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00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:04,470
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,472 --> 00:00:07,706
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,708 --> 00:00:11,677
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:14,680
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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We now return
to the All in the Family
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00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:39,571
and Modern Family
crossover episode.
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Hello,
Mr. Bunker.
13
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We brought
some hummus.
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Oh, yeah, I knew
them two was hummus
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the minute
they walked in the door.
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Yay! A crossover always brings
out the best in each show!
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It certainly doesn't smack
of desperation.
18
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The priorities
are always creative,
19
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and not driven
by marketing or...
20
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Okay, that's
enough.
21
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Oh, my God!
What is it,
Peter?
22
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,760
Look at this. Dennis the Menace
is just shoveling snow.
23
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He's being helpful.
24
00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,097
Might as well just
call it Dennis now.
25
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He's not a menace.
26
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,400
Not every strip
is gonna be hilarious.
27
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You know something? I could
do better than these idiots.
28
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I should just go down to
the paper and sell 'em my own.
29
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Well, Peter, you might be
underestimating the difficulty
30
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of writing a comic strip.
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As someone who occasionally
dates the creative muse,
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I can vouch for the unforgiving
face of a blank sheet of paper.
33
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In fact, I think it was
William Faulkner who said...
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I'm back. I'm published.
Check it out.
35
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I call my comic
For Pete's Sake,
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because it points out things
37
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that make you shake your head
and say, "For Pete's sake."
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This one's for tomorrow.
39
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These are
good, Peter.
40
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I like how
you retell tired old gags
41
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with a detached,
ironic approach.
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Yeah, plus,
it's all brand-new jokes
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that I'm really,
really serious about.
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Well, good for you, Peter,
45
00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:55,080
but how did you get published
so quickly?
46
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Ah, the editor of the paper
owed me a favor.
47
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I got him a picture
of Spider-Man.
48
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Why can't anyone get me
a picture of the Spider-Man?!
49
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,789
Here you go.
50
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:09,862
Yeah, I got a whole subreddit
of superhero thong shots.
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Here's your beer, Peter.
52
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Thanks, Jerome.
What do I owe you?
53
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Nah, you already
paid me... in laughs.
54
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I do a lot of island ones.
55
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Peter, you
should do one
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where a baseball player
can't steal second,
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'cause he's
on probation.
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For drug crimes.
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Political.
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Yeah, you put an island
in there, you're in business.
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Hey, how about one
where you draw a sock,
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and it says "Sock it to me,"
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or-or maybe draw Lois
taking a hot-tub dump,
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and she just says whatever?
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Peter, your comic
in this morning's paper
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is really offensive.
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That's not funny, Peter.
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Ah, you're just not
getting it, Lois.
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See, his wife washed
dishes for him.
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00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:03,949
Oh, for Pete's sake.
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Aha! There you go.
72
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,054
Peter, you should see this.
Your dishwasher cartoon
73
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:10,956
has really outraged
the online community.
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What? Gosh, it's not
like the Internet
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to go crazy about something
small and stupid.
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Peter, you have
to apologize.
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What, because of a joke?
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Not just a joke, Peter.
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A joke that angered
some bloggers.
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Well, I guess this
ain't the first time
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I got in trouble for something
I said about a woman.
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Oh, good.
We can steal.
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00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:36,848
And welcome back
to The Flow.
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We're talking
to Peter Griffin,
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the artist behind
For Pete's Sake,
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which has caused outrage
with a misogynistic comic.
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Here's a video
of some outrage.
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Boo!
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00:03:50,364 --> 00:03:52,097
Yeah, those boos
don't hurt so much
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00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,399
'cause you spent two minutes
of the last segment
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00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,168
applauding a red velvet cake.
92
00:03:56,170 --> 00:03:57,836
Ah!
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00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,406
And if that's not bad enough,
94
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:02,941
this morning's cartoon
is even worse.
95
00:04:02,943 --> 00:04:04,643
Let's put that up.
96
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,217
Mr. Griffin,
do you really think
97
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:13,752
this is an
appropriate cartoon
98
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:15,921
to run on Gloria Steinem's
half-birthday?
99
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:17,089
You sound angry.
100
00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,590
Did one of your
friends get engaged?
101
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:21,293
You have no idea how offensive
you are to women, do you?
102
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What?! I love women.
103
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,863
I bet I can name more
porn stars than you.
104
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:27,132
But-but don't tell my wife
how many porn stars I know.
105
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,767
I'll get in a
lot of trouble.
106
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:29,935
I know all of
'em, though.
107
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,403
There are people
108
00:04:31,404 --> 00:04:32,870
who just started an hour
ago, and I know 'em.
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Your cartoon is sexist!
110
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Down with misogyny!
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It wasn't even funny, and
I have a great sense of humor.
112
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,083
Man, they seem really upset.
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I was just trying
to make people laugh.
114
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Dad, I'm worried
they're gonna hurt us.
115
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,155
No, no,
they're angry, Chris,
116
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but they ain't
gonna get violent.
117
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Oh, cool!
That brick I ordered.
118
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Wait a minute.
I didn't order this brick.
119
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You may be right, Chris.
120
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,164
Peter, this is
getting out of hand.
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I don't feel safe
in my own home.
122
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:03,068
Maybe we should get out
of Quahog for a while.
123
00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,269
You know, she's right.
124
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:06,271
We should get out of town
till this all blows over.
125
00:05:06,273 --> 00:05:08,340
Okay, we'll go,
but just give me a minute.
126
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,976
I just want to turn in
my last For Pete's Sake.
127
00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:17,516
going out on top amid a flurry
of gambling rumors.
128
00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:31,196
Peter, where are we?
129
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,198
I don't know.
I just woke up, too.
130
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:34,933
I tied the steering
wheel to my belt.
131
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:37,803
I figure we've been on the
road about 20% of the time.
132
00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:40,105
Dad, how long
until we can go back home?
133
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Um, I don't know.
134
00:05:41,442 --> 00:05:43,208
How long do women
hold grudges?
135
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Not very long,
I'm guessing.
136
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,945
Oh, Peter, we've been
driving all night.
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00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,380
Pull over
to that gas station.
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00:05:48,382 --> 00:05:50,716
We can use the bathroom
and stretch our legs.
139
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:51,950
You got it, babe.
140
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,151
Did you call me "babe"?
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00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,052
I did.
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00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,088
Oh, Peter.
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00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:59,024
Ew! Mom!
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You'll never
have this, Meg.
