1
00:00:02,065 --> 00:00:05,323
Okay, the central question that
the senators are gonna be asking is,
2
00:00:05,338 --> 00:00:07,659
"Why should we invest in
the National Parks Service?"
3
00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:09,505
- April...
- Well, it is simple, Leslie.
4
00:00:09,528 --> 00:00:13,076
In today's fast-paced society, national
parks are still the best place
5
00:00:13,084 --> 00:00:15,295
for full moon
werewolf transformations.
6
00:00:15,310 --> 00:00:16,380
I know you're kidding.
7
00:00:16,403 --> 00:00:19,318
But I also know that you're prepared
and we are going to do great.
8
00:00:19,340 --> 00:00:20,898
How psyched are you
about this trip?
9
00:00:20,923 --> 00:00:23,787
April, are you
super psyched?
10
00:00:23,794 --> 00:00:26,297
Yeah. Also you have
lipstick on your teeth.
11
00:00:26,322 --> 00:00:28,211
I do? Mm, okay.
Good looking out.
12
00:00:28,226 --> 00:00:29,196
We're a great team.
13
00:00:29,219 --> 00:00:30,907
Well, I never thought
I'd say this,
14
00:00:30,922 --> 00:00:33,672
but I think I know
what's going on in your head.
15
00:00:33,688 --> 00:00:36,767
Oh, well then, welcome
to the terror dome.
16
00:00:36,790 --> 00:00:39,759
Okay, you need to tell Leslie
that you want to leave your job.
17
00:00:39,774 --> 00:00:42,823
No. She freaks out
when anything changes.
18
00:00:42,848 --> 00:00:46,049
One time Andy told her that I was getting
rid of my bangs and she called 9-1-1.
19
00:00:46,074 --> 00:00:48,126
Okay, well, I can't
keep your secret much longer.
20
00:00:48,142 --> 00:00:50,195
Anytime your name
comes up, I panic
21
00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:53,540
and change the subject to the Twin
Peaks reboot 'til she gets bored.
22
00:00:53,555 --> 00:00:54,989
So you talk for
one second?
23
00:00:54,997 --> 00:00:56,877
You're gonna spend the next
couple days with her.
24
00:00:56,892 --> 00:00:59,205
If you talk to her
directly and honestly,
25
00:00:59,221 --> 00:01:01,393
she can be
surprisingly open-minded.
26
00:01:01,416 --> 00:01:02,666
Oh, really? Oh, okay.
27
00:01:02,691 --> 00:01:06,246
Hey, Leslie, um, I was thinking about
changing the font on the itineraries.
28
00:01:06,264 --> 00:01:08,199
- What do you think?
- What? Why?
29
00:01:08,665 --> 00:01:11,267
On what grounds?
Those--those fonts are perfect.
30
00:01:11,282 --> 00:01:13,350
It's readable and compact,
it's all on one page.
31
00:01:13,373 --> 00:01:15,330
That's insane.
Don't mess with that.
32
00:01:15,352 --> 00:01:17,033
I mean, I appreciate
your initiative,
33
00:01:17,048 --> 00:01:21,111
but itineraries are not
the right place to mess around.
34
00:01:21,126 --> 00:01:24,701
Yeah. April, I told you,
that was an absurd idea.
35
00:01:37,402 --> 00:01:45,402
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
36
00:01:45,911 --> 00:01:47,480
I don't care
what Ben says.
37
00:01:47,496 --> 00:01:50,168
I'm not going to tell Leslie I'm
leaving my job on this trip.
38
00:01:50,191 --> 00:01:52,035
She'll drown me
in the Potomac...
39
00:01:52,058 --> 00:01:54,184
while she recites facts
about the Potomac.
40
00:01:54,206 --> 00:01:56,605
Well don't fret, cookie.
We've made progress, haven't we?
41
00:01:56,628 --> 00:02:00,199
We got a whole list of all the things
you need out of a new job.
42
00:02:00,215 --> 00:02:03,105
Apple juice, barbeque sauce,
43
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:04,629
Count Chocula--
wait.
44
00:02:04,644 --> 00:02:07,590
Oh, sorry, that's the list of cool new
nicknames I want people to call me.
45
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:09,273
Here's your list.
46
00:02:09,288 --> 00:02:12,429
How can I tell her I'm leaving when
I don't even know what job I want?
47
00:02:12,827 --> 00:02:15,288
Babe, I wish you
were coming with me.
48
00:02:15,311 --> 00:02:18,202
I just decided what I am going
to do while April is out of town.
49
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:21,030
I'm going to round up the team
and find her a new job.
50
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,846
Yeah, Ben Wyatt please?
51
00:02:22,857 --> 00:02:25,287
Tell him it's Count Chocula.
52
00:02:26,658 --> 00:02:29,111
Uh, no it's Andrew Dwyer.
I'm sorry.
53
00:02:29,838 --> 00:02:31,642
So April wants to leave?
54
00:02:31,658 --> 00:02:34,545
I always knew she would
tire of government.
55
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:36,135
Took long enough.
56
00:02:36,150 --> 00:02:38,846
Well, both me and Ben are trying
to help April find a new job,
57
00:02:38,869 --> 00:02:40,432
and we thought maybe
she could work for you.
