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00:00:00,663 --> 00:00:03,530
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,121 --> 00:00:07,389
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:07,425 --> 00:00:10,960
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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00:00:10,995 --> 00:00:13,963
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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00:00:13,998 --> 00:00:17,466
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:22,338
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:22,373 --> 00:00:23,706
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:23,740 --> 00:00:24,177
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:24,178 --> 00:00:28,178
♪ Family Guy 13x01 ♪
The Simpsons Guy
Original Air Date on September 12, 2014
11
00:00:28,379 --> 00:00:34,379
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
12
00:00:34,380 --> 00:00:37,014
We now return
to the All in the Family
13
00:00:37,050 --> 00:00:39,183
and Modern Family
crossover episode.
14
00:00:39,219 --> 00:00:40,384
Hello,
Mr. Bunker.
15
00:00:40,420 --> 00:00:41,719
We brought
some hummus.
16
00:00:41,755 --> 00:00:43,721
Oh, yeah, I knew
them two was hummus
17
00:00:43,757 --> 00:00:45,523
the minute
they walked in the door.
18
00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:49,360
Yay! A crossover always brings
out the best in each show!
19
00:00:49,395 --> 00:00:51,763
It certainly doesn't smack
of desperation.
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00:00:51,798 --> 00:00:53,865
The priorities
are always creative,
21
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,399
and not driven
by marketing or...
22
00:00:55,435 --> 00:00:56,868
Okay, that's
enough.
23
00:00:56,903 --> 00:00:58,836
Oh, my God!
What is it, Peter?
24
00:00:58,872 --> 00:01:01,272
Look at this. Dennis the Menace
is just shoveling snow.
25
00:01:01,307 --> 00:01:02,874
He's being helpful.
26
00:01:02,909 --> 00:01:04,742
Might as well just
call it Dennis now.
27
00:01:04,778 --> 00:01:06,344
He's not a menace.
28
00:01:06,379 --> 00:01:08,212
Not every strip
is gonna be hilarious.
29
00:01:08,248 --> 00:01:10,681
You know something? I could
do better than these idiots.
30
00:01:10,717 --> 00:01:12,950
I should just go down to
the paper and sell 'em my own.
31
00:01:12,986 --> 00:01:15,186
Well, Peter, you might be
underestimating the difficulty
32
00:01:15,188 --> 00:01:16,754
of writing a comic strip.
33
00:01:16,790 --> 00:01:19,323
As someone who occasionally
dates the creative muse,
34
00:01:19,359 --> 00:01:22,593
I can vouch for the unforgiving
face of a blank sheet of paper.
35
00:01:22,629 --> 00:01:25,129
In fact, I think it was
William Faulkner who said...
36
00:01:25,165 --> 00:01:27,398
I'm back. I'm published.
Check it out.
37
00:01:30,870 --> 00:01:33,004
I call my comic
For Pete's Sake,
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00:01:33,039 --> 00:01:34,472
because it points out things
39
00:01:34,507 --> 00:01:37,341
that make you shake your head
and say, "For Pete's sake."
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00:01:37,377 --> 00:01:38,843
This one's for tomorrow.
41
00:01:42,882 --> 00:01:44,081
These are
good, Peter.
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00:01:44,117 --> 00:01:46,017
I like how
you retell tired old gags
43
00:01:46,052 --> 00:01:48,085
with a detached,
ironic approach.
44
00:01:48,121 --> 00:01:49,954
Yeah, plus,
it's all brand-new jokes
45
00:01:49,989 --> 00:01:51,522
that I'm really,
really serious about.
46
00:01:51,558 --> 00:01:52,890
Well, good for you, Peter,
47
00:01:52,926 --> 00:01:54,859
but how did you get published
so quickly?
48
00:01:54,894 --> 00:01:57,228
Ah, the editor of the paper
owed me a favor.
49
00:01:57,263 --> 00:01:58,896
I got him a picture
of Spider-Man.
50
00:01:58,932 --> 00:02:01,566
Why can't anyone get me
a picture of the Spider-Man?!
51
00:02:01,601 --> 00:02:03,234
Here you go.
52
00:02:05,872 --> 00:02:09,407
Yeah, I got a whole subreddit
of superhero thong shots.
53
00:02:12,579 --> 00:02:14,779
Here's your beer, Peter.
54
00:02:14,814 --> 00:02:16,214
Thanks, Jerome.
What do I owe you?
55
00:02:16,249 --> 00:02:18,716
Nah, you already
paid me... in laughs.
56
00:02:23,723 --> 00:02:25,256
I do a lot of island ones.
57
00:02:25,291 --> 00:02:26,524
Peter, you
should do one
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00:02:26,559 --> 00:02:28,593
where a baseball player
can't steal second,
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00:02:28,628 --> 00:02:30,328
'cause he's
on probation.
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00:02:30,363 --> 00:02:31,929
For drug crimes.
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00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:33,231
Political.
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00:02:33,266 --> 00:02:34,932
Yeah, you put an island
in there, you're in business.
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00:02:34,968 --> 00:02:36,701
Hey, how about one
where you draw a sock,
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00:02:36,736 --> 00:02:38,202
and it says "Sock it to me,"
65
00:02:38,238 --> 00:02:40,571
or-or maybe draw Lois
taking a hot-tub dump,
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00:02:40,607 --> 00:02:42,440
and she just says whatever?
67
00:02:48,348 --> 00:02:50,348
Peter, your comic
in this morning's paper
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00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,149
is really offensive.
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00:02:56,823 --> 00:02:58,456
That's not funny, Peter.
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00:02:58,491 --> 00:03:00,124
Ah, you're just not
getting it, Lois.
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00:03:00,159 --> 00:03:02,059
See, his wife washed
dishes for him.
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00:03:02,095 --> 00:03:03,594
Oh, for Pete's sake.
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00:03:03,630 --> 00:03:06,130
Aha! There you go.
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00:03:06,165 --> 00:03:07,398
Peter, you should see this.
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00:03:07,433 --> 00:03:08,733
Your dishwasher cartoon
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00:03:08,768 --> 00:03:10,401
has really outraged
the online community.
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00:03:10,436 --> 00:03:11,669
What?
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00:03:11,704 --> 00:03:13,070
Gosh, it's not
like the Internet
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00:03:13,106 --> 00:03:15,139
to go crazy about something
small and stupid.
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00:03:15,174 --> 00:03:16,507
Peter, you have
to apologize.
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00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:17,808
What, because of a joke?
82
00:03:17,844 --> 00:03:19,043
Not just a joke, Peter.
83
00:03:19,078 --> 00:03:21,312
A joke that angered some bloggers.
84
00:03:21,347 --> 00:03:22,813
Well, I guess this
ain't the first time
85
00:03:22,849 --> 00:03:24,916
I got in trouble for something
I said about a woman.
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00:03:26,452 --> 00:03:28,753
Oh, good.
We can steal.
87
00:03:34,694 --> 00:03:36,494
And welcome back
to The Flow.
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00:03:36,529 --> 00:03:37,762
We're talking
to Peter Griffin,
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00:03:37,797 --> 00:03:39,764
the artist behind
For Pete's Sake,
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00:03:39,799 --> 00:03:42,600
which has caused outrage
with a misogynistic comic.
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00:03:42,635 --> 00:03:44,135
Here's a video
of some outrage.
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00:03:48,074 --> 00:03:49,974
Boo!
93
00:03:50,009 --> 00:03:51,776
Yeah, those boos
don't hurt so much
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00:03:51,811 --> 00:03:54,045
'cause you spent two minutes
of the last segment
95
00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,813
applauding a red velvet cake.
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00:03:55,848 --> 00:03:57,281
Ah!
97
00:03:59,552 --> 00:04:00,952
And if that's not bad enough,
98
00:04:00,987 --> 00:04:02,553
this morning's cartoon
is even worse.
99
00:04:02,588 --> 00:04:03,988
Let's put that up.
100
00:04:09,996 --> 00:04:11,796
Mr. Griffin,
do you really think
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00:04:11,831 --> 00:04:13,497
this is an
appropriate cartoon
102
00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:15,333
to run on Gloria Steinem's
half-birthday?
103
00:04:15,368 --> 00:04:16,500
You sound angry.
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00:04:16,536 --> 00:04:18,135
Did one of your
friends get engaged?
