1
00:00:00,030 --> 00:00:02,270
so you see what you are eating is not technically yogurt,
2
00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:04,910
because it doesn't have enough live acidophilus cultures.
3
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:08,420
It's really just ice milk with carrageenan added for thickness.
4
00:00:08,430 --> 00:00:10,530
Oh,that's very interesting.
5
00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:13,530
It's also not pink and has no berries.
6
00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:17,010
Yeah,but it doesn't really answer my question.
7
00:00:17,020 --> 00:00:18,550
What was your question again?
8
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,730
Do you want some?
9
00:00:21,750 --> 00:00:22,700
Right. No.
10
00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:24,060
- I'm lactose intolerant. - Right.
11
00:00:24,070 --> 00:00:26,550
- So,gas. - Yeah,got it.
12
00:00:27,220 --> 00:00:30,390
Well... good night.
13
00:00:44,270 --> 00:00:45,540
What are you doing?
14
00:00:45,550 --> 00:00:48,210
Oh,there's a draft.
15
00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:50,620
I didn't feel a draft.
16
00:00:50,630 --> 00:00:53,770
Why don't we just go into,uh,your...
17
00:00:53,780 --> 00:00:56,670
Yeah,you know what,maybe we should slow things down a little.
18
00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,520
No,no,I didn't mean to go into your apartment to go fast.
19
00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:01,540
No,I know.
20
00:01:01,550 --> 00:01:04,440
I know what you meant,it's just... this is only our first date.
21
00:01:04,450 --> 00:01:05,840
Yeah,okay,sure,no problem.
22
00:01:05,850 --> 00:01:10,710
Why don't we just figure out where we're going and when we want to get there,
23
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:15,490
and then rate of speed equals distance over time.
24
00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:19,520
Solve for R.
25
00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:22,080
Or we could just wing it.
26
00:01:22,090 --> 00:01:24,720
That might work,too.
27
00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:26,820
- Good night,Leonard. - Good night.
28
00:01:31,770 --> 00:01:34,090
He's coming-- screensaver!
29
00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:42,220
Oh,hey,Leonard. How was your date?
30
00:01:42,230 --> 00:01:44,290
Bite me.
31
00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:48,870
Sheldon,how could you just sit there and let them spy on me?
32
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:49,880
They were clever,Leonard.
33
00:01:49,890 --> 00:01:54,450
They exploited my complete lack of interest in what you were doing.
34
00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,070
You should thank us.
35
00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:00,800
When future generations try to determine why your relationship with Penny crashed and burned,
36
00:02:00,810 --> 00:02:04,100
this right here is the black box.
37
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:06,750
What are you talking about? The date went fine.
38
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,760
Dude,she said she wants to slow things down.
39
00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,880
Okay,so she said she wants to slow things down.
40
00:02:11,890 --> 00:02:15,850
It's like saying,"I'm really enjoying this meal.
41
00:02:15,860 --> 00:02:18,230
I'm going to slow down and savor it."
42
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,600
No,it's like,"This fish tastes bad,
43
00:02:21,610 --> 00:02:26,850
so I'm gonna slow down and spit it out."
44
00:02:27,660 --> 00:02:30,010
- You being the fish. - I'm not the fish.
45
00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:32,250
Oh,really? Did you make a second date?
46
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:34,150
Well,no,we sort of decided to wing it.
47
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,270
Oh,even I know that's lame.
48
00:02:37,820 --> 00:02:40,490
Okay,all right,let's assume your hypothesis.
49
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:43,960
We went to dinner,we talked,we laughed,we kissed.
50
00:02:43,970 --> 00:02:45,820
Where could I have possibly gone wrong?
51
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:47,010
Think back,Leonard.
52
00:02:47,020 --> 00:02:49,140
The littlest things can set women off.
53
00:02:49,150 --> 00:02:54,020
Like,"Hey,the waitress is hot,I bet we could get her to come home with us."
54
00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:55,840
Or,"How much does your mom weigh?
55
00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:58,230
I want to know what I'm getting into."
56
00:02:58,240 --> 00:02:59,650
I didn't say anything like that.
57
00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:02,540
Good,'cause they don't work.
58
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,260
They also don't care for it if you stare at them and hyperventilate.
59
00:03:05,270 --> 00:03:08,330
Sadly,that's my home run swing.
60
00:03:08,340 --> 00:03:10,640
Look,everything went fine.
