1
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:36,000
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2016 - New Year, New Color ;-)
2
00:01:40,881 --> 00:01:42,371
[Charlie]
That's what's good about a beer.
3
00:01:42,449 --> 00:01:44,440
- [Frank] It's good.
- [Charlie] It just keeps cycling through you.
4
00:01:44,518 --> 00:01:46,918
[Mac]
Guys, guys, guys. We've got terrible news.
5
00:01:46,987 --> 00:01:50,081
- What do you got? - You know that
Chinese fish factory across the street?
6
00:01:50,157 --> 00:01:51,647
The one with the horrible smell?
7
00:01:51,725 --> 00:01:53,556
- Ew.
- Of course. Disgusting.
8
00:01:53,627 --> 00:01:57,290
They've installed security cameras
pointed directly at Paddy's.
9
00:01:57,364 --> 00:01:58,888
- What?
- They're pointing at us?
10
00:01:58,965 --> 00:02:00,990
- They can't do that.
- Bullshit! Are they spying on us?
11
00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:03,399
Yes, I think they're spying on us,
and you know what else?
12
00:02:03,470 --> 00:02:05,995
They bought the building next door.
They are expanding like crazy.
13
00:02:06,072 --> 00:02:09,269
I'm telling you, it is only a matter of time
before the Chinese take us over.
14
00:02:09,342 --> 00:02:12,505
Oh, they've always been very secretive
for a fish factory.
15
00:02:12,579 --> 00:02:15,104
And do you ever feel like
maybe they're using that fish smell...
16
00:02:15,182 --> 00:02:17,116
to cover up, like,
maybe some other mysterious smell?
17
00:02:17,184 --> 00:02:19,982
It is an incredibly strong smell.
It's turned me off of fish.
18
00:02:20,053 --> 00:02:21,918
- Me too.
- Oh, I'm off of fish.
19
00:02:21,988 --> 00:02:24,786
- And I used to eat so much fish, guys.
- [Charlie] I love fish.
20
00:02:24,858 --> 00:02:27,486
- Because of all the good fatty acids.
- A good fish, a solid fish?
21
00:02:27,561 --> 00:02:29,586
Protein, omega numbers...
22
00:02:29,663 --> 00:02:31,893
[Dee]
So many omegas... threes, fours and fives.
23
00:02:31,965 --> 00:02:34,160
- Melts in your mouth.
- You get to eat all your scales.
24
00:02:34,234 --> 00:02:37,260
- Don't eat the scales. - You won't get
scales unless it's a fish or a reptile.
25
00:02:37,337 --> 00:02:40,431
- Don't eat reptiles.
- I'm not eating all reptiles, just the good ones.
26
00:02:40,507 --> 00:02:43,271
Okay, guys, we got a plan.
Dee, come with us.
27
00:02:43,343 --> 00:02:45,277
- Yeah.
- You're gonna help us gather intel.
28
00:02:45,345 --> 00:02:47,279
- Okay. There she goes.
- [Dennis] Let's do it. Come on.
29
00:02:47,347 --> 00:02:48,974
And then, what do Frank and I do?
30
00:02:49,049 --> 00:02:51,381
Well, you guys just hang back,
uh, do your thing.
31
00:02:51,451 --> 00:02:53,544
Don't eat reptiles and... just hang out.
32
00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:56,111
- You're going with Dee over us?
- Right.
33
00:02:56,189 --> 00:02:59,488
Is this 'cause you guys have been living
at her place ever since your fire?
34
00:02:59,559 --> 00:03:02,153
I feel like, you burn your place down,
you move into Dee's...
35
00:03:02,229 --> 00:03:04,629
- and now you're getting all buddy-buddy...
- Yeah, chummy-chummy.
36
00:03:04,698 --> 00:03:06,495
Yeah, I guess so, if you need.
37
00:03:06,566 --> 00:03:08,727
That's crazy! Dee over us?
38
00:03:08,802 --> 00:03:11,862
I mean, you can't count on her.
You're completely unreliable, Dee, really.
39
00:03:11,938 --> 00:03:14,065
You're, like, all gangly and uncoordinated.
40
00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:15,937
And she's constantly gonna back-sass you.
41
00:03:16,009 --> 00:03:17,909
- Oh, she'll argue with everything you say.
- It's bullshit.
42
00:03:17,978 --> 00:03:21,038
No, you know what's bullshit?
Me getting boxed out all the time.
43
00:03:21,114 --> 00:03:23,275
And these guys have finally realized
by living with me...
44
00:03:23,350 --> 00:03:26,649
that old Dee is pretty cool after all,
and pretty funny too.
45
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,086
So maybe I shouldn't be the butt
of everybody's jokes anymore.
46
00:03:29,155 --> 00:03:31,020
Let's... Let's not get crazy, Dee.
47
00:03:31,091 --> 00:03:33,457
- You're always gonna be the butt of our jokes.
- Whatever. Let's roll.
48
00:03:33,527 --> 00:03:35,085
We're still gonna
make jokes at your expense.
49
00:03:35,161 --> 00:03:37,891
All right.
Uh, just hang. Uh, we're good.
50
00:03:37,964 --> 00:03:39,659
- Huh?
- What the hell was that?
51
00:03:39,733 --> 00:03:42,201
Something stinks here, Charlie,
and it ain't just the fish.
52
00:03:42,269 --> 00:03:44,464
The other day, I was trying
to get in the back office...
53
00:03:44,538 --> 00:03:45,869
- Yeah?
- Dennis had the door locked.
54
00:03:45,939 --> 00:03:47,668
Mac locked the door too.
55
00:03:47,741 --> 00:03:49,936
- What is that?
- Who locks the office door?
