1
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:36,000
<b><font color="#0E7521">Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2016 - New Year, New Color ;-)</font></b>

2
00:01:42,616 --> 00:01:44,607
Oh, yeah.

3
00:01:44,684 --> 00:01:47,380
These are going down real smooth now.

4
00:01:47,454 --> 00:01:50,252
Dee, slow down.
You're on pace to drink 130 beers.

5
00:01:50,323 --> 00:01:52,416
Don't ruin this for me, Deandra.

6
00:01:52,492 --> 00:01:55,518
This could be the last chance I got
to do something great in my life.

7
00:01:55,595 --> 00:01:58,155
You jerks are just all mad
'cause I'm gonna be the one...

8
00:01:58,231 --> 00:02:01,428
to shatter Boss Hogg's drinking record.

9
00:02:01,501 --> 00:02:05,096
Dee, Boss Hogg was a big, fat redneck
from <i>The Dukes of Hazzard.</i>

10
00:02:05,172 --> 00:02:07,140
Wade Boggs is a Hall of Fame
third baseman.

11
00:02:07,207 --> 00:02:09,072
Yeah, it's Wade Boggs's drinking record, okay?

12
00:02:09,142 --> 00:02:10,632
The man's a legend.

13
00:02:10,710 --> 00:02:12,541
He drank 50 beers
on a cross-country flight...

14
00:02:12,612 --> 00:02:15,410
and then absolutely destroyed the Seattle
Mariners the next day, okay?

15
00:02:15,482 --> 00:02:17,609
- Ugh. - That's why we're doing
this, to honor his memory, okay?

16
00:02:17,684 --> 00:02:19,208
May he rest in peace.

17
00:02:19,286 --> 00:02:21,811
First off, Wade Boggs is very much alive.

18
00:02:21,888 --> 00:02:24,584
Secondly, the number of beers
is actually highly disputed.

19
00:02:24,658 --> 00:02:26,990
Some say 50, some teammates said 60...

20
00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:28,960
some said as many as 70 beers.

21
00:02:29,029 --> 00:02:32,294
Which, to be honest,
is an absolutely insane amount of beer.

22
00:02:32,365 --> 00:02:34,959
- Nobody can drink that much.
- Not with an attitude like that.

23
00:02:35,035 --> 00:02:37,765
Perhaps we're taking
this a little bit too seriously?

24
00:02:37,838 --> 00:02:39,965
Absolute...
We're not, okay? The man is a legend.

25
00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,406
That's why we're doing this, all right?
To honor his memory.

26
00:02:42,476 --> 00:02:46,674
- Rest in peace, Wade.
- Again, he is still alive.

27
00:03:11,538 --> 00:03:15,702
Always sticking me
with the nerds.

28
00:03:18,111 --> 00:03:21,012
- Yes, ma'am?
- Uh, actually, I can, uh, handle this one.

29
00:03:21,081 --> 00:03:23,208
We'll be sharing the in-flight
call system today.

30
00:03:23,283 --> 00:03:25,376
- Excuse me?
- Oh, sorry. Let me explain.

31
00:03:25,452 --> 00:03:27,079
We're doing
a Wade Boggs-type thing...

32
00:03:27,153 --> 00:03:28,643
and that makes me sort of...

33
00:03:28,722 --> 00:03:30,212
the Commissioner Bud Selig of the group.

34
00:03:30,290 --> 00:03:31,587
Oh, you're the commissioner now?

35
00:03:31,658 --> 00:03:33,626
Well, somebody's gotta keep the game fair...

36
00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:35,183
And everybody invested, okay, Dee?

37
00:03:35,262 --> 00:03:38,322
He didn't win the chugging contest.
Two more beers, please.

38
00:03:38,398 --> 00:03:39,922
Actually, ma'am, we're about to take off...

39
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,900
- so I'm gonna need you to stow your tray table.
- Ooh.

40
00:03:41,968 --> 00:03:43,993
- Okay.
- I can take that and throw it out for you.

41
00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:46,766
Yeah, but just give me a second. Okay?
Just give me a second?

42
00:03:48,942 --> 00:03:50,432
- There you go.
- Great.

43
00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:52,410
Hold on. Hold on.

44
00:03:58,251 --> 00:03:59,843
Ugh! Ouch!

45
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:02,388
It's... really cold.

46
00:04:02,455 --> 00:04:04,446
Damn, Dee.

47
00:04:04,524 --> 00:04:07,516
Oh, God.
You really have to slow down a little bit.

48
00:04:21,341 --> 00:04:22,899
Can I get you something to drink?

