1
00:00:00,884 --> 00:00:04,565
No, I just wanna make sure
we're both totally clear about this.
2
00:00:04,937 --> 00:00:10,116
Yes, Lana, you've made it totally,
very nearly insultingly, clear.
3
00:00:10,236 --> 00:00:12,734
Because this is only my parents
meeting their grandchild.
4
00:00:12,792 --> 00:00:13,724
And oh, by the way...
5
00:00:13,844 --> 00:00:14,623
this is her father.
6
00:00:14,743 --> 00:00:16,044
Yeah, it's--
It's not "meet my boyfriend,"
7
00:00:16,113 --> 00:00:17,731
it's not, "meet
my future husband."
8
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,452
Nobody's guessing
who's coming to dinner.
9
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:23,354
Totally clear...ly
insulting.
10
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,323
So, just to be clear,
11
00:00:25,392 --> 00:00:27,091
we're clear?
Oh, my God.
12
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,061
Oh, my God!
Hey! Shut up!
13
00:00:30,130 --> 00:00:33,007
Sir, is there a problem here?
Yes! Where the hell have you been?
14
00:00:33,127 --> 00:00:35,349
Here. And if you want to
save yourself some trips,
15
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:38,803
let's uh, make it a pitcher.
Uh, we don't even have pitchers.
16
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,371
Well, then, I don't know
what to tell you.
17
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,107
Maybe rinse
out a little trash can.
18
00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:45,777
Also, my parents
aren't big drinkers?
19
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,512
Yeah, they're
like huge nerds, right?
20
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,681
Uh, no.
They're academics!
21
00:00:49,801 --> 00:00:51,347
"Tomato, Tomato."
22
00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:55,453
My mom, Claudette, is a professor
of public policy at U.C. Berkeley,
23
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:57,956
with a focus on feminist issues.
Yikes.
24
00:00:58,024 --> 00:01:00,492
Glad I didn't waste suitcase
space on that barrel of monkeys.
25
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,229
Shut up. And my father,
Lemuel, is a microbiologist--
26
00:01:03,281 --> 00:01:05,122
who might be up for the Nobel Prize.
Holy shit.
27
00:01:05,183 --> 00:01:07,372
Yeah, right?
Right!
28
00:01:07,492 --> 00:01:08,717
What happened to you?
29
00:01:08,786 --> 00:01:11,454
Oh, and one more,
like, "tiny thing."
30
00:01:14,092 --> 00:01:16,592
Swear to God. Last one till dinner.
31
00:01:16,661 --> 00:01:19,095
Not that.
Although what the shit?
32
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,297
I'm actually kinda nervous.
Ugh.
33
00:01:21,365 --> 00:01:24,400
Me too, actually,
34
00:01:24,469 --> 00:01:27,436
because my parents think
I'm still working on my PhD...
35
00:01:27,505 --> 00:01:29,105
at Columbia.
36
00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:31,006
In environmental science.
What?
37
00:01:31,075 --> 00:01:33,209
They don't know you're a spy?
38
00:01:33,277 --> 00:01:36,078
No! And if you tell them I am,
I will literally murder you--
39
00:01:36,147 --> 00:01:39,381
wait-- in front of
our very own infant child.
40
00:01:41,085 --> 00:01:43,352
So, serious up,
41
00:01:43,421 --> 00:01:44,720
because they're not crazy about
this whole arrangement, so--
42
00:01:44,789 --> 00:01:47,189
Serious up.
43
00:01:47,258 --> 00:01:49,138
Lana, once I meet them,
I'm sure they'll find me
44
00:01:49,160 --> 00:01:51,927
...utterly charming.
45
00:01:52,414 --> 00:01:54,314
You have met them.
46
00:01:54,383 --> 00:01:55,649
Yes, he's getting
his master's, too,
47
00:01:55,717 --> 00:01:59,319
and he's nice--
and I said that already,
48
00:01:59,388 --> 00:02:01,454
and... I'm sure he's just...
caught in traffic.
49
00:02:01,523 --> 00:02:03,924
Hmm. He could have
walked here by now.
50
00:02:03,992 --> 00:02:06,526
If it's gonna be
that kind of party,
51
00:02:06,595 --> 00:02:09,829
etcetera, etcetera--
mashed potatoes!
52
00:02:09,898 --> 00:02:11,387
Oh, whoo!
