1
00:00:02,218 --> 00:00:04,953
With teamwork comes trust.
2
00:00:04,977 --> 00:00:07,755
With trust comes success.
3
00:00:07,777 --> 00:00:10,201
These are all
principles that I--
4
00:00:10,226 --> 00:00:13,168
Well, well, well.
Lookee what we got here.
5
00:00:13,186 --> 00:00:15,171
Three young bucks.
I like it.
6
00:00:15,180 --> 00:00:17,618
More like frickin'
hung bucks.
7
00:00:18,523 --> 00:00:20,422
- 'Cause our things are huge.
- Yes.
8
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,250
- Who are you?
- I am Teddy,
9
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:25,148
and corporate has sent me
here because tomorrow,
10
00:00:25,173 --> 00:00:29,545
I will be running the TelAmeriCorp
team building competition,
11
00:00:29,568 --> 00:00:32,069
the winners of which
get a weekend
12
00:00:32,084 --> 00:00:36,780
at a beautiful timeshare in
sunny Palm Springs, California.
13
00:00:37,191 --> 00:00:38,097
Ooh.
14
00:00:38,113 --> 00:00:39,887
So, like, what's the deal
with the competition?
15
00:00:39,902 --> 00:00:42,146
Well, I don't want to give
too much away,
16
00:00:42,169 --> 00:00:45,114
but let's just say there'll be
lots of activities
17
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:50,160
that include teamwork,
cooperation, and trust...
18
00:00:50,185 --> 00:00:51,021
falls!
19
00:00:51,028 --> 00:00:52,263
Gil!
20
00:00:52,278 --> 00:00:53,271
Boom!
21
00:00:53,279 --> 00:00:54,787
Boom! Yeah.
22
00:00:54,810 --> 00:00:56,451
- Good job, Gil.
- He's really strong.
23
00:00:56,466 --> 00:00:59,966
Each team is gonna get a T-shirt.
What color would you boys like to be?
24
00:00:59,982 --> 00:01:01,462
- Red.
- We call blue.
25
00:01:01,807 --> 00:01:02,855
- Yellow.
- Red.
26
00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:03,714
- Blue.
- Yellow.
27
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:07,378
You fools are already starting
on the wrong foot, huh?
28
00:01:07,393 --> 00:01:08,636
Tez...
29
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,940
Shut up your
gigantic mouth.
30
00:01:10,948 --> 00:01:13,307
Because there's one thing about
us that you did not count on.
31
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,151
That's right.
32
00:01:14,158 --> 00:01:15,666
- Trust fall.
- Wait, what?
33
00:01:16,476 --> 00:01:19,304
Hey, what the heck, man?
My cereal.
34
00:01:19,312 --> 00:01:21,536
Looking more
like bust fall.
35
00:01:23,529 --> 00:01:26,357
Bust fall. You
should tweet that.
36
00:01:26,373 --> 00:01:27,068
Yeah.
37
00:01:27,083 --> 00:01:29,396
You boys owe me
some cereal.
38
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:41,566
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
39
00:01:41,591 --> 00:01:44,489
- I'm fine.
- Lloyd was pissed. Did you see him?
40
00:01:44,497 --> 00:01:46,142
Did you see how
big his eyes get?
41
00:01:48,193 --> 00:01:50,966
I got to tell you, I've seen some
sad stuff around this office,
42
00:01:50,973 --> 00:01:54,512
but that bust fall
was straight bust y'all.
43
00:01:54,988 --> 00:01:56,645
Hey, Tez. Still not funny.
44
00:01:56,668 --> 00:01:58,632
Well, Twitter thought
it was hilarious.
45
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,156
Nine faves and a retweet.
46
00:02:00,172 --> 00:02:01,883
- Thank you, Bill.
- Nine faves.
47
00:02:01,898 --> 00:02:03,609
- Mm-hmm.
- Wow. - That's a lot.
48
00:02:03,631 --> 00:02:06,125
Okay, I wouldn't make a big
deal about it, okay?
49
00:02:06,148 --> 00:02:08,201
We haven't even had our morning
sugar-free Red Bulls.
50
00:02:08,208 --> 00:02:10,556
We're still waking up. We're
getting the sleep out of our eyes.
51
00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:12,560
- That's true.
- We know each other so well.
52
00:02:12,567 --> 00:02:14,644
We're, like, telepathic.
Like, for instance,
53
00:02:14,669 --> 00:02:16,067
what's my favorite
movie of all time?
54
00:02:16,075 --> 00:02:17,278
- Hocus Pocus.
- Thank you.
55
00:02:17,294 --> 00:02:18,755
What is my most
viewed website?
56
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:20,838
GoddessPost at work,
PornHub at home.
57
00:02:20,854 --> 00:02:21,815
- True
- What's my favorite--
58
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:23,189
- Swimming.
- There it is.
59
00:02:23,214 --> 00:02:24,277
Wow.
60
00:02:24,292 --> 00:02:25,705
All this is just surface chatter.
61
00:02:25,730 --> 00:02:30,027
You see, Bill and I have a complex,
adult, mature relationship.
62
00:02:30,043 --> 00:02:31,642
We get real.
63
00:02:31,667 --> 00:02:33,394
Bill, what's my
biggest regret?
64
00:02:33,409 --> 00:02:37,136
Not forgiving your father for his
destructive gambling before he died.
65
00:02:37,151 --> 00:02:38,621
What's my biggest fear?
66
00:02:38,645 --> 00:02:40,130
That you'll die alone.
67
00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:42,426
Crazier things
have happened.
68
00:02:42,426 --> 00:02:44,512
What do y'all guys got?
You think you know each other?
69
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:45,910
Adam, tell me, then.
70
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,770
What's Ders' biggest fear?
71
00:02:48,661 --> 00:02:49,788
Uh...
