1
00:00:09,557 --> 00:00:11,523
You know, I respect their king
2
00:00:11,559 --> 00:00:13,926
for putting his face on everything,
but what is he holding?
3
00:00:13,961 --> 00:00:15,661
A diamond-encrusted
inhaler.
4
00:00:15,696 --> 00:00:18,797
He's crazy-afraid of having
asthma attacks and looking poor.
5
00:00:18,833 --> 00:00:20,799
10 klicks to the terrorist compound!
6
00:00:20,835 --> 00:00:21,967
It's "Go" time!
7
00:00:22,002 --> 00:00:23,669
Now, remember, we get in range,
8
00:00:23,704 --> 00:00:25,671
destroy the weapons cache, and get out.
9
00:00:25,706 --> 00:00:28,407
The local government
should never know we were here.
10
00:00:28,442 --> 00:00:30,409
But we'll always know, right, Stan?
11
00:00:30,444 --> 00:00:31,777
We'll always have the memory?
12
00:00:31,812 --> 00:00:34,947
That's right, Hooper.
That's right. We sure will.
13
00:00:37,985 --> 00:00:40,953
Prepare to die, building.
14
00:00:40,988 --> 00:00:43,422
Hope you don't have any building kids.
15
00:00:47,061 --> 00:00:50,028
Stan, we got company!
It's a giant metal bird!
16
00:00:50,064 --> 00:00:52,631
Move your arms
so it doesn't think we're worms!
17
00:00:52,666 --> 00:00:55,033
It's a drone, Dick...
one of ours.
18
00:00:55,069 --> 00:00:57,903
Probably here to film us
for some C.I.A. highlight reel.
19
00:00:57,938 --> 00:01:01,740
Everybody look badass!
20
00:01:06,113 --> 00:01:09,448
Oh, no! The bird's angry
you called it a drone!
21
00:01:09,483 --> 00:01:11,850
Aah!
22
00:01:14,555 --> 00:01:17,022
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
23
00:01:17,057 --> 00:01:20,893
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
24
00:01:20,928 --> 00:01:23,996
♪ the sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
25
00:01:24,031 --> 00:01:28,500
♪ and he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
26
00:01:30,404 --> 00:01:33,739
♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
27
00:01:33,774 --> 00:01:36,108
♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
28
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Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com web dl sync snarry
29
00:01:41,731 --> 00:01:43,882
Sir, we were about
to destroy our target
30
00:01:43,918 --> 00:01:45,884
when a drone flew over us
and took it out.
31
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,686
I know. I sent it.
32
00:01:47,721 --> 00:01:50,756
What?!
I wanted to eliminate all human error.
33
00:01:50,791 --> 00:01:52,624
I was afraid you'd make a mistake.
34
00:01:52,660 --> 00:01:54,660
And, well,
machines don't make mistakes.
35
00:01:54,695 --> 00:01:56,795
Sir, if you think
machines don't make mistakes,
36
00:01:56,830 --> 00:01:58,664
you haven't seen "Herbie Goes Bananas"!
37
00:01:58,699 --> 00:02:00,766
Herbie's plan worked perfectly, Smith.
38
00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:02,834
He won the race, the town was saved,
39
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:05,837
and everyone learned to love again.
40
00:02:05,873 --> 00:02:09,508
But if you knew you were sending
a drone, why also send us?
41
00:02:09,543 --> 00:02:12,778
Because I, too,
am a human that makes mistakes.
42
00:02:12,813 --> 00:02:15,914
But don't worry.
I'm working on that.
43
00:02:17,117 --> 00:02:19,518
Ah, soon, I will be a real robot.
44
00:02:19,553 --> 00:02:22,387
Then will you be happy, Pappa Geppetto?
45
00:02:22,423 --> 00:02:25,057
Nothin' will a-make me a-happier
46
00:02:25,092 --> 00:02:29,481
than to see my human boy
become a soulless a-robot boy.
47
00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:35,156
Kids, your father's in Thailand.
48
00:02:35,313 --> 00:02:37,646
We have the house to ourselves
for the weekend.
49
00:02:37,681 --> 00:02:39,381
Well, I know what I'm gonna do...
50
00:02:39,417 --> 00:02:40,916
a whole lot of nothing.
51
00:02:40,951 --> 00:02:44,319
I'm with Hayley. I'm gonna do
even more nothing than her.
52
00:02:44,355 --> 00:02:46,922
You couldn't slow down
to my speed if you tried.