53
00:02:28,831 --> 00:02:31,226
Oh, did they find me utterly charming?
54
00:02:31,346 --> 00:02:33,019
Hey!
Hi!
55
00:02:33,088 --> 00:02:34,254
Oh.
Look who's here!
56
00:02:34,323 --> 00:02:37,190
Let me have my grandbaby!
57
00:02:37,259 --> 00:02:39,392
Uh-- and, um,
you remember Archer?
58
00:02:39,461 --> 00:02:41,962
Yes, of course.
We've got the mashed potatoes
59
00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:43,526
just the way
you like 'em--
60
00:02:43,966 --> 00:02:46,374
98.6.
61
00:03:11,601 --> 00:03:22,057
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
62
00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:31,650
Oh, Lana. You have made
a beautiful baby.
63
00:03:31,770 --> 00:03:33,241
Well, we sort of both--
64
00:03:33,310 --> 00:03:35,055
...would agree
with that statement.
65
00:03:35,175 --> 00:03:37,608
Lana can speak for herself.
Yup.
66
00:03:37,857 --> 00:03:41,695
So? Any news?
Um... I had a baby?
67
00:03:41,815 --> 00:03:43,791
Oh, honey, I'm talking
about your studies.
68
00:03:43,911 --> 00:03:47,255
Yes, Lana. When on Earth are you
planning to finish your dissertation?
69
00:03:47,324 --> 00:03:49,524
Yeah, Lana.
Don't do that...
70
00:03:49,592 --> 00:03:52,393
Nope.
because you're taking your time as well.
71
00:03:52,462 --> 00:03:55,063
What is it you're studying?
Umm...
72
00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:57,711
Medieval Slavic History.
73
00:03:57,831 --> 00:03:59,889
Really? Well, that
must be fascinating!
74
00:04:00,009 --> 00:04:02,036
Well, everybody thinks
that, but--
75
00:04:02,105 --> 00:04:05,267
So, tell me: what are your thoughts
on the Battle of Kosovo of 1389?
76
00:04:07,877 --> 00:04:10,745
No opinion.
Well, not even as it applies to the rise
77
00:04:10,814 --> 00:04:14,905
of modern Serbian nationalism?
Mm... nope.
78
00:04:15,025 --> 00:04:17,659
Also, that's a bit reductionist.
79
00:04:17,728 --> 00:04:19,928
But enough about you.
Am I right?
80
00:04:19,997 --> 00:04:22,698
Daddy, tell us about
your research.
81
00:04:22,766 --> 00:04:24,600
Well, algae is
always challenging!
82
00:04:24,668 --> 00:04:26,401
Yeah.
Just ask a flip-flop.
83
00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:27,903
Don't do that.
Nope.
84
00:04:27,972 --> 00:04:30,873
His research is going
extremely well.
85
00:04:30,941 --> 00:04:32,908
And, in the near future,
you may be spending
86
00:04:32,977 --> 00:04:36,111
a lot less time and money
at gas stations.
87
00:04:36,180 --> 00:04:38,247
You're buying us motorcycles?
88
00:04:38,315 --> 00:04:40,749
No! Daddy's been working on--
Lana.
89
00:04:40,818 --> 00:04:42,985
Mom, it's fine.
Archer is, um--
90
00:04:43,053 --> 00:04:45,654
Lana, it's okay,
you can say "family."
91
00:04:45,723 --> 00:04:48,965
I-- Well, I thought I could, but
I honestly don't know if I can.
92
00:04:49,085 --> 00:04:50,926
Wow!
93
00:04:50,995 --> 00:04:53,962
Great, now
you've made the baby cry.
94
00:04:54,031 --> 00:04:55,163
That was you!
Lana, here, take the child.
95
00:04:55,232 --> 00:04:57,032
I'm not sure which end
needs attention,
96
00:04:57,101 --> 00:04:59,034
but while you check on that,
97
00:04:59,103 --> 00:05:01,003
your father and I
will check on dinner.
98
00:05:01,071 --> 00:05:03,901
And I will check on...
that hot tub.
99
00:05:04,021 --> 00:05:05,874
Seriously?
100
00:05:05,910 --> 00:05:08,126
Are you frickin' serious?
101
00:05:08,212 --> 00:05:13,081
Um... yes.
102
00:05:13,150 --> 00:05:14,650
- Oh, my God!
- Dammit, Krieger!