49
00:04:22,976 --> 00:04:25,206
Hey, I'll just get a beer, please.

50
00:04:25,278 --> 00:04:26,370
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

51
00:04:26,446 --> 00:04:28,471
I'm a little concerned about
this frat boy here.

52
00:04:28,548 --> 00:04:32,245
- There's only so many beers on the flight.
- I'll take care of him.

53
00:04:32,319 --> 00:04:34,344
- For you, sir?
- Excuse me, miss?

54
00:04:34,421 --> 00:04:37,948
Um, actually, yeah. How many beers are
we allowed to order at once?

55
00:04:38,024 --> 00:04:40,993
I'm not sure.
No one has ever asked that before.

56
00:04:41,061 --> 00:04:42,551
Great, so there's no rule on that.

57
00:04:42,629 --> 00:04:44,597
Uh, why don't you give me six then, please?

58
00:04:44,664 --> 00:04:46,291
How about you make it an even dozen?

59
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:49,460
How about I start you with two apiece,
and we just take it from there?

60
00:04:49,536 --> 00:04:51,970
Sure, if you want to be lugging beers
back and forth the entire flight.

61
00:04:52,038 --> 00:04:53,665
I guess that's, uh, up to you.

62
00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:57,005
I'll be taking care
of everybody on the Boggs account.

63
00:04:57,077 --> 00:05:00,274
Oh, and by the way, do you sell condoms?

64
00:05:00,347 --> 00:05:02,577
No, I'm afraid we don't.

65
00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:03,946
- Ooh.
- Yeah.

66
00:05:04,017 --> 00:05:05,848
I'll have to figure something else out.

67
00:05:05,919 --> 00:05:08,183
- Got it.
- Thank you so much.

68
00:05:08,254 --> 00:05:11,052
- Hey. Frank.
- Hmm?

69
00:05:11,124 --> 00:05:12,614
What's with the condom thing?

70
00:05:12,692 --> 00:05:15,627
You think the Boggs record
is the only one I'm going for?

71
00:05:15,695 --> 00:05:20,462
I'm gonna become the first-ever member
of the Air Sex Society.

72
00:05:20,533 --> 00:05:22,501
Okay. What is that?

73
00:05:22,569 --> 00:05:26,505
That means I'm gonna be plowing somebody
in the bathroom before this plane lands.

74
00:05:26,573 --> 00:05:28,905
Do you think you made that up?
Because that's already a thing.

75
00:05:28,975 --> 00:05:32,001
It's called the Mile High Club. People have
been doing it since planes have been around.

76
00:05:32,078 --> 00:05:33,705
That name sucks.

77
00:05:33,780 --> 00:05:35,270
I'll tell you what though.

78
00:05:35,348 --> 00:05:39,148
I will make you a bet
that I plow somebody on this fight...

79
00:05:39,219 --> 00:05:42,950
somewhere other than the bathroom,
before we hit the Great Lakes.

80
00:05:43,023 --> 00:05:44,513
- I'll take that bet.
- Yeah?

81
00:05:44,591 --> 00:05:46,786
Whoa, whoa.
Did I hear you guys talking about a bet?

82
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:49,727
There's no betting, okay?
That compromises the integrity of the game.

83
00:05:49,796 --> 00:05:51,821
It's got nothing to do
with the Wade Boggs thing.

84
00:05:51,898 --> 00:05:53,388
It doesn't matter, okay, guys?

85
00:05:53,466 --> 00:05:55,400
That's a rule.
And as commissioner, you have to obey me.

86
00:05:55,468 --> 00:05:57,993
Right, Commissioner. Go get me another beer.

87
00:05:58,071 --> 00:06:00,335
Okay, I will, but not
because you told me to...

88
00:06:00,407 --> 00:06:01,999
but because I'm commissioner
and that's my job.

89
00:06:02,075 --> 00:06:03,508
Yeah.

90
00:06:06,479 --> 00:06:07,969
You're on.

91
00:06:12,886 --> 00:06:14,410
Pathetic.

92
00:06:16,589 --> 00:06:21,754
Twenty... nine... beers.

93
00:06:24,097 --> 00:06:25,860
- How can I help you?
- Hmm? Oh.

94
00:06:25,932 --> 00:06:27,422
Hey-oh!

95
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,990
- This is my guy.
- Yeah.

96
00:06:29,069 --> 00:06:30,832
- I got a couple more for you. Grab that.
- Great.

97
00:06:30,904 --> 00:06:32,394
Actually, while you're here...

98
00:06:32,472 --> 00:06:34,099
could I have a rum and Coke, please?