105
00:04:18,171 --> 00:04:20,972
You have no idea how offensive
you are to women, do you?
106
00:04:21,007 --> 00:04:22,173
What?! I love women.
107
00:04:22,208 --> 00:04:24,408
I bet I can name more
porn stars than you.
108
00:04:24,444 --> 00:04:26,711
But-but don't tell my wife
how many porn stars I know.
109
00:04:26,746 --> 00:04:28,145
I'll get in a
lot of trouble.
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00:04:28,181 --> 00:04:29,413
I know all of
'em, though.
111
00:04:29,449 --> 00:04:30,581
There are people
112
00:04:30,616 --> 00:04:32,249
who just started an hour
ago, and I know 'em.
113
00:04:35,288 --> 00:04:37,021
Your cartoon is sexist!
114
00:04:37,056 --> 00:04:38,656
Down with misogyny!
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00:04:38,691 --> 00:04:42,393
It wasn't even funny, and
I have a great sense of humor.
116
00:04:42,428 --> 00:04:44,662
Man, they seem really upset.
117
00:04:44,697 --> 00:04:46,497
I was just trying
to make people laugh.
118
00:04:46,532 --> 00:04:48,366
Dad, I'm worried
they're gonna hurt us.
119
00:04:48,401 --> 00:04:49,734
No, no,
they're angry, Chris,
120
00:04:49,769 --> 00:04:51,736
but they ain't
gonna get violent.
121
00:04:51,771 --> 00:04:54,071
Oh, cool!
That brick I ordered.
122
00:04:54,107 --> 00:04:56,140
Wait a minute.
I didn't order this brick.
123
00:04:56,175 --> 00:04:57,375
You may be right, Chris.
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00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:58,943
Peter, this is
getting out of hand.
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00:04:58,978 --> 00:05:00,611
I don't feel safe
in my own home.
126
00:05:00,646 --> 00:05:02,913
Maybe we should get out
of Quahog for a while.
127
00:05:02,949 --> 00:05:04,248
You know, she's right.
128
00:05:04,283 --> 00:05:05,950
We should get out of town
till this all blows over.
129
00:05:05,985 --> 00:05:08,052
Okay, we'll go,
but just give me a minute.
130
00:05:08,087 --> 00:05:10,421
I just want to turn in
my last For Pete's Sake.
131
00:05:13,359 --> 00:05:16,961
going out on top amid a flurry
of gambling rumors.
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00:05:28,505 --> 00:05:30,103
Peter, where are we?
133
00:05:30,103 --> 00:05:31,545
I don't know.
I just woke up, too.
134
00:05:31,546 --> 00:05:33,413
I tied the steering
wheel to my belt.
135
00:05:33,447 --> 00:05:36,248
I figure we've been on the
road about 20% of the time.
136
00:05:36,283 --> 00:05:38,384
Dad, how long
until we can go back home?
137
00:05:38,419 --> 00:05:39,718
Um, I don't know.
138
00:05:39,754 --> 00:05:41,520
How long do women
hold grudges?
139
00:05:41,555 --> 00:05:43,088
Not very long,
I'm guessing.
140
00:05:43,124 --> 00:05:45,057
Oh, Peter, we've been
driving all night.
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00:05:45,092 --> 00:05:46,692
Pull over
to that gas station.
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00:05:46,727 --> 00:05:48,827
We can use the bathroom
and stretch our legs.
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00:05:48,863 --> 00:05:50,029
You got it, babe.
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00:05:50,064 --> 00:05:51,497
Did you call me "babe"?
145
00:05:51,532 --> 00:05:52,331
I did.
146
00:05:52,366 --> 00:05:54,166
Oh, Peter.
147
00:05:55,670 --> 00:05:57,269
Ew! Mom!
148
00:05:57,304 --> 00:06:00,039
You'll never
have this, Meg.
149
00:06:02,877 --> 00:06:04,510
All right, back
in the car, kids.
150
00:06:04,545 --> 00:06:06,612
For this leg of the
trip, I was thinking
151
00:06:06,647 --> 00:06:09,048
of driving with my shirt
off like New Mexico trash.
152
00:06:12,286 --> 00:06:14,219
Oh, my God!
Our car!
153
00:06:14,255 --> 00:06:15,621
Someone's stealing it.
154
00:06:15,656 --> 00:06:16,822
Ah, crap.
155
00:06:16,857 --> 00:06:18,023
Although, I got to say,
156
00:06:18,059 --> 00:06:20,359
you never get to see
somebody else driving your car.
157
00:06:20,394 --> 00:06:21,994
It's kind of cool.
Kind of weird.
158
00:06:22,029 --> 00:06:23,228
We're stuck
here, Peter!
159
00:06:23,264 --> 00:06:24,963
And we don't even
know where we are.
160
00:06:24,999 --> 00:06:27,332
Well, there's a sign.
161
00:06:44,085 --> 00:06:46,185
Huh, guess we're in a town
called Springfield.
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00:06:46,220 --> 00:06:48,187
Springfield, eh?
What state?
163
00:06:48,222 --> 00:06:50,389
I can't imagine
we're allowed to say.
164
00:07:14,081 --> 00:07:15,914
Well, this Springfield place
seems nice.
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00:07:15,950 --> 00:07:17,282
We should visit here again.
166
00:07:17,318 --> 00:07:19,685
I don't know, Lois. This
seems like a one-shot deal.
167
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:21,553
Guys, we ain't here
for fun, all right?
168
00:07:21,589 --> 00:07:23,889
We're here to find the police,
report our stolen car.
169
00:07:23,924 --> 00:07:25,324
Oh, and don't
drink the water.
170
00:07:25,359 --> 00:07:27,493
Everybody around here looks
like they have hepatitis.
171
00:07:27,528 --> 00:07:29,061
Dad, I'm
starving.
172
00:07:29,096 --> 00:07:30,429
Can we get
some food?!
173
00:07:30,464 --> 00:07:32,798
Lois, whip out your boob,
give the boy his lunch.
174
00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:33,999
Listen to
the man.
175
00:07:34,034 --> 00:07:35,734
Yeah, Lois,
listen to the man.
176
00:07:35,770 --> 00:07:38,070
How about we just go into
that store there?
177
00:07:41,976 --> 00:07:43,642
Uh, uh, excuse me?
178
00:07:43,677 --> 00:07:45,878
Hello. Welcome
to the Kwik-E-Mart.
179
00:07:49,150 --> 00:07:51,483
Oh, I am so sorry.
Let me unplug that.
180
00:07:51,519 --> 00:07:53,852
Oh, such a nuisance!
181
00:07:53,888 --> 00:07:55,587
Hello, funny-sounding
Cleveland.
182
00:07:55,623 --> 00:07:57,022
What's the specialty
of the house?
183
00:07:57,057 --> 00:07:59,491
To you, I recommend...
the donut.
184
00:08:01,796 --> 00:08:03,162
Ooh!
185
00:08:03,197 --> 00:08:04,530
Yum!
186
00:08:04,565 --> 00:08:06,865
Have you guys seriously
never heard of donuts?
187
00:08:06,901 --> 00:08:08,634
These are made
fresh every day.
188
00:08:08,669 --> 00:08:10,636
And then, several days
later, we receive them
189
00:08:10,671 --> 00:08:12,437
and make them available
for purchase.
190
00:08:12,473 --> 00:08:14,206
Hey, are these...
are these free?
191
00:08:14,241 --> 00:08:17,376
'Cause I forgot to mention, all
our money is in our stolen car.
192
00:08:17,411 --> 00:08:18,911
Thank you. Come again.
193
00:08:18,946 --> 00:08:22,014
Sir, we can pay you back for
the donuts when we find our car.
194
00:08:22,049 --> 00:08:24,583
Do you think that I am moved
by your sob story?
195
00:08:24,618 --> 00:08:26,318
I come from a country
where the words
196
00:08:26,353 --> 00:08:28,187
for "sewage" and "beverage"
are the same.
197
00:08:28,222 --> 00:08:30,022
I'll pay for their donuts.
198
00:08:33,828 --> 00:08:35,661
Thank you so
much, sir.
199
00:08:35,696 --> 00:08:37,329
For what?
I didn't say anything.
200
00:08:37,364 --> 00:08:38,497
Oh.