58
00:02:40,439 --> 00:02:43,396
I feel like it would be
a perfect fit.
59
00:02:43,421 --> 00:02:46,148
Although, I don't know exactly
what you guys do here.
60
00:02:46,161 --> 00:02:47,576
I'm guessing...
61
00:02:48,983 --> 00:02:50,319
it's a business?
62
00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:52,788
Assassins? Hit men?
63
00:02:52,811 --> 00:02:54,784
Doctors. You guys
are doctors.
64
00:02:54,809 --> 00:02:56,666
We build things.
65
00:02:56,691 --> 00:02:58,574
Come on, let me
show you around.
66
00:02:59,587 --> 00:03:03,277
This is a door.
These, of course, are walls.
67
00:03:03,292 --> 00:03:05,371
What else?
What else? Ah!
68
00:03:05,378 --> 00:03:07,464
Meet our Vice President,
Don Swanson.
69
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:10,691
- Don, this is Andrew and Benjamin.
- Pleasure to meet you.
70
00:03:10,706 --> 00:03:13,082
Is this your brother?
71
00:03:13,097 --> 00:03:14,891
You have a brother.
72
00:03:15,761 --> 00:03:17,180
No.
73
00:03:18,301 --> 00:03:21,206
Fine. Yes. I suppose
the cat's out of the bag.
74
00:03:21,221 --> 00:03:24,034
I have a brother.
One brother.
75
00:03:24,049 --> 00:03:25,878
All those years together
at the Parks department
76
00:03:25,894 --> 00:03:27,527
and you never told us
you had a brother.
77
00:03:27,550 --> 00:03:30,196
- You worked at the Parks department?
- Tour's over!
78
00:03:31,048 --> 00:03:34,470
Okay. Carry-on bag's packed.
Trashy magazines purchased.
79
00:03:34,484 --> 00:03:39,634
Boarding passes in hand, and we have
26 minutes for unstructured chat time.
80
00:03:39,649 --> 00:03:42,225
- What do you want to talk about?
- I don't know. Nothing.
81
00:03:43,195 --> 00:03:45,312
I thought maybe we could
talk about your future.
82
00:03:45,328 --> 00:03:47,054
Wanna talk about
your future?
83
00:03:48,180 --> 00:03:52,305
- Yeah. I've actually been thinking about
that a lot lately. - Yeah, I figured.
84
00:03:52,328 --> 00:03:54,797
It's hard, at your age,
to figure out your path.
85
00:03:54,812 --> 00:03:56,203
- I know.
- Yeah.
86
00:03:56,218 --> 00:03:58,939
I was gonna surprise you with this in
Washington, but, you know, what the heck?
87
00:03:58,964 --> 00:04:01,749
It's unstructured chat time.
So...
88
00:04:02,562 --> 00:04:03,414
ta-da!
89
00:04:03,421 --> 00:04:07,453
This is your clear, definitive path
through the federal government.
90
00:04:07,468 --> 00:04:12,390
It starts here today with this flight
and it goes all the way to 2022.
91
00:04:12,413 --> 00:04:13,718
Cool, right?
92
00:04:13,726 --> 00:04:15,445
Wow. This is intense.
93
00:04:15,460 --> 00:04:18,914
I had to make some guesses about
your ultimate government objectives
94
00:04:18,929 --> 00:04:22,218
and your fashion choices,
etcetera, but the point is
95
00:04:22,243 --> 00:04:24,478
with this you don't
have to worry.
96
00:04:24,493 --> 00:04:27,040
I know! I feel so relaxed.
97
00:04:27,064 --> 00:04:28,978
Yeah! I know!
98
00:04:28,993 --> 00:04:30,970
What's up with these shirts?
99
00:04:30,985 --> 00:04:32,360
Gov Buds for Life?
100
00:04:32,383 --> 00:04:34,493
Just a little fun I was
having, you know?
101
00:04:34,508 --> 00:04:36,391
I didn't really
make the shirts.
102
00:04:37,723 --> 00:04:41,004
- But did you though?
- Yes, I did!
103
00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,608
Ha-ha! Ta-da!
104
00:04:44,661 --> 00:04:47,544
Oh, and also,
I have a middle seat.
105
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,813
April! Group one
is boarding!
106
00:04:53,017 --> 00:04:55,299
Break it down. What will
she be doing at this job?
107
00:04:55,322 --> 00:04:58,049
Well, she'd have about six
people reporting to her.
108
00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:01,817
And if she started soon, she could project
manage our new warehouse in Snerling.
109
00:05:01,842 --> 00:05:03,885
Get to be my own boss.
So far, so good.
110
00:05:03,900 --> 00:05:07,947
She also wants passionate
interest in subject matter.
111
00:05:07,967 --> 00:05:10,686
So, what kind of building is it?
112
00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:14,131
It's a large scale storage unit
for surplus vinyl sheeting.
113
00:05:14,154 --> 00:05:17,553
Okay. So that's,
uh, boring.
114
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:21,482
Would she have an opportunity to practice
any creative problem solving?
115
00:05:21,497 --> 00:05:25,506
Creativity is for people
with glasses who like to lie.
116
00:05:25,529 --> 00:05:28,567
Although, I suppose she
could use creative ways
117
00:05:28,582 --> 00:05:31,130
to organize and stack
the vinyl sheeting.
