Imagine you have a Brazilian girlfriend.
What are you waiting for, mommy?!
- Johnny is shot. - Who'll be my best man now?
My name is Muhammad Abdul Aziz Ali. I'd like to confess a murder.
Maybe best we confer with Johnny before we approach her.
- You're not working in a nail salon. - No.
Want to take a trip home?
Could you help me out a bit?
- No, my fingers get so cold. - I see?
Yes. But I see you later on.
Look at that ...
You take that, I take this. I'm so fond of pink gold, you see.
The Hollywood star and animal friend Hayden Panettiere did today blog that -
- Norwegian authorities don't do enough to help Heikki, the beached whale.
Hey boys ... What do you think, boys?
A Norwegian is arrested in Brazil, on suspicion of drug smuggling.
The 38 year old Roar Lien from Lillehammer was arrested this morning.
Brazilian authorities claim Lien planned -
- to use a wedding cruise to smuggle 10 kg cocain.
Hi, hi! So nice to see you all.
Welcome to the anger management group. How are you doing?
- Hi there. We're all started I see. - Hi! Thanks.
This is Muhammad. He's joined our group.
Yes. Hello, everybody. Nice to meet you.
People get a bit terrified when they see us muslims.
So I thought I'd start with a joke.
What do you say to a muslim that has his hand far up the backside of a camel?
- Engine trouble? - That was a bit funny.
This muslim is a blasphemist.
I actually understand what you are saying.
My wife will cut your balls off, you homo.
No! No, Rashid! No, Rashid! Stop!
We agreed on this everybody: We speak Norwegian here. Ok?
Maybe you can tell us how you got here?
Yes. It so happens that ...
I killed a fantastic girl called Randi. That was called Randi.
We had a few professional disagreements, -
- and I totally lost my control.
So just watch out, Rashid!
I'm just joking.
It's important to joke around a bit, when it's about as serious stuff as murder.
Yes ... Don't know, does anyone else feel a bit angry, -
- and wants to share today, or ...?
- Hi. Welcome. - Torgeir Lien.
You have our deepest sympathy, Torgeir. We're working hard to help you.
- You heard him. Navy Seals.
Hey you! Dont' touch him! Stop it!
And no more messging around today. Ok?
Helicopter?
He came in with high tide, so the only way back to sea is over the mainland.
How much will this operation cost?
- Seriously, you can forget about this. - I don't think you understand the gravity of ...
- You have to come here a while. - I'm sorry, I have to ...
How is this for you? You're in the middle of this. Do you miss your brother?
Yes, you can say that I ... that I love him.
A powerful testimony, about a lacking Norwegian crisis management.
Ida, book two tickets to Rio.
I've eaten kebab for 20 years, ..
You heart is hammering like a herd of wild bulls.
Cool that you writo the script to "The Halfsister" How did you come up with all that?
- I was smoking a lot of crack at the time. - Cool.
I'm not a lady either.
Look there. The cleaning lady looks like Héctor Rossi.
Look boys! Héctor Rossi's doppelganger!
It was the gringo!
Fight! Fight! Fight!
- You're gonna die, pussy!
Cake quiz! Cake quiz! Cake quiz! Cake quiz! Cake quiz! Cake quiz!
Ok, ok, boys. You'll get cake quiz!
- Was it history we were on? - Yes.
To which royal house did Henry 8th belong?
Could we not get a better question?
I think I can contribute here.
If you need one more person on the team?
- Boys, I got a bad feeling here. - Did I say something wrong?
- You don't recognise me? - No, I ...
2006. Case 17 B. Disability aid.
- Refused by case handler Johansen. - You had longer hair back then.
A lot were different back then.
Can we not let bygones be bygones? It's almost 10 years ago.
Guys, let's play another day.
Oh God...
As long as you are not angry with me, I don't care about these problems.
- Everybody's got the right ... - Shut up!
No access for fake muslims.
Hi, daddy. How ...? In hospital? Excuse me.
What happened? I'll take a taxi. See you.
Check her out!
- Section 3. - Ok.
Oh…, my love.
Tell me about your hard thighs.
The gringoen was sent to the pervert ward!
Try section 2.
Are you ok?
No.
We'll sort it out.
It'll be fine. We're going to a lot of important meetings tomorrow.
- I'll never get out of here - Don't talk like that.
- What is this? - I'll never get out of here, Torgeir.
Wagner is sending a message from the hospital ward. He'll get me.
- Who is Wagner? - He'll get me.
We'll get you out of here, Roar!
- Going to the beach?
You weren't thinking about meeting Anton Ortiz wearing shorts?
I'll put the legs on before the meeting. I'm not a complete idiot.
No, of course not.
Environmentalists took to the streets today to protest against whale hunting.
The reason is the beached whale in whale hunting nation Norway.
You've no right to treat the whales like that!
It's a fish. Who cares ...
Go back to Norway, assholes!
Idiots.
We'll bring Ortiz in the back door, so he doesn't see this.
I'm sorry but the meeting is off. Ortiz doesn't want any contact with Norway -
- as long as there is so much negatve focus.
Ida, call the press section and start firefighting.
It'll be good to blow off som steam after this day.
What are you doing here? I haven't opened up yet.
I haven't snooped around anywhere! And I think you should leave now!
Things are happeing in Vesterålen. These pictures show army helicopters -
- on way to carry Heikki back to safety.
You lie watching TV all day.
Don't you know that wild animals like that needs fresh air?
Can't you take her? It's so bloody cold.
I understand it's difficult to move from your life in Oslo, but enough is enough!
There's more life in the beached whale than you!
Foreign Ministry secretary, Rolv Ekern, gave this commentary:
We are glad to show that Norway take animal welfare seriously.
I said nothing to that pig! Not a word!
We'll get them, Laila. Try to get some nourishment.
- Arne, we have to hit these people today. - The boss has asked us to remain calm.
You're the leader now, and they take care of their people.
Do you think Johnny would have let this leave?
- He wouldn't. - Ok, I'll call one of the boys.
- You ok?
Where are they? Though you said they'll be here.
They're here somewhere probably.
Maybe we should just get a massage while waiting?
- Perhaps a bit suspicious just standing here. - I think you're right.
- Hi, gayboy.
Arne! Get the hell you! Get out!
Not here!
Got yourself a new belt, or?
A ladies belt?
- Did you change after shave, or?
When Heikki beached, I thought we had gotten a problem. But we got a challenge.
And Tormod from Greenpeace can say more about that.
Heikki was very dehydrated, Heikki was hurting.
We had him in the pool here to build up his strength.
But thanks to international pressure and hard work from us in Greenpeace -
- Heikki is now ready for freedom!
I know many were happy when Hayden Panettiere wanted to open the gates.
Unfortunately Hayden was dobbel booked.
She was going to Letterman, and we have to respect that.
But we have a worthy replacement:
The whale's name brother Heikki Holmås!
It was the film "Free Willy" that made me environmentally engaged.
Therefor it's a great honour to be here with you today.
For me, socialism is about equal rights.
An when Heikki was ashore, he didn't have the opportunities the other whales had.
Together we have achieved for Heikki to get those opportunitues back.
Let Heikki live!
He's out!
Good luck, Heikki!
I know this was a very bad idea, Roy.
Relax. The Baltics don't even know who we are.