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00:06:04,565 --> 00:06:06,231
All right, back
in the car, kids.
146
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,333
For this leg of the
trip, I was thinking
147
00:06:08,335 --> 00:06:10,969
of driving with my shirt
off like New Mexico trash.
148
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,041
Oh, my God!
Our car!
149
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:17,542
Someone's stealing it.
150
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:18,543
Ah, crap.
151
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,745
Although, I got to say,
152
00:06:19,747 --> 00:06:22,080
you never get to see
somebody else driving your car.
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00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,915
It's kind of cool.
Kind of weird.
154
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:24,850
We're stuck
here, Peter!
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00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,885
And we don't even
know where we are.
156
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Well, there's a sign.
157
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:48,073
Huh, guess
we're in a town
called Springfield.
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00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,075
Springfield, eh?
What state?
159
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I can't imagine
we're allowed to say.
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Well, this Springfield place
seems nice.
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We should visit here again.
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00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:21,273
I don't know, Lois. This
seems like a one-shot deal.
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Guys, we ain't here
for fun, all right?
164
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,477
We're here to find the police,
report our stolen car.
165
00:07:25,479 --> 00:07:26,912
Oh, and don't
drink the water.
166
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:29,080
Everybody around here looks
like they have hepatitis.
167
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,882
Dad, I'm
starving.
168
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,651
Can we get
some food?!
169
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:34,419
Lois, whip out your boob,
give the boy his lunch.
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Listen to
the man.
171
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,389
Yeah, Lois,
listen to the man.
172
00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:39,958
How about we
just go into
that store there?
173
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,263
Uh, uh, excuse me?
174
00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,732
Hello. Welcome
to the Kwik-E-Mart.
175
00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:53,138
Oh, I am so sorry.
Let me unplug that.
176
00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,474
Oh, such a nuisance!
177
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:57,242
Hello, funny-sounding
Cleveland.
178
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,643
What's the specialty
of the house?
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To you, I recommend...
the donut.
180
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,016
Ooh!
181
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:06,802
Yum!
182
00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:08,587
Have you guys seriously
never heard of donuts?
183
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,322
These are made
fresh every day.
184
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,324
And then, several days
later, we receive them
185
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,259
and make them available
for purchase.
186
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,927
Hey, are these...
are these free?
187
00:08:15,929 --> 00:08:19,197
'Cause I forgot to mention, all
our money is in our stolen car.
188
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,599
Thank you. Come again.
189
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:23,702
Sir, we can pay you back for
the donuts when we find our car.
190
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:26,271
Do you think that I am moved
by your sob story?
191
00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,973
I come from a country
where the words
192
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,875
for "sewage" and "beverage"
are the same.
193
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,943
I'll pay for their donuts.
194
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,349
Thank you so
much, sir.
195
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,217
For what?
I didn't say anything.
196
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,185
Oh.
197
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,254
It was me.
198
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:48,059
How come this convenience store
has so many shadowy parts?
199
00:08:48,061 --> 00:08:51,563
Apu, a dozen donuts for
our albino visitors.
200
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:52,998
Wow! For real?!
201
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:56,201
No man should be so poor
he cannot pay for a donut.
202
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,569
I was once you.
203
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,004
I couldn't afford donuts.
204
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,473
Tell them what I did, Apu.
He stole the donuts.
205
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,341
I stole the donuts.
206
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,509
So, here you go.
207
00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,311
12... ten...
eight donuts.
208
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,580
That's very nice
of you, Mister...?
209
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,582
Simpson. Homer Simpson.
210
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:12,017
We're the Griffins.
211
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:14,586
Peter, Lois, Stewie, and then,
uh, you know, the others.
212
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,488
Brian, I guess.
213
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,957
Well, enjoy
your... six donuts.
214
00:09:20,394 --> 00:09:22,894
Mmm. Yummy... donut.
215
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,330
That's pretty good,
but try it like this.
216
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:29,234
Mmm. Donut.
217
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,771
Mmm. Donut.
218
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:37,976
I think you and I are
gonna get along just okay.
219
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,382
Yeah, all right,
we'll be there.
220
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:46,751
But if you want
to save us a little time,
221
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,888
you can start
tracing his body with chalk.
222
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,924
This is the
police station.
223
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:57,395
Be careful. I think some
of them might be cops.
224
00:09:57,397 --> 00:09:59,264
Oh, hey there.
Cool hat, weird nose.
225
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:00,765
Hey, listen,
my car got stolen.
226
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,300
I was hoping
you could help.
227
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:03,468
Well, we got
a procedure
228
00:10:03,470 --> 00:10:05,270
for handling alleged
crimes around here.
229
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,205
Let's see. Uh, did
you contribute
230
00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,640
to the policeman's ball?
231
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:09,874
No.
232
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:12,377
Oh, that's too bad,
'cause he really needs one.
233
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,212
He had an accident last week.
234
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,082
Yeah, I tried to jump
over a parking meter.
235
00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:18,950
Yeah, all right,
well, with no contribution,
236
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:22,287
your report goes right
into the circular file.
237
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,655
I got to be honest.
238
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:25,123
I don't usually check this file,
239
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:28,226
so it might be a while
until we find that car of yours.
240
00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:31,663
Uh, Chief, that excuse to
leave you asked for is here.
241
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,498
Oh, sorry,
I got to take this.
242
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,167
It never ends.
243
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:40,806
Oh, thank you so much
244
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,307
for putting us up
until we find our car.
245
00:10:42,309 --> 00:10:45,310
And thank you for
not being a band of
hippie murderers.
246
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,911
And now
this again.
247
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:49,347
You bring home two bands
of hippie murderers,
248
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:51,082
and suddenly,
that's all you're about.
249
00:10:51,084 --> 00:10:53,418
Well, what do
you say we have
some lunch?
250
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:54,519
Where's
Bart?
251
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,321
Well, he's at
camp all week.
252
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:58,390
I'm sorry you
won't get to
meet him.
253
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:04,129
Got kicked out of camp.
254
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:07,365
I superglued my counselor's
butt cheeks together.
255
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,633
That's terrible.
256
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:11,803
But how did you even get access
to his butt cheeks?
257
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,272
I'm not the only one
who got kicked out of camp.
258
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,340
This is Bart.
259
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,608
Honey, your hands
are filthy.
260
00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:18,309
Go wash up
for lunch.
261
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,611
Eat my shorts!
262
00:11:19,613 --> 00:11:20,945
"Eat my shorts."
263
00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:23,148
I love that!
