1
00:00:04,299 --> 00:00:05,646
Hey, guys, come on.
2
00:00:07,089 --> 00:00:09,762
[Panting]
3
00:00:10,597 --> 00:00:12,371
We need a doctor!
4
00:00:13,338 --> 00:00:14,877
We need a doctor!
5
00:00:15,827 --> 00:00:17,278
Stay with us, man.
6
00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:20,940
Oh, dude, this would
suck so bad if you died.
7
00:00:21,279 --> 00:00:23,627
The Ders!
He's unleashed The Ders!
8
00:00:33,472 --> 00:00:39,472
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
9
00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:43,097
Any minute.
10
00:00:43,464 --> 00:00:45,771
Man, I swear I saw
three out here yesterday.
11
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,032
No way.
12
00:00:47,057 --> 00:00:48,995
- Must have been a family.
- Or a gang.
13
00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:50,510
Squirrel gangs are
a real thing.
14
00:00:50,526 --> 00:00:53,971
No, it's true. I saw a squirrel
get busted into a squirrel gang.
15
00:00:53,986 --> 00:00:56,190
- Jumped in, sure.
- Maybe he's getting jumped out.
16
00:00:56,205 --> 00:00:58,377
- They do both.
- That's true.
17
00:00:58,393 --> 00:01:00,268
Hey, do your squirrel call.
Let's get some action.
18
00:01:00,283 --> 00:01:01,907
Oh yeah, here you go.
19
00:01:02,260 --> 00:01:05,308
[High-pitched whinnying]
20
00:01:09,619 --> 00:01:10,595
Here you go.
21
00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:12,020
Put it in the box.
22
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:15,958
Thank you, sir.
I'll check it.
23
00:01:15,974 --> 00:01:17,842
- Looks like we're getting full.
- Oh, my God.
24
00:01:17,853 --> 00:01:20,025
- You see those mailman calves?
- I hate that man.
25
00:01:20,040 --> 00:01:21,906
He comes over here.
"Here, take the mail."
26
00:01:21,931 --> 00:01:23,261
It's your job to put
it in the box, man.
27
00:01:23,276 --> 00:01:25,677
- Oh, hey, big naturals.
- Nice.
28
00:01:25,695 --> 00:01:27,740
You like that.
Automo-bills.
29
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,540
Ders! Hey, check it out.
30
00:01:29,565 --> 00:01:31,870
You've got mail
from Crank Yankers.
31
00:01:31,885 --> 00:01:34,549
I wonder if I'm still banned
in all AOL chatrooms.
32
00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:35,891
Chuck it, man.
I don't need it.
33
00:01:35,916 --> 00:01:37,971
What are you talking about?
You didn't even open it, man.
34
00:01:37,995 --> 00:01:40,674
Could be a signed set
photo from booty call.
35
00:01:40,689 --> 00:01:42,573
Jamie Foxx?
Didn't you ask him for one?
36
00:01:42,588 --> 00:01:43,935
Yes, I did, but
that's not what it is.
37
00:01:43,950 --> 00:01:45,373
Hey, man, come on!
Don't open that!
38
00:01:45,395 --> 00:01:48,667
Ooh, Irvine Central
High School Alumni Swim Meet.
39
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:51,015
See, I knew it'd be
something you like.
40
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:52,804
I'm not going,
and I never will.
41
00:01:52,827 --> 00:01:54,570
Whoa, attitude.
42
00:01:54,593 --> 00:01:56,484
Dude!
43
00:01:56,509 --> 00:01:57,814
Why aren't we
going to a place?
44
00:01:57,829 --> 00:02:01,267
I'm not going because the guy
who runs the event, Troy Torpey,
45
00:02:01,291 --> 00:02:03,372
got me voted off the state
relay team in high school.
46
00:02:03,397 --> 00:02:06,178
Okay, that doesn't seem right.
How could he do that?
47
00:02:06,201 --> 00:02:08,038
He told everyone on
the team that I got a boner
48
00:02:08,053 --> 00:02:10,045
in the showers in the locker
room, which isn't true.
49
00:02:10,069 --> 00:02:11,303
So what? You got
a boner in the shower.
50
00:02:11,319 --> 00:02:13,979
- No, I didn't!
- I get boners all the time.
51
00:02:14,344 --> 00:02:16,293
I actually have
one right now.
52
00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:19,138
Peeping this hog.
53
00:02:19,573 --> 00:02:21,378
This monster.
54
00:02:21,388 --> 00:02:22,994
Peep this hog.
55
00:02:23,010 --> 00:02:25,752
You actually can't see it
right now because it's so small.
56
00:02:25,775 --> 00:02:27,310
Anyways, dude, it's all good.
57
00:02:27,325 --> 00:02:30,607
This is your chance to go back and show
all those pricks from high school
58
00:02:30,623 --> 00:02:32,342
what an awesome dude
you've become, man.
59
00:02:32,365 --> 00:02:34,021
Jocks, they peak
in high school, all right?
60
00:02:34,045 --> 00:02:36,515
But nerds, they
become Skrillex.
61
00:02:36,540 --> 00:02:39,899
Hey, guys, I was kidding,
I've got a huge one.
62
00:02:39,924 --> 00:02:42,760
Like, I wasn't in either
of those groups in high school.
63
00:02:42,772 --> 00:02:44,173
- I...
- me either.