118
00:05:31,153 --> 00:05:32,587
No, that's insane.
119
00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:35,431
We use the Towsend method.
It's tried and true.
120
00:05:35,439 --> 00:05:37,017
I think this might
be a dead end.
121
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,556
I think you might be right.
122
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:42,118
But getting a good person out of
government is a worthwhile endeavor.
123
00:05:42,134 --> 00:05:44,656
I will help, but first I'm
gonna need some grub.
124
00:05:44,674 --> 00:05:46,985
Ooh, yeah! Let's grab some
lunch and some ice cream!
125
00:05:47,010 --> 00:05:48,720
Then maybe some
after ice cream tacos?
126
00:05:48,745 --> 00:05:51,175
We'll just brainstorm and
maybe grab some snacks.
127
00:05:51,182 --> 00:05:52,566
Vaughn, Lon.
128
00:05:52,581 --> 00:05:53,950
Ron.
129
00:05:56,468 --> 00:05:58,444
Okay, I think we're all set.
130
00:05:58,468 --> 00:06:00,003
Even though I'm taking
the lead on these meetings,
131
00:06:00,021 --> 00:06:01,393
- don't be afraid to jump in.
- Copy that.
132
00:06:01,416 --> 00:06:05,240
April, when Randy brings up the river
project, that is your cue to--
133
00:06:05,255 --> 00:06:08,837
Distract the guards so
the Hamburglar can make his escape.
134
00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:11,633
We're meeting with
a lot of senators today.
135
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,921
- Is she going to be okay?
- Yeah.
136
00:06:12,928 --> 00:06:14,848
It's just April. Trust me.
137
00:06:15,728 --> 00:06:18,354
And we hope you agree that
this is the best plan
138
00:06:18,362 --> 00:06:21,080
to preserve national parks'
funding into the next decade.
139
00:06:21,105 --> 00:06:24,110
Well, so Leslie, what do you think?
Is--is this the right move?
140
00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:26,197
Well, I think it's the only
move, Senator Boxer.
141
00:06:26,213 --> 00:06:28,714
I don't think this chance
is gonna come around again.
142
00:06:29,344 --> 00:06:33,548
Well, you know, if it's good
with Leslie, it's good with me.
143
00:06:33,563 --> 00:06:35,330
Well, I have another
great idea.
144
00:06:35,349 --> 00:06:39,703
How about you and me, April, Randy,
historical lamp posts of D.C.?
145
00:06:39,718 --> 00:06:42,019
Walking tour
starts in 15 minutes.
146
00:06:42,038 --> 00:06:45,647
Sounds great, but, uh, I do have
an appointment with the President.
147
00:06:46,587 --> 00:06:47,954
Can we come?
148
00:06:48,928 --> 00:06:53,452
What kind of a business is this?
Is it like hit men or astronauts?
149
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:55,358
It's an accounting firm.
150
00:06:55,372 --> 00:06:57,811
But they recently opened up
a consulting wing.
151
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,486
And consulting is
perfect for April.
152
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,462
You think this Barney fellow will
listen to what we have to say?
153
00:07:02,477 --> 00:07:04,783
Ben! Ben is here!
154
00:07:04,798 --> 00:07:05,868
Hi, Ben!
155
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:07,978
Ted! Ben is here!
156
00:07:07,993 --> 00:07:12,004
Hey, it is actuarially
very good to see you guys.
157
00:07:12,024 --> 00:07:14,728
Aah! Ha ha!
158
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:15,438
Ben!
159
00:07:15,454 --> 00:07:18,305
- They like me here.
- You gotta hear this!
160
00:07:19,926 --> 00:07:22,892
So we think we can keep costs
down and still meet deadlines.
161
00:07:22,907 --> 00:07:24,521
You know, I have to say
I'm really impressed
162
00:07:24,529 --> 00:07:26,514
with what you guys are doing
over at Interior.
163
00:07:26,521 --> 00:07:29,013
Thank you, Senator Gillibrand, we
really appreciate your support.
164
00:07:29,028 --> 00:07:31,458
- Would you mind signing a copy of
your book? - Oh, of course, of course.
165
00:07:31,474 --> 00:07:33,145
I took the liberty of
writing the inscription.
166
00:07:33,168 --> 00:07:34,355
All you have to do is sign.
167
00:07:34,378 --> 00:07:37,410
"To Leslie, my inspiration,
my muse,
168
00:07:37,432 --> 00:07:39,601
my partner in crime.
I owe it all to you."
169
00:07:39,623 --> 00:07:43,611
And there's room for a P.S. if you
feel there's more you left out.
170
00:07:43,618 --> 00:07:46,053
Well, I think I've said all
I wanna say right here.
171
00:07:46,071 --> 00:07:47,406
- Okay.
- Okay.
172
00:07:47,824 --> 00:07:50,036
Yeah, well, I can't do
that right now.
173
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,550
Oh, boy. I'll call
you back.
174
00:07:52,565 --> 00:07:54,862
Hello, Senator. Do you
have a minute to chat?
175
00:07:54,885 --> 00:07:56,385
Oh, I can't right now.
I've got a meeting.
