Daddy, it's a robber in the house!
No, no, sweetheart. I'm - I'm, er, your Auntie...
Well... I'm - I'm a friend.
Daddy! Pet, it's OK -
What's going on?
I'm sorry! Come up here, it's OK.
This is Nicola. Remember I told you about her before, Oisin's mummy?
Hello! You were at my Christmas presents.
Oh, now! I was only looking.
Do you know what we'll do? Will you open your presents?
Go for it, go on! Good girl! Go on! Good girl!
She's a... quiet little thing. Don't.
I was joking.
This Christmas is gonna be tough enough,
I don't need you making smart remarks.
I'm sorry. If you prefer, I can take myself off somewhere for the day.
You're fine, you're fine, just think before you speak, know what I mean?
What are you doing here?
Oh, hi! Er.... Well, I had a bit of a mishap.
Nicola was at the airport and er...
This is my son, Callum. Oh, hello.
How are you? This is my ex wife, Nicola.
(chuckles) You started recycling?
Nicola was due to fly out last night but she had her passport
and money stolen, so we're giving her a Christmas welcome. Got that?
Red head, black hair, and blonde, way to do the whole range, Paul.
Very funny.
Unless there's a punk with purple hair we don't know about.
You should have come in at a decent hour like your sister last night.
One life, dude.
Just go and lie down, will ya? Go on.
Merry Christmas, Poppy. New one. Nicola. Nicola.
(Paul clears throat)
Is Sophia with you?
No, it's her Dad's turn to have her this year I'm afraid.
What about Oisin?
He's skiing in Italy. So, just me.
Well, Happy Christmas. I'll help Ruth with her pressies.
Well, there be a few under the tree for you as well.
Good girl.
Callum's a bit of a wild one.
Mm... Now I wonder where he got that from?
Can I call Mammy? She's probably still asleep, love.
This is not your fault.
I know, but... they're my kids and... it kills me you know.
The first Christmas without Sophia, I just stayed in bed.
Anyway, shouldn't you call Niamh, tell her I'll be here?
I don't want to disturb her or her lover boy.
Yeah, you know what, I should go.
You've just quite enough to be dealing with -
Do you know what? It's my business who I invite to stay.
If I can play nice, so can she.
The wreath on the door is lovely.
I just wanted me da remembered today. Of course, yeah.
How are you doing? Yeah, keeping busy.
Me and Max have our Christmas when he gets back from New Zealand.
That's something to look forward to.
I wish he was here now, but sure what can you do? Too true.
Not today, OK.
Hi. Hi, love.
Did you see the wreath on the door? Yeah, that was Farrah's idea.
I know, it's gonna be a tough Christmas for her.
Any way, Happy Christmas, Da. You too, love, alright.
See you later.
Thank you.
Hey, you're not getting off that easy. What happened?
I know as much as you. Dan left.
Was it Yvonne's fault? What does it matter?
They are all grown up boys and girls, so don't you be worrying.
I'm gonna go and start the duck. See you after Mass, OK?
Yeah. See you, love.
Season's Greetings! Same to you, Cass.
Oh! I just got me Christmas wish.
Are you still looking in on that shindig Wayne is throwing?
I'm having duck with the girls at 1.00.
Throw your head in after. Might be a bit of craic.
Pity Chaz won't go.
Sitting on his own in that house on Christmas Day.
It wouldn't be so bad
if he hadn't cancelled Carol singing at the Centre.
It would have got him out of the house.
Well, I'll say a prayer for him. Never harms.
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas. You too.
How'd you get on with Juliet's present?
One Portable Infra Red Rapid Deployment Camera
sitting under the tree now.
Paid the guy a fortune for it but... Here.
I was going to give it to my cousin. It's a nail kit.
Put it with Juliet's stuff. But what about your cousin?
I've a spare hair extension set that'll keep her happy. Thanks.
So, yeah, this time next week. Vegas, baby.
Yeah. Hey, I'll put a bet on for you.
Seven's my lucky number. I remember.
Listen, I better head. Da's hanging for a rasher.
Send him my regards of the day. Sure.
Decco. Hi, Happy Christmas.
Yeah, you too.
Oh, one sec.
Hello?
Mam, you need to calm down.
Mam...
My ma's freaking about the size of the turkey.
She does this every year. It's only me, her and My Auntie Teresa.
Hello? Hello? Ma, just let me get off the phone and I'll be right...
Oh! Oh! Oh, OK, OK.
Are you OK? I'm fine.
Actually, no, it's really sore. Can you stand on it?
Ow, ow, ow. OK, OK.
Come here, sit down here. Ow.
Oh, OK.
We're gonna need to get you to A&E.
Maybe if I just put ice on it. I know a hospital job when I see it.
Oh!
Do you really have to go so soon? Come on, you know that I do.