64
00:02:44,188 --> 00:02:46,493
- I, like, did my own thing.
- Right, exactly.
65
00:02:46,515 --> 00:02:48,378
You just sit in the corner.
You watch them.
66
00:02:48,401 --> 00:02:50,597
You study them.
You learn how to laugh on cue.
67
00:02:50,607 --> 00:02:52,443
[Forced laughter]
68
00:02:52,465 --> 00:02:54,403
- Yes! - We would have been
best friends in high school.
69
00:02:54,425 --> 00:02:56,399
Best friends!
Believe it!
70
00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:58,904
[Laughter]
71
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,944
We would have been
best friends in high school.
72
00:03:00,959 --> 00:03:02,761
- Sorry, Blake.
- I don't care.
73
00:03:02,784 --> 00:03:04,600
- Yeah, you do.
- No. No, no. No, it's not a problem.
74
00:03:04,615 --> 00:03:07,178
I mean, I hung out with
a bevy of ladies at lunch.
75
00:03:07,193 --> 00:03:09,451
- The lunch ladies, right?
- Oh, well, you know.
76
00:03:09,466 --> 00:03:11,443
We would just kind
of hang out in the cafeteria...
77
00:03:11,467 --> 00:03:14,053
- 'Cause they were lunch ladies.
- We would just sling taco boats...
78
00:03:14,068 --> 00:03:15,404
No, we know the story
of the lunch ladies.
79
00:03:15,419 --> 00:03:17,575
No, but they had
the stories, okay?
80
00:03:17,590 --> 00:03:19,761
- These girls had jokes!
- The lunch ladies.
81
00:03:19,786 --> 00:03:23,244
Yes, I worked in the cafeteria.
They were lunch friends to me.
82
00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:27,519
Ders, we are going to that dumb,
stupid, horrible-sounding swim thing,
83
00:03:27,539 --> 00:03:29,586
and you are gonna
go up to torpey,
84
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,976
and you're gonna say, "We're
not in high school anymore,"
85
00:03:31,999 --> 00:03:33,137
and you're gonna
prove to him
86
00:03:33,153 --> 00:03:37,332
that you are the freaking
top dog of them all, besides me.
87
00:03:37,353 --> 00:03:38,806
All right, okay.
Let's do it.
88
00:03:38,829 --> 00:03:40,988
- I'm gonna go pack my speedos.
- All right!
89
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,097
Wait, wait, wait, whoa!
90
00:03:42,104 --> 00:03:45,049
- We were watching squirrels, though.
- Yes, we were. I'm sorry, I just...
91
00:03:45,064 --> 00:03:46,296
Back to the squirrels again.
92
00:03:46,321 --> 00:03:47,508
Both: ♪ Back to the squirrels again ♪
93
00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:50,073
♪ Back to the squirrels again,
back to the squirrels again ♪
94
00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:52,182
♪ We're looking at squirrels ♪
95
00:03:52,205 --> 00:03:54,086
♪ In the front yard ♪
96
00:03:56,129 --> 00:03:57,988
This is about
to be so cool.
97
00:03:58,012 --> 00:04:00,434
I'm so pumped, dude.
Ders is gonna kill it.
98
00:04:00,925 --> 00:04:02,503
Yeah, I'm excited.
99
00:04:02,512 --> 00:04:06,857
Hey, do you remember how we used to always
crank it to Ders' old yearbooks?
100
00:04:06,877 --> 00:04:08,560
Yeah, absolutely.
Hottest high school ever.
101
00:04:08,585 --> 00:04:09,648
The hottest!
102
00:04:09,655 --> 00:04:11,663
Yeah, I was always
into Aurora Brown,
103
00:04:11,678 --> 00:04:13,733
and then I got into Laura
Rocca for a while,
104
00:04:13,749 --> 00:04:15,115
but now I found
this new chick,
105
00:04:15,136 --> 00:04:17,636
this banging black chick
on Ders' swim team,
106
00:04:17,644 --> 00:04:18,878
that I've been peeping,
107
00:04:18,893 --> 00:04:21,847
and I've really been building
something very special with her.
108
00:04:21,854 --> 00:04:24,465
It's, like, more than masturbation.
It's, like,
109
00:04:25,105 --> 00:04:26,379
deeper.
110
00:04:26,401 --> 00:04:28,614
So, like, you don't even
masturbate to her?
111
00:04:28,629 --> 00:04:30,653
No, I do, but it's, like,
112
00:04:31,553 --> 00:04:32,928
deeper.
113
00:04:32,943 --> 00:04:35,815
I get it, man. I mean, that whole
swim team is stacked, dude.
114
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:36,872
They're a good-looking crew.
115
00:04:36,895 --> 00:04:39,238
Yeah, there's, like, that
Asa Akira-looking Asian chick?
116
00:04:39,263 --> 00:04:40,302
- Mama!
- Ooh!
117
00:04:40,318 --> 00:04:43,247
- She's got my jeans steaming.
- Oh, I freaking...
118
00:04:43,271 --> 00:04:44,597
I love chicks.
119
00:04:44,622 --> 00:04:47,252
All these chicks are about
to be at this party today, man!
120
00:04:47,275 --> 00:04:48,613
They're definitely
gonna be there today.
121
00:04:48,638 --> 00:04:50,241
That's why I'm so freaking
psyched and pumped.
122
00:04:50,256 --> 00:04:53,775
Guys, I'm gonna ship out,
so wish me luck.