176
00:07:56,397 --> 00:07:58,116
Well, actually, I checked
with your staff
177
00:07:58,123 --> 00:08:00,579
and they said that
you have a free half hour.
178
00:08:00,604 --> 00:08:04,580
Did anyone ever tell you that your
tenacity can be intimidating?
179
00:08:04,605 --> 00:08:06,876
Yes. Every month of my life
since fourth grade.
180
00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:08,790
Now, let's talk about
national parks.
181
00:08:09,535 --> 00:08:11,262
Well, I just have to say
I'm very surprised
182
00:08:11,284 --> 00:08:13,935
that the two of you are
seeing eye to eye on this one.
183
00:08:13,951 --> 00:08:17,795
Well, Senator Buckner and I are both
concerned about our nation's resources.
184
00:08:17,809 --> 00:08:20,428
And that absolutely includes
our national parks.
185
00:08:20,451 --> 00:08:25,803
But that's not all we have in common.
In fact, our real passion is...
186
00:08:25,818 --> 00:08:28,204
Polynesian folk music.
187
00:08:29,351 --> 00:08:30,287
W--what?
188
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:31,771
Polynesian folk music.
189
00:08:31,787 --> 00:08:34,848
Our band is playing in Georgetown
tonight if you'd like to come.
190
00:08:34,873 --> 00:08:38,740
- We're called "Across the Isle."
- Did you get that? Aisle? Isle?
191
00:08:38,748 --> 00:08:42,732
Like an island and then across
the aisle, the political aisle.
192
00:08:42,748 --> 00:08:44,899
It's like a pun.
It's a play on words.
193
00:08:44,907 --> 00:08:45,954
- I do get it.
- Are you sure?
194
00:08:45,970 --> 00:08:47,316
We are definitely
coming to this.
195
00:08:47,332 --> 00:08:51,473
It's $8.00 if you buy your tickets now.
It's $10.00 at the door.
196
00:08:51,488 --> 00:08:53,849
Fiscal conservative.
Love this guy.
197
00:08:53,874 --> 00:08:54,918
- Love this guy.
- Yeah.
198
00:08:55,485 --> 00:08:57,116
April Ludgate Dwyer.
199
00:08:57,141 --> 00:09:00,532
She worked on the Gryzzl deal that
you guys did the finances for.
200
00:09:00,547 --> 00:09:03,166
Now, I know that you're
opening up a consulting wing,
201
00:09:03,182 --> 00:09:05,807
and we just think that April
would be a great hire.
202
00:09:05,814 --> 00:09:08,297
Yeah, and here's the thing,
Barney.
203
00:09:08,305 --> 00:09:10,125
We're obviously very familiar
with what consulting is
204
00:09:10,148 --> 00:09:11,750
but why don't you go ahead
and tell my friends here,
205
00:09:11,765 --> 00:09:13,633
because I don't think
that they know.
206
00:09:13,648 --> 00:09:19,687
Well, it's really about finding creative
solutions to difficult problems.
207
00:09:19,702 --> 00:09:23,404
Now, a lot of times
there's firings, so...
208
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,436
consultants aren't
exactly well liked.
209
00:09:25,461 --> 00:09:27,841
Holy crap. This is the job
for her, I can feel it.
210
00:09:27,856 --> 00:09:29,665
She'll take it!
Now let's talk perks.
211
00:09:29,690 --> 00:09:32,037
- Does she get the summers off?
Is it like school? - Son, easy.
212
00:09:32,062 --> 00:09:34,266
Well, what did
she major in?
213
00:09:34,289 --> 00:09:36,344
Economics? Accounting?
214
00:09:36,359 --> 00:09:38,117
She designed
her own major.
215
00:09:38,133 --> 00:09:40,875
- "Halloween Studies."
- Trust me, Barney.
216
00:09:40,891 --> 00:09:43,617
She's brilliant and
a very fast learner.
217
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,617
Does that, uh,
compound your interests?
218
00:09:47,759 --> 00:09:49,923
- Huh?
- Ha ha!
219
00:09:49,938 --> 00:09:52,189
So what do you say?
Huh, Barney?
220
00:09:52,204 --> 00:09:55,265
- Oh, Ben, that was amazing.
- Thank you.
221
00:09:55,288 --> 00:09:57,578
But it's too late
for her to apply.
222
00:09:57,593 --> 00:10:01,071
I'm sorry but we're not really
taking any more applicants.
223
00:10:01,096 --> 00:10:05,533
Though I could make
an exception for someone else.
224
00:10:05,557 --> 00:10:06,799
Not interested.
225
00:10:07,283 --> 00:10:09,406
Okay, so five
yeses and four nos.
226
00:10:09,421 --> 00:10:10,648
Not a bad start.
227
00:10:10,663 --> 00:10:12,942
So, Leslie, I was going to talk
to you about this in a few weeks,
228
00:10:12,965 --> 00:10:14,635
but Mike Norbert is retiring.
229
00:10:14,660 --> 00:10:18,026
Oh, really?
'Ol Norbs is stepping down.
230
00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:20,695
Couldn't handle the pressure,
huh? What a wuss.
231
00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:22,999
- His marriage is falling apart.
- Oh--oh, okay.
232
00:10:23,006 --> 00:10:24,273
She had an affair
with his best friend.