201
00:08:38,532 --> 00:08:40,365
It was me.
202
00:08:43,604 --> 00:08:46,605
How come this convenience store
has so many shadowy parts?
203
00:08:46,640 --> 00:08:49,875
Apu, a dozen donuts for
our albino visitors.
204
00:08:49,910 --> 00:08:51,343
Wow! For real?!
205
00:08:51,378 --> 00:08:54,346
No man should be so poor
he cannot pay for a donut.
206
00:08:54,381 --> 00:08:55,881
I was once you.
207
00:08:55,916 --> 00:08:57,316
I couldn't afford donuts.
208
00:08:57,351 --> 00:08:59,651
Tell them what I did, Apu.
He stole the donuts.
209
00:08:59,687 --> 00:09:01,386
I stole the donuts.
210
00:09:01,422 --> 00:09:02,754
So, here you go.
211
00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:04,556
12... ten...
eight donuts.
212
00:09:04,592 --> 00:09:06,859
That's very nice
of you, Mister...?
213
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:08,861
Simpson. Homer Simpson.
214
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:10,262
We're the Griffins.
215
00:09:10,297 --> 00:09:12,831
Peter, Lois, Stewie, and then,
uh, you know, the others.
216
00:09:12,867 --> 00:09:14,700
Brian, I guess.
217
00:09:14,735 --> 00:09:16,935
Well, enjoy
your... six donuts.
218
00:09:18,639 --> 00:09:21,106
Mmm. Yummy... donut.
219
00:09:21,141 --> 00:09:23,508
That's pretty good,
but try it like this.
220
00:09:24,445 --> 00:09:27,046
Mmm. Donut.
221
00:09:28,082 --> 00:09:30,849
Mmm. Donut.
222
00:09:30,885 --> 00:09:35,788
I think you and I are
gonna get along just okay.
223
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:41,710
Yeah, all right,
we'll be there.
224
00:09:41,745 --> 00:09:44,112
But if you want
to save us a little time,
225
00:09:44,147 --> 00:09:47,182
you can start
tracing his body with chalk.
226
00:09:47,217 --> 00:09:50,218
This is the
police station.
227
00:09:50,253 --> 00:09:54,656
Be careful. I think some
of them might be cops.
228
00:09:54,691 --> 00:09:56,524
Oh, hey there.
Cool hat, weird nose.
229
00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,026
Hey, listen,
my car got stolen.
230
00:09:57,761 --> 00:09:59,094
I was hoping
you could help.
231
00:09:59,129 --> 00:10:00,462
Well, we got
a procedure
232
00:10:00,497 --> 00:10:02,297
for handling alleged
crimes around here.
233
00:10:02,332 --> 00:10:03,999
Let's see. Uh, did
you contribute
234
00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:05,500
to the policeman's ball?
235
00:10:05,536 --> 00:10:06,902
No.
236
00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:09,404
Oh, that's too bad,
'cause he really needs one.
237
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,440
He had an accident last week.
238
00:10:11,475 --> 00:10:14,309
Yeah, I tried to jump
over a parking meter.
239
00:10:14,344 --> 00:10:16,011
Yeah, all right,
well, with no contribution,
240
00:10:16,046 --> 00:10:19,114
your report goes right
into the circular file.
241
00:10:19,149 --> 00:10:20,682
I got to be honest.
242
00:10:20,717 --> 00:10:22,350
I don't usually check this file,
243
00:10:22,386 --> 00:10:25,420
so it might be a while
until we find that car of yours.
244
00:10:25,456 --> 00:10:28,690
Uh, Chief, that excuse to
leave you asked for is here.
245
00:10:28,725 --> 00:10:30,525
Oh, sorry,
I got to take this.
246
00:10:30,561 --> 00:10:32,961
It never ends.
247
00:10:36,016 --> 00:10:37,249
Oh, thank you so much
248
00:10:37,284 --> 00:10:39,384
for putting us up
until we find our car.
249
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:42,120
And thank you for not being
a band of hippie murderers.
250
00:10:42,156 --> 00:10:43,789
And now
this again.
251
00:10:43,824 --> 00:10:46,258
You bring home two bands
of hippie murderers,
252
00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:48,093
and suddenly,
that's all you're about.
253
00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:50,095
Well, what do you say we have
some lunch?
254
00:10:50,130 --> 00:10:51,430
Where's
Bart?
255
00:10:51,465 --> 00:10:53,065
Well, he's at
camp all week.
256
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:55,100
I'm sorry you
won't get to meet him.
257
00:10:59,039 --> 00:11:01,073
Got kicked out of camp.
258
00:11:01,108 --> 00:11:04,176
I superglued my counselor's
butt cheeks together.
259
00:11:04,211 --> 00:11:05,444
That's terrible.
260
00:11:05,479 --> 00:11:08,613
But how did you even get access
to his butt cheeks?
261
00:11:08,649 --> 00:11:10,849
I'm not the only one
who got kicked out of camp.
262
00:11:10,884 --> 00:11:11,983
This is Bart.
263
00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,385
Honey, your hands
are filthy.
264
00:11:13,420 --> 00:11:14,920
Go wash up
for lunch.
265
00:11:14,955 --> 00:11:16,421
Eat my shorts!
266
00:11:16,457 --> 00:11:17,756
"Eat my shorts."
267
00:11:17,791 --> 00:11:20,092
I love that!
Is that a popular expression,
268
00:11:20,127 --> 00:11:22,561
like "what the deuce"?
Probably more popular.
269
00:11:22,596 --> 00:11:24,696
Probably... probably
way more popular.
270
00:11:24,732 --> 00:11:27,399
Well, here's my room.
271
00:11:27,434 --> 00:11:29,134
Hey, you want to see
my weapons closet?
272
00:11:29,169 --> 00:11:31,436
You have a
weapons closet, too?
273
00:11:39,646 --> 00:11:42,547
Ouch! Jesus
heard my mean thought!
274
00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:44,750
A slingshot!
It's so simple and pure.
275
00:11:44,785 --> 00:11:46,885
He doesn't need lasers
or time machines,
276
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,488
just gum balls and marbles
and balls of string.
277
00:11:49,523 --> 00:11:51,757
He's like something
out of Mark Twain!
278
00:11:51,792 --> 00:11:53,792
Whose real name
was Samuel Clemens.
279
00:11:53,827 --> 00:11:55,994
How... how does that further
this conversation?
280
00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:58,397
Hey, you want to make
a prank phone call?
281
00:11:58,432 --> 00:11:59,931
Ooh, prank phone call!
282
00:12:04,805 --> 00:12:06,505
Moe's Tavern.
Moe speaking.
283
00:12:06,540 --> 00:12:08,206
Uh, yeah, I'm looking
for a friend,
284
00:12:08,242 --> 00:12:10,842
last name Keebum,
first name Lee.
285
00:12:10,878 --> 00:12:12,144
Uh, hang on, I'll check.
286
00:12:12,179 --> 00:12:14,246
Hey, guys, do I got
a Lee Keebum?
287
00:12:14,281 --> 00:12:16,948
Come on, look at the stools--
is there a Lee Keebum?
288
00:12:16,984 --> 00:12:19,785
Somebody check the rear--
I know I got a Lee Keebum.
289
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:22,020
Then you probably shouldn't
be handling food.
290
00:12:25,926 --> 00:12:27,459
Oh, my God,
that's amazing!
291
00:12:27,494 --> 00:12:29,027
That's the coolest
thing ever!
292
00:12:29,062 --> 00:12:30,896
Hey, I want to try.
Okay.
293
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,466
Moe's Tavern.
294
00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:37,169
Hello, Moe?
Your sister's being raped.
295
00:12:37,204 --> 00:12:39,771
Is that... is that one?
296
00:12:39,807 --> 00:12:41,239
So, this is my room.
297
00:12:41,275 --> 00:12:42,841
Please excuse the mess.
298
00:12:42,876 --> 00:12:45,043
There, that's better.
299
00:12:45,078 --> 00:12:47,045
Look at all these trophies!
300
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,114
There must be,
like, 20 of them!
301
00:12:49,149 --> 00:12:52,451
23. But I'm sure you have
a lot of trophies of your own.
302
00:12:52,486 --> 00:12:54,719
No. I'm not good
at anything.