53
00:02:46,957 --> 00:02:48,657
Only one way to settle it.
54
00:02:48,692 --> 00:02:52,261
I propose a slow-motion race
across the living room.
55
00:02:52,296 --> 00:02:54,263
Last one to touch the wall, wins.
56
00:02:54,298 --> 00:02:56,532
That sounds stupid. I'm in.
You're on.
57
00:02:56,567 --> 00:02:59,768
But if at any point you stop
moving, you're out of the race.
58
00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,670
Oh, I'm all up in this jam.
59
00:03:01,705 --> 00:03:03,405
I've always been good at moving in...
60
00:03:03,441 --> 00:03:07,776
...slow-motion.
61
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:10,579
Okay, everybody lined up?
62
00:03:10,614 --> 00:03:11,980
I'm playing, too.
63
00:03:12,016 --> 00:03:14,516
I'll move in slow-motion
across my bowl.
64
00:03:14,552 --> 00:03:16,652
On your mark...
get set...
65
00:03:16,687 --> 00:03:17,687
go!
66
00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,696
It was an honor just to compete.
67
00:03:30,334 --> 00:03:32,801
I used to love
post-mission happy hour,
68
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,337
back before machines took our jobs.
69
00:03:35,372 --> 00:03:37,606
If they're only gonna send
machines into the field,
70
00:03:37,641 --> 00:03:39,308
what's left for us to do?
71
00:03:39,343 --> 00:03:41,610
I'm sure they'll need people
to maintain the machines.
72
00:03:41,645 --> 00:03:43,479
You're right...
they'll need people
73
00:03:43,514 --> 00:03:46,715
to water them, feed them,
pick them up from the airport.
74
00:03:46,750 --> 00:03:49,318
I'm not doing squat for any machine!
75
00:03:49,353 --> 00:03:50,586
Unless it's a squat machine,
76
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,721
in which case I'm doing 3 sets of 12.
77
00:03:52,756 --> 00:03:54,857
There has to be a way
to prove to Bullock
78
00:03:54,892 --> 00:03:57,593
that we're better than machines.
79
00:03:59,396 --> 00:04:01,363
That's it!
We'll steal the king's inhaler.
80
00:04:01,398 --> 00:04:02,764
Steal his inhaler?
81
00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:05,000
Sure! It's something
a drone could never do!
82
00:04:05,035 --> 00:04:06,735
That's a great idea, Stan!
83
00:04:06,770 --> 00:04:09,505
But how are we gonna
get into that painting?
84
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:12,941
You're lucky you're beautiful, Jackson.
85
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:25,066
We sure had to
knock out a lot of guards
86
00:04:25,102 --> 00:04:26,341
to find uniforms that fit.
87
00:04:26,530 --> 00:04:27,862
Yeah, I kind of feel like
88
00:04:27,898 --> 00:04:29,898
there's a chance
we knocked out so many guards
89
00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:32,867
that we don't really
need to be in disguise anymore.
90
00:04:37,608 --> 00:04:40,108
Now, all we have to do
is take a photo to prove
91
00:04:40,143 --> 00:04:43,445
that this is the king's
diamond-encrusted inhaler.
92
00:04:43,480 --> 00:04:45,113
Dick, you take the picture.
93
00:04:45,148 --> 00:04:46,948
That way we'll have proof
and you won't be in the photo.
94
00:04:46,984 --> 00:04:49,951
Great idea!
I think my phone takes pictures.
95
00:04:49,987 --> 00:04:52,120
That's crazy, right?
96
00:04:52,155 --> 00:04:55,857
I just have to make it go on.
97
00:04:55,892 --> 00:04:57,652
Just swipe the screen
with your finger, Dick.
98
00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:01,029
No, swipe it.
With your finger.
99
00:05:01,064 --> 00:05:02,597
No, just...
Across it.
100
00:05:02,633 --> 00:05:04,132
Swipe it?
Like this.
101
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,001
Like this. Like this.
102
00:05:06,036 --> 00:05:07,869
Like... Dick.
Dick, like this.
103
00:05:07,904 --> 00:05:10,138
Like this.
Like this.
104
00:05:10,173 --> 00:05:12,007
Like this.
Like this.
105
00:05:12,042 --> 00:05:13,475
Got it!
106
00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:15,877
Okay, smile.
107
00:05:15,912 --> 00:05:18,480
Wait. No.
I'm in video mode.
