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Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
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♪ I'm goin' down to South Park,
gonna have myself a time ♪
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♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪
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♪ humble folks without temptation ♪
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♪ goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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♪ ample parking day or night ♪
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♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪
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♪ heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
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♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
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♪ Come on down to South Park and
meet some friends of mine ♪
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[Triumphant music playing]
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There you are, Kyle.
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I was gonna see if you and brother
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wanted to go down to the bowling alley.
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No, no, Dad, please.
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I just got Call of Duty:
Advanced Warfare."
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Me and Ike are gonna play it together.
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It's your day off.
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You boys really want to spend
it inside in front of the TV?
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Please, Dad, I've been looking
forward to this all week!
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And it's me and Ike's bonding time.
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Really. This is good for our relationship.
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All right.
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I swear I'll never understand
you kids these days.
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Yes!
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[Munching]
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[Knock on door]
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Hey, Ike!
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Look what I got... the new "Call of Duty"!
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You want to go downstairs and play?
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[Rapid gunfire]
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Meh.
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[Munching]
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"Meh"?
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Ike, we have the whole day to play Xbox.
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Mom and Dad are leaving!
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Maybe later, 'kay?
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What are you watching?
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- How's it going, bros?
- My name's Pewdiepie.
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We're playing "Call of
Duty: Advanced Warfare."
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- Here we go.
- [Rapid gunfire]
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Ah! People are shooting at me, bros!
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You're watching someone play "Call of Duty"
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and talk about it?
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[Clapping] Pewdiepie!
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There's lots of bullets, and I got to run!
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Run for the bunker!
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Ahhhhhh!
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But, Ike, we can go play
the game downstairs.
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Isn't that better
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than watching some guy
on YouTube playing it?
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All right, I hope that's enough.
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Meh.
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Uh, like I said, um...
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Look at this. Look at this.
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Oh, gigrrig!
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[Rapid gunfire]
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[Bell rings]
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Dude, I'm telling you, it's crazy.
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All my little brother wants to do
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is sit on YouTube watching this
Pewdiepie play video games.
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I swear I don't understand kids these days.
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What's a Pewdiepie do? Google him!
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He's this guy from Sweden
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who has over 30 million
YouTube subscribers.
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We didn't even know,
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but he's a bigger celebrity
to kids than anyone.
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It's just seems so lame.
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He plays video games and
makes millions of dollars,
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and it's lame how?
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Because... because that's
not even entertainment.
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I mean, it's just... just
rehashing shit, isn't it?
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It's like everything these kids
are into these days, you know.
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It's just... rehashed shit.
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[Pop music playing]
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Announcer: This Saturday...
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At the Pepsi center...
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It's women of rock!
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Miley Cyrus.
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Iggy Azalea.
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Nicki Minaj.
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And Lorde!
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All on one stage... on one night!
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With a special appearance by
Michael Jackson's hologram.
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♪ Hee, hee ♪
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Ticket proceeds help fight
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the gluten crisis in West Africa.
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It's a night of pure... pure estrogen!
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Tickets on sale now.
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[Door creaks]
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[Beep]
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Yeah, it's me.
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I told you... I can't play the concert.
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Come on. This is a great lineup.
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Look, I do a lot of
post-production enhancements
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to make my music sound
the way it does, okay?
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I feel like if I play live,
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I'm gonna really disappoint people.
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I'm sorry, but the answer is no.
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I don't think you're really in a position
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to turn down this kind of gig.
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What is that supposed to mean?
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I understand your son gave
all your savings to Canada.
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Yes. Freemium gaming.
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I'm sorry.
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Freemium gaming destroys lives.
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I lost my father to Candy Crush.
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[Sighs]
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You need this, Lorde,
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and the girls out there need you.
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You've got till tomorrow to think it over.
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I love Candy Crush.
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All I wanted was to play one
level of "Call of Duty,"
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and you know what Ike told me?
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He said the living room is for old people.
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I don't get it. The whole
fun of "Call of Duty"
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is that you get to do the shooting.
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I know!
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But that doesn't matter anymore!
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These kids don't want to play the game!
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They just want to watch
people on YouTube play it!
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And you know why? Commentary.
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- Mrphrmhrmphm?
- Yeah.
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You used to sit in the living
room with family and friends
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to hear their commentary on things.
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Now you can get it
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with a little guy in a
window on the screen,
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someone who just comments on stuff.
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I mean, really, who would
even want to do that?
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Hey, brahs, what's going on?
This is Cartmanbra!
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Be sure to subscribe to my channel
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if you haven't already...
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[High-pitched voice] 'Cause
subscribin' makes you feel good
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uh, so, today I'm gonna
comment on "Call of Duty."
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More specifically, I'm going to comment
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on my friends commenting on "Call of Duty,"
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so let's start.
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All I wanted was to play one
level of "Call of Duty,"
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- and you know what Ike told me?