303
00:12:54,755 --> 00:12:57,622
Oh, Meg, I'm sure
you're good at something.
304
00:12:57,658 --> 00:12:59,624
We just have
to find out what it is.
305
00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:03,094
After all, Nelson Mandela said
it's our obligation to shine.
306
00:13:03,130 --> 00:13:05,430
You mean like my
oily face and back?
307
00:13:05,466 --> 00:13:07,866
No. Maybe don't sit
on my bedspread, please.
308
00:13:07,901 --> 00:13:11,136
But I mean the light within you
that makes you an individual.
309
00:13:11,171 --> 00:13:13,638
Meg, you need to know
that you matter.
310
00:13:13,674 --> 00:13:16,208
Really? No one's ever
told me I mattered before.
311
00:13:16,243 --> 00:13:18,109
That's why you
have to say it.
312
00:13:18,145 --> 00:13:20,479
So say it.
I matter.
313
00:13:20,514 --> 00:13:21,514
Louder!
314
00:13:21,515 --> 00:13:22,781
I matter!
315
00:13:22,816 --> 00:13:25,984
Shut up, Meg! You don't matter!
316
00:13:43,403 --> 00:13:46,204
Hey, couldn't help but notice
there's no seat for me.
317
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,941
Oh. I was under the impression
that you were a dog.
318
00:13:49,977 --> 00:13:51,843
You're right to have
that reaction, Marge.
319
00:13:51,879 --> 00:13:54,746
Why, I just figured,
at home I sit with the family,
320
00:13:54,781 --> 00:13:56,081
so I assumed that...
321
00:13:56,116 --> 00:13:58,183
Have you ever drunk
out of a toilet?
322
00:13:58,218 --> 00:14:00,585
I-I don't see what that has
to do with the discussion.
323
00:14:00,621 --> 00:14:02,420
Dogs eat in the kitchen.
324
00:14:02,456 --> 00:14:04,389
Yeah, dogs eat
in the kitchen.
325
00:14:04,424 --> 00:14:07,058
Y-You know, you're eating
mostly horse hooves
326
00:14:07,094 --> 00:14:09,127
and tallow, right?
You cool with that?
327
00:14:09,162 --> 00:14:11,329
Oh, and the ones that
fall on the floor,
328
00:14:11,365 --> 00:14:12,998
you just eat those
up, too, huh?
329
00:14:13,033 --> 00:14:14,466
Oh, yeah, yeah, you do.
330
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:16,668
So, is that... is that,
like, your thing?
331
00:14:16,703 --> 00:14:19,037
You eat loud?
332
00:14:19,072 --> 00:14:21,740
I... I'm-I'm sorry,
I don't know what...
333
00:14:21,775 --> 00:14:23,074
That's a gutter language.
334
00:14:23,110 --> 00:14:25,377
Are you making friends
in there, Brian?
335
00:14:25,412 --> 00:14:27,178
Yep, he's a lot
of laughs.
336
00:14:27,214 --> 00:14:29,247
Wow, you work at a
nuclear power plant?
337
00:14:29,283 --> 00:14:30,916
What's that?
I don't know.
338
00:14:30,951 --> 00:14:32,117
Pretty impressive.
339
00:14:32,152 --> 00:14:33,852
I just work
at a brewery.
340
00:14:33,887 --> 00:14:36,521
Oh, my God,
you get to work with beer?!
341
00:14:36,557 --> 00:14:38,957
Wow! What's beer really like?
342
00:14:38,992 --> 00:14:41,226
Eh, he's got a big head.
343
00:14:41,261 --> 00:14:44,129
Hey, you know-- aw, damn it,
I don't have a comic strip anymore.
344
00:14:44,164 --> 00:14:47,599
So, still no word from the
police on your stolen car?
345
00:14:47,634 --> 00:14:49,935
The cops
here are a joke.
346
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:52,704
I bet you and me can find
your car on our own.
347
00:14:52,739 --> 00:14:54,172
You think so?
Yeah.
348
00:14:54,207 --> 00:14:56,241
'Cause Homer Simpson
and Peter Griffin
349
00:14:56,276 --> 00:14:57,976
are a great team!
350
00:14:58,011 --> 00:15:00,245
A greater team than...
351
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,714
Than...
Uh-huh, keep going.
352
00:15:02,749 --> 00:15:04,783
Than... something else.
353
00:15:04,818 --> 00:15:07,052
Something else?
I... don't know what this is.
354
00:15:07,087 --> 00:15:09,020
O-Okay,
I'll do it.
355
00:15:09,056 --> 00:15:11,656
Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin
are an even greater team
356
00:15:11,692 --> 00:15:13,158
than the Air Force!
357
00:15:15,195 --> 00:15:17,729
Hold steady.
I got him in my sights.
358
00:15:22,769 --> 00:15:24,402
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah-heh-heh!
359
00:15:24,438 --> 00:15:26,671
Yeah, we did it.
What's he doing here?
360
00:15:26,707 --> 00:15:29,474
We got to carry him,
'cause he can't fly on his own.
361
00:15:29,509 --> 00:15:31,743
We let that other guy try,
and look what happened.
362
00:15:31,778 --> 00:15:35,447
No, no, no, no, no, no...!
363
00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:43,355
Wow, they've made a lot
of changes to Quahog!
364
00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:45,457
Chris, we're
in a different town.
365
00:15:45,492 --> 00:15:46,625
Oh...
366
00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:48,893
Is that why there was
blood in my stool?
367
00:15:48,929 --> 00:15:51,029
No. That-that sounds
like a separate issue.
368
00:15:51,064 --> 00:15:52,998
God, I can't believe
I got stuck
369
00:15:53,033 --> 00:15:54,866
taking their stupid dog
for a walk.
370
00:15:54,901 --> 00:15:57,569
Stupid? Well, I don't know,
I think he's kind of fun.
371
00:15:57,604 --> 00:15:59,504
What, are you kidding?
He doesn't do anything.
372
00:15:59,539 --> 00:16:01,206
You know,
it's not his fault, though.
373
00:16:01,241 --> 00:16:02,707
He doesn't know any better.
374
00:16:02,743 --> 00:16:04,809
He's been on a leash
his whole life.
375
00:16:04,845 --> 00:16:07,112
Hey, you know what?
Come here, Santa's Stupid Name.
376
00:16:07,147 --> 00:16:10,682
You're a grown dog--
start acting like one.
377
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,186
Come here, boy.
378
00:16:16,556 --> 00:16:18,089
Hey, stop that dog!
379
00:16:19,393 --> 00:16:21,660
Sorry. We're
on a smoke break.
380
00:16:24,064 --> 00:16:26,231
Nothing beats
smoking and standing.
381
00:16:26,266 --> 00:16:29,834
Although smoking and sitting
does have its moments.
382
00:16:29,870 --> 00:16:33,038
You always have
to argue with me.
383
00:16:37,644 --> 00:16:39,444
Oh, thank goodness!
384
00:16:39,479 --> 00:16:43,014
I was starting to think
you wouldn't show, Dr. Dog.
385
00:16:47,287 --> 00:16:50,955
Boy, you really like
to bleed, huh, guy?
386
00:16:57,731 --> 00:17:00,632
Hey, there's a dog
in the dining area!
387
00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:02,200
How'd that happen?
388
00:17:02,235 --> 00:17:04,069
Get back in there.
389
00:17:08,975 --> 00:17:10,575
Which one is Santa's
Little Helper?
390
00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:13,211
I don't know. You're the one who
sniffed his butt.
391
00:17:13,246 --> 00:17:14,913
Yeah, for, like,
a second!
392
00:17:17,217 --> 00:17:18,550
Damn it, he's gone.
393
00:17:18,585 --> 00:17:20,018
We're screwed.
394
00:17:20,053 --> 00:17:22,887
Welcome to Krusty Burger.
May I take your order?
395
00:17:22,923 --> 00:17:25,623
Your voice
sounds stupid.
396
00:17:45,479 --> 00:17:47,278
Oh, my God,
that was great!
397
00:17:47,314 --> 00:17:50,248
I mean, unless you think it sucked,
in which case it sucked.
398
00:17:50,283 --> 00:17:51,583
It was all right, dude.
399
00:17:51,618 --> 00:17:52,884
Yeah, dude.
