1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,468
(SINGING) Nachos and guacamole
like chipotle
2
00:00:04,588 --> 00:00:06,886
But it is real
3
00:00:09,051 --> 00:00:10,348
Can I help you?
4
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,013
Yeah. How much you want for this junk?
5
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:14,898
How 'bout a quabillion
jillion trillion dollars?
6
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,192
This isn't a yard sale, you bitch ass.
7
00:00:17,476 --> 00:00:19,353
- Bitch ass?
- Yeah, I said bitch ass. Put it down.
8
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:20,653
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
9
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,322
- Hey, man.
- Easy, man. Hands off.
10
00:00:22,439 --> 00:00:24,112
- Put down my record, bro.
- Wey-oh.
11
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:26,535
Put down my record!
12
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,362
Hey, guys!
13
00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:32,123
Something's going down in the front yard.
Check it out!
14
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,035
There I go.
15
00:00:35,827 --> 00:00:36,874
- Hey, Karl!
- Bring the tone down.
16
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,046
- Back it off.
- Keep your hands off me.
17
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,168
What the hell are you doing?
18
00:00:39,748 --> 00:00:41,967
- Dean, we'll handle this scandal.
- All right, man. See that you do.
19
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,304
Thank you so much. You saved me.
Thank you.
20
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:48,474
Karl, bud, it's too early for this.
What's all this stuff, man?
21
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:51,059
Oh, dude, this stuff is my Mexican stuff.
22
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,102
- I've been getting hella into Mexico lately.
- Oh. Ooh.
23
00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:55,097
- Oh, yeah?
- I actually need to go back down there
24
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,558
right now to help
some coyotes do a border run.
25
00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:01,066
So if you guys don't mind, I'd...
I'd love to leave this stuff inside your house.
26
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,737
- Okay. All right.
- (CHUCKLING)
27
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,406
You got one trip.
28
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:07,822
Anything you can get in
the house in one trip can stay.
29
00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:10,654
All this other shite got to go.
30
00:01:10,946 --> 00:01:13,324
That's cool.
I already know what I'm gonna do.
31
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:16,877
(SCREAMING)
32
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,078
BLAKE: Come on. Get it, boy.
33
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:20,380
Get it, boy. Live there. You got this.
34
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,175
- Finish line's right there.
- Yeah! Whoo!
35
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:24,251
- What do you need?
- I need water.
36
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:26,336
No, no, no. No, we said no water.
37
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,093
Right there, across the plank.
You got this. You got this.
38
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,718
- (SCREAMING)
- You got this!
39
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:32,847
Ahhh! No!
40
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,603
- (SCREAMS)
- Yay!
41
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:38,061
Oh, ho, ho, ho. Blanket.
42
00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:41,109
- Blanket on the ground.
- That's my favorite blanket.
43
00:01:41,310 --> 00:01:43,859
- That's all right.
- It belongs to the outside now, bitch.
44
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,000
Ripped By mstoll
45
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,151
(SINGING) I'm fresh
46
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:52,784
You gotta, you gotta
You gotta, gotta
47
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:54,160
Gotta be fresh
48
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:59,958
- (GRUNTS)
- Whoa, is that a full body shot of Olmec?
49
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:01,289
I've never seen his lower half.
50
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,339
Is this a Legends of the Hidden Temple
tell-all?
51
00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:04,667
Dude, probably.
52
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,178
Everything cool comes from Mexico.
You know, tacos and...
53
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,555
- Where's your blanket though?
- Oh, hey, uh...
54
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,225
These right here in the bag,
they're in a bag for a reason.
55
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,849
They are muy caliente...
Burning your skin off.
56
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,264
- Don't let 'em touch you. All right?
- All right.
57
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:22,150
- Sweet.
- Awesome. This right here is very important.
58
00:02:22,225 --> 00:02:23,898
I need to ask a favor of you.
59
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,865
I have a business associate stopping by
tomorrow to pick that up.
60
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,282
Don't open it. It says it right there.
61
00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:32,073
- It does. Right on the front.
- Yeah, I read that, too, but I was like,
62
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,528
"It's like a suggestion."
63
00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:37,287
But I really want to know,
"What's in the box?
64
00:02:37,949 --> 00:02:39,747
"What's in the box?"
65
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,707
Like from that scary movie, Se7en?
With Brad Pitt?
66
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,758
I'm sorry. I haven't seen movies.
67
00:02:47,084 --> 00:02:49,553
But I know who Brad Pitt is.
I see his face on the magazine blankets
68
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:50,629
that keep me warm at night.
69
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,430
- Magazine blankets.
- Okay, but, like,
70
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,267
what is "in the box" actually, though?
71
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,385
We don't want to know
what's in the box, okay?
72
00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:59,017
Don't tell us, 'cause we're not
some shady FedEx Kinko's
73
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,689
with package pickup availability, okay?
74
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:04,894
Okay, well I have 2,000 reasons
that says otherwise.
75
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:07,604
- These are all dollars.
- Oh. Well, hell yeah.
76
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,361
- We'll do it. Come on. Give me the money.
- Oh, my gosh.
77
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,405
I'll give you one G now
and then another G upon completion, okay?
78
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:15,033
I love that you're giving us
money, but it's "T" s.
79
00:03:15,112 --> 00:03:16,739
- It's not "G" s.
- Hmm?
80
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,958
It's thousands. Not "grousands."
81
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:23,291
- Hmm?
- Oh, wow.
82
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:26,962
It's always been "G" s in my book.
Let me change that.
83
00:03:28,083 --> 00:03:29,460
BLAKE: I'm glad I'm here
to teach you something.
84
00:03:30,377 --> 00:03:32,095
You guys, I think we should open the box.
85
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:33,638
I just want to know what we're dealing with.
86
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,925
No, you can't open the box, Ders.
87
00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:37,384
It's definitely drugs, all right?
88
00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,515
As soon as you open the box,
you're a drug dealer.
89
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:40,766
You leave the box closed,
90
00:03:40,846 --> 00:03:44,225
you're just a friendly neighborhood, like,
box dealer. Like a UPS man or something.
91
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,853
I'm gonna go talk to Alice, get tomorrow off
because I feel like I've been stacking
92
00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,655
a lot of cool points as of late,
so I'm gonna go cash those in.
93
00:03:50,939 --> 00:03:52,111
- Good call.
- Cool points?
94
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,407
- Yeah.
- Okay. Well, I've never heard of it,
95
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:57,829
and it sounds really fake,
like it doesn't exist.
96
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:01,242
Mmm, very, very, very real.
It's, like, a real thing.
97
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,076
It's like when you do something cool,
you get a cool point.
98
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:05,254
Maybe you poop your pants.
Cool points depleted.
99
00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,046
Maybe you piss yourself,
or maybe you puke on your shirt...
100
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:09,838
But if, sometimes
if you puke a distance, then...
101
00:04:09,958 --> 00:04:13,007
Then perhaps you get
a cool point for projectile.
102
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:16,264
That's cool.
I'm at 68 right now and I'm about to get to 69,
103
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:19,718
which, in itself, you get extra cool points,
for being close to 69,
104
00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,269
because that's such a cool number.
105
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:25,103
You actually would get a more... Okay.
106
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:28,686
I'm gonna... I'm gonna go talk to Alice then.
Dicks.
107
00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,024
Thank you.
108
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:31,905
ALICE: A day off?
109
00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,285
All right, everyone.
In the conference room, now.
110
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,658
- Alice, I got your coffee.
- Mmm-hmm.
111
00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,531
(GAGS)
112
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:45,873
- Jillian, this is ice cold.
- Like your heart.
113
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,497
She is freaking Jeremy-Pived.
114
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,795
I wonder if, like, my cool points depleted
115
00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,797
when I got all that hot sauce
in my eyes last week
116
00:04:52,876 --> 00:04:55,254
from the burrito, and she must have seen it.
117
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,515
Is there something wrong with you people?
118
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:00,391
Because every day this week,
119
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:04,230
someone has come to me bitching
and moaning about a new problem.
120
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:10,686
Well, it ends now, because I don't give
a fuck about your problems.
121
00:05:10,977 --> 00:05:14,231
Hear that, Tez?
No more coming to my office whining,
122
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,443
"Where my leads at? I
don't got no lizz-eads."
123
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:18,735
I don't sound like that.
124
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:21,618
And, Bill? Stop coming to me for advice.
125
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:24,370
(IN WHINEY VOICE)
"Why won't girls date me?"
126
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,079
Maybe 'cause you're broke
'cause you suck at your job.
127
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:31,081
Ow. Burn notice received.
128
00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:34,088
(WHISPERING) You know, Bill,
a wig could really help with your confidence.
129
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,386
And, Gary, stop staring at Jillian.
130
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:40,598
Can't tell if this guy wants to fuck
or kill me.
131
00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:46,977
Oh, and now you three want a day off
for no reason at all.
132
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,851
- Really, that... That'd be great.
- 100% no.
133
00:05:51,268 --> 00:05:54,272
If everyone else is here,
so are you three idiots.
134
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:58,742
- And, hey. Consider this your lunch break.
- What?
135
00:05:58,984 --> 00:05:59,985
Jillian.
136
00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:04,118
- You just ate lunch.
- Gah, this job is a jizz-oke.
137
00:06:04,656 --> 00:06:05,953
Oh, yeah, I do sound like that.
138
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:08,118
What are we gonna do, man?
We still need tomorrow off.
139
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:11,705
(SIGHS) If no one comes in the office,
the heat'll be off us.
140
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:12,789
What about a ditch day?
141
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,583
That's perfect. Oh, my God.
142
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,052
Hey, wait. Hang on. Shh. Everyone shut up.
143
00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,424
- Sit down.
- Shut up and sit down.
144
00:06:18,587 --> 00:06:19,964
- Shut up and sit down.
- BOTH: Shut up.
145
00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,389
- Sit down, shut up.
- Okay, now you shut up.
146
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:22,636
Okay, here's the deal, guys.
147
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:26,103
I know tensions are running high
working here. It's tough, right?
148
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,224
I hate it. I hate it.
149
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:29,723
Instead of coming here
tomorrow and working,
150
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,559
why don't you guys come
to our place for a ditch day?
151
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:33,894
- Oh, my God. That sounds fun.
- Uh, nah, nah.
152
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:34,978
- Just like in high school.
- Nah, nah, nah.
153
00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,564
We ain't going to your nasty-ass frat house,
154
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:41,485
bath soap all covered
in pubes and dookie streaks.
155
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:44,538
Nope, there is no dookie
on the soap anymore.
156
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,076
- Not anymore.
- We switched to body wash.
157
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,491
- So we solved that problem.
- Yup.
158
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:48,621
So I'll see you guys there?
159
00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:53,251
- Also, there's gonna be alcohol, snacks, food.
- Tons of booze.
160
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:57,255
- Yeah, so...
- Okay, so ditch day is a s'go.
161
00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,004
You know what, dude? I think I figured it out,
why my cool points are dipping.
162
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,089
- What?
- I need, like, a new hip name.
163
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:06,017
Yeah, it's pretty bad.
I been meaning to tell you about it.
164
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,094
- Nails DeChamp.
- Okay, right this way.
165
00:07:08,178 --> 00:07:09,179
Wow. That's good, right?
166
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,890
The pianist, you can just get set up in there.
Okay?
167
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,146
Um, and if you don't mind,
let's keep it classy,
168
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:17,191
but also a little nasty,
just like my main man, Jamie Foxx.
169
00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,110
In fact, I got a little
bracelet for you here.
170
00:07:19,189 --> 00:07:22,443
"WWJFP." What would Jamie Foxx play?
All right?
171
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,994
Okay. I'm gonna need that back though.
Thank you.
172
00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,072
Excuse me, honey,
where do you keep your plates?
173
00:07:27,906 --> 00:07:30,409
Honey? I'm not your honey.
I'm your boss, okay?
174
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:32,790
The kitchen is that way.
Please, get in there.
175
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:36,790
Do not use the Wendy's napkins.
Use the Starbucks napkins.
176
00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,128
Yo, hey, bro, what... What's up, man? Um...
177
00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,805
So, what? Are these volunteers, or you...
You hired people?
178
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,386
Yes, Blake. I had to hire people.
179
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:47,726
Two people, okay?
I'm trying to class it up here.
180
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,520
It's only 300 bucks out of
the thousand that Karl gave us.
181
00:07:50,679 --> 00:07:51,896
I mean, you could have asked us.
182
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:55,852
- You spend money to make money.
- Exactly. Right? And I spent $700 more
183
00:07:55,934 --> 00:07:58,733
on finger foods, this rug,
thank you for not stepping on it,
184
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,906
and the Chiavari chairs, which look...
185
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,237
- They look so good.
- These look great.
186
00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:06,119
Plus we got another thousand coming
when we get rid of the drug box, right?
187
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,662
- One more T, baby.
- Right. Right.
188
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:08,829
- ANDERS: So we're fine.
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
189
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,828
- All right. Yeah.
- Oh, I got it. Uh-oh, party time.
190
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,250
- Skip over the rug.
- Look good. Look good.
191
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,168
- What up.
- Hey.
192
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:20,627
Hey. Hey. It's me, Nails DeChamp,
your party guide for ditch day.
193
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,336
Welcome to the main event.
194
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:25,172
Give me some food.
I skipped dinner last night for this.
195
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:26,848
We got plenty of food.
Let me get my waitress.
196
00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:28,345
Paula, eggs!
197
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:29,930
Where this drank at?
198
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:31,683
- (PHONES RINGING)
- Yeah, yeah, I understand that,
199
00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,638
but it makes my feet swell up like balloons.
200
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,690
Jillian, breakfast biscuit and black coffee.
201
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,185
- Jillian?
- (PHONES CONTINUE RINGING)
202
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,278
Oh, what the fuck?
203
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,620
(SINGING) We're like
fresh, fresh, fresh
204
00:08:52,157 --> 00:08:54,251
Ah, no. I'm full. Thank you.
205
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:58,877
Hey, what'd you think of the bathroom?
How about that two-ply Charmin?
206
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,298
You know what? It was all right.
207
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,213
Them booty wipes was a nice touch.
208
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:05,796
- It stings now, but it's a good sting.
- BLAKE: Fantastic.
209
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:09,725
Guys, if we could put our phones away,
that'd be great. All right?
210
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,893
Come on.
We're staring at these things all day.
211
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,311
Do we even know each other anymore?
212
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:17,558
For instance, Ghostman.
What, uh, like, what's even your real name?
213
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:20,690
- My name's Gary Golstman.
- Oh.
214
00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:24,986
Oh, that... I just always thought Alice
was calling you that because...
215
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,574
- Nothing.
- Yo, Blake.
216
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:28,443
Watch me stack mad cool points
217
00:09:28,526 --> 00:09:31,075
- with this B-boy flavor.
- Oh, all right.
218
00:09:31,362 --> 00:09:32,784
- Ayo!
- Ladies and gentlemen.
219
00:09:32,864 --> 00:09:37,290
- Who's ready to b-b-b-b-break dance!
- Me.
220
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,791
- Get 'em, Nails.
- Here, Steven.
221
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:43,250
(SINGING) Oh, daddy's a dancer
222
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:48,179
That's not break dancing. This is.
223
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,090
ALL: Oh!
224
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:51,390
(LAUGHING)
225
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,310
- Oh, is that... Ha, ha, ha!
- BLAKE: Adam.
226
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,513
I'll frickin' break-dance.
I'll frickin' break-dance!
227
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,768
- Adam.
- Oh!
228
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,770
- I’ll break-dance!
- It's a rental.
229
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,643
It's a rental. It's a rental.
230
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:05,447
- Someone needs a chill pill.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
231
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:10,702
Hey, you know what?
I told y'all this party was gonna eat my booty.
232
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:12,620
Let's get out of here.
I haven't had a sale in three weeks.
233
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:15,448
Whoa. Hang on. Everyone, sit down.
Sit down and shut up.
234
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:17,250
- You can't ditch ditch day.
- That's right.
235
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:22,748
Everybody, sit down. Okay?
Sit down, Montizzle.
236
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:25,425
Listen, I've been reading a lot
about the Mayans, okay?
237
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,504
And when they stressed out
about pesos, they didn't just,
238
00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:32,223
you know, run back to work.
They sipped the worm water.
239
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,560
You guys want me to chug that? 'Cause I will.
240
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:38,935
- Someone dare me to chug that.
- All right. Come on, everybody, shots!
241
00:10:39,139 --> 00:10:43,064
In honor of Olmec,
the Mayan god of chillaxing.
242
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,146
(CHATTING AND CHEERING)
243
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:51,611
- I will get with Waymond.
- Waymond wouldn't be with you.
244
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:57,242
Everybody here can suck my big johnson!
245
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:59,166
(CHEERING)
246
00:10:59,242 --> 00:11:01,620
- (RINGING)
- TelAmeriCorp, please hold.
247
00:11:02,453 --> 00:11:04,126
Well, then please hold a third time.
248
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,791
TelAmeriCorp.
249
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:11,095
Oh, actually Jillian does the shipping usually,
but I can do it if you tell me your...
250
00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,094
Hello? Fine.
251
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,342
(PHONES RINGING)
252
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:17,010
Oh, sh...
253
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:19,429
Argh!
254
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,227
You put a black light
in that Holiday Inn hotel room,
255
00:11:22,307 --> 00:11:25,527
it's gonna be nasty.
(LAUGHS) Never even saw the beach.
256
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:26,936
- Excuse me.
- Whoo!
257
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:30,650
If you want a piano player at your
crappy house, get one. This one's mine.
258
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:32,575
He's jamming though. You don't hear this?
259
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,118
Well, he's not taking requests, okay?
260
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,200
- Hey. Waymond, give me that box.
- Why?
261
00:11:36,279 --> 00:11:38,702
"What's in the box?" (LAUGHS)
262
00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:40,284
- Have you ever seen Se7en?
- Yeah.
263
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,494
- We've said it, like, seven times already today.
- Oh.
264
00:11:42,577 --> 00:11:46,081
Give me the box right now.
What's wrong with you, man?
265
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,041
- Waymond!
- Hey.
266
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:52,466
What are you doing? What are you...
No, no, no, no, no!
267
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,297
Yo! Guys, want to help?
268
00:11:55,590 --> 00:11:58,309
- Waymond, what is your problem?
- Oh, he's strong.
269
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,558
He's strong. He's strong. Whoa.
270
00:12:01,638 --> 00:12:03,481
BLAKE: Come on, trap him
in the closet in Adam's room.
271
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,433
ANDERS: Oh, he's tough. He's slippery.
272
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,227
Chill, man! Oh!
273
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:11,360
ADAM: Don't piss in my bed, fat...
Fatso. All right.
274
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:14,158
I don't know. Maybe "chillax" means
something different in his country.
275
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,911
Whoo! That was cool.
Waymond's freakin' strong.
276
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,034
He's like a Chevy truck or something.
277
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,578
- Very surprising.
- Too strong for you.
278
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:25,083
He almost got the box...
279
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,630
Which I put right there.
I swear to God, I putted it there.
280
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,332
Dude, we got to find that box right now.
281
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:33,837
"What's in the box?" From Se7en?
282
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:37,640
Never seen it? Good flick. Cool twist.
283
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,681
Which one of you lowlife
scumbags took my box?
284
00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:43,934
Hmm? I pay your rent.
285
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,482
I put food on your table
after you put food on my table,
286
00:12:46,557 --> 00:12:48,651
and this is the thanks that I get?
287
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,988
You're both fired,
and I want the wristband back.
288
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:54,274
I don't have the wristband.
289
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,869
Did you throw away my wristband?
290
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:03,537
- I threw it away.
- Get the hell out of here before I go crazy.
291
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,874
You mind if I stick around for a drink?
292
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,375
Yes. You're a chick.
293
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,548
Chicks never have to leave our house.
It's a house rule.
294
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:13,085
Be a good Ghost and grab mama a drink.
295
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,677
- I’ll get you a drink.
- Shh.
296
00:13:14,877 --> 00:13:17,972
I can't breathe! Thank you.
297
00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:22,556
Of course. And I'm sorry about before...
The staring.
298
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,267
It's just you look like my dead wife.
299
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:28,232
Oh, Ghostman. That... I'm so sorry.
I didn't know.
300
00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,857
RIP, lady Ghostman. Come here.
301
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:35,611
Wait a second. That's my woman!
302
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,737
Whoa, what's going on?
303
00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:40,069
(GRUNTS) on, God.
304
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,872
Get him! Get him!
305
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:46,997
Holy shit! Guys! Come on!
306
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:51,923
You're acting, well, nuts, actually.
307
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:53,921
They both want a piece of the Jilly bean.
308
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,593
What are you doing? Do you like these guys?
309
00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,130
- Oh, no. Not really.
- Then what're you doing?
310
00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,680
Why you teasing my dangle?
311
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,349
Alice craps on me a lot,
312
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,348
and I just wanted to see what it felt like
to do the crapping.
313
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:08,102
Guys, you can't be trying to
twist each other's joints off, man.
314
00:14:08,556 --> 00:14:12,106
He's right. I only went at you so hard
'cause we're both so badass.
315
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,566
Well, you see that waitress?
316
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:19,113
I'm gonna tell her that you have
a monster wang.
317
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:20,617
You wouldn't be lying.
318
00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:27,408
(SINGING) What
319
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:32,960
- Totally all good.
- No problem.
320
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,461
(LAUGHING)
321
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:37,010
Freakin', oh, you can eat crazy peppers.
322
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:40,089
Everyone loves Gil, don't they?
323
00:14:40,254 --> 00:14:42,256
I'll eat... I'll eat a
freakin' million of those.
324
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,096
Pepper. Mmm, ooh, it's so hot.
325
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,315
It's so hot. Let me drip a little bit in my eyes.
It's so hot.
326
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:53,476
- Rubby, rubby, rubby.
- I wouldn't do that.
327
00:14:53,810 --> 00:14:56,484
Ow! Shit!
328
00:14:56,771 --> 00:15:01,618
Ahhh, it's so hot! Ahhh! Oh, my God!
329
00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:04,320
(SCREAMING) It's so hot! It's so hot!
330
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:07,828
Why won't it help me?
331
00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,461
That helps a little, actually.
332
00:15:13,454 --> 00:15:15,001
Oh! He's leaving!
333
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,592
- Oh, hey.
- He's biting. Careful.
334
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,841
- How'd he get out?
- Hey, man, chillax!
335
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:24,007
(CROWD SCREAMING)
336
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:27,264
Oh, my God. Come back!
337
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,266
How did you do that? Hey!
338
00:15:31,556 --> 00:15:33,274
Adam. It's not...
339
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,601
- I got it!
- You can't.
340
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,319
- Just...
- l'm gonna go around.
341
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,771
- Yeah, good call.
- Through the gate.
342
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:39,822
- Good call. Yeah.
- Hey, boys.
343
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,149
You want this box?
344
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:46,454
Back up, or I'm gonna flood this box
like a high school girl on prom night.
345
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:47,989
BOTH: Ew.
346
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:51,117
Drop it, Tez. All right?
347
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,202
Just put the box down.
Not in the water though.
348
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:54,629
Outside of the water though, please.
349
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,581
Ooh, why you want the box so bad, huh?
350
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:59,008
- Fess up.
- You know exactly what it is.
351
00:15:59,083 --> 00:16:01,461
- It is drugs, okay?
- Yeah.
352
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,591
We're big-time drug dealers.
353
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,889
We're about to make a big-time
drug deal, so just hand it over.
354
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,637
There's someone at the door for you guys.
355
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,468
- Says it's important.
- Thank you, Didi.
356
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,643
It's the drop-off. It's a drop-off.
357
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:11,517
Okay, I'm not kidding. You give me that box.
358
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,894
No. You ain't getting nothing
with that cheap suit on.
359
00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,559
You back up too, Blake.
I could just sell this box
360
00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:19,145
myself and make all the money, huh?
How 'bout that?
361
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,571
- Tez!
- (SCREAMS)
362
00:16:27,236 --> 00:16:29,864
Oh. Ooh.
363
00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,829
- Come on. Let's go.
- Okay, let's go.
364
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,330
Why you gonna do me like that, man?
365
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:36,921
- Come on. Oh, wow.
- (STRUGGLING)
366
00:16:37,038 --> 00:16:39,587
- Help me.
- Yeah, I got you, dude. Whoa.
367
00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,463
I never seen your hair wet. It's cool.
368
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:45,676
- What's going on, man? Huh?
- It's... You know what?
369
00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,015
- Colleen making more money than me.
- Uh-huh.
370
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,842
I didn't get no sales last month.
371
00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:51,560
That's what you're worried about?
372
00:16:51,677 --> 00:16:55,272
You know what? I used to deal
those diggity-dang nugs back in high school.
373
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:59,444
If y'all cut a brother in on the box,
I bet you I can up those profits.
374
00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:02,739
Grandma drug dealer. Perfect cover.
375
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,987
- It really is.
- More like a gram-ma. Get it?
376
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:08,657
'Cause you, like...
It's a common measurement in drugs.
377
00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:09,866
- That's good.
- Thanks.
378
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:11,619
Nice one. Very good one.
379
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:12,865
(SIREN BLARES)
380
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,542
- Oh, man.
- Cops. Cops!
381
00:17:14,617 --> 00:17:16,460
Oh, my God. It's a sting. I knew it!
382
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,005
- We're going to the booty house!
- Flush it. We got to flush 'em.
383
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,878
- Flush it! Flush, flush, flush.
- Go, go, go. Go, go, go.
384
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,880
(PANTING)
385
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,381
Hey, we're busy here.
386
00:17:24,460 --> 00:17:28,840
Uh, we just need to use the toilet, so, uh...
Okay. Yup.
387
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:32,727
- Baby, don't stop.
- I'm in love!
388
00:17:32,802 --> 00:17:34,475
Yeah, we'll just work around you.
389
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,810
ANDERS: What is this?
BLAKE: What?
390
00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,061
The drugs must be inside.
391
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,142
Here. Rip 'em open. Start flushing.
392
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:41,569
- All right.
- Oh, yeah.
393
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:49,111
Whoo! Yeah, baby, that's the good burn
right there.
394
00:17:49,193 --> 00:17:50,911
Yeah. Yeah, man.
395
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:53,831
I know cocaine when I taste it on my lips.
396
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,661
(PHONES RINGING)
397
00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:58,744
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
398
00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:05,751
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
399
00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:17,559
- Oh, snaps.
- Oh, wow.
400
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,681
Oh, whoa, the cops are here.
401
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,062
We received complaints about
a heavyset Asian man
402
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,894
destroying front yards in the neighborhood.
403
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,778
They said he came from here.
404
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:29,117
So let me get this straight. He's in trouble,
and we're not in trouble for do...
405
00:18:29,191 --> 00:18:32,365
For... We're not in trouble.
406
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,788
- You just keep the noise level down.
- Mmm-hmm.
407
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:37,207
Another complaint, and you'll be cited.
408
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:44,587
Woman, I tell you that right now...
Hey, are we doing this or what?
409
00:18:44,749 --> 00:18:46,717
We actually had to flush the
drugs when the cops got here.
410
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:49,132
It was almost a huge bust,
so we just saved you.
411
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,212
Drugs?
412
00:18:50,296 --> 00:18:54,597
I bought rare Princess Diana Beanie Babies
from Karl the collector.
413
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:56,222
And I paid him up front.
414
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:00,231
Well, I mean, if you really want 'em,
I think you could pull 'em out of the toilet.
415
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:02,855
- I mean, they're just in pieces, but...
- The fabric's okay.
416
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:05,607
You tell Karl he'll be hearing from me.
417
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:08,648
- Whoa, whoa.
- (SCREAMS)
418
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:12,284
(SINGING) He's insane
419
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:20,290
Okay, we no longer need any of you here,
so ditch day is over.
420
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,587
Ditch day?
421
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,456
Everybody back to the office.
422
00:19:25,581 --> 00:19:30,633
Adam, Blake, Anders, you three
are suspended without pay until I feel like it.
423
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,754
- What? It wasn't our...
- We were trying to...
424
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:35,933
No. No. No! No! No! People were miserable.
425
00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:38,602
Adam, Blake, and Anders
were just trying to help.
426
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:41,105
You treat us like you don't even
give a damn about us.
427
00:19:41,555 --> 00:19:43,933
Why are you even here now? I'll answer.
428
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,269
For yourself. Uh-huh.
429
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:49,988
(SIGHS) I know. I...
430
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,367
It's just sales get low,
and then I get stressed out,
431
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:55,615
and all of that trickles down. I...
432
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,281
I owe you an apology.
433
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,661
Guys, I have an idea.
434
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:07,795
What if we hit the freaking phones
and got corporate off Alice's back?
435
00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:11,127
- Come on!
- Yeah. Yeah, let's do that.
436
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,211
Sure, hell yeah.
437
00:20:12,294 --> 00:20:14,342
- Come on! Yes!
- (ALL CHEERING)
438
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:17,221
Okay. All right, sure. Yeah, why not.
439
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,973
I mean... Thanks, Adam.
440
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,305
Good idea. Major cool points.
441
00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:26,642
- I accept them.
- Great.
442
00:20:26,809 --> 00:20:30,234
Ding dong. Aloha, guys.
443
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:34,067
It's me, Karl again. Whoa, hey.
Look, I got a text from Fran.
444
00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:37,199
She said the Beanie Baby
handoff didn't go as planned.
445
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:38,905
- Sorry about that.
- That's all right.
446
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,240
I'll just give her a good munchin'.
447
00:20:41,157 --> 00:20:43,660
Hey, check it out.
I got my coyotes across the bordie.
448
00:20:43,868 --> 00:20:45,666
You were talking about real coyotes?
449
00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,504
- Uh, yeah.
- That's cool.
450
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:48,581
- Cool points.
- Yeah.
451
00:20:48,998 --> 00:20:50,671
Karl, those are wolves.
452
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,508
- Wild wolves.
- Nuh-uh.
453
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:56,881
I put ropes on 'em.
454
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:03,888
- You bitch ass.
- You're the bitch ass.
455
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:06,770
- I'm not afraid of you, dude.
- Stop. Stop this.
456
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,103
- Okay, just stop, dude.
- Come on, dude. I'll run at you and do it.
457
00:21:10,186 --> 00:21:11,688
- Just stop.
- I'm not afraid of you.
458
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,819
I'm not. What?
459
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:17,026
Dude, I don't wanna... I don't wanna...
Okay, man.
460
00:21:20,500 --> 00:21:28,500
Ripped By mstoll