103
00:05:14,718 --> 00:05:16,618
So, now we gotta forfeit
league night?
104
00:05:16,687 --> 00:05:17,619
How the hell
did you run out of gas?
105
00:05:17,688 --> 00:05:19,421
Yeah, especially in--
106
00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:21,623
where even are we?
107
00:05:21,692 --> 00:05:23,292
Mm... Brownsville?
108
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,761
Hey, whoa.
It may be a bit rundown,
109
00:05:25,829 --> 00:05:27,129
but there's no need
to be racist.
110
00:05:27,197 --> 00:05:29,231
No, not because
of African-Americans.
111
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:31,967
Brownsville's just the name,
dip-nuts.
112
00:05:32,036 --> 00:05:33,549
Yeah, which doesn't
really make sense
113
00:05:33,669 --> 00:05:35,814
because this all used to be Jewtown.
114
00:05:35,934 --> 00:05:38,322
Whoa, not cool, dude.
115
00:05:38,442 --> 00:05:40,859
Oh, please, you people
invented racism.
116
00:05:40,945 --> 00:05:43,111
Also you're just
a reconstructed light-field,
117
00:05:43,197 --> 00:05:44,496
produced by firing a laser
through a beam-splitter.
118
00:05:46,216 --> 00:05:48,550
Whoa!
Yeah, dude, not cool.
119
00:05:48,619 --> 00:05:49,868
Hot!
120
00:05:49,954 --> 00:05:50,619
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot...
121
00:05:50,704 --> 00:05:52,854
How is it?
122
00:05:52,923 --> 00:05:55,857
Oh, it is hot, Lem.
Can I call you Lem?
123
00:05:55,926 --> 00:05:59,127
Of course you may, absolutely,
124
00:05:59,196 --> 00:06:00,797
but it's actually
pronounced Doctor Kane.
125
00:06:00,798 --> 00:06:02,497
Ah.
126
00:06:02,566 --> 00:06:05,200
Ah--
Mm...
127
00:06:05,269 --> 00:06:06,201
Ah...
128
00:06:06,270 --> 00:06:08,837
Hm.
129
00:06:08,906 --> 00:06:11,473
Well, Lana's feeding the baby.
How is it?
130
00:06:11,542 --> 00:06:14,676
Hot.
Actually almost too hot, now that you, um--
131
00:06:14,745 --> 00:06:15,985
I'm actually gonna
hop out, so--
132
00:06:16,013 --> 00:06:18,513
Nonsense.
You stay right there.
133
00:06:18,582 --> 00:06:20,482
Uh-huh--
134
00:06:20,551 --> 00:06:21,817
Mm...
135
00:06:21,885 --> 00:06:24,236
Isn't this just so relaxing?
136
00:06:24,321 --> 00:06:25,954
Is it?
137
00:06:26,023 --> 00:06:28,457
Well, nudity
is our natural state.
138
00:06:28,525 --> 00:06:29,958
He's not nude.
139
00:06:30,027 --> 00:06:32,127
What?
Then why are you in here?
140
00:06:32,196 --> 00:06:34,096
I was just asking myself
the same--
141
00:06:34,164 --> 00:06:36,932
That's ridiculous,
you have to be naked.
142
00:06:37,001 --> 00:06:38,634
Otherwise it's pointless.
Is it?
143
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:40,435
Trunks, young man, trunks.
144
00:06:40,504 --> 00:06:42,871
Um... 'kay...
145
00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:45,841
There, now that's not so hard,
is it?
146
00:06:45,909 --> 00:06:47,943
So, do you guys
do phrasing, or...?
147
00:06:48,012 --> 00:06:50,846
And now that we're all
skyclad, as they say,
148
00:06:50,914 --> 00:06:52,814
we have something very special
149
00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:54,249
we'd like to share with you.
150
00:06:54,318 --> 00:06:55,617
Wait, what?
151
00:06:55,686 --> 00:06:57,019
But just between us three,
152
00:06:57,087 --> 00:06:58,920
there's no reason
to tell Lana about it.
153
00:06:58,989 --> 00:07:02,491
No, she might not...
approve.
154
00:07:02,559 --> 00:07:05,460
Oh, God...
155
00:07:05,529 --> 00:07:07,663
Okay, but just so you know,
156
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,531
I've never worn a condom, ever,
157
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:13,168
and Lem, obviously the implicit
agreement between you and I,
158
00:07:13,237 --> 00:07:15,771
is that at no time
will our penises touch,
159
00:07:15,839 --> 00:07:17,873
but I'd also appreciate it
160
00:07:17,941 --> 00:07:20,709
if you didn't make eye contact,
161
00:07:20,778 --> 00:07:23,612
you know... with me...
during...
162
00:07:23,681 --> 00:07:26,835
Did I...
misread th--
163
00:07:31,822 --> 00:07:32,821
I--
No.
164
00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:35,090
No. You do not talk.
165
00:07:35,159 --> 00:07:37,459
In fact, first thing tomorrow,
166
00:07:37,528 --> 00:07:39,928
you're going to the vet to
have your vocal chords clipped.
167
00:07:39,997 --> 00:07:42,097
How about just put to sleep?
168
00:07:44,371 --> 00:07:46,516
Because who
gets in a hot tub naked
169
00:07:46,636 --> 00:07:48,419
with an almost
complete stranger?
170
00:07:48,488 --> 00:07:51,288
Because everybody!
Because Berkeley!
171
00:07:51,357 --> 00:07:53,157
That's-- how does an entire
city get a pass
172
00:07:53,226 --> 00:07:55,059
on acceptable behavior?
173
00:07:55,128 --> 00:07:56,494
Acceptable behavior?
174
00:07:56,562 --> 00:07:58,329
This, from the man
who just tried
175
00:07:58,397 --> 00:07:58,996
to have a threesome
with me and my wife?
176
00:07:59,065 --> 00:08:01,899
I was being polite!
177
00:08:01,968 --> 00:08:04,034
Wh--? How is that polite?
178
00:08:04,103 --> 00:08:05,669
Because I thought
that's what they wanted!
179
00:08:05,738 --> 00:08:09,039
They said they wanted to share
a special secret with me, so--
180
00:08:09,108 --> 00:08:10,407
Wait, what special secret?
181
00:08:10,476 --> 00:08:12,476
What?
Why is he even still here?
182
00:08:12,545 --> 00:08:14,111
Daddy...
Look, the man's an ass-bucket.
183
00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:17,915
What the--?
Hey don't look at me, I'm not--
184
00:08:17,984 --> 00:08:19,450
The baby!
Oh, shit!
185
00:08:19,519 --> 00:08:21,318
- Oh, dear God...
- Mom?
186
00:08:21,387 --> 00:08:22,052
Claudette?
I'm in here,
187
00:08:22,121 --> 00:08:23,053
in the study!
188
00:08:23,122 --> 00:08:25,022
Where's A.J.?
189
00:08:25,091 --> 00:08:26,223
She's fine,
she's upstairs, but--
190
00:08:26,292 --> 00:08:28,341
What the hell happened?
191
00:08:28,461 --> 00:08:29,827
Oh, my God...
my research!
192
00:08:34,066 --> 00:08:36,133
All my research...
193
00:08:36,202 --> 00:08:38,169
my data, my notes!
All my samples!
194
00:08:38,237 --> 00:08:40,437
All my years of work!
It's all gone!
195
00:08:40,506 --> 00:08:42,940
Why would anybody want mildew?
Algae!
196
00:08:49,482 --> 00:08:51,115
Oh, my God, are you shitting me?
197
00:08:51,184 --> 00:08:53,439
With a baby in the house?
198
00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:55,709
Why do you have a gun?
What, seriously?
199
00:08:55,829 --> 00:08:58,091
For this.
200
00:09:03,863 --> 00:09:05,129
Great.
201
00:09:05,198 --> 00:09:07,031
Lana, what is the meaning
of this?
202
00:09:07,099 --> 00:09:09,333
Why does he have a gun?
203
00:09:09,402 --> 00:09:12,503
Okay, so--
Whoa, whoa, whoa-- C'mon,
204
00:09:12,572 --> 00:09:15,039
are we not even gonna address
how amazing that shot was?
205
00:09:15,107 --> 00:09:15,906
Not now, Archer, I'm--
206
00:09:17,944 --> 00:09:20,244
Shit.
207
00:09:20,313 --> 00:09:21,212
Yeah, so listen,
if you wanna catch those guys
208
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:21,879
and get your
mildew back--
209
00:09:21,948 --> 00:09:23,647
It's algae.
210
00:09:23,716 --> 00:09:25,015
Yeah, take that tone.