61
00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:14,940
I didn't even have to refer to my impromptu conversation starters.
62
00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:17,790
That woman across the hall is into me.
63
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,610
Let's go to the tape.
64
00:03:21,350 --> 00:03:23,710
Look at her reaction to the good night kiss.
65
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:28,230
No change in respiration,pupils un-dilated,no flushing of the chest.
66
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,150
Nice close-up,by the way.
67
00:03:30,620 --> 00:03:33,810
Interesting. Her jaws are clenched: no tongue access.
68
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:37,610
Clearly a bad sign amongst mating humans.
69
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,250
That's not a bad sign.
70
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:43,540
Please,you might as well have been two iguana with no dewlap enlargement.
71
00:03:44,020 --> 00:03:46,780
And the worst sign of all is you're here and not there.
72
00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:50,940
I'm not there because I'm taking things slow,which,
73
00:03:50,950 --> 00:03:55,050
by the way,compared to you guys,approaches warp speed.
74
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,490
And take down that camera.
75
00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,820
He was a lot more fun when he had no hope.
76
00:04:05,340 --> 00:04:07,200
Give him time.
77
00:04:07,210 --> 00:04:14,860
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=- proudly presents
78
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-=http://sfile.ydy.com=- sync:???
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The Big Bang Theory Season02 Episode01
80
00:04:40,210 --> 00:04:41,480
Oh,hi,Penny.
81
00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:45,550
FYI,the hot water is inadequate on machine two,so colors only,
82
00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:48,460
and four is still releasing the fabric softener too early in the cycle,
83
00:04:48,490 --> 00:04:50,230
so I'd avoid using that for your delicates.
84
00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,220
Thanks.
85
00:04:54,930 --> 00:04:56,200
Oh,good Lord...
86
00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:59,820
why don't you just take your clothes down to the river and beat them with a rock?
87
00:05:04,660 --> 00:05:07,740
Sheldon,can I ask you a question?
88
00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:12,210
I would prefer that you not,but I won't go so far as to forbid it.
89
00:05:12,220 --> 00:05:15,270
All right,I heard yes,so...
90
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,070
Okay,here's my question.
91
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:22,190
Has Leonard ever dated, you know,a regular girl?
92
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,570
Well,I assume you're not referring to digestive regularity.
93
00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:30,810
Because I've come to learn that such inquiries are inappropriate.
94
00:05:31,740 --> 00:05:36,760
No,I meant,has he ever been involved with someone who wasn't a brainiac?
95
00:05:36,780 --> 00:05:43,170
Well,a few years ago,he did go out with a woman who had a PhD in French literature.
96
00:05:44,090 --> 00:05:46,180
How is that not a brainiac?
97
00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:49,250
Well,for one thing,she was French.
98
00:05:50,740 --> 00:05:53,700
For another,it was literature.
99
00:05:59,370 --> 00:06:01,220
So...
100
00:06:02,230 --> 00:06:07,000
do you think that if Leonard and I keep dating,he'll eventually get bored with me?
101
00:06:12,980 --> 00:06:15,500
- That depends. - On what?
102
00:06:15,510 --> 00:06:19,160
- Do you have a working knowledge of quantum physics? - No.
103
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:23,030
- Do you speak Klingon? - No.
104
00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:26,200
- You know any card tricks? - Okay,you know what...
105
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:29,350
I get it.
106
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:32,840
Leonard has no business being involved with a waitress-slash-actress
107
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:37,490
who felt so insecure that she lied to him about finishing community college.
108
00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,070
Why would you lie about that?
109
00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:42,200
Well,he was going on and on about this college and that grad school,and I...
110
00:06:42,220 --> 00:06:45,740
I didn't want him to think I was some kind of stupid loser.
111
00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:50,530
You thought the opposite of "stupid loser" was "community college graduate"?
112
00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:59,480
You know,there are a lot of successful people in this country who are community college graduates.
113
00:06:59,490 --> 00:07:02,010
Yeah,but you are neither.
114
00:07:03,630 --> 00:07:06,030
Right. Okay,look,this is between you and me.
115
00:07:06,040 --> 00:07:09,560
You cannot tell Leonard any of this.
116
00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:13,290
- You're asking me to keep a secret? - Yeah.
117
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:17,930
Well,I'm sorry,but you would have had to express that desire before revealing the secret,
118
00:07:17,940 --> 00:07:22,260
so that I could choose whether or not I wanted to accept the covenant of secret keeping.