99
00:06:34,174 --> 00:06:35,971
Uh, oh, uh, hold on one second.

100
00:06:36,042 --> 00:06:37,532
It's a beer-drinking contest, Charlie.

101
00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:39,601
I'm still doing the Boggs thing,
but you know what?

102
00:06:39,679 --> 00:06:41,772
A stiff cocktail would go good
with my chicken, so...

103
00:06:41,848 --> 00:06:43,713
Why are you filling up with chicken?

104
00:06:43,783 --> 00:06:46,752
Do you know anything about Wade Boggs?
The man ate a chicken before every game.

105
00:06:46,820 --> 00:06:49,914
That's why they called him
"the Chicken Man." Man batted.328 lifetime.

106
00:06:49,989 --> 00:06:52,423
I'm sure he ate some
rum and Cokes too, all right?

107
00:06:52,492 --> 00:06:54,790
You just said "ate rum and Cokes."
You're getting buzzed.

108
00:06:54,861 --> 00:06:57,091
- You shouldn't be drinking hard alcohol.
- I said one rum and Coke.

109
00:06:57,163 --> 00:06:58,721
One, please. Make it a double though.

110
00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:02,825
Hey-oh!
Mama needs another pop, pop.

111
00:07:02,902 --> 00:07:05,894
- Pop-de-pop, soda pop, soda pop, soda
pop, soda pop... - What are you doing?

112
00:07:05,972 --> 00:07:08,202
- Why are you dancing around like a jackass?
- Soda pop, nah.

113
00:07:08,274 --> 00:07:10,902
Wade Boggs would roll in his grave
if he could see your behavior.

114
00:07:10,977 --> 00:07:13,172
- Wade Boggs is alive.
- Huh?

115
00:07:13,246 --> 00:07:15,578
He lives in Tampa, Florida.
He's in his early 50s.

116
00:07:15,648 --> 00:07:18,048
You, where did you come from?
You were passed out two minutes ago.

117
00:07:18,118 --> 00:07:21,713
I know it, I was,
and then I popped a couple of these babies.

118
00:07:21,788 --> 00:07:23,915
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

119
00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:25,651
- What the hell are those, Dee?
- Greenies. Uppers.

120
00:07:25,725 --> 00:07:28,216
Feel like I got a rocket up my ass.

121
00:07:28,294 --> 00:07:30,819
If these guys find out that you're taking
performance-enhancing drugs...

122
00:07:30,897 --> 00:07:32,956
the integrity of the game
is completely compromised, all right?

123
00:07:33,032 --> 00:07:34,329
Oh, shit.

124
00:07:34,400 --> 00:07:35,958
As the Bud Selig of the group...

125
00:07:36,035 --> 00:07:39,493
it's my job to quietly sweep this under
the rug before anybody finds out.

126
00:07:39,572 --> 00:07:41,062
- You know, Commissioner, you just...
- Go.

127
00:07:41,141 --> 00:07:42,631
- Lost the chugging contest.
- Go.

128
00:07:48,214 --> 00:07:50,011
Hey!

129
00:07:50,083 --> 00:07:55,146
You know, I actually went to school at the
same college, your alma mater, in 1966.

130
00:07:55,221 --> 00:07:56,745
- Yeah?
- Yeah, here, have a beer, huh?

131
00:07:56,823 --> 00:07:58,313
- It's like...
- Oh, that's nice of you.

132
00:07:58,391 --> 00:08:00,985
Yeah, yeah, good, yeah. Drink up.

133
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:04,359
Frank?
Did you just buy frat boy a beer?

134
00:08:04,430 --> 00:08:07,456
Don't worry about it.
I laced it with sleeping pills.

135
00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:09,593
He's gonna be out like
a light in two minutes.

136
00:08:09,669 --> 00:08:11,330
That is some diabolical shit, dude.

137
00:08:11,404 --> 00:08:12,894
Down.

138
00:08:12,972 --> 00:08:14,462
What's going on with the sex moves?

139
00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:17,009
I've been laying chum
up and down this plane.

140
00:08:17,076 --> 00:08:18,771
Yeah, I-I know. I've noticed.

141
00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:20,335
Yeah, I've got my prey picked out.

142
00:08:20,413 --> 00:08:22,278
I'm just waiting for
the right moment to pounce.

143
00:08:22,348 --> 00:08:25,112
What are you talking about? You haven't
moved an inch. You're just drinking.

144
00:08:25,185 --> 00:08:26,914
- Oh, is that what you think?
- Mm-hmm.

145
00:08:26,986 --> 00:08:29,079
Frank, of the 206 passengers
on this flight...

