And I need to be free to go find it.
- Oh.
254
00:13:25,296 --> 00:13:28,766
Well, I certainly don't want you
to feel that Furry Balls Plopped
255
00:13:28,792 --> 00:13:30,960
Menacingly On the Table
is holding you back.
256
00:13:34,708 --> 00:13:36,275
Good luck with your company, dude.
257
00:13:36,801 --> 00:13:41,104
Yeah. Good luck with yours.
258
00:13:46,658 --> 00:13:51,541
It's just incredible, Harry. Everyone
is using KickStarter for everything.
259
00:13:51,567 --> 00:13:55,432
- And for every project funded we get 5%.
- It's like...
260
00:13:55,458 --> 00:13:58,549
we don't even have to do
anything and we just make money.
261
00:13:58,575 --> 00:14:01,745
Sitting on our asses here we come.
262
00:14:05,542 --> 00:14:08,425
Caw cawww.
263
00:14:23,799 --> 00:14:24,878
Huh?
264
00:14:34,893 --> 00:14:35,931
Ugh!
265
00:14:59,997 --> 00:15:03,413
- Good morning, guys!
- Happy deadline day.
266
00:15:03,439 --> 00:15:05,573
We made it, guys. We can
finally stop doing stuff
267
00:15:05,599 --> 00:15:10,486
and see how much our company
made in four, three, two, one...
268
00:15:10,512 --> 00:15:15,016
- That's the deadline!
- Oh boy, this is like Christmas morning!
269
00:15:16,379 --> 00:15:20,621
What the hell, can't find
the server. Kickstarter.com.
270
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,099
Kickstarter, where is KickStarter?
271
00:15:24,125 --> 00:15:25,540
Get it up on your phone, Butters
272
00:15:25,566 --> 00:15:27,124
Come on, I wanna know how
much our company is worth.
273
00:15:27,150 --> 00:15:29,148
It's not coming up on my
phone, neither. I don't...
274
00:15:29,174 --> 00:15:30,963
- Holy mother Mary!
- What?
275
00:15:30,989 --> 00:15:33,521
Somebody raided KickStarter and they
burned the building to the ground!
276
00:15:33,547 --> 00:15:35,882
- What?
- Somebody killed KickStarter!
277
00:15:35,908 --> 00:15:38,944
Who the hell would burn
KickStarter to the ground?
278
00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:42,831
Oh my God! That weird little Jewy guy!
279
00:15:44,036 --> 00:15:45,606
Kyle!
280
00:15:49,797 --> 00:15:53,299
What the hell is wrong?
Can't find the server?
281
00:15:53,325 --> 00:15:56,438
- KickStarter.
- You son of a bitch!
282
00:15:56,464 --> 00:15:58,717
- What?
- You broke KickStarter.
283
00:15:58,743 --> 00:16:00,373
No, I just can't get it to load.
284
00:16:00,399 --> 00:16:02,790
Nobody can, it's gone!
You just couldn't take it
285
00:16:02,816 --> 00:16:05,178
that our company was more
successful than yours would ever be.
286
00:16:05,204 --> 00:16:06,856
My company was on KickStarter, too.
287
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,924
- Why would I give rid of it?
- Well somebody did!
288
00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:11,652
It doesn't matter you guys.
289
00:16:11,817 --> 00:16:14,019
There's something a
lot more important here.
290
00:16:14,653 --> 00:16:18,628
Do you guys remember when we first
decided to start a company together?
291
00:16:18,793 --> 00:16:20,730
We all had a common goal.
292
00:16:20,765 --> 00:16:23,788
And we are not gonna let anything
stop us from getting to bro down.
293
00:16:23,814 --> 00:16:28,749
But somewhere between starting up
and selling out we... we lost our way.
294
00:16:28,775 --> 00:16:30,508
We can't do this on our own.
295
00:16:30,636 --> 00:16:33,415
- We need each other.
- He's right.
296
00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:35,592
- We should do a merger.
- A merger?
297
00:16:35,618 --> 00:16:38,420
It's too late for that, you
guys. KickStarter is gone!
298
00:16:38,663 --> 00:16:40,964
We don't have a company.
We don't have anything!
299
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:45,771
Yes, we do! We have a sweet name.
300
00:16:49,107 --> 00:16:54,233
I was wrong, Cartman. Washington
Redskins is the perfect name.
301
00:16:54,272 --> 00:16:57,524
I think maybe I was just jealous
that I didn't come up with it.
302
00:16:59,493 --> 00:17:01,344
It is really sweet.
303
00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:03,641
And we always said that all
we needed was a sweet name
304
00:17:03,667 --> 00:17:05,618
and the rest would figure itself out.
305
00:17:05,644 --> 00:17:07,369
Yeah, we can do it fellas!
306
00:17:07,395 --> 00:17:10,377
- It'll be like old times.
- What do you say, Cartman?
307
00:17:16,290 --> 00:17:19,059
[Bleep] you!
308
00:17:19,191 --> 00:17:21,527
[Bleep] you everyone!
309
00:17:21,553 --> 00:17:23,893
Yes, [Bleep] you all. Thanks!
310
00:17:23,919 --> 00:17:26,798
How you stay relevant in
a volatile marketplace?
311
00:17:26,824 --> 00:17:29,230
As you know, our goal
at Washington Redskins,
312
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:31,701
is to not do anything, and
make money not doing it.
313
00:17:31,727 --> 00:17:35,210
When KickStarter went down many
saw their start-up projects die,
314
00:17:35,244 --> 00:17:38,567
but here at Washington
Redskins we saw opportunity.