72
00:02:50,406 --> 00:02:53,643
That his dick is smaller
than mine, obviously.
73
00:02:55,220 --> 00:02:57,237
- Ooh, I'm so scared.
- Yeah, he's scared about it.
74
00:02:57,252 --> 00:02:58,424
Yeah, I know.
I bet he is.
75
00:02:58,447 --> 00:03:00,315
I've seen his dick before;
It's weird looking.
76
00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:01,378
- Yeah.
- Very weird color.
77
00:03:01,401 --> 00:03:03,635
Yeah, color of, like,
a pomegranate tea.
78
00:03:04,478 --> 00:03:05,901
Tell me about your friend.
79
00:03:05,916 --> 00:03:07,643
What's Blake's biggest
regret?
80
00:03:07,668 --> 00:03:08,988
Oh, I know this one.
81
00:03:08,996 --> 00:03:12,277
It's--it's got to be those fish
tacos he had for breakfast.
82
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:14,019
Heartburn city, right?
83
00:03:14,026 --> 00:03:15,187
Eww, are you kidding me?
84
00:03:15,210 --> 00:03:16,965
Those were fish?
I thought they were chicken.
85
00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:18,668
Now I'm really
regretting 'em.
86
00:03:18,693 --> 00:03:20,071
I hate fish.
87
00:03:20,094 --> 00:03:22,714
I'm serious.
I'm allergic to fish.
88
00:03:22,739 --> 00:03:24,864
We put fish in 'em.
We put fish in 'em.
89
00:03:24,879 --> 00:03:27,113
- We should take him to a hospital.
- We just said, "Give us your fish."
90
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,211
Is that why my eyes itch?
Oh, my god.
91
00:03:29,227 --> 00:03:30,805
We just said, "Give us your fish."
92
00:03:30,828 --> 00:03:33,367
He went to the bathroom, we're like,
"We'll order for you; Give us your fish."
93
00:03:33,382 --> 00:03:35,031
Your new nickname is "Fish Taco."
94
00:03:36,414 --> 00:03:39,094
This is like Romper Room
in here right now.
95
00:03:39,110 --> 00:03:41,032
Y'all a bunch of children.
96
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:43,531
That P. Springs?
It's in the bag.
97
00:03:44,299 --> 00:03:45,670
Why did you think
they were chicken?
98
00:03:45,695 --> 00:03:47,820
I don't know. They
smelled like chicken.
99
00:03:47,845 --> 00:03:51,755
Okay, so say Montez is right,
which he's probably not.
100
00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:54,364
What could you guys possibly
want to know about me?
101
00:03:54,387 --> 00:03:56,388
If we're gonna win this, we
need to connect at the core.
102
00:03:56,411 --> 00:03:58,381
- Yes.
- So, like, a Tez question.
103
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:00,549
Blake, what is your
biggest secret?
104
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,410
- Go.
- Anders, my life is an open book.
105
00:04:02,417 --> 00:04:04,127
I'm not gonna read
it to you, bud.
106
00:04:04,142 --> 00:04:05,898
I'm not telling you
my biggest secret.
107
00:04:05,923 --> 00:04:07,666
Hey, you guys live here?
108
00:04:07,673 --> 00:04:10,708
No, we just sit on a stranger's
roof and drink beer.
109
00:04:11,714 --> 00:04:14,900
Is that true? It could be;
I don't know you guys.
110
00:04:14,925 --> 00:04:16,196
Yeah, we do live here, yeah.
111
00:04:16,203 --> 00:04:16,883
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
112
00:04:16,906 --> 00:04:20,289
Okay, well, I'm working valet
for the pride party down the street.
113
00:04:20,306 --> 00:04:23,512
Pride party, nice. We're
big MMA dudes, man.
114
00:04:23,528 --> 00:04:26,157
Yeah, man, I like my martial arts
like I like my women.
115
00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,284
Mixed, baby!
116
00:04:27,299 --> 00:04:29,815
Okay, well, look, we're
running out of parking.
117
00:04:29,838 --> 00:04:32,445
Can I use your driveway
for the overflow?
118
00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:33,628
Yeah, sure, sure.
119
00:04:33,651 --> 00:04:35,988
Go ahead, but, like, one question:
120
00:04:36,013 --> 00:04:39,451
How is there a party on our block,
and they didn't dem boys?
121
00:04:39,474 --> 00:04:41,638
- We dem boys.
- How are we not invited?
122
00:04:41,653 --> 00:04:44,424
- Yeah, how are we not invited?
- Yeah, how are we not invited?
123
00:04:44,447 --> 00:04:46,268
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
how are we not invited?
124
00:04:46,283 --> 00:04:48,002
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
how are we not invited?
125
00:04:48,010 --> 00:04:48,816
What? What?
126
00:04:48,832 --> 00:04:50,156
How are we not invited?
127
00:04:50,172 --> 00:04:50,995
Yeah, what? What?
128
00:04:51,010 --> 00:04:52,107
How are we not invited?
129
00:04:52,122 --> 00:04:53,075
Come on!
130
00:04:53,089 --> 00:04:54,978
Okay, I'm gonna
park the car here.
131
00:04:54,994 --> 00:04:56,374
How are we not invited?
132
00:04:56,389 --> 00:04:57,141
Oh, oh.
133
00:04:57,156 --> 00:04:58,729
How's he not invited?
134
00:04:58,736 --> 00:05:01,468
Get them muscles out.
It's a pride party.
135
00:05:01,476 --> 00:05:03,937
Who wants to get put in
a rear naked choke?
136
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:09,217
- Eh, we should get going, right?
- Rainbows, rainbows.
137
00:05:09,232 --> 00:05:11,131
Hi, welcome to the party.
138
00:05:11,155 --> 00:05:13,779
There's hors d'oeurves
and an open bar in back.