But it's so nice and cosy in bed, isn't it?
You are a bad, bad man, do you know that?
I do my best.
Look, I hope you have a nice time later on, I really do.
It's gonna be strange.
No, that'll be you having dinner with my gran.
(CHUCKLES) The scarlet woman. I'm her first born grandson.
Load her up with rum, that's what we'll do.
Sounds like fun.
Listen, come here to me.
I just wanna... say thank you for being so understanding.
No worries.
Just fingers crossed it all goes smoothly, yeah?
It will.
(CHRISMAS MUSIC PLAYS)
Think we're stupid having dinner down here? No, no, it's fine.
You did remember to put the latch on the beer garden gate?
Relax, will you, love?
The guards have better things to do today than annoy us.
Come here. Say cheese.
No! Wayne, I've no make-up on, stop it!
You look beautiful. Look at that!
I look like I was dragged from a river. You're not posting it.
It's our first family Christmas. Later, please.
Alright, well, here, take a photograph of the Molloy boys.
Little Wayne likes to have a bottle of wine before he wakes up.
(LAUGHS) Would you stop?
You are the biggest child ever. Yeah?
OK, say Happy Christmas.
Happy Christmas.
Aw...
I'm just happy. Me too, give us a kiss.
Whoo! Whoa! Christmas morning and in front of the child!
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!
Hang on a sec, what are you wearing? I'm doing it large for the godson.
Two Santas? Are you trying to wreck his head?
He doesn't even know who Santa is.
Where did you get that? The Euro Shop, was it? Er, where else?
(CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYS)
(TURNS MUSIC OFF)
Hello! Happy Christmas!
Where's my favourite Christmas boy? I'm here.
Happy Christmas. I didn't know there was a dress code.
We're actually gonna have dinner down here.
Ooh, a pull your own pint Christmas?
No, nothing to do with that, we just needed the space. Of course.
So, if you strong lads wouldn't mind moving a few tables, please?
Don't anybody move, this is a day of rest.
(LAUGHTER) Grab this one, will you?
Hang on, my phone. Doug, he wants to give me some gifts.
After you shift tables you can do what you want.
All work with you, isn't it? Yeah, it is, come on.
So, all good then? Never better.
Ah, good.
I'm just gonna go and drop off this present for my dad, OK?
Yeah. Do you want me to go with you?
It's handing a parcel to a security guard, so... Right.
(SHUSHING)
The Sleeping Beauty has finally woken, what? I couldn't get to sleep.
That happens when you're online to your mates all night. Haha.
Happy Christmas! Happy Christmas, darling!
Oh, for me? What's this?
(LAUGHS) Look at this, brilliant.
Put it on. OK, OK.
Hey, what about me? Oh!
What did you get?
(LAUGHS) Ah, would you look? For the World's greatest Granddad.
(LAUGHTER)
Here's yours. Oh, thank you!
Bullseyes! You said they were your favourites.
Here's your stuff, look. Open it up.
Come on.
The infra red one! You can play stuff back on your laptop now.
Cool. Come on, open it up.
I don't believe it. Is this a joke?
I'm afraid your Dad's been scammed. But he showed me the working one.
Juliet, I'm really sorry. I'll get you a proper one.
It's not your fault. No, it is my fault.
Yeah, and what about the other stuff you got her? Over here, look.
The nail polish thing and the computer game you wanted.
Look in the bag, your dad got you a few surprises.
Look at this.
(CHUCKLES)
Well, do you like it? This is so Sherlock.
Well, strictly speaking only in the film version.
Yeah, well, I know how much you like your deduction stuff.
(ALL LAUGH)
You might want this. Quick, open it up!
What's it say?
A major crime has been committed. You have 24 hours to solve it.
Please read the enclosed and burn after reading.
Your dad's idea. Brilliant.
But don't literally burn it. No... Oh!
It's a robbery, gold bullion...
Hello, crime scene? Hey, Niamh, yeah, come on up.
..Chief suspects are the Gent, the FlyBoy and the Gnome.
The Gnome? (LAUGHS)
Well? Thank you so much, Dad.
It's OK. Here, go on and say hello to Niamh.
Nice one, man. Can you believe your man ripped me off?
You should go after him.
Happy Christmas! Happy Christmas!
It's some girlie stuff.
She's more into the tough detective stuff now.
Is that right, "World's Greatest Dad?"
I should be charging him with fraud. (LAUGHTER)
Two packets of double A batteries and please tell me that you have them.
I'll check.
Can you believe Santa forgot them?
Last ones. (GASPS) Fantastic! Thank you, Farrah!
There you go! Let me put them in.
I'll give you a hand.
You just made the Christmas boy very happy.
And my son is very pleased, too.
We should have asked Santa to put one under the tree for Dermot, too. Oh!