119
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,300
You can't impose a secret on an ex post facto basis.
120
00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:29,250
What?
121
00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:31,670
Secret keeping is a complicated endeavor.
122
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:34,130
One has to be concerned not only about what one says,
123
00:07:34,140 --> 00:07:37,310
but about facial expressions, autonomic reflexes.
124
00:07:37,320 --> 00:07:43,620
When I try to deceive,I myself have more nervous tics than a Lyme disease research facility.
125
00:07:48,820 --> 00:07:50,240
It's a joke.
126
00:07:50,250 --> 00:07:52,480
It relies on the homonymic relationship between "tick,"
127
00:07:52,490 --> 00:07:57,440
the bloodsucking arachnid,and "tic," the involuntary muscular contraction.
128
00:08:01,060 --> 00:08:03,730
I made it up myself.
129
00:08:05,090 --> 00:08:10,290
Okay,look,if Leonard finds out that I lied,I will absolutely die of embarrassment.
130
00:08:10,310 --> 00:08:11,510
Physiologically impossible.
131
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:13,360
Oh,Sheldon,please.
132
00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:16,750
Look,I am asking you as a friend.
133
00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:21,810
So you're saying that friendship contains within it an inherent obligation to maintain confidences?
134
00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:23,510
Well,yeah.
135
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,880
Interesting.
136
00:08:25,890 --> 00:08:28,680
One more question,and perhaps I should have led with this.
137
00:08:28,690 --> 00:08:31,390
When did we become friends?
138
00:08:33,150 --> 00:08:37,300
i.e.,I couldn't become Green Lantern unless I was chosen by the Guardians of Oa,
139
00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:42,480
but given enough start-up capital and an adequate research facility,I could be Batman.
140
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:50,500
- You could be Batman? - Sure. I'm Batman. See?
141
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,470
- Hi,guys. - Hi,Penny.
142
00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:00,570
Penny,if you're not doing anything Friday night,I thought maybe we could go see a movie.
143
00:09:00,580 --> 00:09:03,550
Oh,um,you know,I think I have the dinner shift on Friday.
144
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,190
Okay,what about Saturday?
145
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,340
You know,I'm not sure; the manager hasn't posted the schedule yet.
146
00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:10,470
- How about I let you know? - Great.
147
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,450
So you just let me know when you know. Okay,so...
148
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:16,500
Oh,God,I am the bad fish.
149
00:09:17,970 --> 00:09:19,710
What did I do wrong?
150
00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:21,850
Why are you asking me?
151
00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:25,190
I have no information about your interactions with Penny other than what you have provided me,
152
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,600
nor do I have any method of learning such things.
153
00:09:30,610 --> 00:09:32,690
- What does that mean? - Nothing.
154
00:09:32,700 --> 00:09:35,100
You seem to be implying an informational back-channel
155
00:09:35,110 --> 00:09:37,420
between me and Penny where obviously none exists.
156
00:09:37,430 --> 00:09:38,460
No,I didn't.
157
00:09:38,470 --> 00:09:42,220
I just think you need to be careful how you phrase things,sir.
158
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,150
What's going on with you?
159
00:09:46,170 --> 00:09:48,080
I might ask you the same question.
160
00:09:48,090 --> 00:09:52,000
Why do you insist on attempting to drag me into matters which have nothing to do with me,
161
00:09:52,020 --> 00:09:56,130
but exist between you and Penny, a person to whom I barely speak?
162
00:10:03,780 --> 00:10:06,480
What's wrong with your face?
163
00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:09,780
There's no reason to bring my looks into this.
164
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:13,260
- Good day,Leonard. - What
165
00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:15,530
I said,"Good day."
166
00:10:18,420 --> 00:10:20,450
Good day?
167
00:10:22,030 --> 00:10:24,430
Also today,we have a fresh-caught Alaska salmon,
168
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,030
and that's served with a teriyaki glaze and sticky rice.
169
00:10:27,050 --> 00:10:27,800
Our soup of the day is...
170
00:10:27,820 --> 00:10:30,600
You must release me from my oath.
171
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,470
Sheldon,I'm working.
172
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,370
Why don't you take a minute to decide?
173
00:10:39,750 --> 00:10:41,330
I can't keep your secret,Penny.
174
00:10:41,350 --> 00:10:45,990
I'm going to fold like an energy-based de novo protein in conformational space.
