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Previously on
Girlfriends' Guide To Divorce...
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00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:04,075
There is no book tour.
3
00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:07,516
Barnes & Noble can't sell a book
the author doesn't believe in.
4
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:09,670
I think we should take the
place across from the grove.
5
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The kids will love that.
It's $4,500 a month.
6
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I know. I know. And between
that and the mortgage...
7
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:15,271
My divorce attorney
is actually great.
8
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:16,713
Don't tell her to call Delia.
9
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Mediators are jackals.
10
00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:21,993
They prey on the idea
of "a good divorce."
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You know, if I finally
got to kiss you now,
12
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I would be the only one
that would have to be guilty.
13
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Nate, you are married,
and that makes me guilty.
14
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This card was declined too.
15
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You play to hurt, and not
just me, Spencer and Eric too.
16
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I'm gonna sue for full custody.
What?
17
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:37,272
- What's that?
- Dad gave it to me.
18
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He says one day I might
even be able to meet her.
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It's Jake's Becca.
That is Becca.
20
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,839
I think the kids are gonna
love staying at the Paradiso.
21
00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:45,512
Jake told me he signed
the lease today.
22
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I was gonna tell you
as soon as I came home.
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I just want you out today,
24
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and I suggest you hire a
lawyer, because I have.
25
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I already have.
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Ripped By mstoll
27
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Oh, shit!
28
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Sugar! Sugar!
29
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Hey.
Dad!
30
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Mommy just said, "Shit."
31
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Really?
No, I did not.
32
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I said, "Sugar."
33
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Because of the window
that you said you would fix.
34
00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:21,516
Mmm-hmm.
Lilly, Dad's here.
35
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Are we going to
your new place now?
36
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No, we're going to school
now, and then tonight,
37
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that is when the
adventure begins.
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Did you get the Xbox hooked up?
39
00:01:30,440 --> 00:01:32,192
Did I get the Xbox hooked up?
40
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Does Superman fly?
Whoa.
41
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Does Spider-Man
do Spider-Man-y things?
42
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:37,789
Okay.
Yes.
43
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Hey, superhero,
seriously, the window.
44
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It almost took my finger off.
45
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You said you'd fix it.
46
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I've been a little busy,
you know, moving.
47
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Can we get Lilly please?
48
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Dad's here.
49
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,553
Just tell me why.
50
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:53,713
Why what? Why your divorce
has to ruin my life.
51
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Hey.
Good morning, sunshine.
52
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She wanted to go to a kickback
today with some friends.
53
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A kick-what?
54
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I don't know.
55
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Okay, well, she can do that
any night of the week,
56
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but tonight, she's
gonna be having fun.
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She's gonna be having so much fun that
you guys'll wish you had less fun.
58
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,799
Right?
Right.
59
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:20,359
Okay. Go find
your sister.
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So what are you doing
tonight that's so much fun?
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Hookers and blow, obviously.
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Obviously.
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Becca Riley's not coming over,
if that's what you're asking.
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I... Well, you know, we just
had an agreement, and...
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Yes, I know the rules.
66
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Don't try to buy
the kids' affections.
67
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Don't trash the other person.
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No meeting significant others till
they're actually significant.
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00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,394
I got it.
70
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,075
And what about the window?
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00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,151
Yeah, you should fix that
before you lose a finger.
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Oh, my God, I just found a finger.
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00:02:53,680 --> 00:02:54,669
What a dick move.
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00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:56,113
Yeah.
Just fix the damn window.
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00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:59,749
Now, having said that, let me speak
to the advantages of power tools.
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Don't say anything.
Okay.
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Go to Home Depot.
Thank you.
78
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You're welcome.
Get a drill.
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Use it.
It won't make you a lesbian,
80
00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:05,869
and if it did,
so much the better.
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00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:06,995
She is definitely not a lesbian.
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00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,354
- We have covered that.
- Shh.
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00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:09,555
Shh. Shh. Shh.
84
00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:12,598
Well, I'm just glad that Jake
has finally moved out of the house.
85
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I don't have to deal with his
snotty little side glances
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and listen to him chewing his little
Kashi cereal like a farm animal.
87
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Or the sweet smell
of man-gas in the morning.
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That's my favorite.
89
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,554
Or the sound of breathing.
90
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:25,953
Just general breathing.
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00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:29,949
He's gone.
I'm free.
92
00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:31,439
So what about Nate?
93
00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:32,555
Married Nate?
94
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,834
Is he still trying
to get with you?
95
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,478
I think I sufficiently
scared him off.
96
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,834
Here's something.
97
00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:41,833
This afternoon, I shall be dazzling
potential client, Barry Juck.
98
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,235
Wait. Juck,
producer Juck?
99
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,072
Mmm-hmm.
Might have had sex with him
100
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:46,513
in the photo booth at the SoHo.
101
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:47,874
Terrible movies.
God, his movies are awful.
102
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,871
Terrible.
What is it, Monster Mash?
103
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,632
Actually, Master Monster Six is coming out.
Master Monster.
104
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:52,709
Horrible.
Oh, my God.
105
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,917
And then, tears of
joy, story time.
106
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,035
What?
Oh!
107
00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,519
Are you volunteering at school?
Hmm-mmm.
108
00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,669
That's... That is a first.
109
00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:01,518
Dan is going
for primary custody,
110
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so I need to put in some serious
face time with the kids,
111
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,395
and I'm gonna like it, damn it.
112
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Maybe you will like it.
113
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,956
Have we met?
Lyla Straley.
114
00:04:11,400 --> 00:04:14,551
No, I like my kids, but I think
that might be a genetic trick.