Hi, Cass! How are you? Seasons greetings. And to you too.
Would you do us a favour?
You wouldn't give Charlie a bell at some stage today?
But sure I thought he was at TJ's? He pulled out at the last minute.
Oh, no.
Just if you've a minute so at least he'll hear voices on the phone.
He's welcome to join us.
He's not seeing anybody.
Well, I won't disturb your day, it's just when I saw you coming in...
No, no, no. I'm delighted you did. Bye, Cass.
Oh, love, he wants to be on his own.
And it's only the one day.
But it's Christmas Day.
Here, love, let me help, you.
OK, so why don't we put your dad here with you and Ruth,
his two best girls, next to him.
Niamh next to you and shove me down the end here with Callum?
I think he's taken a bit of a shine to me.
Do you know something, you look more like Helen every year that passes.
So lovely. Thanks.
Ah! Well, I have a little something for you that I prepared earlier.
Drink this back, you'll be right as rain in ten minutes. No, thanks.
Pinch your nose and down in one.
Come on.
That's it.
What's in that? A secret. Trust me, ten minutes.
(COUGHS)
Hey! Well, Did you have a lovely go on your new scooter?
What's she still doing here? Don't you be so cheeky, Miss.
I told you, Nicola's staying for a little visit.
Now go on, put your helmet up. Good girl.
(CLEARS THROAT) Sorry. She doesn't pull any punches.
I'd be tempted to say she takes after her mother,
but of course I'm far too polite.
Which mother would that be? Both.
Look, I'm sorry things didn't work out between you and Niamh.
Yeah. Had things been bad?
I thought we were getting on great. Never saw it coming.
Isn't this where you say I got what I deserve?
Sure, Paul, I think we're long past that. So, would you take her back?
Not an option. But say if it were?
Ruth is not the only cheeky one in here today, is she?
Right, OK, sorry.
I'm just going to go and freshen up
then I'll get cracking on the vegetables. You don't have to.
My minted peas? Sold. Go on.
Oh! Surprise!
Nicola. Happy Christmas.
(AIR KISSES)
Doug, it's beautiful. Do you like it, yeah?
I love it.
It reminds me of one your dad gave me years ago.
For our first Valentines. Must have cost him a week's wages.
No way? Yeah.
He had it hidden in a bunch of red roses. So romantic.
My Da? Maybe I brought it out in him.
That'll be Ama.
Merry Christmas! (AMA) Merry Christmas!
Thanks.
Everything OK?
Yeah. My Dad left a present for me with the security guy.
Seeds from a plant he's been cultivating.
They come with written instructions
Plant them on a bit of wasteland. Let them grow free. Ah, I like that.
I've also got strict instructions to party like a Dillon, so...
Fair play to him. I'm gonna just... Yeah.
Here, get this into you. Cheers.
Yeah, so, er... a scarf, huh? Yeah, so?
Ah, it's nothing. Did she get you any Ovaltine?
When you're sitting in watching box sets of Last Of the Summer Wine.
Listen, that is not an old lad's present.
It totally is. You've done something I didn't think was possible.
Turned the minx that is Caoimhe into a Stepford wife.
Yeah? Well, good luck with your Ferrari driving experience,
they'll be mopping your insides by the first bend.
I don't think so. Oh, and by the way, that's me first gift.
Orla has a little surprise for me. Yeah.
In front of the young lad?
What can I say? His mother is hot.
She's upstairs getting changed into a little costume I hired for her
and when I say it's little, we're taking postage stamp here.
I might be upstairs a while.
If you want me to hold the fort, I'm your man.
Cheers to that.
Wow! (PETE AND DOLORES LAUGH)
Enough postage to send her to Australia.
That is not what I hired. Whatever jingles your bells.
They must have mixed them up in the shop.
Serves you right for having bad thoughts. Orla...
My name's not Orla, it's Mary.
Mary Christmas! Ho, ho, ho!
This way I can eat whatever I want. I'm sorted.
I guess The Molloys have officially rocked Christmas.
Yes, we have! (LAUGHS)
Doug, again. I better go. He's like a kid he's so excited.
Well, it's pretty special for him this year.
I won't be long, here, give me a kiss.
Hang on there, the Vurkey will be on that table in less than an hour.
The what? Vurkey. Vegetarian turkey.
What? Well, since we became parents,
we just don't have the heart to keep on killing living things.
It's gorgeous. Full of lentils and beans.
And spinach. Tastes just like a turkey.
Sounds good.
Pete, you better get going. OK, OK.
See you later, OK? (ALL) See you, Pete!
Good luck! Tell me you have at least a lump of ham.
It's, er, Vam. What?
Vam. (LAUGHS)
There's a turkey in the oven the size of a small child
and a ham that'd feed Finglas. We're only winding him up.
I knew that. (LAUGHTER)
You didn't! We'll give Pete the wishbone to make up for it.
The look on his face. Yours wasn't far off.
So, tell me, what did he get you?
Oh. A photographic session. One of those professional ones. Him and me.
Oh, that's lovely. Yeah. It will be.
Can I ask you a favour? Of course you can, anything.
Stop treating me with cotton gloves.
Everything worked out fine for you, it will for me too, OK? Mmm-hm.
So, let's just eat, drink and be merry, alright?
That's my girl.
TJ had no right to ring Bela.
What's wrong with people? Do they not understand the meaning of privacy?
Well, excuse us for caring about you.
From Zoe. Sweets from her Christmas stocking.
She insisted that I come here.
Yes, well, you've done your duty.
Do you hear yourself?
Zoe should be playing with her toys, not worrying about you.
Charlie, people were looking forward to those carols,
something to cheer up the whole community.
Not to mention helping out a charity.
You're not the only one who's had a rough year.
Yes, well forgive me if I'm not singing Winter Wonderland.
You think that's what Esther would have wanted? Don't even go there!
Esther was a party girl and a trooper,
she'd have wanted things to go on.
Yes, well, I don't have her spirit.
Thank Zoe for the gift.
I wanted to do that. Why?
What?
A child is for life, not just for Christmas.
Can you get off my case for one day?
So you can play Daddy make-believe
then fly off to Las bleeding Vegas on some pipe dream? I have a plan.
Oh, yeah, a millionaire by next year(!)
I don't wanna be in a lousy dead-end job the rest of me life.
Like me?
Da, it's Christmas day, why don't we both just leave it, yeah?
Until? You're onboard that plane, breaking your daughter's heart?
She... She can come over to me, get a place big enough for both of us.
(CHUCKLES) I met fellas like you my whole life,
promising their wife and kids the world and delivering nothing.
Never thought my own son would turn out that way.
I'm going to make it.
You're running away.
Just a few homemade biscuits for you and your mum.
It's so kind of both of you to have me here.
Nice one. Here, hang on. I got you something as well.
Where is it now? Doug, I didn't expect - Open it.
No, it;s grand, I wanted to. Come on. Just reef it.
Come on! What did he get you, Ama?
Oh! Traditional music from Zambia. Put it on. Let's make some noise.
Alright.
Hang on, we'll put this on.
That is so thoughtful.
That's the Ferguson boys for you.
(ZAMBIAN MUSIC PLAYS) Ah, yes!
You have to dance to that.
Oh, hang on, I'll get it.
Alright, Da? How are you?
That's for you. Nice one.
Do you call that Christmas music? Get in here and move that body.
You're all nuts, you know that?
I know, do you see my bracelet? Isn't it lovely?
Wow. Thank you. For everything.
Thanks for vouchers.
Now worries. There you go.
For me? Thank you very much.
What's this now?
Four tickets to Dublin Zoo?
I haven't been there since...
For donkey's years anyway.
Listen, here's a bottle of wine for the house and I gotta head now.
Favour? Before you go, sorry. Gravy. You know how rubbish I am.
Try having it without Christmas turkey. What?
The Molloys are having a vegetarian dinner.
(LAUGHS) Oh, poor Pete. Here, we have loads.
We won't tell if you don't. No, no, no.
Oh, come on. You know you want to. Come on!
Alright! Maybe a small plate. Right, let's get started on this gravy.
Ama, would you see if Phelan's are still open?
We need more cream. OK. Sure.
Now, would that be for, er, mashed potatoes?
It would. You know me, decadent.
Well, how are things? Weird.
Nicola should never have landed herself on top of us.
I'm not talking about just her.
Myself and your Dad are trying to do our best.
That's what I mean. Everybody's being so over the top polite.
We want you guys to have a happy Christmas. We are. Chill out.
OK. Can I have a hug?
Do you like your handbag? I love it.
It's the real thing. No knock offs for my young one.
I'm worth it. Oh, ten times over you are.
So, er, Rachel reckons that we're being too polite.
She said that? You can't win, can you?
No.
Listen, I just wanted to say that you're doing great.
I know this is hard for you.
Well, you know me, tough guy. Yeah.
Paul, did you move the candles?
Oh! I'm sorry, that was me. I do it automatically,
put everything in its right place.
Would anybody mind if I put my feet up for half an hour?
Ruth's been awake since 5.00. Of course not. Of course.
So, this must be difficult. What, you being here?
(FAKE LAUGH) Funny.
Still, at least you have your young man to go home to.
Nicola, he's not that young. Oh. Paul said 26.
Been talking about me, have we? Oh, just in passing.
Actually, for what it's worth, I really take my hat off to you.
I don't want to get into it, thank you. I mean it.
I know you wouldn't have left unless it was the real thing.
I wish you and Michael a long and a happy life together.
Why? Sorry!
It's not like you ever gave me the time of day.
Yes, well, it is the season of goodwill.
Yeah. Unless you find yourself in Dublin airport,
where you have your wallet and passport stolen.
I know, yeah, mmm-hm. Not like you to get ripped off.
Well, there were children collecting for charity.
I must have forgotten to close my bag properly after I donated.
That's a shame. Still, lucky you thought of Paul, what?
Yeah, yeah, wasn't it?
Between ourselves, I think he was really glad of the company.
Why don't you go play with Ruth
and I'll give you a call as soon as dinner's ready?
Should have got you a football instead of that fancy cologne.
Heading up to the graveyard. I like to remember Gina on the day.
Sorry for tearing the head off you. Don't worry.
I wasn't exactly a great example to you.
I never said that. Yeah, well, I did.
When your ma and I split up, I wasn't exactly hands on.
Different times. That's no excuse.
I just don't want you and Juliet to end up like...
I let you down. How?
A broken home.
You and Ma get on better now than when you were together.
I still love you, you know that? No matter what.
Back at you, yeah?
I wanna be the best possible da Juliet deserves, but I'm not.
I let everyone that cares about me down,
at least this way I... I won't.
Shouldn't that be her choice?
No, no, it's the one thing I can do for her.
Charlie, good to see you up and about.
Margie sent me on this journal.
Esther made it when she knew she was...
She was going to... It's OK.
Full of pictures of the two of us smiling.
But that's a nice thing, isn't it?
A reminder of everything I've lost, what sort of a present was that?
Better than the empty wedding album that I have.
You and Esther, you had some happy years together. Be grateful for that.
OK, the turkey is almost ready to rock and roll.
Cass just met Ama. Pete is stuffing himself in Jackie's.
Ama said you were going vegetarian. I brought a ham sandwich for meself.
We were just joking.
I don't think your mother's gonna find it funny now, is she?
We'll just have to delay it. How?
Pixie Dillon. Santa's helper.
I have checked the naughty list and you are right on the top.
Very, very, naughty. Seriously?
I know. No, I mean, yeah, disgraceful, isn't it?
Have you anything to say in your defence?
Yeah, I do, my girlfriend led me astray.
(TUTS)
I will deal with you later.
She'll get a cold in her kidneys. (LAUGHTER)
Hey, that's a postage stamp. I know, it's first class.
Hey, hey, hey! Though not as much fun as my good wife.
Yeah. And by the way I'm not wearing Bridget Jones's under here, cowboy.
I wonder what's keeping Pete? Probably just running a bit late.
Doug probably has him trapped.
Hey! (LAUGHS)
Still haven't lost it, Jackie. That's the best turkey ever.
You better not let Dolores hear you say that.
Aye! Down there for dancing, what! What?
It's an Irish expression.
Meaning? Meaning down there for dancing.
(LAUGHTER) I'm no fool.
Right.
Ama knows loads of Dublin stuff. Go on, say something.
She's not a performing flea.
(BROAD DUBLIN) Nah, it's cool, bud. Oh!
Oh, that is actually good.
(BROAD DUBLIN) Well, like I'm half Dub at this stage.
No worries. (LAUGHTER)
I just copy Doug. I don't have a mad Dublin accent.
Er... Yeah, right. Help me clear away.
Thanks. Lovely.
He found himself a good one there. Yeah, you're right.
Are you OK? Yeah.
Just such a difference to this time last year. Yeah, I know.
It was really nice having you here for the dinner.
Pleasure was all mine. But now I gotta face this vegan yoke.
(LAUGHS) You're not going? He has chickpeas to eat.
Me and Ama's gonna make Crepe Suzette.
Look at all I've eaten, I'm full to the gills.
Just stay till we light it. Doug, where's the Grand Marnier?
Oh! I'm after forgetting!
Where are we going to get alcohol on Christmas Day?
Shame we don't know anybody with access to a pub. Ah...
Look at all the trouble he's gone to.
Don't worry about it, Pete. It's not like we gave you dinner or anything!
No such thing as a free lunch. Not a hope.
I'm not promising anything. Good man.
Erm... Twenty seconds.
OK, erm... First word.
Sounds like... Yes. Shh!
(GULPS) Swallowing? No.
Choking? Eating? No!
Five seconds.
Whole thing. Yes!
Oh, I know, I know. Reservoir Dogs. Time's up.
Pulp Fiction!
Why were you doing the swallowing thing?
It was a gulp, sounds like pulp. Oh, we're gonna get that(!)
Nicola, have a go. I don't want to intrude.
Come on, a bit of craic, go on.
OK, OK.
Nothing obscure. Movie classic.
No talking. Erm...
Film. Two words.
(CALLUM AND RACHEL) First word. The!
(ALL) Second word.
Three syllables. Last two syllables.
(ALL) Paul? (NIAMH) Him?
Paul ate?
The something you ate?
Paul ate.
I have it! I have it!
The... The, erm... The Grad... The Graduate! Yes, yes, yes!
I've never even heard of that. What's it about?
Can I see you in the kitchen right now, please? Thank you very much.
Seriously? What?
The Graduate? Well, I don't follow you.
A film about an older woman seducing a younger man?
Oh, Niamh! (LAUGHING) Oh, God! I never thought, oh, I'm so sorry.
Oh, I'm sure you are.
You hardly think I did it on purpose.
You do everything on purpose.
You're being a tad paranoid there.
Why didn't you ask Paul to cover the cost of a hotel?
There was no room at the Holiday Inn. Everywhere was booked out.
You checked every hotel in Dublin? Mmm-hm.
Well, everything four star and above.
Oh, not prepared to slum it? You know me.
Yes, I do.
And I know you. So, why don't I make us all some nice hot chocolate.
Hi Charlie. Hello.
Hello Zoe, hello, Benjamin.
Thank you for the sweets. I gave you all the purple ones.
You're very generous. Did you eat them?
No, no, I'm saving them for later. I'm sorry I wasn't very nice.
That's OK.
Charlie, we're heading home for dinner. Ben made a lovely dessert.
Loads of chocolate and cream. What do you say?
Thanks, but I'm taking up Bela's invite.
So, you'll be with friends?
That's right, but thank you all the same.
Well, enjoy your day, Charlie. See you, Charlie.
I'll get it!
Ruth's shop is very expensive, she wants a fiver for this lot.
And I give her the money straight up.
Her daddy's daughter, huh?
I'm looking for Niamh. Oh, Michael. Hi.
Oh, Michael! Oh, God, sorry!
I thought it was one of Callum's friends.
Er, we're late. Gotta go.
Yeah, I just had to buy a few things from Ruth's shop, I promised.
No problem. Come in when you're waiting, come on in.
Visitor. Alright?
Will you have a drop of something? No, I'm driving, thanks.
I've made hot chocolate. Yeah, OK, sure.
Lovely. I'm Nicola by the way.
The first Mrs Brennan.
Bela, Cass is already in there. Great. Good, yeah.
Hey, Charlie, Happy Christmas, are you coming in?
No, no, I... Got a better offer? Come on in.
You're not supposed to touch that until after your dinner.
You sound like my mother.
And I never listened to her either.
She texted me by the way. Oh?
It's all good. We get on better long distance.
Here, look who I found wandering the streets. Charlie, welcome.
Damien, set another plate, please. Yeah, of course, give us a hand.
No, no, I'm not stopping. Go on.
No, no, I don't want anything.
Here, get into the spirit of things.
Can you stop acting the eejit for once?
Come on, we'll have a nice quiet pint.
I'm sorry, I... Enjoy your day.
You're not going? I just dropped in to wish you all well.
Enjoy yourselves.
I could kick myself. What did you do?
The stupid hat.
If it wasn't that, it'd be something else. He wasn't staying.
We'll call over after. He doesn't want us to.
Well, tough.
He can't be holding everyone up. I'm gonna call him.
Ma, you gonna call him on this? Orla, we're gonna have to tell her.
Ma, Pete's in Jackie's getting his turkey.
He's what? You're not to kill him,
it was Wayne's vegetarian joke, so...
Hang on, you all went along with me.
Well, if he wants turkey that much,
let's make sure he has enough to do him till next Christmas.
Hi, I'm really sorry. No problem.
We were nearly sending out the huskies.
Look, Doug was looking for a bottle of Gran Marnier for his dessert.
Would you have some? Should do.
Hang on, I'll get this for you. Thanks.
You're not really going back? I'm only gonna be two minutes.
Doug is being a bit cheeky. Pete, you must be starving.
Yeah, but, he's stuck.
You know Doug, he's showing off in front of his mother and Ama.
Well, I think you are being very rude to Wayne and Orla.
Yeah, I know. I understand. No, Ma, it's OK.
There you go, Pete. Thanks.
Before you go, if you could get stuck into that starter.
Then we can all plough ahead while you drop that off.
Orla's went to a lot of trouble, so I want to see a clean plate.
Yeah, course. Yeah, sure. Great.
So, er, that wasn't awkward at all, was it? I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry about Nicola, too. She's some piece of work, alright.
Say that again. Her and Paul, really?
Yeah, she saw him as climbing the social ladder.
Right. And then you went and stole him off her?
Yeah, what can I tell you? I'm irresistible.
We better go.
Yeah, yeah, of course.
Erm, we're... we're gonna head.
OK. Thank you, Paul, really.
Yeah, it turned out OK, didn't it? Oh, you're leaving now, yeah?
Yeah. Yes, we are. It's been such fun(!)
Everybody say goodbye to Niamh. (ALL SAY BYE)
You forgot your messages. I forgot my messages, thank you.
And your change. I get change?
Where did you get that from? My new handbag.
Well... Aren't you a clever girl?
Niamh, you were just leaving?
Oh, no, I think we can stay another couple of minutes.
Nicola, I think you owe me an explanation.
Yeah, a nice big one.
Callum, Rachel...
No, no, it's fine. They're going to find out anyway.
My fiance, Clar and I... Clar?
Yes, Niamh, it's short for Clarence. (SNIGGERS)
We had a difference of opinion at the airport. You had a row?
No, not really. He just decided he didn't want to marry me.
Very inconvenient, we were on our way to Italy for our wedding.
He dumped you? Then flew off to enjoy the Adriatic.
I'm sorry, Paul. It felt a little less painful to say I'd been robbed.
I've got to get back. Dolores was none too pleased. Sorry.
No, hang on, wait, Da, I just want you to see this.
Right, OK.
It's meant to light up.
Maybe use more Gran Marnier? There's half a bottle on it.
Look, I have to go, lads, OK? This is stupid.
Hang on, I know, I know. I really do have to get back.
Of course you do, I know. It was great to have you.
Thanks. Alright.
(DOUG SHOUTS) Doug, are you alright?
Er, it looked great.
I don't see why it took two of youse to borrow some liver salts.
I came to keep him company. That's what friends do.
You couldn't be more obvious if you had a banner on your head.
And what would that say?
I won't keep youse.
What do you think Bela, this banner?
Would it say poor Charlie? Don't go upsetting Charlie?
Charlie will never be the same. I just want to be left alone.
Well, it's not all about you, you know.
I failed my young wife.
Bela lost his Rita. There was no second chances for us, not like you.
The love of two good women. You want me to count my blessings?
Damn right.
You can keep your tough love rubbish, I'm alright on my own.
Well, maybe we're not, did you ever think about that?
We're sorry for your loss, but we need our buddy. Our door is open.
Yeah. And you don't need to make up any excuses to call.
You didn't really think I was just going to get you a boring scarf?
Hey, I like the scarf. But the pixie, I love the pixie.
Love? Yeah.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(CHEERING) I'm so sorry.
Hey, you finished? Oh, well, look, don't worry about me.
The starter was loads, but I'm sure your vegetarian turkey was...
As if we wouldn't have turkey on Christmas. Ta-da!
You were joking? You were giving him a hard time about the cooking.
So tuck in. Yeah, go for it.
Make sure you eat every last bit, or you'll have 12 months bad luck.
That's true actually. Looks good.
Here, Wayne, poor me a glass of wine, love?
Sure thanks very much. You're very welcome.
Hey, John. The door was open.
Pete, I said to pull it after you. Come in. Have a drink.
On Christmas Day in a public house? He's not trying to sell it.
Under the Licensing Act...
And under the Jingle Bells act,
I am arresting you on account of being a sour puss Scrooge.
Anything to say, Officer?
Finish up and lock the door after me.
John. Thank you, look, and here's a cracker. Happy Christmas, OK?
Happy Christmas. (ALL) Happy Christmas!
Lock the door. We will!
I thought he was going to arrest us all.
I thought he was gonna pass out. The pixie saved the day.
Yay! She did!
Well, lucky Clar. He dodged that bullet.
That's not very nice. Yeah, it's Christmas, Niamh.
I didn't...
That woman could fall down a sewer and come up smelling of roses.
What do you care? I... I don't.
Niamh has a vibe with her. I do not have a vibe with her.
She has a princessy thing. That's totally a vibe.
Excuse me, your father is upstairs dealing with her emotional baggage.
If that's not attention seeking I don't know what is.
It's not her fault Ruth found her money in the bag.
Oh, please, she left it in the hall. Yeah, well, I feel sorry for her.
She totally hijacked our family Christmas.
Because you won't stop talking about her. Excuse me?
Hey. Erm...
I want to apologise for bringing my troubles into your family day.
It was the last thing I wanted to do.
We'll leave it at that then, yeah? Thanks.
Well, well, I'll go upstairs and finish my book.
We were going to watch Elf in the den. It's really funny.
Oh, right, well are you sure? Sure.
Coming? Yeah, sure.
Oh, God. So sweet, thank you.
Well, see you again, Michael. See you.
Niamh.
What has just happened? We're leaving anyway.
Paul, don't let her take advantage.
The day that's in it, I'll let that one go.
Thanks for the drink, Paul.
Like I say, the day that's in it.
I'm fine.
I've been told to bring the chocolates and you.
Thank you.
Come on!
Come on, sit down.
Hello, Zoe. Oh, hi.
Did you get that for Christmas? Yeah. It's got 300 songs on it.
That little thing? I was listening to my Dad's favourite.
Piano Man, Billy Joel. His favourite song?
My Dad used to play the piano. Do you remember him playing?
Yeah, and if I close my eyes I can hear him sometimes.
It makes me happy. I really miss my dad and my ma.
I know they don't want me to be sad.
Oh, no, no.
I don't think Esther wants you to be sad.
I think she'd give me a right telling off.
You know, I proposed to Esther right on this bandstand. Really?
Yeah. And we waltzed,
we had no music, except in our heads. Oh, we were so happy.
Show me.
(COUNTS OUT WALTZ TIMES)
♪ Play us a song You're the piano man
♪ Play us a song tonight
♪ We're in the mood for a melody
♪ Cos you've got us feeling alright ♪
(LAUGHS)
The loot is in the... bathroom! In your opinion.
It so is! Come on!
I, er, was thinking about what you said. About not having any regrets.
This mean you changed your mind?
No. She's deserves the best and that's not me. Mondo.
You were right, Deegan's only met her
and gave her a better Christmas than I did.
No, I'll tell her tomorrow.
I found the gold.
The young lady is a born detective.
Best Christmas ever, Dad.
(CHUCKLES) They're beautiful. Happy Christmas.
And many happy returns!
Come on, Christmas Carols, come one, come all!
(RINGS BELL) Christmas Carols, ho, ho, ho!
(RINGS BELL) Christmas Carols! Christmas Carols!
Come one, come all!
Christmas Carols!
She didn't mean it. Kind of hard to misuse the term cradle snatcher.
She didn't mean you to hear it then. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she did.
That's just the way my nan is. As my mam always says well named.
Rose. Sweet to look at, but watch out for the thorns.
I think there's some still stuck in my back.
Sorry. Oh, don't worry about it.
I had Eoghan singing Seven Drunken Nights to take my mind off it.
Well, every family has its Christmas traditions.
Yeah. What's ours? Radiant Charm.
A new cocktail I created for you. Oh, God. Listen.
Radiant because that's what your name means and what you totally are.
Oh, yeah(!)
And charm because... it was the luckiest day of my life
when you walked into that bar.
I love you. I love you, too.
I'll go and mix a couple. OK.
You did it. No, We did it.
High five. High five!
Are you ready to start the singing? Yeah.
Will you join in? Only the chorus.
OK. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, she's a great little trooper. She's a gift, Charlie.
Yes.
You knew? Oh, yes.
From when? Ama mentioned something to Cass
who mentioned something to me.
Don't be giving out, it's your own fault for two timing me.
Aren't you the man who said he couldn't get enough turkey?
(LAUGHTER)
You're all very funny. Bah, humbug. Let's go, see you later, Ma.
He really did think he was just getting a few lentils.
And Doug was delighted having him at the table.
Maybe next year you'll all come. Maybe.
I'd love that. And sorry for accidentally stealing him.
Ah, sure, don't I have him every day of the year.
(DECCO CHUCKLES)
The state of me. You look great.
You're the sweetest. Giving up your Christmas day.
No big deal. All that time in A&E?
You're officially my mam's favourite person.
Fair play to her for bringing turkey sambos.
You pulling the cracker with the old lad with the broken nose.
And the security guard, yeah.
Anyway thank you, Declan.
Come on, the carols are happening, we need as many voices we can get.
Great.
What happened?
Stiletto injury. Can we sing Santa Baby? Come on!
Drop it, Da. She's my daughter.
And so am I. Fuss over me instead. But...
After these carols we're going straight over to ours,
and you are spoiling me rotten for the rest of the day. Am I then?
Or I'm taking back that cardigan. I'd like to see you try.
Mum put money into my account for a treat. Yeah?
So I was thinking we could go to Funderland next week.
Well... That'd be lovely.
At least let the kid have her day.
Any word from Dan? No. You?
All that grief and here's the pair of us alone for another Christmas.
Both losers. Speak for yourself.
Actually, don't speak to me at all.
Yvonne, even in the trenches they had a cease fire for Christmas.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Ooh, now, come here. Don't want you catching a cold.
There you go. Nicola?
Yeah. Paul found her under the Christmas Tree.
Right. Happy Christmas, everyone! (ALL) Merry Christmas.
May God bless us all.
Zoe, will you lead the singing? Good girl.
No, no, I'm grand.
(SINGS SILENT NIGHT IN IRISH)
(ALL JOIN IN)
♪ Silent night
♪ Holy night
♪ All is calm
♪ All is bright
♪ Round yon virgin, mother and child
♪ Holy infant so tender and mild
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace
♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪
by BTI Studios