Is that a popular expression,
264
00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:25,784
like "what the deuce"?
Probably more popular.
265
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:28,053
Probably... probably
way more popular.
266
00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,555
Well, here's my room.
267
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,357
Hey, you want to see
my weapons closet?
268
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:34,826
You have a
weapons closet, too?
269
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:45,737
Ouch! Jesus
heard my mean thought!
270
00:11:45,739 --> 00:11:47,906
A slingshot!
It's so simple and pure.
271
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,075
He doesn't need lasers
or time machines,
272
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,677
just gum balls and marbles
and balls of string.
273
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:54,913
He's like something
out of Mark Twain!
274
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:56,981
Whose real name
was Samuel Clemens.
275
00:11:56,983 --> 00:11:59,184
How... how does that further
this conversation?
276
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:01,720
Hey, you want to make
a prank phone call?
277
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,154
Ooh, prank phone call!
278
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,728
Moe's Tavern.
Moe speaking.
279
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,429
Uh, yeah, I'm looking
for a friend,
280
00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:14,265
last name Keebum,
first name Lee.
281
00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:15,400
Uh, hang on, I'll check.
282
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,268
Hey, guys, do I got
a Lee Keebum?
283
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,205
Come on, look at the stools--
is there a Lee Keebum?
284
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:23,041
Somebody check the rear--
I know I got a Lee Keebum.
285
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,410
Then you probably shouldn't
be handling food.
286
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:30,715
Oh, my God,
that's amazing!
287
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:32,417
That's the coolest
thing ever!
288
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,352
Hey, I want to try.
Okay.
289
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:37,756
Moe's Tavern.
290
00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:40,425
Hello, Moe?
Your sister's being raped.
291
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,261
Is that... is that one?
292
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,529
So, this is my room.
293
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:46,097
Please excuse the mess.
294
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:48,433
There, that's better.
295
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,435
Look at all these trophies!
296
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,237
There must be,
like, 20 of them!
297
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:55,707
23. But I'm sure you have
a lot of trophies of your own.
298
00:12:55,709 --> 00:12:57,942
No. I'm not good
at anything.
299
00:12:57,944 --> 00:13:00,745
Oh, Meg, I'm sure
you're good at something.
300
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:02,781
We just have
to find out what it is.
301
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:06,451
After all, Nelson Mandela said
it's our obligation to shine.
302
00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:08,586
You mean like my
oily face and back?
303
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:11,089
No. Maybe don't sit
on my bedspread, please.
304
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:14,559
But I mean the light within you
that makes you an individual.
305
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:16,828
Meg, you need to know
that you matter.
306
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,430
Really? No one's ever
told me I mattered before.
307
00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,499
That's why you
have to say it.
308
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:23,668
So say it.
I matter.
309
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:24,669
Louder!
310
00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:25,970
I matter!
311
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,407
Shut up, Meg! You don't matter!
312
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:49,260
Hey, couldn't help but notice
there's no seat for me.
313
00:13:49,262 --> 00:13:52,964
Oh. I was under the impression
that you were a dog.
314
00:13:52,966 --> 00:13:54,866
You're right to have
that reaction, Marge.
315
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:57,769
Why, I just figured,
at home I sit with the family,
316
00:13:57,771 --> 00:13:59,103
so I assumed that...
317
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,272
Have you ever drunk
out of a toilet?
318
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,675
I-I don't see what that has
to do with the discussion.
319
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,510
Dogs eat in the kitchen.
320
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,278
Yeah, dogs eat
in the kitchen.
321
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:10,148
Y-You know, you're eating
mostly horse hooves
322
00:14:10,150 --> 00:14:12,217
and tallow, right?
You cool with that?
323
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:14,219
Oh, and the ones that
fall on the floor,
324
00:14:14,221 --> 00:14:16,287
you just eat those
up, too, huh?
325
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:17,355
Oh, yeah, yeah, you do.
326
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,724
So, is that... is that,
like, your thing?
327
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,126
You eat loud?
328
00:14:22,128 --> 00:14:24,696
I... I'm-I'm sorry,
I don't know what...
329
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,164
That's a gutter language.
330
00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,466
Are you making friends
in there, Brian?
331
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,235
Yep, he's a lot
of laughs.
332
00:14:30,237 --> 00:14:32,537
Wow, you work at a
nuclear power plant?
333
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,205
What's that?
I don't know.
334
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,406
Pretty impressive.
335
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:36,908
I just work
at a brewery.
336
00:14:36,910 --> 00:14:39,577
Oh, my God,
you get to work with beer?!
337
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,046
Wow! What's beer really like?
338
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,315
Eh, he's got a big head.
339
00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:47,218
Hey, you know-- aw,
damn it, I don't have
a comic strip anymore.
340
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,722
So, still no word from the
police on your stolen car?
341
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:53,057
The cops
here are a joke.
342
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,827
I bet you and me can find
your car on our own.
343
00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:57,228
You think so?
Yeah.
344
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,530
'Cause Homer Simpson
and Peter Griffin
345
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,099
are a great team!
346
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,568
A greater team than...
347
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,870
Than...
Uh-huh, keep going.
348
00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,906
Than... something else.
349
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,208
Something else?
I... don't know what this is.
350
00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,176
O-Okay,
I'll do it.
351
00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,779
Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin
are an even greater team
352
00:15:14,781 --> 00:15:16,514
than the Air Force!
353
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:21,119
Hold steady.
I got him in my sights.
354
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,392
Whoo-hoo!
Yeah-heh-heh!
355
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,627
Yeah, we did it.
What's he doing here?
356
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:32,430
We got to carry him,
'cause he can't fly on his own.
357
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,933
We let that other guy try,
and look what happened.
358
00:15:34,935 --> 00:15:38,670
No, no, no, no, no, no...!
359
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:46,277
Wow, they've made a lot
of changes to Quahog!
360
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,579
Chris, we're
in a different town.
361
00:15:48,581 --> 00:15:49,747
Oh...
362
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,050
Is that why there was
blood in my stool?
363
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:54,152
No. That-that sounds
like a separate issue.
364
00:15:54,154 --> 00:15:56,120
God, I can't believe
I got stuck
365
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:58,056
taking their stupid dog
for a walk.
366
00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:00,558
Stupid? Well, I don't know,
I think he's kind of fun.
367
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,760
What, are you kidding?
He doesn't do anything.
368
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,629
You know,
it's not his fault, though.
369
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:05,930
He doesn't know any better.