146
00:08:29,155 --> 00:08:33,524
98 of them are women, but only one of them
is a suitable candidate...

147
00:08:33,593 --> 00:08:35,151
44G.

148
00:08:35,228 --> 00:08:39,961
<i>Notice how she glances forlornly
at the empty seat next to her.</i>

149
00:08:40,033 --> 00:08:42,399
<i>It was meant for someone special.</i>

150
00:08:42,468 --> 00:08:45,562
<i>And the tan line on
her ring finger suggests...</i>

151
00:08:45,638 --> 00:08:48,698
<i>the wound is still fresh,
leaving her vulnerable.</i>

152
00:08:48,775 --> 00:08:51,175
<i>Furthermore, when we hit
turbulence earlier, she giggled...</i>

153
00:08:51,244 --> 00:08:53,712
<i>telling me she's a bit of a thrill seeker.</i>

154
00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:56,647
You think she offed the guy
and went on the run?

155
00:08:56,716 --> 00:08:59,082
Pretty tough to lay low
in a dress like that.

156
00:09:00,386 --> 00:09:02,752
<i>Granted, it's not a particularly
remarkable garment.</i>

157
00:09:02,822 --> 00:09:05,985
<i>It's from the J. Crew Spring 2012 collection.</i>

158
00:09:06,059 --> 00:09:08,960
<i>Although, it is a bit much for an airplane.</i>

159
00:09:09,028 --> 00:09:11,826
<i>Furthermore, if she were standing, you'd
notice she's got no panty line...</i>

160
00:09:11,898 --> 00:09:14,731
giving me about five extra seconds
to enter her swiftly...

161
00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:18,828
before she realizes
I am not the answer to her problems.

162
00:09:21,441 --> 00:09:27,812
I'll tell you my tastes
lie a little bit more in 39F.

163
00:09:27,881 --> 00:09:30,509
No. No, thank you, Frank.

164
00:09:30,583 --> 00:09:33,245
No, her blouse is covered
in cigarette burns.

165
00:09:33,319 --> 00:09:37,221
And I imagine underneath that blouse,
you'll find copious amounts of road rash...

166
00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:40,555
probably sustained in some sort of
off-roading accident...

167
00:09:40,627 --> 00:09:42,390
which would also explain her limp.

168
00:09:42,462 --> 00:09:45,625
Although something tells me
the two are unrelated.

169
00:09:45,698 --> 00:09:47,598
Either way, she's North Dakota trash
through and through...

170
00:09:47,667 --> 00:09:50,932
and far beneath a gentleman such as myself.

171
00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:53,871
Uh, miss? Six more beers.

172
00:09:58,444 --> 00:09:59,934
Oh.

173
00:10:00,013 --> 00:10:02,413
Hey-oh! Ah, there we go.

174
00:10:02,482 --> 00:10:03,972
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

175
00:10:04,050 --> 00:10:05,745
- Hey, listen, Charlie?
- Yeah.

176
00:10:05,818 --> 00:10:09,811
I need you to start
a McGwire/Sosa-like rivalry with Dee.

177
00:10:09,889 --> 00:10:13,188
Look, I think you're getting, like,
too worked up about this thing.

178
00:10:13,259 --> 00:10:14,954
Can we just drink the beer and hang out?

179
00:10:15,028 --> 00:10:17,394
Here's the thing.
The game seems to be getting off the rails.

180
00:10:17,463 --> 00:10:20,432
Frank and Dennis are super distracted
and Dee is kind of running away with it.

181
00:10:20,500 --> 00:10:22,627
Boggsy didn't drink six gallons of beer...

182
00:10:22,702 --> 00:10:24,602
because he was obsessed with,
like, breaking some record.

183
00:10:24,671 --> 00:10:29,506
You know what I mean? He did it 'cause he
was just, like, thirsty, you know...

184
00:10:29,575 --> 00:10:31,167
and looking to pass the time.

185
00:10:31,244 --> 00:10:33,041
Yeah, but I can sell a rivalry, all right?

186
00:10:33,112 --> 00:10:35,342
What I can't sell is... 27 beers.

187
00:10:35,415 --> 00:10:38,282
What am I gonna do with 27 beers?
Who-Who cares about 27 beers?

188
00:10:38,351 --> 00:10:41,752
We're not selling anything. Like, I think
you're taking the commissioner thing way...

189
00:10:41,821 --> 00:10:44,949
- You lost the chugging contest.
- Why did you make me Bud Selig if you didn't...

190
00:10:45,024 --> 00:10:47,857
Nobody did. You just started saying that.
Look, I got empties for you.

