1
00:00:02,936 --> 00:00:05,302
LESLIE: Which
brings us to 2005.
2
00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:07,772
The Circle Park
renovation was complete,
3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,435
and a young man named
Thomas Haverford
4
00:00:10,510 --> 00:00:12,740
was still two years away
from getting hired.
5
00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:15,645
Perhaps we could skip ahead,
and just hit the highlights?
6
00:00:15,715 --> 00:00:18,149
I mean, I planned a
comprehensive retrospective,
7
00:00:18,218 --> 00:00:20,345
but I guess I can just focus on
the really important moments.
8
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:23,753
Ah! The debate about getting
a pod-based coffee machine.
9
00:00:23,823 --> 00:00:26,519
Garry and I wrote a little
musical number about that.
10
00:00:26,593 --> 00:00:29,221
And it goes a little
something like this.
11
00:00:29,295 --> 00:00:30,455
Why can't we just
quickly shake hands,
12
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:31,554
pretend we liked each other,
13
00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:33,223
and get out of here?
I'm all for that.
14
00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:34,561
LESLIE: No, April, Ron,
15
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:35,896
we need to celebrate everything
16
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,163
that we've done
together as a group.
17
00:00:37,237 --> 00:00:38,829
This is our last day here.
18
00:00:38,905 --> 00:00:41,897
Who knows when we'll all be
together like this again?
19
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:43,499
Excuse me. Hi.
20
00:00:43,576 --> 00:00:45,567
There's a swing in
a park near my house
21
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:47,340
that's been broken
for about three months.
22
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,075
Is it possible
to get that fixed?
23
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:54,018
"Anything is possible, if you
follow your dreams." Johnny Karate.
24
00:00:54,087 --> 00:00:57,853
Except getting a swing fixed. None
of us actually work here anymore.
25
00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,585
Come back in two hours
when the office is open.
26
00:00:59,793 --> 00:01:01,192
Thank you.
LESLIE: Wait.
27
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:05,929
Actually, sir, we can help.
We can, and we will.
28
00:01:06,599 --> 00:01:08,032
Because when
we used to work here,
29
00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:09,625
helping people was our job.
30
00:01:09,702 --> 00:01:12,170
Forget about these old stories.
Let's make a new one.
31
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:13,933
Let's fix the swing.
32
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,441
One last ride for the Parks
and Rec gang. Who's in?
33
00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:17,635
ALL: Yeah!
34
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:21,510
(SINGING) The vote was four to
three Donna said to get rid of me
35
00:01:21,581 --> 00:01:25,347
But Ron was suspicious Because
my coffee was delicious
36
00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:28,410
Come on, Garry. You're the mayor now.
Have some dignity.
37
00:01:35,500 --> 00:01:43,500
Ripped By mstoll
38
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:52,737
Okay. So, what is
our first step
39
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:54,302
on our quest to help this man?
40
00:01:54,647 --> 00:01:55,636
Does anyone remember?
41
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:58,273
A Parks and Recreation
equipment requisition form.
42
00:01:58,351 --> 00:02:00,148
Correct! Five points
for Hufflepuff.
43
00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:01,710
Well, everything
is paperless now.
44
00:02:01,788 --> 00:02:03,153
And none of us has a login.
45
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:04,952
So we can't access
the computers.
46
00:02:05,024 --> 00:02:06,992
DONNA: Hang on.
I have one right here.
47
00:02:07,060 --> 00:02:09,119
Thanks to Leslie's scrapbook,
48
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:11,163
"Thanks Form the Memories".
49
00:02:11,531 --> 00:02:13,556
(SIGHS) I knew those scrapbooks
were going to come in handy.
50
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:15,724
You came through
like you always do.
51
00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:18,531
God, I'm going to miss you.
52
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:20,971
Your confidence,
your joie de vivre.
53
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:23,201
That crazy story about you
getting kicked out of En Vogue.
54
00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:25,403
Technically, I kicked them out.
55
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,536
When do you leave for Seattle?
56
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:28,376
Soon as I get my local
real estate license.
57
00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:30,746
I'm married to a teacher,
and I love the man,
58
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:32,944
but I also love diamond watches.
59
00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:35,487
Well, whatever happens,
I know that you are
60
00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:38,046
going to live an
exciting and full life.
61
00:02:42,795 --> 00:02:45,059
Thirty-four hundred
square feet,
62
00:02:45,131 --> 00:02:47,361
a beautiful view of Puget Sound,
63
00:02:47,433 --> 00:02:48,832
and if you look out this window,
64
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:49,891
you can watch them build
65
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:52,563
the new Space Haystack
around the Space Needle.
66
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,403
Wow. I can hardly see
the needle anymore.
67
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:56,805
I know, that's kind of
the point.
68
00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:58,776
So, what are we thinking?
69
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:01,710
Wow.
70
00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,442
It sold in two hours?
71
00:03:03,516 --> 00:03:06,178
You cannot beat the Seattle
real estate market.
72
00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,015
I think it's all that coffee
and legal marijuana,
73
00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:10,578
has people wanting to buy houses
quickly and irrationally.
74
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:11,679
Mmm.
75
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:14,919
But the giant commission check
has me thinking about...
76
00:03:14,994 --> 00:03:17,155
Mmm-hmm?
Donna-Joe Adventure Quest.
77
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,959
Ooh! Where are we going?
78
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,590
Well, it can't beat last year.
79
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:23,261
I mean, Middle Korea
is so beautiful.
80
00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:25,702
Here's my idea. The Amazon. Oh!
81
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:27,467
Three weeks of the best and most
82
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:30,134
expensive places South
America has to offer.
83
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,336
I love it.
84
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:34,676
Honestly, with the way work is
going, I just need this right now.
85
00:03:34,747 --> 00:03:38,877
The school cut the math club.
And math.
86
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,682
They just don't teach
math anymore. Oh.
87
00:03:41,754 --> 00:03:43,881
My poor little
do-gooder teacher baby.
88
00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:46,551
Why don't we cuddle up on
the couch, watch a movie,
89
00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:49,390
and then maybe later, I'll
wear that little red thing?
90
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,794
Yes, the red thing.
Here, let me get this.
91
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:56,691
(BEEPS)
92
00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:58,392
Call Satan's Niece.
93
00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:00,998
Hey, what do you want?
94
00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:05,436
And this is me DJing a
boat party in Venezuela.
95
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:07,479
Kind of reminded me of the two
weeks you and I spent there.
96
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,614
Oh, yeah. That happened.
Yeah, it did.
97
00:04:09,682 --> 00:04:12,048
April! What are you
doing here?
98
00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:13,676
Babe, have a seat.
99
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:14,811
What's going on?
100
00:04:14,887 --> 00:04:16,855
Recently, I was thinking,
for the millionth time,
101
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,220
how lucky I am
to have found you.
102
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:22,187
So, I've decided
to treat yo' self.
103
00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:26,031
You're going to buy me a
bunch of leather handbags?
104
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,425
Donna is going to
take some of the money
105
00:04:28,501 --> 00:04:29,900
you usually use on your trips
106
00:04:29,969 --> 00:04:31,732
and establish
an education program
107
00:04:31,804 --> 00:04:33,066
through the foundation
I work for.
108
00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:34,399
DONNA: It's called
Teach Yo' Self.
109
00:04:34,474 --> 00:04:35,600
And you and the other teachers
110
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:37,472
will get money for
after-school programs.
111
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:40,770
For music, art, math,
whatever you want.
112
00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:43,611
Baby, this is really generous.
113
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:45,514
But I love our trips.
114
00:04:45,585 --> 00:04:47,883
And honestly, it's your money.
115
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,319
You should spend it
how you want.
116
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:52,483
This is what I want. I've
had a lot of adventures.
117
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:55,527
I single-handedly started that
doorknockers earring trend.
118
00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:57,654
I came in ninth in Italy's
Got Talent. Yeah.
119
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,857
I served on a NASCAR pit crew.
(LAUGHS)
120
00:04:59,932 --> 00:05:01,524
I want a new kind of adventure,
121
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:04,092
and I want to take it with you.
122
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:09,002
Okay, I feel like it's time
for me to get out of here.
123
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:10,633
(SIGHS)
124
00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:13,745
What is this mess? Why are
you all in my office?
125
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,678
We are on one last mission
to help the people of Pawnee.
126
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:20,113
Craig, can you sign the requisition form?
It will speed things up.
127
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,947
You know, Craig,
when I first met you,
128
00:05:22,021 --> 00:05:24,148
I thought, "There is a
man who loves his job."
129
00:05:24,390 --> 00:05:27,154
And then I thought,
"Oh, wow, he's intense."
130
00:05:27,226 --> 00:05:29,854
And then I thought,
"Oh, no, he's insane.
131
00:05:29,929 --> 00:05:32,295
"That person is psychotic, and
I need to call the police."
132
00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:34,595
Yeah, that's usually
the way it goes.
133
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,568
But I just think
you've come so far.
134
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,832
And I'm so glad
that we are leaving
135
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:41,999
the Parks Department
in your hands.
