1
00:00:17,031 --> 00:00:19,039
("Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
plays)
2
00:00:19,064 --> 00:00:20,951
(beer can pops open)
DEE: Oh, yeah.
3
00:00:20,973 --> 00:00:24,078
These are going down
real smooth now.
4
00:00:24,093 --> 00:00:27,070
MAC: Dee, slow down. You're
on pace to drink 130 beers.
5
00:00:27,077 --> 00:00:29,225
FRANK: Don't ruin
this for me, Deandra.
6
00:00:29,233 --> 00:00:32,142
This could be the last chance I got
to do something great in my life.
7
00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:34,822
You jerks are just all mad
'cause I'm gonna be the one
8
00:00:34,847 --> 00:00:37,808
to shatter Boss
Hogg's drinking record.
9
00:00:37,821 --> 00:00:41,735
DENNIS: Dee, Boss Hogg was a big, fat
redneck from The Dukes of Hazzard.
10
00:00:41,751 --> 00:00:43,767
Wade Boggs is a Hall
of Fame third baseman.
11
00:00:43,792 --> 00:00:47,276
CHARLIE: Yeah, it's Wade Boggs's drinking
record, okay? The man's a legend.
12
00:00:47,291 --> 00:00:49,363
He drank 50 beers on
a cross-country flight
13
00:00:49,388 --> 00:00:52,287
and then absolutely destroyed the Seattle
Mariners the next day, okay?
14
00:00:52,294 --> 00:00:55,831
That's why we're doing this, to honor
his memory, okay? May he rest in peace.
15
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,535
First off, Wade Boggs
is very much alive.
16
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,271
Secondly, the number of beers
is actually highly disputed.
17
00:01:01,296 --> 00:01:05,804
Some say 50, some teammates said
60, some said as many as 70 beers.
18
00:01:05,812 --> 00:01:08,932
Which, to be honest, is an absolutely
insane amount of beer.
19
00:01:08,957 --> 00:01:10,153
Nobody can drink
that much.
20
00:01:10,168 --> 00:01:11,816
FRANK: Not with
an attitude like that.
21
00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:14,436
Perhaps we're taking this a
little bit too seriously?
22
00:01:14,459 --> 00:01:16,870
Absolutely we're not, okay?
The man is a legend.
23
00:01:16,893 --> 00:01:18,166
That's why we're doing
this, all right?
24
00:01:18,173 --> 00:01:20,597
To honor his memory.
Rest in peace, Wade.
25
00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,859
Again, he is still alive.
26
00:01:23,379 --> 00:01:33,379
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
27
00:01:49,624 --> 00:01:52,406
Always sticking me
with the nerds.
28
00:01:52,421 --> 00:01:54,087
(call button chimes)
29
00:01:54,632 --> 00:01:55,483
Yes, ma'am?
30
00:01:55,505 --> 00:01:57,767
Uh, actually, I can, uh,
handle this one.
31
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,152
We'll be sharing the in-flight
call system today.
32
00:02:00,167 --> 00:02:02,038
- Excuse me?
- Oh, sorry, let me explain.
33
00:02:02,051 --> 00:02:04,118
We're doing a Wade
Boggs-type thing,
34
00:02:04,126 --> 00:02:06,931
and that makes me sort of
the Commissioner Bud Selig of the group.
35
00:02:06,949 --> 00:02:08,426
Oh, you're
the commissioner now?
36
00:02:08,450 --> 00:02:11,606
Well, somebody's gotta keep the game
fair and everybody invested, okay, Dee?
37
00:02:11,614 --> 00:02:15,091
He didn't win the chugging contest.
Two more beers, please.
38
00:02:15,105 --> 00:02:16,653
Actually, ma'am, we're
about to take off,
39
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:19,295
- so we're gonna need you
to stow your tray table. - Yay.
40
00:02:19,310 --> 00:02:20,763
- Let me take that and throw it
out for you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41
00:02:20,785 --> 00:02:23,519
Yeah, but just give me a second.
Okay? Just give me a second?
42
00:02:25,924 --> 00:02:26,799
- There you go.
- Great.
43
00:02:26,806 --> 00:02:29,062
(Dee belches)
Hold on. Hold on.
44
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,759
Ugh! Ouch!
45
00:02:36,774 --> 00:02:40,217
- It's... really cold.
- Damn, Dee...
46
00:02:40,242 --> 00:02:41,077
(Dee belches)
47
00:02:41,102 --> 00:02:44,288
Oh, God. You really have
to slow down a little bit.
48
00:02:44,313 --> 00:02:47,581
("Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
plays)
49
00:02:58,274 --> 00:02:59,584
Can I get you
something to drink?
50
00:02:59,590 --> 00:03:01,965
Yeah, I'll just get
a beer, please.