191
00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:50,327
- Take those and don't put pressure on yourself...
- I got the empties. Listen.

192
00:10:50,396 --> 00:10:52,523
Attention, passengers.

193
00:10:52,598 --> 00:10:54,759
This is your captain, Boss Hogg, speaking.

194
00:10:54,834 --> 00:10:58,827
And this cold slice of heaven
is my 40th beer of the afternoon.

195
00:10:58,905 --> 00:11:02,864
So any of you dick-nips
think you can slug it down faster than me...

196
00:11:02,942 --> 00:11:05,035
you're welcome to get
your fat asses up here to try.

197
00:11:05,111 --> 00:11:06,510
- Mm-mmm.
- Yeah. No.

198
00:11:06,579 --> 00:11:07,944
- Mm-mmm! Mm-mmm!
- Put your...

199
00:11:08,014 --> 00:11:09,504
- Oh, I'm gonna need that.
- Ah.

200
00:11:09,582 --> 00:11:11,675
- You ruining everything.
- Okay.

201
00:11:11,751 --> 00:11:13,480
The Boggs group is cut off.

202
00:11:13,553 --> 00:11:15,282
- Oh.
- What? Aw, dude.

203
00:11:15,355 --> 00:11:17,220
That's not good.
I can't stop drinking now.

204
00:11:17,290 --> 00:11:19,053
- I'll probably die, dude.
- Damn it!

205
00:11:19,125 --> 00:11:21,252
I'm running low too. Shit.

206
00:11:21,327 --> 00:11:23,056
Okay. Luckily, I came prepared.

207
00:11:23,129 --> 00:11:24,824
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

208
00:11:24,897 --> 00:11:27,695
Charlie, we're not
on a wide-body DC-10 for nothing.

209
00:11:27,767 --> 00:11:29,860
Right. We bought tickets.

210
00:11:29,936 --> 00:11:33,428
Well, yes, but we chose
a wide-body DC-10 on purpose.

211
00:11:33,506 --> 00:11:35,337
- That's what I'm...
- To get up in the sky.

212
00:11:35,408 --> 00:11:37,069
Let me walk you through it.

213
00:11:37,143 --> 00:11:39,873
I got 100 extra beers
in a checked bag, okay?

214
00:11:39,946 --> 00:11:43,404
Now according to movies
like <i>Executive Decision</i> and <i>Passenger 57...</i>

215
00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:45,451
there is a secret hatch on every plane...

216
00:11:45,518 --> 00:11:49,477
- that allows me to travel freely throughout
the aircraft. - Everybody knows that.

217
00:11:49,555 --> 00:11:53,924
Yeah, so I just gotta
find my right time to get down there.

218
00:11:53,993 --> 00:11:56,223
- I think you can probably go anytime.
- Go right now, right?

219
00:11:56,295 --> 00:11:58,195
- This stewardess is not on the ball.
- Okay, yeah.

220
00:12:07,607 --> 00:12:09,734
- Oh!
- Hey-oh!

221
00:12:09,809 --> 00:12:12,175
- Why isn't the door locked, Frank?
- I'm posting up.

222
00:12:12,245 --> 00:12:14,941
Half the battle is getting them
to follow you to the bathroom.

223
00:12:15,014 --> 00:12:17,915
This way, I'm sitting here.
It's like lambs to the slaughter.

224
00:12:17,984 --> 00:12:20,418
Aaah! What's happening to me?

225
00:12:21,954 --> 00:12:23,751
Some-Something is wrong.

226
00:12:23,823 --> 00:12:26,758
- - Ladies and gentlemen,
if there's a doctor on board...

227
00:12:26,826 --> 00:12:28,293
please press your call button.

228
00:12:28,361 --> 00:12:29,988
Something is wrong with me.

229
00:12:30,063 --> 00:12:32,190
Dude, how many sleeping pills
did you give that kid?

230
00:12:32,265 --> 00:12:35,428
- I don't know? Seven, 12?
- Twelve?

231
00:12:35,501 --> 00:12:39,028
- Yeah! You told me to take care of him.
- I didn't tell you to kill him.

232
00:12:39,105 --> 00:12:41,665
You better do something. Otherwise they're
gonna have to make an emergency landing...

233
00:12:41,741 --> 00:12:43,038
and this thing's gonna be screwed!

234
00:12:43,109 --> 00:12:45,407
Ah, shit!

235
00:12:45,478 --> 00:12:47,776
Uh, what seems to be the problem here?

236
00:12:47,847 --> 00:12:49,439
Are you a doctor?

237
00:12:49,515 --> 00:12:52,313
Mantis Toboggan, MD.

238
00:12:52,385 --> 00:12:55,821
You want this young man to live,
you're gonna have to give me some aspirin...

239
00:12:55,888 --> 00:13:00,154
a roll of duct tape,
a bag of peanuts and four beers.

240
00:13:15,208 --> 00:13:16,698
Jackpot.

241
00:13:16,776 --> 00:13:19,244
All right, this way. Shh.

242
00:13:19,312 --> 00:13:22,281
Nice.

243
00:13:22,348 --> 00:13:24,908
All right, here we go.

244
00:13:26,052 --> 00:13:29,044
- Speed it up a little bit, hon?
- Okay.

245
00:13:29,122 --> 00:13:31,750
- Ooh. Wow!
- Ooh-hoo-hoo. Yeah!

246
00:13:31,824 --> 00:13:33,348
Ugh.

247
00:13:33,426 --> 00:13:35,360
Oh, you really know your way around.

248
00:13:35,428 --> 00:13:36,918
If I've learned anything from films...

249
00:13:36,996 --> 00:13:38,861
like <i>Executive Decision</i> or <i>Passenger 57...</i>

250
00:13:38,931 --> 00:13:40,694
there's always a way into the cargo hold.

251
00:13:40,766 --> 00:13:43,792
- You're weird.
- You have no idea.

252
00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:45,303
- Oh.
- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

253
00:13:45,371 --> 00:13:46,861
Nothing with my lips, all right?

254
00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:48,497
- Okay.
- I don't want to do that with you.

255
00:13:48,574 --> 00:13:52,101
- Mind if I take a pill?
- Yeah, sure, take a pill.

256
00:13:57,016 --> 00:13:59,109
All right, well, that's happening.

257
00:13:59,185 --> 00:14:02,177
Now just do that. That's a boy!

258
00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:05,224
Is it really necessary
to restrain him like this?

259
00:14:05,291 --> 00:14:08,783
You can never be too careful
with altitude sickness.

260
00:14:08,861 --> 00:14:13,958
One time, this broad chewed through
the fuselage of a 747.

261
00:14:14,033 --> 00:14:15,830
Luckily, I'm a pilot too.

262
00:14:15,902 --> 00:14:20,339
I inverted the bird
and landed her safely in an open field.

263
00:14:21,274 --> 00:14:22,764
- Ah.
- Okay, I'm sorry.

264
00:14:22,842 --> 00:14:24,707
I'm gonna need to see some identification.

265
00:14:24,777 --> 00:14:26,506
You don't think I'm a pilot?

266
00:14:26,579 --> 00:14:28,740
I don't think you're a doctor.

267
00:14:28,814 --> 00:14:32,841
That is a serious accusation.

268
00:14:32,919 --> 00:14:34,511
You've had 14 beers.

269
00:14:34,587 --> 00:14:37,420
- You don't know that.
- It's written on your shirt.

270
00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:42,390
How'd you like to go
to the bathroom with me?

271
00:14:42,461 --> 00:14:45,430
- I gotta go.
- You and me?

272
00:14:45,498 --> 00:14:46,988
Well, Frank...

273
00:14:47,066 --> 00:14:50,433
I have single-handedly pushed the limits
of high-altitude eroticism.

274
00:14:50,503 --> 00:14:52,494
- You banged her?
- Yeah.

275
00:14:52,572 --> 00:14:55,905
- What happened to the classy broad?
- Oh, happily married. Yeah.

276
00:14:55,975 --> 00:14:58,910
Turns out she takes her ring off
when she flies 'cause her fingers swell.

277
00:14:58,978 --> 00:15:00,536
Yeah.
But it-it's all good, Frank.

278
00:15:00,613 --> 00:15:02,103
You know, hey, turns out Boggs...

279
00:15:02,181 --> 00:15:04,240
he didn't hit it out of the park
every time at bat.

280
00:15:04,317 --> 00:15:06,285
- Mm-hmm.
- He tried to get the ball in play...

281
00:15:06,352 --> 00:15:08,217
and hope that he could squeak it
through the hole.

282
00:15:08,287 --> 00:15:10,915
I just squeaked it through multiple holes,
if you know what I'm saying.

283
00:15:10,990 --> 00:15:13,185
Don't, you!

284
00:15:13,259 --> 00:15:15,489
<i>Ladies and gentlemen,
please fasten your seat belts...</i>

285
00:15:15,561 --> 00:15:18,155
<i>as we begin our initial descent
into North Dakota.</i>

286
00:15:18,231 --> 00:15:20,495
Oh, shit.
Well, you know, you heard the captain.

287
00:15:20,566 --> 00:15:22,898
- On your bike.
- I wish I could just sit with you.

288
00:15:22,969 --> 00:15:24,596
Yeah. Hmm.

289
00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:27,571
- But, you know, there's already
a guy in the seat, so... - Oh.

290
00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,835
Excuse me, Mr. Person...

291
00:15:29,909 --> 00:15:34,039
would you mind switching seats so I could
sit with my boyfriend?

292
00:15:34,113 --> 00:15:35,603
Thank you.

293
00:15:46,692 --> 00:15:49,991
Hello, Charlie.

294
00:15:50,062 --> 00:15:51,962
Oh, shit!

295
00:15:52,031 --> 00:15:53,931
You're the ghost of Wade Boggs!

296
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,025
I'm not a ghost, Charlie.
You're just hallucinating.

297
00:15:56,102 --> 00:15:57,967
You've had over 30 beers, dude!

298
00:15:58,037 --> 00:15:59,834
Uh, you did? Nice, man.

299
00:15:59,905 --> 00:16:02,339
- You know, your friend Mac is right.
- Oh, yeah?

300
00:16:02,408 --> 00:16:05,775
- I didn't win five batting titles because it was fun.
- Right.

301
00:16:05,845 --> 00:16:08,006
I won it because I wanted to be the best.

302
00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:10,981
- Do you see what I'm saying?
- Nah, not really, man.

303
00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:14,645
There's nothing more fun than winning.
So, come on, drink up.

304
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,210
- All right.
- I'll have one with you.

305
00:16:16,289 --> 00:16:18,189
- Nice! Let's do it, Boggs.
- Yeah. All right.

306
00:16:18,257 --> 00:16:19,952
- Let's drink!
- Cheers!

307
00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,825
Howdy, Dee.

308
00:16:24,597 --> 00:16:26,929
Well, what do you say, Boss?

309
00:16:26,999 --> 00:16:29,024
Now, I know you're not quitting on me.

310
00:16:29,101 --> 00:16:30,728
I need you to keep drinking those beers...

311
00:16:30,803 --> 00:16:32,703
so you can help me stop them Duke boys...

312
00:16:32,772 --> 00:16:35,935
from spoiling all my crooked
Hazzard County schemes!

313
00:16:36,008 --> 00:16:39,535
You got it, Boss Hoss.

314
00:16:49,288 --> 00:16:52,951
All right!
Well, here we are, beautiful North Dakota.

315
00:16:53,025 --> 00:16:55,619
Hope you brought a coat
'cause it looks cold as shit out there.

316
00:16:55,695 --> 00:16:57,526
I don't live in North Dakota.

317
00:16:57,596 --> 00:16:59,188
You're going to LA?

318
00:16:59,265 --> 00:17:02,393
About 200 miles inland, the Salton Sea.

319
00:17:02,468 --> 00:17:04,561
My family has a tilapia farm there.

320
00:17:04,637 --> 00:17:07,105
Goddamn.

321
00:17:07,173 --> 00:17:09,971
Good. Good for them.

322
00:17:10,042 --> 00:17:11,737
- Will you excuse me for a minute?
- Sure.

323
00:17:14,980 --> 00:17:16,971
Dennis. Dennis!

324
00:17:17,049 --> 00:17:18,744
- Huh?
- Where you going?

325
00:17:18,818 --> 00:17:21,013
Oh, I mistook that
girl for Great Plains trash.

326
00:17:21,087 --> 00:17:22,577
She's actually desert trash.

327
00:17:22,655 --> 00:17:24,680
I should've picked up on
the multiple gecko tattoos...

328
00:17:24,757 --> 00:17:26,247
so this is kind of on me.

329
00:17:26,325 --> 00:17:29,021
Either way, I'd rather stay in this
barren wasteland of a state...

330
00:17:29,095 --> 00:17:31,222
than spend one more minute with that filth.

331
00:17:31,297 --> 00:17:34,357
- I'll see you back in Philly.
- Wait, wait, Dennis. Don't go.

332
00:17:43,175 --> 00:17:45,040
Now you can go.

333
00:17:50,783 --> 00:17:53,013
Come on! Drink!
You can do it! You guys are gonna make it!

334
00:17:53,085 --> 00:17:54,712
I can't believe what we are witnessing here.

335
00:17:54,787 --> 00:17:58,245
We are making history here, people!
We're making history!

336
00:17:58,324 --> 00:18:00,918
- Beer me, baby.
- You're 40 beers back, bitch!

337
00:18:00,993 --> 00:18:02,858
Just sit back and enjoy the show.

338
00:18:02,928 --> 00:18:05,453
Well, I'm tired of people
telling me what I can't do.

339
00:18:05,531 --> 00:18:08,159
They say I can't drink on a plane.

340
00:18:08,234 --> 00:18:10,031
They say I can't bang on a plane.

341
00:18:10,102 --> 00:18:11,967
They say I can't be a pilot.

342
00:18:12,037 --> 00:18:13,527
I can't be a doctor.

343
00:18:13,606 --> 00:18:15,437
I'm gonna do it.

344
00:18:15,508 --> 00:18:17,305
I'm gonna do it right in front of your face.

345
00:18:17,376 --> 00:18:19,037
I'm gonna chug 15 beers right now.

346
00:18:21,981 --> 00:18:25,041
Oh, that's so cold.

347
00:18:25,117 --> 00:18:27,813
Beer's so cold.

348
00:18:27,887 --> 00:18:29,582
There's a...

349
00:18:30,222 --> 00:18:31,712
There's a...

350
00:18:42,401 --> 00:18:44,232
Instant rebuff.

351
00:18:47,106 --> 00:18:49,631
Just leave me here.

352
00:18:55,548 --> 00:18:57,607
Okay, guys, here we go. Almost there!

353
00:18:57,683 --> 00:18:59,651
Almost there! Wake up! Perk up! Perk up!

354
00:18:59,718 --> 00:19:01,686
Guys, we're at 70 beers.

355
00:19:01,754 --> 00:19:03,483
That means one more to break the record.

356
00:19:03,556 --> 00:19:05,080
- Come on.
- Come on. You can do it!

357
00:19:05,157 --> 00:19:06,988
Go! Chug it! Chug it!

358
00:19:07,059 --> 00:19:11,120
Come on, come on, you can do it.
You can do it! I believe in you!

359
00:19:11,197 --> 00:19:13,427
- Yeah!
- Yeah, Dee, go!

360
00:19:13,499 --> 00:19:16,297
- I did it!
- Seventy-one beers!

361
00:19:16,368 --> 00:19:18,962
- Holy shit!
- I'm the king, Boss Hoss.

362
00:19:19,038 --> 00:19:21,336
- But you're not done yet.
- Ah.

363
00:19:21,407 --> 00:19:24,137
Yeah, no. Uh, Boggs didn't just drink
enough beer to kill a horse.

364
00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,644
He also suited up the next day
and went three for five...

365
00:19:26,712 --> 00:19:28,202
so you're gonna have to do that.

366
00:19:30,282 --> 00:19:32,842
Yeah, totally.
All right, uh... Where's Dee?

367
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:36,210
What?

368
00:19:45,097 --> 00:19:47,258
Okay, here we go, Charlie.

369
00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:49,995
You gotta go at least
three for 10, all right? You ready?

370
00:19:51,537 --> 00:19:53,562
I'm gonna put a little mustard
on this one, all right?

371
00:19:54,206 --> 00:19:55,696
All right.

372
00:20:27,907 --> 00:20:31,434
Holy shit, dude! You roped that!

373
00:20:33,178 --> 00:20:34,907
- Wow!
- All right, give me another one.

374
00:20:34,980 --> 00:20:38,279
That's the only ball I have,
and I didn't expect you to hit it that far.

375
00:20:38,350 --> 00:20:39,942
I don't feel like going to get it.

376
00:20:40,019 --> 00:20:42,214
So, I'm the commissioner.

377
00:20:42,288 --> 00:20:43,778
I say you did it!

378
00:20:45,157 --> 00:20:47,751
Yeah! One for one.
That's batting a thousand, dude.

379
00:20:48,761 --> 00:20:49,819
Yeah!

380
00:20:49,895 --> 00:20:51,419
- Whoo!
- Nice work!

381
00:20:51,497 --> 00:20:52,521
Yeah!

382
00:20:52,598 --> 00:20:54,088
- Hey, man?
- Yeah?

383
00:20:57,369 --> 00:20:59,860
- It's kind of gloomy, huh?
- Yeah.

384
00:21:02,675 --> 00:21:05,644
If we hurry up, we get back to the airport,
get a red-eye back to Philly.

385
00:21:06,979 --> 00:21:08,970
They got chicken, yeah!

386
00:21:09,048 --> 00:21:10,538
- Let's go grab a beer.
- Ah, yeah.

387
00:22:00,500 --> 00:22:08,500
<b><font color="#0E7521">Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2016 - New Year, New Color ;-)</font></b>