233
00:10:24,288 --> 00:10:26,913
- Ooh, okay, I feel bad about what I said
before. - Yeah, I get it, I get it.
234
00:10:26,928 --> 00:10:28,720
So, anyway,
the good news for you is
235
00:10:28,743 --> 00:10:32,419
we'd like to promote you to Deputy
Director of Operations and Interior.
236
00:10:33,181 --> 00:10:34,514
Wow.
237
00:10:34,526 --> 00:10:36,639
You'd have to move to D.C.
and you have to complete
238
00:10:36,653 --> 00:10:39,093
the Senior Executive Service
Candidate Development program.
239
00:10:39,113 --> 00:10:40,764
I have to enroll
in S.E.S.C.D.P.?
240
00:10:40,771 --> 00:10:45,544
44 weeks of intensive courses and note
taking? Um, it's a dream come true.
241
00:10:45,566 --> 00:10:47,522
And I have to warn you, there'll
be a confirmation hearing.
242
00:10:47,537 --> 00:10:49,904
A confirmation hearing?
A freaking confirmation hearing?
243
00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:51,389
Excuse me a second.
244
00:10:51,412 --> 00:10:52,803
What's that?
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
245
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:56,928
Um, to the best of my recollection,
yes, I accept the job.
246
00:10:56,943 --> 00:10:59,771
Oh, excuse me, ma'am? Do you
mind if I borrow your hat?
247
00:10:59,794 --> 00:11:01,674
I just want to throw it up in
the air victoriously.
248
00:11:01,685 --> 00:11:03,502
- No.
- Ma'am!
249
00:11:05,277 --> 00:11:06,978
I think that job's
perfect for April.
250
00:11:07,003 --> 00:11:09,081
We just have to convince Barney
to give her a shot.
251
00:11:09,096 --> 00:11:12,369
I mean, first problem, she's not
as qualified as the other applicants.
252
00:11:12,384 --> 00:11:14,659
Simple solution.
I break into her college
253
00:11:14,681 --> 00:11:17,155
and I change her degree
to accounting. Easy.
254
00:11:17,175 --> 00:11:19,978
On my way out, look up at
the blackboard, what is that?
255
00:11:20,003 --> 00:11:23,355
Impossible math equation?
I solve it.
256
00:11:23,377 --> 00:11:25,644
X equals Y, obviously.
257
00:11:25,657 --> 00:11:30,223
Professor comes up to me and says,
"I've been working on that for 50 years.
258
00:11:30,818 --> 00:11:34,272
Why don't you accept
this math trophy?"
259
00:11:35,014 --> 00:11:37,061
By the time he turns
around, I'm gone.
260
00:11:37,076 --> 00:11:39,450
We need to highlight
April's strengths.
261
00:11:39,471 --> 00:11:40,924
I thought we could
update her resume.
262
00:11:40,938 --> 00:11:43,322
This is the one she
applied to Parks with.
263
00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:46,532
It's just a signed photograph
of a puppet named Alf.
264
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:50,531
Okay, so, we make her an actual resume
then put on a big presentation.
265
00:11:50,546 --> 00:11:53,234
Show Barney that
she's more than qualified.
266
00:11:53,249 --> 00:11:54,515
Gonna need all
hands on deck.
267
00:11:54,535 --> 00:11:56,738
That's Craig, Donna,
and most importantly--
268
00:11:56,763 --> 00:11:58,998
- Please no.
- Come on, don't do it.
269
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:02,971
Oh, you wanna photocopy? You guys
want to do all the mindless work?
270
00:12:02,996 --> 00:12:04,941
Yeah, I didn't think so.
271
00:12:07,543 --> 00:12:09,712
Get me Garry Gergich.
272
00:12:10,903 --> 00:12:12,803
Look around, April.
273
00:12:12,818 --> 00:12:14,364
What do you see?
274
00:12:15,164 --> 00:12:18,073
Fountains. Water.
275
00:12:18,091 --> 00:12:19,458
Sky.
276
00:12:19,481 --> 00:12:22,044
You... looking at me
like a crazy person.
277
00:12:22,059 --> 00:12:25,596
I see a new home.
I am gonna take that job.
278
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,718
Ben's gonna run for Congress,
he will win eventually,
279
00:12:28,741 --> 00:12:31,553
and then we're gonna split our time
between Washington and Pawnee.
280
00:12:31,571 --> 00:12:34,757
That's great. It looks like everything
is falling into place for you.
281
00:12:34,775 --> 00:12:36,110
For us, April!
282
00:12:36,135 --> 00:12:37,876
- For us!
- Oh, God.
283
00:12:37,900 --> 00:12:40,392
Whoa! What is that?
Over there, a lamp post?
284
00:12:40,415 --> 00:12:41,744
Is that historic, do you think?
285
00:12:41,759 --> 00:12:43,244
No. They put that in
in the 70s.
286
00:12:43,259 --> 00:12:45,826
Look, I am so ahead
of my five-year plan.
287
00:12:45,842 --> 00:12:50,084
Which means that you're gonna need
a new five-year plan, and here it is.
288
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:52,569
Ow, it's hot! How did you
make this so fast?
289
00:12:52,584 --> 00:12:55,623
I keep a local binder maker
on retainer in D.C.