51
00:03:02,376 --> 00:03:03,706
(whispering): Hey, Frank.
52
00:03:03,731 --> 00:03:05,551
I'm a little concerned about
this frat boy over here.
53
00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:07,803
There's only so many
beers on the flight.
54
00:03:07,828 --> 00:03:09,156
I'll take care of him.
55
00:03:09,178 --> 00:03:10,975
- For you, sir?
- Excuse me, miss?
56
00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,506
- Mm-hmm.
- Um, actually, yeah...
57
00:03:12,531 --> 00:03:14,945
how many beers are we
allowed to order at once?
58
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,488
I'm not sure. No one has
ever asked that before.
59
00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:19,247
Okay, great, so
there's no rule on that.
60
00:03:19,272 --> 00:03:21,311
Uh, why don't you give
me six, then, please?
61
00:03:21,336 --> 00:03:23,129
How about you make
it an even dozen?
62
00:03:23,154 --> 00:03:26,201
How about I start you with two apiece
and then we just take it from there?
63
00:03:26,216 --> 00:03:28,695
Sure, if you want to be lugging beers
back and forth the entire flight.
64
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,337
I guess that's,
uh, up to you.
65
00:03:30,361 --> 00:03:33,712
I'll be taking care of everybody
on the Boggs account.
66
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:37,548
Oh, and by the way,
do you sell condoms?
67
00:03:37,571 --> 00:03:39,828
- No, I'm afraid we don't.
- Aw...
68
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:42,586
- Yeah. - I'll have to figure
something else out.
69
00:03:42,611 --> 00:03:44,978
- Got it.
- Thank you so much.
70
00:03:44,999 --> 00:03:46,859
Hey... Frank.
71
00:03:46,882 --> 00:03:49,531
Mmm? What's with
the condom thing?
72
00:03:49,546 --> 00:03:52,398
You think the Boggs record is
the only one I'm going for?
73
00:03:52,413 --> 00:03:57,327
I'm gonna become the first-ever
member of the Air Sex Society.
74
00:03:57,352 --> 00:03:59,119
Okay. What is that?
75
00:03:59,134 --> 00:04:03,097
That means I'm gonna be plowing somebody
in the bathroom before this plane lands.
76
00:04:03,122 --> 00:04:04,674
Right, but do you think
you just made that up?
77
00:04:04,699 --> 00:04:07,136
Because that's already a thing.
It's called the Mile High Club.
78
00:04:07,161 --> 00:04:08,983
People have been doing it since
planes have been around.
79
00:04:09,008 --> 00:04:10,469
That name sucks.
80
00:04:10,491 --> 00:04:11,906
I'll tell you
what, though.
81
00:04:11,931 --> 00:04:13,658
I will make you a bet
82
00:04:13,683 --> 00:04:15,816
that I plow somebody
on this fight,
83
00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:19,292
somewhere other than the bathroom,
before we hit the Great Lakes.
84
00:04:19,778 --> 00:04:20,989
- I'll take that bet.
- Yeah?
85
00:04:21,005 --> 00:04:22,329
Whoa, whoa.
86
00:04:22,354 --> 00:04:24,596
Did I hear you guys talking about a bet?
There's no betting, okay?
87
00:04:24,611 --> 00:04:26,205
That compromises
the integrity of the game.
88
00:04:26,212 --> 00:04:28,463
It's got nothing to do
with the Wade Boggs thing.
89
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,670
It doesn't matter,
okay, guys?
90
00:04:29,695 --> 00:04:32,444
That's a rule, and as commissioner,
you have to obey me.
91
00:04:32,469 --> 00:04:33,805
Right, Commissioner.
92
00:04:33,820 --> 00:04:35,297
Go get me another beer.
93
00:04:35,322 --> 00:04:37,190
Okay, I will, but... not
because you told me to,
94
00:04:37,215 --> 00:04:40,246
- but because I'm commissioner
and that's my job. - Yeah.
95
00:04:43,711 --> 00:04:44,734
You're on.
96
00:04:44,759 --> 00:04:47,935
♪ ♪
97
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,473
(Dee snoring)
98
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,235
Pathetic.
99
00:04:53,237 --> 00:04:58,700
29... beers.
100
00:04:58,725 --> 00:05:00,169
(call button chimes)
101
00:05:00,764 --> 00:05:02,577
- How can I help you?
- Hmm? Oh.
102
00:05:02,599 --> 00:05:03,439
Hey-oh!
103
00:05:03,464 --> 00:05:05,402
- This is my guy.
- Yeah.
104
00:05:05,417 --> 00:05:07,539
- Hey, I got a couple more for you,
bud, so just grab 'em. - Oh, great.
105
00:05:07,554 --> 00:05:10,742
Actually, while you're here, could
I have a rum and Coke, please?