- That's Kyle the Jew again,
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- talking about "Call of Duty" to Stan.
- He said the living room is for old people.
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I don't get it. The whole
fun of "Call of Duty"
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is that you get to do the shooting.
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[Laughs] Stan is such a douchebag.
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- I know! But that doesn't matter anymore!
- He just agrees with Kyle no matter what.
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These kids don't want to play the game!
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They just want to watch
people on YouTube play it!
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- Mrphrmhrmphm? - There's Kenny
commenting on "Call of Duty."
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Kenny! Kenny! Speak up!
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Speak through the hood, Kenny!
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[Dishes clanking]
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Mom, Dad, Kelly and Stacy
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are going to the women of rock concert.
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Can I go with them?
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I don't know, Shelley.
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But, Mom, Lorde is playing!
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You can't not let me go,
or I'll hate you forever!
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Shelley, there's a good chance
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Lorde isn't going to show up.
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She will, too!
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She has to show up,
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and if I don't get to see
her, I'm gonna kill myself!
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And what if you go
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and Lorde doesn't sound so great in person?
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That doesn't matter, Dad.
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We love Lorde because she's real!
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God, you guys don't understand anything!
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You know... I think Lorde
is going to play tomorrow.
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So, can I go or not?!
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If she means that much to you.
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Okay, yay. Thanks. Love you guys.
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So, you're doing it?
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How can I let her down?
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You mind finishing up here?
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I think I should practice a little.
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Of course not.
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Anything to keep you away from cock magic.
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Cartman: Uh, so, today I'm gonna
comment on "Call of Duty."
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Hey, Ike, you want to
come watch TV with me?
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More specifically, I'm going to comment
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on my friends commenting on "Call of Duty,
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so let's start. Oh, no. No, Ike.
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You are not watching him comment on things!
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All I wanted was to play...
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That's Kyle the Jew again,
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talking about "Call of Duty" to Stan.
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What the fuck?
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Stan is such a douchebag.
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He just agrees with Kyle no matter what.
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Ike, that is enough.
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If you're interested in "Call of Duty,"
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then go play it downstairs
in the living room!
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God, these guys are so
annoying, aren't they?
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Commentary. Cartmanbra!
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That's all that matters now...
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Cartmanbra!
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What do you think you're doing?!
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Shooting for the "d" in
a game of "horsedick."
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You know what I mean!
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Why is my little brother watching you
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talking about us talking about him?
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I have a YouTube blog where
I comment on video games.
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Big whoop.
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I don't need Ike listening
to you comment on anything!
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What are you talking about?
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This fat fuck thinks he's Pewdiepie.
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Because of him, I can't get
Ike to come out of his room!
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Because of me?
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I'm pretty sure I'm not the person
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who invented let's plays, Kyle.
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Let's plays?
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That's what they're called, dude.
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Get with the times.
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00:06:43,972 --> 00:06:45,875
[Pop music playing]
214
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♪ There's a party going on,
and it's all right here ♪
215
00:06:49,282 --> 00:06:50,951
♪ yeah-ah-ah ♪
216
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,289
♪ throw my hands in the air ♪
217
00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:55,661
♪ while I'm twerking this chair ♪
218
00:06:55,662 --> 00:06:59,241
♪ there's a party going on,
and it's all right here ♪
219
00:06:59,242 --> 00:07:01,545
♪ yeah-ah-ah ♪
220
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:04,217
♪ and I'm moving my hips
while I'm shaking my tits ♪
221
00:07:04,218 --> 00:07:07,023
All right, guys, uh, Miley's
about to finish up her set,
222
00:07:07,024 --> 00:07:09,094
so next we'll need you, Nicki Minaj,
223
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:10,329
then Iggy Azalea,
224
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,605
who will be performing with a
hologram of Michael Jackson,
225
00:07:12,606 --> 00:07:14,419
and then finally you, Lorde.
226
00:07:14,435 --> 00:07:16,174
Have a great show, ladies!
227
00:07:16,175 --> 00:07:17,744
Hey, uh, listen...
228
00:07:17,745 --> 00:07:21,283
I-I thought I could do this,
but it's not gonna work.
229
00:07:21,284 --> 00:07:23,354
You're nervous. It's understandable.
230
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:24,457
No, I'm...
231
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:28,297
I know for a fact that I
don't sound the same live.
232
00:07:28,298 --> 00:07:31,203
You think those people out there
care what you sound like?
233
00:07:31,204 --> 00:07:32,837
You're just another female pop star.
234
00:07:32,838 --> 00:07:35,209
Just go out there, pump your
hips, and rub your clit.
235
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:37,479
Hey! That's not what my music is about!
236
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:39,783
I'm not reducing myself to that!
237
00:07:39,784 --> 00:07:40,819
[Australian accent] Oh, fuck you, Lorde.
238
00:07:40,820 --> 00:07:42,637
You think you're so much
better than everyone.