370
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:08,066
He's been on a leash
his whole life.
371
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,335
Hey, you know what?
Come here, Santa's Stupid Name.
372
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:14,172
You're a grown dog--
start acting like one.
373
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,343
Come here, boy.
374
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:21,245
Hey, stop that dog!
375
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,582
Sorry. We're
on a smoke break.
376
00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:29,153
Nothing beats
smoking and standing.
377
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:32,790
Although smoking and sitting
does have its moments.
378
00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:36,227
You always have
to argue with me.
379
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,433
Oh, thank goodness!
380
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:46,204
I was starting to think
you wouldn't show, Dr. Dog.
381
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:53,945
Boy, you really like
to bleed, huh, guy?
382
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,653
Hey, there's a dog
in the dining area!
383
00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,390
How'd that happen?
384
00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:07,291
Get back in there.
385
00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:13,398
Which one is Santa's
Little Helper?
386
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,234
I don't know.
You're the one who
sniffed his butt.
387
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:17,902
Yeah, for, like,
a second!
388
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:21,672
Damn it, he's gone.
389
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,791
We're screwed.
390
00:17:23,792 --> 00:17:25,909
- Welcome to Krusty Burger.
- May I take your order?
391
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:28,646
Your voice
sounds stupid.
392
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,268
Oh, my God,
that was great!
393
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:53,237
I mean, unless you
think it sucked,
in which case it sucked.
394
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,705
It was all right, dude.
395
00:17:54,707 --> 00:17:56,391
Yeah, dude.
396
00:17:56,392 --> 00:17:58,076
So, you know, um,
I'm only wearing this diaper
397
00:17:58,078 --> 00:18:00,945
as a dare, you know-- it's not,
like, an everyday thing.
398
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,581
Hey, loser, I copied
off your spelling test
399
00:18:03,583 --> 00:18:05,683
and got a D!
400
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,585
Haw-haw!
401
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,755
I say, how long has that boy
been treating you like that?
402
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:15,493
Uh...
about 24 years.
403
00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,629
Aah!
404
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:25,570
Just who I was
looking for!
405
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:33,377
Cowabunga.
406
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,785
All right, Peter, if we're
gonna find your car,
407
00:18:40,787 --> 00:18:42,420
we got to think
like a car.
408
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:45,156
So let's fill up
at that gas station.
409
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:54,599
I feel sick.
Keep drinking.
410
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:56,234
I prepaid 40 bucks!
411
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:58,503
Homer, maybe
we're doing this wrong.
412
00:19:02,408 --> 00:19:04,142
Oh, crap.
413
00:19:08,982 --> 00:19:12,316
Haben Sie Homer und
Peter mit Chevron pump?
414
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:20,658
Okay, I got a great idea how
we're gonna find my stolen car.
415
00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,928
We'll throw a car wash--
free for stolen cars!
416
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:27,865
And then when we find it,
we'll actually charge the guy!
417
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:39,277
Well, none of these
is my car,
418
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:41,779
but we promised
these scumbags a show.
419
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:59,664
♪ Love is like a bomb, baby,
come on, get it on ♪
420
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,633
♪ Livin' like a lover
with a radar phone ♪
421
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,569
♪ Lookin' like a tramp,
like a video vamp ♪
422
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:08,472
♪ Demolition woman,
can I be your man? ♪
423
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,442
♪ Yeah! ♪
424
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:17,081
♪ So come on, take a bottle ♪
425
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,850
♪ Shake it up ♪
426
00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:22,553
♪ Break the bubble ♪
427
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,189
♪ Break it up ♪
428
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,691
♪ Pour some ♪
429
00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:27,925
♪ Sugar on me ♪
430
00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:30,828
♪ Ooh, in the name of love ♪
431
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,530
♪ Pour some ♪
432
00:20:32,532 --> 00:20:34,098
♪ Sugar on me ♪
433
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,900
♪ Come on, fire me up ♪
434
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,835
♪ Pour your ♪
435
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,904
♪ Sugar on me ♪
436
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,006
♪ I can't get enough... ♪
437
00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:45,276
Hey, Chief, we could
arrest every single
car thief in Springfield.
438
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,111
After the show, Lou,
439
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:49,747
after the show.
440
00:21:00,026 --> 00:21:04,862
I don't know!
I feel like I'm good at nothing!
441
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:07,698
Hey, everyone gets down
on themselves sometimes.
442
00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,902
Those are the days
I'm glad I have my saxophone.
443
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:12,903
Saxophone?
444
00:21:12,905 --> 00:21:14,405
Yeah. My dad
gave it to me.
445
00:21:14,407 --> 00:21:16,774
My dad once gave me
a gun to hide.
446
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,242
That's terrible.
447
00:21:18,244 --> 00:21:20,411
Whenever I feel
any pain or loneliness,
448
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:23,314
I just play away the blues
on my saxophone.
449
00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:25,983
Huh. I usually
just beat up a cat.
450
00:21:27,086 --> 00:21:29,987
Good thing we don't have a cat.
451
00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,890
Why don't you
give it a shot?
452
00:22:09,262 --> 00:22:10,761
Was that good?
453
00:22:10,763 --> 00:22:13,364
It was okay, but it would
be a shame to waste
454
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:17,335
such great butcher's arms
on a musical instrument.
455
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,877
Wakey, wakey.
456
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:28,112
Good morning.
457
00:22:28,114 --> 00:22:30,715
You and I have quite a day
ahead of us.
458
00:22:41,894 --> 00:22:45,963
Oh, that's a clown I painted,
so you know I'm truly insane.
459
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:47,832
You know, Nelson,
460
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:50,401
I don't doubt that you've
had a twisted childhood.
461
00:22:50,403 --> 00:22:52,036
Most evil people have.
462
00:22:52,038 --> 00:22:54,171
Hitler, Manson, Jaden Smith.
463
00:22:54,173 --> 00:22:56,240
But you're different
from them, aren't you?
464
00:22:56,242 --> 00:22:58,676
Because they're rail-thin,
and you're fat.
465
00:22:58,678 --> 00:23:00,544
You're a little piggy,
aren't you, Nelson?
466
00:23:00,546 --> 00:23:02,813
In fact, I bet
you're hungry right now.
467
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:05,316
What's that?
468
00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:07,184
I could eat.
469
00:23:07,186 --> 00:23:09,053
Good. Because you're going
470
00:23:09,055 --> 00:23:11,989
to eat... my... shorts.
471
00:23:19,599 --> 00:23:22,266
Homer, you're never going
to believe what we did.
472
00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:25,035
We saw a movie
in the afternoon!
473
00:23:25,037 --> 00:23:26,937
Yeah, we saw
Surf's Up 2.
474
00:23:26,939 --> 00:23:29,840
Marge covered her eyes every
time the penguins surfed.
475
00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:32,743
It made me nervous.
They could drown.
476
00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:35,279
Hey, where's
Santa's Little Helper?
477
00:23:35,281 --> 00:23:38,015
Brian, you took him
for a walk, right?
478
00:23:38,017 --> 00:23:39,750
Uh, yeah, yeah.
479
00:23:39,752 --> 00:23:41,285
More-more like he took me
for a walk.
480
00:23:41,287 --> 00:23:43,521
God, what a...
what a fun dog.
481
00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:46,424
He's in the kitchen right now,
totally accounted for.
482
00:23:46,426 --> 00:23:47,792
Shut up.
483
00:23:47,794 --> 00:23:50,127
I'll, uh... I'll go check
on him right now.
484
00:23:50,129 --> 00:23:52,029
And Chris
will come with me.
485
00:23:52,031 --> 00:23:54,098
But nobody else!
486
00:23:56,536 --> 00:23:58,135
BRIAN
Ruff! Ruff, ruff!
487
00:23:58,137 --> 00:23:59,804
Ah, there he is!
488
00:23:59,806 --> 00:24:02,873
Aw, you like that
behind the ear, don't you, boy?
489
00:24:02,875 --> 00:24:03,774
Ruff! Ruff, ruff!
490
00:24:03,776 --> 00:24:06,710
Ruff, ruff! I'm
another dog in here!
491
00:24:06,712 --> 00:24:08,412
What the hell are you doing?
492
00:24:08,414 --> 00:24:10,080
He's having a
dog playdate.
493
00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:13,651
How does that help us?
We're creating
a broad story.
494
00:24:13,653 --> 00:24:15,920
Also, Matthew McConaughey
is in here, too!
495
00:24:15,922 --> 00:24:18,088
"All right, all right,
all right."
496
00:24:18,090 --> 00:24:20,758
No, no, he's-he's not
really in here! He's...
497
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,893
We-we thought it was him,
but it was just the oven!
498
00:24:22,895 --> 00:24:24,128
Now you're just doing voices.
499
00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:26,130
Jack Nicholson?!
500
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:28,899
Okay, Santa's Little Helper
got all tuckered out
501
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:31,569
from his playdate, so he went
out back to take a nap
502
00:24:31,571 --> 00:24:33,804
under that tree where nobody
knows quite where it is.
503
00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,339
Hey, what happened
to Jack Nicholson
504
00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:36,974
and that other dog?
Yep.
505
00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,910
Wait, aren't you supposed
to be looking for our car?
506
00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:41,328
Didn't find the car, Lois,
507
00:24:41,329 --> 00:24:42,745
but I found a good
time with a good pal.
508
00:24:42,748 --> 00:24:45,416
Right, Homer? Hey,
Quagmire who, right?
509
00:24:45,418 --> 00:24:47,485
Yeah, Quagmire who?
510
00:24:47,487 --> 00:24:50,621
That's an actual question.
I don't know who Quagmire is.
511
00:24:50,623 --> 00:24:54,091
Peter, I'm glad you made a
friend, but what about our car?
512
00:24:54,093 --> 00:24:55,593
Yeah, I got an idea
about that.
513
00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:58,596
What's the one surefire way
to find a lost car?
514
00:24:58,598 --> 00:25:02,032
Giant magnet?
Giant magnet.
515
00:25:03,002 --> 00:25:04,168
Giant magnet?
516
00:25:06,839 --> 00:25:08,172
Check.
517
00:25:08,174 --> 00:25:09,306
Giant plug?
Check.
518
00:25:09,308 --> 00:25:12,176
Giant curbside outlet?
519
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:18,849
Oh, things never work
the way they do on the box.
520
00:25:21,721 --> 00:25:23,754
Okay, let's get this garbage
out of the street.
521
00:25:26,993 --> 00:25:31,662
Oh, dear, I was using that car
as pants.
522
00:25:31,664 --> 00:25:33,898
Oh, my God, Dad,
it's our car!
523
00:25:33,900 --> 00:25:37,535
That confused old guy must have
been driving it by mistake.
524
00:25:37,537 --> 00:25:40,671
How many confused old guys
you got in this town?
525
00:25:43,209 --> 00:25:45,776
I'm old, so I'm the victim!
526
00:25:49,081 --> 00:25:51,715
Well, Homer, thanks
for helping me get my car back.
527
00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:54,518
And to show my appreciation, I
got a little something for you.
528
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,854
Here you go.
Pawtucket Patriot Ale.
529
00:25:56,856 --> 00:25:58,856
The best Quahog
has to offer.
530
00:25:58,858 --> 00:26:01,692
Always keep an emergency
six-pack in my trunk.
531
00:26:01,694 --> 00:26:04,828
Oh, that's cool, bringing
outside beer into my bar.
532
00:26:04,830 --> 00:26:06,797
Down the hatch!
533
00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:10,000
That's pretty good, right?
534
00:26:11,003 --> 00:26:12,436
No.
535
00:26:12,438 --> 00:26:14,438
Huh?
It's not good.
536
00:26:14,440 --> 00:26:16,106
This beer tastes exactly
like Duff.
537
00:26:16,108 --> 00:26:17,908
It's just a lousy rip-off.
538
00:26:17,910 --> 00:26:20,010
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!
It's not a rip-off of Duff.
539
00:26:20,012 --> 00:26:23,681
It may have been inspired
by Duff, but I-I like to think
540
00:26:23,683 --> 00:26:25,182
it goes in
a different direction.
541
00:26:25,184 --> 00:26:28,352
No, this is just the same
as Duff, but, like, worse.
542
00:26:28,354 --> 00:26:31,555
Hey, come on, now,
this is my favorite beer
you're talking about.
543
00:26:31,557 --> 00:26:33,591
Hell, I work for the company.
It's my livelihood.
544
00:26:33,593 --> 00:26:36,260
Oh, yeah? Well, your livelihood
is based on fraud.
545
00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:37,661
Look at this.
546
00:26:38,364 --> 00:26:40,698
Huh?
547
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:42,232
It is Duff.
548
00:26:42,234 --> 00:26:44,068
Your beer is
in big trouble!
549
00:26:44,070 --> 00:26:46,136
You can't just slap
a new label on something
550
00:26:46,138 --> 00:26:47,071
and call it your own!
551
00:26:47,073 --> 00:26:49,406
Well, maybe Duff should be
in trouble for,
552
00:26:49,408 --> 00:26:51,375
you know,
not being that great.
553
00:26:52,912 --> 00:26:55,079
Duff is an icon!
554
00:26:55,081 --> 00:26:56,981
Yeah, but some folks
prefer Pawtucket Pat.
555
00:26:56,983 --> 00:26:59,984
I mean, don't get me wrong,
I-I used to love Duff
when I was younger,
556
00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:03,153
but I-I haven't even had it
in, like, 13 years.
557
00:27:03,155 --> 00:27:04,421
Be that as it may,
558
00:27:04,423 --> 00:27:07,091
I represent the Duff Brewery,
and you, sir,
559
00:27:07,093 --> 00:27:09,226
as a representative
of Pawtucket Patriot Ale,
560
00:27:09,228 --> 00:27:13,263
are being sued for intellectual
theft and patent infringement.
561
00:27:13,265 --> 00:27:14,898
Aha! Intellectual theft!
562
00:27:14,900 --> 00:27:16,967
What do you have to say
about that, Griffin?
563
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,335
D'oh!
564
00:27:31,851 --> 00:27:34,585
The Pawtucket Patriot
Brewery being sued?
565
00:27:34,587 --> 00:27:37,121
It's the largest employer
in Quahog, Peter.
566
00:27:37,123 --> 00:27:39,256
A lot of people's jobs
are riding on this.
567
00:27:39,258 --> 00:27:42,026
Yeah, I got a job for you
riding on something.
568
00:27:42,028 --> 00:27:42,926
Peter!
569
00:27:42,928 --> 00:27:44,294
Sorry! Sorry, Lois,
I'm-I'm tired
570
00:27:44,296 --> 00:27:47,765
'cause we usually only do
these things for half an hour.
571
00:27:49,869 --> 00:27:50,934
Simpson.
572
00:27:50,936 --> 00:27:51,769
Griffin.
573
00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:52,936
Nice day, isn't it?
574
00:27:52,938 --> 00:27:54,772
A nice day for stabbing
a friend in the back.
575
00:27:54,774 --> 00:27:58,342
Yeah, and a nice day for
bringing thieves to justice.
576
00:27:59,445 --> 00:28:01,478
We're getting a
lot of compliments.
577
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:03,781
Yep, we're doing
something right.
578
00:28:06,118 --> 00:28:08,719
Your Honor,
citizens of Springfield
579
00:28:08,721 --> 00:28:11,288
and visitors from Quahog,
my client, the Duff Brewery,
580
00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:14,625
is the victim of flagrant
intellectual theft.
581
00:28:14,627 --> 00:28:17,061
I'm whispering in court
to look smart.
582
00:28:17,063 --> 00:28:20,631
But it's not just the main Duff
recipe that's been plagiarized.
583
00:28:20,633 --> 00:28:23,133
Several other Duff variations,
packages
584
00:28:23,135 --> 00:28:25,736
and design elements
have been similarly infringed,
585
00:28:25,738 --> 00:28:27,638
resulting again
586
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:29,573
and again in pale imitations,
587
00:28:29,575 --> 00:28:30,741
cheap copies,
clumsy counterfeits
588
00:28:30,743 --> 00:28:34,211
and weak substitutions.
589
00:28:34,213 --> 00:28:35,679
You like sex?
Eh.
590
00:28:35,681 --> 00:28:37,214
I don't think
we're very similar.
591
00:28:37,216 --> 00:28:40,217
You know why they got us
sitting next to each other.
592
00:28:40,219 --> 00:28:43,087
Uh, 'cause we're the two
funniest guys in our towns?
593
00:28:43,089 --> 00:28:44,354
Damn right.
594
00:28:44,356 --> 00:28:46,056
I'm a Jewish clown.
595
00:28:46,058 --> 00:28:47,491
Me, too.
596
00:28:47,493 --> 00:28:49,393
Are you a mayor?
Yes, I am.
597
00:28:49,395 --> 00:28:51,395
Are you a "cool" mayor?
598
00:28:51,397 --> 00:28:54,231
I, uh... I like
to think so.
599
00:28:56,902 --> 00:28:58,102
You lived in Springfield?
600
00:28:58,104 --> 00:29:01,438
Yeah, I worked at the
Kwik-E-Mart, researching a role.
601
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,407
These guys are gonna lose.
602
00:29:03,409 --> 00:29:07,111
I've heard all I need to
hear to make a decision.
603
00:29:07,113 --> 00:29:10,547
If you ask me, neither of
these beers is wholly original.
604
00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:14,685
They're both pale imitations
of my favorite beer, Bud Rock.
605
00:29:14,687 --> 00:29:15,953
- Oh, ho, ho!
- Ooh!
606
00:29:15,955 --> 00:29:18,422
But rendering a verdict
is something
607
00:29:18,424 --> 00:29:21,759
I'm paid to yabba-dabba-do!
608
00:29:21,761 --> 00:29:23,260
Eh.
609
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:25,696
And I find in favor of Duff.
610
00:29:25,698 --> 00:29:26,597
Oh, no!
611
00:29:26,599 --> 00:29:27,431
Oh, no!
612
00:29:27,433 --> 00:29:28,999
Oh, no!
613
00:29:32,404 --> 00:29:33,403
Hello?
614
00:29:33,405 --> 00:29:34,471
Uh, hey.
615
00:29:34,473 --> 00:29:36,974
I'm-I'm
in the wrong Springfield.
616
00:29:41,413 --> 00:29:43,113
So what's going
to happen now?
617
00:29:43,115 --> 00:29:45,582
Well, the Pawtucket Brewery
will be shut down,
618
00:29:45,584 --> 00:29:49,753
so I guess we got to go back to
Quahog and find Peter a new job.
619
00:29:49,755 --> 00:29:51,121
Mmm, that's too bad.
620
00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:54,725
Yeah. Anyways, it was still nice
to meet you and your family,
621
00:29:54,727 --> 00:29:57,261
even though you kind of
screwed us over.
622
00:29:57,263 --> 00:29:58,295
Good to have you.
623
00:29:58,297 --> 00:30:00,631
And, hey, next time
you stay with a family,
624
00:30:00,633 --> 00:30:03,801
maybe you can wear a
bra some of the time.
625
00:30:03,803 --> 00:30:06,570
Hey, uh, Marge, uh,
626
00:30:06,572 --> 00:30:09,006
listen, there's something
difficult that I've been trying
627
00:30:09,008 --> 00:30:11,275
to figure out how to
tell you, and, um...
628
00:30:11,277 --> 00:30:14,344
it's about, uh,
Santa's Little Helper.
629
00:30:14,346 --> 00:30:15,579
What about him?
630
00:30:15,581 --> 00:30:17,514
He's, um...
631
00:30:19,418 --> 00:30:21,151
...right there.
632
00:30:21,153 --> 00:30:24,021
You were trying to figure out
a way to tell me that?
633
00:30:24,023 --> 00:30:25,823
I overthink things
sometimes.
634
00:30:25,825 --> 00:30:28,425
Oh, and, look,
he's with Ed McMahon!
635
00:30:28,427 --> 00:30:30,093
Hey-o!
636
00:30:30,095 --> 00:30:31,428
Here's Johnny!
637
00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:32,763
Chris, we're done.
638
00:30:32,765 --> 00:30:35,766
You may be, but...
"I'm just getting warmed up!"
639
00:30:35,768 --> 00:30:38,468
That's Al Pacino.
640
00:30:38,470 --> 00:30:40,204
Thanks for being
so cool, Lisa.
641
00:30:40,206 --> 00:30:43,073
I cut your name in my arm
so I'll always remember you.
642
00:30:46,378 --> 00:30:48,545
Meg, I want you to have this.
643
00:30:48,547 --> 00:30:49,646
Your saxophone?
644
00:30:49,648 --> 00:30:51,949
Yes, Meg.
When you played the saxophone,
645
00:30:51,951 --> 00:30:53,951
I could feel your soul
coming out.
646
00:30:53,953 --> 00:30:56,787
So I want you to take this
and shine.
647
00:30:56,789 --> 00:31:00,824
Lisa, no one has ever done
anything this nice for me.
648
00:31:00,826 --> 00:31:04,294
You're amazing,
and I will never be like you.
649
00:31:04,296 --> 00:31:07,231
I'm not pretty, I'm not smart,
I'm not talented.
650
00:31:07,233 --> 00:31:09,700
I have the same shoe size
as Charles Barkley.
651
00:31:09,702 --> 00:31:11,568
My prom date
was a scarecrow I stole,
652
00:31:11,570 --> 00:31:13,303
and he left
with someone else.
653
00:31:13,305 --> 00:31:15,839
The inside of my hat
smells so bad I'm not allowed
654
00:31:15,841 --> 00:31:18,242
in most restaurants...
Hey, hey!
655
00:31:18,244 --> 00:31:20,310
Shut up, Meg.
656
00:31:27,253 --> 00:31:29,987
No luggage. Car's full.
Let's go.
657
00:31:30,756 --> 00:31:32,589
Well, nice knowing you,
Stewie.
658
00:31:32,591 --> 00:31:33,891
Same here, Bart.
659
00:31:33,893 --> 00:31:35,559
Hey, I hope
you don't mind,
660
00:31:35,561 --> 00:31:37,628
I got you a
little present.
661
00:31:40,266 --> 00:31:42,065
Whoa. Is that Nelson?
662
00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:43,901
Stewie, what the deuce?
663
00:31:43,903 --> 00:31:45,903
Yes, I... Oh!
Oh, that's nice.
664
00:31:45,905 --> 00:31:47,838
You got that from me.
'Cause, you know,
665
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,240
I was starting to worry
this was a one-way thing.
666
00:31:50,242 --> 00:31:51,742
You kidnapped him?
667
00:31:51,744 --> 00:31:53,543
I kidnapped all your enemies.
668
00:31:53,545 --> 00:31:57,214
Nelson, Jimbo, Principal
Skinner, Sideshow Bob, Apu.
669
00:31:57,216 --> 00:32:00,017
I know Apu's not your enemy,
but I just wanted to say,
670
00:32:00,019 --> 00:32:02,719
"I took Apu."
671
00:32:02,721 --> 00:32:04,922
That is funny!
672
00:32:04,924 --> 00:32:06,757
But the rest of this?
It's messed up, man.
673
00:32:06,759 --> 00:32:08,425
I know! Isn't it awesome?
674
00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:10,794
So, how do you want to keep
in touch? Facebook? Twitter?
675
00:32:10,796 --> 00:32:12,229
Late-night phone calls
lying on our tummies
676
00:32:12,231 --> 00:32:13,797
with our feet up in the air?
677
00:32:13,799 --> 00:32:15,399
Stewie, I don't think
we can be friends.
678
00:32:15,401 --> 00:32:16,900
You freak me out.
679
00:32:16,902 --> 00:32:19,636
Bart, if we don't keep in touch,
I'll kill myself.
680
00:32:19,638 --> 00:32:20,771
That's what I'm talking about.
681
00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:22,739
Later, dude!
682
00:32:22,741 --> 00:32:24,574
Later...
683
00:32:24,576 --> 00:32:26,610
dude.
684
00:32:27,579 --> 00:32:30,147
Haw-haw!
685
00:32:56,608 --> 00:32:58,642
Aw.
686
00:32:59,745 --> 00:33:01,111
Hey, Griffin.
687
00:33:01,113 --> 00:33:03,180
Sorry about your job.
688
00:33:03,182 --> 00:33:05,248
I was just sticking
up for Duff.
689
00:33:05,250 --> 00:33:06,416
I love Duff.
690
00:33:06,418 --> 00:33:07,751
And Duff loves me.
691
00:33:07,753 --> 00:33:08,919
Duff can keep a secret.
692
00:33:08,921 --> 00:33:10,454
Duff never says no.
693
00:33:10,456 --> 00:33:13,757
Duff is more experimental than
any partner I've ever had.
694
00:33:13,759 --> 00:33:17,160
Anyway, the point
is, I'm sorry.
695
00:33:17,162 --> 00:33:20,263
You know, when I first met you,
I thought, hey, I love this guy!
696
00:33:20,265 --> 00:33:22,199
This is the funniest guy
I've ever met.
697
00:33:22,201 --> 00:33:24,201
I'm gonna quote this guy
to all my friends.
698
00:33:24,203 --> 00:33:26,269
I love his town,
I love his family.
699
00:33:26,271 --> 00:33:28,805
But now, I think
I speak for all of us
700
00:33:28,807 --> 00:33:31,708
when I say,
I am over the Simpsons!