106
00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:12,764
Uh, oh, uh... hold
on one second.
107
00:05:12,789 --> 00:05:14,310
It's a beer-drinking
contest, Charlie.
108
00:05:14,335 --> 00:05:16,437
No, that's cool, I'm still doing
the Boggs thing, but you know what?
109
00:05:16,444 --> 00:05:18,617
A stiff cocktail would go good
with my chicken, so...
110
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,171
Why are you filling
up with chicken?
111
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,592
Do you know anything
about Wade Boggs?
112
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,455
The man ate a chicken before
every game, all right?
113
00:05:23,470 --> 00:05:25,037
That's why they called
him the Chicken Man.
114
00:05:25,060 --> 00:05:27,010
Man batted .328 lifetime.
115
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,418
I'm sure he ate some rum and Cokes,
too, all right? (chuckles)
116
00:05:29,425 --> 00:05:31,479
You just said "ate rum and Cokes."
You're getting a little buzzed.
117
00:05:31,504 --> 00:05:33,752
- You shouldn't be drinking hard alcohol.
- No, I said one rum and Coke.
118
00:05:33,776 --> 00:05:36,041
Just one, please.
Make it a double, though.
119
00:05:36,057 --> 00:05:37,506
Hey-oh!
120
00:05:37,531 --> 00:05:39,633
♪ Mama needs ♪
♪ another pop, pop ♪
121
00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:41,703
♪ Hey, pop, soda pop, soda pop, ♪
♪ soda pop, soda pop, nah... ♪
122
00:05:41,718 --> 00:05:42,888
What are you doing?
123
00:05:42,913 --> 00:05:45,015
Why are you dancing
around like a jackass?
124
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,876
Wade Boggs would roll in his grave
if he could see your behavior.
125
00:05:47,891 --> 00:05:49,891
- Wade Boggs is alive.
- Huh?
126
00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:52,396
He lives in Tampa, Florida.
He's in his early 50s.
127
00:05:52,404 --> 00:05:54,829
And you... where did you come from?
You were just passed out two minutes ago.
128
00:05:54,852 --> 00:05:58,313
I know it, I was, and then I
popped a couple of these babies.
129
00:05:58,325 --> 00:06:01,576
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What the hell are those, Dee?
130
00:06:01,598 --> 00:06:05,125
Greenies. Uppers. Vftt! Feel
like I got a rocket up my ass.
131
00:06:05,150 --> 00:06:07,549
These guys find out that you're
taking performance-enhancing drugs,
132
00:06:07,563 --> 00:06:11,024
- the integrity of the game is completely
compromised, all right? - Shit.
133
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,413
As the Bud Selig
of the group,
134
00:06:12,438 --> 00:06:16,016
it's my job to quietly sweep this under
the rug before anybody finds out.
135
00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:17,239
You know, Commissioner,
you just...
136
00:06:17,264 --> 00:06:19,280
- you kind of just lost
the chugging contest... - Go.
137
00:06:19,305 --> 00:06:22,211
("Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
plays)
138
00:06:24,921 --> 00:06:26,366
Hey!
139
00:06:26,915 --> 00:06:29,822
You know, I actually went
to school at the same college,
140
00:06:29,847 --> 00:06:31,753
your alma mater, in 1966.
141
00:06:31,778 --> 00:06:33,507
- Yeah?
- Yeah, here, have a beer, huh?
142
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:35,732
- It's like... Yeah, yeah, good, yeah.
- Oh, that's nice of you.
143
00:06:35,757 --> 00:06:37,407
Drink up.
144
00:06:38,492 --> 00:06:42,336
- Frank? Did you just buy frat boy a beer?
- Don't worry about it.
145
00:06:42,359 --> 00:06:44,164
I laced it with
sleeping pills.
146
00:06:44,189 --> 00:06:46,386
He's gonna be out like
a light in two minutes.
147
00:06:46,401 --> 00:06:48,117
That is some diabolical shit, dude.
148
00:06:48,142 --> 00:06:49,413
- Ow...!
- (Dennis laughs)
149
00:06:49,436 --> 00:06:51,241
So what's going on
with the sex moves?
150
00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:53,664
I've been laying chum
up and down this plane.
151
00:06:53,689 --> 00:06:56,978
Yeah, I-I know. I've noticed.
Yeah, I've got my prey picked out.
152
00:06:56,985 --> 00:06:58,900
I'm just waiting for
the right moment to pounce.
153
00:06:58,925 --> 00:07:02,071
What are you talking about? You haven't
moved an inch. You're just drinking.
154
00:07:02,096 --> 00:07:03,629
- Oh, is that what you think?
- Mm-hmm.
155
00:07:03,636 --> 00:07:07,171
Frank, of the 206 passengers on
this flight, 98 of them are women,
156
00:07:07,186 --> 00:07:11,739
but only one of them is a
suitable candidate: 44G.