290
00:12:55,630 --> 00:12:58,372
We are about to embark on
such an amazing journey.
291
00:12:58,395 --> 00:13:01,702
This is gonna be our city.
And this is gonna be our bench.
292
00:13:01,727 --> 00:13:05,422
April, we have
a bench in D.C.!
293
00:13:05,438 --> 00:13:07,665
I'm sorry, Leslie,
I can't do this anymore.
294
00:13:07,673 --> 00:13:11,113
I don't want to work
in government. I quit.
295
00:13:14,138 --> 00:13:17,322
What are you talking about?
You quit? Why?
296
00:13:18,152 --> 00:13:22,829
Because, honestly, I don't even know
if I like working in national parks.
297
00:13:22,852 --> 00:13:23,844
Or government.
298
00:13:23,851 --> 00:13:26,595
I just fell backwards
into your world
299
00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:29,836
and years have gone by,
and now I'm here and--
300
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:32,456
Andy and Ben have been helping me look
into different jobs to figure out
301
00:13:32,471 --> 00:13:33,589
what I really want to do.
302
00:13:33,596 --> 00:13:35,347
Ben who? Ben Wyatt?
303
00:13:35,369 --> 00:13:37,393
He's been helping you
behind my back?
304
00:13:37,401 --> 00:13:39,552
Wow, okay, you know what,
we had a good run,
305
00:13:39,559 --> 00:13:41,075
- but he's dead to me now.
- It's just--
306
00:13:41,091 --> 00:13:43,349
I've been on this weird path
my entire adult life,
307
00:13:43,364 --> 00:13:45,177
and I need to figure out
what I really want.
308
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:46,880
I cannot believe
you're quitting.
309
00:13:46,895 --> 00:13:51,508
And I cannot believe this is the first
time I'm hearing it. And on our bench...
310
00:13:51,515 --> 00:13:53,547
of all places.
311
00:14:00,574 --> 00:14:03,119
You know, it's just so frustrating.
I mean, I love her, but, you know,
312
00:14:03,144 --> 00:14:04,969
you spend so much time and
effort on someone's life
313
00:14:04,985 --> 00:14:08,354
and she's just gonna quit on me?
It's like, what's the point, you know?
314
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,390
Wow, Leslie. I haven't
seen you this upset
315
00:14:10,406 --> 00:14:13,139
since you almost forgot
Ann's half-birthday.
316
00:14:13,154 --> 00:14:15,920
- Yeah. - Tell me. How many
times have we had lunch?
317
00:14:15,927 --> 00:14:18,708
Five. Well, eight, if you
count all those times
318
00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:20,960
I showed up unannounced at your
office with mini-muffins.
319
00:14:20,975 --> 00:14:23,475
And why have we had
lunch so many times?
320
00:14:23,494 --> 00:14:27,195
Well, because, when I knew I would
be coming to Washington to work,
321
00:14:27,202 --> 00:14:29,842
I wore you down until you
agreed to become my friend.
322
00:14:29,867 --> 00:14:31,223
I'm so glad that you did.
323
00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:35,996
And you are wonderful friend, but,
sometimes you're so focused and driven
324
00:14:36,011 --> 00:14:37,699
that you forget about
people's feelings.
325
00:14:37,719 --> 00:14:41,328
Ah, pfft! Name one time
I've done that.
326
00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:44,963
Well, you were so wrapped up in your
story that you actually ate my waffle.
327
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:51,261
Sometimes, all you can do is give people
a little bit of advice and a push,
328
00:14:51,277 --> 00:14:55,370
but you have to realize April has
to be able to make up her own mind.
329
00:14:55,385 --> 00:14:57,292
Ah, you're right...
330
00:14:57,307 --> 00:14:59,141
once again, Madeleine Albright.
331
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:03,259
- Can I have my pin back now?
- Oh! Oh, yeah, sorry.
332
00:15:03,274 --> 00:15:05,618
Thank you for letting me wear it.
Just makes me feel very powerful.
333
00:15:05,641 --> 00:15:06,516
Me too.
334
00:15:09,329 --> 00:15:11,907
Resume's done. I used bullet
points instead of numbers
335
00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:14,251
because I find it conveys
strength and confidence.
336
00:15:14,258 --> 00:15:16,587
A binder of her
accomplishments.
337
00:15:16,610 --> 00:15:18,454
Photos of her
getting the job done.
338
00:15:18,469 --> 00:15:22,092
And $500 cash, in case you want
to go the straight-up bribe route.
339
00:15:22,117 --> 00:15:23,008
Donna...
340
00:15:23,024 --> 00:15:25,016
You put me on the team,
I find a way to win.
341
00:15:25,039 --> 00:15:26,349
Okay, copies are made.
342
00:15:26,364 --> 00:15:28,472
Um, everything has been
collated and stapled.
343
00:15:28,487 --> 00:15:30,167
And all the research
has been double-checked.
344
00:15:30,175 --> 00:15:31,831
I went through quite
a few staples.
345
00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:34,527
I added a personal testimony
vouching for April's brilliance.
346
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:35,818
And this guy better
appreciate it
347
00:15:35,843 --> 00:15:38,507
because I do not compare people
to Mary J. Blige lightly.
348
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,124
Uh, no one should.