400
00:17:52,919 --> 00:17:55,086
So, you know, um,
I'm only wearing this diaper
401
00:17:55,122 --> 00:17:57,889
as a dare, you know-- it's not,
like, an everyday thing.
402
00:17:57,924 --> 00:18:00,291
Hey, loser, I copied
off your spelling test
403
00:18:00,327 --> 00:18:02,594
and got a D!
404
00:18:02,629 --> 00:18:04,496
Haw-haw!
405
00:18:04,531 --> 00:18:07,465
I say, how long has that boy
been treating you like that?
406
00:18:07,501 --> 00:18:12,137
Uh...
about 24 years.
407
00:18:13,874 --> 00:18:15,273
Aah!
408
00:18:19,746 --> 00:18:22,313
Just who I was
looking for!
409
00:18:28,021 --> 00:18:30,288
Cowabunga.
410
00:18:33,481 --> 00:18:35,581
All right, Peter, if we're
gonna find your car,
411
00:18:35,617 --> 00:18:37,217
we got to think
like a car.
412
00:18:37,252 --> 00:18:39,686
So let's fill up
at that gas station.
413
00:18:47,162 --> 00:18:49,129
I feel sick.
Keep drinking.
414
00:18:49,164 --> 00:18:50,964
I prepaid 40 bucks!
415
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,999
Homer, maybe
we're doing this wrong.
416
00:18:56,905 --> 00:18:58,572
Oh, crap.
417
00:19:03,745 --> 00:19:06,780
Haben Sie Homer und
Peter MIT Chevron pump?
418
00:19:11,587 --> 00:19:15,555
Okay, I got a great idea how
we're gonna find my stolen car.
419
00:19:15,591 --> 00:19:18,792
We'll throw a car wash--
free for stolen cars!
420
00:19:18,827 --> 00:19:22,362
And then when we find it,
we'll actually charge the guy!
421
00:19:32,174 --> 00:19:33,940
Well, none of these
is my car,
422
00:19:33,976 --> 00:19:36,243
but we promised
these scumbags a show.
423
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,561
♪ Love is like a bomb, baby,
come on, get it on ♪
424
00:19:54,596 --> 00:19:57,330
♪ Livin' like a lover
with a radar phone ♪
425
00:19:57,366 --> 00:19:59,499
♪ Lookin' like a tramp,
like a video vamp ♪
426
00:19:59,535 --> 00:20:02,969
♪ Demolition woman,
can I be your man? ♪
427
00:20:04,273 --> 00:20:05,906
♪ Yeah! ♪
428
00:20:07,943 --> 00:20:11,778
♪ So come on, take a bottle ♪
429
00:20:11,813 --> 00:20:14,347
♪ Shake it up ♪
430
00:20:14,383 --> 00:20:17,050
♪ Break the bubble ♪
431
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,853
♪ Break it up ♪
432
00:20:19,888 --> 00:20:21,154
♪ Pour some ♪
433
00:20:21,189 --> 00:20:22,422
♪ Sugar on me ♪
434
00:20:22,457 --> 00:20:25,325
♪ Ooh, in the name of love ♪
435
00:20:25,360 --> 00:20:27,027
♪ Pour some ♪
436
00:20:27,062 --> 00:20:28,828
♪ Sugar on me ♪
437
00:20:28,864 --> 00:20:30,597
♪ Come on, fire me up ♪
438
00:20:30,632 --> 00:20:32,332
♪ Pour your ♪
439
00:20:32,367 --> 00:20:34,634
♪ Sugar on me ♪
440
00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:36,903
♪ I can't get enough... ♪
441
00:20:36,939 --> 00:20:40,006
Hey, Chief, we could arrest every single
car thief in Springfield.
442
00:20:40,042 --> 00:20:41,841
After the show, Lou,
443
00:20:41,877 --> 00:20:44,210
after the show.
444
00:20:55,023 --> 00:20:59,759
I don't know!
I feel like I'm good at nothing!
445
00:20:59,795 --> 00:21:02,596
Hey, everyone gets down
on themselves sometimes.
446
00:21:02,631 --> 00:21:06,433
Those are the days
I'm glad I have my saxophone.
447
00:21:06,468 --> 00:21:07,468
Saxophone?
448
00:21:07,469 --> 00:21:09,135
Yeah. My dad
gave it to me.
449
00:21:09,171 --> 00:21:11,338
My dad once gave me
a gun to hide.
450
00:21:11,373 --> 00:21:12,973
That's terrible.
451
00:21:13,008 --> 00:21:15,175
Whenever I feel
any pain or loneliness,
452
00:21:15,210 --> 00:21:18,078
I just play away the blues
on my saxophone.
453
00:21:18,113 --> 00:21:20,680
Huh. I usually
just beat up a cat.
454
00:21:21,883 --> 00:21:24,751
Good thing we don't have a cat.
455
00:21:24,786 --> 00:21:27,420
Why don't you
give it a shot?
456
00:22:03,959 --> 00:22:05,425
Was that good?
457
00:22:05,460 --> 00:22:08,028
It was okay, but it would
be a shame to waste
458
00:22:08,063 --> 00:22:11,564
such great butcher's arms
on a musical instrument.
459
00:22:19,074 --> 00:22:21,341
Wakey, wakey.
460
00:22:21,376 --> 00:22:22,742
Good morning.
461
00:22:22,778 --> 00:22:25,145
You and I have quite a day
ahead of us.
462
00:22:36,591 --> 00:22:40,427
Oh, that's a clown I painted,
so you know I'm truly insane.
463
00:22:40,462 --> 00:22:42,696
You know, Nelson,
464
00:22:42,731 --> 00:22:45,098
I don't doubt that you've
had a twisted childhood.
465
00:22:45,133 --> 00:22:46,499
Most evil people have.
466
00:22:46,535 --> 00:22:48,835
Hitler, Manson, Jaden Smith.
467
00:22:48,870 --> 00:22:50,904
But you're different
from them, aren't you?
468
00:22:50,939 --> 00:22:53,339
Because they're rail-thin,
and you're fat.
469
00:22:53,375 --> 00:22:55,208
You're a little piggy,
aren't you, Nelson?
470
00:22:55,243 --> 00:22:57,210
In fact, I bet
you're hungry right now.
471
00:22:57,245 --> 00:22:59,512
What's that?
472
00:23:00,549 --> 00:23:01,781
I could eat.
473
00:23:01,817 --> 00:23:03,450
Good. Because you're going
474
00:23:03,485 --> 00:23:06,553
to eat... my... shorts.
475
00:23:14,262 --> 00:23:16,896
Homer, you're never going
to believe what we did.
476
00:23:16,932 --> 00:23:19,632
We saw a movie
in the afternoon!
477
00:23:19,668 --> 00:23:21,768
Yeah, we saw
Surf's Up 2.
478
00:23:21,803 --> 00:23:24,437
Marge covered her eyes every
time the penguins surfed.
479
00:23:24,473 --> 00:23:27,574
It made me nervous.
They could drown.
480
00:23:27,609 --> 00:23:29,909
Hey, where's
Santa's Little Helper?
481
00:23:29,945 --> 00:23:32,412
Brian, you took him
for a walk, right?
482
00:23:32,447 --> 00:23:34,380
Uh, yeah, yeah.
483
00:23:34,416 --> 00:23:35,915
More-more like he took me
for a walk.
484
00:23:35,951 --> 00:23:38,118
God, what a...
what a fun dog.
485
00:23:38,153 --> 00:23:41,054
He's in the kitchen right now,
totally accounted for.
486
00:23:41,089 --> 00:23:42,388
Shut up.
487
00:23:42,424 --> 00:23:44,724
I'll, uh... I'll go check
on him right now.
488
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:46,392
And Chris
will come with me.
489
00:23:46,428 --> 00:23:48,428
But nobody else!
490
00:23:51,133 --> 00:23:52,766
BRIAN
Ruff! Ruff, ruff!
491
00:23:52,801 --> 00:23:54,634
Ah, there he is!
492
00:23:54,669 --> 00:23:57,403
Aw, you like that
behind the ear, don't you, boy?
493
00:23:57,439 --> 00:23:58,538
Ruff! Ruff, ruff!
494
00:23:58,573 --> 00:24:01,674
Ruff, ruff! I'm
another dog in here!