211
00:09:25,084 --> 00:09:26,917
You got a car?
What?
212
00:09:26,986 --> 00:09:28,285
Yes,
but, but, but--
213
00:09:28,354 --> 00:09:31,255
Get your shit together, Lem!
214
00:09:31,324 --> 00:09:32,056
Be a lamb and watch the baby?
215
00:09:34,627 --> 00:09:37,428
Lana, this is all just crazy,
why does he have a gun?
216
00:09:37,496 --> 00:09:39,263
And why is he driving?
I should be driving!
217
00:09:39,332 --> 00:09:41,265
No, Daddy, Archer should drive.
218
00:09:41,334 --> 00:09:42,333
He's actually
pretty great at it.
219
00:09:44,437 --> 00:09:46,303
When he's not busy ejaculating.
220
00:09:46,372 --> 00:09:49,240
Not in my Mustang, you don't!
221
00:09:49,308 --> 00:09:51,308
But, seriously,
what's wrong with him?
222
00:09:51,377 --> 00:09:54,445
Guys, this is, this is
the-- the car from--
223
00:09:54,513 --> 00:09:56,714
Bullitt, we know,
and if you'd go already,
224
00:09:56,782 --> 00:09:59,416
maybe later I'll dress up
like Steve McQueen for you!
225
00:09:59,485 --> 00:10:02,019
Ew, that's not even
what it's about.
226
00:10:02,088 --> 00:10:03,169
Plus your hands are too big.
227
00:10:03,189 --> 00:10:04,755
Go!
But speaking of McQueen,
228
00:10:04,824 --> 00:10:06,156
if there was ever a time
to wear the Tactleneck--
229
00:10:06,225 --> 00:10:08,892
Go!
Okay! Hang on!
230
00:10:08,961 --> 00:10:11,278
Easy, easy!
231
00:10:11,364 --> 00:10:12,730
Easy...
232
00:10:12,798 --> 00:10:16,166
Easy...
233
00:10:16,235 --> 00:10:19,036
Easy--
Will you shut up?
234
00:10:19,105 --> 00:10:21,105
We're only going
one mile an hour!
235
00:10:21,173 --> 00:10:22,706
If that! Jesus...
236
00:10:22,775 --> 00:10:24,642
Aw, shush and push!
237
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:26,277
You guys all better
be pushing back there!
238
00:10:26,345 --> 00:10:27,505
- We are!
- I am pushing.
239
00:10:27,546 --> 00:10:28,946
Swearsies, realsies.
I push.
240
00:10:29,015 --> 00:10:31,582
Son of a bitch...
241
00:10:31,651 --> 00:10:34,618
then I dunno why this heap
of shit's not going faster.
242
00:10:34,687 --> 00:10:36,587
Well, first of all,
I think you mean
243
00:10:36,656 --> 00:10:40,190
heap of bitchin',
and second of all, hang on.
244
00:10:40,259 --> 00:10:41,325
Wh--?
245
00:10:41,394 --> 00:10:43,994
the frickin' brake was on?
246
00:10:44,063 --> 00:10:47,097
God--
247
00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:49,183
Dammit, Archer!
248
00:10:49,268 --> 00:10:51,435
- Whoo!
- Archer!
249
00:10:51,487 --> 00:10:53,604
You're going
too fast, you idiot.
250
00:10:53,689 --> 00:10:56,440
Idiot? Who kept his
life's work in his frickin' house,
251
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,475
apparently without any kind
of backup whatsoever?
252
00:10:58,544 --> 00:11:01,161
Uh, yeah, that's actually
a good point.
253
00:11:01,247 --> 00:11:02,513
I couldn't keep
my work at the lab.
254
00:11:02,581 --> 00:11:04,448
It's potentially worth billions!
255
00:11:04,500 --> 00:11:06,333
People would literally
kill for it!
256
00:11:06,419 --> 00:11:08,085
Whoa, Whoa.
257
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,181
Case in point.
258
00:11:10,301 --> 00:11:12,526
Well, even if I'm not family...
259
00:11:12,646 --> 00:11:15,008
Oh, my God, okay...
260
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:17,461
What's the deal with this algae?
261
00:11:17,513 --> 00:11:21,432
I found a way to use
it as bio-fuel!
262
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,434
Am I supposed to know
what that means, or...?
263
00:11:23,502 --> 00:11:25,602
As a replacement
for fossil fuels!
264
00:11:25,671 --> 00:11:27,137
Oh.
265
00:11:27,206 --> 00:11:30,774
Oh, my God--
Duh-hoi.
266
00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:33,491
Under the right conditions,
the algae reproduce infinitely,
267
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:36,697
and the only by-product
of burning it, is water.
268
00:11:36,782 --> 00:11:39,817
Holy shit, I'm surprised
nobody's killed you already.
269
00:11:39,869 --> 00:11:42,030
That's why I had to
keep my research a secret.
270
00:11:42,071 --> 00:11:44,738
Can you imagine what this
will mean to Big Oil? Or OPEC?
271
00:11:44,824 --> 00:11:47,658
Well, there's no need to be racist.
How is the acronym
272
00:11:47,743 --> 00:11:50,494
for the Organization of Petroleum
Exporting Countries racist?
273
00:11:50,546 --> 00:11:51,128
Oh, that's what that means?
274
00:11:51,163 --> 00:11:52,830
Oh!
275
00:11:52,882 --> 00:11:54,998
Goddammit.
276
00:11:55,067 --> 00:11:56,333
This is an American icon!
277
00:11:58,637 --> 00:12:01,505
You Philistines!
278
00:12:01,574 --> 00:12:05,376
Hey, I know, let's, um--
uh-- teabag Dr. Seuss.
279
00:12:05,444 --> 00:12:08,762
Yeah, great idea. I'll hold him down.
Huh?
280
00:12:08,848 --> 00:12:10,848
Look here, Archer, I've told
you about my research.
281
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:13,183
How about telling me why
the hell you carry a gun?
282
00:12:13,235 --> 00:12:14,568
Yeah speaking of, I'm out.
283
00:12:14,653 --> 00:12:16,320
Lemme hold yours
while you reload me.
284
00:12:16,355 --> 00:12:17,404
Hold your what?
Uh--
285
00:12:20,192 --> 00:12:22,109
Lana, come on!
Zona peligrosa!
286
00:12:22,194 --> 00:12:23,911
What is he talking about?
287
00:12:26,599 --> 00:12:29,416
What in the--?
Lana Anthony Kane!
288
00:12:29,502 --> 00:12:33,003
Okay, so--
289
00:12:33,038 --> 00:12:35,339
Anthony?
After Susan B.!
290
00:12:35,374 --> 00:12:38,175
Oh, right,
our ugliest president.
291
00:12:38,244 --> 00:12:40,294
Lana, why the hell
do you have a gun?
292
00:12:40,379 --> 00:12:42,045
That's not how we raised you!
293
00:12:42,098 --> 00:12:44,181
I know, Daddy. I know.
294
00:12:44,216 --> 00:12:45,966
So, about my PhD...
295
00:12:49,188 --> 00:12:50,804
How is this funny?
296
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:53,223
What, seriously?
297
00:12:53,275 --> 00:12:56,196
Um, in every possible way.
298
00:13:04,758 --> 00:13:05,638
You're a spy?
299
00:13:05,659 --> 00:13:08,163
Yes, but I can explain!
300
00:13:09,149 --> 00:13:12,779
Oh, you're going to explain lying
to me and your mother all these years.
301
00:13:12,899 --> 00:13:14,599
and could you please
not drive my Mustang
302
00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,268
like a complete
ass-bucket!
303
00:13:17,354 --> 00:13:20,188
Okay, Lem, I think maybe
you're transferring a little.
304
00:13:20,273 --> 00:13:22,774
You're not angry at me.
You're angry at Lana.
305
00:13:22,826 --> 00:13:25,681
I'm well aware
of at whom I'm angry!
306
00:13:27,047 --> 00:13:28,613
But thank you for reminding him.
307
00:13:28,665 --> 00:13:31,519
Yeah, think of me as a mediator.
308
00:13:32,786 --> 00:13:35,787
And spying for whom, exactly?
309
00:13:35,839 --> 00:13:37,455
I hope to God
it's at least for America!
310
00:13:37,541 --> 00:13:40,008
Who else would I be spying for?
How should I know?
311
00:13:40,093 --> 00:13:41,793
All of a sudden I'm talking
to a total stranger!
312
00:13:41,878 --> 00:13:43,628
Lana? How does
that make you feel?
313
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,297
Like I'm gonna shoot you?
314
00:13:46,383 --> 00:13:48,316
Yeah, get in line.