136
00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:47,177
(SINGING)
Funny though it's true
137
00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:50,613
Those silly things you do
138
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,618
They only bring me
139
00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:56,814
Closer to you
140
00:05:58,958 --> 00:06:00,391
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
141
00:06:03,896 --> 00:06:04,954
Nice crooning, buddy.
142
00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:07,864
The gentleman
over by the bar there
143
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,231
sent you over
this glass of wine,
144
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,770
and his business card.
145
00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:15,930
Okay. So,
as you all know...
146
00:06:17,009 --> 00:06:18,476
Okay, fine.
147
00:06:19,746 --> 00:06:21,043
We are gathered here today
148
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:25,073
to join Craig Middlebrooks
and Typhoon Montalban
149
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,243
in holy matrimony.
150
00:06:26,319 --> 00:06:27,980
I don't know about this.
I'm very scared.
151
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:29,681
Oh, just relax,
you nervous nelly.
152
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,418
You're right.
We love each other,
153
00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:34,756
and the tax break
is substantial.
154
00:06:34,827 --> 00:06:36,692
Will the best man
please present the rings?
155
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:39,026
Good luck, you two.
156
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:46,438
Typhoon, my love,
happy anniversary.
157
00:06:47,807 --> 00:06:48,933
Do you have any regrets?
158
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:52,740
Not one. Not a single one.
Do you have any regrets?
159
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:54,609
Are you kidding?
Thousands!
160
00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:56,705
Most recently, this trout!
(LAUGHS)
161
00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:01,445
Okay! April and Andy,
I need to file this.
162
00:07:01,521 --> 00:07:04,081
Would anyone like to accompany
me to the fourth floor?
163
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,284
One last journey to the
weirdest place on earth? Yes.
164
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:08,054
Shotgun! We're just
taking the elevator.
165
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:09,560
I get to push buttons.
I called it.
166
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:11,161
Okay.
He called it.
167
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:12,561
Yeah, I know. I heard.
168
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:17,431
Ethel Beavers.
We need this filed, please.
169
00:07:17,503 --> 00:07:21,496
We've gone digital. Get with
the times, you Luddite.
170
00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:23,303
Man. Of all the places
in Pawnee,
171
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:25,037
I'm going to miss
the fourth floor the most.
172
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:30,515
The disturbing murals, the ominous
lighting, the creepy people.
173
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:33,508
Hi, April. I'm going to
miss the food in Pawnee.
174
00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:36,248
Taco Bell, KFC, Pizza Hut.
175
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,415
But most of all, I'm going
to miss you, Leslie.
176
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:40,550
Oh, Andy, all of those things,
177
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,220
including me, will still
be with you in Washington.
178
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:46,054
That is a beautiful sentiment.
179
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,858
I just want to say
that we are about
180
00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:51,028
to embark on
an amazing adventure.
181
00:07:51,103 --> 00:07:53,162
And whatever happens,
182
00:07:53,239 --> 00:07:56,140
just know that Ben and I
are always there for you.
183
00:07:57,977 --> 00:07:59,410
ALL: Mmm.
184
00:08:00,446 --> 00:08:02,505
Agent Macklin, I need you.
185
00:08:02,582 --> 00:08:04,015
Some thieves are trying to steal
186
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,778
the legendary
Snakehole Sapphire.
187
00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:07,551
What the... No!
188
00:08:07,620 --> 00:08:11,078
That sapphire has the power to
activate the Cuban Missile Crisis.
189
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:14,058
Damn it, Macklin, I love
it when you take charge.
190
00:08:14,126 --> 00:08:15,753
Make love to me, you fool!
191
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,226
You animal!
(DOORBELL RINGS)
192
00:08:17,730 --> 00:08:18,719
(GROANS)
193
00:08:19,265 --> 00:08:20,630
Okay. Raincheck that,
all right?
194
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:22,659
They're here.
195
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,461
ALL: Trick or treat!
196
00:08:25,538 --> 00:08:28,405
Oh, look at them! Here you
go, you little monsters!
197
00:08:28,474 --> 00:08:29,498
(LAUGHS)
198
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,202
I love this.
You guys are the best.
199
00:08:31,777 --> 00:08:33,768
My love, we have to go.
200
00:08:33,846 --> 00:08:35,507
Just put all the candy
in a bowl or something.
201
00:08:36,616 --> 00:08:39,176
What's wrong? Did you
eat all the candy? No!
202
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,412
Did you?
Yes,
203
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:41,578
but that's not what's wrong.
204
00:08:41,654 --> 00:08:44,782
It's just... Seeing all
those kids out there...
205
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,651
Babe.
206
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,388
I want to put
a babe in you, babe.
207
00:08:50,897 --> 00:08:52,956
Andy, you know
where I stand on this.
208
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,596
Yes, I would love
all the awesome stuff
209
00:08:55,668 --> 00:08:56,760
my body would go through.
210
00:08:56,836 --> 00:08:58,701
I mean, if all it meant
was puking
211
00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:00,602
and getting weird stretch marks
212
00:09:00,673 --> 00:09:02,698
and veins everywhere,
then sign me up.
213
00:09:03,242 --> 00:09:05,972
But at the end, we've brought
a child into the world?
214
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,069
That's disgusting.
215
00:09:07,146 --> 00:09:10,047
No. They wipe all of the disgusting
stuff off of it immediately.
216
00:09:11,517 --> 00:09:12,779
We're going to be
late for dinner.
217
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:14,012
Okay.
Let's go.
218
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:16,715
APRIL: Hey!
BEN: Come on in.
219
00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:19,451
LESLIE: Hey! Always nice
to see Janet Snakehole
220
00:09:19,525 --> 00:09:21,356
and Burt Macklin in the mix.
221
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:22,485
What are you guys dressed as?
222
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,998
Oh, I'm Sandra
Dee O'Connor. Get it?
223
00:09:26,065 --> 00:09:28,625
Sandra Dee plus
Sandra Day O'Connor?
224
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:29,963
Who's Sandra Dee?
225
00:09:30,036 --> 00:09:31,060
Who's Sandra Day O'Connor?
226
00:09:31,137 --> 00:09:32,263
Forget it.
227
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:35,000
And I am the Lamplighter,
228
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,508
a character from
my new board game sequel,
229
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:40,239
Cones of Dunshire,
Winds of Tremorrah.
230
00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:45,080
Gameplay Magazine called it
"punishingly intricate."
231
00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:46,482
Hey, where are the kids at?
232
00:09:46,552 --> 00:09:48,349
I want to say hi and wrestle
all three of them at once.
233
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,889
Oh, they're trick-or-treating in
Georgetown with some friends.
234
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:54,085
It's just us grown-ups
tonight. No kids at all.
235
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:03,033
Hey, Andy, why don't you give
me a hand in the kitchen?
236
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,595
So? What do you
need a hand with?
237
00:10:06,906 --> 00:10:09,431
Oh, no, I just thought
you might want to talk.
238
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:11,933
Whoa!
239
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:14,946
Dude, that's really slick.
(LAUGHS)
240
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:17,505
Man, that's some secret
agent stuff right there.
241
00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:19,642
So, April's still on
the fence about kids, huh?
242
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:22,153
Yeah, and I'm freaking out, man.
243
00:10:22,221 --> 00:10:23,745
I want kids so bad.
244
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:25,787
You know, yesterday,
I was at the park,
245
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,223
and I saw this group
of eight-year-olds
246
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:29,693
laughing and playing
and having a good time.
247
00:10:29,762 --> 00:10:31,525
I almost started crying.
248
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:33,292
Granted, I had just face-planted
on my rollerblades.
249
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,833
That's what they
were laughing at.
250
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:35,992
Sure.
251
00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:39,167
APRIL: All right, go ahead.
What?
252
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:40,227
You're going to
lecture me about how
253
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,568
Andy and I should have kids.
254
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,007
You're going to be like, "They're so great.
They change your life.
255
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:46,203
"And yes, they drive you nuts,
but it's all worth it
256
00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:48,371
"for the beauty and
the majesty and the glory
257
00:10:48,447 --> 00:10:50,881
"of their little faces in the
morning." Blah, blah, blah and barf.
258
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:52,247
You know why it's so unfair?
259
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,785
Because you guys got so lucky.
260
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:56,083
You had sex one time
and you had three kids
261
00:10:56,155 --> 00:10:59,090
and they're all, like, smart
and great and healthy.
262
00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:00,420
And now, your lives are perfect.
263
00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:02,391
But our life is
pretty perfect already.
264
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:04,759
And you know what? Kids act the
opposite of their parents.
265
00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:06,024
That's why your
kids are so cool.
266
00:11:06,098 --> 00:11:07,326
But Andy and I are cool already,
267
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,425
so our kids will be, like,
really lame and weird.
268
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,766
I'm sorry. I just don't
know what to do.
269
00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,702
Please tell me what to do.
What do I do?
270
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,805
It's not about trying to
make your life perfect.
271
00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:19,504
Nobody's lives are perfect.
272
00:11:19,578 --> 00:11:23,844
You have kids because you
and Andy are a team,
273
00:11:23,916 --> 00:11:25,747
and you want to bring in
some new team members.
274
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:27,948
So, you think we should?
275
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:30,917
I don't know if you should have kids.
I really don't.
276
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:33,117
But I do like your team.