123
00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:57,697
Actually, we were gonna
go with, if it's cool.
124
00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:00,017
- All right, cool!
- All right! - Yes!
125
00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,353
All right, cool.
126
00:05:01,377 --> 00:05:03,190
I actually feel
I need to change.
127
00:05:03,213 --> 00:05:04,638
I feel like I'm
a little underdressed.
128
00:05:04,662 --> 00:05:08,286
Yeah, me, too. You got to have the perfect
outfit for these type of occasions.
129
00:05:08,974 --> 00:05:10,785
Ders, are you ready to...
130
00:05:11,306 --> 00:05:12,361
hiyah!
131
00:05:12,384 --> 00:05:14,072
This torpey dude or what?
132
00:05:14,095 --> 00:05:15,799
- You know it, man.
- Sick, man.
133
00:05:15,814 --> 00:05:18,705
Oh, wait up, before
we go in there, um,
134
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:20,068
just keep an eye
on me and Adam,
135
00:05:20,091 --> 00:05:21,318
'cause we're not
the strongest swimmers.
136
00:05:21,341 --> 00:05:22,887
- I'm very drown-able.
- Okay.
137
00:05:22,912 --> 00:05:24,553
And, you know,
the deep end,
138
00:05:24,567 --> 00:05:26,882
it just will scare
the chum out of me,
139
00:05:26,887 --> 00:05:28,410
- if you know what I mean.
- Semen.
140
00:05:28,433 --> 00:05:29,581
No, 'rhea.
141
00:05:29,604 --> 00:05:32,511
Oh, when I get really scared,
I secrete semen.
142
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,441
- It's true.
- You'll be fine, okay?
143
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:37,425
If you fall in, just don't
panic, and remember...
144
00:05:37,433 --> 00:05:39,098
here, I'll just...
quick lesson:
145
00:05:39,123 --> 00:05:42,601
"Hov," right, to "hanging
with Mr. Cooper,"
146
00:05:42,624 --> 00:05:45,015
and then up for an
"Asian girl laughing."
147
00:05:45,029 --> 00:05:46,241
Oh, yeah, I know
about that.
148
00:05:46,264 --> 00:05:47,382
- Hov!
- Hov!
149
00:05:47,397 --> 00:05:50,069
Hanging with Mr. Cooper.
Asian girl laughing.
150
00:05:50,084 --> 00:05:52,201
Hov. Hanging
with Mr. Cooper.
151
00:05:52,216 --> 00:05:53,294
Asian girl laughing.
152
00:05:53,318 --> 00:05:56,287
Oh, ay, chihuahua.
153
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:58,312
She-Hulk's got a ride.
154
00:06:00,283 --> 00:06:01,887
Oh, my God, you guys,
155
00:06:01,910 --> 00:06:03,552
it's my dream girl
from high school.
156
00:06:03,577 --> 00:06:05,718
- What?
- Magda Marzuski!
157
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,244
- Nice escalade.
- Oh, thanks.
158
00:06:09,096 --> 00:06:11,695
- Actually, it's Magda Torpey now.
- What?
159
00:06:14,629 --> 00:06:16,979
- Anders Boner-vik.
- Anders
160
00:06:17,004 --> 00:06:19,194
- Look at you.
- Oh.
161
00:06:19,219 --> 00:06:20,584
Troy Torpey-nis.
162
00:06:20,599 --> 00:06:21,771
- Tor-penis?
- Yeah.
163
00:06:21,788 --> 00:06:22,913
That's funny, dude.
164
00:06:22,936 --> 00:06:25,490
I'm just messing around.
You look good.
165
00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:27,792
Obviously you
remember Magda.
166
00:06:27,817 --> 00:06:29,772
Say hello to the little
monsters she bore for me,
167
00:06:29,797 --> 00:06:31,531
Declan and Caleb.
168
00:06:31,539 --> 00:06:33,437
You better believe I got
them in the pool too.
169
00:06:33,453 --> 00:06:35,415
Declan just took down
the last Chas Morton ten
170
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:37,400
and under N.A.G.
record in Orlando.
171
00:06:37,412 --> 00:06:40,075
No kidding.
Orlando, fast pool.
172
00:06:40,793 --> 00:06:42,059
We should race if
you're up for it.
173
00:06:42,066 --> 00:06:43,972
All right, Caleb, Declan,
hold your breath.
174
00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:46,093
Start now, exercises.
175
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:49,099
Two, three, four.
176
00:06:49,124 --> 00:06:52,045
Oh, my God, you guys, he's still the man.
I can't do this.
177
00:06:52,555 --> 00:06:53,946
Ders, it's fine.
178
00:06:53,971 --> 00:06:58,801
He's just handsome and rich and banging
Magda, The "Lady Rock" Johnson,
179
00:06:58,817 --> 00:07:01,614
and you have...
180
00:07:03,267 --> 00:07:05,110
Blake, what
does Ders have?
181
00:07:05,992 --> 00:07:08,109
Ders, you have--
182
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:09,914
lips.
183
00:07:19,365 --> 00:07:21,099
{pub}Anyway, just think
about that write-off.
184
00:07:21,119 --> 00:07:22,205
It's a write-off.
185
00:07:22,220 --> 00:07:24,540
Yeah, my life's pretty
sweet these days also.
186
00:07:24,564 --> 00:07:26,923
Chef Ders is cooking up
some tangy treats.