315
00:13:49,719 --> 00:13:50,935
Daddy, of course it's America.
316
00:13:50,971 --> 00:13:52,887
Long story short, these days
317
00:13:52,973 --> 00:13:56,274
we're sort of,
contractors for the CIA.
318
00:13:56,309 --> 00:13:59,027
The CIA?
Did you just drop in on your way to overthrow
319
00:13:59,112 --> 00:14:01,279
a democratically elected
government somewhere?
320
00:14:01,314 --> 00:14:04,032
Lem, let's try to avoid using sarcasm.
I wasn't.
321
00:14:04,117 --> 00:14:06,067
You see? This is why
I never told you!
322
00:14:06,153 --> 00:14:08,486
I knew you
wouldn't understand!
323
00:14:08,572 --> 00:14:10,188
Because you could've
been a great scientist, Lana!
324
00:14:10,257 --> 00:14:13,106
How could you just throw away
your God-given talent?
325
00:14:15,162 --> 00:14:17,785
But it wasn't my talent,
Daddy...
326
00:14:21,718 --> 00:14:23,218
You and Mom just wanted
it to be.
327
00:14:23,303 --> 00:14:25,170
Oh, come on, now.
328
00:14:25,255 --> 00:14:26,671
You used to love going
to all those science fairs!
329
00:14:26,756 --> 00:14:29,174
I used to hate it!
330
00:14:29,259 --> 00:14:31,176
Remember, I always threw up
in the car on the way there?
331
00:14:34,347 --> 00:14:36,648
I'm sorry...
332
00:14:36,683 --> 00:14:38,683
Oh, goddammit--
Lemuel!
333
00:14:38,735 --> 00:14:40,151
From excitement!
334
00:14:40,187 --> 00:14:42,854
From terror, but
I was always so afraid
335
00:14:42,906 --> 00:14:45,023
of letting you and Mom down,
that I--
336
00:14:45,075 --> 00:14:47,158
I couldn't
ever tell you how I felt.
337
00:14:47,194 --> 00:14:50,862
Hey. C'mon, now. You could
never let us down, honey.
338
00:14:50,914 --> 00:14:52,664
I-- I hope you know that.
339
00:14:52,699 --> 00:14:55,250
Really?
Oh, Lana,
340
00:14:55,335 --> 00:14:58,336
we'll always be proud of you,
and we'll always love you,
341
00:14:58,371 --> 00:15:01,456
even when you make stupid,
stupid, stupid choices,
342
00:15:01,541 --> 00:15:04,542
like him.
Aww.
343
00:15:04,594 --> 00:15:06,711
Well, I think we've
made some real progress here,
344
00:15:06,796 --> 00:15:08,930
and I'd say, we've got about
345
00:15:09,015 --> 00:15:10,882
30 seconds before
the engine locks up,
346
00:15:10,934 --> 00:15:14,969
so does anyone
have a plan? Anyone?
347
00:15:15,055 --> 00:15:16,604
Guys, c'mon, there's
no dumb ideas.
348
00:15:18,558 --> 00:15:19,891
What if we grease the tires?
349
00:15:19,976 --> 00:15:23,175
How would that possibly help?
350
00:15:25,604 --> 00:15:29,271
Hey, yeah, toss out all your empties,
that will get rid of some weight, huh?
351
00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:33,838
Toss out... everything!
352
00:15:33,907 --> 00:15:37,075
We've gotta get rid of
some of this weight!
353
00:15:37,143 --> 00:15:38,109
Well, the speakers
are obviously the--
354
00:15:38,178 --> 00:15:40,245
No!
For the love of God, man,
355
00:15:40,313 --> 00:15:42,680
are you quite literally insane?
Sorry.
356
00:15:42,749 --> 00:15:44,015
Shut up.
357
00:15:44,084 --> 00:15:46,451
What about all these
bowling balls?
358
00:15:46,519 --> 00:15:48,953
What? Yes, you ding-dongs!
359
00:15:49,022 --> 00:15:51,222
Throw out the goddamn
bowling balls!
360
00:15:51,291 --> 00:15:53,091
Okay! Jesus!
361
00:16:03,069 --> 00:16:05,937
And that's how they all died.
362
00:16:05,989 --> 00:16:09,157
That's your plan? To ram it?