495
00:24:01,710 --> 00:24:03,009
What the hell are you doing?
496
00:24:03,044 --> 00:24:05,078
He's having a
dog playdate.
497
00:24:05,113 --> 00:24:08,481
How does that help us?
We're creating a broad story.
498
00:24:08,517 --> 00:24:10,950
Also, Matthew McConaughey
is in here, too!
499
00:24:10,986 --> 00:24:13,086
"All right, all right, all right."
500
00:24:13,121 --> 00:24:15,555
No, no, he's-he's not
really in here! He's...
501
00:24:15,590 --> 00:24:17,857
We-we thought it was him,
but it was just the oven!
502
00:24:17,893 --> 00:24:18,925
Now you're just doing voices.
503
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,127
Jack Nicholson?!
504
00:24:21,163 --> 00:24:23,663
Okay, Santa's Little Helper
got all tuckered out
505
00:24:23,698 --> 00:24:26,332
from his playdate, so he went
out back to take a nap
506
00:24:26,368 --> 00:24:28,601
under that tree where nobody
knows quite where it is.
507
00:24:28,637 --> 00:24:30,136
Hey, what happened
to Jack Nicholson
508
00:24:30,172 --> 00:24:31,771
and that other dog?
Yep.
509
00:24:31,807 --> 00:24:34,541
Wait, aren't you supposed
to be looking for our car?
510
00:24:34,576 --> 00:24:35,675
Didn't find the car, Lois,
511
00:24:35,710 --> 00:24:37,577
but I found a good
time with a good pal.
512
00:24:37,612 --> 00:24:40,246
Right, Homer? Hey,
Quagmire who, right?
513
00:24:40,282 --> 00:24:42,315
Yeah, Quagmire who?
514
00:24:42,350 --> 00:24:45,451
That's an actual question.
I don't know who Quagmire is.
515
00:24:45,487 --> 00:24:48,855
Peter, I'm glad you made a
friend, but what about our car?
516
00:24:48,890 --> 00:24:50,390
Yeah, I got an idea
about that.
517
00:24:50,425 --> 00:24:53,393
What's the one surefire way
to find a lost car?
518
00:24:53,428 --> 00:24:56,529
Giant magnet?
Giant magnet.
519
00:24:57,566 --> 00:24:58,698
Giant magnet?
520
00:25:01,403 --> 00:25:02,702
Check.
521
00:25:02,737 --> 00:25:04,037
Giant plug?
Check.
522
00:25:04,072 --> 00:25:06,673
Giant curbside outlet?
523
00:25:09,778 --> 00:25:13,346
Oh, things never work
the way they do on the box.
524
00:25:16,518 --> 00:25:18,358
Okay, let's get this garbage
out of the street.
525
00:25:21,756 --> 00:25:26,392
Oh, dear, I was using that car
as pants.
526
00:25:26,428 --> 00:25:28,661
Oh, my God, Dad,
it's our car!
527
00:25:28,697 --> 00:25:32,265
That confused old guy must have
been driving it by mistake.
528
00:25:32,300 --> 00:25:35,201
How many confused old guys
you got in this town?
529
00:25:37,973 --> 00:25:40,273
I'm old, so I'm the victim!
530
00:25:44,079 --> 00:25:46,446
Well, Homer, thanks
for helping me get my car back.
531
00:25:46,481 --> 00:25:49,249
And to show my appreciation, I
got a little something for you.
532
00:25:49,284 --> 00:25:51,584
Here you go.
Pawtucket Patriot Ale.
533
00:25:51,620 --> 00:25:53,586
The best Quahog
has to offer.
534
00:25:53,622 --> 00:25:56,356
Always keep an emergency
six-pack in my trunk.
535
00:25:56,391 --> 00:25:59,292
Oh, that's cool, bringing
outside beer into my bar.
536
00:25:59,327 --> 00:26:01,261
Down the hatch!
537
00:26:02,931 --> 00:26:04,464
That's pretty good, right?
538
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:07,133
No.
539
00:26:07,168 --> 00:26:09,135
Huh?
It's not good.
540
00:26:09,170 --> 00:26:10,803
This beer tastes exactly
like Duff.
541
00:26:10,839 --> 00:26:12,805
It's just a lousy rip-off.
542
00:26:12,841 --> 00:26:14,874
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
It's not a rip-off of Duff.
543
00:26:14,910 --> 00:26:18,344
It may have been inspired
by Duff, but I-I like to think
544
00:26:18,380 --> 00:26:20,046
it goes in
a different direction.
545
00:26:20,081 --> 00:26:23,216
No, this is just the same
as Duff, but, like, worse.
546
00:26:23,251 --> 00:26:26,219
Hey, come on, now, this is
my favorite beer you're talking about.
547
00:26:26,254 --> 00:26:28,221
Hell, I work for the company.
It's my livelihood.
548
00:26:28,256 --> 00:26:30,890
Oh, yeah? Well, your livelihood
is based on fraud.
549
00:26:30,926 --> 00:26:32,058
Look at this.
550
00:26:32,827 --> 00:26:35,328
Huh?
551
00:26:35,363 --> 00:26:36,663
It is Duff.
552
00:26:36,698 --> 00:26:38,965
Your beer is
in big trouble!
553
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,633
You can't just slap
a new label on something
554
00:26:40,669 --> 00:26:41,768
and call it your own!
555
00:26:41,803 --> 00:26:44,103
Well, maybe Duff should be
in trouble for,
556
00:26:44,139 --> 00:26:46,039
you know,
not being that great.
557
00:26:47,409 --> 00:26:49,742
Duff is an icon!
558
00:26:49,778 --> 00:26:51,678
Yeah, but some folks
prefer Pawtucket Pat.
559
00:26:51,713 --> 00:26:54,881
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I-I used to love Duff when I was younger,
560
00:26:54,916 --> 00:26:57,784
but I-I haven't even had it
in, like, 13 years.
561
00:26:57,819 --> 00:26:59,052
Be that as it may,
562
00:26:59,087 --> 00:27:01,654
I represent the Duff Brewery,
and you, sir,
563
00:27:01,690 --> 00:27:03,990
as a representative
of Pawtucket Patriot Ale,
564
00:27:04,025 --> 00:27:07,627
are being sued for intellectual
theft and patent infringement.
565
00:27:07,662 --> 00:27:09,462
Aha! Intellectual theft!
566
00:27:09,497 --> 00:27:11,698
What do you have to say
about that, Griffin?
567
00:27:11,733 --> 00:27:13,066
D'oh!
568
00:27:25,771 --> 00:27:28,471
The Pawtucket Patriot
Brewery being sued?
569
00:27:28,507 --> 00:27:31,007
It's the largest employer
in Quahog, Peter.
570
00:27:31,043 --> 00:27:33,343
A lot of people's jobs
are riding on this.
571
00:27:33,378 --> 00:27:35,679
Yeah, I got a job for you
riding on something.
572
00:27:35,714 --> 00:27:36,746
Peter!
573
00:27:36,782 --> 00:27:38,348
Sorry! Sorry, Lois,
I'm-I'm tired
574
00:27:38,383 --> 00:27:41,384
'cause we usually only do
these things for half an hour.
575
00:27:43,555 --> 00:27:44,587
Simpson.
576
00:27:44,623 --> 00:27:45,623
Griffin.
577
00:27:45,624 --> 00:27:46,790
Nice day, isn't it?
578
00:27:46,825 --> 00:27:48,591
A nice day for stabbing
a friend in the back.
579
00:27:48,627 --> 00:27:52,162
Yeah, and a nice day for
bringing thieves to justice.
580
00:27:53,298 --> 00:27:55,065
We're getting a
lot of compliments.
581
00:27:55,100 --> 00:27:57,567
Yep, we're doing
something right.
582
00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:02,572
Your Honor,
citizens of Springfield
583
00:28:02,607 --> 00:28:05,308
and visitors from Quahog,
my client, the Duff Brewery,
584
00:28:05,344 --> 00:28:08,411
is the victim of flagrant
intellectual theft.
585
00:28:08,447 --> 00:28:11,081
I'm whispering in court
to look smart.
586
00:28:11,116 --> 00:28:14,417
But it's not just the main Duff
recipe that's been plagiarized.