139
00:05:16,405 --> 00:05:18,931
♪ Hello ♪
140
00:05:18,956 --> 00:05:20,124
- Hello.
- Hello.
141
00:05:20,149 --> 00:05:20,998
Hello.
142
00:05:21,023 --> 00:05:21,997
Come on.
143
00:05:22,428 --> 00:05:23,123
Hello.
144
00:05:23,147 --> 00:05:24,593
- Hi.
- Hello.
145
00:05:24,608 --> 00:05:26,432
- Who are they?
- I don't--I don't know.
146
00:05:27,013 --> 00:05:28,745
Dude, are you
pretending to be gay?
147
00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:31,109
What? Yeah, man. I don't want to give
them a reason to kick us out.
148
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,148
- This party seems pretty sweet.
- That's true.
149
00:05:33,171 --> 00:05:35,546
Gay dudes are like hot chicks.
They only party with each other.
150
00:05:35,561 --> 00:05:36,609
- Exactly.
- Right?
151
00:05:36,624 --> 00:05:39,850
Hi, I don't believe we've met.
I'm Joey, and this is Scott.
152
00:05:39,865 --> 00:05:43,516
Wow, it is very surprising to me
that we haven't run into each other,
153
00:05:43,531 --> 00:05:46,790
because we are just very
involved in the scene.
154
00:05:46,815 --> 00:05:47,714
The scene?
155
00:05:47,736 --> 00:05:49,627
Yes. The...
156
00:05:50,095 --> 00:05:52,623
having sex with other
gay men scene.
157
00:05:52,648 --> 00:05:54,188
Discos.
158
00:05:55,714 --> 00:05:58,269
Yeah, we're three-way gay
with each other.
159
00:05:58,284 --> 00:06:00,862
It's just a shame we don't wear
the same sized clothes, huh?
160
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:02,682
I guess.
161
00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:04,682
So that you could wear
each other's clothes.
162
00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,128
- That is the reason.
- Right, yeah.
163
00:06:06,143 --> 00:06:08,252
Cool party.
Later, bitches.
164
00:06:09,195 --> 00:06:11,593
Why are they
pretending to be gay?
165
00:06:12,231 --> 00:06:13,114
Are they?
166
00:06:13,129 --> 00:06:15,987
Well, that little one looks like
he could be a bottom.
167
00:06:24,449 --> 00:06:25,692
Get to the point.
168
00:06:25,716 --> 00:06:27,484
- To free booze.
- Boom.
169
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:29,408
Okay, Ders' turn.
170
00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:32,452
What is something that
makes you feel stuff?
171
00:06:32,468 --> 00:06:33,164
Hmm?
172
00:06:33,189 --> 00:06:35,454
I'm still pretty uncomfortable
talking about this stuff.
173
00:06:35,469 --> 00:06:39,079
So maybe we order a few more drinks,
and then the feelings will just flop out.
174
00:06:39,414 --> 00:06:40,087
Whoo!
175
00:06:40,110 --> 00:06:41,219
♪ Calling all freaks ♪
176
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:42,648
♪ All freaks all freaks ♪
177
00:06:42,673 --> 00:06:43,996
Ah!
178
00:06:44,018 --> 00:06:46,377
Oh, you're turning me on, dude.
179
00:06:46,400 --> 00:06:48,718
Here's a secret: If
ejack tasted this good,
180
00:06:48,733 --> 00:06:50,289
I'd drink it by
the frickin' gallon.
181
00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:52,363
We're here!
182
00:06:52,386 --> 00:06:53,504
We're queer!
183
00:06:53,527 --> 00:06:55,973
We want to drink beer!
184
00:06:55,995 --> 00:06:57,856
Why isn't there beer?
185
00:06:59,254 --> 00:07:01,008
I'm gonna help myself.
186
00:07:01,033 --> 00:07:02,542
I can shake it so fast.
187
00:07:02,566 --> 00:07:04,471
- Look how fast I can shake it.
- ♪ Baby ♪
188
00:07:04,489 --> 00:07:06,065
We're queer!
189
00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:07,595
We're here!
190
00:07:08,112 --> 00:07:09,424
We're here!
191
00:07:11,409 --> 00:07:13,115
Bottle landed
right on my head.
192
00:07:13,138 --> 00:07:14,821
I dropped it right
on my head.
193
00:07:14,846 --> 00:07:17,221
I sucked this guy
dick before, I think.
194
00:07:17,244 --> 00:07:18,612
Grr, I'm gonna butt ram you.
195
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,018
Happy Pride Day!
196
00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:23,757
Dogpile!
197
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,198
Oh, no!
198
00:07:27,221 --> 00:07:28,745
What the fuck is
wrong with you?
199
00:07:28,755 --> 00:07:31,301
What, dude? It's actually
still pretty good.
200
00:07:31,324 --> 00:07:33,605
Oh, we're so
bonded right now.
201
00:07:33,622 --> 00:07:35,075
We're three-way gay!
202
00:07:41,385 --> 00:07:43,182
Blazer, shut up.
203
00:07:43,205 --> 00:07:44,418
Close the curtains, dude.
204
00:07:44,433 --> 00:07:46,797
Ow, ow, ow. Easy with
the sheets, man.
205
00:07:46,812 --> 00:07:48,870
Ah, my knees.
206
00:07:49,962 --> 00:07:51,400
Whose bedroom is this?
207
00:07:51,422 --> 00:07:53,564
Oh, my head.
208
00:07:53,587 --> 00:07:55,914
Dude, you got frosting
all over your chest.
209
00:07:55,939 --> 00:07:57,174
Mm.
210
00:07:57,589 --> 00:07:58,832
Yummy.
211
00:08:04,225 --> 00:08:05,681
It's not frosting.
212
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:07,477
- What is it?
- That's jizz.
213
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:08,619
There's jizz on my chest!
214
00:08:08,644 --> 00:08:09,651
- Jizz!
- Whoa!
215
00:08:09,658 --> 00:08:11,581
It used to be frickin' wet,
but now it's dry.
216
00:08:11,604 --> 00:08:12,979
- It's dry jizz.
- Eww.
217
00:08:12,986 --> 00:08:14,722
- Why's there jizz on me?
- Um...
218
00:08:15,494 --> 00:08:16,507
I...
219
00:08:16,532 --> 00:08:19,579
- What?
- Oh, my god. Oh, my god.
220
00:08:25,746 --> 00:08:28,871
Okay, this is bad.
This is really, really bad.
221
00:08:28,896 --> 00:08:29,611
You guys.
222
00:08:29,626 --> 00:08:32,345
Please stop yelling. You're
gonna wake up the neighbors.
223
00:08:32,368 --> 00:08:33,110
Guess what?
224
00:08:33,131 --> 00:08:35,326
We're awake, and I'm gonna
freakin' call the police,
225
00:08:35,334 --> 00:08:36,996
'cause I was ejacked
on illegally.
226
00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:38,740
- What?
- We've been sexually assaulted, okay?
227
00:08:38,747 --> 00:08:40,269
Perhaps roofied, all right?
228
00:08:40,284 --> 00:08:42,104
Call a toxologist
right now.
229
00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,126
- We were drugged and then fugged.
- Drugged and fugged.
230
00:08:45,649 --> 00:08:46,959
No, you weren't.
231
00:08:46,984 --> 00:08:48,078
You guys.
232
00:08:48,533 --> 00:08:50,705
You fucked the crap
out of each other.
233
00:08:50,728 --> 00:08:51,705
- What?
- What?
234
00:08:51,728 --> 00:08:52,846
No.
235
00:08:52,869 --> 00:08:54,737
- They don't remember.
- Really?
236
00:08:55,311 --> 00:08:57,868
We heard all this grunting
coming from in here,
237
00:08:57,890 --> 00:09:00,192
so we came down the hall,
238
00:09:00,217 --> 00:09:01,725
and...
239
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:03,633
What?
240
00:09:03,656 --> 00:09:05,875
You boys were rockin'
each other's worlds.
241
00:09:05,891 --> 00:09:07,908
You kept saying how you
wanted to get closer,
242
00:09:07,924 --> 00:09:10,436
and then you were just
inside each other.
243
00:09:10,461 --> 00:09:13,649
- What?
- It was a real three-ring bone circus.
244
00:09:15,499 --> 00:09:16,516
Yeah.
245
00:09:20,471 --> 00:09:21,127
No!
246
00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:22,323
No!
247
00:09:22,335 --> 00:09:23,594
Wild.
248
00:09:26,380 --> 00:09:27,661
Wow.
249
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,566
You guys look like you had
a little too much fun last night.
250
00:09:29,581 --> 00:09:30,691
No we don't; You do.
251
00:09:30,707 --> 00:09:32,987
You ready to get your
butts handed to you?
252
00:09:33,010 --> 00:09:34,526
No, all right?
253
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:36,686
'Cause our butts are our own;
Nobody else handles them.
254
00:09:36,702 --> 00:09:37,547
So just shut up.
255
00:09:37,562 --> 00:09:40,289
All right, TelAmericans!
256
00:09:40,305 --> 00:09:41,353
Yeah!
257
00:09:41,378 --> 00:09:42,477
Whoo!
258
00:09:42,492 --> 00:09:44,330
When I say "Tela,"
you say "mericans."
259
00:09:44,338 --> 00:09:45,588
- Tela!
- Mericans.
260
00:09:45,603 --> 00:09:47,070
Yeah! Boom!
261
00:09:47,077 --> 00:09:50,015
That's what I'm talking about. I hope
you people all brought your hard hats,
262
00:09:50,030 --> 00:09:53,228
because today, we are gonna
be building some teams.
263
00:09:53,252 --> 00:09:54,213
- Oh.
- Boom!
264
00:09:54,216 --> 00:09:55,904
- That's funny.
- I'm Teddy.
265
00:09:55,911 --> 00:09:57,784
I will be your foreman.
266
00:09:57,809 --> 00:10:00,658
- Ugh. - And that will be the end
of the building metaphors.
267
00:10:00,673 --> 00:10:02,736
All right, let's break
some ground!
268
00:10:02,759 --> 00:10:03,773
- Ugh.
- Okay.
269
00:10:03,796 --> 00:10:05,937
That was the last one.
Here we go.
270
00:10:05,952 --> 00:10:07,679
Stage dive. Whoa!
271
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,349
Palm springs!
Get some!
272
00:10:09,374 --> 00:10:10,354
- Get it!
- Okay, Jillian.
273
00:10:10,379 --> 00:10:11,597
- Get it hard!
- Chill out.
274
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,824
There is no way we're gonna win this
stupid thing with Gary on our team.
275
00:10:15,401 --> 00:10:17,256
I was a spy in Hong Kong.
276
00:10:17,281 --> 00:10:18,491
Team Yellow, where are we?
277
00:10:18,506 --> 00:10:19,842
Here we go. Boom!
278
00:10:19,857 --> 00:10:21,334
The green team,
here we go.
279
00:10:21,357 --> 00:10:22,498
Yeah, there you are.
280
00:10:22,513 --> 00:10:26,297
And since you boys couldn't
decide on one color,
281
00:10:26,305 --> 00:10:29,728
I had these made up
for you special.
282
00:10:30,441 --> 00:10:32,506
You're my rainbow
warriors!
283
00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:34,972
- Of course we are.
- Yeah, let's do this!
284
00:10:34,987 --> 00:10:35,644
Okay.
285
00:10:35,652 --> 00:10:38,606
Whichever team gets the most
eggs in their basket in a minute
286
00:10:38,621 --> 00:10:41,739
is gonna get
a 20-second head start
287
00:10:41,756 --> 00:10:43,631
for the final event,
288
00:10:43,652 --> 00:10:45,050
the obstacle race.
289
00:10:45,066 --> 00:10:46,457
All right, everybody.
290
00:10:46,464 --> 00:10:47,668
On your marks.
291
00:10:50,685 --> 00:10:52,708
- Adam, go.
- I'm going.
292
00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:54,435
- Back up.
- I'm where I'm at.
293
00:10:54,442 --> 00:10:56,692
Just like the shell
of an egg,
294
00:10:56,700 --> 00:10:58,503
a group is fragile and needs
to be handled with--
295
00:10:58,526 --> 00:10:59,800
**** damn it.
296
00:10:59,823 --> 00:11:03,042
Rainbow warriors, don't be afraid
to touch, rainbow warriors.
297
00:11:03,057 --> 00:11:05,987
That's it. Use each
other's bodies to balance.
298
00:11:06,002 --> 00:11:07,703
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
299
00:11:07,728 --> 00:11:09,111
All right, quit
looking at me.
300
00:11:09,125 --> 00:11:10,478
I'm looking at the egg.
301
00:11:10,493 --> 00:11:12,483
I'm looking up into the sky.
302
00:11:13,133 --> 00:11:15,719
- Mm. Okay? Was it that hard?
- Congratulations.
303
00:11:15,726 --> 00:11:17,039
I wasn't looking at you.
304
00:11:17,055 --> 00:11:18,641
Come here.
305
00:11:18,663 --> 00:11:20,585
- Don't touch me.
- What are you doing, man?
306
00:11:20,608 --> 00:11:22,663
You just flinched.
I'm not gonna hit you.
307
00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:23,964
Dog, back up off of me.
308
00:11:23,987 --> 00:11:25,885
You're in m space, and I don't
feel safe with that.
309
00:11:25,908 --> 00:11:27,047
- You didn't feel safe?
- No.
310
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,547
You don't feel--
you think I feel safe...
311
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:32,527
when you parked your car
in my garage last night?
312
00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:33,504
You didn't even ask.
313
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,535
You probably wanted my sport
wagon up in your garage, okay?
314
00:11:36,543 --> 00:11:39,520
- You probably begged for it.
- You guys are both sickos,
315
00:11:39,534 --> 00:11:43,761
'cause you guys frickin' smashed
your cars into my very tender,
316
00:11:43,775 --> 00:11:47,102
very tight little garage,
and then one of you hosed me down
317
00:11:47,127 --> 00:11:49,511
right on the chest
with freaking wiper fluid.
318
00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,123
Maybe it was both of you.
It seemed to be a lot.
319
00:11:51,138 --> 00:11:52,373
See, Adam I understand.
320
00:11:52,389 --> 00:11:54,811
He'll park his little Mini
in any old garage.
321
00:11:54,826 --> 00:11:57,607
I have a very, very
medium-sized sedan.
322
00:11:57,622 --> 00:12:00,685
I left my garage door open,
and you parked your car
323
00:12:00,693 --> 00:12:02,341
and left me with
a leaky tailpipe.
324
00:12:02,357 --> 00:12:04,052
Leaky tail? That's disgusting.
325
00:12:04,068 --> 00:12:06,521
What does that even mean?
Was your butthole leaking today?
326
00:12:06,537 --> 00:12:08,170
That's gross.
327
00:12:08,195 --> 00:12:10,562
Hey, what the hell
are you guys doing?
328
00:12:10,577 --> 00:12:11,718
Alice, Alice, I got this.
329
00:12:11,725 --> 00:12:13,558
Guys, you're on the same team.
Stop!
330
00:12:13,583 --> 00:12:15,013
This team's over.
331
00:12:15,036 --> 00:12:18,434
Come on, rainbow warriors.
Bring it in. Let's go talk this out.
332
00:12:18,450 --> 00:12:20,552
- Bring it in, come on.
- Yeah, stop, please.
333
00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:21,535
All right.
334
00:12:22,005 --> 00:12:23,333
What's the problem?
335
00:12:23,356 --> 00:12:25,351
You know what, Teddy...
336
00:12:25,376 --> 00:12:26,593
What?
337
00:12:27,468 --> 00:12:28,765
We have...
338
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:31,358
Some friends, right?
339
00:12:31,374 --> 00:12:33,641
And they live together,
and they work together,
340
00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:36,980
and they used to be best
friends until last night.
341
00:12:36,994 --> 00:12:39,925
What happened to these
friends of yours last night?
342
00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:41,239
Oh.
343
00:12:41,264 --> 00:12:43,241
The three friends
344
00:12:43,256 --> 00:12:45,256
hooked up with
each other hard.
345
00:12:45,279 --> 00:12:45,998
- Yeah.
- Once.
346
00:12:46,005 --> 00:12:48,224
Just one time, but a lot of
butt stuff and mouth stuff.
347
00:12:48,239 --> 00:12:51,051
Okay, well, I would
tell, uh...
348
00:12:52,148 --> 00:12:53,906
I would tell your
friends to get tested.
349
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,701
I would also tell your
friends to have an honest,
350
00:12:56,726 --> 00:13:01,207
mature, adult conversation
about what happened.
351
00:13:01,835 --> 00:13:04,427
Hey, listen, if your friends
want any more advice, just
352
00:13:04,452 --> 00:13:06,034
tell them to swing
by my office.
353
00:13:06,050 --> 00:13:07,279
Teddy...
354
00:13:07,890 --> 00:13:09,182
We're talking about us.
355
00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:16,467
I'm tweeting that.
356
00:13:16,492 --> 00:13:18,211
I am tweeting that.
357
00:13:18,227 --> 00:13:19,273
Whatever, maybe he's right.
358
00:13:19,288 --> 00:13:22,242
Maybe we should have an adult,
mature conversation about it.
359
00:13:22,257 --> 00:13:23,091
Right.
360
00:13:23,116 --> 00:13:25,001
Guys, bad news, but that--
361
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,732
that tweet is gonna be too
many characters, so, uh...
362
00:13:27,747 --> 00:13:30,442
I'm just gonna throw it into drafts
and then circle back to it later.
363
00:13:39,105 --> 00:13:40,380
As weird he is,
maybe he's right.
364
00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:42,122
Maybe we should
talk about it.
365
00:13:42,129 --> 00:13:47,399
I know we don't like to, like, freaking
talk about, like, real stuff, like secrets.
366
00:13:47,414 --> 00:13:48,696
- Yeah.
- We're dudes.
367
00:13:48,712 --> 00:13:51,608
But now we have
a huge secret.
368
00:13:51,633 --> 00:13:52,719
Yeah, yeah.
369
00:13:52,734 --> 00:13:55,703
And, I mean, this is a secret that
we'll never tell anybody else, right?
370
00:13:55,727 --> 00:13:56,938
Nope, no.
371
00:13:56,953 --> 00:13:59,039
I'm gonna freakin' take
this one to my deathbed.
372
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,422
Until we write our tell-alls.
373
00:14:00,429 --> 00:14:03,297
- Yeah, or maybe it's just a tell-some.
- All right, I'm gonna tell a secret.
374
00:14:03,315 --> 00:14:06,133
Okay, remember that night when
we were watching Shallow Hal,
375
00:14:06,158 --> 00:14:08,674
and, like, I just
wouldn't stop crying?
376
00:14:08,689 --> 00:14:10,392
- Yeah.
- Okay, it's not because
377
00:14:10,399 --> 00:14:12,665
that movie is both
hilarious and touching.
378
00:14:12,683 --> 00:14:13,628
It is.
379
00:14:14,731 --> 00:14:16,200
My uncle Howie
died that night,
380
00:14:16,215 --> 00:14:19,245
and, you know, we
were really close.
381
00:14:20,261 --> 00:14:22,340
I really miss him, still.
382
00:14:22,363 --> 00:14:25,585
I know you guys didn't know,
but just having you there,
383
00:14:26,587 --> 00:14:28,142
it really helped
me get through it.
384
00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,770
I think I might be the son
of my parents' gardener.
385
00:14:31,723 --> 00:14:35,474
I caught him and my mom together
when I was super young,
386
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:37,761
and that means that...
387
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:41,217
I'm not 100% Norwegian.
388
00:14:41,242 --> 00:14:42,828
I'm, like, half...
389
00:14:42,843 --> 00:14:45,547
- German-Irish or something.
- It's okay.
390
00:14:45,557 --> 00:14:47,573
- Irish.
- Yeah, it's all right.
391
00:14:48,377 --> 00:14:51,540
I know this is gonna be
hard to believe, but...
392
00:14:52,304 --> 00:14:54,453
I wasn't the coolest
kid in school.
393
00:14:54,918 --> 00:14:56,801
In fact, I got beat
up all the time.
394
00:14:56,824 --> 00:14:59,613
- I didn't have any friends.
- Probably 'cause of the way you run.
395
00:14:59,636 --> 00:15:00,839
No, not because of my run.
396
00:15:00,864 --> 00:15:02,012
- It's a weird run.
- No.
397
00:15:02,028 --> 00:15:05,381
And I think that's why I'm so addicted
to freaking having these gigantic muscles
398
00:15:05,397 --> 00:15:09,100
and being this freaking mountain
of beef you see before you today.
399
00:15:09,622 --> 00:15:12,056
- I've never told anyone that.
- Wow.
400
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,226
Okay, that felt pretty good.
401
00:15:14,249 --> 00:15:15,691
I felt something, yeah.
402
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:17,582
Shake it out, shake it out.
403
00:15:17,597 --> 00:15:18,697
- Gross.
- Okay, whatever.
404
00:15:18,712 --> 00:15:20,126
Last night happened.
That's in the past,
405
00:15:20,141 --> 00:15:24,239
but I just know that I need you guys
in my life for the rest of my life,
406
00:15:24,261 --> 00:15:26,152
because you're my,
like, rock, man.
407
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:27,192
Hey.
408
00:15:27,215 --> 00:15:30,222
What do you guys say we
go get Palm Sprung!
409
00:15:30,244 --> 00:15:31,186
Yeah, baby.
410
00:15:31,202 --> 00:15:32,219
- Whoo!
- Yeah.
411
00:15:32,244 --> 00:15:34,019
Okay, all right. We don't
even need to do that.
412
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,730
- All right, race you guys.
- Yeah.
413
00:15:35,752 --> 00:15:37,455
Oh, check it out, the run.
The run.
414
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:38,877
Wow.
415
00:15:38,892 --> 00:15:40,385
- I want to kick his ass.
- Race you!
416
00:15:40,408 --> 00:15:41,377
Any questions?
417
00:15:41,392 --> 00:15:44,541
All right, we are ready
to rock and jock.
418
00:15:44,566 --> 00:15:45,526
So how's this work?
419
00:15:45,540 --> 00:15:48,728
Just went throught the whole thing. I'm
not gonna do that again. It's, uh...
420
00:15:48,751 --> 00:15:49,882
It's an obstacle course.
421
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:52,165
- What do you want?
- All right, everybody line up.
422
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,204
Whoo!
It's go time.
423
00:15:54,212 --> 00:15:55,153
Hoo-ra!
424
00:15:55,178 --> 00:15:56,760
God, who gives a shit?
425
00:15:57,711 --> 00:15:59,882
You want to lay down
and quit, go ahead.
426
00:15:59,905 --> 00:16:02,510
But I'm gonna finish this thing
through to the end.
427
00:16:06,054 --> 00:16:08,867
You're gonna wish you
have never did that.
428
00:16:08,889 --> 00:16:10,444
Here we go.
429
00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:11,260
Green team.
430
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:15,431
You got this.
Go, go, go, go.
431
00:16:15,456 --> 00:16:16,682
Yellow team airhorn.
432
00:16:19,455 --> 00:16:21,033
Everybody else, airhorn!
433
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,248
Get 'em, get 'em, get' em.
434
00:16:23,951 --> 00:16:24,811
Great form, Adam.
435
00:16:24,826 --> 00:16:27,575
Thanks, man. Learned it
from watching you, dude.
436
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,693
Oh, oh. I got you, big boy.
I got you, big boy.
437
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,757
Wait, Adam, wait. My knees,
they're too tender. I can't do it.
438
00:16:32,764 --> 00:16:34,273
Here; Use me
as a human cushion.
439
00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:35,679
Okay, thank you.
440
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:38,517
Looking good, guys.
441
00:16:41,383 --> 00:16:43,259
They gaining on us. Go!
Come on, Bill.
442
00:16:44,538 --> 00:16:46,332
- They're coming.
- Yes!
443
00:16:47,050 --> 00:16:47,833
Ow.
444
00:16:47,858 --> 00:16:50,093
That's it, rainbow warriors.
That's it.
445
00:16:50,108 --> 00:16:51,233
Okay.
446
00:16:51,241 --> 00:16:53,418
God damn, Bill,
why you so fast?
447
00:16:53,434 --> 00:16:55,379
Ooh, that's high as ****.
How we gonna get that?
448
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,474
Wait.
449
00:16:56,990 --> 00:16:58,045
Ah, man!
450
00:16:58,061 --> 00:17:01,860
Why don't you try shouldering
the burden of your teammates.
451
00:17:01,885 --> 00:17:04,792
I got it, human totem pole.
Let me up on your shoulders.
452
00:17:04,807 --> 00:17:07,713
Hell to the no, you're not putting
your stanky-ass balls in my face.
453
00:17:07,729 --> 00:17:10,081
- You don't wear underwear, Bill.
- It's not good for them.
454
00:17:10,104 --> 00:17:14,488
Remember teamwork builds
trust, and trust builds success.
455
00:17:15,079 --> 00:17:16,079
Adam.
456
00:17:16,095 --> 00:17:18,603
Your balls, my
face right now.
457
00:17:19,030 --> 00:17:20,186
That'd be a dream
come true!
458
00:17:20,193 --> 00:17:21,783
- Come on.
- Yes!
459
00:17:22,430 --> 00:17:24,469
Go on. Get it.
Great, great, great.
460
00:17:24,485 --> 00:17:26,240
I got you.
461
00:17:26,265 --> 00:17:29,087
Oh! I'm all about that bass.
Ha ha!
462
00:17:29,112 --> 00:17:31,760
Okay, I'm gonna come up now.
All right, here I go.
463
00:17:31,783 --> 00:17:33,581
Get in there, rainbow warriors.
464
00:17:33,588 --> 00:17:34,625
- Here we go.
- Here we go.
465
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,676
We're using some
upper strength here.
466
00:17:37,218 --> 00:17:39,343
Okay, going up the next tier.
467
00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:40,859
Oh, god.
468
00:17:40,881 --> 00:17:42,784
Just right there, bud.
469
00:17:43,215 --> 00:17:45,785
We're just gonna--
Whoo, you're tickling me.
470
00:17:46,172 --> 00:17:47,547
I need to go higher.
471
00:17:47,555 --> 00:17:49,367
Grab my butt.
It's okay.
472
00:17:50,268 --> 00:17:51,956
Oh, god. Oh, god.
473
00:17:51,970 --> 00:17:53,830
- I got it!
- No!
474
00:17:53,853 --> 00:17:55,254
I got it. I got it.
475
00:17:56,211 --> 00:17:57,497
He--he got it.
476
00:17:57,965 --> 00:17:58,727
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
477
00:17:59,875 --> 00:18:01,161
We're going to Palm Springs.
478
00:18:01,169 --> 00:18:03,278
Suck it, Tez. Don't
really suck it, though.
479
00:18:04,312 --> 00:18:05,579
We did that.
That's 'cause of you.
480
00:18:05,602 --> 00:18:07,782
- That's 'cause of you.
- Proud to be your friend.
481
00:18:08,124 --> 00:18:09,604
I don't want this
friendship to ever end.
482
00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:10,506
It never will.
483
00:18:10,513 --> 00:18:12,155
But, you know, you guys
didn't have to go
484
00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:14,373
face to crotch, face to crotch,
face to crotch.
485
00:18:14,388 --> 00:18:16,524
You could've just
done it from behind.
486
00:18:16,549 --> 00:18:17,632
Been there.
487
00:18:17,654 --> 00:18:18,538
- Shut up.
- Shut up.
488
00:18:18,562 --> 00:18:19,303
Sorry.
489
00:18:27,403 --> 00:18:28,466
Hello.
490
00:18:28,490 --> 00:18:30,250
Oh, hello.
491
00:18:30,687 --> 00:18:33,410
Scott, the party
toads are back.
492
00:18:33,435 --> 00:18:38,055
Hey, guys, we just wanted to bring
over a little peace offering
493
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,588
for the way we acted
at the party.
494
00:18:39,613 --> 00:18:40,879
There you go.
495
00:18:40,901 --> 00:18:42,892
We made it ourselves.
You get that?
496
00:18:42,916 --> 00:18:47,506
- Of course. - So the butt sex we
had at your party the other night,
497
00:18:47,522 --> 00:18:48,499
we'd never done that before.
498
00:18:48,523 --> 00:18:51,703
We're not really three-way
gay or even gay at all.
499
00:18:51,726 --> 00:18:54,140
- Not even the short one?
- No.
500
00:18:54,165 --> 00:18:58,079
Yeah, you know, we're not
gonna ever do it again, but
501
00:18:58,104 --> 00:19:02,086
it did really bring us closer
together as friends, so...
502
00:19:02,111 --> 00:19:02,791
thanks.
503
00:19:02,807 --> 00:19:05,158
- Oh, my god, we have to tell them.
- What? No.
504
00:19:05,173 --> 00:19:06,931
- Yeah, we have to tell them.
- Tell us what?
505
00:19:06,954 --> 00:19:08,626
Nothing. Thank you
for the cake.
506
00:19:08,634 --> 00:19:11,294
- Bye.
- You didn't fuck each other.
507
00:19:11,319 --> 00:19:13,155
- We--no.
- No, we definitely did.
508
00:19:13,180 --> 00:19:15,438
We did. We did,
in a real way.
509
00:19:15,453 --> 00:19:17,375
- Changed me forever.
- Dropped into each other.
510
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:19,397
- That happened.
- No, you didn't.
511
00:19:19,799 --> 00:19:23,841
We staged the whole thing because
you were acting like drunken jerks.
512
00:19:24,881 --> 00:19:25,936
But I had a condom.
513
00:19:25,961 --> 00:19:28,273
We put that in your butt
with a toothbrush.
514
00:19:29,057 --> 00:19:32,237
But my knees were all--
And my jaw was really sore.
515
00:19:32,260 --> 00:19:33,956
I figured I had,
like, three to four.
516
00:19:33,971 --> 00:19:36,210
You choked our
bodybuilder friend Rog.
517
00:19:36,235 --> 00:19:38,962
He punched you in the face and dragged
you by the hair into that room.
518
00:19:38,985 --> 00:19:40,286
Rog? I thought
we were friends.
519
00:19:40,302 --> 00:19:43,245
So the sticky stuff on
my chest was just glue.
520
00:19:43,270 --> 00:19:45,122
- No, that was semen.
- Hmm?
521
00:19:45,129 --> 00:19:47,927
You were running around
our house, masturbating,
522
00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:50,614
"I am the gayest of them all."
523
00:19:52,310 --> 00:19:55,200
And then you finished on
yourself, and you passed out.
524
00:19:55,225 --> 00:19:57,030
Yep, you know what?
I remember that.
525
00:19:57,044 --> 00:19:57,832
I did do that.
526
00:19:57,839 --> 00:19:58,590
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
527
00:19:58,605 --> 00:20:00,580
Okay, wait, hold on.
528
00:20:00,605 --> 00:20:03,702
What you're saying is, that we--we
did not have sex with each other?
529
00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:04,512
No.
530
00:20:05,378 --> 00:20:06,582
- Okay.
- Oh, my god.
531
00:20:06,596 --> 00:20:08,061
Okay, wow.
532
00:20:08,086 --> 00:20:08,943
That's a relief.
533
00:20:08,966 --> 00:20:10,627
We're gonna head out then.
534
00:20:10,635 --> 00:20:12,924
- We're going to Palm Springs
for the weekend. - Yeah.
535
00:20:12,931 --> 00:20:14,753
Us too. We have
a house down there.
536
00:20:14,776 --> 00:20:17,162
Yeah, we're having a big
party on Saturday--
537
00:20:17,187 --> 00:20:18,923
- Oh, yeah?
- Huh. - Wow.
538
00:20:18,948 --> 00:20:20,235
Yeah.
539
00:20:21,077 --> 00:20:23,181
You definitely
shouldn't come by.
540
00:20:24,954 --> 00:20:26,409
- Joey.
- Yeah.
541
00:20:27,638 --> 00:20:29,641
Wow, they're having a party.
542
00:20:29,666 --> 00:20:31,103
- How are we not invited?
- Right?
543
00:20:31,118 --> 00:20:32,844
How are we not invited?
544
00:20:32,868 --> 00:20:34,823
How are we not invited?
545
00:20:34,848 --> 00:20:36,067
How are we not invited?
546
00:20:36,089 --> 00:20:36,862
Okay.
547
00:20:36,884 --> 00:20:38,271
How are we not invited?
548
00:20:38,293 --> 00:20:39,068
All right.
549
00:20:39,083 --> 00:20:40,435
How are we not invited?
550
00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:42,448
How are we not invited?
551
00:20:42,473 --> 00:20:44,528
How are we not invited?
552
00:20:44,553 --> 00:20:46,511
How are we not invited?
553
00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:48,443
How are we not invited?
554
00:20:48,468 --> 00:20:50,411
How are we not invited?
555
00:20:50,436 --> 00:20:51,343
How are we not--
556
00:20:51,366 --> 00:20:56,569
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
557
00:20:56,594 --> 00:20:58,203
Don't be
scrambling around.
558
00:20:58,228 --> 00:20:59,885
I'm yoke-ing.
I'm yoke-ing.
559
00:20:59,910 --> 00:21:02,223
Oh, egg-sellent.
Egg-sellent.
560
00:21:02,568 --> 00:21:03,763
Egg joke. Boom.
561
00:21:03,788 --> 00:21:05,054
Yeah, there we go.
562
00:21:05,079 --> 00:21:06,157
Oh, yeah, oh.
563
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,040
Oh, look at the sunny
side of this situation.
564
00:21:08,065 --> 00:21:08,828
You're winning.
565
00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:11,117
Yeah, egg joke.
Boom! Boom!
566
00:21:11,142 --> 00:21:12,100
Yeah.