115
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The rest are vermin.
116
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No offense.
117
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None taken.
118
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So check it out.
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Thank you.
You're welcome.
120
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Holy high tit job.
121
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Danna Brooks grew a pair.
122
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Dr. Marber.
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00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:32,472
You say that name one more time,
and honestly, knuckle supper.
124
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,073
I know.
So high.
125
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No, I can't. I can't have it.
I'm just saying.
126
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What are you doing
when they're that high?
127
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:37,709
Where is Max, by the way?
128
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,314
I don't know. I'm texting him
now. "Max, where are you?"
129
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,152
Wait, wait, so what
did you end up going with?
130
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:45,596
Oh, uh, I went
Star Wars comforter,
131
00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,557
but Spider-Man sheets.
132
00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:48,789
I like it.
Yeah.
133
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:52,555
Charlie gets to sleep in the perfect
movie he'll never see, Spider-Wars.
134
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The cable is hooked up.
I got the Wi-Fi hooked up.
135
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:56,029
I got the Xbox hooked up.
136
00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:57,792
I got power bars for Lilly.
137
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,990
And I got the waffle
maker for Charlie.
138
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:02,115
Oh, panic buy.
139
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,918
You know what? They got
all that stuff at home.
140
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,035
At Abby's, okay?
141
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,439
I want there to be
some touchstones, you know?
142
00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:07,509
The comforts of home.
143
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:08,794
You make me
want to puke!
144
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:10,472
- Jesus, what the hell is that?
- Are you serious?
145
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:12,758
I just can't stand you.
Acting class.
146
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,149
It's a little noisy during the
day, quiets down around midnight.
147
00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,389
Nick, 36.
148
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,038
Oh, hey, Jake, 31.
149
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,348
How you doing?
This is Max.
150
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:20,714
Pleasure.
151
00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:24,315
Hey, you two ever looking to score any
coke-cialis, or whatnot, I'm your guy.
152
00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:28,153
Thanks.
Hoo-ah!
153
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,753
I can't stand here
looking at you!
154
00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:30,875
He seems lovely.
155
00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:31,995
Yeah.
156
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:33,672
Oh.
157
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,191
Oh, crap. Oh.
158
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,840
It's Abby. I told her that I would
meet her for coffee after drop-off.
159
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:40,911
I think I said "might." Might.
Just might be there.
160
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,513
Answer it, dude.
I don't want to lie to her.
161
00:05:43,280 --> 00:05:44,633
Then don't answer it.
162
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,388
I can't Ignore her.
163
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,596
Dude, you know what? Just stop being
a pussy and tell her the truth.
164
00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,272
We're friends, and you're
not gonna pick sides
165
00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:52,476
just 'cause she's your sister.
She'll understand that.
166
00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:55,388
Right, what am I talking about?
167
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,948
Okay, continue to be a pussy
until we figure it out, okay?
168
00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:01,195
Do you want us
to come over later?
169
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,840
First night without the kids
can be a little bit weird.
170
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:05,035
Oh.
Or a little devastating.
171
00:06:05,120 --> 00:06:06,155
Could be a little devastating.
172
00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:09,198
No, I'm actually looking forward
to a little bit of me time.
173
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,269
Are you?
Yeah.
174
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:11,759
What does
that entail?
175
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:15,230
That means I'm gonna go to
my book editor, Melissa,
176
00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:16,514
and toss around some book ideas,
177
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,592
and go home, soak in the tub,
drink a glass of wine,
178
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,591
get back on the writing horse.
179
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,514
If things go south,
I will call you, I promise.
180
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,159
Love you, Abby.
I love you guys.
181
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Keep your phone charged.
182
00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,395
Yup, I know.
183
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,675
Whitney.
184
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:41,349
What's going on?
Where is everybody?
185
00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:42,475
I was just about to call you.
186
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:43,993
They, uh, they moved
the Juck meeting to 2:00.
187
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,069
They? Who they?
Who they?
188
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,390
Delia. I told her you weren't
available until after 3:00.
189
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,038
No, it's okay.
It's okay.
190
00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:53,033
Hey.
Okay. I'll see you there.
191
00:06:53,120 --> 00:06:54,109
All right, bye-bye.
192
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,714
As you know, associates
don't reschedule meetings
193
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:58,119
without clearance
from all the partners.
194
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,430
True, but whales trump partners.
195
00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:01,755
Juck needed to move the meeting.
196
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:02,875
Did he?
Mmm-hmm.
197
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,518
To the one time I had to be
at my children's school?
198
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,272
I know, it is a shame.
199
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:07,873
But your kids come first.
I get that.
200
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,075
Mmm-hmm.
201
00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:10,912
Lyla, can you
believe this woman?
202
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,877
Our fabulous rainmaker.
203
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,871
I mean, come on,
Barry freaking Juck here.
204
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,150
Two million in billables
for Loeb & Loeb last year,
205
00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,835
and he is primed to jump ship because I got
him sole custody of his dog in his divorce.
206
00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,558
Great work, Delia.
Thank you.
207
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:27,553
Partnership is but a stone's throw
away for this lady, right, Lyla?
208
00:07:27,640 --> 00:07:29,517
Women supporting women,
that's what it's all about.
209
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,591
You bet.
Hillary 2016.
210
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,434
Have fun at school.
211
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,308
Mmm.
212
00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,639
Hi, it's me.
213
00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,429
I am terribly sorry,
but I need a huge favor.
214
00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:48,551
Okay, one,
215
00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,915
Girlfriends' Guide
To The Terrible Teens.
216
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,109
Two, Girlfriends' Guide...
217
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,272
To Working Out While Working It.
218
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:03,068
Three, Girlfriends' Guide
219
00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:07,790
To Working Moms Working It Out,
220
00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:11,719
but that one's not as catchy.
221
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:12,869
Is... Hello?
222
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,869
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
Just... Just go on. Go on.
223
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,837
Okay, so I have this whole
weekend carved out.
224
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,876
I just need to figure out which
titles you want me to focus on.
225
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:21,712
Abby, can I...
Can I be honest here?
226
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,235
Yeah.
227
00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:24,514
It's not about the titles.
228
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,670
Your book sales are way down.
229
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,791
"Way down."
What does that mean?
230
00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:33,111
On Amazon, you're selling
just below, Why Cats Paint.
231
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,311
You've lost your street cred
in the Mommy Wars.
232
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:38,479
I'm sorry, but we think the
Girlfriends' Guide franchise is dead.
233
00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:40,709
Dead?
234
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,037
Uh, Jesus.
235
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:50,278
Well, this isn't exactly the meeting
that I was expecting to have, Melissa.
236
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,475
Missy.
237
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:54,635
Missy.
238
00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,791
I am the sole
breadwinner in my house.
239
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,916
There's no
other source of income,
240
00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,400
so I need to
figure out something.
241
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:10,276
Well, the team here has a
very exciting idea for you.
242
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,395
Okay.
243
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:15,874
How do you feel about menopause?
244
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,359
Oh, okay.
245
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,312
Thank you.
What's this?
246
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:01,515
Enjoy.
247
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:15,754
"A little 'me time' gift basket
from your Phoebe Godmother."
248
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,349
"The Jimmee Lightning Rod."
249
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,873
Jimmee.
250
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:28,873
Jeez.
251
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:57,393
So what
do you think?
252
00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:58,829
It's cute, right?
253
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:00,353
Yeah.
I mean...
254
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,870
Throw some artwork on the walls.
Yeah.
255
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,757
Put down a rug or two.
256
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,238
Of course, we have
to christen the place.
257
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:08,874
Christen?
Mmm-hmm.
258
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,029
Did you forget?
259
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:11,519
I'm a full Jew, lady.
260
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:16,919
Okay, wait.
Wait, wait.
261
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,719
Oh, your mouth is saying, "Wait," but
it is feeling very, "Go" down here.
262
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:20,789
I know. I know.
I got to... Okay.
263
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,074
I got to unpack
before I pick up the kids.
264
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:23,195
Come on.
265
00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,475
I'm just so anxious.
266
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,154
I mean, Abby has home court
advantage, literally.
267
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,834
The kids grew up there.
I want them to...
268
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:33,148
I want them to
want to be here, too.
269
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:34,639
Of course you do.
270
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,795
I could bring over
some fonuts later.
271
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,119
We could play
charades or something.
272
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,035
Too soon?
273
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:49,757
Just thought I'd offer.
I totally get it.
274
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:51,432
Thank you for understanding.
275
00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:54,117
I do have something
for the anxiety though.
276
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:55,792
Yeah, yeah, I can't take pills.
277
00:11:55,880 --> 00:11:57,313
They make me feel
like I know how to dance.
278
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,118
I had a bad
prom experience.
279
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,389
I'm talking about
a more holistic approach,
280
00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,436
redirecting that nervous energy.
281
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:05,509
Mmm.
282
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,629
Barry Juck, our
senior partner, Al Wilcox.
283
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,438
Al, the animal.
284
00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:18,794
I heard you were the shit, man.
285
00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:20,472
Barry Juck, I think your
films are the shit.
286
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:21,834
Thanks for coming.
Forgive me.
287
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:23,239
Forgive me,
I'm so sorry I'm late.
288
00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:25,595
Everybody, Barry, Lyla Straley.
289
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:29,150
We met at the Arianna Huffington
Save the Dolphins benefit last year.
290
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:32,710
Right. You outbid Clooney for
the puppy in the live auction.
291
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,789
You were pretty intense there.
292
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,632
Well, why should Clooney win, right?
293
00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:37,119
Anyway, forgive my lateness.
294
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,031
We are all so
excited that you're here.
295
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,951
So maybe we should start.
Absolutely.
296
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,075
Great. Let's.
Have a seat.
297
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,913
What happened to story time?
298
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,712
Your bullshit was enough fiction
for me, and I took care of it.
299
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:51,233
Ladies, hello?
Yes. Hi.
300
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:59,356
Spencer's mom, Ms. Straley, sent
me to read to the children.
301
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,829
I'm sorry, but story time
is supposed to be a chance
302
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,559
for the parent
to interact with the class.
303
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,675
Mama.
304
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,475
Amazing, right? I mean, great
Chinese food right next door.
305
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:42,759
Lilly, could you
pass that Moo Shu?
306
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,197
Lills?
My God.
307
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,998
Jade and Savannah
are with Xander and Vinnie.
308
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,354
I can't believe
I'm missing this.
309
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:52,155
Look, I was
thinking for tonight,
310
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,516
this place has a huge gym,
a huge pool, and a hot tub.
311
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,589
Ew.
312
00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,079
Who knows what's
gone on in there?
313
00:13:58,160 --> 00:13:59,149
Like what?
314
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:00,832
Nothing. Lilly.
315
00:14:02,320 --> 00:14:04,197
I'm full.
I'm gonna go play Xbox.
316
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,079
Or if you wanted to go out,
317
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,196
Charlie, I was thinking
we could go bowling,
318
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,472
or we could play Monopoly.
Lame.
319
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:13,872
Dad, I can't log in.
320
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:14,949
Okay.
321
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,076
I'm supposed to be playing
with Zach and Chu right now.
322
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,279
Let me see.
323
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,231
They're at Hollywood
and Highland.
324
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,719
Jade's all over Xander.
325
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:25,951
This is killing me.
I'm literally dead.
326
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:27,109
Shut your piehole.
327
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,235
Shut your piehole, ass munch.
328
00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,594
Hey, hey, hey.
You guys, language.
329
00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:32,239
Dad?
What's going on?
330
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,117
Oh, there's... They're just
playing make-believe.
331
00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:35,838
There's an acting class
next door, okay?
332
00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:37,558
You know, you promised
we'd have internet.
333
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:39,392
I know.
I'm doing the best I can.
334
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,152
Great night, Dad.
Thanks a lot.
335
00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:42,468
Stella!
336
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:44,309
Quiet!
337
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:45,869
Sorry.
338
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,030
Let's go do it.
Let's go do it.
339
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,069
All right.
340
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:21,792
I got the lamb
and you got the chicken.
341
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:22,949
Oh, we're
gonna switch.
342
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:24,109
It looks like it's
gonna be good.
343
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,235
Yeah, we'll switch
halfway through.
344
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:26,833
When was the last time we came here?
345
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,273
Ah, it's date night.
346
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,349
You said no phones.
347
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,431
Well, because when your
phone rings, the crisis is,
348
00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,397
I don't know, about your
ad campaign for pop chips,
349
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,630
but when my phone rings,
it might be the sitter.
350
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:36,869
Screw the sitter.
351
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:37,949
This is our time.
352
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:40,470
If the house is on fire,
you'll never forgive yourself.
353
00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:41,959
Bitch.
354
00:15:44,320 --> 00:15:45,992
It's Jake.
That's wonderful.
355
00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:47,115
Call him in the morning.
356
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:48,349
Well, he's having a rough
time with the kids.
357
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,668
His first night
at the new place.
358
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:51,318
And he wants you to come over?
359
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:53,469
No.
360
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,389
Max, my love, you need
to stay out of this.
361
00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:57,469
She's your sister.
362
00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,755
But he was my friend first.
363
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:02,035
Am I just supposed to pretend
that relationship didn't exist?
364
00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:05,078
No, of course not, but look, right
now everyone is really raw.
365
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,230
Nothing good can come from
getting involved in this,
366
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:09,470
not for Jake, not for your
sister, and not for you.
367
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,357
You're right.
You're right.
368
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:12,555
Of course I'm right.
369
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,074
Gentlemen, can I get you
another bottle of the cab?
370
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:16,389
Maybe a Shiraz this time.
371
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,799
You got it.
Thank you.
372
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,752
The internet was
working this morning,
373
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:22,068
but now it says,
374
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,435
"4935 fail."
375
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:25,794
No, I don't know
what that means.
376
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:27,552
It means my
friends are at Topshop,
377
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:29,153
and I'm here
at the fun-pocalypse.
378
00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,832
They're playing
without me.
379
00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,194
Sweetie, I know.
I know. I'm trying.
380
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:33,395
My child's crying.
381
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,629
What?
Yes, I'm sorry.
382
00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,073
You just got a text
from Becca Riley.
383
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,195
Sweetie, give me the phone.
384
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:39,554
"How's it going?" From Becca Riley.
Lilly.
385
00:16:39,640 --> 00:16:40,629
Lilly, hey.
386
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,119
Lilly, watch it.
387
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,069
Yes.
388
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,149
You should invite her over.
389
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,229
No, that's not happening.
390
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,799
Please? You would
make my life.
391
00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,233
No, sweetie. No!
Please?
392
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,355
Stop it.
393
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,271
No, not you.
Dad.
394
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,157
I'm not stupid.
I know she's your girlfriend.
395
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:57,949
Please?
396
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,637
What would
Dr. Marber do?
397
00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:05,155
Oh, yeah.
398
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:16,280
...is it 4,000 pounds?
399
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:20,555
I'm enjoying a relationship
with two men simultaneously,
400
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,677
the first called Ben,
the other, Jerry.
401
00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,629
Number of current
boyfriends, zero.
402
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,510
Number of calls
from ex-boyfriend...
403
00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,713
You have absolutely no messages.
404
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,312
Lyla, it's me, Abby.
405
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,038
Um...
406
00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:42,270
You were right.
I'm really not good.
407
00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:47,232
Can you just bring
Phoebe and you and...
408
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:51,038
I'm just not good.
409
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,039
Fix the goddamn window.
410
00:18:01,120 --> 00:18:02,678
How hard is it
411
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:04,318
to fix the goddamn window?
412
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,115
Oh!
413
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,315
Oh!
414
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,389
Shit!
415
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:18,755
Help?
416
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:22,115
Okay, stay calm.
Okay.
417
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,428
Just another minute.
418
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:24,589
Oh, my God.
Just take it easy.
419
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:25,829
Oh, my God.
420
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,194
I got stuck.
421
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,316
I yelled until the
neighbors called 911.
422
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,311
I have to take a photo.
Come on.
423
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,389
Don't you dare.
424
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:33,629
Oh, my gosh.
Pull.
425
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:35,835
Oh.
Oh, oh, oh...
426
00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:37,638
Oh, my goodness.
427
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:40,031
Can you move them?
Any wounds?
428
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,678
Just my pride.
429
00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:43,113
Thank you, Wayne.
Thank you.
430
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:44,269
Best call I've had all week.
431
00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:45,828
Thank you, Wayne.
Thank you.
432
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:46,955
There's the front door,
433
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,076
if you could shut it because we
left it open. So embarrassing.
434
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:50,798
Some salve for your wounds?
435
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,519
How horrible.
Oh, my God.
436
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,113
Oh, my gosh.
437
00:18:56,640 --> 00:18:58,392
The cavalry arrives in a Prius.
438
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,153
You guys, I'd like to introduce
you to my friend Becca.
439
00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:02,798
Charlie, Becca. Becca, Charlie.
Hey, Charlie.
440
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:03,915
Hi.
This is Lilly.
441
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,797
Hey.
Lilly, nice to meet you.
442
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,836
She's a really big
Blood Sisters fan.
443
00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,672
Huge. Um, seriously,
444
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:13,673
last week when you stabbed Sebastian after
he kissed you and stole your life force?
445
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,398
I did not see that coming.
446
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,516
Oh, my God, nobody did.
My twitter feed blew up.
447
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,272
Thank you so much
for the poster, by the way.
448
00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:21,078
I love it so much.
Of course.
449
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,237
Maybe we should go out
and do something fun.
450
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,436
Yeah. You guys ever
been to Lucky Strike?
451
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,277
Um, bowling?
Yeah, I love bowling.
452
00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:33,589
I do too.
453
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,155
Great.
454
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,070
Hey, hey, sorry it took
so long to get back to you.
455
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,593
Have the animals
eaten the zookeeper?
456
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,717
Uh, no, I got it under control.
457
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,356
Oh, that's great.
How'd you pull that off?
458
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,509
Oh!
459
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:53,919
So close!
460
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,115
I'll take it.
461
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,952
Jake, what's all that
noise in the background?
462
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,871
Dad, it's your turn.
Okay, I'll be right there.
463
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,075
Okay. Ready?
464
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:01,559
Max, I did a bad thing.
465
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,279
Charlie and Lilly
are bowling with Becca Riley.
466
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:06,272
Jake, that's nuclear.
467
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,953
You... I got to go.
468
00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,756
Really?
Sneaking phone calls?
469
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:12,558
A little juvenile,
don't you think?
470
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:13,789
Only a little.
471
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,029
You finished now?
Yes.
472
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:17,270
Jake's got it under control.
They're bowling with Becca Riley.
473
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,239
Becca Riley?
Yeah.
474
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:21,470
You know Blood Sisters
is my favorite show.
475
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:22,669
So?
476
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,752
Oh, my God.
You incredible hypocrite.
477
00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:28,875
You...
478
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:31,838
This vodka's not working.
479
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,960
Hoping for redemption yet
480
00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,996
careening down a shame spiral?
481
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:38,115
Yes.
482
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,156
It'll work. You just have
to drink through it.
483
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,437
My ex-husband's
girlfriend
484
00:20:43,520 --> 00:20:45,636
is plastered on
my daughter's wall.
485
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,597
My brand is dead.
486
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,749
No.
No.
487
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:49,829
I have no more ideas.
No, no, no.
488
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,114
My career is over.
No.
489
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:52,315
No.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
490
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,516
You are gonna write something
new, something better.
491
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,431
You just have to
give yourself a break.
492
00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,158
I have a book idea.
493
00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,834
10 reasons to hate Delia Banai,
494
00:21:00,920 --> 00:21:02,876
and I have 74 just
off the top of my head.
495
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:04,678
Lyla, we are not
bashing Delia tonight.
496
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,512
I'm a muse.
She has writer's block.
497
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:07,589
Right?
Ah...
498
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,438
Ha. I figured it out.
499
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,239
And I put an app on your
phone so you can control it.
500
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,993
Whatever happened to two
fingers and your imagination?
501
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,553
No.
I know, I know...
502
00:21:19,640 --> 00:21:21,551
The bushwhack setting's
a little Aggro I get it.
503
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,392
No, no, no,
no, no. No, no.
504
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:25,916
What?
Look what Lilly posted on Instagram.
505
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,319
Is that Becca Riley?
506
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:31,119
And Max and Lilly...
507
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,233
Doing karaoke.
508
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,074
Hey, hey, hey, hey
509
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,070
Ooh, oh
510
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:43,754
Whoa...
511
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:49,637
So a Porsche, a divorce, and
a girlfriend half your age.
512
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,757
You're checking off all the
boxes for midlife crisis.
513
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:55,116
She is 61.63% of my age,
for the record.
514
00:21:55,920 --> 00:21:57,194
You actually did the Math?
Yeah, I did.
515
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,236
Tell me your troubles and doubts
516
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:03,719
You realize you're
gonna pay for this.
517
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:05,548
Big time.
518
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:07,312
I mean, we don't have to tell.
519
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:10,430
I'm just saying, what she
doesn't know won't hurt her.
520
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,160
You expect Charlie
and Lilly to also not tell?
521
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:15,232
We got Annie Leibovitz
up there with the camera,
522
00:22:15,320 --> 00:22:17,959
and the kid with the ice cream
isn't exactly CIA material.
523
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:22,598
Who puts a heart over an I?
524
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:25,553
A 10-year-old
and Jake's girlfriend.
525
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:30,197
Seriously, he promised that
she would not be coming over.
526
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:32,314
The lying prick.
527
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,951
I'm smoking in my daughter's bedroom.
Oh, my God.
528
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:39,429
This is like Bad Parenting 101!
529
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:40,669
Shh, shh.
530
00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,637
God, take it. Take it.
Shh.
531
00:22:44,800 --> 00:22:46,552
This is lacking, you know?
532
00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:47,709
It's... It's wanting.
533
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:49,438
It's been scrubbed of humanity.
534
00:22:49,520 --> 00:22:51,192
I don't know if it's
Photoshop, or...
535
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:53,396
Or the fact that she's 10.
536
00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,232
Whatever it is,
537
00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,271
will you restore the humanity?
538
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:08,596
Rain keeps falling
539
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:10,875
Rain keeps falling down
540
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,394
Dad, check it.
I've got, like, 400 likes on Instagram.
541
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:14,879
That's, like,
basically impossible.
542
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,029
Amazing.
543
00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:18,153
Hey, hey, hey
544
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:19,912
Wait, did you post it
to Instagram?
545
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,032
Ooh, oh Oh, no, no, no.
546
00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:25,874
Abby liked it.
547
00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,439
At the top.
That one.
548
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:29,913
Come one, Charlie.
549
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,672
You got it.
You got it.
550
00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:34,757
Do you feel better?
I mean, I...
551
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,198
I don't know.
I'm a feminist,
552
00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:39,999
and it's not Becca's fault
553
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,594
that Jake is a midlife cliche.
554
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,358
Yes, I... I do actually
feel much better.
555
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,914
You should, because
we've empowered her.
556
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:51,069
We've given her a gift.
557
00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:54,357
I mean, the kid is only
10, and she is, like...
558
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,839
She's got a little more heft.
559
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,035
She says, "Yes, I am.
560
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,599
"Yes, I am."
561
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,676
When Lilly sees it,
she's gonna lose her mind.
562
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:07,394
Oh, my God.
563
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:10,748
What have I done?
564
00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,838
She's wearing a black
halter and black shorts,
565
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,273
and she's holding a stake.
566
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,235
No, no, not a meat steak.
567
00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:29,958
No, it has to be season two.
568
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,950
No? Okay,
thank you anyway. Bye.
569
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,029
They don't have it.
570
00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,873
Oh, my God, I am so high...
571
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,394
...which was fun, but now is not.
572
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:40,879
That store on La Brea is closed.
573
00:24:40,960 --> 00:24:42,075
Okay, no, no, no, no.
574
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:43,354
Please don't close.
Don't close.
575
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,635
We will be there
in five minutes.
576
00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,800
There is one more at a store
on Hollywood Boulevard.
577
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:49,915
Omar, take a left on lvar.
578
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,035
Do it!
Go!
579
00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:52,473
To Hollywood Boulevard!
580
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:56,313
What possible story
would cover you and us
581
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,876
and karaoke with Becca Riley?
582
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,110
Coincidence.
I decided to take the kids out,
583
00:25:01,200 --> 00:25:02,713
and we ran into you guys.
584
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,669
And then we just happened
to run into Becca?
585
00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:07,591
Okay, she might buy
it if you back me up.
586
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,750
Dude, I'm trying to
bail myself out here.
587
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,273
I've been caught
consorting with the enemy.
588
00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:12,634
The enemy?
589
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,313
That's ridiculous.
590
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,549
Jake, she's my sister.
591
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:17,198
And I have to divorce you, too?
592
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:18,554
I can't afford another lawyer.
593
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,950
Hey, the sitter just texted me.
The kids are waiting up.
594
00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,075
We should go.
595
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:24,798
Jake, she's lovely.
596
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,313
Mmm, love you.
Come on.
597
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:28,794
Okay. Here we go.
598
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:29,949
Ah!
599
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,514
Abby's life going down
the toilet, take one.
600
00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,310
Does this donut
make me look blonde?
601
00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,231
Oh, my God, give me a
bite of that right now.
602
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,159
Mmm.
So good.
603
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:45,471
Nate.
I thought you backed him up.
604
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:48,358
I did back him up, but he's
launching a major charm attack,
605
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,829
which I'm not gonna go for
because he's married.
606
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:51,955
Mmm.
Ta-da!
607
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,349
Oh, my God, is that it?
608
00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:57,074
This is it, mama.
609
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,196
Thank you, Phoebe Godmother.
610
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:01,192
Where would I be without you?
611
00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:03,714
Well, you'd probably be doing
something nasty with that paramedic.
612
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,154
What language is that?
613
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,755
What?
614
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,592
Oh, no.
So close.
615
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:14,676
I think you just
need to lie to Lilly.
616
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,035
Just lie to Lilly.
617
00:26:16,120 --> 00:26:17,792
Just tell her
that there was a leak,
618
00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:20,189
and that the poster got ruined.
619
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,110
Oh. Um, Omar?
620
00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:28,837
The Kogi truck stops at the Yogurtland
on Hollywood in 10 minutes.
621
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,078
I'm such a terrible mother.
622
00:26:31,160 --> 00:26:32,752
Mmm-mmm. No.
623
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,388
I should just check
Lilly into Promises now.
624
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:36,674
Come on.
625
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,239
We're going to
the land of yogurt.
626
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:39,355
Be of good cheer.
627
00:26:39,440 --> 00:26:40,998
She's never gonna forgive me.
628
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:42,115
She will forgive you.
629
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,872
I didn't want to play this card.
630
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:46,669
What card?
631
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:50,238
Delia used to represent the executive
producer of Blood Sisters.
632
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:51,389
They're super tight.
What?
633
00:26:51,480 --> 00:26:53,038
I'm guessing he can
get us a poster.
634
00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:54,394
What?
I'm sorry. I know.
635
00:26:54,480 --> 00:26:55,708
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Call Delia.
636
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,109
No, please don't make me.
She will own me.
637
00:26:58,200 --> 00:26:59,633
She will hold it over me.
638
00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:02,428
Guilt, duty, obligation.
Please don't make me call.
639
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:03,635
Lyla.
It's like a Wookiee life debt.
640
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:04,789
You have to.
Please.
641
00:27:04,880 --> 00:27:06,359
I know. I know.
642
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,113
I realize it's a lot to ask at
this late hour, believe me.
643
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,760
I don't want to be asking it,
but it's not for me.
644
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,068
Hey, hey, hey,
what are you doing?
645
00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:14,195
Hey, stop, stop, stop.
646
00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:15,998
Obviously, generally speaking,
we don't have a bond.
647
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:17,308
You are incredible.
We don't have a bond.
648
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:19,152
Delia. Hi, can you
make it happen?
649
00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:22,389
Really?
650
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,552
Oh, my God, you are our
knight in shining Armani.
651
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,119
We love you.
Thank you.
652
00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,269
Oh, my God.
Bye.
653
00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:29,429
Oh, my God.
She's so great.
654
00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,238
She's going to meet us
with the poster in 20 minutes.
655
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:32,514
How does she do that?
20 minutes.
656
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:33,953
How does she do it?
I don't know.
657
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:35,519
Thank you so much.
Oh.
658
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:36,874
Thank you.
I love you.
659
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,188
Why are you thanking her?
660
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:39,429
Can you believe this?
661
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:40,555
I want.
662
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:43,958
I would have killed for a night alone
in my house when I was married,
663
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,600
and now that I get it,
I fell apart.
664
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:48,359
Of course.
Oh, my God.
665
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:50,237
Because it's a
different kind of alone.
666
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:51,992
Now you're alone.
667
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:54,155
Alone.
668
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,039
Is that supposed
to make me feel better?
669
00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:57,189
Did it?
No.
670
00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:58,349
No.
671
00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:01,712
I think it was, like, eight months
into my divorce that I realized
672
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,152
maybe I'm not incredibly horny.
673
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:09,589
Maybe I just sleep with these
people on my free nights
674
00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:11,033
because I want the company.
675
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,713
That's so crazy, right?
676
00:28:12,800 --> 00:28:13,835
Yeah.
677
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:16,752
No, you're incredibly
horny, honey.
678
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:17,875
I know I am.
679
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:19,188
I am incredibly horny.
680
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:20,713
Yeah.
I'm horny right now.
681
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,274
Morning, ladies.
682
00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:36,429
Hi.
683
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,035
Mwah.
684
00:28:39,240 --> 00:28:40,468
Hi, gorgeous.
685
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,914
Oh, Lyla.
686
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,555
You've got 1,000 bucks worth
of cocaine on your chest,
687
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,198
or you're getting it
on with Mr. Donut.
688
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,836
Delia, thank you so much for interrupting
what was probably an awesome evening.
689
00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:53,319
No problem.
690
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:54,833
Prince showed up
at Downey's party,
691
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,878
and you know, I love the little
guy, but he just takes over.
692
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,159
So ready to go.
693
00:29:00,480 --> 00:29:01,708
I have something for you.
694
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:07,670
Is this what you
were looking for?
695
00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,035
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
696
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,717
Yes, oh, my God.
Thank you so much.
697
00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:15,358
Mwah.
Thank... You have no idea.
698
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:16,429
Thank you so much.
699
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,193
Never let it be said I did not
go the extra mile for a client.
700
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,195
Or a friend.
701
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:24,232
Aw.
702
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,477
Is it in English?
Thank you, Delia.
703
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:35,830
And so the great poster-capade
comes to a close.
704
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:37,952
Call us if you
need anything, all right?
705
00:29:38,320 --> 00:29:39,753
Bye.
Bye.
706
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:41,595
Come here.
707
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:43,995
Hmm...
708
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,390
You are a great mom.
709
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,270
It's all gonna be okay.
710
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:54,634
Yup. Thank you.
I know.
711
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:56,999
Okay.
Bye.
712
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,149
Bye.
713
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:05,195
Shit.
714
00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,312
Oh, what is it?
715
00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:32,831
How is this all gonna be okay?
716
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,113
Hi.
Hi, Mom.
717
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:51,351
Hi, hi.
718
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:53,195
Did you have fun?
719
00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:55,999
You were right, Mom.
Dad's place was super fun.
720
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,149
I bet it was.
721
00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,310
Seriously, Jake?
Look, it's a long story.
722
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:06,879
It shouldn't be a story.
723
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,076
You said you would tell me before
something like this happened.
724
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:10,639
Well, the kids had a great time,
725
00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:11,948
and Lilly was in heaven.
726
00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:13,189
Oh, I bet she was.
727
00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,918
She and Becca are
in the same peer group.
728
00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:16,909
We had a deal.
729
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,274
No others until
they're significant.
730
00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:19,349
Maybe she is.
731
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:21,874
Did it ever occur to you that
maybe Becca is significant to me?
732
00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:25,949
Oh.
733
00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,118
- Oh.
- Mom!
734
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:29,758
Look, we did have an
agreement, and I'm sorry.
735
00:31:29,840 --> 00:31:31,034
Where'd you get
this cool light saber?
736
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,235
That's not a light saber.
737
00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:33,639
That's Mommy's toy.
738
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,913
I thought we weren't gonna introduce
the kids to significant others.
739
00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:46,874
I'll just go.
Yeah.
740
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:48,154
Yeah.
That'd be great.
741
00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:51,709
Mom?
742
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:53,709
Yeah?
743
00:31:58,680 --> 00:31:59,715
What's up?
744
00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:01,199
Uh, do we have photo paper?
745
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:02,793
Yeah, in the office. Why?
746
00:32:02,880 --> 00:32:04,233
Look at this great shot.
747
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:05,594
I'm gonna print it
and hang it over my bed.
748
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:09,995
What about the poster?
749
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:11,475
Posters are whatever.
750
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:13,915
This shows
she's my actual friend.
751
00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,115
Really?
752
00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:16,428
My Instagram blew up last night.
753
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:17,589
It was amazing, Mom.
754
00:32:17,680 --> 00:32:20,274
And I got invited to Xander
Price's house next weekend.
755
00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:23,991
So you're just gonna
trade on Becca Riley's fame
756
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,195
so that you can be popular?
757
00:32:26,560 --> 00:32:27,595
What?
I'm just saying
758
00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:29,910
you don't want people to be friends
with you for the wrong reasons.
759
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:32,630
You're just jealous 'cause
she's so pretty and young.
760
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,795
Wow.
Hold on, there.
761
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:37,029
Dad found someone awesome.
762
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:38,917
You know why?
'Cause he's awesome.
763
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,433
So it's too bad
you kicked him out, huh?
764
00:32:40,520 --> 00:32:43,034
But it's not my fault that you're
alone and you can't handle it.
765
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:52,317
I can't believe you did
karaoke with Becca Riley.
766
00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:54,154
That's so awesome.
767
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:56,754
Trust me, someday
Lilly is gonna be like,
768
00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:57,829
"Ew.
769
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,434
"Oh, my Dad was ancient when he
was going out with Becca Riley."
770
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,317
I really screwed up
with her, Max.
771
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:04,789
Wait, you're not gonna yell at me and
tell me what a crappy brother I am?
772
00:33:04,880 --> 00:33:09,032
I totally snapped on her about
the whole Becca Riley thing.
773
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,918
You know, her being so excited?
And it's not her fault.
774
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:13,069
She's a teenager.
775
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:14,794
It's just Jake's moving on,
776
00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,512
and I need to learn
how to deal with it.
777
00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:19,192
Abs, give yourself a break.
778
00:33:19,640 --> 00:33:21,835
It just really hurt that all
of you were out, you know?
779
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,878
My kids, my brother,
all having fun without me.
780
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,076
Abs, I'm just trying to figure
out how to navigate here,
781
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:28,195
and no one sent me a map.
782
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,793
I know you and Jake go way back,
783
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:31,438
and you're allowed to have that.
784
00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,832
I just need to feel
like I have first dibs.
785
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:37,675
Abby...
786
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:40,237
Always.
It's a deal.
787
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:42,592
Deal?
Deal.
788
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,351
Don't worry about Becca with
the kids, 'cause she is great.
789
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,317
No, no, no.
790
00:33:50,400 --> 00:33:51,958
Yeah, right.
Wow, too soon.
791
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:53,712
Yep. Okay.
792
00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:57,871
I can't believe Jake
wouldn't fix the window.
793
00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,518
Right?
What a douche!
794
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:00,953
So much better.
795
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:03,479
Hi, Abby.
Hi.
796
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,630
Brutus.
797
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:07,829
Address these things.
798
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:09,990
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
799
00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:11,869
Lyla, have a seat.
800
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:12,949
Dan?
801
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:14,268
Is everything okay?
802
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:18,515
Am I in trouble?
803
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:25,915
If this is about Eric's
rolly bag, I know.
804
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,036
I know, and we've been working
on getting him to give it up
805
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:32,159
and have one that is
more "locker-friendly."
806
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:33,514
Uh, Lyla,
807
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,552
it's been brought
to my attention
808
00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:37,358
that you sent your nanny
809
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:38,869
to story time.
810
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:39,949
Yes.
811
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:42,315
Uh, unavoidable
work complication.
812
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,279
It takes a village,
right?
813
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,909
The rules in the school
handbook are very clear.
814
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,514
Parent volunteers
may not send a proxy.
815
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,115
Juanita's a very
gifted storyteller.
816
00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:55,278
I'm sure she is.
817
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,351
That's not really the point.
818
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,271
It sends a message
to the children
819
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,396
that they're not your priority.
820
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,189
Excuse me?
821
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,199
Would an apology help here?
822
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:11,478
I understand
that divorce can be a trying time,
823
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,549
so an apology...
824
00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:13,868
No, no, no, no.
825
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,349
By all means, I apologize.
826
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:18,876
I apologize for having a job.
827
00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:22,638
I'm sorry I make
a substantial income
828
00:35:22,720 --> 00:35:23,994
to pay for your
829
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,878
green-grocer, small-batch,
locally-sourced,
830
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:29,793
farm-to-table, ethically-butchered...
Lyla.
831
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:32,115
...hormone-free,
gluten-intolerant...
832
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:33,519
Lyla.
...bills.
833
00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,160
But here's the thing.
834
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,715
I don't work, my kids
don't go to school.
835
00:35:38,800 --> 00:35:41,792
So if you want to call and
tell me tuition is free,
836
00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:44,269
I'd be happy to be
here for story time
837
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,670
and arbor day and kid's
court and snack bar
838
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,389
and talent night and the
nose-picking Olympics
839
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:54,916
and every other bullshit holiday
840
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,355
that costs me a fortune.
841
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,118
But if you're not
gonna tell me it's free,
842
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:02,634
I've got to work, 'cause
I'm a working mother
843
00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:04,836
with a boatload
of mouths to feed.
844
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,476
Is there anything else
845
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,154
you'd like to discuss
pertaining to my children?
846
00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,590
Don't call me in here again.
847
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,274
Damn it.
848
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:27,309
Yes?
849
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:28,435
I know, I know, I know.
850
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:31,830
Please tell the Disney
people that I'm about to...
851
00:36:31,920 --> 00:36:34,036
I'm running late.
My morning meeting went long.
852
00:36:34,120 --> 00:36:35,235
Thank you.
853
00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:25,500
Ripped By mstoll