187
00:07:26,931 --> 00:07:28,311
What's that?
188
00:07:28,899 --> 00:07:31,344
You were talking about your life
out there, so I was just gonna...
189
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:32,484
Oh, right, right.
190
00:07:32,507 --> 00:07:34,086
- So where was I?
- I was...
191
00:07:34,109 --> 00:07:36,294
anyway, so I got sick
of running the hedge fund,
192
00:07:36,319 --> 00:07:38,890
and I met Ryan Lochte
at Golden Goggles.
193
00:07:38,906 --> 00:07:40,437
He's on the board
at USA swimming.
194
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:42,773
- No way.
- So now I'm Lochte's money guy.
195
00:07:42,788 --> 00:07:44,464
- What?
- Making investments.
196
00:07:44,489 --> 00:07:45,692
Chasing sponsorships.
197
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:48,885
He's the one who came up
with the term "j'yeah!"
198
00:07:48,910 --> 00:07:50,274
What?
199
00:07:50,299 --> 00:07:51,933
Oh, well, hey.
200
00:07:51,946 --> 00:07:54,728
You ever hear "tight butthole"?
I came up with that.
201
00:07:55,117 --> 00:07:59,189
I'm not sure I get it, but you
and buttholes make sense.
202
00:07:59,204 --> 00:08:00,681
[Both laugh]
203
00:08:01,017 --> 00:08:02,290
You are so funny.
204
00:08:02,310 --> 00:08:03,865
Hey, would you mind
grabbing me that drink?
205
00:08:03,888 --> 00:08:05,424
Oh, of course.
206
00:08:06,101 --> 00:08:08,038
God, I wish Magda'd let
me do anal.
207
00:08:08,060 --> 00:08:09,485
She says it's unnatural.
208
00:08:09,510 --> 00:08:11,627
No offense to you
and your buddies.
209
00:08:11,651 --> 00:08:16,079
I prefer Snatch anyway,
and she can go all night.
210
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:16,914
"Snatch."
211
00:08:16,937 --> 00:08:19,296
I'm not ashamed to say I got to pop
a couple Viagra just to keep up.
212
00:08:19,319 --> 00:08:21,447
- Oh, yeah.
- Voila.
213
00:08:21,472 --> 00:08:22,230
Thank you.
214
00:08:22,253 --> 00:08:24,206
Anyway, it was really great
catching up with you, man.
215
00:08:24,230 --> 00:08:25,620
- Cheers.
- Yeah.
216
00:08:25,643 --> 00:08:27,605
All right, you kiddos ready
to go get stretched out?
217
00:08:27,627 --> 00:08:29,268
You gonna win this one?
218
00:08:40,526 --> 00:08:42,678
Oh, there's my girl.
219
00:08:43,803 --> 00:08:45,331
Excuse me.
220
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:47,591
Miss Cruz?
221
00:08:48,090 --> 00:08:50,333
- Yeah?
- Sorry for being so formal.
222
00:08:50,349 --> 00:08:52,427
It's just
223
00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:55,515
an honor to meet you.
224
00:08:56,589 --> 00:08:59,659
I'm friends with one
of the alumni swimmers here,
225
00:08:59,675 --> 00:09:02,084
and I've been
226
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:05,515
admiring your photo in the yearbook
for quite some time now.
227
00:09:05,539 --> 00:09:08,412
You mean, like,
pictures of me as a kid?
228
00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:13,617
Yeah, and may I say
you still look very young.
229
00:09:14,569 --> 00:09:15,960
In a good way.
You still look very young,
230
00:09:15,975 --> 00:09:19,063
but cutting to the chase,
like a Ginsu,
231
00:09:19,088 --> 00:09:23,573
I was just wondering if maybe you would
like to accompany me to a Sushi dinner.
232
00:09:23,574 --> 00:09:26,127
I love eating sashimi,
233
00:09:26,152 --> 00:09:30,324
but I would rather
eat sashi-you.
234
00:09:30,342 --> 00:09:32,865
Ooh, not really
into Sushi.
235
00:09:32,889 --> 00:09:35,444
Thanks, though,
and I'm not Japanese,
236
00:09:35,469 --> 00:09:37,572
- if that's what you're doing.
- Yeah. No, it was.
237
00:09:37,594 --> 00:09:41,539
Sorry, I blew that. Oh, hey!
So, Adam, what's up?
238
00:09:41,555 --> 00:09:43,532
This is my girl, Sherry.
239
00:09:44,257 --> 00:09:46,856
- This is my ninja, Adam.
- Your girl?
240
00:09:46,881 --> 00:09:47,967
But this is...
241
00:09:48,349 --> 00:09:50,600
[R&B music]
242
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,381
♪ You're messing
with the same girl ♪
243
00:09:52,389 --> 00:09:54,170
- ♪ Same girl ♪
- ♪ Same girl ♪
244
00:09:54,195 --> 00:09:56,070
♪ How could the love
of my life ♪
245
00:09:56,086 --> 00:09:58,205
♪ And my potential
wife be the ♪
246
00:09:58,220 --> 00:10:00,031
- ♪ The same girl ♪
- ♪ Same girl ♪
247
00:10:00,046 --> 00:10:02,935
- ♪ Same girl ♪
- ♪ Just I can't believe ♪
248
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,007
Break the grip!
Break the grip!
249
00:10:05,029 --> 00:10:06,027
[Shouts]
250
00:10:06,052 --> 00:10:07,732
Okay.
251
00:10:08,095 --> 00:10:09,579
Ow! Adam, you're
hurting me!
252
00:10:09,594 --> 00:10:11,610
Okay? Not in front
of my girl.
253
00:10:11,632 --> 00:10:14,373
Your girl?
More like my girl.
254
00:10:14,398 --> 00:10:16,148
I'm the Macaulay Culkin
of this situation.
255
00:10:16,162 --> 00:10:18,271
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about the movie My Girl!
256
00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:19,925
With the little girl,
loves Macaulay Culkin
257
00:10:19,948 --> 00:10:22,026
so much she gets stinged
by a ton of bees and dies.
258
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:23,784
- I thought he died.
- I don't know!
259
00:10:23,799 --> 00:10:26,108
- I haven't seen the movie in a long time!
- It's besides the point, man.
260
00:10:26,131 --> 00:10:29,546
I thought you told me that your
chick was a black girl, dude.
261
00:10:29,569 --> 00:10:31,844
Yeah, and that girl
is super black.
262
00:10:31,867 --> 00:10:33,282
She's a super black beauty.
263
00:10:33,297 --> 00:10:35,501
And you said your
girl was Asian,
264
00:10:35,519 --> 00:10:36,839
and that is now what
she looks like.
265
00:10:36,862 --> 00:10:39,887
- She is... Hey, Sherry?
- Sherry?
266
00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:41,336
What are you?
267
00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:43,061
- Excuse me?
- Your ethnicity.
268
00:10:43,084 --> 00:10:45,619
Yeah, your background.
Like, your genetic buildup.
269
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:49,709
- Jesus, Filipino.
- Ha, that's Asian!
270
00:10:49,724 --> 00:10:50,847
- That is Asian.
- On my dad's side.
271
00:10:50,862 --> 00:10:54,287
- My mother is black.
- Yes, okay, yeah.
272
00:10:54,312 --> 00:10:57,085
And half-black
equals full black,
273
00:10:57,093 --> 00:10:59,112
and that's not my rule;
That's society's rule.
274
00:10:59,127 --> 00:11:01,179
That's why Drake can say
the n-word a million times,
275
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,514
and everyone's like,
"I love this song.
276
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:04,434
I want to dance to this song.
I want to slow grind to it."
277
00:11:04,449 --> 00:11:06,426
It's because he's Canadian.
That's why he can say it.
278
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,926
It means something different
in their language.
279
00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:08,993
I don't think
that is the case.
280
00:11:09,016 --> 00:11:14,478
Look, she's obviously valuing both of her
Filipino and black heritage equally,
281
00:11:14,493 --> 00:11:19,151
so if anything,
she's a full-bodied Pinot noir.
282
00:11:19,926 --> 00:11:21,178
Okay, I'm offended.
283
00:11:21,192 --> 00:11:25,536
Because she's not a gross,
alcoholic wine drink for adults.
284
00:11:25,558 --> 00:11:29,604
She is a chocolate-colored
human being, you racist fuck.
285
00:11:29,629 --> 00:11:30,637
That was offensive.
286
00:11:30,662 --> 00:11:31,951
- No, I'm offended.
- That was offensive.
287
00:11:31,975 --> 00:11:34,701
- How was that offensive?
- Chocolate?
288
00:11:34,716 --> 00:11:36,519
- It's a delicious treat.
- That is true.
289
00:11:36,534 --> 00:11:38,348
Okay, so that
wasn't racist.
290
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:40,563
Sherry, let's go
get some Roscoe's!
291
00:11:40,579 --> 00:11:41,705
Okay.
292
00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:44,815
Hey, everybody, I just want
to say a few words real quick
293
00:11:44,822 --> 00:11:46,643
before the meet
gets started.
294
00:11:46,658 --> 00:11:49,510
First of all, thank you all
for showing up here today.
295
00:11:49,525 --> 00:11:52,284
I really appreciate getting
everybody back together,
296
00:11:52,299 --> 00:11:55,944
and we've raised a lot of money
for this high school team, so...
297
00:11:55,969 --> 00:11:57,870
- You ready?
- Now I am.
298
00:11:57,895 --> 00:11:59,735
- That felt really good.
- Good.
299
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:01,698
So fun to see everybody.
300
00:12:02,427 --> 00:12:07,553
It's especially fun to see our once
missing-in-action Anders Holmvik!
301
00:12:07,568 --> 00:12:10,532
He's back!
He's here, ready to shine!
302
00:12:10,549 --> 00:12:11,822
Let's give it up for The Ders!
303
00:12:11,838 --> 00:12:14,063
Thanks for coming, Ders.
Thank you.
304
00:12:14,088 --> 00:12:16,901
Why don't you get up here
and say a few words, Ders?
305
00:12:16,915 --> 00:12:18,287
- Nah.
- Get on up here.
306
00:12:18,312 --> 00:12:20,045
Come on, we want
to hear from you.
307
00:12:20,066 --> 00:12:21,683
Our old pal, Ders.
Let's give it up.
308
00:12:21,698 --> 00:12:23,955
- Yeah, get them, Ders!
- Ders, doggy!
309
00:12:23,980 --> 00:12:25,628
- Woof!
- Good to see you again.
310
00:12:25,652 --> 00:12:26,871
Tell us what's on
your mind.
311
00:12:26,894 --> 00:12:29,855
Man, uh,
312
00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:33,536
just like you said, good to see
everyone, and let's have some fun,
313
00:12:33,559 --> 00:12:35,044
just like old times, huh?
314
00:12:35,067 --> 00:12:36,505
It will be just
like old times,
315
00:12:36,526 --> 00:12:38,557
- Yeah.
...'cause...
316
00:12:38,561 --> 00:12:40,061
you got a boner!
317
00:12:40,086 --> 00:12:42,164
- No, stop it!
- You got a boner!
318
00:12:42,187 --> 00:12:43,757
Look at that!
Look at that!
319
00:12:43,782 --> 00:12:45,410
I don't have a boner!
320
00:12:46,129 --> 00:12:47,981
- It's not bad, actually.
- Why does this keep happening?
321
00:12:48,004 --> 00:12:49,815
- He's got a decent one.
- It's super hard.
322
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,910
I slipped you some Viagra
in that drink earlier.
323
00:12:51,933 --> 00:12:54,188
I did. I did.
324
00:12:55,164 --> 00:12:57,176
You've been Torpedoed.
325
00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:59,536
- There he goes.
- Yo!
326
00:12:59,543 --> 00:13:01,812
Where you going
with all our booze, bud?
327
00:13:02,911 --> 00:13:06,172
Maybe we ought to see
if Ders needs some alone time,
328
00:13:06,195 --> 00:13:07,914
'cause I'm gonna stick
right around here.
329
00:13:07,937 --> 00:13:09,836
Hey! Sherry, what's up?
330
00:13:09,852 --> 00:13:10,806
About that Roscoe's,
331
00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:13,805
I was thinking maybe we'd get it
to go, take it to where you stay at.
332
00:13:13,830 --> 00:13:15,727
I don't even know you two,
333
00:13:15,752 --> 00:13:17,469
so why would I even consider
going out to dinner
334
00:13:17,494 --> 00:13:19,181
with either of
you two idiots?
335
00:13:20,021 --> 00:13:22,274
I already told you.
We know you from the yearbook.
336
00:13:22,290 --> 00:13:24,656
No, I don't.
I swam for another school.
337
00:13:24,679 --> 00:13:27,229
- Wow, big deal, all right?
- So what? He knows how to swim.
338
00:13:27,244 --> 00:13:28,339
So do I. Check it out.
339
00:13:28,354 --> 00:13:30,085
Hov.
Hanging with Mr. Cooper.
340
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,196
Both: Asian girl laughing.
341
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,719
- Hov. Hanging with Mr. Cooper.
- That's not a thing.
342
00:13:33,734 --> 00:13:35,735
No, it's a thing.
It's, like, a swim stroke.
343
00:13:35,758 --> 00:13:37,907
Yeah, I mean, Ders taught it
to us, so it's got to be real.
344
00:13:37,921 --> 00:13:41,274
Oh, okay, you're
friends of Anders.
345
00:13:41,298 --> 00:13:44,003
- I'm not.
- Stop lying to her, man.
346
00:13:44,026 --> 00:13:47,161
Just tell her you know her from
the yearbook, just like me, all right?
347
00:13:47,176 --> 00:13:48,715
Oh, and while you're at it,
why don't you tell her
348
00:13:48,732 --> 00:13:51,463
about your little relationship
with Aurora Brown?
349
00:13:51,474 --> 00:13:53,775
I don't crank it to her
anymore, and you know that.
350
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,042
Okay, since when?
351
00:13:55,058 --> 00:13:57,332
Okay, 'cause I can't get
serious with a sophomore.
352
00:13:57,347 --> 00:13:58,789
That's social suicide.
353
00:13:58,814 --> 00:14:02,172
[Screaming]
354
00:14:02,197 --> 00:14:05,363
- The Ders.
- The Ders.
355
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,542
- I just said that.
- Oh, did you?
356
00:14:07,558 --> 00:14:10,613
I didn't hear you.
The Ders.
357
00:14:20,011 --> 00:14:21,700
{pub}Look at all these
shotgun shells, man.
358
00:14:21,715 --> 00:14:24,889
He's been slamming them like
no other human I've ever seen.
359
00:14:25,566 --> 00:14:29,388
Except for me, but to your
point, I'm not fully human.
360
00:14:29,413 --> 00:14:31,218
My Uncle, he was
a zookeeper.
361
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:34,107
[Shouting]
362
00:14:34,132 --> 00:14:35,738
The Ders!
363
00:14:40,633 --> 00:14:44,327
[Burping]
364
00:14:44,352 --> 00:14:46,462
It should be my name
on that banner!
365
00:14:46,485 --> 00:14:49,020
Whoa, hey.
Spiders, man.
366
00:14:49,571 --> 00:14:51,571
Why don't you swoop on
down here, buddy?
367
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,112
Very safely, though, please.
368
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,502
Yeah, why do you worry so
much about banners, dude?
369
00:14:55,510 --> 00:14:57,692
Drake's not rapping
about banners.
370
00:14:57,717 --> 00:14:59,764
- You're really into Drake, huh?
- He's, like, a real talent.
371
00:14:59,779 --> 00:15:02,135
I just found out about him,
and he raps about trophies.
372
00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,058
[Burping]
373
00:15:04,641 --> 00:15:07,527
I could just put my
name on it, right?