56
00:03:50,010 --> 00:03:52,570
I feel like they're always sneaking around
now, and they're all nervous.
57
00:03:52,646 --> 00:03:54,614
Something big is definitely going down.
58
00:03:54,681 --> 00:03:57,548
I got a plan. How about you and I spy
on that Chinese factory?
59
00:03:57,617 --> 00:04:01,018
But, Charlie, I trust the Chinese
as far as I could throw their factory.
60
00:04:01,087 --> 00:04:03,715
- Mm-hmm.
- But the real threat isn't abroad, Charlie.
61
00:04:03,790 --> 00:04:05,348
It's right here at home.
62
00:04:06,593 --> 00:04:10,029
We gotta spy on Mac and Dennis.
63
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,294
[Groans]
64
00:04:48,368 --> 00:04:50,165
Oh, God, that smell.
65
00:04:50,236 --> 00:04:52,329
[Dennis]
The air quality in here is terrible!
66
00:04:52,405 --> 00:04:53,997
How do these people survive in this?
67
00:04:54,074 --> 00:04:55,632
Ooh. Well, you know the Chinese.
68
00:04:55,709 --> 00:04:57,677
It's business first, breathing second.
69
00:04:57,744 --> 00:04:58,802
Goddamn it!
70
00:04:58,878 --> 00:05:00,709
At least we know it's a real fish factory...
71
00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:02,577
and not some sort of a front for something.
72
00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:04,378
- Well...
- Dee, we don't know that for sure.
73
00:05:04,451 --> 00:05:06,112
That's why you gotta get a job here.
74
00:05:06,186 --> 00:05:09,849
- I gotta get a job here? What am I looking for?
- Shady practices, you know?
75
00:05:09,923 --> 00:05:11,914
Sketchy dealings. Schematics.
76
00:05:11,992 --> 00:05:15,450
Ah, human rights violations, anything, Dee.
Just-Just, you know, gather intel.
77
00:05:15,528 --> 00:05:16,961
Okay. What are you guys gonna do?
78
00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:19,157
Dee, you're on
a need-to-know basis here.
79
00:05:19,232 --> 00:05:21,462
There's a chain of command here.
You're at the very bottom.
80
00:05:21,534 --> 00:05:24,059
- You're way down.
- At least tell me what the whole plan is.
81
00:05:24,137 --> 00:05:26,935
Dee, the one time we bring you in on a thing
instead of Charlie...
82
00:05:27,007 --> 00:05:28,770
and all we get is back-sass and questions?
83
00:05:28,842 --> 00:05:30,901
- Do you want to be on the team or not?
- Yeah.
84
00:05:30,977 --> 00:05:34,071
Yeah, I want to be part of the team, okay?
Yes, sorry.
85
00:05:35,582 --> 00:05:37,209
So how do I gather the intel?
86
00:05:37,283 --> 00:05:39,513
Oh, Jesus Chri... Talk to people.
87
00:05:39,586 --> 00:05:41,281
I don't know. Flirt with the manager.
88
00:05:41,354 --> 00:05:43,345
He'll love how "pretty"
and "blonde" you are.
89
00:05:43,423 --> 00:05:44,617
Don't do that. I'm blonde.
90
00:05:44,691 --> 00:05:47,023
Look, my mind goes to that office up there.
91
00:05:47,093 --> 00:05:49,061
What kind of shady shit's going on in there?
92
00:05:49,129 --> 00:05:50,562
Now I'm doing your job for you.
93
00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:52,860
Let's get Charlie.
I don't want to hold her hand.
94
00:05:52,932 --> 00:05:55,526
No, no, no, no, no.
No Charlie. No Charlie, okay?
95
00:05:55,602 --> 00:05:57,229
I got this, you guys. I got this.
96
00:05:57,303 --> 00:06:00,067
- Don't worry about me. I got this.
- Okay, we need you, Dee.
97
00:06:00,140 --> 00:06:03,075
- Go. Go.
- Go. All right. Good.
98
00:06:06,780 --> 00:06:09,112
- [Door Opens]
- It sucks not having our own apartment.
99
00:06:09,182 --> 00:06:12,618
- We got to get back in there.
- I know. I hate Dee. Dennis, I hate her.
100
00:06:12,686 --> 00:06:15,587
I know, but at least we got her
out of our hair for a little while...
101
00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:17,088
and we can finally do our plan.
102
00:06:17,157 --> 00:06:18,488
- Yes, okay.
- [Knocking On Door]
103
00:06:18,558 --> 00:06:20,048
- Oh, goddamn it.
- What is that?
104
00:06:20,126 --> 00:06:21,491
Goddamn it! All right, look.
105
00:06:21,561 --> 00:06:23,620
Let's just deal with it,
and then get back to business.
106
00:06:23,697 --> 00:06:25,528
- [Knocking Continues]
- Yeah, okay. All right, all right.
107
00:06:25,598 --> 00:06:27,122
I'm coming!
108
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:28,963
I'm coming.
Jesus Christ. Ugh.
109
00:06:29,035 --> 00:06:31,401
- Hey, guys.
- What do you want, Charlie? We're busy.
110
00:06:31,471 --> 00:06:34,838
I wanted to apologize about,
um, snapping earlier today...
111
00:06:34,908 --> 00:06:39,538
with words at you guys, and then I came here
to make an apology... apology words.
112
00:06:39,612 --> 00:06:42,445
- What's he talking about? - I don't
know. I don't remember. Okay, thank you.
113
00:06:42,515 --> 00:06:44,278
Hang on! Hang on a second.
114
00:06:44,350 --> 00:06:46,443
I got you guys
a flower arrangement for you.
115
00:06:46,519 --> 00:06:50,080
- Great. Thanks.