315
00:17:38,593 --> 00:17:41,170
people still need a way to raise money
for their stupid start-up projects.
316
00:17:41,196 --> 00:17:45,105
And with the Redskins, you
can now, go fund yourself.
317
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:46,617
And the idea is simple.
318
00:17:46,643 --> 00:17:49,732
You, the people, go out
and raise all your own money
319
00:17:49,758 --> 00:17:53,027
- and give the Washington Redskins 5%.
- You will literally be giving
320
00:17:53,053 --> 00:17:55,137
us money for doing absolutely nothing.
321
00:17:55,163 --> 00:17:57,814
It is the biggest [Bleep]
you, we have ever come up with.
322
00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:00,361
But we didn't stop there.
Because a new company direction
323
00:18:00,387 --> 00:18:03,206
also means of course,
a new and improved logo.
324
00:18:07,765 --> 00:18:09,843
Go Redskins!
325
00:18:10,746 --> 00:18:14,048
A beautiful night in Arlington
Texas as the Dallas Cowboys get
326
00:18:14,074 --> 00:18:17,042
set to take on the Washington
Redskins. That is, of course
327
00:18:17,068 --> 00:18:18,929
Washington Redskins the football team,
328
00:18:18,955 --> 00:18:22,170
not Washington Redskins, the
audacious crowd funding company.
329
00:18:22,196 --> 00:18:24,464
Yeah, if you ask me
the Redskins are a scam.
330
00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:26,757
You're talking about the crowd
funding company, Redskins?
331
00:18:26,783 --> 00:18:27,710
That's right.
332
00:18:27,736 --> 00:18:31,039
And now you've got terrorist groups
like ISIS, using the Redskins to raise
333
00:18:31,065 --> 00:18:34,034
their money. I don't like
what the Redskins are doing.
334
00:18:34,060 --> 00:18:37,830
- Those Redskins.
- Yeah, whatever.
335
00:18:39,134 --> 00:18:43,455
It's over. Our name has been
reduced to a stereotype and a joke.
336
00:18:43,481 --> 00:18:46,773
- Yeah. Let's just go home.
- No.
337
00:18:46,799 --> 00:18:51,063
No, we cannot give up. We have
been through too much together!
338
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,104
We have fought eagle and bear!
339
00:18:53,130 --> 00:18:55,396
The eagles only beat us by three points.
340
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:58,804
Yeah, but I just feel
stupid wearing this now.
341
00:18:58,862 --> 00:19:01,192
- Yeah.
- Come on, guys.
342
00:19:01,528 --> 00:19:04,468
Where will we go? What will we do?
343
00:19:04,494 --> 00:19:08,917
Don't let them break
you! Don't let them win!
344
00:19:13,977 --> 00:19:16,608
And the Cowboys are still set
to kick off, but there doesn't
345
00:19:16,634 --> 00:19:18,331
seem to be anyone to kick off, to.
346
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:21,879
Yeah, and Jerry Jones must be
happy. This means a forefit.
347
00:19:21,905 --> 00:19:24,098
- Another win for the Cowboys.
- Wait a minute.
348
00:19:24,124 --> 00:19:27,626
It appears a lone Redskin is making
his way out of the locker room.
349
00:19:39,571 --> 00:19:42,244
The Cowboys kicking off.
350
00:19:53,405 --> 00:20:00,411
- Hut, hut hut hut!
- Ahghghgh!
351
00:20:01,907 --> 00:20:09,907
- Hut hut hut hut.
- Agahghahgh!
352
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:14,861
Hut, hut, hut.
353
00:20:18,001 --> 00:20:20,150
Just stay down!
354
00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:25,086
- For the love of God!
- Hut hut, huutttt...
355
00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,836
Stop! Make it stop!
356
00:20:28,862 --> 00:20:32,648
- Just stay down! - Just make
him stay down! - Go Redskins!
357
00:20:37,727 --> 00:20:40,002
Boy, this is the life, huh, guys?
358
00:20:40,028 --> 00:20:44,457
- We finally did it.
- I might just sit here until my ass fuses into the couch.
359
00:20:46,403 --> 00:20:48,879
What the hell is that?
360
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:53,091
Booo!
361
00:20:53,209 --> 00:20:55,414
- Boo!
- Whoa whoa what?
362
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:59,450
- Change your name!
- It doesn't belong in today's society!
363
00:20:59,476 --> 00:21:01,056
Change our name?
364
00:21:01,082 --> 00:21:02,668
But you all thought our name was sweet.
365
00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:05,613
There's nothing sweet about
a people who were decimated.
366
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:10,083
A once proud nation that finally
lost hope and left their leader
367
00:21:10,109 --> 00:21:13,575
to be massacred by Cowboys
in a defiant last stand.
368
00:21:13,609 --> 00:21:16,361
- When was this?
- Last night.
369
00:21:16,387 --> 00:21:20,056
Until you change your
name, we are asking all your
370
00:21:20,082 --> 00:21:23,017
- subscribers to boycott you.
- That's right.
371
00:21:23,505 --> 00:21:27,825
ISIS will no longer use your
insensitive company for its fund-raising
372
00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:29,076
Yeah.
373
00:21:29,102 --> 00:21:30,673
- All right!
- Good for you ISIS!
374
00:21:30,699 --> 00:21:36,527
- What the hell do we do?
- I guess we gotta go back to school.
375
00:21:36,867 --> 00:21:39,422
Yee!
376
00:21:39,906 --> 00:21:43,023
sync and corrections by dreaMaker7
www.addic7ed.com