374
00:15:09,215 --> 00:15:10,266
I'll just...
375
00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:12,392
pull it down and...
376
00:15:12,948 --> 00:15:15,752
cross off torpey's name
and make everything all right.
377
00:15:15,777 --> 00:15:18,620
If you do that, you're
gonna destroy yourself,
378
00:15:18,643 --> 00:15:20,776
and actually, that'd be awesome
to watch, so I vote yes.
379
00:15:20,791 --> 00:15:23,378
No, Anders, okay,
if you can hear me,
380
00:15:23,393 --> 00:15:26,526
if you're even in there anymore,
just come down, dude.
381
00:15:26,541 --> 00:15:29,356
- We can fix this.
- I am fixing this.
382
00:15:31,915 --> 00:15:34,752
[Shouting]
383
00:15:41,507 --> 00:15:44,000
[All shouting indistinctly]
384
00:15:44,023 --> 00:15:46,666
I got it!
385
00:15:46,691 --> 00:15:48,255
[Laughs]
386
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:51,402
- Oh, my God!
- Yes, The Ders!
387
00:15:51,427 --> 00:15:52,911
Yeah.
388
00:15:53,468 --> 00:15:54,420
Yes!
389
00:15:54,445 --> 00:15:56,929
That could have
gone way worse.
390
00:15:57,522 --> 00:15:58,688
Don't look down.
391
00:15:59,194 --> 00:16:03,092
'Cause you have an entire trophy
sticking out of your flubber.
392
00:16:04,116 --> 00:16:06,038
Oh, my God!
393
00:16:06,053 --> 00:16:08,191
- What do I do?
- Just relax, dude.
394
00:16:08,216 --> 00:16:11,381
My Uncle Bobby actually impaled himself
with a fire poker one Christmas.
395
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:13,084
He had it in there
until new year's.
396
00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:15,566
Okay, so leave it in.
397
00:16:16,330 --> 00:16:18,910
- Yeah, he's fine now.
- No, no, he's dead.
398
00:16:18,935 --> 00:16:21,825
They found him dead new year's day,
'cause of the fire poker.
399
00:16:24,655 --> 00:16:26,539
We need a doctor!
400
00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:28,671
We need a doctor.
401
00:16:29,210 --> 00:16:31,046
Stay with us.
402
00:16:31,069 --> 00:16:33,788
- The Ders is unleashed!
- Stay awake. Stay awake!
403
00:16:33,813 --> 00:16:35,695
You are heavy,
you fat fuck!
404
00:16:36,727 --> 00:16:38,847
Is there a doctor
in the house?
405
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:41,500
Come on, Dersie, we're gonna
take you to the hospital.
406
00:16:41,525 --> 00:16:43,512
That's one way
to get a trophy.
407
00:16:44,823 --> 00:16:46,636
What are you doing?
408
00:16:48,053 --> 00:16:49,483
What did you just say?
409
00:16:49,506 --> 00:16:52,084
I said that's one way
to get a trophy, and it is.
410
00:16:52,107 --> 00:16:53,561
I'll kick your
ass right now.
411
00:16:53,584 --> 00:16:56,422
At swimming. I will kick
your ass at swimming.
412
00:16:56,934 --> 00:16:59,457
One on one, 50 free.
413
00:16:59,473 --> 00:17:02,262
Oh, God. I hate these.
414
00:17:02,277 --> 00:17:05,984
No, no, no, no, actually, I love it.
I needed a nap. I'm very tired.
415
00:17:06,769 --> 00:17:07,746
Zinger.
416
00:17:07,770 --> 00:17:11,184
I think you should definitely not race
and go immediately to the hospital.
417
00:17:11,199 --> 00:17:12,470
How convenient!
418
00:17:12,495 --> 00:17:15,546
Right after I challenge you,
you tell me to do that.
419
00:17:15,571 --> 00:17:18,118
Not happening, honky.
Bitch.
420
00:17:18,519 --> 00:17:20,222
Okay, let's do this.
421
00:17:21,088 --> 00:17:23,055
Let's do this right now.
422
00:17:24,231 --> 00:17:25,833
- Who's calling this?
- I'll call it, baby.
423
00:17:25,855 --> 00:17:27,454
Put that hammer down.
424
00:17:30,207 --> 00:17:32,543
[Cheers and applause]
425
00:17:33,151 --> 00:17:35,210
On your marks...
426
00:17:39,477 --> 00:17:41,534
- Oh, God.
- Ders?
427
00:17:42,789 --> 00:17:44,148
Is somebody gonna
go and save him?
428
00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:46,747
Yes, Adam,
he's the swimmer, right?
429
00:17:46,762 --> 00:17:48,988
- Go. Go save him, man.
- He's actually dying!
430
00:17:49,005 --> 00:17:51,413
Would you just go
and save your friend?
431
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:55,202
Fine, I'll be a hero, save
a man's life. What's new?
432
00:17:55,227 --> 00:17:57,147
No, no, no, actually,
I'm gonna be a hero too,
433
00:17:57,162 --> 00:17:59,299
even though it is
the deep end, so...
434
00:17:59,321 --> 00:18:00,624
No!
435
00:18:02,344 --> 00:18:05,179
[Both shouting indistinctly]
436
00:18:08,372 --> 00:18:09,923
- Help!
- It's not working!
437
00:18:09,948 --> 00:18:11,066
Help!