277
00:11:34,593 --> 00:11:37,221
All right, Ms. Ludgate.
We're getting close.
278
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,060
Babe, you look more beautiful right
now than I have ever seen you.
279
00:11:41,867 --> 00:11:42,891
Wow.
280
00:11:42,968 --> 00:11:45,596
Just your luck that you're
going into labor on Halloween.
281
00:11:45,671 --> 00:11:48,162
Can I get a warm towel
to get that makeup off?
282
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:49,935
No! I want it on.
283
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:53,035
That's the whole point. I put the
makeup on after I went into labor.
284
00:11:53,112 --> 00:11:56,548
Whatever blows your skirt up.
Okay. You ready to push?
285
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:58,808
Wait, no, babe, my birth mix.
Oh.
286
00:11:59,618 --> 00:12:01,279
WOMAN: (SINGING)
He did the mash...
287
00:12:01,921 --> 00:12:03,889
DR. SAPERSTEIN: Here comes a contraction.
Are you ready?
288
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:05,287
Okay, I'm ready.
Let's do this.
289
00:12:05,357 --> 00:12:07,325
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
290
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:10,927
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
291
00:12:11,363 --> 00:12:13,126
He did the monster mash
292
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:16,225
From the laboratory
in the castle east...
293
00:12:16,969 --> 00:12:18,300
ANDY: Burt Macklin Junior?
294
00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:20,738
APRIL: Mmm, we need
a Halloween angle.
295
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:25,436
How about Demon Spawn
Baby Satan Dwyer?
296
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:28,776
Oh, I like that.
Yeah. Or maybe,
297
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:32,181
Burt Snakehole Ludgate
298
00:12:32,251 --> 00:12:35,982
Karate Dracula Macklin Demon
Jack-o'-Lantern Dwyer.
299
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,249
We call him Jack for short.
300
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:42,155
Hey. Hi. Oh, I want to scream, but I
don't want to wake up my godchild.
301
00:12:42,228 --> 00:12:44,219
I'm assuming it's my godchild, right?
We can talk about it later.
302
00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:47,026
Congrats, guys. I know it
came unexpectedly early,
303
00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,760
but pretty cool
he was born in Pawnee.
304
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:51,564
Where do I put these? I have
so many presents, it's weird.
305
00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:52,626
Yes!
306
00:12:53,005 --> 00:12:54,165
Oh, for the baby?
307
00:12:55,474 --> 00:12:56,634
Just put them over there.
308
00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,672
What's his name?
Jack.
309
00:12:59,745 --> 00:13:00,837
(SIGHS)
310
00:13:01,180 --> 00:13:02,169
That's good.
311
00:13:03,048 --> 00:13:04,413
Welcome to the team, little guy.
312
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:12,924
Take this down to maintenance.
313
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:14,289
I know just where
to take it, Ethel.
314
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,419
And I know just the person
who should accompany me.
315
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,997
I'm a little busy right now.
Not you, Kyle.
316
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,823
How many times did
you and I deliver
317
00:13:21,901 --> 00:13:24,096
a form to maintenance,
just like this?
318
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,331
Oh, so many great conversations,
319
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:28,635
bonding and mentoring moments.
320
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:32,336
It seems only right that we make
this journey one final time.
321
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:35,479
What was that, boo-boo?
Nothing.
322
00:13:35,548 --> 00:13:37,072
Ohhh!
323
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:41,449
Tommy T and Sexy Lexy Knope.
(LAUGHS)
324
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,044
What are you two
bad Larrys up to?
325
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:44,749
Well, this is our
last day in Pawnee
326
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,883
and we have one
last problem to fix.
327
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,587
Hold up. You're leaving?
For truth?
328
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,222
I am going to miss you so much.
329
00:13:52,298 --> 00:13:53,890
What's going on?
You're not injured?
330
00:13:53,966 --> 00:13:55,490
Uh, yeah, I'm injured.
331
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:59,470
I got a terminal case of "get me to
the front of the line at Six Flags!"
332
00:13:59,538 --> 00:14:01,301
BOTH: Sha-boosh!
(BLOWS)
333
00:14:01,674 --> 00:14:03,801
It's a winter wonderland!
(LAUGHS)
334
00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:06,836
I'm going to be
so sad to see you go.
335
00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:10,411
Will you do me
one final kindness?
336
00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:14,009
Will you pretend to be my
wife for an insurance scam,
337
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:17,021
but then we fall
in love for real?
338
00:14:17,089 --> 00:14:18,716
Also, can I have a pair
of your gym socks?
339
00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,383
And don't worry.
It's not for anything weird.
340
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:21,824
It's just a fetish I have.
(LAUGHS)
341
00:14:21,894 --> 00:14:23,486
Jean-Ralphio.
Yeah.
342
00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,895
Although I truly hope that
I never see you again,
343
00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:30,026
I do wish you
a long and happy life.
344
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:35,935
RABBI KURT: Today we say goodbye
to Jean-Ralphio Saperstein.
345
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:38,633
As per his last will
and testament,
346
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,145
we will now listen
to his favorite song,
347
00:14:41,213 --> 00:14:45,240
Bend Over,
by Lil Jon featuring Tyga.
348
00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:47,444
MAN: (SINGING) Bend over make
your knees touch your elbows
349
00:14:50,022 --> 00:14:52,286
Bend over make your knees
touch your elbows
350
00:14:55,461 --> 00:14:57,691
Whoo! Okay, okay, they bought it.
They bought it.
351
00:14:57,763 --> 00:14:58,923
Do you have the insurance money?
352
00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:00,590
No doubt, no doubt.
Let's hit it, bro.
353
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:02,725
Time to start a casino in...
354
00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:06,498
Uh, Tajikistan
355
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,164
Down in the ground
356
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,208
Talking about Tajikistan!
357
00:15:10,643 --> 00:15:12,133
JEAN-RALPHIO: Shh, shh, shh.
Jean-Ralphio?
358
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:15,203
Go! Go, go, go, go! Tajikistan or die!
Tajikistan or die!
359
00:15:15,281 --> 00:15:17,749
Tajikistan or die!
Tajikistan or die!
360
00:15:18,284 --> 00:15:22,220
So... Tom and I have a swing to fix.
Let's go.
361
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:27,220
Leslie? I've always
loved you.
362
00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:29,419
I know.
363
00:15:35,734 --> 00:15:39,329
Oh, man, I forgot that maintenance
was closed on Fridays.
364
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:42,704
What would our last ride be without
one more bureaucratic snafu?
365
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,801
Don't worry, boo-boo. Tommy will
solve this problem, no sweat.
366
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:48,676
Can I just say, Tom, you
have accomplished so much,
367
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:51,545
you have come so far,
now you're so successful...
368
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,606
Don't forget well-dressed.
369
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:54,209
Yes, and well-dressed.
370
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:56,117
I am so very proud of you.
371
00:15:57,056 --> 00:15:59,320
Thanks, Leslie.
I'm proud of me, too.
372
00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:01,384
Nice crooning, buddy.
373
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,190
Uh, the gentleman
by the bar there
374
00:16:04,263 --> 00:16:06,288
sent you over
this glass of wine,
375
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,629
and his business card.
376
00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,936
Okay. So, as you all know,
377
00:16:13,005 --> 00:16:14,700
Tom's Bistro has been presented
378
00:16:14,773 --> 00:16:16,400
with a huge
expansion opportunity,
379
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:17,669
and I don't want to
make a decision until
380
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:19,472
I hear from my senior
advisory board.
381
00:16:19,545 --> 00:16:22,309
So, is this a good idea?
Accounting Nerd.
382
00:16:22,381 --> 00:16:23,871
I'm a congressman, Tom.
383
00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:25,382
Can you at least call me Ben?
384
00:16:25,451 --> 00:16:28,716
No can do, Accounting Nerd. We all
knew you before you were a big shot.
385
00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:29,913
Let's keep the whining
to a minimum.
386
00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:32,450
Well, there are always
going to be risks
387
00:16:32,524 --> 00:16:33,957
when you open new restaurants.
388
00:16:34,026 --> 00:16:35,254
But you've done your homework.
389
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,760
All the numbers line up.
390
00:16:37,463 --> 00:16:38,589
Side-note,
391
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:43,158
I would again strongly recommend
adding calzones to the menu.
392
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:45,135
Ugh. The worst. Ron?
393
00:16:45,204 --> 00:16:48,173
It's a bold capitalistic
gambit, son.
394
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,208
But nothing ventured,
nothing gained.
395
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:51,503
Regal Meagle?
396
00:16:51,577 --> 00:16:53,306
Real estate is
pretty cheap right now.
397
00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:55,074
If you're going to do it,
this is a good time.
398
00:16:55,647 --> 00:16:57,547
Okay. I'm doing it.
399
00:16:57,616 --> 00:16:58,844
Over the next five years,
400
00:16:58,917 --> 00:17:02,080
there's going to be 20 Tom's
Bistros across America.
401
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,748
Look out, world.
Tommy's about to blow up.
402
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:08,656
TOM: (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) And blow
up he did, but not in a good way.
403
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:10,658
He lost everything.
404
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:14,861
Today, Tom Haverford
is broke, destitute.
405
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:17,561
And worst of all, swaggerless.
406
00:17:17,636 --> 00:17:19,160
Tommy, you've got to
stop watching this.
407
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:20,865
I can't tear myself away.
408
00:17:20,939 --> 00:17:22,804
It's a whole documentary
about my failures.
409
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,365
That you made!
410
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:29,271
I had to. I have to remember
every tiny awful aspect of this.
411
00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:32,545
I lost everything, Lucy. The
franchises, most of my money...
412
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,415
I had to sell my
pocket square collection!
413
00:17:34,486 --> 00:17:36,317
What are people's eyes
going to be drawn to?
414
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:38,456
Look, you had a tough break.
415
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,988
The stock market tanked,
credit dried up.
416
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,290
Who could have predicted that the
country would run out of beef?
417
00:17:43,362 --> 00:17:45,023
You've just got to move on.
418
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:46,257
That's the problem, though.
419
00:17:46,331 --> 00:17:49,323
I've gone bust in the past, but it was
because I did something reckless.
420
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:52,268
This time, I was smart and
careful, and I still went broke.
421
00:17:52,337 --> 00:17:54,032
What do I do now?
422
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:55,437
Well, you and I
are going to be fine.
423
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:57,338
And you'll come up
with a new idea.
424
00:17:58,210 --> 00:17:59,336
You always do.
425
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,638
TOM: I once started
an entertainment company.
426
00:18:03,715 --> 00:18:04,773
It failed in four months.
427
00:18:05,717 --> 00:18:07,548
I opened a clothing
rental store.
428
00:18:07,986 --> 00:18:09,954
I built a restaurant empire.
429
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:11,915
They all failed.
430
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:16,151
But the story of America isn't
about second or third chances.
431
00:18:16,662 --> 00:18:21,361
It's about fourth, fifth, sixth,
twentieth, fiftieth chances.
432
00:18:22,568 --> 00:18:24,968
That's how long it took me
to get where I am today.
433
00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:30,339
Bestselling author of... Failure:
An American Success Story.
434
00:18:30,409 --> 00:18:31,740
(CROWD CHEERING)
435
00:18:38,183 --> 00:18:39,650
As you know
if you've read the book,
436
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:43,449
I've outlined seven different
types of successful people.
437
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,015
You can be an Andy.
438
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:47,948
An April.
439
00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:50,820
A Ben.
440
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:52,689
A Leslie.
441
00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:54,222
A Ron.
442
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:56,593
A Donna.
443
00:18:57,436 --> 00:18:59,870
Or my personal favorite.
A Tom.
444
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:03,240
But what do we definitely
not want to be?
445
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:04,707
ALL: A Garry!
446
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:07,108
That's right.
Do not be a Garry.
447
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:08,305
(SNICKERING)
448
00:19:08,380 --> 00:19:09,779
He's talking about me.
449
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,411
Hey.
Hey!
450
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,077
Thanks so much for coming, guys.
451
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:17,679
Are you kidding?
Tom, this is incredible.
452
00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:20,190
A bestselling book,
a 40-city tour.
453
00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:21,590
Well, I couldn't have
done it without you.
454
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,150
Well, the book is
called Failure.
455
00:19:23,228 --> 00:19:24,217
I don't know how to take that.
456
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:26,594
I'm serious. You guys
have always supported me.
457
00:19:27,099 --> 00:19:28,589
Here, I inscribed you a copy.
458
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,096
BEN: "When I think of success,
I think of you.
459
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,231
"You are a true
inspiration to me.
460
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:37,605
"I love you.
Tom Haverford."
461
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:39,906
Oh, sorry, that's actually
for Kendrick Lamar.
462
00:19:40,779 --> 00:19:41,871
Here's yours.
463
00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:44,343
"Best wishes."
464
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:47,075
And I mean every word of it.
465
00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:53,357
So, how are we going
to fix this swing?
466
00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:54,756
Hold a public forum?
467
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:57,624
Have a rally? Smash that
door and do some looting?
468
00:19:57,696 --> 00:19:59,857
Actually, I think
there's a simpler solution.
469
00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:02,298
We just need the help of the
most powerful man in Pawnee.
470
00:20:04,303 --> 00:20:06,498
Jim, how the heck are you?
471
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:08,005
Yeah, look,
I hate to bother you,
472
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:09,472
but I'm here with
my two best friends,
473
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,099
Leslie Knope and Tom Haverford.
474
00:20:11,176 --> 00:20:12,302
(LAUGHS)
Shh.
475
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,208
And we need the first-floor
maintenance room open.
476
00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:17,310
Mmm. Okay, great. And best
to Louise and the girls.
477
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:18,406
Okay, bye-bye.
478
00:20:19,351 --> 00:20:20,409
You guys are all set.
479
00:20:20,485 --> 00:20:22,578
Thank you, Mayor Gergich.
You really saved our butts.
480
00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,685
I am so happy that
you get to be mayor.
481
00:20:24,756 --> 00:20:25,814
Are you enjoying yourself?
482
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:26,949
Oh, are you kidding me?
483
00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:29,459
Leslie, I know that
this is purely ceremonial
484
00:20:29,528 --> 00:20:31,223
and it will be over in
just a couple of weeks,
485
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:33,127
but I just don't know
how my life
486
00:20:33,198 --> 00:20:34,392
could get any better than this.
487
00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:36,127
(BOTH SIGH)
488
00:20:37,102 --> 00:20:40,333
In a turn of events both
shocking and unexpected,
489
00:20:40,405 --> 00:20:42,066
interim mayor Garry Gergich
490
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:44,199
was officially elected today,
491
00:20:44,276 --> 00:20:46,403
thanks to a massive
write-in campaign.
492
00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:49,879
Mayor Gergich, what are your plans
for your first actual term?
493
00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:52,075
Oh, geez. Uh, you know what,
I have no idea, Perd.
494
00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:54,311
(LAUGHS) I mean,
this is so crazy.
495
00:20:54,386 --> 00:20:57,549
I just hope I do a good job, and I
promise I'm going to try my best.
496
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:01,589
And faithfully serve the
people of Pawnee, Indiana.
497
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:03,753
As President of City Council,
498
00:21:03,829 --> 00:21:05,763
I, Councilwoman Brandi Maxxxx,
499
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:10,234
star of more than 11,000 adult
films in the last two years,
500
00:21:10,302 --> 00:21:12,827
officially declare Garry Gergich
501
00:21:12,904 --> 00:21:15,873
Mayor of Pawnee, Indiana,
for the fourth time.
502
00:21:16,208 --> 00:21:17,766
Thank you, Pawnee!
503
00:21:18,076 --> 00:21:19,270
Okay, great.
504
00:21:19,344 --> 00:21:23,280
Garry Gergich, you are now mayor,
again, for the tenth time,
505
00:21:23,348 --> 00:21:27,307
proving conclusively that in these
corporate states of America,
506
00:21:27,386 --> 00:21:30,287
it's the entrenched powers
who hold all the cards.
507
00:21:30,722 --> 00:21:31,950
Thank you, Councilman Morris.
508
00:21:32,491 --> 00:21:34,083
Thank you, Pawnee!
(APPLAUSE)
509
00:21:34,559 --> 00:21:38,723
Happy birthday,
my sweet, sweet husband.
510
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,163
We all love you so much.
511
00:21:41,667 --> 00:21:44,033
I have had the perfect life.
512
00:21:44,736 --> 00:21:46,966
I have had the perfect marriage.
513
00:21:47,039 --> 00:21:48,063
Oh. (LAUGHS)
514
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,109
The perfect children and
the perfect grandchildren
515
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:53,736
and great-grandchildren.
(LAUGHS)
516
00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:57,375
And I just want you to know
how much I love you.
517
00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:00,752
Okay. Come on, everybody.
Say "Gergich."
518
00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:02,377
ALL: Gergich!
519
00:22:05,023 --> 00:22:08,652
MINISTER XORPAXX-7: Mayor Garry Gergich
died peacefully, in his sleep,
520
00:22:08,727 --> 00:22:13,130
on his 100th birthday, holding the
hand of his beloved wife, Gayle.
521
00:22:14,633 --> 00:22:16,897
Mmm. Gayle looks amazing.
522
00:22:18,070 --> 00:22:19,128
Yeah, yeah, I know.
523
00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:24,474
He will now be given the Indiana
Notary Society's highest honor,
524
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:26,101
the 21-Stamp Salute.
525
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,087
(SIGHS) Rest in peace, friend.
526
00:22:37,489 --> 00:22:40,549
They spelled his name wrong
on the tombstone.
527
00:22:42,127 --> 00:22:43,185
(SIGHS)
528
00:22:43,261 --> 00:22:44,660
Close enough.
Hmm.
529
00:22:46,298 --> 00:22:47,526
It's time to go.
530
00:22:51,236 --> 00:22:53,534
Okay. How's this
for a headline?
531
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:56,836
"Still Swinging: Parks Gang
Reunites for One Last Bang."
532
00:22:56,908 --> 00:22:58,170
That's a little dirty.
533
00:22:58,243 --> 00:23:00,234
Well, it's a headline,
Shauna. Sex sells.
534
00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:04,209
Knope. Make yourself useful and
hand me that crescent wrench.
535
00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:05,978
Well...
536
00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,281
Not bad craftsmanship, Ron.
537
00:23:08,353 --> 00:23:10,651
It is perfect craftsmanship.
538
00:23:12,124 --> 00:23:15,093
I calculate the cost
of my labor at $38.
539
00:23:16,161 --> 00:23:17,389
I can send the bill to you?
540
00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:20,995
So, you think you're going
to stick around Pawnee?
541
00:23:21,066 --> 00:23:25,093
Oh, I imagine so. Not sure
where I would go, really.
542
00:23:25,504 --> 00:23:28,371
Well, we're going to
come back here a lot.
543
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,668
You know what they say.
544
00:23:31,743 --> 00:23:33,040
Don't be a stranger.
545
00:23:35,213 --> 00:23:37,511
Despite the recent
financial crisis,
546
00:23:37,582 --> 00:23:39,311
Very Good Building
Company will finish
547
00:23:39,418 --> 00:23:43,149
fiscal year 2022 in
excellent financial shape,
548
00:23:43,789 --> 00:23:46,417
thanks in large part to the stewardship
of your chairman, Ron Swanson.
549
00:23:47,192 --> 00:23:49,683
Mr. Chairman, would you
like to say a few words?
550
00:23:53,832 --> 00:23:57,097
I resign as chairman.
Effective immediately.
551
00:23:57,402 --> 00:23:59,870
Uh, would you like
to explain why?
552
00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:01,597
No.
553
00:24:01,673 --> 00:24:04,073
Should we discuss
your retirement package?
554
00:24:04,242 --> 00:24:06,369
Just give me whatever
the Board thinks is fair.
555
00:24:06,645 --> 00:24:07,942
Agreed.
556
00:24:08,413 --> 00:24:09,505
Best of luck.
557
00:24:09,581 --> 00:24:11,981
Don't get emotional, Vaughn.
You're embarrassing yourself.
558
00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:15,912
What just happened?
559
00:24:20,625 --> 00:24:22,820
LESLIE: Ron,
your family is beautiful.
560
00:24:22,894 --> 00:24:24,293
They are a handsome bunch.
561
00:24:24,663 --> 00:24:26,426
Diane and I are
especially proud,
562
00:24:26,531 --> 00:24:29,659
because Ivy was just accepted
at Stanford University.
563
00:24:29,734 --> 00:24:31,793
Wow. Yeah? It's going to
cost an arm and a leg.
564
00:24:31,870 --> 00:24:32,894
Did you take my advice?
565
00:24:33,004 --> 00:24:34,528
I did. Thank you again.
566
00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:39,167
I sold some of my gold, and
officially diversified my portfolio.
567
00:24:39,711 --> 00:24:43,408
Congratulations. You now own 51%
of the Lagavulin Distillery.
568
00:24:43,482 --> 00:24:45,347
Pleasure doing business with you.
And with you.
569
00:24:45,817 --> 00:24:47,307
Sláinte.
ALL: Sláinte.
570
00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:52,021
So, Ron, what brings you here?
571
00:24:54,059 --> 00:24:57,085
I am at something of
a personal crossroads.
572
00:24:57,162 --> 00:24:59,494
Yes! I love
personal crossroads.
573
00:24:59,798 --> 00:25:03,495
I once made the mistake of not
talking to you at such a moment,
574
00:25:03,568 --> 00:25:05,900
and I do not intend
to repeat that error.
575
00:25:06,738 --> 00:25:10,435
Well, let's take a walk. There's
a cute little park nearby.
576
00:25:11,977 --> 00:25:16,676
I suppose I had simply accomplished
everything I wanted to,
577
00:25:16,748 --> 00:25:19,239
and there seemed to be
little point in continuing.
578
00:25:19,718 --> 00:25:21,515
So, what do you want to do now?
579
00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:25,081
Well, that's the problem.
I am not sure.
580
00:25:26,091 --> 00:25:30,425
My kids are growing up. My days
in an office feel like a waste.
581
00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:34,932
I would like to turn my
attention to something
582
00:25:35,967 --> 00:25:37,958
that would make me feel useful.
583
00:25:39,070 --> 00:25:42,301
But for the life of me,
I cannot figure out what.
584
00:25:43,742 --> 00:25:46,302
And there are not many people...
585
00:25:47,379 --> 00:25:51,042
I mean, we were workplace proximity
acquaintances for many years.
586
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:53,745
And so, I thought...
I thought, maybe...
587
00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:56,418
Say no more, you big softie.
588
00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:58,456
I'm going to spend
every waking moment
589
00:25:58,523 --> 00:26:00,150
trying to figure
this out for you.
590
00:26:01,726 --> 00:26:04,058
You want to stay for dinner?
We're having steak. Mmm.
591
00:26:04,129 --> 00:26:05,756
But we're also hosting
several members
592
00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:07,593
of the House Subcommittee
on Foreign Affairs.
593
00:26:08,066 --> 00:26:10,626
I'll take that steak to go,
please and thank you.
594
00:26:16,341 --> 00:26:19,833
Hey, there you are.
Thanks for meeting me here.
595
00:26:19,911 --> 00:26:22,402
Well, if you'd held them here
instead of that conference room,
596
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:23,970
I would have come
to more meetings.
597
00:26:24,182 --> 00:26:25,877
I've got to tell you, Leslie.
598
00:26:25,951 --> 00:26:28,545
Establishing this national
park right next to Pawnee
599
00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:30,053
is quite an accomplishment.
600
00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:33,484
This is a fine piece
of land you saved.
601
00:26:33,758 --> 00:26:36,318
Thank you, Ron.
You want to run it?
602
00:26:37,929 --> 00:26:40,397
The superintendent of
Bryce Canyon retired,
603
00:26:40,465 --> 00:26:43,400
and I convinced the superintendent
of this park to transfer,
604
00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:44,628
shuffled a few things around...
605
00:26:44,703 --> 00:26:46,762
The point is, someone needs to
take care of this place now.
606
00:26:46,838 --> 00:26:48,169
Thought it should be you.
607
00:26:48,707 --> 00:26:49,799
I...
608
00:26:51,276 --> 00:26:54,268
Well, first of all, I would be working
for the federal government...
609
00:26:54,346 --> 00:26:56,814
Your job would be to walk
around the land alone.
610
00:26:56,881 --> 00:26:58,849
You'd live in the same town
you've always lived in.
611
00:26:58,917 --> 00:27:01,215
You'd work outside, you'd talk to bears.
Next argument.
612
00:27:01,286 --> 00:27:04,084
Well, there must be dozens of
people gunning for this job.
613
00:27:04,155 --> 00:27:06,350
I wouldn't want you
to ruffle any feathers.
614
00:27:06,424 --> 00:27:07,686
Am I even qualified?
615
00:27:07,759 --> 00:27:10,387
Well, a few people might be annoyed.
But they'll get over it.
616
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:14,796
And as far as your qualifications,
you're Ron Swanson.
617
00:27:14,866 --> 00:27:16,458
Stop being a dummy and accept.
618
00:27:18,103 --> 00:27:19,161
When do I start?
619
00:27:19,371 --> 00:27:20,463
Oh, today.
620
00:27:20,538 --> 00:27:23,336
I already accepted for you. I still
remember how to forge your signature.
621
00:27:23,808 --> 00:27:25,799
Let's go meet your staff.
622
00:27:27,646 --> 00:27:29,807
Pawnee National Park Rangers,
623
00:27:29,881 --> 00:27:33,749
this is Ron Swanson, your new
superintendent and boss.
624
00:27:34,819 --> 00:27:38,653
Rangers. My name is
Ronald Ulysses Swanson.
625
00:27:39,724 --> 00:27:42,249
Your job, and mine,
626
00:27:42,327 --> 00:27:45,057
is to walk this land and
make sure no one harms it.
627
00:27:45,897 --> 00:27:48,889
If you show up on time,
speak honestly,
628
00:27:48,967 --> 00:27:50,298
and treat everyone
with fairness,
629
00:27:50,368 --> 00:27:51,995
we will get along just fine.
630
00:27:53,171 --> 00:27:54,604
Though hopefully not too fine,
631
00:27:54,673 --> 00:27:57,107
as I am not looking
for any new friends.
632
00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:58,369
End of speech.
633
00:27:58,977 --> 00:28:00,308
Well said.
634
00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:04,876
Thank you, Leslie.
635
00:28:06,351 --> 00:28:07,648
You're welcome, Ron.
636
00:28:12,724 --> 00:28:15,852
Okay.
Time to go to work.
637
00:28:18,897 --> 00:28:21,297
MAN: (SINGING)
Laugh with me, buddy
638
00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:23,994
Jest with me, buddy
639
00:28:24,936 --> 00:28:29,134
Don't let her get
the best of me, buddy
640
00:28:29,841 --> 00:28:35,302
Don't ever let me
start feeling lonely
641
00:28:41,786 --> 00:28:44,118
Well, I have to make
a couple more adjustments.
642
00:28:48,259 --> 00:28:49,851
Babe, I don't want
to seem dramatic,
643
00:28:49,928 --> 00:28:51,759
but I have just
reconsidered every decision
644
00:28:51,830 --> 00:28:53,263
that we have made
over the last year
645
00:28:53,331 --> 00:28:55,390
and I think we need to stay
in Pawnee forever.
646
00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:56,661
I know.
(SIGHS)
647
00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:59,203
But we have to pick up the kids
and we have a flight to catch.
648
00:28:59,270 --> 00:29:00,760
But when is this group of people
649
00:29:00,839 --> 00:29:02,830
ever going to be
all together again?
650
00:29:02,907 --> 00:29:04,534
That's all I want.
651
00:29:04,609 --> 00:29:07,169
All of these people in the
same place at the same time.
652
00:29:07,245 --> 00:29:08,906
It will happen. Someday.
653
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:10,872
What's going to happen
between now and then?
654
00:29:10,949 --> 00:29:12,075
A lot.
655
00:29:13,017 --> 00:29:14,712
And it's all going to be great.
656
00:29:14,786 --> 00:29:16,515
You promise?
I promise.
657
00:29:21,826 --> 00:29:22,918
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
658
00:29:23,661 --> 00:29:25,424
This is a nice house.
659
00:29:25,497 --> 00:29:27,431
You say that every time
we're here.
660
00:29:27,499 --> 00:29:28,761
I'm just trying to distract you,
661
00:29:28,833 --> 00:29:30,630
so you don't have
a nervous breakdown.
662
00:29:30,769 --> 00:29:32,532
I think I am past that point.
663
00:29:32,604 --> 00:29:33,935
You don't have to worry
about me anymore.
664
00:29:34,005 --> 00:29:35,734
Hey, folks. Welcome back.
665
00:29:35,807 --> 00:29:38,037
Great to have so many good
friends and colleagues.
666
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:40,669
We're looking forward to a great
conversation and a good dinner.
667
00:29:40,745 --> 00:29:43,043
As usual, there is
only one rule.
668
00:29:43,114 --> 00:29:44,445
No shop talk.
669
00:29:44,516 --> 00:29:46,245
So, if you want
to discuss politics,
670
00:29:46,317 --> 00:29:48,217
you're going to have
to wait until after dinner.
671
00:29:48,286 --> 00:29:49,753
I'm looking at you, Leslie.
672
00:29:49,821 --> 00:29:52,915
Okay. Well, as long as we
get to play charades later.
673
00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:54,850
Okay.
674
00:29:54,926 --> 00:29:58,225
Last time we played charades, she
spent three and a half hours here.
675
00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:00,457
You're just mad because you lost.
Oh, come on.
676
00:30:04,869 --> 00:30:06,894
Damn, that food was good.
677
00:30:06,971 --> 00:30:08,734
I've said it before
and I'll say it again.
678
00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:11,275
Joe Biden knows his way
around a seafood risotto.
679
00:30:11,776 --> 00:30:13,004
You've said that before?
680
00:30:13,077 --> 00:30:14,476
Anyway, the point is, yes,
681
00:30:14,546 --> 00:30:17,014
I do like working
at Interior. I love it.
682
00:30:17,081 --> 00:30:19,777
But I'm always looking for new challenges.
Why do you ask?
683
00:30:20,585 --> 00:30:24,077
There's a rumor the Governor of
Indiana isn't going to run again.
684
00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:27,215
And my friends at the
DNC are very interested
685
00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:28,850
in you as a candidate.
686
00:30:28,927 --> 00:30:30,895
For governor of Indiana?
Mmm-hmm.
687
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,557
Someone's been reading my
kindergarten dream journal.
688
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:34,654
So, what do you think?
689
00:30:34,732 --> 00:30:36,359
I'll call you next week
and we can talk about it?
690
00:30:36,734 --> 00:30:40,568
Oh. Okay. Great.
Well, this is exciting.
691
00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:42,230
I'm going to take this energy
692
00:30:42,307 --> 00:30:44,241
and I'm going to go crush
Joe Biden in charades.
693
00:30:44,943 --> 00:30:46,843
Dr. Jill?
Let's pick teams.
694
00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:48,638
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
695
00:30:49,247 --> 00:30:50,441
Oh.
696
00:30:50,648 --> 00:30:52,809
Move. Need the congressman.
This is time-sensitive.
697
00:30:53,284 --> 00:30:55,218
Hey, Jen, I didn't
know you were here.
698
00:30:55,453 --> 00:30:57,785
I'm everywhere. You want
to be governor of Indiana?
699
00:30:59,090 --> 00:31:00,921
What? Colquitt is not
going to run again.
700
00:31:00,992 --> 00:31:02,823
It's a rumor for now, but
my gut says it's for real.
701
00:31:02,894 --> 00:31:04,589
You're the perfect candidate.
702
00:31:04,662 --> 00:31:06,687
Local hero,
state government experience.
703
00:31:06,764 --> 00:31:08,322
Blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah.
704
00:31:08,399 --> 00:31:10,026
I mean, the only
potential problem is that
705
00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:12,262
devastatingly nerdy
Cones of Dunshire thing.
706
00:31:12,337 --> 00:31:14,066
Uh, that's a problem?
Mmm.
707
00:31:14,138 --> 00:31:16,936
I'm sorry, but it's
the ninth-highest selling
708
00:31:17,008 --> 00:31:19,568
multi-player figurine-based
strategy fantasy
709
00:31:19,644 --> 00:31:21,475
sequel game in history.
710
00:31:22,881 --> 00:31:25,441
Please don't bail on me because
of what just happened.
711
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:30,453
BOTH: So... I had a pretty
interesting conversation
712
00:31:30,521 --> 00:31:31,988
with Janet from the DNC tonight.
713
00:31:32,056 --> 00:31:33,080
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
714
00:31:33,157 --> 00:31:36,593
She said that Governor Colquitt
might be stepping down,
715
00:31:36,661 --> 00:31:39,994
and the DNC thinks that
I should run for governor.
716
00:31:40,098 --> 00:31:41,087
Oh, God.
717
00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:43,896
That kind of sucks.
718
00:31:44,669 --> 00:31:45,931
Really? Why?
719
00:31:46,004 --> 00:31:48,700
No, I mean, that's amazing.
720
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:53,504
It's just, Jen Barkley kind of
approached me about running.
721
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,478
Oh! Oh.
722
00:31:57,048 --> 00:31:59,346
Well, I mean, obviously...
723
00:32:02,053 --> 00:32:04,248
Right. Yeah. No, no.
I mean, obviously.
724
00:32:04,322 --> 00:32:06,017
Yeah. I mean,
obviously, we...
725
00:32:09,527 --> 00:32:11,961
Okay. Pros of you
running for governor.
726
00:32:12,030 --> 00:32:13,691
You would be a great governor.
727
00:32:13,765 --> 00:32:15,426
We could make Pawnee
our home base.
728
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,329
The kids could go
to school in Pawnee.
729
00:32:17,402 --> 00:32:19,370
And it would be a huge
career move for you.
730
00:32:19,437 --> 00:32:22,634
The pros of me running for
governor are the same thing.
731
00:32:22,707 --> 00:32:24,038
It's the same list.
Right.
732
00:32:24,108 --> 00:32:27,509
The only con of you running would
be that I don't get to run.
733
00:32:27,578 --> 00:32:29,136
And vice versa.
734
00:32:30,515 --> 00:32:32,073
Good. So, we've solved it.
735
00:32:32,150 --> 00:32:33,174
(SIGHS)
736
00:32:33,251 --> 00:32:35,776
Look. We're going back
to Pawnee in a week.
737
00:32:36,287 --> 00:32:38,551
Why don't we just talk about
it after that? Good idea.
738
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:40,955
Hey, maybe we can drop by
the old stomping grounds.
739
00:32:41,025 --> 00:32:43,050
See how the Parks
Department has changed.
740
00:32:43,127 --> 00:32:45,118
I love it. Okay.
Are you ready?
741
00:32:45,930 --> 00:32:48,125
No, but we don't
have a choice, do we?
742
00:32:48,199 --> 00:32:49,257
(SIGHS)
743
00:32:49,334 --> 00:32:50,596
Kids! Dinner!
744
00:32:51,202 --> 00:32:53,466
Hey, I'm going to eat in my
room because I have to study.
745
00:32:53,538 --> 00:32:54,971
STEPHEN: Can we go to Bobby's
house to watch the game?
746
00:32:55,039 --> 00:32:56,131
LESLIE: Have you finished
your homework?
747
00:32:56,774 --> 00:32:57,934
Okay, don't forget...
748
00:32:58,443 --> 00:33:00,001
Bye, Dad. Bye, Mom.
SONIA: Bye.
749
00:33:00,078 --> 00:33:01,909
Don't forget your ice skates.
You have a lesson tomorrow.
750
00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:03,106
Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
751
00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:04,470
Bye.
752
00:33:07,218 --> 00:33:08,310
Want some broccoli?
753
00:33:08,386 --> 00:33:09,410
Ugh! No.
754
00:33:11,356 --> 00:33:12,914
LESLIE: You know,
now that I'm here,
755
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,687
it's giving me an idea
about this governor thing.
756
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,523
Maybe we need fresh eyes.
757
00:33:17,595 --> 00:33:19,222
You know, other people
to weigh in.
758
00:33:19,297 --> 00:33:24,257
We should talk to Ron. Or Tom. Or April.
Or Donna. Or Andy, even.
759
00:33:24,335 --> 00:33:25,495
Sometimes, he can be wise.
760
00:33:25,570 --> 00:33:27,299
Yeah, good idea.
Let's call them.
761
00:33:28,106 --> 00:33:29,664
Or you know what
else we could do?
762
00:33:29,741 --> 00:33:31,265
Just talk to them in person.
763
00:33:31,342 --> 00:33:32,775
(ALL CHEERING)
764
00:33:34,712 --> 00:33:36,236
Surprise!
765
00:33:36,314 --> 00:33:37,941
(LAUGHING)
Oh, wow.
766
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:41,848
It's what you wanted, right? Everyone
in the same room, at the same time.
767
00:33:41,919 --> 00:33:43,386
I can't believe you.
768
00:33:44,422 --> 00:33:46,856
We're all here together
in the same room.
769
00:33:47,892 --> 00:33:49,223
In this room.
770
00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:53,657
I don't think I could
be happier right now.
771
00:33:53,731 --> 00:33:55,323
Want to bet?
Hi.
772
00:33:55,833 --> 00:33:58,927
Oh, Ann's here.
Ann. Ann's here.
773
00:33:59,337 --> 00:34:00,326
(ANN LAUGHING)
774
00:34:00,438 --> 00:34:02,565
Hey. Hey, buddy.
How are you doing?
775
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:04,505
Good.
You guys, Ann's here.
776
00:34:05,109 --> 00:34:06,201
Should we move away from here?
777
00:34:06,277 --> 00:34:08,177
Yeah. Yeah, this could
go on for some time.
778
00:34:08,246 --> 00:34:09,611
Aw.
779
00:34:13,718 --> 00:34:15,151
Your hair looks amazing,
by the way.
780
00:34:15,219 --> 00:34:16,584
You look like
a cartoon princess.
781
00:34:16,921 --> 00:34:18,855
Oh, thank you. It's from the
pills I was telling you about.
782
00:34:18,923 --> 00:34:21,517
I took some of those, but I don't
know, they didn't do anything
783
00:34:21,592 --> 00:34:22,718
and they kind of
upset my stomach.
784
00:34:22,794 --> 00:34:24,318
No, you're supposed
to crack them
785
00:34:24,395 --> 00:34:25,885
and leave them on
your hair overnight.
786
00:34:25,963 --> 00:34:27,692
Not eat them.
Oh, no.
787
00:34:28,099 --> 00:34:30,090
Well, it's confusing,
because they're delicious.
788
00:34:30,768 --> 00:34:32,998
Because my first
book was such a smash,
789
00:34:33,071 --> 00:34:35,005
I had to come up with a new
angle for the follow-up.
790
00:34:35,173 --> 00:34:38,108
Then, it hit me, Failure
2.0: Failing to Fail.
791
00:34:38,176 --> 00:34:39,905
Love it.
How's everything?
792
00:34:39,977 --> 00:34:42,036
You properly treating yo'
self out there in Seattle?
793
00:34:42,213 --> 00:34:43,339
In a manner of speaking.
794
00:34:43,414 --> 00:34:45,348
Joe and I spend most of our
time on the foundation.
795
00:34:45,450 --> 00:34:46,474
(SIGHS)
796
00:34:46,551 --> 00:34:47,984
I can't believe
you went non-profit.
797
00:34:48,252 --> 00:34:50,413
I mean, I love you, you're
one of my best friends,
798
00:34:50,488 --> 00:34:52,786
but you have betrayed me
and everything we stand for.
799
00:34:52,857 --> 00:34:53,983
You've changed.
800
00:34:54,058 --> 00:34:56,049
Maybe you're right. By the
way, what time is it?
801
00:34:56,794 --> 00:34:59,388
Oh, it looks like
it's half past spla-dow!
802
00:34:59,464 --> 00:35:00,658
BOTH: What?
803
00:35:00,731 --> 00:35:03,029
I take it all back.
That's a lot of diamonds.
804
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:04,261
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
805
00:35:05,236 --> 00:35:07,363
Hey, Oliver.
Hey, Leslie.
806
00:35:07,905 --> 00:35:09,429
Hello, Ann.
Hi, April.
807
00:35:09,607 --> 00:35:12,838
Your kids are, like,
surprisingly awesome. Thank you.
808
00:35:12,910 --> 00:35:16,004
Did you use an egg donor, or give
Chris a hall pass for a night?
809
00:35:16,514 --> 00:35:19,039
Once again, they are
my biological children.
810
00:35:19,117 --> 00:35:20,982
Once again, I don't believe you.
811
00:35:21,619 --> 00:35:25,111
Ann, you rainbow-infused
space unicorn.
812
00:35:25,223 --> 00:35:28,556
Ann, you beautiful, sassy
mannequin come to life.
813
00:35:28,626 --> 00:35:31,186
Ann, you opalescent tree shark.
814
00:35:31,262 --> 00:35:34,322
Leslie, you are the master
of the metaphor. Oh.
815
00:35:34,398 --> 00:35:36,958
I recently compared her
to a nutrient-rich chia seed.
816
00:35:37,702 --> 00:35:39,260
What's that thing on your wrist?
Oh!
817
00:35:41,539 --> 00:35:42,528
(BEEPS)
818
00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:44,532
AUTOMATED VOICE:
You are extremely healthy.
819
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,441
I do that literally
50 times a day.
820
00:35:47,912 --> 00:35:50,312
Aren't you afraid that thing
might give you cancer?
821
00:35:51,215 --> 00:35:52,648
Well, I am now.
822
00:35:52,717 --> 00:35:57,120
Well, there he is. Chip Traeger.
You old son of a gun.
823
00:35:57,221 --> 00:35:59,086
(LAUGHS) Andy, it's Chris.
824
00:35:59,490 --> 00:36:00,548
Is it?
825
00:36:01,359 --> 00:36:02,621
(LAUGHS) Huh.
826
00:36:03,227 --> 00:36:05,457
Hello, Jack. Ron Swanson.
827
00:36:06,430 --> 00:36:09,365
Strong handshake. Well done, you two.
Thank you.
828
00:36:09,433 --> 00:36:11,094
So, are you going
to have another one?
829
00:36:11,502 --> 00:36:13,060
Um...
830
00:36:13,371 --> 00:36:14,360
(GASPS)
831
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:16,435
Shh.
Shh.
832
00:36:18,176 --> 00:36:19,973
'Cause...
'Cause he's sleeping?
833
00:36:21,179 --> 00:36:22,271
How can you tell?
834
00:36:22,713 --> 00:36:24,146
Oh, it's a common
misconception that
835
00:36:24,248 --> 00:36:25,772
the Oculus holds
all of the power.
836
00:36:25,850 --> 00:36:27,112
It's actually the Lamplighter.
837
00:36:27,218 --> 00:36:29,846
Ann. Oh, my God. It's happening!
It's totally happening.
838
00:36:29,921 --> 00:36:31,149
Our kids are falling in love.
839
00:36:31,923 --> 00:36:33,254
This is good.
Okay, remember.
840
00:36:33,324 --> 00:36:34,313
If this is ever going to work,
841
00:36:34,392 --> 00:36:35,654
we have to pretend
to disapprove.
842
00:36:35,726 --> 00:36:36,715
Yeah. Right.
Good call.
843
00:36:37,828 --> 00:36:38,954
Hey!
844
00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,156
Leslie, no.
Oh.
845
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:42,158
Who cares?
846
00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:45,494
Ann Arbor, Michigan,
is literally
847
00:36:45,570 --> 00:36:47,765
the greatest city that
I have ever lived in.
848
00:36:47,838 --> 00:36:50,238
But Pawnee is better.
So, we're moving back.
849
00:36:50,308 --> 00:36:51,536
That's great.
Yeah.
850
00:36:51,609 --> 00:36:53,509
I'm going to run
admissions at Indiana.
851
00:36:53,578 --> 00:36:55,603
I'm trading Wolverines
for Hoosiers.
852
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:58,012
Well, you're getting
the better end of that deal.
853
00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:01,374
Tom. I took the quiz
in your book
854
00:37:01,452 --> 00:37:03,249
about what kind of person I am.
855
00:37:03,321 --> 00:37:05,152
I'm a Ron.
Ha!
856
00:37:05,223 --> 00:37:07,987
I'm usually a Tom, but
sometimes, I'm a Donna.
857
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:09,822
Last time I took it,
I was a Tom.
858
00:37:10,261 --> 00:37:11,421
What?
859
00:37:11,495 --> 00:37:15,795
No. No, no, no!
Take it again.
860
00:37:15,866 --> 00:37:17,356
I've got to go
recalibrate the quiz.
861
00:37:25,643 --> 00:37:27,338
BEN: So, did anyone
have any insights on
862
00:37:27,411 --> 00:37:29,038
our "running for
governor" situation?
863
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,209
I've been so busy catching
up with everyone,
864
00:37:31,282 --> 00:37:32,442
I haven't had
a chance to ask them.
865
00:37:32,516 --> 00:37:34,040
Yeah, me neither.
Okay, here's what I think.
866
00:37:34,151 --> 00:37:37,086
I hate when we're on opposite sides.
It stinks.
867
00:37:37,455 --> 00:37:39,821
Plus, if one of us runs, it
doesn't mean we're going to win.
868
00:37:39,890 --> 00:37:43,291
Right. And it's not like this is the
only career option for either of us.
869
00:37:43,628 --> 00:37:45,755
So, all that matters
is that we are good.
870
00:37:45,830 --> 00:37:48,025
Right. Which is why
I have an idea.
871
00:37:48,699 --> 00:37:50,098
I think we should flip a coin.
872
00:37:50,868 --> 00:37:52,802
I mean it.
Let's literally flip a coin.
873
00:37:52,903 --> 00:37:55,736
Because whoever runs
is going to do a great job.
874
00:37:55,806 --> 00:37:59,936
And whoever doesn't run is going to
be right alongside the other one,
875
00:38:00,044 --> 00:38:02,638
offering advice and support
and whatever they need.
876
00:38:02,713 --> 00:38:05,443
So, it doesn't matter.
So let's flip a coin.
877
00:38:05,516 --> 00:38:07,609
Okay. You, Leslie Knope,
878
00:38:07,685 --> 00:38:11,644
the queen of planning and
binders and pro and con lists.
879
00:38:12,256 --> 00:38:14,588
You want to leave
this to chance?
880
00:38:15,192 --> 00:38:18,161
Yes. Because
whatever's next,
881
00:38:18,229 --> 00:38:20,026
you and I are in it together.
882
00:38:20,931 --> 00:38:22,296
So, let's go tell everybody.
883
00:38:22,366 --> 00:38:24,266
And they can participate
and they can sign the coin
884
00:38:24,335 --> 00:38:25,734
and then, you know,
the coin will eventually
885
00:38:25,803 --> 00:38:27,930
make its way into
the Smithsonian.
886
00:38:30,374 --> 00:38:32,274
Okay, everybody, gather around!
887
00:38:32,343 --> 00:38:33,640
First of all,
I just have to say that
888
00:38:33,711 --> 00:38:36,703
all of you in the same room at the
same time with your children here,
889
00:38:36,781 --> 00:38:38,248
it's like... It's
the greatest thing
890
00:38:38,316 --> 00:38:39,749
that's ever happened in
the history of America.
891
00:38:39,817 --> 00:38:42,479
And secondly, Ben and I
have an announcement.
892
00:38:42,553 --> 00:38:44,817
Leslie is running for
governor of Indiana.
893
00:38:45,056 --> 00:38:46,148
ALL: What?
894
00:38:46,223 --> 00:38:47,383
(ALL GASPING)
895
00:38:47,725 --> 00:38:49,488
Bully for you, Knope.
896
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:50,618
That's amazing.
897
00:38:50,695 --> 00:38:52,356
Yeah, she got approached
by the DNC
898
00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:54,489
and they think she has
a great shot to win.
899
00:38:54,565 --> 00:38:57,363
Indiana native,
supremely qualified,
900
00:38:57,435 --> 00:39:00,063
and she wrote that
she wanted to be governor
901
00:39:00,137 --> 00:39:02,071
in her kindergarten
dream journal.
902
00:39:03,174 --> 00:39:04,368
This makes sense.
903
00:39:09,146 --> 00:39:11,444
So, I'm running for governor.
(ALL CHEERING)
904
00:39:12,149 --> 00:39:13,776
Ben is going to be
running my campaign,
905
00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:15,079
because he's a super genius
906
00:39:15,186 --> 00:39:18,212
and he's got a tight,
compact little body
907
00:39:18,289 --> 00:39:20,280
like an Italian sports car.
908
00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:23,023
But right now,
I'd like to make a toast.
909
00:39:23,561 --> 00:39:26,121
When we worked here, together,
910
00:39:26,964 --> 00:39:29,626
we fought, scratched,
911
00:39:29,700 --> 00:39:33,158
and clawed to make people's
lives a tiny bit better.
912
00:39:34,004 --> 00:39:35,801
That's what public service
is all about.
913
00:39:35,873 --> 00:39:38,603
Small, incremental change,
every day.
914
00:39:39,143 --> 00:39:42,169
Teddy Roosevelt once said,
"Far and away,
915
00:39:42,246 --> 00:39:44,476
"the best prize that
life has to offer
916
00:39:44,548 --> 00:39:48,040
"is a chance to work hard
at work worth doing. "
917
00:39:48,119 --> 00:39:52,488
And I would add that what
makes work worth doing
918
00:39:52,556 --> 00:39:54,581
is getting to do it
with people that you love.
919
00:39:55,559 --> 00:39:57,891
I started my career
more than 30 years ago,
920
00:39:57,995 --> 00:39:59,622
in the Parks and
Recreation Department
921
00:39:59,697 --> 00:40:01,358
right here in Pawnee, Indiana.
922
00:40:02,032 --> 00:40:04,193
I've had a lot
of different jobs,
923
00:40:04,268 --> 00:40:06,702
including two terms
as your governor.
924
00:40:06,771 --> 00:40:10,935
And soon, a new, unknown
challenge awaits me.
925
00:40:11,008 --> 00:40:15,035
Which, to me,
even now, is thrilling,
926
00:40:15,112 --> 00:40:16,443
because I love the work.
927
00:40:16,514 --> 00:40:20,575
Not to say that public service isn't sexy.
Because it definitely is.
928
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:23,311
But that's not why we do it.
929
00:40:24,688 --> 00:40:26,451
We do it because
we get the chance
930
00:40:26,524 --> 00:40:28,754
to work hard at
work worth doing,
931
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,554
alongside a team of
people who we love.
932
00:40:33,764 --> 00:40:37,495
So, I thank those people
who have walked with me,
933
00:40:38,769 --> 00:40:40,396
and I thank you for this honor.
934
00:40:41,705 --> 00:40:43,730
Now, go find your team,
and get to work.
935
00:40:44,842 --> 00:40:45,831
(ALL CHEERING)
936
00:40:50,614 --> 00:40:52,639
In addition to Governor
Knope's honorary doctorate
937
00:40:52,716 --> 00:40:54,684
from the School
of Public Policy,
938
00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:58,552
in recognition of all she has
done for the people of Indiana,
939
00:40:58,622 --> 00:41:02,149
the campus library will
henceforth bear her name.
940
00:41:02,226 --> 00:41:03,352
(APPLAUSE)
941
00:41:05,596 --> 00:41:07,587
A (BLEEP) library?
942
00:41:11,502 --> 00:41:14,096
Yeah, that should do it.
The swing is fixed!
943
00:41:14,171 --> 00:41:15,331
(ALL CHEERING)
944
00:41:16,607 --> 00:41:18,472
Well, there you have it, sir.
945
00:41:18,976 --> 00:41:22,878
Another problem solved by the hard
work of dedicated public servants.
946
00:41:24,114 --> 00:41:25,911
Okay, great.
947
00:41:25,983 --> 00:41:27,075
Bye.
948
00:41:27,618 --> 00:41:28,812
Yeah, that's about right.
949
00:41:29,687 --> 00:41:31,018
Okay. Well.
950
00:41:31,989 --> 00:41:32,978
(EXHALES)
951
00:41:34,458 --> 00:41:36,358
Hang on. Gayle made
me promise to get
952
00:41:36,427 --> 00:41:38,292
a quick picture,
just for old times' sake.
953
00:41:38,362 --> 00:41:40,330
Good idea!
Garry had a good idea.
954
00:41:41,232 --> 00:41:42,256
Ugh.
955
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:44,699
The lighting is all wrong. I'm
going to send you a glamor shot.
956
00:41:44,768 --> 00:41:45,894
Just photoshop me in later.
957
00:41:45,970 --> 00:41:48,530
I'm not going to show up in that
picture anyway, because I'm a vampire.
958
00:41:48,639 --> 00:41:51,938
Hey, babe, for this picture, should
I be Burt Macklin, Johnny Karate,
959
00:41:52,009 --> 00:41:56,139
or my new character,
Sergeant Thunderfist, M. D?
960
00:41:56,213 --> 00:41:58,613
Where did you get that?
Found it in the sandbox.
961
00:41:58,682 --> 00:41:59,842
Ew.
962
00:41:59,917 --> 00:42:02,147
Go Macklin.
Macklin's the hottest.
963
00:42:02,219 --> 00:42:05,518
Get on with it. I can't hold this
smile forever. I look ridiculous.
964
00:42:05,589 --> 00:42:07,181
Okay, hang on. Okay.
965
00:42:07,658 --> 00:42:08,647
(BEEPING)
966
00:42:10,594 --> 00:42:11,925
You ready, babe?
967
00:42:13,430 --> 00:42:14,419
Yes.
968
00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,028
I'm ready.
969
00:42:24,942 --> 00:42:25,931
(LAUGHING)
970
00:42:51,569 --> 00:42:55,027
DIRECTOR: That is a series
wrap on Parks and Recreation.
971
00:42:58,500 --> 00:43:06,500
Ripped By mstoll