108
00:05:18,515 --> 00:05:20,148
Now it's showing me my own face.
109
00:05:20,183 --> 00:05:22,183
Does this mean I'm on the YouTube?
Dick!
110
00:05:22,219 --> 00:05:24,019
I know! I know!
"Swipe"!
111
00:05:24,054 --> 00:05:26,154
Who are you?
112
00:05:26,189 --> 00:05:27,889
What are you doing in my chamber?
113
00:05:27,924 --> 00:05:30,158
Why don't I wake up
speaking my native tongue?
114
00:05:30,193 --> 00:05:32,027
Guards!
115
00:05:32,062 --> 00:05:35,664
You're busted!
Tell it to the guy who fixes your windows.
116
00:05:35,699 --> 00:05:37,298
Huh?
117
00:05:51,548 --> 00:05:53,048
We got to lose 'em, Jackson.
118
00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:54,916
I'm trying!
Trying?
119
00:05:54,951 --> 00:05:57,919
Your job was to memorize all the
best escape routes out of town!
120
00:05:57,954 --> 00:06:00,288
I got it! Just one more
right turn, and we are...
121
00:06:01,558 --> 00:06:03,525
Jackson, you idiot,
122
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,927
you've led us straight
into the Red-Light District!
123
00:06:05,962 --> 00:06:07,529
Quick!
Ditch the car!
124
00:06:07,564 --> 00:06:10,198
You boys want to slide into my tunnel?
125
00:06:10,233 --> 00:06:11,299
Back off, harlot!
126
00:06:12,969 --> 00:06:15,203
I was talking about my secret tunnel
127
00:06:15,238 --> 00:06:17,205
that leads outside of the city!
128
00:06:17,240 --> 00:06:20,108
You seemed like you were in danger!
129
00:06:20,143 --> 00:06:22,977
Hooper, you were on safe houses.
Get us to one.
130
00:06:23,013 --> 00:06:24,879
On it! Follow me!
131
00:06:32,989 --> 00:06:35,957
The safe house is right here!
132
00:06:35,992 --> 00:06:39,094
Whew! We're good!
133
00:06:39,129 --> 00:06:41,229
Hooper, this isn't a safe house.
134
00:06:41,264 --> 00:06:42,564
It's a Burger King!
135
00:06:42,599 --> 00:06:44,065
It's a U.S. corporation,
Stan,
136
00:06:44,101 --> 00:06:45,967
which makes it
technically U.S. soil.
137
00:06:46,002 --> 00:06:47,569
They can offer us asylum.
138
00:06:47,604 --> 00:06:49,170
And best of all,
with B.K.'s new,
139
00:06:49,206 --> 00:06:52,607
handy B.K. store locator app,
it was just a click away!
140
00:06:52,642 --> 00:06:55,844
That plug's on us, B.K.!
141
00:06:56,346 --> 00:06:59,047
Welcome to Burger King.
May I take your order?
142
00:06:59,082 --> 00:07:01,316
We're C.I.A. agents,
and we require asylum...
143
00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:03,251
you know, 'cause this is American soil?
144
00:07:03,286 --> 00:07:05,120
I grew up in a pile of straw.
145
00:07:05,155 --> 00:07:06,321
The only education I have
146
00:07:06,356 --> 00:07:09,591
is one week of Burger King
training, and even I know
147
00:07:09,626 --> 00:07:11,760
that's not how the international
justice system works.
148
00:07:12,896 --> 00:07:15,997
But would you like to try
our new berry good milkshake?
149
00:07:25,342 --> 00:07:27,342
Well, we had some close calls,
150
00:07:27,377 --> 00:07:29,677
but we got the king's inhaler.
151
00:07:29,713 --> 00:07:31,312
And we got what...
I'll say it.
152
00:07:31,348 --> 00:07:32,847
We got what is hands-down
153
00:07:32,883 --> 00:07:34,916
the best milkshake
in the fast-food game.
154
00:07:35,952 --> 00:07:37,619
Hey, B.K.,
155
00:07:37,654 --> 00:07:40,155
how about a little love
coming the other way?
156
00:07:40,190 --> 00:07:43,258
Bullock will have no choice
but to use us for every mission
157
00:07:43,293 --> 00:07:44,793
after he sees what we did.
158
00:07:44,828 --> 00:07:46,261
Hey, check it out!
159
00:07:46,296 --> 00:07:48,897
There's some sort of event
going on at our hotel.