349
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:41,975
- Do you want to go to dinner tonight?
- I do not.
350
00:15:41,990 --> 00:15:42,703
Respect.
351
00:15:42,719 --> 00:15:44,032
- I'm free.
- I have plans.
352
00:15:44,054 --> 00:15:45,233
Well, great job, guys.
353
00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:47,987
With all this, Barney will at
least have to give her a shot.
354
00:15:48,012 --> 00:15:50,817
Sure, they did a good job,
but this isn't enough.
355
00:15:50,832 --> 00:15:54,660
And I've been thinking about
it all day and I have a plan
356
00:15:54,668 --> 00:15:59,212
to go the extra mile and make April
seem like the ideal candidate.
357
00:16:04,868 --> 00:16:07,010
Give me the job!
358
00:16:07,025 --> 00:16:10,486
My name's April Ludgate and my
talent is explosive!
359
00:16:12,130 --> 00:16:14,934
Go U-S-A!
U-S-A!
360
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:17,602
U-S-A!
U-S-A!
361
00:16:17,627 --> 00:16:20,525
U-S-A! When should
I tell April to show up?
362
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:21,774
My car...
363
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:29,338
Hey.
364
00:16:29,354 --> 00:16:30,713
Thank you for coming.
365
00:16:30,736 --> 00:16:34,660
Yeah, well, I had to miss the memorable
rain gutters of Washington walking tour,
366
00:16:34,675 --> 00:16:36,552
so, this better be good.
367
00:16:36,577 --> 00:16:38,952
I'm sorry I blew up
at you yesterday.
368
00:16:38,975 --> 00:16:41,716
I really want all of my friends
to be happy together,
369
00:16:41,731 --> 00:16:44,947
but, more importantly,
I just want them to be happy.
370
00:16:45,975 --> 00:16:49,545
If you feel like you need to
move on, I totally get it.
371
00:16:51,805 --> 00:16:52,688
Okay.
372
00:16:52,703 --> 00:16:54,266
- Turn around.
- What? Why?
373
00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:56,062
Because I'm about to say
something serious
374
00:16:56,085 --> 00:16:57,774
and I can't do it if I have to
look you in the eye.
375
00:16:57,797 --> 00:16:59,522
- Please.
- Okay.
376
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:03,401
Now take your shoes off
and wear them like mittens.
377
00:17:03,416 --> 00:17:05,556
- April...
- Okay, sorry.
378
00:17:07,679 --> 00:17:12,523
When I started working
for you, I was aimless
379
00:17:13,559 --> 00:17:18,434
and just thought everything
was stupid and lame, and
380
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:23,728
you turned me into someone
with goals and ambition,
381
00:17:23,753 --> 00:17:28,254
which is really the only reason why I'm
even thinking about what I really want.
382
00:17:31,035 --> 00:17:32,908
I just...
383
00:17:32,933 --> 00:17:34,792
wanna say thank you.
384
00:17:36,104 --> 00:17:38,523
And I love you very much.
385
00:17:39,232 --> 00:17:42,928
Which is why I have decided not
to turn you into a sea urchin,
386
00:17:42,943 --> 00:17:46,318
which I could do, because
I am an actual witch
387
00:17:46,334 --> 00:17:48,951
- with powers and I'm evil...
- I know.
388
00:17:48,959 --> 00:17:51,303
- and I hate everything.
- I know you do.
389
00:17:51,318 --> 00:17:54,139
I know. Thank you, April.
390
00:17:55,071 --> 00:17:57,550
So you don't have any idea
what you want to do?
391
00:17:58,859 --> 00:18:01,156
Well, here's the good news:
I am on the case.
392
00:18:01,171 --> 00:18:03,154
I know some people who might be
able to help us. Come on.
393
00:18:04,490 --> 00:18:07,360
April, this is Alyssa from the
American Service Foundation.
394
00:18:07,385 --> 00:18:10,474
They take young people like you who
are trying to explore a new path
395
00:18:10,482 --> 00:18:12,810
and match them with one of
the thousands of jobs
396
00:18:12,817 --> 00:18:14,642
across America
that help communities.
397
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:19,300
Alyssa, this is April Ludgate,
the single greatest human being ever,
398
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,826
and you need to find her a job
that she will love and cherish
399
00:18:21,841 --> 00:18:24,051
- and make her life feel complete.
- Okay. I'm sorry.
400
00:18:24,066 --> 00:18:26,769
I found this crazy woman on the street
and she won't leave me alone.
401
00:18:26,785 --> 00:18:30,005
Oh, I'm very familiar
with Leslie's... enthusiasm.
402
00:18:30,024 --> 00:18:31,591
They contacted
us last year
403
00:18:31,616 --> 00:18:33,731
because they wanted to place
some people in national parks.
404
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:36,082
Two days later, we had
set up the entire program,
405
00:18:36,105 --> 00:18:38,614
and she sent me a throw pillow
with my face stitched onto it.
406
00:18:38,637 --> 00:18:40,791
Not my best work.
Plus, you changed your hair.
407
00:18:40,816 --> 00:18:42,043
I'm gonna send
you another one.
408
00:18:42,067 --> 00:18:44,762
Okay, go solve all of
your career problems.
409
00:18:44,779 --> 00:18:46,546
- I'll wait right here.
- Sorry.
410
00:18:47,312 --> 00:18:50,037
- That-a girl!
- Ugh, Mom!
411
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:54,132
I don't know, Madeleine. They're taking
forever and I'm starting to lose it.
412
00:18:54,147 --> 00:18:56,359
Talk to me, okay?
Your voice makes me calm.
413
00:18:56,382 --> 00:18:58,083
Tell me another Yeltsin story.
414
00:18:58,094 --> 00:18:59,297
Okay, she's here.
I have to go. Bye.
415
00:18:59,312 --> 00:19:01,782
Say hi to your daughters.
Hey. Hi.
416
00:19:01,801 --> 00:19:03,068
How did it go?
417
00:19:03,085 --> 00:19:06,843
I'm great. I know exactly
what I want to do.
418
00:19:06,858 --> 00:19:09,062
Yes! Is it Teach
for America?
419
00:19:09,085 --> 00:19:10,945
No! Habitat for Humanity?
420
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,828
No! It's working
with animals.
421
00:19:12,843 --> 00:19:16,416
No. I want to work here.
At the foundation.
422
00:19:16,441 --> 00:19:18,192
I want to be like Alyssa.
423
00:19:18,214 --> 00:19:21,652
I wanna tell people what to do
and then send them far away from me.
424
00:19:21,675 --> 00:19:22,699
It's perfect.
425
00:19:22,714 --> 00:19:24,184
And it hits everything
on my list.
426
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:26,379
Creative problem solving,
working one-on-one--
427
00:19:26,394 --> 00:19:29,544
I am 100,000%
in support of this idea.
428
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,223
This is an amazing idea.
I love this idea!
429
00:19:31,246 --> 00:19:32,583
And I love you!
430
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:35,317
So are they hiring? What did
Alyssa say when you told her?
431
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,598
Um, nothing.
I didn't tell her yet.
432
00:19:36,621 --> 00:19:39,611
I wanted to see if you thought
it was a good idea first.
433
00:19:40,296 --> 00:19:42,812
What? Bad idea?
434
00:19:42,835 --> 00:19:44,632
You wanted to run
something by me?
435
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:45,958
Oh, my God.
436
00:19:45,983 --> 00:19:48,959
Yes. So, will you help me?
437
00:19:49,516 --> 00:19:51,328
April, you don't need me.
438
00:19:51,351 --> 00:19:53,309
You can get any
job you want.
439
00:19:53,334 --> 00:19:55,059
All by yourself.
440
00:19:55,084 --> 00:19:56,822
Well, obviously I'm going to
vet your resume
441
00:19:56,837 --> 00:19:58,228
and we'll hold some
mock interviews
442
00:19:58,235 --> 00:20:00,657
and I'll choose your outfit
and everything but--
443
00:20:00,682 --> 00:20:02,633
you can get this
sucker on your own.
444
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:06,995
So, long story short, we might
have found you the perfect job
445
00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:09,097
but also I might
have blown it.
446
00:20:09,104 --> 00:20:11,347
Ben and Ron are there
now to try to fix it.
447
00:20:11,362 --> 00:20:14,089
And if they don't, I feel like
it's kind of on them.
448
00:20:14,112 --> 00:20:15,864
Everyone is being
so nice to me lately.
449
00:20:15,879 --> 00:20:18,582
It's weird. I feel like I need
to take a shower in pig's blood
450
00:20:18,605 --> 00:20:20,035
to wash all
the niceness off me.
451
00:20:20,058 --> 00:20:22,246
It's because we love you.
We want you to be happy.
452
00:20:22,261 --> 00:20:24,058
This consulting job
could be the answer.
453
00:20:24,073 --> 00:20:26,831
Yeah, so about that...
454
00:20:28,781 --> 00:20:31,953
Please don't hold anything
Andy did against April.
455
00:20:31,967 --> 00:20:36,556
She is an exceptional human being,
who married a well meaning goof.
456
00:20:36,564 --> 00:20:39,447
And I think that presentation
we put together says it all.
457
00:20:39,470 --> 00:20:41,564
All we're asking is
thatyou meet with her
458
00:20:41,587 --> 00:20:44,258
and seriously consider
her for the job.
459
00:20:44,283 --> 00:20:47,223
And if she disappoints you,
you can hold me...
460
00:20:47,239 --> 00:20:49,287
accountable.
461
00:20:49,839 --> 00:20:51,924
- Right?
- You know what?
462
00:20:51,949 --> 00:20:54,049
If her friends are
trying this hard,
463
00:20:54,060 --> 00:20:56,185
there must be something
amazing about her.
464
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,087
- Tell her I'll meet with her tomorrow--
- Uh, hold on. April?
465
00:20:59,103 --> 00:21:02,867
Hey, we were just talking about you.
We got some good news.
466
00:21:05,026 --> 00:21:06,384
Oh, boy.
467
00:21:07,552 --> 00:21:08,955
Okay.
468
00:21:10,397 --> 00:21:13,490
She doesn't want the job.
469
00:21:14,678 --> 00:21:16,037
I see.
470
00:21:19,630 --> 00:21:21,802
Well, this is uncomfortable.
471
00:21:22,293 --> 00:21:29,293
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther