1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:03,797
Attention boys and ghouls. Nope.
2
00:00:03,870 --> 00:00:08,034
Every Halloween, I dress up in an amazing
costume and you never get what I am.
3
00:00:08,141 --> 00:00:10,371
No, we get what you are. An
adult man who enjoys dress up.
4
00:00:10,643 --> 00:00:12,235
Very funny, Rosa.
5
00:00:12,312 --> 00:00:14,678
This year, that won't
be a problem
6
00:00:14,881 --> 00:00:16,678
because you're going
to pick my costume.
7
00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:18,312
(ALL GROANING)
Ah, come on.
8
00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:21,710
Uh, Ms. Pacman's nipple?
9
00:00:21,988 --> 00:00:23,421
No, that's brown.
10
00:00:23,656 --> 00:00:24,645
Why would you know that?
11
00:00:25,025 --> 00:00:27,653
To be or not to be.
Not to be.
12
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:28,987
Thank you.
13
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:30,590
Argh!
14
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:33,097
Joan of Arc? Rod Stewart?
Martha Stewart?
15
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,392
(SIGHS) He-Man. Master
of the Universe.
16
00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,899
I got it. Gay Robin Hood.
17
00:00:38,171 --> 00:00:39,832
Yes, that's it.
18
00:00:39,939 --> 00:00:41,839
GINA: Oh, my gosh,
that's what it is.
19
00:00:42,442 --> 00:00:44,433
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
20
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:58,000
Ripped By mstoll
21
00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,002
Oh, hey there, Captain.
22
00:01:10,170 --> 00:01:12,434
Just curious, do you happen
to know what today is?
23
00:01:12,605 --> 00:01:13,833
Well, based on the
fact that yesterday
24
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,876
was the birthday of legendary
Dutch flautist Frans Brüggen,
25
00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:19,611
and a week ago was October
24th, I'd say today is...
26
00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:21,839
It's Halloween. Just say it's Halloween.
It's Halloween.
27
00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:23,849
All right. And what
happened last Halloween?
28
00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:25,712
Oh, I listened to the CD
I bought the night before
29
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:27,252
at the Frans Brüggen
birthday concert.
30
00:01:27,387 --> 00:01:28,581
Please stop saying Brüggen.
31
00:01:28,688 --> 00:01:31,521
Last year you bet me that you
could steal my Medal of Valor.
32
00:01:31,891 --> 00:01:32,880
And you did.
33
00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,427
Consequently, I was forced to
do your paperwork for a week,
34
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:38,358
and to say words I thought
I'd never have to say.
35
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:42,868
Jake Peralta is an amazing
detective/genius.
36
00:01:43,203 --> 00:01:45,228
But now, it's time for round
two of our Halloween bet.
37
00:01:45,738 --> 00:01:48,206
This year, I believe I'll make
things more difficult for myself.
38
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,402
Let's say, what? I'll steal the
watch right off your wrist.
39
00:01:52,312 --> 00:01:54,177
Or we could just not
do it at all this year.
40
00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:55,775
What?
41
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:58,181
Sir, with all due respect...
42
00:01:58,251 --> 00:02:00,310
Come on, homie.
No?
43
00:02:00,386 --> 00:02:01,717
It's not worth all the trouble,
44
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:04,348
just so you might call me
an amazing captain/genius.
45
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,615
And give me one week
of overtime for free.
46
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:10,455
All right, fine. I'll double the overtime.
I'll triple it. I'll quadruple it.
47
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:12,792
I will five-druple it. I'll
five-druple the overtime.
48
00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:17,234
Got his attention.
He's coming back to me.
49
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:18,531
Just to clarify,
50
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,573
if you steal my
watch by midnight,
51
00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,232
I will do your
paperwork for a week.
52
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:27,268
But if you fail, you will give me
five weeks of overtime for free.
53
00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:28,771
Correct.
54
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:30,941
I'm doing a cost-benefit
analysis in my head.
55
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,684
The benefits outweigh the costs.
56
00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:36,084
We have reached an accord.
Accords!
57
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:38,983
Handing out these safety
pumpkins to neighborhood kids
58
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:41,322
is a cornerstone in
community relations.
59
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:44,724
And putting them together is a
boring stone in testing my patience.
60
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,788
We can use an assembly
line so it'll go quicker.