160
00:07:48,932 --> 00:07:50,765
Maybe it's a wedding.
161
00:07:50,801 --> 00:07:54,068
Those are cop cars.
Must be a police wedding.
162
00:07:54,104 --> 00:07:56,838
Good thing we've got these
uniforms. We'll blend right in.
163
00:07:56,873 --> 00:08:00,375
Guys, take your guns out
so we're not conspicuous.
164
00:08:02,746 --> 00:08:04,212
You guys are doing great.
165
00:08:04,247 --> 00:08:06,281
I think maybe
we should cock our guns, too.
166
00:08:10,455 --> 00:08:11,955
Hooper, you here?
167
00:08:11,990 --> 00:08:13,890
Yeah, I'm here.
What about Jackson?
168
00:08:13,925 --> 00:08:15,892
I'm here.
Thank God. We're all safe.
169
00:08:15,927 --> 00:08:17,427
Um, I'm here, too.
170
00:08:17,462 --> 00:08:19,429
Oh, right. Dick.
We were with Dick.
171
00:08:19,464 --> 00:08:21,464
Guys, don't say anything bad
about Dick. He's here.
172
00:08:21,466 --> 00:08:22,532
Quiet!
173
00:08:25,437 --> 00:08:27,871
Hello, losers.
174
00:08:27,906 --> 00:08:29,939
Sorry for calling you losers.
175
00:08:29,975 --> 00:08:32,075
Psych! I'm not sorry!
176
00:08:32,110 --> 00:08:34,944
The torture begins!
177
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:36,846
Now, you are clearly in Thailand
178
00:08:36,882 --> 00:08:39,149
for something more
than our king's inhaler.
179
00:08:39,184 --> 00:08:41,418
Nobody would be that stupid.
180
00:08:41,453 --> 00:08:44,020
So, tell me...
who are you and what's...
181
00:08:44,055 --> 00:08:45,922
you know, your deal?
182
00:08:45,957 --> 00:08:48,191
We're, uh...
we're filmmakers!
183
00:08:48,226 --> 00:08:49,826
Yeah, yeah, we're a film crew
184
00:08:49,861 --> 00:08:52,028
scouting locations
for a major Hollywood movie!
185
00:08:52,063 --> 00:08:53,763
He's pulling an "Argo."
186
00:08:53,799 --> 00:08:55,899
Shh, I haven't seen it yet!
187
00:08:55,934 --> 00:08:58,902
Well, if you are really making a movie,
188
00:08:58,937 --> 00:09:01,171
then I know from the movie "Argo"
189
00:09:01,206 --> 00:09:04,174
that there will be a production office.
190
00:09:04,209 --> 00:09:06,309
So...
191
00:09:06,344 --> 00:09:08,378
what's the number?
192
00:09:08,413 --> 00:09:10,079
Thank you for calling Burger King.
193
00:09:10,115 --> 00:09:12,182
Would you like to try
our berry good milkshake?
194
00:09:12,217 --> 00:09:13,450
Liars!
195
00:09:13,485 --> 00:09:15,185
Really? Burger King?
196
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:18,054
That was your one chance
to tell the truth the easy way.
197
00:09:18,089 --> 00:09:20,089
Prepare the interrogation rooms!
198
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:22,525
What do you mean?
Like, prepare how?
199
00:09:22,561 --> 00:09:26,129
Turn off the "One Direction"
movie and clear everyone out!
200
00:09:26,164 --> 00:09:28,131
Turn it off or pause it?
201
00:09:28,166 --> 00:09:31,367
It isn't paused?
You guys kept going?!
202
00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:34,838
Great. Trapped in
a super-futuristic Thai prison.
203
00:09:34,873 --> 00:09:36,406
This is all your guys' fault.
204
00:09:36,441 --> 00:09:38,875
What did we do?
Well, why don't we start with Dick,
205
00:09:38,910 --> 00:09:40,276
who's so bad at technology,
206
00:09:40,312 --> 00:09:41,911
he can't even take a photo
with a phone.
207
00:09:41,947 --> 00:09:44,414
And, Jackson, instead of
getting us out of town,
208
00:09:44,449 --> 00:09:47,250
you led us straight into
the most congested part of it.
209
00:09:47,285 --> 00:09:50,386
And you... taking us to Burger
King for political asylum?
210
00:09:50,422 --> 00:09:52,856
You say that
like I took us to Del Taco.
211
00:09:52,891 --> 00:09:56,826
Okay, dumb idiots.
Interrogation time.
212
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:59,095
Now, one of you has to stay behind
213
00:09:59,130 --> 00:10:01,564
because I only have
three torture cells.
214
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,299
Technically, we have four,
215
00:10:03,335 --> 00:10:05,435
but we converted one into a...
a hang-out room.
216
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,350
Sort of a chill zone
for the guards to unwind...
217
00:10:07,372 --> 00:10:08,872
you know what?
It's not important.
218
00:10:08,907 --> 00:10:11,274
You three, come with me.
219
00:10:11,309 --> 00:10:12,442
Nobody talk!
220
00:10:12,477 --> 00:10:14,277
If they start zapping your testicles,
221
00:10:14,312 --> 00:10:16,279
just try to fall asleep!
222
00:10:16,314 --> 00:10:18,014
This is incredible.
223
00:10:18,049 --> 00:10:20,850
Hours of action,
and still too close to call!
224
00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:24,387
If you're a slow-mo racing fan,
this is as good as it gets!
225
00:10:24,422 --> 00:10:27,490
Sorry, everyone, but
it's time for me to pull behind.
226
00:10:29,928 --> 00:10:31,561
Hey, w-whoa,
what are you doing?
227
00:10:31,596 --> 00:10:33,563
Tripping you so you fall forward!
228
00:10:33,598 --> 00:10:35,431
Wait for it.
It's gonna take a while.
229
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:42,438
N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o...
230
00:10:46,444 --> 00:10:48,278
Are you guys okay?
231
00:10:48,313 --> 00:10:50,880
You were gone
for 20 hash marks of time!
232
00:10:50,916 --> 00:10:54,284
Stan, you have
such a good head of hair.
233
00:10:54,319 --> 00:10:56,319
What?
What's wrong with you guys?
234
00:10:56,354 --> 00:10:59,923
They drugged us, bro, with truth serum.
235
00:10:59,958 --> 00:11:01,925
Oh, no. Tell me
you guys didn't break!
236
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,359
You talked, didn't you?
237
00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:06,963
I did, Stan! I talked, I sang,
I acted some of it out!
238
00:11:06,998 --> 00:11:10,967
The missile... the inhaler...
and the C.I.A.
239
00:11:11,002 --> 00:11:13,970
That one was hard to act out,
but the little guy, he got it!
240
00:11:14,005 --> 00:11:17,473
Man, he got it. He's...
he's amazing at charades.
241
00:11:17,509 --> 00:11:18,942
I talked, too!
242
00:11:18,977 --> 00:11:21,210
We all did!
I hope you're happy.
243
00:11:21,246 --> 00:11:23,212
They're gonna kill us,
and it's all your fault!
244
00:11:23,248 --> 00:11:24,614
It is my fault,
245
00:11:24,649 --> 00:11:26,616
because I didn't
figure out an escape route
246
00:11:26,651 --> 00:11:28,351
like I was supposed to.
247
00:11:28,386 --> 00:11:32,355
I was too busy...
cruisin' the Red-Light District.
248
00:11:32,390 --> 00:11:34,490
No, it's my fault.
249
00:11:34,526 --> 00:11:36,492
Instead of looking
for actual safe houses,
250
00:11:36,528 --> 00:11:38,328
I spent the day
bird-watching.
251
00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:42,599
No, it was me!
I can't even make my phone work.
252
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:45,201
Remember when my wife and kid left me?
253
00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:47,937
They told me it was
because I was horrible to them,
254
00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:50,607
but I know it was because
I'm bad at computers.
255
00:11:50,642 --> 00:11:52,942
You know how
I was estranged from my father?
256
00:11:52,978 --> 00:11:55,211
Well, after he died,
I found his journal.
257
00:11:55,246 --> 00:11:57,080
Apparently, he was a big bird watcher,
258
00:11:57,115 --> 00:11:59,082
and the only bird he never spotted
259
00:11:59,117 --> 00:12:01,951
was Thailand's
purple-breasted Phuket Finch.
260
00:12:01,987 --> 00:12:03,620
So instead of safe houses,
261
00:12:03,655 --> 00:12:06,222
I looked for my dad's missing bird.
262
00:12:06,257 --> 00:12:09,959
And, in a bigger way,
I guess I went looking...
263
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:11,461
for him.
264
00:12:11,496 --> 00:12:13,963
I think the reason
I was in the Red-Light District
265
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:16,232
was because, deep down...
266
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:19,235
I just really like
giving it to transsexuals.
267
00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:22,238
No wonder Bullock
sent a drone to do our jobs.
268
00:12:22,273 --> 00:12:23,973
He knew you'd screw it up!
269
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,509
He's right.
Machines are better than us.
270
00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:29,112
Stan...
271
00:12:29,147 --> 00:12:32,715
it's your sexy wife, come to save you!
272
00:12:32,751 --> 00:12:35,685
Only kidding!
Torture time!
273
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:41,024
...o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!
274
00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:44,661
Kiss the wall, ladies.
You're out of the game.
275
00:12:46,164 --> 00:12:47,664
Oh, man!
276
00:12:47,699 --> 00:12:49,399
You look away for just 10 minutes,
277
00:12:49,434 --> 00:12:52,001
and you miss the most exciting moment.
278
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:54,671
Well, that's slow-motion racing
for you.
279
00:13:04,449 --> 00:13:06,783
Do whatever you want to me.
I'll never talk.
280
00:13:06,818 --> 00:13:08,351
I don't need you to talk.
281
00:13:08,386 --> 00:13:10,687
Your friends already gave me
everything I need
282
00:13:10,722 --> 00:13:12,155
to execute you all.
283
00:13:12,190 --> 00:13:13,710
Then just kill us and get it over with!
284
00:13:13,725 --> 00:13:17,427
And end our fun so soon?
But why would I do that...
285
00:13:17,462 --> 00:13:19,162
when I've got this?!
286
00:13:19,197 --> 00:13:22,065
Oh, God.
How did you get that?
287
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:24,300
You dropped it in the king's chamber!
288
00:13:26,204 --> 00:13:28,171
Ow! What's that?
289
00:13:28,206 --> 00:13:30,506
That's truth serum.
290
00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:32,075
But you already know everything!
291
00:13:32,110 --> 00:13:33,242
Your friends don't!
292
00:13:33,278 --> 00:13:35,078
The truth serum will force you
293
00:13:35,113 --> 00:13:37,346
to tell them
it's your fault they got caught,
294
00:13:37,382 --> 00:13:38,715
and it's your fault
295
00:13:38,750 --> 00:13:42,185
their bodies are going to be
ripped apart by yaks!
296
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:43,619
I won't!
I won't tell them!
297
00:13:43,655 --> 00:13:47,223
Do you want to know
the names of the yaks?
298
00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:50,359
Yak Cousteau, Yackie O.,
Yackie Chan,
299
00:13:50,395 --> 00:13:52,495
and yackity yak don't talk yak.
300
00:13:52,530 --> 00:13:55,331
Do you like the names
I came up with for my yaks?
301
00:13:55,366 --> 00:13:57,600
You've been trained for this, Stan.
302
00:13:57,635 --> 00:13:59,335
Fight the serum.
303
00:14:00,772 --> 00:14:02,238
Oh, God.
304
00:14:02,273 --> 00:14:04,340
They're the best yak names
I've ever heard!
305
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,375
He's ready.
306
00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:15,721
Your friend here has something
he wants to share with you.
307
00:14:15,756 --> 00:14:17,055
You maniac!
308
00:14:17,091 --> 00:14:18,590
"Mani-yak"...
309
00:14:18,626 --> 00:14:21,059
That's a good name for a yak.
310
00:14:21,095 --> 00:14:25,063
We must buy another yak.
To the yak dealership!
311
00:14:25,099 --> 00:14:28,300
Stan, what was that precious
half-man talking about?
312
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:30,168
It's...
313
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,070
it's my fault we got caught.
314
00:14:32,106 --> 00:14:33,138
What is that?
315
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,406
You know how I've always said
316
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:36,208
Bullock determines the rooming list?
317
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:37,709
He doesn't. I do.
318
00:14:37,745 --> 00:14:39,545
I have a point system
where I reward you
319
00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:42,047
whenever you're nice to me or
say something thought-provoking.
320
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:43,415
And the winner gets to room with me,
321
00:14:43,450 --> 00:14:45,051
and I make sure
Dick never rooms with me.
322
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,718
And I wrote it on this sheet of paper,
323
00:14:46,754 --> 00:14:48,320
along with our hotel info,
324
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,455
which fell out of my pocket
in the king's room.
325
00:14:50,491 --> 00:14:53,191
And that's why they were
waiting for us at the hotel.
326
00:14:53,227 --> 00:14:54,459
You bastard!
327
00:14:54,495 --> 00:14:55,761
There's more.
328
00:14:55,796 --> 00:14:57,696
Dick, you should know that there is no
329
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:00,332
C.I.A. nightbear
that takes human poops.
330
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:03,101
That's been us taking dumps
in your desk all the time.
331
00:15:03,137 --> 00:15:04,770
I know.
332
00:15:04,805 --> 00:15:06,238
I just didn't say anything,
333
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,506
'cause I liked that you cared enough
334
00:15:07,541 --> 00:15:09,474
to keep doing it for that many years.
335
00:15:09,510 --> 00:15:11,476
But the real truth is,
336
00:15:11,512 --> 00:15:14,212
we shouldn't even have been
in a position to get caught.
337
00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:18,216
Seeing that drone fly past us,
it was like seeing the future...
338
00:15:18,252 --> 00:15:20,619
a future we're not part of.
339
00:15:20,654 --> 00:15:25,757
We're old and obsolete,
and we're gonna die here.
340
00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:30,796
Oh, my God.
341
00:15:30,831 --> 00:15:33,231
That's the purple-breasted
Phuket Finch!
342
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,267
It's a sign we shouldn't give up!
343
00:15:38,572 --> 00:15:40,539
Guys, this might sound crazy,
344
00:15:40,574 --> 00:15:43,308
but I think this bird
might actually be my dead dad.
345
00:15:43,344 --> 00:15:45,310
I see that.
For sure.
346
00:15:45,346 --> 00:15:46,666
I really wish I could lie to you,
347
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,548
but I definitely don't think
that's your dad.
348
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:55,187
All right, guys, let's get out
of here old-school style...
349
00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:58,390
create a distraction, and
get the guards to open the door.
350
00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,691
I suggest a fake fight.
351
00:15:59,727 --> 00:16:01,560
Is anyone willing
to get punched in the...
352
00:16:03,497 --> 00:16:06,865
Whoa, guys,
I-I didn't volunteer!
353
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:09,668
I thought it was gonna be Dick!
Why are you hitting me?
354
00:16:09,703 --> 00:16:11,303
Because you put us in here!
355
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:12,738
Because you blamed us!
356
00:16:12,773 --> 00:16:15,707
Because I can't punch loneliness!
357
00:16:18,879 --> 00:16:20,445
It worked!
Grab 'em!
358
00:16:28,589 --> 00:16:31,423
Ha! Suckers.
The joke's on you.
359
00:16:33,494 --> 00:16:34,860
What do we do with the guards?
360
00:16:34,895 --> 00:16:36,461
I'll strip them and tie them up!
361
00:16:36,497 --> 00:16:37,863
Wait, why strip them?
362
00:16:37,898 --> 00:16:40,465
Why do anything, Stan?
363
00:16:42,403 --> 00:16:44,636
All right, let's use our heads.
Which way?
364
00:16:44,672 --> 00:16:47,239
Look! My dad is showing us the way!
365
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:48,306
Left it is.
366
00:16:50,244 --> 00:16:51,476
Nope. Nope.
Other way.
367
00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:52,878
Daddy!
368
00:17:01,221 --> 00:17:05,323
♪ Just take those old records
off the shelf ♪
369
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:09,194
♪ I'll sit and listen to 'em
by myself ♪
370
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:11,730
♪ today's music
ain't got the same... ♪
371
00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:15,534
I may have underestimated
these dum-dums.
372
00:17:15,569 --> 00:17:17,936
But their escape will end now.
373
00:17:17,971 --> 00:17:19,938
The new yak is here!
374
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:22,374
I probably need to sign for him!
375
00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,745
This prison is a maze!
376
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,213
Look. A map.
377
00:17:28,248 --> 00:17:30,248
This map is too confusing!
378
00:17:30,284 --> 00:17:32,250
It's just too confusing!
379
00:17:32,286 --> 00:17:35,654
No.
It's beautiful.
380
00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:37,656
Huh?
This prison...
381
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:40,792
it's laid out just like a transvestite!
382
00:17:43,731 --> 00:17:47,299
We just need to follow
the taint to freedom!
383
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,735
Man, ain't that the truth.
384
00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,239
What an amazing race!
385
00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,907
Is there anywhere you'd rather be
386
00:17:55,943 --> 00:17:59,544
than right here, right now
for the last 36 hours?!
387
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,680
Look at us, Steve...
neck and neck.
388
00:18:01,715 --> 00:18:03,415
May the best man win.
389
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,783
Well, that's gonna be me,
390
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:07,419
because your weird gut's
about to hit the wall.
391
00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:09,421
Not if your boner hits it first.
392
00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,956
What?
I don't have a boner.
393
00:18:10,991 --> 00:18:12,424
You're about to.
394
00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,426
How?
What are you gonna do?
395
00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:16,428
I don't have to do anything.
396
00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:19,431
You're a teenage boy
who just heard the word boner.
397
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:20,966
It's already happening.
398
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:23,835
No! Not now!
Not like this!
399
00:18:23,871 --> 00:18:26,705
Oh, God!
Not like this!
400
00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:30,442
Ah! Damn it!
401
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:31,977
Yes! I won!
402
00:18:32,012 --> 00:18:34,713
You did, Roger, but, in a way...
403
00:18:34,748 --> 00:18:36,715
I feel like we all won.
404
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:38,717
What? Wait, what?
405
00:18:38,752 --> 00:18:41,319
Because it brought us
all closer together.
406
00:18:41,355 --> 00:18:42,921
You're right.
407
00:18:42,956 --> 00:18:46,925
I thought I was in a race,
but really I was in a family.
408
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:49,928
Okay, I see what's happening here.
409
00:18:49,963 --> 00:18:52,664
Yeah, you're trying to screw me
out of my victory!
410
00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:55,333
We all heard his dick hit the wall!
411
00:18:55,369 --> 00:18:58,837
This is it.
This room is the taint.
412
00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:01,306
Or "nacho," depending on
where you grew up.
413
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,441
The exit should be
at the other side of that door.
414
00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:04,843
But the door can only be opened
415
00:19:04,878 --> 00:19:06,578
using a password-protected
computer.
416
00:19:06,613 --> 00:19:08,480
There's no way for us to get through.
417
00:19:08,515 --> 00:19:10,849
Yes, there is.
You're up, Dick.
418
00:19:10,884 --> 00:19:12,317
It's a computer, Stan.
419
00:19:12,352 --> 00:19:13,752
Dick doesn't know how to use those.
420
00:19:13,754 --> 00:19:16,855
Yeah, what is that thing,
a commodore 64 million?
421
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:21,493
Just sit down at that computer
and follow your heart.
422
00:19:24,031 --> 00:19:25,597
Okay. Let's see.
423
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:28,333
"Safari."
That sounds exciting.
424
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,868
Ooh, I could use some adult friends!
425
00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,469
Oh, no, Dick, wait!
426
00:19:31,505 --> 00:19:32,604
No, let him go.
427
00:19:34,041 --> 00:19:35,473
Punch the monkey?
428
00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:37,876
Whoa, first try!
429
00:19:37,911 --> 00:19:43,381
Guys, a diplomat just sent me
an investment opportunity!
430
00:19:44,418 --> 00:19:45,984
Hurry up, Dick.
Hurry!
431
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:49,354
Why is this lady in a bathtub
contacting me on Facebook?
432
00:19:51,925 --> 00:19:54,626
Sorry, guys.
I crashed the computer.
433
00:19:56,396 --> 00:19:58,496
I knew you could do it, buddy!
434
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:03,568
So, this is where I work.
435
00:20:03,604 --> 00:20:07,372
Oh, no!
My dum-dums go bye-bye!
436
00:20:14,506 --> 00:20:17,582
Boys, never forget what
got us out of that prison...
437
00:20:17,618 --> 00:20:21,453
human error triumphing over machines.
438
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,588
You know, it would be a damn shame
439
00:20:23,624 --> 00:20:26,558
to go home without that inhaler.
440
00:20:29,830 --> 00:20:32,097
Welcome back, dum-dums!
441
00:20:37,037 --> 00:20:40,171
You're never gonna break through
that wall with a spoon, Dick.
442
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:45,877
Ha!
443
00:20:45,913 --> 00:20:48,813
Did anyone order an awesome rescue?
444
00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:50,882
Bullock, what happened to you?
445
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:53,818
Something that should have
happened a long time ago.
446
00:20:53,854 --> 00:20:57,922
Now climb aboard.
Let's get the hell out of here!
447
00:20:58,350 --> 00:21:00,826
Anyone know the way
to the Red-Light District?
448
00:21:01,426 --> 00:21:06,501
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