587
00:28:14,453 --> 00:28:16,920
Several other Duff variations,
packages
588
00:28:16,955 --> 00:28:19,522
and design elements
have been similarly infringed,
589
00:28:19,558 --> 00:28:21,424
resulting again
590
00:28:21,460 --> 00:28:23,360
and again in pale imitations,
591
00:28:23,395 --> 00:28:24,561
chp coes,
clumsy counterfeits
592
00:28:24,596 --> 00:28:27,797
and weak substitutions.
593
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:29,466
You like sex?
Eh.
594
00:28:29,501 --> 00:28:31,201
I don't think
we're very similar.
595
00:28:31,236 --> 00:28:34,003
You know why they got us
sitting next to each other.
596
00:28:34,039 --> 00:28:36,673
Uh, 'cause we're the two
funniest guys in our towns?
597
00:28:36,708 --> 00:28:38,141
Damn right.
598
00:28:38,176 --> 00:28:39,642
I'm a Jewish clown.
599
00:28:39,678 --> 00:28:41,044
Me, too.
600
00:28:41,079 --> 00:28:43,213
Are you a mayor?
Yes, I am.
601
00:28:43,248 --> 00:28:45,215
Are you a "cool" mayor?
602
00:28:45,250 --> 00:28:47,784
I, uh... I like
to think so.
603
00:28:50,822 --> 00:28:52,122
You lived in Springfield?
604
00:28:52,157 --> 00:28:54,991
Yeah, I worked at the
Kwik-E-Mart, researching a role.
605
00:28:55,026 --> 00:28:57,260
These guys are gonna lose.
606
00:28:57,295 --> 00:29:00,864
I've heard all I need to
hear to make a decision.
607
00:29:00,899 --> 00:29:04,467
If you ask me, neither of
these beers is wholly original.
608
00:29:04,503 --> 00:29:08,405
They're both pale imitations
of my favorite beer, Bud Rock.
609
00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:09,706
- Oh, ho, ho!
- Ooh!
610
00:29:09,741 --> 00:29:12,175
But rendering a verdict
is something
611
00:29:12,210 --> 00:29:15,445
I'm paid to yabba-dabba-do!
612
00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:16,780
Eh.
613
00:29:16,815 --> 00:29:19,382
And I find in favor of Duff.
614
00:29:19,418 --> 00:29:20,283
Oh, no!
615
00:29:20,318 --> 00:29:21,117
Oh, no!
616
00:29:21,153 --> 00:29:22,485
Oh, no!
617
00:29:25,991 --> 00:29:27,123
Hello?
618
00:29:27,159 --> 00:29:28,224
Uh, hey.
619
00:29:28,260 --> 00:29:30,460
I'm-I'm
in the wrong Springfield.
620
00:29:35,167 --> 00:29:37,066
So what's going
to happen now?
621
00:29:37,102 --> 00:29:39,536
Well, the Pawtucket Brewery
will be shut down,
622
00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:43,440
so I guess we got to go back to
Quahog and find Peter a new job.
623
00:29:43,475 --> 00:29:45,041
Mmm, that's too bad.
624
00:29:45,076 --> 00:29:48,378
Yeah. Anyways, it was still nice
to meet you and your family,
625
00:29:48,413 --> 00:29:50,713
even though you kind of
screwed us over.
626
00:29:50,749 --> 00:29:52,182
Good to have you.
627
00:29:52,217 --> 00:29:54,350
And, hey, next time
you stay with a family,
628
00:29:54,386 --> 00:29:57,520
maybe you can wear a
bra some of the time.
629
00:29:57,556 --> 00:30:00,457
Hey, uh, Marge, uh,
630
00:30:00,492 --> 00:30:02,732
listen, there's something
difficult that I've been trying
631
00:30:02,761 --> 00:30:05,228
to figure out how to
tell you, and, um...
632
00:30:05,263 --> 00:30:08,097
it's about, uh,
Santa's Little Helper.
633
00:30:08,133 --> 00:30:09,332
What about him?
634
00:30:09,367 --> 00:30:11,067
He's, um...
635
00:30:13,171 --> 00:30:15,104
...right there.
636
00:30:15,140 --> 00:30:17,774
You were trying to figure out
a way to tell me that?
637
00:30:17,809 --> 00:30:19,576
I overthink things
sometimes.
638
00:30:19,611 --> 00:30:21,911
Oh, and, look,
he's with Ed McMahon!
639
00:30:21,947 --> 00:30:23,613
Hey-o!
640
00:30:23,648 --> 00:30:25,114
Here's Johnny!
641
00:30:25,150 --> 00:30:26,449
Chris, we're done.
642
00:30:26,485 --> 00:30:29,452
You may be, but...
"I'm just getting warmed up!"
643
00:30:29,488 --> 00:30:31,988
That's Al Pacino.
644
00:30:32,023 --> 00:30:33,923
Thanks for being
so cool, Lisa.
645
00:30:33,959 --> 00:30:36,559
I cut your name in my arm
so I'll always remember you.
646
00:30:39,931 --> 00:30:42,065
Meg, I want you to have this.
647
00:30:42,100 --> 00:30:43,366
Your saxophone?
648
00:30:43,401 --> 00:30:47,674
Yes, Meg.
When you played the saxophone,
649
00:30:50,546 --> 00:30:54,514
Lisa, no one has ever done
anything this nice for me.
650
00:30:54,550 --> 00:30:57,918
You're amazing,
and I will never be like you.
651
00:30:57,953 --> 00:31:01,054
I'm not pretty, I'm not smart,
I'm not talented.
652
00:31:01,090 --> 00:31:03,323
I have the same shoe size
as Charles Barkley.
653
00:31:03,358 --> 00:31:05,192
My prom date
was a scarecrow I stole,
654
00:31:05,227 --> 00:31:06,927
and he left
with someone else.
655
00:31:06,962 --> 00:31:09,463
The inside of my hat
smells so bad I'm not allowed
656
00:31:09,498 --> 00:31:11,698
in most restaurants...
Hey, hey!
657
00:31:11,734 --> 00:31:13,700
Shut up, Meg.
658
00:31:20,943 --> 00:31:23,410
No luggage. Car's full.
Let's go.
659
00:31:24,413 --> 00:31:26,046
Well, nice knowing you,
Stewie.
660
00:31:26,081 --> 00:31:27,514
Same here, Bart.
661
00:31:27,549 --> 00:31:29,015
Hey, I hope
you don't mind,
662
00:31:29,051 --> 00:31:31,017
I got you a
little present.
663
00:31:33,756 --> 00:31:35,722
Whoa. Is that Nelson?
664
00:31:35,758 --> 00:31:37,524
Stewie, what the deuce?
665
00:31:37,559 --> 00:31:39,526
Yes, I... Oh!
Oh, that's nice.
666
00:31:39,561 --> 00:31:41,461
You got that from me.
'Cause, you know,
667
00:31:41,497 --> 00:31:43,663
I was starting to worry
this was a one-way thing.
668
00:31:43,699 --> 00:31:45,398
You kidnapped him?
669
00:31:45,434 --> 00:31:47,367
I kidnapped all your enemies.
670
00:31:47,402 --> 00:31:50,837
Nelson, Jimbo, Principal
Skinner, Sideshow Bob, Apu.
671
00:31:50,873 --> 00:31:53,640
I know Apu's not your enemy,
but I just wanted to say,
672
00:31:53,675 --> 00:31:56,076
"I took Apu."
673
00:31:56,111 --> 00:31:58,478
That is funny!
674
00:31:58,514 --> 00:32:00,347
But the rest of this?
It's messed up, man.
675
00:32:00,382 --> 00:32:01,982
I know! Isn't it awesome?
676
00:32:02,017 --> 00:32:04,351
So, how do you want to keep
in touch? Facebook? Twitter?
677
00:32:04,386 --> 00:32:06,119
Late-night phone calls
lying on our tummies
678
00:32:06,155 --> 00:32:07,587
with our feet up in the air?
679
00:32:07,623 --> 00:32:09,122
Stewie, I don't think
we can be friends.
680
00:32:09,158 --> 00:32:10,724
You freak me out.
681
00:32:10,759 --> 00:32:13,260
Bart, if we don't keep in touch,
I'll kill myself.
682
00:32:13,295 --> 00:32:14,594
That's what I'm talking about.