157
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:16,508
Notice how she glances forlornly
at the empty seat next to her.
158
00:07:16,950 --> 00:07:19,317
It was meant for
someone special.
159
00:07:19,332 --> 00:07:22,440
And the tan line on her
ring finger suggests
160
00:07:22,465 --> 00:07:25,688
the wound is still fresh,
leaving her vulnerable.
161
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:28,156
Furthermore, when we hit
turbulence earlier, she giggled,
162
00:07:28,171 --> 00:07:30,627
telling me she's a bit
of a thrill seeker.
163
00:07:31,287 --> 00:07:33,881
You think she offed the guy
and went on the run?
164
00:07:33,895 --> 00:07:36,309
Pretty tough to lay low
in a dress like that.
165
00:07:37,079 --> 00:07:39,892
Granted, it's not a particularly
remarkable garment.
166
00:07:39,907 --> 00:07:42,915
It's from the J.Crew
Spring 2012 collection.
167
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,785
Although, it is a bit
much for an airplane.
168
00:07:45,807 --> 00:07:48,580
Furthermore, if she were standing,
you'd notice she's got no panty line,
169
00:07:48,596 --> 00:07:50,947
giving me about five extra
seconds to enter her
170
00:07:50,962 --> 00:07:55,318
swiftly before she realizes I am
not the answer to her problems.
171
00:07:55,341 --> 00:07:57,265
(laughs)
172
00:07:58,384 --> 00:08:03,551
I'll tell you my tastes lie
a little bit more in 39F.
173
00:08:04,481 --> 00:08:05,658
No.
174
00:08:05,988 --> 00:08:09,937
No, thank you, Frank. No, her blouse
is covered in cigarette burns.
175
00:08:09,962 --> 00:08:13,868
And I imagine underneath that blouse,
you'll find copious amounts of road rash,
176
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:17,620
probably sustained in some
sort of off-roading accident,
177
00:08:17,645 --> 00:08:19,207
which would also
explain her limp.
178
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:22,178
Although, something tells
me the two are unrelated.
179
00:08:22,203 --> 00:08:24,284
Either way, she's North Dakota
trash through and through
180
00:08:24,308 --> 00:08:26,701
and far beneath a gentleman
such as myself.
181
00:08:27,718 --> 00:08:28,843
Uh, miss?
182
00:08:28,858 --> 00:08:30,406
Six more beers.
183
00:08:35,738 --> 00:08:37,059
(groans)
184
00:08:37,067 --> 00:08:37,848
Hey-oh!
185
00:08:37,864 --> 00:08:41,723
- Ah, there we go. Yeah.
- Hey, listen, Charlie?
186
00:08:41,745 --> 00:08:46,998
- Yeah. - I need you to start
a McGwire/Sosa-like rivalry with Dee.
187
00:08:47,462 --> 00:08:50,042
Look, I think you're getting, like,
too worked up about this thing.
188
00:08:50,058 --> 00:08:51,660
Can we just drink the beer
and hang out, you know?
189
00:08:51,670 --> 00:08:54,303
Well, here-here's the thing. The game seems
to be getting a little bit off the rails.
190
00:08:54,323 --> 00:08:55,757
Frank and Dennis are
super distracted
191
00:08:55,782 --> 00:08:57,626
and Dee is kind of just
running away with it.
192
00:08:57,651 --> 00:09:00,405
Boggsy didn't drink six gallons of beer
because he was obsessed with, like,
193
00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:02,508
breaking some record.
You know what I mean?
194
00:09:02,523 --> 00:09:06,115
He did it 'cause he was just,
like, thirsty, you know?
195
00:09:06,137 --> 00:09:07,716
And looking
to pass the time.
196
00:09:07,741 --> 00:09:12,168
Yeah, but I can sell a rivalry, all right?
What I can't sell is... 27 beers.
197
00:09:12,183 --> 00:09:14,925
What-what am I gonna do with 27 beers?
Who-who cares about 27 beers?
198
00:09:14,948 --> 00:09:16,520
We're not selling
anything.
199
00:09:16,545 --> 00:09:18,619
Like, I think you're taking
the commissioner thing way...
200
00:09:18,644 --> 00:09:19,941
Look, you lost
the chugging contest, man.
201
00:09:19,956 --> 00:09:22,008
- It's not a big deal. - Why did you
make me Bud Selig if you didn't...?
202
00:09:22,023 --> 00:09:23,537
Nobody did. You just
started saying that.
203
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:26,128
Look, I got empties for you.
Just take those and don't, like,
204
00:09:26,144 --> 00:09:27,558
put so much pressure on
yourself over...
205
00:09:27,574 --> 00:09:32,270
Attention, passengers. This is
your captain, Boss Hogg, speaking.
206
00:09:32,295 --> 00:09:35,528
And this cold slice of heaven is
my 40th beer of the afternoon.
207
00:09:35,553 --> 00:09:39,423
So any of you dicknips think you
can slug it down faster than me,
208
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:43,097
- you're welcome to get your fat asses
up here to try. Uh-uh! - Yeah, no.
209
00:09:43,112 --> 00:09:43,915
- Uh-uh!
- Put your...
210
00:09:43,940 --> 00:09:45,301
- Uh-uh!
- Oh, I'm gonna need that.
211
00:09:45,324 --> 00:09:47,635
- Ah, you... whatever.
- Okay.
212
00:09:48,317 --> 00:09:50,575
The Boggs group is cut off.
(Mac groans)
213
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,809
What? Aw, dude.
That's not good.
214
00:09:52,831 --> 00:09:54,205
- I can't stop drinking now.
- Damn it!
215
00:09:54,228 --> 00:09:57,897
- I'll probably die, dude.
- I'm running low, too. Shit.
216
00:09:57,921 --> 00:10:00,514
Okay, luckily
I came prepared.
217
00:10:00,539 --> 00:10:01,500
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
218
00:10:01,515 --> 00:10:04,702
Charlie, we're not on
a wide-body DC-10 for nothing.
219
00:10:04,727 --> 00:10:06,919
Right. We bought tickets.
220
00:10:07,381 --> 00:10:10,158
Well, yes, but we chose
a wide-body DC-10 on purpose.
221
00:10:10,181 --> 00:10:11,904
- That's what I was...
- To get up in the sky.
222
00:10:11,918 --> 00:10:13,810
Let me walk you
through it.
223
00:10:13,835 --> 00:10:16,616
I got a hundred extra beers
in a checked bag, okay?
224
00:10:16,641 --> 00:10:20,157
Now, according to movies like
Executive Decision and Passenger 57,
225
00:10:20,182 --> 00:10:22,151
there is a secret
hatch on every plane
226
00:10:22,176 --> 00:10:24,787
that allows me to travel freely
throughout the aircraft.
227
00:10:24,812 --> 00:10:26,094
Well, everybody
knows that.
228
00:10:26,109 --> 00:10:29,315
Yeah, so I just got to find my
right time to get down there.
229
00:10:30,476 --> 00:10:32,710
- I think you can probably go, like,
anytime, yeah. - Or just do it...
230
00:10:32,718 --> 00:10:35,761
- just right now, right? Okay, yeah. - This
stewardess is, like, not on the ball.
231
00:10:35,784 --> 00:10:37,948
("Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
plays)
232
00:10:44,829 --> 00:10:45,940
- Oh!
- Hey-oh!
233
00:10:45,954 --> 00:10:47,884
- Geez.
- Why isn't the door locked, Frank?
234
00:10:47,907 --> 00:10:49,011
I'm posting up.
235
00:10:49,036 --> 00:10:51,635
Half the battle is getting them
to follow you to the bathroom.
236
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:53,074
This way, I'm sitting here.
237
00:10:53,089 --> 00:10:54,887
It's like lambs
to the slaughter.
238
00:10:54,902 --> 00:10:57,623
Aah! What's happening
to me?!
239
00:10:57,637 --> 00:10:58,537
(passengers gasp)
240
00:10:58,552 --> 00:11:00,693
Some-Something is wrong.
241
00:11:01,451 --> 00:11:05,232
Ladies and gentlemen, if there's a doctor
on board, please press your call button.
242
00:11:06,725 --> 00:11:08,961
Dude, how many sleeping pills
did you give that kid?
243
00:11:08,976 --> 00:11:12,196
- I don't know-- seven? 12?
- (stammers) 12?!
244
00:11:12,211 --> 00:11:13,951
Yeah! What? You told me
to take care of him.
245
00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:15,560
I didn't tell you
to kill him.
246
00:11:15,582 --> 00:11:16,653
Well, you better
go do something;
247
00:11:16,678 --> 00:11:18,436
Otherwise they're gonna have
to make an emergency landing
248
00:11:18,461 --> 00:11:22,047
- and this whole thing's gonna be screwed!
- Ah, shit! (grunts)
249
00:11:22,054 --> 00:11:24,983
Uh, what seems to be
the problem here?
250
00:11:25,008 --> 00:11:26,798
Are you a doctor?
251
00:11:26,823 --> 00:11:29,007
Mantis Toboggan, MD.
252
00:11:29,032 --> 00:11:32,807
You want this young man to live, you're
gonna have to give me some aspirin,
253
00:11:32,832 --> 00:11:36,973
a roll of duct tape, a bag of
peanuts and four beers.
254
00:11:36,998 --> 00:11:38,998
♪ ♪
255
00:11:52,498 --> 00:11:54,154
Jackpot.
(hatch opens)
256
00:11:54,179 --> 00:11:56,275
This way. Shh.
257
00:11:56,743 --> 00:11:58,556
Nice.
258
00:11:58,955 --> 00:12:01,073
Alright. There you go.
259
00:12:02,593 --> 00:12:04,935
- Speed it up a little
bit, honey? - Okay.
260
00:12:05,663 --> 00:12:08,804
- Ooh. Wow!
- (laughing): Yeah!
261
00:12:09,291 --> 00:12:11,928
Oh, you really know
your way around.
262
00:12:11,930 --> 00:12:13,653
Well, if I've learned
anything from films like
263
00:12:13,668 --> 00:12:15,551
Executive Decision
or Passenger 57,
264
00:12:15,576 --> 00:12:17,498
there's always a way
into the cargo hold.
265
00:12:17,523 --> 00:12:19,064
You're weird.
266
00:12:19,088 --> 00:12:21,058
- You have no idea.
- Oh...
267
00:12:21,076 --> 00:12:23,863
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Nothing with my lips, all right?
268
00:12:23,879 --> 00:12:25,238
- Okay.
- I won't do that with you.
269
00:12:25,254 --> 00:12:28,824
- Mind if I take a pill?
- Yeah, sure, take a pill.
270
00:12:31,976 --> 00:12:33,461
(sniffs)
271
00:12:33,975 --> 00:12:36,061
All right, well,
that's happening.
272
00:12:36,454 --> 00:12:37,775
- (grunting)
- Now, just do that.
273
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:38,828
That's a boy!
274
00:12:38,853 --> 00:12:41,853
Is it really necessary
to restrain him like this?
275
00:12:41,878 --> 00:12:45,573
You can never be too careful
with altitude sickness.
276
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:50,630
One time, this broad chewed
through the fuselage of a 747!
277
00:12:50,655 --> 00:12:52,475
Luckily, I'm a pilot, too.
278
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:57,764
I inverted the bird and landed
her safely in an open field.
279
00:12:58,713 --> 00:13:01,518
Okay, I'm sorry. I'm gonna need
to see some identification.
280
00:13:01,543 --> 00:13:03,744
You don't think
I'm a pilot?
281
00:13:03,769 --> 00:13:05,441
I don't think
you're a doctor.
282
00:13:05,465 --> 00:13:09,668
That is a serious
accusation!
283
00:13:09,693 --> 00:13:11,443
You've had 14 beers.
284
00:13:11,466 --> 00:13:12,896
You don't know that.
285
00:13:12,921 --> 00:13:14,530
It's written on your shirt.
286
00:13:14,551 --> 00:13:16,191
(grunts)
287
00:13:17,192 --> 00:13:19,669
How would you like to go
to the bathroom with me?
288
00:13:19,694 --> 00:13:22,311
- I got to go.
- You and me?
289
00:13:22,336 --> 00:13:27,219
Well, Frank, I have singlehandedly pushed
the limits of high-altitude eroticism.
290
00:13:27,235 --> 00:13:29,048
- You banged her?
- Yeah.
291
00:13:29,063 --> 00:13:30,404
What happened
to the classy broad?
292
00:13:30,428 --> 00:13:32,654
Oh, happily married. Yeah.
293
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:36,007
Turns out she takes her ring off when she
flies because her fingers swell. Yeah.
294
00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:38,845
But it-it's all good, Frank.
You know, hey, turns out Boggs,
295
00:13:38,853 --> 00:13:41,095
he didn't hit it out of the park
every single time at bat.
296
00:13:41,106 --> 00:13:42,931
- Mm-hmm.
- He just tried to get the ball in play
297
00:13:42,953 --> 00:13:45,024
and hope that he could
squeak it through the hole.
298
00:13:45,031 --> 00:13:47,015
And I just, uh, squeaked
it through multiple holes
299
00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:49,486
if you know what I'm saying.
Don't you!
300
00:13:50,021 --> 00:13:52,283
Ladies and gentlemen, please
fasten your seat belts
301
00:13:52,308 --> 00:13:54,840
as we begin our initial
decent into North Dakota.
302
00:13:54,862 --> 00:13:57,120
Oh, shit. Well, you know, you
heard the captain.
303
00:13:57,144 --> 00:13:59,570
On your bike. I wish
I could just sit with you.
304
00:13:59,578 --> 00:14:01,039
Yeah. Hmm.
305
00:14:01,054 --> 00:14:03,244
But, you know, there's already
a guy in the seat, so...
306
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:06,651
Oh. Excuse me, Mr. Person,
307
00:14:06,676 --> 00:14:10,083
would you mind switching seats so
I could sit with my boyfriend?
308
00:14:11,165 --> 00:14:12,376
Thank you.
309
00:14:14,447 --> 00:14:15,664
(laughs)
310
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:16,989
(taps on seat)
311
00:14:17,014 --> 00:14:19,616
("Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
plays)
312
00:14:23,654 --> 00:14:25,605
Hello, Charlie.
313
00:14:26,638 --> 00:14:28,644
Oh, shit!
314
00:14:28,669 --> 00:14:31,599
- You're the ghost of Wade Boggs!
- I'm not a ghost, Charlie.
315
00:14:31,622 --> 00:14:34,644
You're just hallucinating.
You've had over 30 beers, dude!
316
00:14:34,659 --> 00:14:36,490
Uh, you did? Nice, man.
317
00:14:36,515 --> 00:14:39,004
- You know, you're friend Mac is right.
- Oh, yeah?
318
00:14:39,027 --> 00:14:41,918
I didn't win five batting
titles because it was fun.
319
00:14:41,935 --> 00:14:44,710
- Right. - I won it because
I wanted to be the best.
320
00:14:44,735 --> 00:14:46,298
You see what I'm saying?
321
00:14:46,313 --> 00:14:47,860
Nah, not really, man.
322
00:14:47,885 --> 00:14:51,401
There's nothing more fun than winning.
So, come on, drink up.
323
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:52,606
- All right.
- I'll have one with you.
324
00:14:52,631 --> 00:14:57,031
- Nice! Let's do it, Boggs! Let's drink!
- All right! Yeah. All right. Cheers!
325
00:14:58,024 --> 00:14:59,607
Howdy, Dee.
326
00:15:01,632 --> 00:15:03,773
Well, what do
you say, Boss?
327
00:15:03,798 --> 00:15:05,658
Now, I know you're
not quitting on me.
328
00:15:05,683 --> 00:15:07,431
I need you to keep
drinking those beers,
329
00:15:07,446 --> 00:15:09,455
so you can help me
stop them Duke boys
330
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:13,488
from spoiling all my crooked
Hazzard County schemes!
331
00:15:13,511 --> 00:15:16,127
You got it, Boss Hoss.
332
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:29,849
All right! Well, here we are--
beautiful North Dakota.
333
00:15:29,874 --> 00:15:32,343
Hope you brought a coat 'cause
it looks cold as shit out there.
334
00:15:32,368 --> 00:15:34,462
I don't live in
North Dakota.
335
00:15:34,484 --> 00:15:35,968
You're going to L.A.?
336
00:15:35,993 --> 00:15:39,040
About 200 miles inland--
the Salton Sea.
337
00:15:39,065 --> 00:15:43,323
- My family has a tilapia farm there.
- Goddamn.
338
00:15:43,772 --> 00:15:45,897
Good. Good for them.
339
00:15:46,835 --> 00:15:48,273
- Will you excuse me for a minute?
- Sure.
340
00:15:49,578 --> 00:15:51,294
(indistinct announcement)
341
00:15:52,602 --> 00:15:53,793
- Dennis, Dennis?
- Huh?
342
00:15:53,808 --> 00:15:54,682
Where you going?
343
00:15:54,707 --> 00:15:57,729
Oh, uh, I mistook that girl
for Great Plains trash.
344
00:15:57,754 --> 00:15:59,316
She's actually
desert trash.
345
00:15:59,331 --> 00:16:01,809
I should've picked up on the
multiple gecko tattoos, so this,
346
00:16:01,823 --> 00:16:02,880
this is kind of on me.
347
00:16:02,905 --> 00:16:05,789
Either way, I'd rather stay in
this barren wasteland of a state
348
00:16:05,814 --> 00:16:08,087
than spend one more
minute with that filth.
349
00:16:08,112 --> 00:16:09,542
I'll see you
back in Philly.
350
00:16:09,565 --> 00:16:11,808
Wait, wait, Dennis.
Don't go.
351
00:16:20,194 --> 00:16:21,780
Now you can go.
352
00:16:21,805 --> 00:16:23,805
("Take Me Out to the Ball Game"
plays)
353
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:28,888
Come on! Drink! Drink!
You guys can do it!
354
00:16:28,911 --> 00:16:31,594
You guys are gonna make it! I can't
believe what we are witnessing here.
355
00:16:31,619 --> 00:16:35,283
We are making history here, people!
We're making history!
356
00:16:35,307 --> 00:16:37,673
- Beer me, baby.
- You're 40 beers back, bitch!
357
00:16:37,695 --> 00:16:39,088
Just sit back
and enjoy the show.
358
00:16:39,103 --> 00:16:42,225
Well, I'm tired of people
telling me what I can't do.
359
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,858
They say I can't
drink on a plane.
360
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:46,795
They say I can't
bang on a plane.
361
00:16:46,810 --> 00:16:50,650
They'll say I can't be a pilot.
I can't be a doctor.
362
00:16:51,226 --> 00:16:53,916
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do
it right in front of your face.
363
00:16:53,941 --> 00:16:56,556
I'm gonna chug 15
beers right now.
364
00:16:59,267 --> 00:17:01,470
Oh, that's so cold.
365
00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:03,038
Beer's cold.
366
00:17:03,843 --> 00:17:05,443
(grunts)
367
00:17:06,830 --> 00:17:08,697
There's a...
368
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,641
All right.
369
00:17:19,278 --> 00:17:21,127
Instant rebuff.
370
00:17:24,573 --> 00:17:26,436
Just leave me here.
371
00:17:27,078 --> 00:17:28,868
(electronic bell chimes)
372
00:17:32,193 --> 00:17:35,007
Okay, guys, here we go.
Almost there! Almost there!
373
00:17:35,022 --> 00:17:38,342
Wake up! Perk up! Perk up!
Guys, we're at 70 beers.
374
00:17:38,365 --> 00:17:40,318
That means one more
to break the record.
375
00:17:40,341 --> 00:17:41,825
- Come on.
- Come on, you can do it!
376
00:17:41,848 --> 00:17:44,703
Let's go! Chug it! Chug it!
Come on, come on, you can do it.
377
00:17:44,726 --> 00:17:46,910
You can do it!
I believe in you!
378
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,078
- Yeah!
- Yeah, Dee, go!
379
00:17:50,103 --> 00:17:52,935
- I did it!
- 71 beers!
380
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,823
- Holy shit! - I'm the king.
I'm the king, Boss Hogg.
381
00:17:55,839 --> 00:17:58,061
- But you're not done yet.
- (both groan)
382
00:17:58,076 --> 00:18:01,639
Yeah, no. Uh, Boggs didn't just
drink enough beer to kill a horse.
383
00:18:01,647 --> 00:18:03,908
He also suited up the next
day and went three for five,
384
00:18:03,933 --> 00:18:04,923
so you're gonna
have to do that.
385
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:06,926
I can do it, but just give me
the bat. I can't get it...
386
00:18:06,941 --> 00:18:09,806
Yeah, totally.
All right, uh... where's Dee?
387
00:18:09,831 --> 00:18:11,440
She took a ride
on the carousel.
388
00:18:11,459 --> 00:18:12,935
What?
389
00:18:22,069 --> 00:18:23,984
Okay, here we go, Charlie.
390
00:18:23,997 --> 00:18:26,622
You got to go at least three
for ten, all right? You ready?
391
00:18:26,638 --> 00:18:28,418
I got all numbers.
392
00:18:28,443 --> 00:18:30,380
Okay, I'm gonna put a little
mustard on this one, all right?
393
00:18:30,397 --> 00:18:32,991
- Give me the hot dog, baby!
- All right.
394
00:19:04,742 --> 00:19:06,941
Holy shit, dude!
395
00:19:06,966 --> 00:19:09,723
- You roped that!
- That's the Wade Boggs style!
396
00:19:09,748 --> 00:19:11,990
- Wow! - All right, give
me another one.
397
00:19:12,013 --> 00:19:13,365
You know, that's the only
ball I have,
398
00:19:13,390 --> 00:19:15,250
and I didn't expect
you to hit it that far.
399
00:19:15,272 --> 00:19:17,257
I really don't feel
like going to get it.
400
00:19:17,273 --> 00:19:19,588
So, I'm the commissioner.
401
00:19:19,603 --> 00:19:20,838
I say you did it!
402
00:19:20,861 --> 00:19:22,439
- Game on!
- Yeah!
403
00:19:22,455 --> 00:19:24,462
Hey, one for one-- that's
batting a thousand, dude.
404
00:19:24,486 --> 00:19:26,528
- That's baseball, baby!
- Yeah!
405
00:19:26,546 --> 00:19:27,265
(whoops)
406
00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:29,121
- Nice work!
- Yeah!
407
00:19:29,463 --> 00:19:31,219
- Hey, man?
- Yeah?
408
00:19:31,244 --> 00:19:33,152
(slurring): California U.S.A.
409
00:19:34,168 --> 00:19:35,775
It's kind of gloomy, huh?
410
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,049
Yeah.
411
00:19:37,691 --> 00:19:39,280
What do now?
412
00:19:39,305 --> 00:19:41,203
Well, if we hurry up, we can
get back to the airport
413
00:19:41,228 --> 00:19:42,486
and get a red-eye
back to Philly.
414
00:19:42,502 --> 00:19:45,630
- They got chicken Philly?
- They got chicken, yeah!
415
00:19:45,655 --> 00:19:47,343
Hey, let's go
grab a beer, huh?
416
00:19:55,536 --> 00:20:05,536
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther