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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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Thanks for helping me
with spring cleaning, Malloy.
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This is a weird comic book.
"Klan Man?"
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Oh, Klan Man.
Across the air, across the sea,
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and a cross on your lawn.
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Oh, you should've seen Lynch lady.
Ooh, she was a real piece of ass.
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Whoa. Look at all this
cool stuff you can buy.
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X-ray glasses, spy pens, sea monkeys,
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and a real rocket ship
for only two bucks?
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Oh, Malloy.
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It's all Novelty Bullshit
to trick little kids.
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None of that crap ever worked.
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This is America.
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They couldn't advertise
something if it wasn't true.
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Novelty Bullshit.
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Lou, we got an order!
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3x08 - Steve the Fearless Pilot
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
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Morning, rangers. For
today's bonding exercise,
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I want each of you to
finish this sentence...
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- Connie is so ugly...
- Her mirror went blind!
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00:01:02,964 --> 00:01:05,698
Lena Dunham thinks
she looks gross naked.
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My dildo went limp.
I hate these exercises.
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It's called "team building," Connie.
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As you know, this weekend
Brickleberry is hosting
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a regatta for super-rich yacht owners.
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It's my chance to suck
golden b-hole for a few days
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and get invited to their fancy villas.
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Your job is to make
sure these rich people
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don't see any disgusting
poor people in the park.
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- How do we get rid of the poor people?
- God used Katrina.
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There's too many poor
people in this park to hide.
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They tube down the river every weekend.
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That's why you and Connie are
gonna dam it up with these.
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Got 'em for a steal
on Libyan Storage Wars.
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I don't know, Woody.
Those look radioactive.
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But if it wasn't for radiation,
you'd still be Bruce Banner.
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Steve, Ethel, take the helicopter
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00:01:48,243 --> 00:01:50,610
and remove all the white-trash
trailers from the park.
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00:01:50,612 --> 00:01:52,111
I can't go in the helicopter!
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00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:55,948
- What?! Why the hell not?!
- It's scary.
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Scarier than this?
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I can kill a man in seven
different ways with this finger.
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Okay! I'll go in the chopper!
Just don't finger me!
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00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:07,487
I loved that episode of Airwolf.
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So how exactly is a helicopter
going to get the trailers out?
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Woody bought this giant
Wile E. Coyote magnet.
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Here you go. Oh, try not to
faint when we're airborne.
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00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:19,472
You want me to fly this thing?
Why can't you?
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00:02:19,474 --> 00:02:22,308
Two reasons... one, I lost
my license for flying drunk,
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and, two, I'm drunk.
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- I can't!
- What a pussy.
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00:02:33,655 --> 00:02:36,756
There's no way I can fly again
after what happened last time.
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00:02:36,758 --> 00:02:38,558
Mayday! Mayday!
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I don't want to die!
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00:02:41,830 --> 00:02:44,130
Did you just throw
up in there, mister?
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No, I didn't just throw up.
I also shit myself.
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Ugh. Why ain't we moving?
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So last night when my girl
said she wanted to slip into
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something more comfortable, I
didn't know she meant a coma.
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Hey, what's wrong with you?
That's funny.
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I mean, it's sad, too, 'cause she died.
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00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:05,468
I'm sick of being called ugly,
Denzel. There's only so much
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00:03:05,469 --> 00:03:08,821
a girl can take. One day I'm
gonna snap, and when I do...
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Calm down.
At least I appreciate you.
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- Really?
- Sure. Ugly people like you exist
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to make people appreciate
handsome people like me.
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00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:19,499
I've had enough of this!
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- What are you doing?
- I was saving your life.
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Next time let me die!
Where the hell are we?
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Looks like a deserted island.
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Damn, it's just like my dream,
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only you ain't Cloris Leachman
with a hot wing for a clitoris.
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I'm scared, Denzel.
What if no one ever finds us here?
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I'll die a virgin! Unless...
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Yeah, I'm gonna be real
sad at your virgin funeral.
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Hey, what the hell
you doing to my house?
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Woody wants all you poor people gone,
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so I was trying to tow your trailer.
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This is a mobile home.
It ain't designed to be moved.
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00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:09,715
Wouldn't a helicopter and a Wile
E. Coyote magnet work better?
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Yes. Yes, it would,
but I'm too afraid to fly.
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00:04:13,054 --> 00:04:15,721
You know, me and Bobby used
to have anxiety issues too.
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00:04:15,723 --> 00:04:17,089
Really?
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00:04:17,091 --> 00:04:18,824
Yep. I had claustrophobia, agoraphobia,
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00:04:18,826 --> 00:04:22,161
- and a constant fear of mortality.
- And I used to [bleep] goats.
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00:04:22,163 --> 00:04:24,397
Then we saw a hypnotist
in Chinatown who cured us.
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Now I'm a well-adjusted,
perfectly normal sheep [bleep]er.
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00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:31,537
That's my favorite Randy Travis song.
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Yes, me Mr. Chen.
What I do for you?
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I want you to hypnotize me.
Also, I have a stain I can't get out.
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How you get this much
"chocorate" on your pants?
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Helicopter accident.
That's why I'm here.
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I need you to make me a fearless pilot.
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00:04:47,188 --> 00:04:50,356
Okay. I give you two for one...
pants and trance combo.
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00:04:50,358 --> 00:04:52,558
To be honest, I doubt
a strong mind like this
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00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:54,894
can even be hypnoti...
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00:04:54,896 --> 00:04:57,897
This ancient Chinese symbol of courage.
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00:04:57,899 --> 00:05:00,933
As "rong" as you wear
it around your neck,
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00:05:00,935 --> 00:05:03,936
you will be a brave "pirot,"
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00:05:03,938 --> 00:05:06,772
a "fearress pirot"!
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00:05:07,976 --> 00:05:14,113
- Argh! I'm a fearless pirate!
- No! Not pirate! "Pirot"!
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Denzel, just so you know,
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if you die suddenly,
I'm going to eat you.
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Oh, my god!
Connie, look at this!
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00:05:23,891 --> 00:05:26,125
Please be a fatburger.
Please be a fatburger.
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00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:27,727
Oh, my...
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- Hello, ladies.
- What a magnificent creature.
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It is nice, isn't it?
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Not you, rat face!
The red-haired goddess.
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You blind, right?
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00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:43,776
Welcome to Lesbo Island,
beautiful one.
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How can we serve you?
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00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:48,447
This can't be real.
I must be dreaming.
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00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,583
Somebody pinch me.
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00:05:50,585 --> 00:05:51,951
When I said "pinch,"
I meant finger-blast
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00:05:51,953 --> 00:05:54,654
till I squirt all over your breasts.
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00:05:54,956 --> 00:05:56,789
Oh, the escort service cut me off
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00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:59,358
'cause they claim I'm
a "dead-eyed weirdo."
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Whatever that means.
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00:06:02,864 --> 00:06:05,598
So you're gonna be my date to
the welcoming party tomorrow.
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00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,033
I want you to wear your sluttiest dress
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00:06:07,035 --> 00:06:09,869
- and act like you want to bone me.
- Ew, gross.
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Would you rather
have to eat cat food?
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'Cause you'll be unemployed!
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Avast, ye scoundrel.
Unhand that lass!
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00:06:16,978 --> 00:06:19,311
What the [bleep]?
Is it gay pride day already?
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00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:22,982
- Steve?
- Captain Steve, me buxom beauty...
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00:06:22,984 --> 00:06:25,685
the bravest pirate
in all the seven seas!
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00:06:25,687 --> 00:06:28,387
- Oh, cut the shit, Steve.
- Take heed, commander...
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00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:30,990
For me intention be to plunder yer land,
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00:06:30,992 --> 00:06:33,993
looking for booty of the flesh or coin.
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00:06:33,995 --> 00:06:36,662
- Oh, my.
- I mean it, Steve!
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00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:39,999
I don't have time for this
happy horseshit! Stop it!
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00:06:40,001 --> 00:06:43,035
Watch ye mouth, landlubber,
or pay with ye life!
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00:06:43,037 --> 00:06:46,405
Don't make me pull out the kill finger!
137
00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:49,308
My kill finger... you killed it!
138
00:06:49,310 --> 00:06:51,911
Damn it!
Slippery piece of... gah! Gah!
139
00:06:51,913 --> 00:06:54,547
I'll be back for a better look later.
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00:06:54,549 --> 00:06:57,316
I'm wetter than Rebel Wilson
at an airport cinnabon.
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00:06:57,318 --> 00:06:59,151
Where is it? Where is it?
142
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:01,487
Shit, why are there so many
severed fingers under my desk?
143
00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:03,856
Mark me words... ye will rue the day
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00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:05,991
ye crossed swords with Captain Steve!
145
00:07:05,993 --> 00:07:10,029
- This be war.
- Stop talking in ebonics!
146
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:12,765
Ooh, I'm gonna get you for this, Steve!
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00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:13,833
God damn it!
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00:07:19,762 --> 00:07:21,629
These x-ray glasses work!
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00:07:21,631 --> 00:07:23,264
No, they don't. I'm naked.
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00:07:23,266 --> 00:07:25,900
Where the hell are Denzel and Connie?
They should be here.
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00:07:25,902 --> 00:07:27,468
Connie's coming?
152
00:07:27,470 --> 00:07:30,304
- Not worth the risk.
- And that goddamn Steve...
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00:07:30,306 --> 00:07:32,774
good thing he didn't
get my favorite finger.
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00:07:32,776 --> 00:07:34,609
Jesus Christ! What the
[bleep] is his problem?
155
00:07:34,611 --> 00:07:36,277
He thinks he's a pirate
156
00:07:36,279 --> 00:07:38,246
'cause he went to Bobby
Possumcods' hypnotist.
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00:07:38,248 --> 00:07:40,649
Well, I got to find this
hypnotist and get him to
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00:07:40,650 --> 00:07:43,050
snap Steve out of it before
he screws up my regatta.
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00:07:43,052 --> 00:07:44,452
The guy's somewhere in Chinatown.
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00:07:44,454 --> 00:07:47,889
- What's his name?
- I don't know. But I'll draw you a picture.
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00:07:49,079 --> 00:07:50,558
Hey, this you?
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00:07:52,427 --> 00:07:55,329
You must be worshipped
where you come from.
163
00:07:55,331 --> 00:07:59,333
You're beautiful from
head to toe to camel toe.
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00:07:59,335 --> 00:08:01,669
Thanks. I can pick
up a pencil with it.
165
00:08:01,671 --> 00:08:03,571
- Want to see?
- Nope, that's okay!
166
00:08:03,573 --> 00:08:06,841
Shut up, ugly man!
You're not welcome here.
167
00:08:06,843 --> 00:08:10,745
Beautiful one, I know we're
all so plain next to you,
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00:08:10,747 --> 00:08:13,314
but do any of us appeal to you...
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00:08:13,316 --> 00:08:15,650
- sexually?
- Are you kidding me?
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00:08:15,652 --> 00:08:17,418
I'd give my left lip to do any of you!
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00:08:17,420 --> 00:08:18,419
- Pick me!
- No, me!
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00:08:18,421 --> 00:08:19,754
No, me!
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00:08:19,756 --> 00:08:22,523
I can lick the bark off a tree!
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00:08:22,525 --> 00:08:24,826
Stop! To keep the peace,
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00:08:24,828 --> 00:08:27,495
she will choose just
one of us to sleep with.
176
00:08:27,497 --> 00:08:29,463
Hey, Connie, I think
my cell phone's working!
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00:08:29,465 --> 00:08:31,933
Ooh, let me see it.
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00:08:31,935 --> 00:08:33,367
Oops.
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00:08:35,103 --> 00:08:36,604
I had to hire security guards
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00:08:36,606 --> 00:08:38,806
to keep Captain Asshole
Steve out of here.
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00:08:38,808 --> 00:08:40,675
Well, I think he's charming.
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00:08:40,677 --> 00:08:43,544
Plus, it was pretty hilarious
when he cut off your fingers,
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00:08:43,546 --> 00:08:46,047
which aren't looking so good.
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00:08:46,049 --> 00:08:48,216
These are my fingers, Ethel,
and I'm not giving up on them!
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00:08:48,218 --> 00:08:50,260
They are gonna take root!
186
00:08:51,553 --> 00:08:54,188
As head of the yachting
association, I have to say,
187
00:08:54,190 --> 00:08:56,824
if the regatta comes out
nearly as well as this party,
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00:08:56,826 --> 00:08:59,026
I want you to join us
next year in Australia.
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00:08:59,028 --> 00:09:00,895
Great. I can't wait
to try one of those...
190
00:09:00,897 --> 00:09:02,396
bloomin' onions.
191
00:09:02,398 --> 00:09:05,233
Splendid. And who is
this lovely creature?
192
00:09:05,235 --> 00:09:07,535
Oh, my date.
She wants to bone me.
193
00:09:07,537 --> 00:09:10,838
Yeah. Dead-eyed fatties
turn me on so hard.
194
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,007
- See? I told you.
- Well, if she were my date,
195
00:09:13,009 --> 00:09:14,876
I couldn't keep my hands off her.
196
00:09:14,878 --> 00:09:16,244
Oh, yeah? Well, go ahead.
197
00:09:16,246 --> 00:09:18,045
Give them sweater stretchers a squeeze.
198
00:09:18,047 --> 00:09:20,181
- She don't care.
- I do care!
199
00:09:20,183 --> 00:09:21,916
Well, as long as she doesn't care...
200
00:09:21,918 --> 00:09:24,151
Hands off her, ye mangy bilge rat!
201
00:09:24,153 --> 00:09:26,220
God damn it, it's Pirate Steve!
202
00:09:26,222 --> 00:09:28,422
- Are ye okay, lass?
- I am now.
203
00:09:28,424 --> 00:09:30,758
This pirate is a cockblocker.
204
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,828
A lady is to be pleased,
not squeezed, sir.
205
00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:36,264
The cost of that lesson
be yer gold piece.
206
00:09:36,266 --> 00:09:39,400
Till we meet again.
Mwah.
207
00:09:39,402 --> 00:09:41,002
Hiya! Hee-ha!
Hee-ha!
208
00:09:41,004 --> 00:09:43,838
Hiya! Hee-ha!
Hee-ha! Hiya! Hee!
209
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:46,206
How the hell does he do that?
210
00:09:47,042 --> 00:09:49,577
Hear this, me hearties!
I need a crew.
211
00:09:49,579 --> 00:09:52,346
The tyrant Woody and his
scourge of entitled imperialists
212
00:09:52,348 --> 00:09:55,116
are endeavoring to rid
this fair land of its poor,
213
00:09:55,118 --> 00:09:58,920
so it be our duty to rid
them of their fineries!
214
00:09:58,922 --> 00:10:01,022
- What'd he say?
- He said we must prey
215
00:10:01,024 --> 00:10:03,057
upon the golden galleons
of the oppressor, Bobby.
216
00:10:03,059 --> 00:10:06,193
Oh, okay. Do we get to rape?
217
00:10:06,195 --> 00:10:08,529
Alas, pirates don't rape anymore.
218
00:10:08,531 --> 00:10:10,197
- Aw.
- Oh, man.
219
00:10:10,199 --> 00:10:12,400
Except for the last
Pirates of the Caribbean,
220
00:10:12,402 --> 00:10:15,536
which raped the eyes of the audience.
221
00:10:15,538 --> 00:10:17,471
Well, at least we get to pillage!
222
00:10:17,473 --> 00:10:19,106
Aye. Are ye with me?
223
00:10:19,108 --> 00:10:20,975
- Yeah!
- Hell, yeah!
224
00:10:20,977 --> 00:10:24,211
Hobo Larry raped
a warm can of beans once.
225
00:10:24,213 --> 00:10:27,521
Yep, I was porkin' beans.
226
00:10:30,452 --> 00:10:33,587
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Pirates, yeah!
227
00:10:38,561 --> 00:10:40,127
Jim, you goddamn son of a bitch!
228
00:10:40,129 --> 00:10:41,996
Where are you mother[bleep] taking me?
229
00:10:41,998 --> 00:10:44,298
Jim!
230
00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:56,944
- For ye, me lovely.
- Oh, Captain Steve, it's beautiful.
231
00:10:56,946 --> 00:11:01,248
- Hey, that's my diamond necklace!
- Ye son of a bitch!
232
00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:03,184
If anyone asks who just robbed ye,
233
00:11:03,186 --> 00:11:05,586
tell 'em Captain Steve.
234
00:11:05,588 --> 00:11:08,122
And don't take it personal
that we didn't rape y'all.
235
00:11:08,124 --> 00:11:09,824
We're trying to cut back.
236
00:11:11,259 --> 00:11:12,994
You're amazing!
237
00:11:12,996 --> 00:11:17,198
Wait. Hmm.
Only a one-inch thigh gap.
238
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:20,267
- Next!
- Damn, Connie, why you being so picky?
239
00:11:20,269 --> 00:11:22,203
I only have one hymen, Denzel.
240
00:11:22,205 --> 00:11:23,704
Well, we're running out of girls,
241
00:11:23,706 --> 00:11:25,673
so you better hurry
up and choose a cooz.
242
00:11:25,675 --> 00:11:28,542
Don't worry. I'll know when
the right one comes along.
243
00:11:28,544 --> 00:11:31,312
All right. Next we have Alexa.
244
00:11:37,954 --> 00:11:39,854
Connie, are you okay?
245
00:11:41,224 --> 00:11:43,257
Lift your loincloth, please.
246
00:11:44,459 --> 00:11:48,896
It's perfect.
Like a rose made of prosciutto.
247
00:11:50,132 --> 00:11:53,101
Malloy, those rich pole
smokers are crawling up my ass
248
00:11:53,102 --> 00:11:56,070
about Steve and his thieving
band of salty shit-dogs.
249
00:11:56,072 --> 00:11:58,072
I got to get him and his
stupid ship out of here!
250
00:11:58,074 --> 00:12:01,175
Why don't we blow it up
with this Polaris nuclear sub?
251
00:12:01,177 --> 00:12:04,578
It fires real torpedoes,
and it's only $6.98!
252
00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:07,081
It's made of [bleep]
cardboard, Malloy!
253
00:12:09,085 --> 00:12:11,152
What the hell was that?
254
00:12:11,154 --> 00:12:12,887
Holy shit.
255
00:12:12,889 --> 00:12:14,722
Whoo!
256
00:12:14,724 --> 00:12:17,391
You blew up my house,
you crazy son of a bitch!
257
00:12:17,393 --> 00:12:21,328
Please...
accept this as my apology.
258
00:12:21,330 --> 00:12:22,329
Uh-oh.
259
00:12:24,167 --> 00:12:27,835
Oh, god. What am I gonna do?
260
00:12:29,005 --> 00:12:30,571
We here for reward.
261
00:12:30,573 --> 00:12:32,440
- Are any of you a hypnotist?
- No.
262
00:12:32,442 --> 00:12:34,375
- No, not me.
- No, no, no.
263
00:12:34,377 --> 00:12:35,943
I sell mogwais.
264
00:12:35,945 --> 00:12:37,411
Get the hell out of here!
265
00:12:37,413 --> 00:12:39,713
What am I supposed to
do with a Chinese army?
266
00:12:39,715 --> 00:12:42,016
Oh, holy Shanghai, that's it!
267
00:12:42,018 --> 00:12:45,252
If Steve wants to play
pirate, we'll play pirate.
268
00:12:45,254 --> 00:12:47,254
Pirate? We can't fly a "prane."
269
00:12:47,256 --> 00:12:49,957
So you even hear with an accent?
270
00:12:51,259 --> 00:12:53,694
Mmm. Alexa.
271
00:12:53,696 --> 00:12:56,030
Mmm. Prosciutto.
272
00:12:56,032 --> 00:12:58,032
Connie, wake up! It's me!
273
00:12:58,034 --> 00:13:00,134
I'm gonna sneak down to the
beach while everyone's asleep
274
00:13:00,136 --> 00:13:02,903
- and build a raft to escape.
- You're leaving? Why?
275
00:13:02,905 --> 00:13:04,705
There's something
weird going on here.
276
00:13:04,707 --> 00:13:06,740
- I think we might be in danger.
- You're just jealous
277
00:13:06,742 --> 00:13:09,376
because now I'm beautiful
and you're the ugly one.
278
00:13:09,378 --> 00:13:11,112
Look, whatever! I'm out of here!
279
00:13:11,114 --> 00:13:12,646
Fine!
280
00:13:12,648 --> 00:13:15,649
Wait, Denzel. Can you
give this to Alexa for me?
281
00:13:15,651 --> 00:13:17,651
I've taken up whittling.
282
00:13:20,956 --> 00:13:23,224
Hey, you're a man!
What's a man doin...
283
00:13:23,226 --> 00:13:26,127
♪ yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of rum ♪
284
00:13:26,129 --> 00:13:29,130
♪ let's swing by the zoo,
I need to get some ♪
285
00:13:31,934 --> 00:13:35,336
I love being a pirate!
I can finally wipe myself!
286
00:13:36,771 --> 00:13:38,606
Can somebody drive me to the hospital?
287
00:13:42,145 --> 00:13:44,078
Everybody grab a ginsu.
288
00:13:46,014 --> 00:13:47,648
What the... ?
289
00:13:50,453 --> 00:13:53,587
Uh, anybody want some beans?
290
00:13:53,589 --> 00:13:55,789
Looking for someone?
291
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:59,593
Hey, dumbass, nice ambush.
We outnumber you three to one.
292
00:14:01,264 --> 00:14:03,631
Then I'd say the odds
are squarely in our favor.
293
00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:05,866
Right, mateys?
294
00:14:12,607 --> 00:14:15,943
Now it's just ye and me.
295
00:14:20,715 --> 00:14:22,483
Get him, Captain Steve!
296
00:14:22,485 --> 00:14:27,955
- Now walk the plank, fatscallion.
- Good-bye, cruel world!
297
00:14:27,957 --> 00:14:31,125
Ow!
I broke my goddamn ankles!
298
00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:34,495
And now for me reward.
299
00:14:38,301 --> 00:14:40,634
You're so brave, Captain Steve.
300
00:14:40,636 --> 00:14:42,636
You should come by my cabin later.
301
00:14:42,638 --> 00:14:46,307
Looks like I found
a chink in his armor.
302
00:14:46,309 --> 00:14:49,577
- Hey, what the hell?
- Figure of speech... don't get offended.
303
00:14:53,816 --> 00:14:55,015
Blimey!
304
00:14:59,187 --> 00:15:03,424
One free fluff and fold? Oh!
305
00:15:03,426 --> 00:15:05,993
Where am I?
Why am I upside down?
306
00:15:05,995 --> 00:15:11,265
Captain Steve, your pirate ass is
about to be [bleep] in the bunghole.
307
00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:13,955
So this is what you freaks
do when I'm not around?
308
00:15:15,272 --> 00:15:17,406
You built a sex dungeon
under your cabin?
309
00:15:17,408 --> 00:15:19,909
Well, it's a lot more
practical than a basement.
310
00:15:19,911 --> 00:15:22,812
And if I ever need a regular dungeon,
I just take out the dildos.
311
00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:24,413
But why are you locking me up?
312
00:15:24,415 --> 00:15:27,082
Because I need this
regatta to go well,
313
00:15:27,084 --> 00:15:29,585
and I can't have Captain
Steve running around
314
00:15:29,587 --> 00:15:32,822
- like a crazy [bleep] pirate!
- I was a pirate?
315
00:15:32,824 --> 00:15:34,557
Get in there.
316
00:15:34,559 --> 00:15:36,892
Hilda, it's your lucky day.
You're free to go.
317
00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:40,229
I can really go, just
like that after 12 years?
318
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:44,233
Hilda, don't let this
experience define you.
319
00:15:45,335 --> 00:15:46,969
You're just in time to enter
320
00:15:46,971 --> 00:15:49,872
the wonderful world
of amazing sea monkeys.
321
00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:54,777
That's it? It doesn't
look anything like the box.
322
00:15:54,779 --> 00:15:58,781
- Malloy, I-I tried to tell you.
- You know what the worst part is?
323
00:15:58,783 --> 00:16:00,449
That you were actually right
about something for once.
324
00:16:00,451 --> 00:16:02,818
This stuff is bullshit.
325
00:16:10,293 --> 00:16:12,828
And now, my wealthy
friends with vacation homes
326
00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:16,465
in places I would like to visit,
the moment we've been waiting for...
327
00:16:16,467 --> 00:16:18,334
the Brickleberry regatta!
328
00:16:18,336 --> 00:16:20,503
On your mark, get set...
329
00:16:27,845 --> 00:16:29,845
- What the hell?
- Holy shit!
330
00:16:29,847 --> 00:16:32,982
It does look like the box!
I told you this stuff works!
331
00:16:36,387 --> 00:16:38,153
Face it, Woody...
there's only one hero
332
00:16:38,155 --> 00:16:40,289
brave enough to fight this monster.
333
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:43,362
- Klan Man?
- Captain Steve!
334
00:16:44,895 --> 00:16:47,563
Please! Y'all can't
do this to Connie!
335
00:16:50,568 --> 00:16:53,969
Are you ready to mate
with your chosen one?
336
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:57,339
What do you think?
I'm leaving a snail trail.
337
00:17:00,076 --> 00:17:02,011
Oh, my god.
338
00:17:02,013 --> 00:17:04,413
Are you ready for me, Connie?
339
00:17:04,415 --> 00:17:06,849
- Uh-huh.
- Come here.
340
00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:16,392
- I can't.
- What?! Why not?
341
00:17:16,394 --> 00:17:18,327
Because...
342
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:21,830
You're... so... ugly!
343
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,366
That's right, Connie.
This is "You're so ugly!"
344
00:17:24,368 --> 00:17:27,102
The reality show that
humiliates unattractive people!
345
00:17:27,104 --> 00:17:28,737
- But...
- We were going to punk
346
00:17:28,739 --> 00:17:31,006
some other beast, but
then you washed up onshore,
347
00:17:31,008 --> 00:17:32,875
and we couldn't believe our luck.
348
00:17:32,877 --> 00:17:34,877
You mean I'm not
having sex with Alexa?
349
00:17:37,615 --> 00:17:40,182
Oh, come on, did you really
think someone like you
350
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:41,784
could get someone like her?
351
00:17:41,786 --> 00:17:44,053
Sorry, Connie. I couldn't
stop these sick bastards.
352
00:17:44,055 --> 00:17:47,056
"Sick"? Hey, we're just
giving America what it wants.
353
00:17:47,058 --> 00:17:49,258
Nothing gets ratings
like degrading people,
354
00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:52,027
especially a hideous,
trout-faced monster like Connie.
355
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:53,395
Am I right, ladies?
356
00:17:53,397 --> 00:17:55,064
Yeah!
357
00:17:55,066 --> 00:17:56,231
Oh.
358
00:17:59,270 --> 00:18:01,804
- There it is!
- Holy shit!
359
00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:04,440
- What is that?
- It's the sea monster!
360
00:18:04,442 --> 00:18:07,810
You said "sea monkey."
I was planning to overfeed it to death.
361
00:18:07,812 --> 00:18:09,979
- I can't fight that thing.
- Sure you can.
362
00:18:09,981 --> 00:18:12,314
You're Captain Steve,
the fearless pirate.
363
00:18:13,985 --> 00:18:16,603
Ethel, the truth is, I
was only fearless because
364
00:18:16,604 --> 00:18:19,221
a hypnotist put a
medallion around my neck.
365
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:21,890
Without that, I'm nothing.
366
00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:24,326
No, Steve, the medallion
didn't do brave things.
367
00:18:24,328 --> 00:18:28,797
You did.
Now it's time to believe in yoursel...
368
00:18:28,799 --> 00:18:32,134
Help, Steve! Help!
369
00:18:35,439 --> 00:18:37,339
You're in no danger!
370
00:18:37,341 --> 00:18:40,075
This is all part of the entertainment!
371
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:42,162
Great special effects, huh?
372
00:18:43,348 --> 00:18:46,350
Shi-i-i-it!
373
00:18:47,519 --> 00:18:50,120
Help!
374
00:18:53,159 --> 00:18:55,159
Steve, I knew you were brave.
375
00:18:57,263 --> 00:19:01,365
I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna die!
376
00:19:07,373 --> 00:19:09,373
Ah, bad idea!
377
00:19:11,176 --> 00:19:12,977
Yes!
I got to order more of these!
378
00:19:14,380 --> 00:19:16,480
Hey, Captain Steve!
What's up?
379
00:19:16,482 --> 00:19:19,650
Men, you're alive!
I'm gonna get you out of here.
380
00:19:19,652 --> 00:19:21,385
- No, we like it here.
- What?
381
00:19:21,387 --> 00:19:22,820
In the last two minutes,
382
00:19:22,822 --> 00:19:25,256
we formed our own
little utopian society.
383
00:19:25,258 --> 00:19:27,925
It's like the 4-H
club with less [bleep]!
384
00:19:27,927 --> 00:19:29,493
Guys, if we don't get out,
385
00:19:29,495 --> 00:19:31,862
the stomach acid will
eat through our skin.
386
00:19:31,864 --> 00:19:33,898
Well, that explains the skeleton foot.
387
00:19:33,900 --> 00:19:36,233
I've got it!
Everybody get on the cannon.
388
00:19:36,235 --> 00:19:38,068
Aye, aye, captain.
389
00:19:39,738 --> 00:19:41,739
Oh!
390
00:19:51,716 --> 00:19:55,386
Steve, that was so brave!
I can't believe you survived.
391
00:19:55,388 --> 00:19:59,189
Oh, my god, you're right.
I almost died!
392
00:20:05,563 --> 00:20:07,631
At least we can have sex now.
393
00:20:09,936 --> 00:20:12,136
I'm sorry I ever
called you ugly, Connie.
394
00:20:12,138 --> 00:20:15,572
That's okay. At least you
tried to look out for me.
395
00:20:15,574 --> 00:20:20,844
- Hey, do you think I overreacted?
- No.
396
00:20:24,984 --> 00:20:27,251
Poor Jim didn't make it out alive.
397
00:20:30,323 --> 00:20:33,724
Again! Again! That's better
than [bleep] six flags!
398
00:20:33,726 --> 00:20:35,459
Screw those rich bastards.
399
00:20:35,461 --> 00:20:39,430
If we can't keep the
poor out, let 'em pour in.
400
00:20:39,432 --> 00:20:41,732
Argh!
Step right up, ye poor people!
401
00:20:41,734 --> 00:20:43,934
Ride the Sunken Monkey!
402
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:54,502
sync & correction by f1nc0
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