- You can't just have it. There's a plan.
116
00:06:50,156 --> 00:06:52,556
I have to come in and give it to you.
And put it down.
117
00:06:52,625 --> 00:06:54,354
Fine.
Come in, put 'em down and then go.
118
00:06:54,427 --> 00:06:55,860
- Okay, I'm in.
- He's in.
119
00:06:55,929 --> 00:06:58,056
[Charlie]
Okay. Uh...
120
00:06:58,131 --> 00:07:00,622
Put the vase close to them,
so we can see them.
121
00:07:00,700 --> 00:07:02,531
[Charlie]
Right. Okay. And good.
122
00:07:02,602 --> 00:07:04,365
Where are you guys
spending most of your time?
123
00:07:04,437 --> 00:07:07,099
It's a very small apartment. We're all over
the place. Just put 'em anywhere.
124
00:07:07,173 --> 00:07:09,403
And I'll put 'em down right here then.
125
00:07:09,476 --> 00:07:11,239
No. No good. Move 'em.
126
00:07:11,311 --> 00:07:13,541
Can't put 'em here though.
127
00:07:13,613 --> 00:07:15,444
[Frank Chatters In Earpiece]
128
00:07:15,515 --> 00:07:17,449
- Where can I put 'em?
- Dude, any...
129
00:07:17,517 --> 00:07:19,417
Put 'em in the trash for all we care.
130
00:07:19,486 --> 00:07:20,976
Putting 'em a little further back, so...
131
00:07:21,054 --> 00:07:23,955
- [Frank] Yeah, that's good.
- And right about here.
132
00:07:24,924 --> 00:07:27,324
Uh, great. We don't care. It's fine.
133
00:07:27,393 --> 00:07:28,758
No, to the left.
134
00:07:28,828 --> 00:07:31,092
- To the left, you say?
- Didn't say that.
135
00:07:31,164 --> 00:07:34,292
- Don't talk out loud to me.
- Roger that.
136
00:07:34,367 --> 00:07:36,267
- Who's Roger?
- Who's Roger?
137
00:07:36,336 --> 00:07:39,100
- Just...
- [Frank Chatters]
138
00:07:39,172 --> 00:07:41,140
Thinking about legally
changing my name to Roger.
139
00:07:41,207 --> 00:07:43,175
What's wrong with your ear, dude?
140
00:07:43,243 --> 00:07:46,440
Just... A spider crawled up in my ear.
It's living there.
141
00:07:46,513 --> 00:07:48,640
Right.
142
00:07:48,715 --> 00:07:49,943
Sends its thoughts to me.
143
00:07:50,016 --> 00:07:52,007
Is it telling you to leave?
144
00:07:52,085 --> 00:07:53,575
Spider, can I leave?
145
00:07:53,653 --> 00:07:55,678
[Frank]
Charlie, just a little to the left.
146
00:07:57,690 --> 00:08:00,454
- Right there. That's good. Now get out of there.
- Okay.
147
00:08:03,329 --> 00:08:05,058
Oh, Jesus Chr...
148
00:08:05,131 --> 00:08:07,429
- Let's get back to business, please.
- Yeah, come on.
149
00:08:10,570 --> 00:08:14,301
I was doing a little research earlier,
and I stumbled upon something huge.
150
00:08:14,374 --> 00:08:18,401
Hey, man.
Can you hear and see everything?
151
00:08:18,478 --> 00:08:21,106
- They're talking about research.
- Research, huh?
152
00:08:21,181 --> 00:08:22,842
It is everything
that we've been looking for.
153
00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:26,044
Dude, it's gonna save us so much time.
It is a game changer.
154
00:08:26,119 --> 00:08:28,053
Check this out.
155
00:08:28,121 --> 00:08:29,452
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
156
00:08:29,522 --> 00:08:30,819
There's so much potential here.
157
00:08:30,890 --> 00:08:32,585
- What is it?
- [Mac] This is great!
158
00:08:32,659 --> 00:08:34,456
- I can't see.
- Yeah, shit.
159
00:08:34,527 --> 00:08:35,858
So, listen, do me a favor.
160
00:08:35,929 --> 00:08:37,590
Give me a little time with this, okay?
161
00:08:37,664 --> 00:08:40,224
Let me dig into this,
see what the potential really is.
162
00:08:40,300 --> 00:08:41,562
Yeah, I'll give you some space.
163
00:08:41,634 --> 00:08:42,828
- Yeah.
- Okay.
164
00:08:42,902 --> 00:08:44,062
- Oh, and Mac.
- Yeah?
165
00:08:44,137 --> 00:08:45,900
- One more thing.
- Mm-hmm?
166
00:08:47,407 --> 00:08:49,534
Throw those goddamn flowers
in the trash.
167
00:08:49,609 --> 00:08:51,668
Yeah. Right.
168
00:08:51,744 --> 00:08:53,974
Pieces of shit.
[Sighs]
169
00:08:54,047 --> 00:08:55,742
- [Glass Breaks]
- [Feedback]
170
00:08:55,815 --> 00:08:57,305
- Goddamn it!
- Son of a bitch.
171
00:08:57,383 --> 00:09:00,113
- We got to get our hands on that laptop.
- Right.
172
00:09:08,995 --> 00:09:11,156
Name's Dee. I'm new around here.
173
00:09:11,231 --> 00:09:13,426
So what's the deal with these masks, huh?
174
00:09:13,499 --> 00:09:16,332
Are they gonna protect you from the fish
or protect the fish from you?
175
00:09:16,402 --> 00:09:19,496
- Am I right?
- [Speaks Cantonese]
176
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:21,502
No. I didn't get that.
177
00:09:21,574 --> 00:09:24,008
You chop fish, pull gut!
178
00:09:24,077 --> 00:09:25,977
"Pull gut." Totally, yeah.
179
00:09:26,045 --> 00:09:28,878
Listen, I'm gonna pop this off 'cause
it's not protecting me from the smell...
180
00:09:28,948 --> 00:09:30,813
so I'm not really sure what its point is.
181
00:09:30,884 --> 00:09:32,818
Hey. [Clears Throat]
Give me the skinny.
182
00:09:32,886 --> 00:09:37,653
Are you guys up to anything
non-fish related around here or...
183
00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:40,284
[Speaks Cantonese]
184
00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:44,091
Seriously? All right, goddamn it.
You are of no use to me.
185
00:09:44,664 --> 00:09:46,291
Oh, here we go.
186
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:49,065
Uh, excuse me. Hello.
187
00:09:49,135 --> 00:09:50,261
Hi. Um...
188
00:09:50,336 --> 00:09:53,601
Uh, my name's Dee,
and I'm new around here...
189
00:09:53,673 --> 00:09:56,699
and I just would love to chat with you
sometime in private, you know?
190
00:09:56,776 --> 00:10:00,371
Maybe up in your secret
private office up there?
191
00:10:01,447 --> 00:10:03,813
I need you to chop fish and pull the gut.
192
00:10:03,883 --> 00:10:07,080
Yeah. No, I get it. I get that you're
a chop-fish, pull-gut factory.
193
00:10:07,153 --> 00:10:08,620
Wait, wait, wait!
Don't go anywhere. Hi.
194
00:10:08,688 --> 00:10:11,248
Um... Uh, how about this, huh?
195
00:10:12,091 --> 00:10:14,355
Uh-oh. What do you see, huh?
196
00:10:14,427 --> 00:10:16,554
American girl, blue eyes, blonde hair...
197
00:10:16,629 --> 00:10:18,256
- Aaah!
- [Loud Grinding]
198
00:10:19,299 --> 00:10:20,664
[Shouting In Cantonese]
199
00:10:20,733 --> 00:10:23,566
It's got me!
It's got me good! Aaah!
200
00:10:24,570 --> 00:10:26,800
It's in my mouth. It's getting in...
201
00:10:27,573 --> 00:10:28,562
[Shrieks]
202
00:10:33,446 --> 00:10:35,914
- Hi. Hey, guys.
- What are you doing, dude?
203
00:10:35,982 --> 00:10:37,973
- You texted us 911. What's the emergency?
- Yeah.
204
00:10:38,051 --> 00:10:39,746
Oh, yeah. Uh, well...
205
00:10:39,819 --> 00:10:41,912
our friendship's in danger, so...
206
00:10:41,988 --> 00:10:44,081
I stole Frank's credit card.
You guys want to have lunch?
207
00:10:44,157 --> 00:10:45,818
- You got Frank's card?
- I got the card.
208
00:10:45,892 --> 00:10:48,326
All right, I'm annoyed,
but I could eat. All right, let's go.
209
00:10:48,394 --> 00:10:50,487
To be honest with you,
my taste for fish is returning.
210
00:10:50,563 --> 00:10:52,258
[Charlie]
I've been thinking about it all day.
211
00:10:52,332 --> 00:10:53,959
My taste for fish is slowly returning too.
212
00:10:54,033 --> 00:10:55,864
And Guigino's does have the best fish.
Very well.
213
00:10:55,935 --> 00:10:57,903
You know, maybe just order
a couple apps though.
214
00:10:57,971 --> 00:10:59,802
I think Frank would prefer that,
you know...
215
00:10:59,872 --> 00:11:01,533
Who cares what Frank prefers?
216
00:11:01,607 --> 00:11:03,802
We're buying this food
with his stolen credit card.
217
00:11:03,876 --> 00:11:06,344
[Chuckling]
And I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.
218
00:11:08,848 --> 00:11:11,510
- Uh, welcome back, gentlemen.
- I'm sorry. Do I know you, pal?
219
00:11:11,584 --> 00:11:15,042
- I've never seen this man before in my life.
- I waited on you before.
220
00:11:15,121 --> 00:11:17,089
You tied my shoelaces together. I fell down.
221
00:11:17,156 --> 00:11:19,124
I'm getting nothing.
I'm drawing a blank on this guy.
222
00:11:19,192 --> 00:11:20,784
That means nothing to me.
What are you saying?
223
00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:23,488
A scalding hot plate
of spaghetti fell into my face?
224
00:11:23,563 --> 00:11:25,895
I'm to remember every man
I've seen fall into a plate of spaghetti?
225
00:11:25,965 --> 00:11:27,956
Never mind. Uh, can I get your order?
226
00:11:28,034 --> 00:11:30,229
- Get me the snapper, bozo.
- Snapper fish for the man.
227
00:11:30,303 --> 00:11:33,238
Actually, our fish supplier
had an incident at their facility...
228
00:11:33,306 --> 00:11:34,796
so we are limited on fish.
229
00:11:34,874 --> 00:11:36,535
Market price is quite high today.
230
00:11:36,609 --> 00:11:37,871
Do you have the snapper or not?
231
00:11:37,944 --> 00:11:40,970
Yeah, uh, we do. But it's $44.
232
00:11:41,047 --> 00:11:42,480
Ooh. Oh, my God. All right.
233
00:11:42,548 --> 00:11:44,345
Then let's do something cheaper.
Chicken or, uh...
234
00:11:44,417 --> 00:11:46,749
No, I'm in a fish mood now.
Fish has been established.
235
00:11:46,819 --> 00:11:49,652
- It was established, wasn't it?
- Yeah, it was. So three snappers.
236
00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:52,213
Why are we talking about it so much?
Get the goddamn snappers.
237
00:11:52,291 --> 00:11:53,417
- Okay.
- Get the snapper!
238
00:11:53,493 --> 00:11:54,721
- Jesus Christ.
- Who is that guy?
239
00:11:54,794 --> 00:11:56,125
Guigino's is slipping. Slipping.
240
00:11:56,195 --> 00:11:58,493
It is. They are slipping.
They do have great fish though.
241
00:11:58,564 --> 00:12:00,395
- So, what's going on with our friendship?
- Yeah.
242
00:12:00,466 --> 00:12:02,366
[Sighs]
Okay.
243
00:12:05,138 --> 00:12:08,539
Ha. Charlie, I'm in.
244
00:12:08,608 --> 00:12:11,168
How you doing?
You having lunch? Keeping them busy?
245
00:12:11,244 --> 00:12:13,610
Uh, yeah. But slight hitch though.
246
00:12:13,679 --> 00:12:16,580
The snapper is, uh, $44.
247
00:12:16,649 --> 00:12:20,176
What? No, no, no, no $44.
Get 'em appetizers.
248
00:12:20,253 --> 00:12:23,017
I know, but, like, they want fish,
and I kind of want fish too...
249
00:12:23,089 --> 00:12:25,353
and the waiter said it's
the market price, so...
250
00:12:25,425 --> 00:12:27,222
All right. Wait, I got the laptop.
251
00:12:27,293 --> 00:12:29,420
Let me go to the search history.
252
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:37,092
Holy shit.
253
00:12:38,504 --> 00:12:40,995
[Dee]
Damn it. Sweeping up fish guts with a broom?
254
00:12:41,074 --> 00:12:43,235
Got to be some kind
of workers' rights violation.
255
00:12:43,309 --> 00:12:44,799
What are you... Aaah, you idiot!
256
00:12:44,877 --> 00:12:46,367
Are you picking it up with your hands?
257
00:12:46,446 --> 00:12:48,710
[Speaking Cantonese]
258
00:12:48,781 --> 00:12:50,305
Uh, hell no, lady. No.
259
00:12:50,383 --> 00:12:52,578
Look, I realize
this might all be moon talk to you...
260
00:12:52,652 --> 00:12:55,120
but I'm not touching fish guts
with my hands, okay?
261
00:12:55,188 --> 00:12:56,450
You know what we could do?
262
00:12:56,522 --> 00:12:57,989
Yeah, like just disperse it.
263
00:12:58,057 --> 00:13:00,389
You know what I mean?
Just send it all over the place.
264
00:13:00,460 --> 00:13:02,690
Nobody will know.
Just kind of... There we go.
265
00:13:02,762 --> 00:13:04,923
- [Tires Squeal]
- Whoa, uh-oh. Lay off.
266
00:13:08,801 --> 00:13:10,268
- [Chatter]
- [Alarm Blares]
267
00:13:11,204 --> 00:13:12,728
[Shouting In Cantonese]
268
00:13:12,805 --> 00:13:16,366
- [Shouting In Cantonese]
- I know. Yeah, it's so crazy.
269
00:13:16,442 --> 00:13:18,103
I saw that.
270
00:13:25,518 --> 00:13:27,952
[Sighs]
Hi, Frank. Sweet hat and jacket.
271
00:13:28,020 --> 00:13:30,113
- Don't... Charlie, don't sit there.
- Huh?
272
00:13:30,189 --> 00:13:32,817
- Sit back there. We gotta be smart about this.
- Yeah, all right.
273
00:13:32,892 --> 00:13:35,417
Why didn't we just meet back at the apartment?
That would've been better.
274
00:13:35,495 --> 00:13:37,224
Because you got me thinking about fish.
275
00:13:37,296 --> 00:13:39,457
Oh, right, nice.
Yeah, get the snapper. It's delicious.
276
00:13:39,532 --> 00:13:40,999
- Mmm.
- Hi. How can I help you?
277
00:13:42,235 --> 00:13:44,703
Oh, perfect. You're here now too.
278
00:13:44,770 --> 00:13:47,261
You're talking to me like you know me.
Have we ever met?
279
00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:49,433
Let's just move past this part.
What can I get you?
280
00:13:49,509 --> 00:13:51,067
I'm gonna have the snapper.
281
00:13:51,144 --> 00:13:54,773
And I'm gonna buy one for the strange man
behind me who I've never met.
282
00:13:54,847 --> 00:13:58,044
Gentlemen, I hate to inform you two...
strangers here...
283
00:13:58,117 --> 00:13:59,607
that we are out of snapper.
284
00:13:59,685 --> 00:14:01,482
We had some issues
with our local supplier...
285
00:14:01,554 --> 00:14:03,215
so we are completely out of fish today.
286
00:14:03,289 --> 00:14:05,086
How do you not have fish?
287
00:14:05,158 --> 00:14:07,524
It says "Fresh fish daily" on the menu.
288
00:14:07,593 --> 00:14:10,061
Well, I just explained it.
I went step by step.
289
00:14:10,129 --> 00:14:12,222
But how come you don't have it?
It's on the menu.
290
00:14:12,298 --> 00:14:14,323
- For the reasons I said.
- You have no snapper?
291
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:16,391
- The sequence of events...
- It says here, "snapper."
292
00:14:16,469 --> 00:14:19,233
- Do you have fish or not?
- Can I get you a non-fish entrée?
293
00:14:19,305 --> 00:14:22,536
- You can get lost.
- With pleasure.
294
00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:24,576
All right, so,
what did you find out?
295
00:14:24,644 --> 00:14:27,807
- I think I know what those guys are up to.
- Can I just sit over there?
296
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:31,043
- I feel like the cover's blown now, and now
I have to... - All right, sit over here.
297
00:14:33,386 --> 00:14:35,581
- I think I know what they're up to.
- Okay, what?
298
00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:37,885
I think Mac and Dennis
are going into business...
299
00:14:37,957 --> 00:14:39,754
with the Chinese guys across the street.
300
00:14:39,825 --> 00:14:42,385
- What? - They're gonna open up
some kind of pastry factory.
301
00:14:42,461 --> 00:14:44,088
What? What makes you think that?
302
00:14:44,163 --> 00:14:46,393
I saw it on their search history.
303
00:14:46,465 --> 00:14:49,161
Only two words came up...
304
00:14:49,235 --> 00:14:51,066
"Asians"...
305
00:14:51,137 --> 00:14:53,332
and "cream pies."
306
00:14:53,406 --> 00:14:55,067
Oh, shit.
307
00:14:55,141 --> 00:14:58,668
They're gonna turn Paddy's
into some kind of Asian cream pie factory!
308
00:14:58,744 --> 00:15:00,234
- Those bastards!
- Yeah!
309
00:15:00,313 --> 00:15:02,213
- Oh, my God!
- Sons of bitches!
310
00:15:02,281 --> 00:15:04,772
- What are we gonna do?
- Beat them at their own game.
311
00:15:04,850 --> 00:15:08,115
Okay, the Chinese want cream pies,
they'll get cream pies.
312
00:15:08,187 --> 00:15:11,281
But only, they're not gonna get them
from those bozos.
313
00:15:11,357 --> 00:15:16,693
They're gonna be
getting their cream pies from us.
314
00:15:23,869 --> 00:15:25,803
- [Door Opens]
- [Mac] Can I go now?
315
00:15:25,871 --> 00:15:27,862
I feel like you had
a really long session last time.
316
00:15:27,940 --> 00:15:31,000
I did, yeah. I went on for a long time,
but that's how much it takes.
317
00:15:31,077 --> 00:15:33,272
I'm trying to build up to something,
to a major finish.
318
00:15:33,346 --> 00:15:35,280
And I didn't get to
because Charlie interrupted us...
319
00:15:35,348 --> 00:15:36,713
with his goddamn emergency lunch.
320
00:15:36,782 --> 00:15:39,114
What are you doing?
I really don't want to stumble across...
321
00:15:39,185 --> 00:15:40,584
whatever it is that you're stumbling across.
322
00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:42,382
- Let me finish.
- Wait, no... We got a problem here.
323
00:15:42,455 --> 00:15:44,389
- What?
- The Internet's not working.
324
00:15:44,457 --> 00:15:48,359
What? No. No!
325
00:15:48,427 --> 00:15:50,520
- [Cell Phone Rings]
- Come on!
326
00:15:50,596 --> 00:15:52,530
- [Ringing Continues]
- Oh, son of a bitch.
327
00:15:52,598 --> 00:15:54,828
What is it, Charlie?
We're in the middle of a crisis.
328
00:15:54,900 --> 00:15:56,925
[Charlie]
Trouble getting online?
329
00:15:57,003 --> 00:15:58,334
Yeah, how did you know that?
330
00:15:58,404 --> 00:16:00,269
We need to talk.
331
00:16:05,511 --> 00:16:08,173
Hi, how can I help... Oh, you're back.
332
00:16:08,247 --> 00:16:09,737
Why do you look familiar to me?
333
00:16:09,815 --> 00:16:11,806
I'm the waiter you didn't tip earlier.
334
00:16:11,884 --> 00:16:15,376
Yeah, well, you're not gonna
get tipped again with that attitude.
335
00:16:15,454 --> 00:16:18,082
We'll take the snapper.
Uh, this guy too. He's with us.
336
00:16:18,157 --> 00:16:22,321
Well, as I told this gentleman
only moments ago, we are out of fish today.
337
00:16:22,395 --> 00:16:25,091
We came to Guigino's for the fish.
It says "Fresh fish daily."
338
00:16:25,164 --> 00:16:30,397
Uh, you know what, Dennis? I'll have a plate
of piping-hot spaghetti instead. Extra sauce.
339
00:16:30,469 --> 00:16:32,334
[Sighs]
All right. You know what? That sounds good.
340
00:16:32,405 --> 00:16:33,929
I'll take spaghetti too. Nice and sloppy.
341
00:16:34,006 --> 00:16:36,736
- So you do remember me.
- We're busy.
342
00:16:36,809 --> 00:16:39,607
- He wants spaghetti. I want spaghetti too.
- He's gonna get spaghetti.
343
00:16:39,679 --> 00:16:41,670
- Get us the spaghetti.
- And some snapper, if you have it.
344
00:16:41,747 --> 00:16:43,647
[Mac]
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
345
00:16:43,716 --> 00:16:46,378
- What's that guy's attitude?
- I don't know what that guy's deal is.
346
00:16:46,452 --> 00:16:49,910
Hey, you know what we should do?
We should tie his shoelaces together.
347
00:16:49,989 --> 00:16:51,957
Classic.
When he falls, it'll spill all over.
348
00:16:52,024 --> 00:16:53,548
Yeah, the spaghetti will get on him.
349
00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:54,991
I've always wanted to see that.
350
00:16:55,061 --> 00:16:57,552
Can I come sit with you guys?
I feel my cover's blown.
351
00:16:57,630 --> 00:17:00,064
You don't have a goddamn cover.
You're dressed like it's Halloween.
352
00:17:00,132 --> 00:17:01,724
- Come over here.
- I'm coming over.
353
00:17:01,801 --> 00:17:04,395
- What's going on, man?
- What's going on?
354
00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:05,994
Listen, Frank's onto you.
355
00:17:06,072 --> 00:17:08,540
That's why I had Dee's Internet shut down.
He knows what you're doing.
356
00:17:08,607 --> 00:17:10,097
- Come on.
- Frank knows what we're doing?
357
00:17:10,176 --> 00:17:14,010
Yes. And honestly, guys,
you should be ashamed of yourselves, really.
358
00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:15,411
What? I'm not ashamed.
359
00:17:15,481 --> 00:17:17,506
I'm a little bit ashamed,
but I think that's natural.
360
00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:19,983
Look, here's the thing.
Now Frank wants to start doing it too.
361
00:17:20,052 --> 00:17:21,576
- So what?
- So what? Let him do it.
362
00:17:21,654 --> 00:17:23,417
Well, he wants me to do it with him.
363
00:17:23,489 --> 00:17:25,423
- I assumed you two did that already.
- Me too.
364
00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:28,255
No! He wants us to do it
with the Chinese guy across the street.
365
00:17:28,327 --> 00:17:29,817
I knew you wouldn't be into that.
366
00:17:29,895 --> 00:17:31,863
Well, no, I'm not into that.
That's bizarre.
367
00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:34,923
Exactly. I feel like I should
be doing it with you guys.
368
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,160
- [Groans]
- Oh.
369
00:17:36,235 --> 00:17:38,032
- Come on, man.
- This is getting weird and messy.
370
00:17:38,104 --> 00:17:40,095
I don't want to get you involved.
There's too many people.
371
00:17:40,172 --> 00:17:42,197
- Just go do it with Frank.
- Is Dee in on it?
372
00:17:42,274 --> 00:17:44,242
- Ew! God, no!
- Come on. Why would we...
373
00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:46,244
- [Groans]
- That's why she's at the factory, to distract her.
374
00:17:46,312 --> 00:17:49,110
Come on, guys.
It should be you and me, okay?
375
00:17:49,181 --> 00:17:51,274
I like cream pies as much as the next guy.
376
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:53,545
Oh, shh-shh... Don't say it out loud.
377
00:17:53,619 --> 00:17:54,813
Okay, okay, okay.
378
00:17:54,887 --> 00:17:56,650
Let me make a...
[Whispers] cream pie...
379
00:17:56,722 --> 00:17:58,053
for you, okay?
380
00:17:58,124 --> 00:17:59,955
Then you can try it. See what you think.
381
00:18:01,093 --> 00:18:03,527
I do not want to taste your cream pie.
382
00:18:03,596 --> 00:18:05,621
They taste great, I can guarantee it.
383
00:18:05,698 --> 00:18:07,529
[Gasps]
You've tasted yours?
384
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:09,591
- Of course I have. Haven't you?
- No!
385
00:18:09,668 --> 00:18:11,363
I've tasted mine. I didn't like it.
386
00:18:11,437 --> 00:18:13,371
- I've tasted mine, yeah.
- I-I liked mine.
387
00:18:13,439 --> 00:18:15,999
Whatever, dude.
If you don't care about the taste, fine.
388
00:18:16,075 --> 00:18:19,238
- But they're not just gonna be for us anyway.
- It's not... What?
389
00:18:19,311 --> 00:18:22,178
- We're gonna sell them to everyone in Philly.
- Who the hell's gonna buy 'em?
390
00:18:22,248 --> 00:18:24,580
Everyone's gonna buy 'em.
Everyone loves them, especially little kids.
391
00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:26,709
- Ew, dude!
- Little kids?
392
00:18:26,786 --> 00:18:28,310
I'd love watching a kid do it.
393
00:18:28,387 --> 00:18:30,912
- Dude, you are gonna get in a lot of trouble.
- Hell, no, dude.
394
00:18:30,990 --> 00:18:33,220
It's not like I'm gonna do it
without the parents' permission.
395
00:18:33,292 --> 00:18:35,590
- No parent is gonna let you...
- Where are you gonna go?
396
00:18:35,661 --> 00:18:37,390
The parents are gonna watch.
397
00:18:37,463 --> 00:18:39,590
They're not gonna watch!
What are you talking about?
398
00:18:39,665 --> 00:18:41,724
- We gotta go overseas for that. That's disg...
- No.
399
00:18:41,801 --> 00:18:43,132
That's as American as it gets.
400
00:18:43,202 --> 00:18:45,033
You gotta think about this
as a business venture.
401
00:18:45,104 --> 00:18:46,901
The three of us combining our ingredients...
402
00:18:46,972 --> 00:18:49,497
making, like, one gigantic,
delicious cream pie...
403
00:18:49,575 --> 00:18:52,408
some little kid sucking it down,
and he's paying us for the pleasure.
404
00:18:53,746 --> 00:18:55,680
Hang on a second.
405
00:18:55,748 --> 00:18:57,682
What kind of cream pie
are you talking about?
406
00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:00,810
What kind of cream pie
are you talking about?
407
00:19:02,555 --> 00:19:04,182
- ♪♪ [The Star-Spangled Banner]
- [Frank] Cream pies.
408
00:19:04,256 --> 00:19:05,746
Everyone loves them.
409
00:19:05,825 --> 00:19:09,989
Comedians, baseball players,
even protesters.
410
00:19:11,063 --> 00:19:13,156
Cream pies are a rich American tradition...
411
00:19:13,232 --> 00:19:16,133
and also delicious.
412
00:19:16,202 --> 00:19:18,727
Mmm, my mouth's getting wet...
413
00:19:18,804 --> 00:19:21,102
just watching her eat that cream pie.
414
00:19:21,173 --> 00:19:23,505
Asians know electronics.
415
00:19:23,576 --> 00:19:24,634
And fish.
416
00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:27,941
But Americans know cream pies...
417
00:19:28,013 --> 00:19:29,446
except for them.
418
00:19:29,515 --> 00:19:32,279
God bless cream pies...
419
00:19:32,351 --> 00:19:35,445
- and God bless America.
- ♪♪ [Ends]
420
00:19:35,521 --> 00:19:38,217
- ♪♪ [Traditional Chinese]
- And China too.
421
00:19:39,758 --> 00:19:40,816
♪♪ [Ends]
422
00:19:40,893 --> 00:19:43,953
Look, I'm an experienced businessman...
423
00:19:44,029 --> 00:19:46,554
with a long history in Asian countries.
424
00:19:46,632 --> 00:19:50,898
Imagine my cream pie taste and know-how...
425
00:19:50,970 --> 00:19:53,530
combined with your underpaid labor force?
426
00:19:53,606 --> 00:19:56,336
- We could corner the cream pie market.
- [Ladder Rattles]
427
00:19:56,408 --> 00:19:59,309
- [Cell Phone Rings]
- Wait. Wait just a second.
428
00:19:59,378 --> 00:20:02,347
It's, uh... It's my business partner.
429
00:20:02,414 --> 00:20:04,712
Hello?
I'm in the middle of the meeting now.
430
00:20:04,783 --> 00:20:07,718
- The video killed.
- [Charlie Chatters]
431
00:20:09,054 --> 00:20:11,545
What do you mean,
it's not the same kind of cream pie?
432
00:20:11,624 --> 00:20:13,956
- [Charlie Shouting, Indistinct]
- Oh, wait. I'll look.
433
00:20:15,694 --> 00:20:18,424
[Squeegee Squeaks]
434
00:20:18,497 --> 00:20:21,057
[Woman Speaking Mandarin]
435
00:20:21,133 --> 00:20:23,260
Holy shit.
436
00:20:23,335 --> 00:20:25,895
Holy shi...
[Screams]
437
00:20:28,607 --> 00:20:31,007
[Alarm Blares]
438
00:20:37,283 --> 00:20:39,774
Well, it looks like relying on old Dee...
439
00:20:39,852 --> 00:20:42,787
really paid off for you guys after all, huh?
440
00:20:42,855 --> 00:20:44,482
What are you talking about?
441
00:20:44,557 --> 00:20:48,391
My series of accidents shut the whole
factory down for, like, a couple days.
442
00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:50,325
We never asked you to shut down the factory.
443
00:20:50,396 --> 00:20:52,227
That's what's been driving up
the price of fish.
444
00:20:52,298 --> 00:20:53,890
Snapper's way up.
Snapper's through the roof.
445
00:20:53,966 --> 00:20:55,456
[Dennis]
Snapper's through the roof.
446
00:20:55,534 --> 00:20:58,298
We're out of snapper,
Dee! I told you. You can't count on her.
447
00:20:58,370 --> 00:21:00,770
We stole our Wi-Fi from that place too.
Did you know that?
448
00:21:00,839 --> 00:21:02,466
Now we got no Wi-Fi because of you.
449
00:21:02,541 --> 00:21:05,271
Actually, we're pretty dependent
on that Chinese factory.
450
00:21:05,344 --> 00:21:07,005
We need the Chinese, Dee. We need the...
451
00:21:07,079 --> 00:21:08,740
Yeah, for the cream, for the cr...
452
00:21:08,814 --> 00:21:10,076
[Dennis]
Don't... Guys, you know what?
453
00:21:10,149 --> 00:21:12,447
She seems fine,
and I'm not worried about her.
454
00:21:12,518 --> 00:21:14,952
Let's go discuss our research
a little bit further, yeah?
455
00:21:15,020 --> 00:21:17,921
Ooh, for what? For what?
For one of our next schemes?
456
00:21:17,990 --> 00:21:19,787
Yeah. Yeah. For the next scheme, Dee.
457
00:21:19,858 --> 00:21:21,655
- Uh, we'll be in touch.
- [Chuckles] Yeah.
458
00:21:21,727 --> 00:21:23,752
Oh, you guys could just do that here.
459
00:21:23,829 --> 00:21:25,729
Wait, I can call for more chairs.
460
00:21:26,632 --> 00:21:28,429
Listen, guys, uh, first of all...
461
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,593
I'm gonna suggest
that we reset our browser...
462
00:21:30,669 --> 00:21:32,466
each time we do a research session.
463
00:21:32,538 --> 00:21:34,597
That's a good idea. For privacy.
464
00:21:34,673 --> 00:21:36,766
- Right.
- Yeah, no more spying on ourselves.
465
00:21:36,842 --> 00:21:38,673
That doesn't really gather
any useful information.
466
00:21:38,744 --> 00:21:40,405
- No, it's just all porn.
- Right.
467
00:21:40,479 --> 00:21:42,538
- We should keep spying on the
Chinese though. - Oh, absolutely.
468
00:21:42,615 --> 00:21:44,708
When I was over there,
I looked at their search history...
469
00:21:44,783 --> 00:21:45,909
It's all porn too.
470
00:21:45,985 --> 00:21:47,885
- Is it?
- Ah, we're all doing it.
471
00:21:47,953 --> 00:21:51,354
I think what you're gonna find when
you're spying on the general population...
472
00:21:51,423 --> 00:21:54,984
is that everyone is just, uh,
masturbating constantly.
473
00:21:55,060 --> 00:21:57,460
- I know I am.
- [Chuckles] Yeah.
474
00:21:57,529 --> 00:22:00,327
And yet you've never heard of a cream pie.
475
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:11,500
Ripped By mstoll
Happy New Year 2016 - New Year, New Color ;-)
476
00:22:36,435 --> 00:22:39,370
[Voice Speaking Backwards]