175
00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:49,110
Like a Renaissance tryptich.
176
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,050
Like a cheap suit.
177
00:10:51,490 --> 00:10:54,280
Look,why is it so hard for you to keep one little secret?
178
00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:56,360
I'm constitutionally incapable.
179
00:10:56,370 --> 00:11:00,240
That's why I was refused clearance for a very prestigious government research fellowship
180
00:11:00,250 --> 00:11:03,610
at a secret military supercollider located beneath a fake agricultural station
181
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:07,180
12.5 miles southeast of Traverse City,Michigan.
182
00:11:11,850 --> 00:11:14,810
Which you did not hear about from me.
183
00:11:15,490 --> 00:11:18,550
Look,just forget I told you about me...
184
00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:20,840
not graduating from community college,okay?
185
00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:22,450
Forget? You want me to forget?
186
00:11:22,460 --> 00:11:24,930
This mind does not forget.
187
00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:29,280
I haven't forgotten a single thing since the day my mother stopped breastfeeding me.
188
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:32,640
- It was a drizzly Tuesday. - Okay...
189
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,210
Look,you promised me you would keep my secret,
190
00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:38,490
so you're just gonna have to figure out a way to do it.
191
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,950
Leonard,I'm moving out.
192
00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:44,800
What do you mean you're moving out? Why?
193
00:11:44,810 --> 00:11:47,720
There doesn't have to be a reason.
194
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:50,580
Yeah,there kinda does.
195
00:11:50,590 --> 00:11:51,820
Not necessarily.
196
00:11:51,830 --> 00:11:54,700
This is a classic example of Munchausen's Trilemma.
197
00:11:54,710 --> 00:11:58,910
Either the reason is predicated on a series of sub-reasons leading to an infinite regression,
198
00:11:58,930 --> 00:12:01,290
or it tracks back to arbitrary axiomatic statements,
199
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:02,730
or it's ultimately circular,
200
00:12:02,740 --> 00:12:05,940
i.e.I'm moving out because I'm moving out.
201
00:12:07,990 --> 00:12:09,290
I'm still confused.
202
00:12:09,310 --> 00:12:12,650
Leonard,I don't see how I could have made it any simpler.
203
00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:16,750
Hey,qu'est que s'up?
204
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:19,850
We just got back from that exhibit of those plasticized human cadavers.
205
00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:24,080
And some of those skinless chicks were Hot!
206
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:27,900
If you'll excuse me,I'm going to pack.
207
00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:32,960
That's kind of an overreaction to a little harmless necrophilia.
208
00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:37,380
It's not you,Howard. He says he's moving out.
209
00:12:37,390 --> 00:12:39,270
What did you do?
210
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,900
Did you change the contrast or brightness settings on the television?
211
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:43,500
No.
212
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,230
Did you take a Band-Aid off in front of him?
213
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:47,210
No.
214
00:12:47,220 --> 00:12:49,730
Did you buy generic ketchup, forget to rinse the sink,
215
00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:52,710
talk to him through the bathroom door?
216
00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:56,830
Adjust the thermostat,cook with cilantro,pronounce the "t" in often?
217
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,330
No.
218
00:13:00,900 --> 00:13:04,170
Did you make fun of trains?
219
00:13:05,330 --> 00:13:08,400
No,I didn't do anything. He's just gone insane.
220
00:13:08,410 --> 00:13:11,460
Well,we all knew this day was coming.
221
00:13:12,870 --> 00:13:14,760
Well,that was fast.
222
00:13:14,770 --> 00:13:17,860
It's my pre-packed disaster evacuation bag.
223
00:13:18,700 --> 00:13:22,000
It's recommended by the Department of Homeland Security.
224
00:13:22,020 --> 00:13:24,390
And Sarah Connor.
225
00:13:25,110 --> 00:13:26,840
Where are you going to live?
226
00:13:26,850 --> 00:13:29,730
Until I find a permanent place,I will stay with friends.
227
00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:32,000
Bye.
228
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,220
Well... you can't stay with me.
229
00:13:36,230 --> 00:13:38,120
I have a teeny-tiny apartment.
230
00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:42,490
Excuse me,but isn't hosting guests an aspect of "manushya yajna,"
231
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:47,580
one of the five central religious duties or sacrifices of the Hindu householder?
232
00:13:50,570 --> 00:13:53,580
I hate trains.
233
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:02,160
Don't be ridiculous,you love trains.
234
00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:05,070
Yes,I do. Come on.
235
00:14:06,530 --> 00:14:09,170
See you later,Leonard.
236
00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:17,360
This could work.
237
00:14:26,230 --> 00:14:28,340
This is a very old building.
238
00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:31,480
60 years. It used to be a watch factory.
239
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,240
What?
240
00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:37,600
Don't you worry about the residual radium from the luminous dials?
241
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:40,620
Not until now!
242
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:44,210
I can't believe I didn't bring my Geiger counter.
243
00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:47,390
I had it on my bed and I didn't pack it.
244
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,980
Well,if you're not comfortable staying here,Sheldon...
245
00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:51,700
I'm kidding,I packed it.
246
00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,150
It was a joke.
247
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:56,100
I was subverting the conversational expectations.
248
00:14:56,110 --> 00:15:00,080
I believe they call that the,uh,ol' switcharoo.
249
00:15:01,070 --> 00:15:03,510
Terrific.
250
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,360
Is that woman Aishwarya Rai?
251
00:15:08,380 --> 00:15:10,150
Yes,isn't she an amazing actress?
252
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:13,760
Actually,I'd say she's a poor man's Madhuri Dixit.
253
00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:16,010
How dare you!
254
00:15:16,020 --> 00:15:18,180
Aishwarya Rai is a goddess.
255
00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:22,810
By comparison,Madhuri Dixit is a leprous prostitute.
256
00:15:24,130 --> 00:15:27,510
Sorry,I didn't mean to offend you.
257
00:15:28,190 --> 00:15:31,770
Obviously,you're not that familiar with Indian cinema.
258
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,150
Who is it?
259
00:15:41,180 --> 00:15:43,690
Stripper-Gram!
260
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:49,540
Tag,you're It.
261
00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,700
Shouldn't you put him in a brown paper bag and set him on fire?
262
00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:00,700
I've never slept on an air mattress before.
263
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:04,070
No lumbar support whatsoever.
264
00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:08,230
Maybe you'd be happier on a park bench.
265
00:16:08,570 --> 00:16:11,780
I don't see any way to get a park bench in here.
266
00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:13,450
Do you want to switch?
267
00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:14,810
No,that's fine.
268
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:18,500
I'm perfectly comfortable sleeping on a bouncy castle.
269
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:21,890
Get out of bed. We're switching.
270
00:16:21,900 --> 00:16:25,070
- Now,only if you want to. - Just get in the bed!
271
00:16:25,490 --> 00:16:27,340
What's going on?
272
00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:30,910
Are you boys roughhousing?
273
00:16:31,430 --> 00:16:33,600
We're just talking,Ma!
274
00:16:33,610 --> 00:16:36,150
If you don't settle down right now,
275
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:41,150
I'm not going to let you have any more sleepovers!
276
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:44,990
For God's sake,Ma,I'm 27 years old!
277
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,470
And it's not even a school night!
278
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,820
Comfy now?
279
00:16:59,300 --> 00:17:03,070
That poster of Halle Berry is a little unnerving.
280
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:05,720
So don't look at it.
281
00:17:05,730 --> 00:17:07,820
She's like my fourth favorite Catwoman.
282
00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:08,650
No kidding.
283
00:17:08,670 --> 00:17:12,380
Yeah,Julie Newmar,Michelle Pfieffer,Eartha Kitt,and then her.
284
00:17:12,390 --> 00:17:14,100
What about Lee Merriweather?
285
00:17:14,110 --> 00:17:16,950
Oh,I forgot about Lee Merriweather.
286
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:19,780
Well,I'm glad that's settled.
287
00:17:19,790 --> 00:17:22,920
That makes Halle Berry my fifth favorite Catwoman.
288
00:17:22,930 --> 00:17:25,960
It's Julie Newmar,Michelle Pfieffer, Eartha Kitt,Lee Merriweather--
289
00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:28,260
Please,I'm begging you. Go to sleep.
290
00:17:28,270 --> 00:17:31,690
I'm trying. I'm counting Catwomen.
291
00:17:35,870 --> 00:17:38,580
She did make a fine mutant in the X-Men movies,though.
292
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:39,550
Oh,for God's sake.
293
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:40,860
She's not my favorite of the X-Men.
294
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,120
In order that would be: Wolverine,Cyclops--
295
00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,680
Oh,wait,I forgot Professor X.
296
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:49,050
Professor X,Wolverine,Cyclops, Iceman,then Storm,Angel,the Beast--
297
00:17:49,070 --> 00:17:51,090
No,wait,Nightcrawler.
298
00:17:51,110 --> 00:17:56,300
Professor X,Nightcrawler,Wolverine, Cyclops,Iceman,then Storm,Angel...
299
00:17:56,720 --> 00:17:58,910
I'm coming!
300
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:06,700
There he is. There my old buddy bud bud.
301
00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:13,050
What's with him?
302
00:18:13,060 --> 00:18:15,560
Koothrappali dumped him on me, and he couldn't get to sleep,
303
00:18:15,580 --> 00:18:20,380
so I gave him a glass of warm milk with a handful of my mom's Valium in it...
304
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:25,080
but he still wouldn't shut up,so tag,you're It.
305
00:18:28,970 --> 00:18:31,780
I'm ba-a-a-ack.
306
00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:33,980
I still don't know why you left.
307
00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:35,270
I can't tell you.
308
00:18:35,280 --> 00:18:36,590
Why not?
309
00:18:36,600 --> 00:18:39,700
I promised Penny.
310
00:18:39,710 --> 00:18:41,280
You promised Penny what?
311
00:18:41,290 --> 00:18:44,550
I wouldn't tell you the secret.
312
00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:51,030
What secret? Tell me the secret.
313
00:18:54,010 --> 00:18:57,570
Mom smokes in the car.
314
00:18:58,810 --> 00:19:02,680
Jesus is okay with it but we can't tell Dad.
315
00:19:04,330 --> 00:19:06,730
Not that secret. The other secret.
316
00:19:06,740 --> 00:19:09,740
- I'm Batman-- Shh! - Damn it! Sheldon!
317
00:19:13,490 --> 00:19:17,050
You said Penny told you a secret. What's the secret?
318
00:19:17,060 --> 00:19:21,080
Okay,I'll tell you,but you can't tell Leonard.
319
00:19:22,210 --> 00:19:24,290
I promise.
320
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:27,060
Penny lied about graduating from community college
321
00:19:27,070 --> 00:19:31,150
'cause she's afraid she's not smart enough for Leonard.
322
00:19:34,620 --> 00:19:37,880
So it's nothing I did? It's her problem?
323
00:19:37,890 --> 00:19:41,180
I drank milk that tasted funny.
324
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:48,070
Penny thinks I'm too smart for her. That's ridiculous.
325
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,690
I know.
326
00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:54,350
Most of your work is extremely derivative.
327
00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,280
And don't worry,that's not a secret.
328
00:19:57,290 --> 00:20:00,200
Everybody knows.
329
00:20:05,060 --> 00:20:08,740
Listen,I know what's been bothering you about us,and I have the answer.
330
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:09,680
What are you talking about?
331
00:20:09,700 --> 00:20:12,390
Okay,first,I want to say that it's not Sheldon's fault.
332
00:20:12,410 --> 00:20:14,360
He tried very hard to keep your secret.
333
00:20:14,370 --> 00:20:18,310
If Howard hadn't drugged him,he would've taken it to his grave.
334
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:19,360
He told you?
335
00:20:19,370 --> 00:20:20,930
Yes,but it's okay.
336
00:20:20,940 --> 00:20:24,980
Now that we know what the problem is there's a simple solution.
337
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,380
Pasadena City College?
338
00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:31,300
A place for fun,a place for knowledge.
339
00:20:33,540 --> 00:20:37,860
See,this man here is playing hackey-sack, and this girl's gonna be a paralegal.
340
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:40,390
Oh,I get it.
341
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:45,610
Because Dr. Leonard Hofstadter can't date a girl without a fancy college degree.
342
00:20:45,630 --> 00:20:47,240
Well,it's really not that fancy.
343
00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:49,910
It's just a city college.
344
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,640
Right,but I have to have some sort of degree to date you?
345
00:20:52,650 --> 00:20:54,380
That doesn't matter to me at all.
346
00:20:54,390 --> 00:20:57,060
So it's fine with you if I'm not smart.
347
00:20:57,070 --> 00:20:59,950
Absolutely.
348
00:21:03,670 --> 00:21:07,020
Okay,this time,I know where I went wrong.
349
00:21:09,190 --> 00:21:11,010
Bite me