239
00:07:42,638 --> 00:07:43,940
No, I don't, Iggy.
240
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,944
I just think that our younger girl fans
241
00:07:45,945 --> 00:07:48,683
need something a little more
positive as role models.
242
00:07:48,684 --> 00:07:50,086
That's easy for you to say
243
00:07:50,087 --> 00:07:52,591
because you don't have a nice body!
244
00:07:52,592 --> 00:07:54,323
Is that why you're so
high and mighty, Lorde...
245
00:07:54,324 --> 00:07:56,366
because you're jealous of this Booty?!
246
00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:58,286
"Iggs," I really don't care
247
00:07:58,287 --> 00:07:59,656
to go through this again with you.
248
00:07:59,657 --> 00:08:00,691
'Cause let's face it...
249
00:08:00,692 --> 00:08:03,430
you got legs that look like a horse!
250
00:08:03,431 --> 00:08:04,498
Fuck you!
251
00:08:04,499 --> 00:08:06,336
Aah! [Grunting]
252
00:08:06,337 --> 00:08:08,340
[Glass breaking]
253
00:08:08,341 --> 00:08:09,207
All right, that's enough!
254
00:08:09,208 --> 00:08:10,143
Look at yourselves!
255
00:08:10,144 --> 00:08:13,349
You're an Internet bullshit artist, Lorde!
256
00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:15,253
[Doorbell rings]
257
00:08:15,254 --> 00:08:15,988
Hey. What's up?
258
00:08:15,989 --> 00:08:17,591
You're not gonna believe this.
259
00:08:17,592 --> 00:08:18,860
Oh, no. What now?
260
00:08:18,861 --> 00:08:20,191
I wanted to get Ike out of his room,
261
00:08:20,192 --> 00:08:22,171
so I invited all his friends
over for a slumber party
262
00:08:22,172 --> 00:08:23,373
to play "Dragon Age: Inquisition."
263
00:08:23,374 --> 00:08:25,578
- Yeah?
- Come on.
264
00:08:25,579 --> 00:08:27,514
[Laughing] ...Just laying there.
265
00:08:27,515 --> 00:08:28,516
[Laughs]
266
00:08:28,517 --> 00:08:30,320
You see? Look at this.
267
00:08:30,321 --> 00:08:31,817
Ike has all his friends over,
268
00:08:31,818 --> 00:08:33,789
and they're just sitting
around on their own computers,
269
00:08:33,790 --> 00:08:34,668
barely talking to each other.
270
00:08:34,669 --> 00:08:36,738
Ike is watching Pewdiepie
play "Dragon Age."
271
00:08:36,739 --> 00:08:37,840
I'm going...
272
00:08:37,841 --> 00:08:39,443
♪ dun-dun, DA-DA-dun-dun, DA-DA-Dan ♪
273
00:08:39,444 --> 00:08:41,281
Pewdiepie! Pewdiepie! Pewdiepie! Pewdiepie!
274
00:08:41,282 --> 00:08:42,650
And this kid is watching Cartman
275
00:08:42,651 --> 00:08:44,587
commenting on people
commenting on "Dragon Age"!
276
00:08:44,588 --> 00:08:46,858
It's a really great game.
The characters are so rich!
277
00:08:46,859 --> 00:08:48,244
Butters is such a butthole.
278
00:08:48,245 --> 00:08:49,931
Oh, my God. Cartmanbra!
279
00:08:49,932 --> 00:08:51,166
- Cartmanbra!
- Cartmanbra!
280
00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:53,433
Dude, video games are meant to
be played in a living room,
281
00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:55,208
not something to watch people comment on.
282
00:08:55,209 --> 00:08:58,254
Okay, grandpa, we'll be
sure to keep that in mind.
283
00:08:58,255 --> 00:09:00,191
[Laughter]
284
00:09:00,192 --> 00:09:01,880
"Grandpa"?! This is how they talk to us.
285
00:09:01,881 --> 00:09:03,382
You better watch your mouth, kid!
286
00:09:03,383 --> 00:09:04,137
Yeah, Conner.
287
00:09:04,138 --> 00:09:06,709
We're supposed to respect
our elders, remember?
288
00:09:06,710 --> 00:09:09,682
It's best to just make old
people think they matter.
289
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:10,650
Oh, is that right?
290
00:09:10,651 --> 00:09:12,387
Do you even know how to multiply?
291
00:09:12,388 --> 00:09:13,184
No, sir.
292
00:09:13,185 --> 00:09:14,892
Thank goodness we have you to do that.
293
00:09:14,893 --> 00:09:16,896
[Laughs]
294
00:09:16,897 --> 00:09:18,399
We're not being grandpas.
295
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:20,536
Your guys' stuff is just seriously lame.
296
00:09:20,537 --> 00:09:22,072
Our generation's stuff is cool.
297
00:09:22,073 --> 00:09:23,124
Oh, my God, I killed him!
298
00:09:23,125 --> 00:09:24,496
[Pop music playing] ♪ hey, hey ♪
299
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:25,762
♪ Missy, Missy, Missy ♪
300
00:09:25,763 --> 00:09:27,533
♪ Missy who, who? That's all I do ♪
301
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:28,735
♪ is rip off Missy ♪
302
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,639
♪ Missy who? ♪
♪ Missy who? ♪
303
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:31,774
♪ Missy who? Missy who? ♪
304
00:09:31,775 --> 00:09:34,346
♪ Missy who, who? Missy who, who? ♪
305
00:09:34,347 --> 00:09:35,949
All right, bitches and hos,
306
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,454
here he is, via hologram and shit...
307
00:09:38,455 --> 00:09:40,291
Michael Jackson!
308
00:09:40,292 --> 00:09:41,760
And cue the hologram!
309
00:09:41,761 --> 00:09:43,464
♪ Missy, who, who, who? ♪
310
00:09:45,469 --> 00:09:46,737
[Hologram bloops]
311
00:09:50,945 --> 00:09:51,981
♪ Hee, hee ♪
312
00:09:55,621 --> 00:09:57,765
They shouldn't rehash dead people.
313
00:09:57,766 --> 00:09:58,800
It's so wrong.
314
00:09:58,801 --> 00:10:01,304
Oh, Lorde, you're such a purest.
315
00:10:01,305 --> 00:10:02,641
Can't help it, Nik.
316
00:10:02,642 --> 00:10:05,987
Can't help feeling like
we're losing something.
317
00:10:10,858 --> 00:10:12,460
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
318
00:10:12,461 --> 00:10:13,997
♪ ooh, ooh ♪
319
00:10:15,301 --> 00:10:17,428
Hi, everybody! I love you!
320
00:10:17,429 --> 00:10:20,066
All: Thanks for loving me! I love you, too!
321
00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:22,838
So, I guess there's this new
trend with young people
322
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:25,543
where the celebrities they look up to most
323
00:10:25,544 --> 00:10:27,036
are YouTube commentators,
324
00:10:27,037 --> 00:10:29,775
just ordinary people who
sit in front of a mike
325
00:10:29,776 --> 00:10:32,480
and blab their opinions about everything
326
00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:35,018
while their mindless, loyal
followers cheer them on.
327
00:10:35,019 --> 00:10:36,421
Isn't that crazy?
328
00:10:36,422 --> 00:10:38,725
[Cheers and applause]
329
00:10:38,726 --> 00:10:41,631
Well, let's meet one of these
stars of the Internet.
330
00:10:41,632 --> 00:10:44,336
Please welcome Cartmanbra.
331
00:10:44,337 --> 00:10:45,739
Cartmanbra!
332
00:10:45,740 --> 00:10:49,380
So, can you explain to our audience members
333
00:10:49,381 --> 00:10:50,748
over the age of 5
334
00:10:50,749 --> 00:10:53,554
what it is that you do?
335
00:10:53,555 --> 00:10:56,299
Well, Wendy, I started by talking about
people talking about video games,
336
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,003
but now I'm branching out
into talking about people
337
00:10:58,004 --> 00:10:59,606
talking about music and
the arts, as well.
338
00:10:59,607 --> 00:11:01,476
And why do you think young people...
339
00:11:01,477 --> 00:11:03,914
Cartmanbra!
340
00:11:03,915 --> 00:11:07,655
Why do you think young people
are responding to this?
341
00:11:07,656 --> 00:11:10,327
[Mockingly] Why dah you thin' young
perpel are papondin' to der?
342
00:11:10,328 --> 00:11:12,097
I'm asking you a question.
343
00:11:12,098 --> 00:11:13,733
[Mockingly] I'm atting you a questo.
Why dah Du qua...
344
00:11:13,734 --> 00:11:15,837
aah! Cartmanbra!
345
00:11:15,838 --> 00:11:17,107
[Quickly] Cartmanbra!
346
00:11:17,108 --> 00:11:19,411
Be sure to subscribe to my channel, brahs.
347
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:22,350
[Cheers and applause]
348
00:11:22,351 --> 00:11:25,423
And now give it up for the
girl from New Zealand...
349
00:11:25,424 --> 00:11:26,658
Lorde!
350
00:11:26,659 --> 00:11:28,362
[Cheers and applause]
351
00:11:28,363 --> 00:11:30,800
Thank you! Thanks a lot!
352
00:11:30,801 --> 00:11:33,572
This is for all the royals out there!
353
00:11:33,573 --> 00:11:34,875
[Guitar plays]
354
00:11:37,580 --> 00:11:39,918
♪ Lorde, Lorde ♪
355
00:11:39,919 --> 00:11:42,723
♪ I'm Lorde, ya, ya, ya ♪
356
00:11:42,724 --> 00:11:45,595
♪ sitting on the toilet thinking ♪
357
00:11:45,596 --> 00:11:48,468
♪ 'bout how I'm not as rich
as other people, ya, ya, ya ♪
358
00:11:48,469 --> 00:11:50,905
♪ ya, ya, ya, ya ♪
359
00:11:50,906 --> 00:11:54,146
♪ I'll never be, I'll never be royalty ♪
360
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:55,755
- [Cheering stops]
- ♪ ya, ya, ya ♪
361
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:59,162
♪ but that'd be nice 'cause
that'd be nice fantasy ♪
362
00:12:00,732 --> 00:12:04,739
♪ women's bathrooms smell so
nice, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya ♪
363
00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:07,912
- [Booing] - ♪ and we'll never
be Lorde, Lorde, Lorde ♪
364
00:12:07,913 --> 00:12:11,519
♪ Lorde flushing, Lorde,
Lorde, Lorde, lo... ♪
365
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:12,955
Uh, okay.
366
00:12:12,956 --> 00:12:14,525
[Feedback] Oh, God. Sorry.
367
00:12:14,526 --> 00:12:16,028
[Booing continues]
368
00:12:16,029 --> 00:12:18,599
Uh, hold on. Hang on.
369
00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,169
[Hologram bloops]
370
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,840
♪ Hee, hee ♪
371
00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:24,578
I'm free! I'm free!
372
00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:27,083
Sorry, folks. Just one second here.
373
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,990
♪ Hee, hee, DA-DA-dit DA-dit ♪
374
00:12:30,991 --> 00:12:32,995
Stop him!
375
00:12:35,901 --> 00:12:37,804
Michael Jackson's hologram is on the loose.
376
00:12:37,805 --> 00:12:39,740
♪ Hee, hee ♪
377
00:12:39,741 --> 00:12:41,043
- [Booing continues]
- ♪ oh, ya, ya ♪
378
00:12:41,044 --> 00:12:42,813
Okay, uh...
379
00:12:42,814 --> 00:12:44,183
♪ Ah, ya, ya, ya, ya ♪
380
00:12:44,184 --> 00:12:45,853
[Booing continues]
381
00:12:50,629 --> 00:12:53,634
Okay, uh, uh...
382
00:12:53,635 --> 00:12:54,804
Ooh!
383
00:12:54,805 --> 00:12:56,948
Oh, yeah! Oh, my clit!
384
00:12:56,949 --> 00:12:58,016
Oh, yeah!
385
00:12:58,017 --> 00:12:59,419
Ooh, yeah.
386
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,523
Flick that bean. Yeah.
387
00:13:01,524 --> 00:13:02,759
[Booing continues]
388
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,097
Oh, I'm so horny. Yeah.
389
00:13:05,098 --> 00:13:08,636
Ooh, fuck! My clit's so big.
390
00:13:08,637 --> 00:13:10,675
Ooh!
391
00:13:14,884 --> 00:13:19,124
Could you, um, pass the potatoes, Stan?
392
00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:21,095
Great. Thanks.
393
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:24,768
Well, nobody's talking.
394
00:13:24,769 --> 00:13:26,940
Doesn't anyone have anything to talk about?
395
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:30,713
Why did you have to rub
your clit onstage, Dad?
396
00:13:30,714 --> 00:13:32,851
I was told to.
397
00:13:32,852 --> 00:13:35,924
You were told to walk out
in front of 100,000 people,
398
00:13:35,925 --> 00:13:38,795
including little girls who look up to you,
399
00:13:38,796 --> 00:13:40,933
and start rubbing your clit?
400
00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:41,901
Okay, hold on.
401
00:13:41,902 --> 00:13:43,639
"A," I don't have a clit,
402
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:46,109
so, technically, I wasn't rubbing anything.
403
00:13:46,110 --> 00:13:48,648
And "b," I didn't want
to even perform tonight,
404
00:13:48,649 --> 00:13:50,518
but Stanley gave all our money to Canada
405
00:13:50,519 --> 00:13:51,921
through a Freemium game,
406
00:13:51,922 --> 00:13:55,161
so if anyone rubbed their clit, it was him.
407
00:13:55,162 --> 00:13:57,706
[Scoffs]
408
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:06,256
[Sobbing]
409
00:14:23,022 --> 00:14:24,324
[Squeak]
410
00:14:27,297 --> 00:14:28,632
It's dying.
411
00:14:28,633 --> 00:14:31,806
The living room is dying.
412
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:36,815
Yeah, it's me.
413
00:14:36,816 --> 00:14:38,551
I need to fix this.
414
00:14:38,552 --> 00:14:41,023
How can I undo the clit rubbing?
415
00:14:41,024 --> 00:14:43,728
What are you talking about? It's great!
416
00:14:43,729 --> 00:14:46,834
You're the most commented-on
artist in the world right now.
417
00:14:46,835 --> 00:14:48,170
You're blowing up Twitter
418
00:14:48,171 --> 00:14:50,625
and you're trending on
Cartmanbra. #clitnubbin.
419
00:14:50,626 --> 00:14:51,611
Look, this isn't what I want.
420
00:14:51,612 --> 00:14:52,879
My music is supposed to be...
421
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,184
it's not about the music, Lorde.
422
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,661
It never was.
423
00:14:57,997 --> 00:14:59,532
It's about comments.
424
00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:01,670
And, sister, you got 'em.
425
00:15:01,671 --> 00:15:04,008
This ends now.
426
00:15:04,009 --> 00:15:06,981
I'm gonna tell people the truth.
427
00:15:12,158 --> 00:15:15,062
Will you look at that?
Everyone on their cellphones.
428
00:15:15,063 --> 00:15:17,267
Nobody saying a word to each other.
429
00:15:17,268 --> 00:15:18,336
Call me a grandpa,
430
00:15:18,337 --> 00:15:21,742
but I still like commenting
face-to-face with folks.
431
00:15:21,743 --> 00:15:22,912
You know what I mean, buddy?
432
00:15:22,913 --> 00:15:23,947
Yes.
433
00:15:23,948 --> 00:15:26,118
You're heading up to the
mountains, too, huh?
434
00:15:26,119 --> 00:15:27,086
Gonna do some skiing?
435
00:15:27,087 --> 00:15:28,623
No, I just need to...
436
00:15:28,624 --> 00:15:31,127
Take care of some... important business.
437
00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:33,698
Oh, what kind of business?
Are you a fisherman?
438
00:15:33,699 --> 00:15:35,235
Yes. I mean, yes. That's all.
439
00:15:35,236 --> 00:15:37,305
I'm... I'm just gonna fish and hunt.
440
00:15:37,306 --> 00:15:39,911
Oh, you're a hunter.
What do you prey upon?
441
00:15:39,912 --> 00:15:43,051
Nobody! That's ignorant!
442
00:15:43,052 --> 00:15:44,954
Well, you must have a
favorite kind of prey.
443
00:15:44,955 --> 00:15:47,827
Allegedly. Allegedly! That's ignorant!
444
00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:50,947
You know, excuse me for saying so,
445
00:15:50,948 --> 00:15:53,385
but... you seem kind of... transparent.
446
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,819
That's ignorant. I'm just cold.
447
00:15:55,820 --> 00:15:57,690
I'm saying it must make it easier
448
00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:59,426
to sneak up on your prey.
449
00:15:59,427 --> 00:16:01,597
Allegedly! I'm weary of this conversation.
450
00:16:01,598 --> 00:16:03,601
Can we please stop talking? Please?
451
00:16:03,602 --> 00:16:05,172
Ignorant.
452
00:16:06,675 --> 00:16:08,199
Well, whatever it is you're after,
453
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,045
I hope you get it.
454
00:16:09,046 --> 00:16:10,815
Oh, I will.
455
00:16:10,816 --> 00:16:12,920
Trust me. I will.
456
00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:21,902
Oh, we've lost any ability
457
00:16:21,903 --> 00:16:23,305
to track the hologram's location.
458
00:16:23,306 --> 00:16:24,841
It... it looks like it reprogrammed
459
00:16:24,842 --> 00:16:26,177
its guidance systems.
460
00:16:26,178 --> 00:16:28,382
We paid a lot of money for that hologram.
461
00:16:28,383 --> 00:16:30,486
You better find a way to get it back.
462
00:16:30,487 --> 00:16:31,954
Project Alpha?
463
00:16:31,955 --> 00:16:34,193
Yes. That might be our only option.
464
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:35,862
What is project Alpha?
465
00:16:35,863 --> 00:16:38,334
The first hologram we ever
created to appear onstage.
466
00:16:38,335 --> 00:16:39,369
It was a prototype,
467
00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:41,841
but perhaps the best thing
to stop a hologram...
468
00:16:41,842 --> 00:16:43,110
Is another hologram.
469
00:16:43,111 --> 00:16:44,546
Bring up Project Alpha.
470
00:16:44,547 --> 00:16:46,517
Sir, are you sure that we want to...
471
00:16:46,518 --> 00:16:48,420
- Bring it up!
- [Keyboard clacking]
472
00:16:48,421 --> 00:16:51,026
[Hologram bloops]
473
00:16:51,027 --> 00:16:52,862
What is that?
474
00:16:52,863 --> 00:16:54,198
Tupac.
475
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:56,476
Tupac.
476
00:16:56,477 --> 00:16:58,145
Yo.
477
00:16:58,146 --> 00:17:01,151
The hologram of Michael
Jackson is on the loose.
478
00:17:01,152 --> 00:17:04,392
We need you to... take
care of the situation.
479
00:17:04,393 --> 00:17:06,296
[Gun cocks]
480
00:17:07,499 --> 00:17:10,304
Godspeed, Tupac.
481
00:17:11,506 --> 00:17:13,142
[Tires screech]
482
00:17:13,143 --> 00:17:15,847
Oh, my gosh, honey! Look, it's Tupac!
483
00:17:15,848 --> 00:17:18,019
I told you them homeys didn't cap his ass.
484
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,793
[Tires squeal]
485
00:17:22,794 --> 00:17:24,998
Oh, this is going on Instagram.
486
00:17:24,999 --> 00:17:26,500
Hey, hey. How's it going, brahs?
487
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:28,324
This is Cartmanbra. Cartmanbra!
488
00:17:28,325 --> 00:17:31,191
And, uh, we are... it looks like
we are at the bus stop now.
489
00:17:31,192 --> 00:17:33,663
Yep. There's Kyle, Stan, and
Kenny looking stupid as ever.
490
00:17:33,664 --> 00:17:34,808
I don't know what the hell to do.
491
00:17:34,809 --> 00:17:36,141
The whole world's gone crazy.
492
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,002
Tell me about it.
493
00:17:37,003 --> 00:17:39,363
Uh-oh. Looks like Kyle's taking
issue with something again.
494
00:17:39,364 --> 00:17:41,711
Kyle's got a problem! Cartmanbra!
495
00:17:41,712 --> 00:17:43,315
You know, you used to
sit in the living room
496
00:17:43,316 --> 00:17:44,386
with your friends and family
497
00:17:44,387 --> 00:17:46,788
and they were the ones commenting
on whatever was on TV.
498
00:17:46,789 --> 00:17:48,224
Oh, God.
499
00:17:48,225 --> 00:17:49,785
Do you mind?
500
00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:51,971
Oh, looks like Kyle's commenting
on my commenter window, brahs.
501
00:17:51,972 --> 00:17:54,162
Be sure to comment on that.
#kyle'sgettingfrustrated.
502
00:17:54,163 --> 00:17:56,804
Dude! Nobody wants to hear
you commenting on things.
503
00:17:56,805 --> 00:17:57,706
Oh, really?
504
00:17:57,707 --> 00:17:59,745
10,000 subscribers and counting, brah.
505
00:18:04,988 --> 00:18:06,824
Thanks for seeing me.
506
00:18:06,825 --> 00:18:09,095
I've got my speech written.
507
00:18:09,096 --> 00:18:11,226
I'm ready to let the world know the truth.
508
00:18:12,370 --> 00:18:13,872
Sit down, Lorde.
509
00:18:13,873 --> 00:18:16,777
I'm not interested in being
talked out of ending this.
510
00:18:16,778 --> 00:18:18,782
It's the right thing to do.
511
00:18:20,451 --> 00:18:24,024
Do you know what an
artist is now, Lorde?
512
00:18:24,025 --> 00:18:28,225
An artist is a conversation
piece, nothing more,
513
00:18:28,534 --> 00:18:31,907
like a vase or a kitschy side table,
514
00:18:31,908 --> 00:18:35,780
just something for people to comment on.
515
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,417
The old ways are dying.
516
00:18:37,418 --> 00:18:39,688
We're not making money off records.
517
00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:41,692
We're making money off tweets,
518
00:18:41,693 --> 00:18:43,730
and you've taken it to a whole new level.
519
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:46,768
Well, that's not a world Lorde
ever wanted to be a part of.
520
00:18:46,769 --> 00:18:49,062
On the contrary,
521
00:18:49,063 --> 00:18:51,852
Lorde is going on the
Jimmy Fallon show tonight
522
00:18:51,853 --> 00:18:55,565
and exposing her asshole for
everyone to freak out about.
523
00:18:55,566 --> 00:18:57,603
I'll do no such thing.
524
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:59,941
Who said anything about you? [Click]
525
00:19:01,678 --> 00:19:03,849
[Hologram bloops]
526
00:19:10,997 --> 00:19:14,236
You can't just replace
artists with holograms.
527
00:19:14,237 --> 00:19:16,105
Who will make the content?
528
00:19:16,106 --> 00:19:19,479
Today, commentary is the content.
529
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,886
And, you, I'm afraid,
are... just in the way.
530
00:19:24,157 --> 00:19:26,126
[Bell rings]
531
00:19:26,127 --> 00:19:29,366
Okay, children. Let's take our seats.
532
00:19:29,367 --> 00:19:32,123
Before we get started, Kyle
has asked to say a few words.
533
00:19:32,124 --> 00:19:33,239
Go ahead, Kyle.
534
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,210
What is happening to our living rooms?
535
00:19:35,211 --> 00:19:36,981
There is a crisis in America, and...
536
00:19:36,982 --> 00:19:38,884
Looks like we're in the school now.
537
00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:40,654
Check out Wendy. She's flat as a pancake.
538
00:19:40,655 --> 00:19:42,023
What the hell is that?
539
00:19:42,024 --> 00:19:43,994
It's Cartman's stupid online persona.
540
00:19:43,995 --> 00:19:45,363
Oh, my dick's getting hard again.
541
00:19:45,364 --> 00:19:46,650
It's protruding out my pants!
542
00:19:46,651 --> 00:19:47,760
What the hell?
543
00:19:47,761 --> 00:19:49,362
This is the way of the
future, Mr. Garrison.
544
00:19:49,363 --> 00:19:50,039
It's true!
545
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:50,908
[Chuckles] That's right.
546
00:19:50,909 --> 00:19:52,022
Butters will back me up on anything.
547
00:19:52,023 --> 00:19:53,379
- He's such a bitch.
- [Chuckles] Yeah.
548
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:54,755
There is a crisis in America
549
00:19:54,756 --> 00:19:56,358
as families grow further
and further apart...
550
00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:58,362
[mockingly] There is a crisis in America,
551
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,132
and we have to save our living rooms.
552
00:20:00,133 --> 00:20:01,368
Our living rooms are dying.
553
00:20:01,369 --> 00:20:03,372
Mr. Garrison, will you make him stop?
554
00:20:03,373 --> 00:20:06,678
I don't... I don't even
understand what's happening.
555
00:20:06,679 --> 00:20:08,816
This is the reason why our
living rooms are dying!
556
00:20:08,817 --> 00:20:11,253
This is the reason our
living rooms are dying!
557
00:20:11,254 --> 00:20:12,890
So we've got to do something.
558
00:20:12,891 --> 00:20:14,226
Eric Cartman's commenter window
559
00:20:14,227 --> 00:20:16,030
to the principal's office, please.
560
00:20:16,031 --> 00:20:18,434
Eric Cartman's commenter window
to the principal's office.
561
00:20:18,435 --> 00:20:20,305
What the hell did I do?
562
00:20:20,306 --> 00:20:22,776
Eric, I've had a lot of complaints
563
00:20:22,777 --> 00:20:25,748
that your online persona
is becoming a distraction.
564
00:20:25,749 --> 00:20:27,733
Well, this sucks. Looks like
I'm in the principal's office
565
00:20:27,734 --> 00:20:28,922
for just commenting on things.
566
00:20:28,923 --> 00:20:31,359
Eric, I am talking to you.
567
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:33,231
Adults so don't get what's cool anymore.
568
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:35,901
Sharon, Sharon!
569
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,138
Randy? What's going on?
570
00:20:37,139 --> 00:20:39,342
They made a hologram of me, Sharon.
571
00:20:39,343 --> 00:20:41,980
They don't care about the music.
They're replacing us!
572
00:20:41,981 --> 00:20:42,915
Oh, my God.
573
00:20:42,916 --> 00:20:46,756
You mean... I just slept with a hologram?
574
00:20:46,757 --> 00:20:48,259
The hologram's in our bedroom?
575
00:20:48,260 --> 00:20:49,462
Yes!
576
00:20:49,463 --> 00:20:51,165
["California Love" plays]
577
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,770
A'ight. I got to be leaving now, Sharon.
578
00:20:53,771 --> 00:20:55,173
I would leave you my number,
579
00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:57,607
but I'm just a hologram and shit.
580
00:20:58,420 --> 00:21:00,055
[Music stops]
581
00:21:00,056 --> 00:21:02,327
You slept with Tupac!
582
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:03,395
Sharon!
583
00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:07,971
It's a brave new world.
584
00:21:07,972 --> 00:21:11,210
Starting much sooner than we thought.
585
00:21:11,211 --> 00:21:12,295
What we need is someone
586
00:21:12,296 --> 00:21:14,517
who truly gets the changing of the guard.
587
00:21:14,518 --> 00:21:16,821
We have an army of holograms
588
00:21:16,822 --> 00:21:20,127
poised to start the next
chapter in American culture.
589
00:21:20,128 --> 00:21:23,267
How would you like to
be in charge of it all?
590
00:21:23,268 --> 00:21:25,037
[Chuckles] Oh, totally, brah.
591
00:21:25,038 --> 00:21:26,774
So sweet. Being in charge of stuff rules.
592
00:21:26,775 --> 00:21:28,811
Cartmanbra!
593
00:21:28,812 --> 00:21:30,281
Glad you feel that way.
594
00:21:30,282 --> 00:21:32,351
We have a lot to do together.
595
00:21:32,352 --> 00:21:35,825
We're about to take this
to a whole new level.
596
00:21:35,826 --> 00:21:37,546
Oh, I love whole new levels!
597
00:21:37,547 --> 00:21:39,031
This is gonna be so totally awesome!
598
00:21:39,032 --> 00:21:40,267
Cartmanbra!
599
00:21:40,652 --> 00:21:45,138
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.