438
00:18:22,247 --> 00:18:23,757
{pub}I'll save Holmvik!
439
00:18:25,783 --> 00:18:28,051
[Both shouting]
440
00:18:40,239 --> 00:18:41,586
Oh, my God.
441
00:18:44,610 --> 00:18:46,514
Come on, come on!
442
00:18:52,708 --> 00:18:54,472
Are you guys kidding me?
443
00:18:54,497 --> 00:18:57,082
They're not even drowning!
[Both laugh]
444
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,910
Jerks!
445
00:19:01,412 --> 00:19:03,627
Ders, don't die.
446
00:19:04,043 --> 00:19:05,506
[Coughing]
447
00:19:07,186 --> 00:19:09,372
Get off of me!
Get off of me!
448
00:19:11,853 --> 00:19:12,994
- Hey.
- How are you doing?
449
00:19:13,017 --> 00:19:15,698
- Are you all right?
- What are you guys doing?
450
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,204
You guys got to get
him to a hospital!
451
00:19:17,229 --> 00:19:19,238
Hey, torpey.
452
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:22,993
I did get a boner that day
in the showers.
453
00:19:23,007 --> 00:19:25,057
- In high school.
- I know.
454
00:19:25,082 --> 00:19:27,113
But I want to know
what's up with you
455
00:19:27,138 --> 00:19:29,940
kissing a dude here today
in front of all these people?
456
00:19:29,965 --> 00:19:32,160
- Right, guys? You see him?
- He was kissing Ders.
457
00:19:32,184 --> 00:19:35,235
- What's up with that, right?
- He's still got it! - Huh?
458
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:37,563
- Yeah.
- He just saved your life, man.
459
00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,413
- What?
- Yes, he did.
460
00:19:40,435 --> 00:19:42,506
- Let's get you out of here.
- I just don't remember.
461
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:43,863
[Both talking at once]
462
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,321
I thought he was
kissing me.
463
00:19:45,329 --> 00:19:46,926
Later, Tor-penis.
464
00:19:46,951 --> 00:19:49,753
[All jeering and shouting]
465
00:19:51,883 --> 00:19:53,689
Oh, man,
466
00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:55,956
these pain pills are kicking
in right about now.
467
00:19:55,978 --> 00:19:58,200
You got to eat
something before, bud.
468
00:19:58,569 --> 00:20:01,016
Sherry Cruz.
469
00:20:01,041 --> 00:20:02,799
Yeah, the one
that got away.
470
00:20:02,815 --> 00:20:04,597
She doesn't know
what she's missing, man.
471
00:20:04,612 --> 00:20:06,932
She really doesn't, man.
She missed out on some good guys.
472
00:20:06,947 --> 00:20:08,095
Yeah!
473
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:10,448
- Well, whatever.
- Oh, look at Allison fields.
474
00:20:10,463 --> 00:20:12,533
- Oh! Holy Moley.
- Oh, my gosh.
475
00:20:12,556 --> 00:20:15,736
- I'm into that.
- I'm calling dibs right now.
476
00:20:16,327 --> 00:20:20,470
You can't do that, because I'm the one
who actually pointed her out.
477
00:20:20,495 --> 00:20:22,182
- Squirrel, squirrel!
- There's a squirrel!
478
00:20:22,206 --> 00:20:23,401
- A squirrel!
- Oh, no!
479
00:20:23,416 --> 00:20:24,770
I want to see
the squirrel!
480
00:20:24,786 --> 00:20:28,263
There's a squirrel right there!
Oh, all right.
481
00:20:29,446 --> 00:20:31,232
What's he doing?
I want to go see it.
482
00:20:31,257 --> 00:20:33,515
Is he eating the hot
dog off my trophy?
483
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:35,602
Both: Yeah.
484
00:20:35,627 --> 00:20:38,736
- Yeah!
- Oh, it's a little baby girl squirrel!
485
00:20:38,759 --> 00:20:41,586
Oh, look, it's eating it!
486
00:20:41,611 --> 00:20:45,041
- Look at its big, bushy tail.
- Oh, it's so cute.
487
00:20:45,056 --> 00:20:47,601
It's... Oh, why is it
looking at me like that?
488
00:20:47,624 --> 00:20:49,085
- What is that look in its eyes?
- Oh, Blake.
489
00:20:49,436 --> 00:20:50,923
- It's chasing me, Blake!
- No!
490
00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:53,556
- It's chasing me!
- Adam, drop the hot dog!
491
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:54,861
[Both shouting]
492
00:20:54,884 --> 00:20:56,258
The gangs are real!
493
00:20:56,266 --> 00:20:57,509
Blake, save him!
Help him!
494
00:20:57,534 --> 00:20:59,559
Oh, they're wearing
matching bandanas!
495
00:20:59,584 --> 00:21:01,318
Oh, my God!
496
00:21:01,343 --> 00:21:06,443
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
497
00:21:08,889 --> 00:21:10,038
J'yeah.
498
00:21:10,797 --> 00:21:11,867
J'yeah!
499
00:21:12,829 --> 00:21:14,186
J'yeah.
500
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,245
J'yeah.
501
00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:18,925
- J'yeah.
- Does anyone want to go to Roscoe's?
502
00:21:18,950 --> 00:21:20,022
J'yeah.
503
00:21:20,047 --> 00:21:21,380
Oh, she's really cooking.