61
00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:48,958
Oh, that's a great
idea, Terrence.
62
00:02:49,202 --> 00:02:51,898
However, is there any way
I can skip doing that
63
00:02:51,971 --> 00:02:53,438
and instead not do that?
64
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,267
I have an urgent matter
to attend to.
65
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:58,875
Okay. No problem. Just come back
and help us when you're done.
66
00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:01,673
Thank you. I'll leave
you guys with this.
67
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,907
One-duhl plus one-duhl
68
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,814
equals toodles.
69
00:03:06,953 --> 00:03:08,011
(CHUCKLES)
70
00:03:08,221 --> 00:03:10,689
Seriously, Sarge? You're
just gonna let her go?
71
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:13,586
Look, a year ago, I would've
been thinking the same thing,
72
00:03:13,826 --> 00:03:16,351
but I've learned to give
her the benefit of the doubt.
73
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:19,430
What kind of urgent matter could
Gina possibly have to attend to?
74
00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:22,991
She's already checked herself out in every
reflective surface around the precinct.
75
00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:26,661
Including my lip gloss. She said
she looked better when I frowned.
76
00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:33,371
I was behind the door.
77
00:03:34,013 --> 00:03:35,241
Greetings, comrades,
78
00:03:35,315 --> 00:03:38,773
and welcome to the most important
briefing of your lives.
79
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:42,120
As you all know, the Holt-Peralta
Halloween bet has been made,
80
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,247
and the clock doth tick.
81
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:45,580
What's with the tux?
82
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,250
I decided to class up
this year's event.
83
00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:49,825
I bought it off a disgraced
magician and it is
84
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,395
chock full of scarves.
85
00:03:53,032 --> 00:03:54,090
What? How?
86
00:03:54,167 --> 00:03:56,101
A real magician
never tells, young man.
87
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:58,898
Now, let's get started. I've been
planning this for three months.
88
00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:01,335
You've all been given a
specific role and a codename.
89
00:04:01,474 --> 00:04:04,409
Rosa, you're The Dagger.
Sarge, The Hammer.
90
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,511
Amy, The Hall Monitor.
91
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,112
Yeah! Suck it.
92
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:11,114
Scully and Hitchcock, I'll call you your
real names so you don't get confused.
93
00:04:11,184 --> 00:04:12,242
Smart.
What?
94
00:04:12,318 --> 00:04:15,287
And, Boyle, as requested, you
will be The Deuce.
95
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:17,116
Although, I still think you
should reconsider that codename.
96
00:04:17,290 --> 00:04:19,850
Nope. Deuce. It's like
Ace but twice as cool.
97
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,654
It is not.
It's a turd.
98
00:04:21,828 --> 00:04:24,956
Now because of last year, the Captain
will suspect that you are all helping me,
99
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,226
so we will never get
anywhere near his watch, but
100
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,799
the actual theft
will be pulled off
101
00:04:30,236 --> 00:04:32,227
by Dan McCreary aka
102
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:34,935
Fingers.
103
00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:36,200
How you doing?
104
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:37,839
Call me Fingers.
105
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,212
DIAZ: Hey, I
remember this guy.
106
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:43,313
That's probably because you've
arrested him twice for pick-pocketing.
107
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,647
You have a criminal
helping you? That's crazy.
108
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:46,776
Grow up, Amy.
109
00:04:46,853 --> 00:04:49,981
Now, we will all work together as a
team to move the Captain into position.
110
00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:52,286
Once there, Fingers,
loving that codename,
111
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,826
will remove the Captain's
watch and replace it with
112
00:04:55,061 --> 00:04:56,790
this replica watch.
113
00:04:57,063 --> 00:04:58,724
Oh, that is a very dead dove.
114
00:04:59,399 --> 00:05:01,128
Ooh. All right.
(CLEARS THROAT)
115
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,228
This replica watch.
116
00:05:03,503 --> 00:05:06,267
Jake, if he's been arrested before,
how do you know he's any good?
117
00:05:06,472 --> 00:05:09,407
Perhaps this will answer your
question. Fingers!
118
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:13,807
Whoa, that's our stuff.
119
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:16,408
My croissant.
120
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:17,914
But where's the smoked turkey?
121
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,978
Check your breast pocket.
122
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,416
Come on.
123
00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:24,656
PERALTA: Let's win this bet.
124
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:26,450
(CLEARS THROAT)
125
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,352
Salutations, Captain.
126
00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:31,425
I was wondering, per chance,
127
00:05:31,764 --> 00:05:33,823
if you would like to attend
the opera with me this eve.
128
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,124
I'll pass,
129
00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:38,431
choosing instead to stay in my
locked office with my watch
130
00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,670
still safely on my wrist.
131
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:43,867
I had a feeling you
might say that, thusfore,
132
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,738
I've decided to bring the opera
133
00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:46,970
to you.
134
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,675
Hitchcock! Scully!
135
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:54,413
(SINGING)
Oh, Fortuna
136
00:05:55,888 --> 00:05:59,790
Now, Hammer. It's time!
It's Hammer time!
137
00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:01,120
I love life.
138
00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:03,694
You're up, Dagger.
139
00:06:04,931 --> 00:06:06,523
No need for the somersaults.
140
00:06:06,599 --> 00:06:07,861
Disagree.
141
00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:12,436
PERALTA: Hall Monitor,
now! Block his path.
142
00:06:13,973 --> 00:06:16,737
Okay, Boyle. And only because
you insisted I say this,
143
00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:17,935
it's time to drop a deuce.
144
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:24,214
And now, the Jake and bake.
145
00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,650
Whoa! Come on, Amy. Not cool.
146
00:06:31,724 --> 00:06:33,089
That's a guy.
147
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:35,016
Peralta, that's enough!
148
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:41,189
Sir? Sir, I'm so sorry.
149
00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,461
I just wanted somebody
to check my son's candy.
150
00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:44,867
Please, let me help you up.
151
00:06:45,004 --> 00:06:46,062
(GRUNTS)
152
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:49,240
On behalf of the
Nine-Nine, I apologize.
153
00:06:49,342 --> 00:06:50,832
Fingers has grabbed the package.
154
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,901
I didn't mean for that
to sound so dirty.
155
00:06:52,979 --> 00:06:55,607
HOLT: I'll have someone check your
son's bag of candy immediately.
156
00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:56,705
Clark!
157
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:57,841
Yes, sir.
158
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:00,309
Thank you, sir.
159
00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:02,183
If you need anything,
160
00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:04,255
please contact me.
161
00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:05,381
I'll do that. Thank you.
162
00:07:05,458 --> 00:07:08,222
The replica is on
the wrist. Game over.
163
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:12,159
I know all this was done in the spirit of a
friendly bet, but this all went too far.
164
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,994
Am I understood? Peralta?
165
00:07:15,134 --> 00:07:18,626
Yes, sir. Completely
understood, sir. I'm sorry.
166
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:23,336
But not as sorry as you're
going to be at midnight.
167
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:27,201
When you realize you've
lost everything.
168
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,008
Hello there, Hank.
169
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:36,020
I believe a tall, nimble fingered man
named McCreary left a package for me.
170
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:38,022
Yeah, it's here. Give me a sec.
Thanks.
171
00:07:38,324 --> 00:07:40,792
Ooh! I'm going to make a movie
of you receiving the watch.
172
00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:42,520
Here...
173
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:43,890
Let me pinch your lips
and make them more fulsome.
174
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,123
Don't touch my face.
175
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,029
Fine, but if you have
dull lips, that's on you.
176
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,498
This is Charles Boyle for
Jake Action News.
177
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:50,626
Thank you.
178
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:52,694
Okay, open the box. Here we go.
179
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:55,335
PERALTA: That's weird.
It's just a note.
180
00:07:55,975 --> 00:07:57,442
Thanks for the watch.
181
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:58,738
Oh, no.
182
00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:00,911
McCreary stole
the Captain's watch.
183
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:03,708
Breaking news, there has been a
terrible development in the...
184
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:05,045
Not now, Charles.
185
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,919
Good call.
Media blackout.
186
00:08:10,957 --> 00:08:12,549
We're okay.
It's not over yet.
187
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:15,456
I still have two hours to find
Fingers and get Holt's watch back.
188
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,892
But how?
He could be anywhere.
189
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,430
He could be in Canada by now.
190
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:21,998
There are so many forests up there,
that country is one giant hiding place.
191
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:24,431
Boyle, I kind of need you to
be positive right now, okay?
192
00:08:24,537 --> 00:08:26,300
Yes. Sorry. Damn my mouth.
193
00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,135
All right, let's look up
McCreary's arrest records,
194
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:30,334
past addresses,
known associates.
195
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,704
Peralta?
196
00:08:32,678 --> 00:08:33,702
Run, Deuce, run.
197
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,746
If you'll excuse me,
sir, I have to,
198
00:08:36,148 --> 00:08:37,911
make urines in de toilet.
199
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:39,843
Yeah, that's how
people say words.
200
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:41,110
I'd like to ask a favor.
201
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,155
Can we please press pause
on this bet for 10 minutes?
202
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:46,282
Sure, or we can press fast forward and
I can watch you talk like a chipmunk.
203
00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:48,519
(IN HIGH PITCHED VOICE) Peralta,
I'm very disappointed in you.
204
00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,526
Yes, that would be very funny.
205
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:51,585
How do you ruin everything?
206
00:08:51,664 --> 00:08:53,757
Kevin is bringing dinner for me
and I don't think he'd appreciate
207
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,163
this bet we made.
208
00:08:55,234 --> 00:08:58,135
This watch was given to me by
his father just before he died.
209
00:08:58,271 --> 00:08:59,295
Oh.
210
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,930
A deathwatch.
Cool.
211
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,099
Please never call it that.
Copy that.
212
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,904
Oh, you know what? You can have
the 10 minutes, no problem.
213
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:07,309
Love you.
Bye!
214
00:09:07,813 --> 00:09:08,802
Boyle,
215
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,049
Fingers just texted. He said
he wants to meet up.
216
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:12,547
Yes.
Let's get out of here.
217
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,653
Be cool, Holt's watching. Pretend I
just said something really funny.
218
00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:18,422
(LAUGHING)
219
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:21,216
Get out of here.
We've got to go.
220
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,294
Enjoy the vest and the light.
221
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:29,564
You'll be so safe it's scary!
222
00:09:29,936 --> 00:09:31,096
Lame.
223
00:09:31,437 --> 00:09:32,631
That kid gets it.
224
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,533
Thanks for finally
joining us, Gina.
225
00:09:34,707 --> 00:09:36,675
We had to stuff 400 of
these things without you.
226
00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:39,835
Great seeing you guys.
Unfortunately, I cannot stay long.
227
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,380
I just came to grab a
healthy snack.
228
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:43,472
Got it.
229
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:46,609
I'm still attending to that urgent
matter I was talking about earlier.
230
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,117
Which is what exactly?
231
00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:51,553
Hmm, funny you should ask,
you inquisitive little ferret.
232
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:53,652
I've been practicing
my dance moves.
233
00:09:53,726 --> 00:09:57,025
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
234
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:58,255
Okay.
235
00:09:58,431 --> 00:10:03,368
My dance troupe Floorgasm is performing
tonight in the Booty Shake Grand Prix.
236
00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:05,628
Gina, what the hell?
237
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:06,795
I defended you
238
00:10:06,872 --> 00:10:10,535
and your urgent matter was just
practicing for some stupid dance show?
239
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:14,712
Look, I can't help it if my life
is literally a Step Up movie.
240
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:15,939
Oh, is it?
241
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:18,313
Then I suggest you think of
this moment as the montage
242
00:10:18,384 --> 00:10:21,080
where you buckle down
and take your job seriously,
243
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:22,710
so your boss doesn't kill you.
244
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:26,789
Fine, then I suggest you figure out
how to turn on all these sprinklers,
245
00:10:26,892 --> 00:10:29,122
because I'm about
to tell a story.
246
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:33,856
Okay,
247
00:10:33,933 --> 00:10:36,060
Fingers wants us to meet him
in that alley over there.
248
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,534
What's the playbook, Jakey?
249
00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:40,729
Well, he left me that note in
the bar to try and scare me,
250
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,667
but it only made me angry.
251
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:44,739
We go in hard and tough,
252
00:10:44,810 --> 00:10:46,675
and take what's rightfully ours.
253
00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:47,906
I want $300.
254
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,845
Absolutely. No problem.
Whatever you need.
255
00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:51,780
I happen to not have
any money on me though.
256
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:54,081
Charles, do you have any cash?
Um, I have
257
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,853
$120
258
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,754
and my lucky $2 bill that I found
on my first day of kindergarten.
259
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:00,950
Okay, so that's $122.
260
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,358
And I want your shoes.
What? Fine.
261
00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:05,689
Here.
Take my shoes.
262
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:07,365
Can I please have the watch now?
263
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,294
You already have it.
You had it all along.
264
00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:10,493
What? What are you
talking about?
265
00:11:10,569 --> 00:11:11,695
I put it in the glove
compartment of your car.
266
00:11:11,771 --> 00:11:14,535
I didn't want to walk around with
a stolen police captain's watch.
267
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:15,767
I'm not an idiot.
Great.
268
00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:16,933
Well, I would say thank you,
269
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:19,569
but even for a criminal, your
customer service has been abysmal.
270
00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:21,476
My pleasure.
Have a good night.
271
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:23,639
Let's get back to the
precinct and win this bet.
272
00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:24,874
Jake. Jake, your car!
273
00:11:24,950 --> 00:11:28,249
No! Ow! Glass!
No! Ow! Syringe!
274
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:29,716
Jake, you parked
in front of a hydrant.
275
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:32,949
Stupid fire department! We gotta think
of a way to catch up with that truck.
276
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,754
All right.
Oh, how about this?
277
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:36,521
Yes!
Hop in!
278
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,091
Go!
We're doing it, Boyle.
279
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:44,096
We're Tokyo drifting!
280
00:11:45,971 --> 00:11:48,235
PERALTA: Argh. I can't
see the tow truck anymore.
281
00:11:48,307 --> 00:11:50,832
Charles, how come you're
so much slower than a car?
282
00:11:51,243 --> 00:11:53,473
I'm just trying not to
jostle you too much.
283
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:55,171
You're the champagne of friends.
284
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:56,778
Look! There's a
bar up ahead.
285
00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:58,211
Maybe we can get a cab up there.
286
00:11:58,350 --> 00:11:59,783
There's still time to get that watch.
All right.
287
00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,078
Excuse me!
288
00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:03,143
Excuse me!
289
00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:04,779
Shoeless cop coming through.
290
00:12:04,990 --> 00:12:08,084
Roar!
Charles!
291
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,218
Jake, where are you?
292
00:12:09,295 --> 00:12:11,593
Come on! Argh!
293
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:14,724
I was going to wear this jacket to
my cousin's bat mitzvah next week!
294
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,834
Take it easy, man!
Get off of me!
295
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,335
BOYLE: Jake, party bus!
296
00:12:18,437 --> 00:12:19,961
Toot toot!
Get on board!
297
00:12:20,106 --> 00:12:21,630
Good idea, Boyle.
298
00:12:21,707 --> 00:12:22,901
Get off!
299
00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:25,939
Ahhh! It's got
my hand. Ahhh!
300
00:12:26,011 --> 00:12:27,000
Move.
301
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:29,339
NYPD.
302
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,916
I won't stop the party.
But I do need the bus.
303
00:12:32,051 --> 00:12:33,177
All right.
304
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:35,981
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
305
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,656
Let's dance. Meow!
306
00:12:41,994 --> 00:12:44,121
All right. What is
happening here?
307
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:47,222
It's Halloween, man.
Lighten up! (LAUGHS)
308
00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:49,426
It's Halloween!
309
00:12:49,568 --> 00:12:51,297
Halloween!
310
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,934
Well, gotta do something
for 16 blocks.
311
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:57,837
Halloween!
Halloween!
312
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:00,270
Hey,
313
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:01,335
I've been looking for you.
314
00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,538
We need to talk.
315
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,480
Can we not do this
right now, Terry?
316
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,677
I'm in the midst of a
personal tragedy.
317
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:10,049
Oh, my God, is everything
okay with your family?
318
00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:12,884
Family? What?
No, this is serious.
319
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,685
Floorgasm just came by and
danced me out of the group.
320
00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:18,056
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
321
00:13:27,072 --> 00:13:30,439
It's not fair. I founded the group
and now they want to kick me out
322
00:13:30,509 --> 00:13:33,103
just because I missed eight
rehearsals in a row.
323
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,170
I never thought I'd say this,
324
00:13:35,281 --> 00:13:36,805
but Floorgasm has a point.
325
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,576
You're being super
irresponsible.
326
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:41,150
You have a baditude.
327
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:42,578
That's a bad attitude.
328
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:43,713
I love that.
329
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:45,783
Look,
330
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:49,316
I didn't want you to know because
it's so off brand for me but,
331
00:13:49,795 --> 00:13:52,855
I'm missing rehearsals because I've
been going to college at night.
332
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,332
I'm trying to finish my
bachelor's degree or whatever.
333
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:56,525
Really?
334
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,327
That's great, Gina.
I'm so proud of you.
335
00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:01,162
And while I generally
nail everything,
336
00:14:01,307 --> 00:14:05,175
I'm just having trouble balancing my
studies and my passion for dance.
337
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:06,742
Plus you're working full time.
338
00:14:06,979 --> 00:14:09,743
Yeah, that actually doesn't
factor into it whatsoever.
339
00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:13,541
Anyway, it doesn't matter, because
I'm never going to dance again.
340
00:14:13,919 --> 00:14:16,217
The world just lost an angel.
341
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:17,914
You know what?
342
00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:19,457
I'm going to
dance with you tonight.
343
00:14:20,125 --> 00:14:21,456
I'm not going to let
those losers
344
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,256
punish you for doing
something good.
345
00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:25,524
School is cool.
346
00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:26,790
That's why it rhymes.
347
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:29,129
Terry, you are the best.
348
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:31,829
World, your angel has returned.
349
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:33,394
(LAUGHS)
350
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:34,631
Oh, God.
351
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:37,135
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
352
00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:39,969
Thanks for the ride.
Tag me in those pics!
353
00:14:41,247 --> 00:14:42,271
Ah.
354
00:14:42,348 --> 00:14:44,748
Hi there. I'm Jake
Peralta, NYPD.
355
00:14:44,850 --> 00:14:46,909
You guys towed my car and
I really need it back.
356
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:48,678
Mmm-hmm.
357
00:14:48,854 --> 00:14:50,048
Got a badge?
358
00:14:50,222 --> 00:14:51,814
Uh, yeah, I sure do.
359
00:14:52,057 --> 00:14:53,046
Uh...
360
00:14:53,359 --> 00:14:55,020
Argh! My badge!
361
00:14:55,427 --> 00:14:57,987
Those demons on the party
bus must have stolen it.
362
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,189
If you got a license and a credit
card, just pay to get it out.
363
00:15:00,332 --> 00:15:01,560
Oh, great. Thank you.
364
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:04,225
Finally something goes right.
It's gone horribly wrong.
365
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:07,199
I don't have my
ID or my credit cards.
366
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:10,208
But I really need that car.
Please, I'm begging you.
367
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:13,005
Rules are rules. I can't
do nothing for you.
368
00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:16,271
No. Please. Don't shut the
window. Don't shut the window.
369
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:18,409
You got it.
370
00:15:18,550 --> 00:15:19,642
Just going to give up on this,
371
00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:21,686
and head straight home without
trying anything else.
372
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:29,154
Argh! Oh!
373
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:32,052
Look at the view from up here.
374
00:15:32,998 --> 00:15:34,659
I didn't know we
live near water.
375
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:35,893
(GIGGLES)
376
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,202
Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow!
377
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,070
(SCREAMING)
378
00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:41,866
Ugh! Perfect.
379
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,040
(GROANS)
380
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,002
(SIGHS)
381
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,471
I can still win this bet.
382
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,347
I can still win.
383
00:15:54,553 --> 00:15:57,545
No! No! No!
384
00:15:58,824 --> 00:16:00,223
MAN: Freeze! Don't move!
385
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:02,818
Oh, my God.
386
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,659
There is a tiny chance I
may not win this bet.
387
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:09,725
Talk.
388
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:10,891
Now.
389
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:12,062
You seem upset.
390
00:16:12,271 --> 00:16:14,831
Well, here's how the story goes.
391
00:16:14,907 --> 00:16:17,341
Remember that little
Halloween bet that we made?
392
00:16:17,409 --> 00:16:19,468
You probably don't even remember
it was so early this morning.
393
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:20,603
Anywhoozle,
394
00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:24,546
it turns out the criminal I hired to
lift your watch was not trustworthy
395
00:16:24,616 --> 00:16:27,346
and I ended up contracting
tuberculosis of the foot
396
00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:29,979
and subsequently
losing your deathwatch.
397
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:31,147
But in the end,
398
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:33,486
I like to think this whole thing is
going to bring us closer together
399
00:16:33,592 --> 00:16:35,787
and isn't that what
it's really all about?
400
00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:38,089
Merry Christmas!
401
00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:40,458
What are you saying? My
watch is right here.
402
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:42,898
No, I made a switch.
That's a fake.
403
00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:44,126
No,
404
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,468
this one's a fake.
405
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:47,897
What?
406
00:16:47,973 --> 00:16:48,997
No.
407
00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:50,199
What?
408
00:16:50,309 --> 00:16:51,367
No.
409
00:16:51,543 --> 00:16:52,567
What?
410
00:16:54,313 --> 00:16:55,337
No.
411
00:16:55,581 --> 00:16:57,173
You were behind all this?
412
00:16:57,916 --> 00:16:59,543
You played me?
413
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,980
Like Frans Brüggen
plays the flute.
414
00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:05,749
But how? I've been planning
this theft for three months.
415
00:17:05,891 --> 00:17:07,916
I know, but I've been
planning it
416
00:17:08,460 --> 00:17:09,825
for a year.
417
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,123
Last Halloween, after
you won the bet,
418
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:15,392
I went back to my office to
do everyone's paperwork.
419
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:17,162
But I did no paperwork.
420
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:19,227
I started to plot my revenge.
421
00:17:19,671 --> 00:17:22,697
I began by creating
a word cloud.
422
00:17:22,941 --> 00:17:24,067
But how could you
possibly have known
423
00:17:24,143 --> 00:17:25,974
I was going to try and
steal your watch?
424
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:28,272
I knew you would try to take
something important to me.
425
00:17:28,414 --> 00:17:31,508
During the year,
I drew your attention
426
00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:32,572
to my watch.
427
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,278
You're eight minutes late.
428
00:17:35,654 --> 00:17:37,588
You're 14 minutes late.
429
00:17:37,656 --> 00:17:39,146
You're three minutes early
430
00:17:39,458 --> 00:17:40,925
in Chicago.
431
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,185
You annoyed me into stealing it.
432
00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:46,058
Exactly.
Now you had a target,
433
00:17:46,131 --> 00:17:47,359
but you needed a plan.
434
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:50,761
Fortunately, it walked through
the door, handcuffed to Diaz.
435
00:17:51,103 --> 00:17:53,833
This scumbag pickpocket
is Dan McCreary.
436
00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:55,864
He can take anything
off of anyone.
437
00:17:56,041 --> 00:17:57,406
Anything?
438
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,371
Anyone?
439
00:17:59,445 --> 00:18:01,675
HOLT: The look on your face.
Priceless.
440
00:18:01,847 --> 00:18:04,782
I put McCreary into my
employ immediately.
441
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,111
Fast-forward to this morning.
442
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,008
You commenced your plan.
443
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,681
McCreary stole my watch and then
replaced it with the replica.
444
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:12,188
And while you celebrated,
445
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,919
McCreary put my watch
back in my pocket.
446
00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:17,354
The watch never left my person.
447
00:18:17,863 --> 00:18:22,266
(SINGING)
Duh, duh, duh
448
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:23,833
I can see that you're
enjoying this.
449
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:26,131
Not nearly as much as
I enjoyed phase two.
450
00:18:26,205 --> 00:18:27,194
Phase two!
451
00:18:27,306 --> 00:18:28,898
HOLT: While you
met with McCreary,
452
00:18:29,007 --> 00:18:31,942
Santiago placed a fire hydrant
in front of your car,
453
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:34,205
which she then towed away.
454
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,108
Next, I had to take
Charles out of the equation.
455
00:18:37,249 --> 00:18:38,409
He had a badge and a gun
456
00:18:38,517 --> 00:18:40,109
and he would do anything
to help you.
457
00:18:40,385 --> 00:18:42,250
Enter a parade of drunks
458
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:43,982
that separated the two of you
459
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:46,422
long enough for Terry
to kidnap Charles.
460
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:48,422
Then, two bears
461
00:18:48,494 --> 00:18:50,758
spilled their drinks on you
and stole your wallet.
462
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:51,887
Those bears?
463
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,123
Scully
464
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,822
and Hitchcock.
465
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,434
I can't pull my head off!
466
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,535
If Terry kidnapped Charles,
467
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:00,504
how did Charles tell me to
get on the party bus?
468
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:02,597
Eight months ago at a
morning briefing,
469
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:03,971
I told the squad
470
00:19:04,042 --> 00:19:07,239
that a group of thieves
was targeting party buses
471
00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:09,277
so I could record
Charles saying...
472
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,273
Jake, party bus!
473
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:13,477
Toot toot!
Get on board!
474
00:19:15,554 --> 00:19:17,613
I knew Boyle would never
knowingly betray me.
475
00:19:17,689 --> 00:19:19,816
With your jacket and shoes gone,
you didn't look like a cop,
476
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,086
but you still had your badge.
477
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:23,151
That is, until you entered
478
00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:24,387
the party bus.
479
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:30,201
Rosa's feline dancing distracted you as a
mysterious partier stole your badge on...
480
00:19:30,469 --> 00:19:32,266
Halloween!
481
00:19:32,571 --> 00:19:35,506
It was you in the mask,
you sly son of a bitch.
482
00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:37,099
Well done.
483
00:19:37,242 --> 00:19:38,266
But I do have to ask.
484
00:19:38,443 --> 00:19:39,933
Those guys at the impound,
485
00:19:40,145 --> 00:19:41,407
did they really smash my car?
486
00:19:41,580 --> 00:19:43,047
No, in fact, I had them wash it.
487
00:19:43,115 --> 00:19:44,207
(LAUGHS)
488
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:46,443
Good one, Captain.
You can't wash a car.
489
00:19:47,219 --> 00:19:49,278
So how'd you convince
the whole squad to betray me?
490
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:50,445
What'd you offer them?
491
00:19:50,522 --> 00:19:53,150
I asked them if they wanted to embarrass
you and they instantly said yes.
492
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,349
I'm not going to lie.
That turns me on a little bit.
493
00:19:55,427 --> 00:19:56,485
Mmm.
494
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:57,620
So,
495
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,096
in addition to the
five weeks of free overtime,
496
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,523
I believe I'm owed
one more thing.
497
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,659
Yes.
498
00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:05,134
Here we go.
One second.
499
00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:09,596
(JEERING)
500
00:20:09,975 --> 00:20:11,203
Very well.
501
00:20:11,310 --> 00:20:12,709
Captain Raymond Holt,
502
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:17,780
you are an amazing
police captain/genius.
503
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:19,813
(CHEERING)
504
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:21,652
But be warned,
505
00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:24,481
I started planning next year's
heist just this minute.
506
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:25,580
Good.
507
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,284
Then you're only three
months behind.
508
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,656
You sick son of a bitch.
509
00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:33,993
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
510
00:20:37,736 --> 00:20:39,863
(APPLAUSE)
511
00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:43,267
Hey, don't look so sad.
512
00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:46,569
Floorgasm is just a rudderless
dance ship without you.
513
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,270
I would've gone with
Flock of Dumb-Dumbs.
514
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:49,942
JEFFORDS: I talked
to the Captain.
515
00:20:50,015 --> 00:20:51,812
We're all gonna pitch in and
help you manage your time
516
00:20:51,883 --> 00:20:53,874
so you can pursue
dance and school.
517
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:56,648
And I'd like to volunteer my
time to tutor you for free.
518
00:20:56,855 --> 00:20:58,288
Mmm, hard pass on that,
519
00:20:58,357 --> 00:21:01,793
but I do want to thank you guys for
being so understanding and nice.
520
00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:04,654
Now get your game
face on, Sarge.
521
00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:06,357
It's time to dance.
522
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:08,658
If you forget your moves,
just rip your cape off
523
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:10,759
and throw me up in the
air like a pizza.
524
00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:13,327
ANNOUNCER: Put your hands
together for the dance duo,
525
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:16,407
Mr. And Mrs. Terry Jeffords.
526
00:21:16,875 --> 00:21:18,866
I did not agree to that name.
527
00:21:19,044 --> 00:21:21,137
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
528
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:31,500
Ripped By mstoll