701
00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:33,777
Wh-What
are you saying?
702
00:33:33,779 --> 00:33:35,846
I'm saying
the Simpsons suck!
703
00:33:35,848 --> 00:33:37,614
Why, you...
704
00:34:06,027 --> 00:34:07,577
Ow! What the hell?
That really hurts.
705
00:34:07,579 --> 00:34:11,148
No, it doesn't!
I do it to my son all the time.
706
00:34:11,150 --> 00:34:12,883
You strangle your son?
That's insane!
707
00:34:12,885 --> 00:34:16,420
No wonder he's fat and stupid
and masturbates all the time.
708
00:34:16,422 --> 00:34:17,487
That's your son!
709
00:34:49,388 --> 00:34:50,754
Phew!
710
00:34:57,563 --> 00:35:00,630
Hey! Knock it off!
There's a kid back there!
711
00:35:00,632 --> 00:35:03,100
I'm in danger.
712
00:35:42,574 --> 00:35:46,510
Hey, that's no fair.
I don't got none of them.
713
00:35:53,585 --> 00:35:55,252
Uh-oh.
714
00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:03,793
Hey, hey!
715
00:36:03,795 --> 00:36:05,028
Uh-oh.
716
00:36:22,347 --> 00:36:23,680
Ooh.
717
00:37:00,686 --> 00:37:02,152
Damn it!
718
00:37:06,191 --> 00:37:09,059
And remember, kids,
TV violence is fine
719
00:37:09,061 --> 00:37:11,695
as long as you
don't show a nipple.
720
00:37:29,514 --> 00:37:30,580
Perfect.
721
00:37:30,582 --> 00:37:33,450
The earthlings are
destroying themselves.
722
00:37:33,452 --> 00:37:35,919
Yeah, it's really great,
isn't it, guys?
723
00:37:35,921 --> 00:37:37,988
We went to summer camp together.
724
00:37:43,395 --> 00:37:45,762
Bye! Thanks for having me.
725
00:37:48,100 --> 00:37:49,733
Huh?
726
00:37:53,238 --> 00:37:55,805
It appears that I
am now the only one
727
00:37:55,807 --> 00:37:57,407
with radioactive powers,
728
00:37:57,409 --> 00:38:00,043
which will allow me
to unleash my fury...
729
00:38:00,045 --> 00:38:02,312
Oh, I talked too long.
730
00:38:32,744 --> 00:38:35,245
- We're gonna make it!
- Trust me, we're not.
731
00:38:49,261 --> 00:38:50,827
Huh?
Huh?
732
00:38:50,829 --> 00:38:52,128
Huh?
Huh? Huh?
733
00:38:58,103 --> 00:38:59,269
Whoa!
734
00:38:59,271 --> 00:39:00,670
Whoo-hoo!
735
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:02,839
Road house.
736
00:39:21,493 --> 00:39:23,026
Aah-aah!
737
00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:24,954
Say hi to Maude Flanders.
738
00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:29,692
No. You say hi
to Muriel Goldman.
739
00:40:29,694 --> 00:40:31,628
Who?
740
00:41:00,759 --> 00:41:02,926
What are you
still doing here?
741
00:41:02,928 --> 00:41:04,828
I think you're gonna get
a kick out of this.
742
00:41:04,830 --> 00:41:06,763
You're parked behind me
at your place.
743
00:41:06,765 --> 00:41:08,097
That is funny.
744
00:41:08,099 --> 00:41:09,432
Hey, listen, I...
745
00:41:09,434 --> 00:41:11,000
I'm sorry we fought.
746
00:41:11,002 --> 00:41:14,070
I just wanted
to make you laugh and cry.
747
00:41:14,072 --> 00:41:16,072
You see, I'm a Family Guy.
748
00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:17,106
I understand.
749
00:41:17,108 --> 00:41:19,342
I'm a The Simpsons.
750
00:41:19,344 --> 00:41:21,978
Look, even if we
don't work as best pals,
751
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:24,013
I respect you.
You, too.
752
00:41:24,015 --> 00:41:27,650
Let's just agree
to stay a half hour
away from each other.
753
00:41:27,652 --> 00:41:30,653
With a pile of
garbage between us.
754
00:41:31,690 --> 00:41:35,325
Worst chicken fight ever.
755
00:41:39,297 --> 00:41:41,965
It sure is nice to
be back in Quahog.
756
00:41:41,967 --> 00:41:45,668
Oh, and thank God
all the commotion about
Dad's comic blew over.
757
00:41:45,670 --> 00:41:47,837
Oh, my God, I had a comic?
That's hilarious!
758
00:41:47,839 --> 00:41:50,039
Well, you may not be
a cartoonist anymore,
759
00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:52,775
but you are a local hero
for defending our beer,
760
00:41:52,777 --> 00:41:55,845
and apparently, that's more
important than hating women.
761
00:41:55,847 --> 00:41:58,715
So here you go,
a Pawtucket
Patriot Ale.
762
00:41:58,717 --> 00:42:01,618
What? I don't understand.
Ain't the brewery
out of business?
763
00:42:01,620 --> 00:42:03,720
We lost a court case.
Yes, we lost,
764
00:42:03,722 --> 00:42:05,388
but how are they
gonna enforce it?
765
00:42:05,390 --> 00:42:07,023
What, are they
gonna come here?
766
00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:09,659
I think we know that's
never gonna happen.
767
00:42:09,661 --> 00:42:12,395
Hey, Stewie, I'm sorry Bart
didn't want to be your friend.
768
00:42:12,397 --> 00:42:14,230
What? No! What are
you talking about?
769
00:42:14,232 --> 00:42:15,832
He was lame.
If you ask me,
770
00:42:15,834 --> 00:42:18,001
he kind of sounded
like a girl.
Really?
771
00:42:18,003 --> 00:42:19,736
Kind of seemed like
you idolized him.
772
00:42:19,738 --> 00:42:22,805
And I can understand losing
a friend and feeling rejected.
773
00:42:22,807 --> 00:42:24,340
Course you can!
You're a loser.
774
00:42:24,342 --> 00:42:25,909
But not me.
I'm a lone wolf.
775
00:42:25,911 --> 00:42:28,878
Speaking of which,
I'm gonna go howl at the moon.
776
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:31,114
Don't need nobody.
777
00:42:56,174 --> 00:42:59,375
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606
778
00:42:59,377 --> 00:43:00,743
Shh.
779
00:43:00,745 --> 00:43:04,013
♪ And now the show is over now. ♪