683
00:32:14,630 --> 00:32:16,530
Later, dude!
684
00:32:16,565 --> 00:32:18,398
Later...
685
00:32:18,433 --> 00:32:20,167
dude.
686
00:32:21,203 --> 00:32:23,837
Haw-haw!
687
00:32:49,502 --> 00:32:51,235
Aw.
688
00:32:52,638 --> 00:32:53,938
Hey, Griffin.
689
00:32:53,973 --> 00:32:56,107
Sorry about your job.
690
00:32:56,142 --> 00:32:58,042
I was just sticking
up for Duff.
691
00:32:58,077 --> 00:32:59,210
I love Duff.
692
00:32:59,245 --> 00:33:00,745
And Duff loves me.
693
00:33:00,780 --> 00:33:02,179
Duff can keep a secret.
694
00:33:02,215 --> 00:33:03,647
Duff never says no.
695
00:33:03,683 --> 00:33:06,751
Duff is more experimental than
any partner I've ever had.
696
00:33:06,786 --> 00:33:10,121
Anyway, the point
is, I'm sorry.
697
00:33:10,156 --> 00:33:13,391
You know, when I first met you,
I thought, hey, I love this guy!
698
00:33:13,426 --> 00:33:15,159
This is the funniest guy
I've ever met.
699
00:33:15,194 --> 00:33:17,161
I'm gonna quote this guy
to all my friends.
700
00:33:17,196 --> 00:33:19,196
I love his town,
I love his family.
701
00:33:19,232 --> 00:33:21,766
But now, I think
I speak for all of us
702
00:33:21,801 --> 00:33:24,668
when I say,
I am over the Simpsons!
703
00:33:24,704 --> 00:33:26,704
Wh-What
are you saying?
704
00:33:26,739 --> 00:33:28,806
I'm saying
the Simpsons suck!
705
00:33:28,841 --> 00:33:30,541
Why, you...
706
00:33:58,471 --> 00:34:00,905
Ow! What the hell?
That really hurts.
707
00:34:00,940 --> 00:34:04,241
No, it doesn't!
I do it to my son all the time.
708
00:34:04,277 --> 00:34:06,177
You strangle your son?
That's insane!
709
00:34:06,212 --> 00:34:09,346
No wonder he's fat and stupid
and masturbates all the time.
710
00:34:09,382 --> 00:34:10,581
That's your son!
711
00:34:42,315 --> 00:34:43,848
Phew!
712
00:34:50,857 --> 00:34:53,524
Hey! Knock it off!
There's a kid back there!
713
00:34:53,559 --> 00:34:56,093
I'm in danger.
714
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:39,270
Hey, that's no fair.
I don't got none of them.
715
00:35:46,679 --> 00:35:48,279
Uh-oh.
716
00:35:54,787 --> 00:35:56,754
Hey, hey!
717
00:35:56,789 --> 00:35:57,988
Uh-oh.
718
00:36:15,141 --> 00:36:16,440
Ooh.
719
00:36:53,679 --> 00:36:55,045
Damn it!
720
00:36:59,118 --> 00:37:01,986
And remember, kids,
TV violence is fine
721
00:37:02,021 --> 00:37:04,388
as long as you
don't show a nipple.
722
00:37:22,241 --> 00:37:23,507
Perfect.
723
00:37:23,542 --> 00:37:26,377
The earthlings are
destroying themselves.
724
00:37:26,412 --> 00:37:28,846
Yeah, it's really great,
isn't it, guys?
725
00:37:28,881 --> 00:37:30,848
We went to summer camp together.
726
00:37:36,289 --> 00:37:38,656
Bye! Thanks for having me.
727
00:37:41,027 --> 00:37:42,660
Huh?
728
00:37:46,198 --> 00:37:48,532
It appears that I
am now the only one
729
00:37:48,567 --> 00:37:50,301
with radioactive powers,
730
00:37:50,336 --> 00:37:52,936
which will allow me
to unleash my fury...
731
00:37:52,972 --> 00:37:55,172
Oh, I talked too long.
732
00:38:25,838 --> 00:38:28,105
- We're gonna make it!
- Trust me, we're not.
733
00:38:42,154 --> 00:38:43,454
Huh?
Huh?
734
00:38:43,489 --> 00:38:44,955
Huh?
Huh? Huh?
735
00:38:50,963 --> 00:38:52,096
Whoa!
736
00:38:52,131 --> 00:38:53,263
Whoo-hoo!
737
00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:55,332
Road house.
738
00:39:14,387 --> 00:39:16,086
Aah-aah!
739
00:40:15,047 --> 00:40:17,948
Say hi to Maude Flanders.
740
00:40:19,118 --> 00:40:22,519
No. You say hi
to Muriel Goldman.
741
00:40:22,555 --> 00:40:23,053
Who?
742
00:40:53,886 --> 00:40:56,086
What are you
still doing here?
743
00:40:56,121 --> 00:40:58,021
I think you're gonna get
a kick out of this.
744
00:40:58,057 --> 00:40:59,957
You're parked behind me
at your place.
745
00:40:59,992 --> 00:41:01,091
That is funny.
746
00:41:01,126 --> 00:41:02,426
Hey, listen, I...
747
00:41:02,461 --> 00:41:04,194
I'm sorry we fought.
748
00:41:04,230 --> 00:41:06,830
I just wanted
to make you laugh and cry.
749
00:41:06,866 --> 00:41:09,032
You see, I'm a Family Guy.
750
00:41:09,068 --> 00:41:10,133
I understand.
751
00:41:10,169 --> 00:41:12,369
I'm a The Simpsons.
752
00:41:12,404 --> 00:41:15,005
Look, even if we
don't work as best pals,
753
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,241
I respect you.
You, too.
754
00:41:17,276 --> 00:41:20,677
Let's just agree to stay a half hour
away from each other.
755
00:41:20,713 --> 00:41:23,447
With a pile of
garbage between us.
756
00:41:24,950 --> 00:41:28,452
Worst chicken fight ever.
757
00:41:32,424 --> 00:41:34,751
It sure is nice to
be back in Quahog.
758
00:41:34,752 --> 00:41:38,220
Oh, and thank God all the commotion
about Dad's comic blew over.
759
00:41:38,255 --> 00:41:40,589
Oh, my God, I had a comic?
That's hilarious!
760
00:41:40,624 --> 00:41:42,791
Well, you may not be
a cartoonist anymore,
761
00:41:42,827 --> 00:41:45,494
but you are a local hero
for defending our beer,
762
00:41:45,529 --> 00:41:48,597
and apparently, that's more
important than hating women.
763
00:41:48,632 --> 00:41:51,500
So here you go,
a Pawtucket Patriot Ale.
764
00:41:51,535 --> 00:41:54,136
What? I don't understand.
Ain't the brewery out of business?
765
00:41:54,171 --> 00:41:56,171
We lost a court case.
Yes, we lost,
766
00:41:56,207 --> 00:41:57,940
but how are they
gonna enforce it?
767
00:41:57,975 --> 00:41:59,742
What, are they
gonna come here?
768
00:41:59,777 --> 00:42:02,177
I think we know that's
never gonna happen.
769
00:42:02,213 --> 00:42:04,880
Hey, Stewie, I'm sorry Bart
didn't want to be your friend.
770
00:42:04,915 --> 00:42:06,749
What? No! What are
you talking about?
771
00:42:06,784 --> 00:42:08,517
He was lame.
If you ask me,
772
00:42:08,552 --> 00:42:10,686
he kind of sounded like a girl.
Really?
773
00:42:10,721 --> 00:42:12,421
Kind of seemed like
you idolized him.
774
00:42:12,456 --> 00:42:15,290
And I can understand losing
a friend and feeling rejected.
775
00:42:15,326 --> 00:42:16,825
Course you can!
You're a loser.
776
00:42:16,861 --> 00:42:18,594
But not me.
I'm a lone wolf.
777
00:42:18,629 --> 00:42:21,163
Speaking of which,
I'm gonna go howl at the moon.
778
00:42:21,198 --> 00:42:23,365
Don't need nobody.
779
00:42:41,986 --> 00:42:45,954
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
780
00:42:51,996 --> 00:42:53,228
Shh.
781
00:42:53,264 --> 00:42:56,532
♪ And now the show
is over now. ♪