363
00:16:09,242 --> 00:16:11,326
Yeah, it's
called a pit maneuver,
364
00:16:11,411 --> 00:16:12,777
I've done it,
like, a million times.
365
00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:14,445
Like, three times.
366
00:16:14,531 --> 00:16:15,914
And Daddy, when they crash,
367
00:16:15,949 --> 00:16:17,115
they're probably gonna
come out firing,
368
00:16:17,167 --> 00:16:19,667
so get down on the floor,
and stay there!
369
00:16:19,753 --> 00:16:20,868
What about you?
Don't worry about me.
370
00:16:20,954 --> 00:16:22,704
This is what I do,
371
00:16:22,789 --> 00:16:23,705
and I'm actually pretty
great at it.
372
00:16:23,790 --> 00:16:25,290
Ehh.
Shut up.
373
00:16:25,342 --> 00:16:27,225
Daddy, floor.
374
00:16:27,294 --> 00:16:28,026
Okay, hang on!
375
00:16:30,063 --> 00:16:31,763
Actually wait, hang on.
What?
376
00:16:31,831 --> 00:16:33,898
Lem, what was the special thing?
377
00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:34,882
- What?
- In the hot tub!
378
00:16:34,968 --> 00:16:36,684
Archer, I think the less said
379
00:16:36,770 --> 00:16:37,769
about the hot tub incident,
the better!
380
00:16:37,804 --> 00:16:39,554
Shut up. what's
the special thing
381
00:16:39,639 --> 00:16:40,672
you two wanted to share with me?
382
00:16:40,740 --> 00:16:42,607
The Kane family reunion!
383
00:16:42,676 --> 00:16:44,058
Wait, what?
Yeah,
384
00:16:44,144 --> 00:16:46,060
we do it every year, it's huge,
385
00:16:46,146 --> 00:16:49,063
and we told her
to invite you, but--
386
00:16:49,149 --> 00:16:51,816
Daddy!
Lana, the man may be a total idiot,
387
00:16:51,901 --> 00:16:53,484
but he is the father
of your child.
388
00:16:53,570 --> 00:16:55,954
Yeah, Lana!
389
00:16:55,989 --> 00:16:57,789
So are we talking like,
a barbecue, or--?
390
00:16:57,824 --> 00:17:01,035
Archer!
Okay! Lana!
391
00:17:09,102 --> 00:17:10,501
And if it's a barbecue,
are the Kanes a brisket crowd,
392
00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:12,676
or pulled pork?
393
00:17:13,873 --> 00:17:16,779
Brisket.
Lame.
394
00:17:17,644 --> 00:17:18,609
Don't shoot!
395
00:17:18,678 --> 00:17:20,745
Don't shoot!
396
00:17:20,814 --> 00:17:23,532
Please, don't-- Darryl?
Pam?
397
00:17:23,652 --> 00:17:25,650
Oh, my God,
398
00:17:25,719 --> 00:17:27,785
I used to beat this bitch's ass
399
00:17:27,854 --> 00:17:29,787
at fight club, like,
all the time!
400
00:17:29,856 --> 00:17:31,689
- Sup?
- Hey, guys.
401
00:17:31,758 --> 00:17:33,891
Pff, like, three times.
402
00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,459
Now, what're you doin'
bowling bowlin' balls
403
00:17:35,468 --> 00:17:36,733
in the damn street?
404
00:17:36,762 --> 00:17:38,029
Long story, funny story,
405
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,452
and I'll tell you guys
all about it over beers
406
00:17:40,572 --> 00:17:42,466
at the nearest titty bar, my treat.
407
00:17:42,586 --> 00:17:44,606
Titties ain't gonna fix my car, poovee.
408
00:17:44,726 --> 00:17:47,288
No, but Beard McBoggeyes over there will
409
00:17:47,408 --> 00:17:49,073
and he'll install
a nitrous tank,
410
00:17:49,142 --> 00:17:51,275
so you don't have to drive
around town like a giant pussy.
411
00:17:51,344 --> 00:17:52,377
Won't ya, Krieger?
412
00:17:52,445 --> 00:17:54,078
Yep!
Yep, yep, yep!
413
00:17:54,147 --> 00:17:56,997
So c'mon, let's go make
it rain Pammy.
414
00:17:57,117 --> 00:17:58,449
What about them?
415
00:17:58,518 --> 00:18:00,923
Honestly don't care.
416
00:18:13,950 --> 00:18:15,533
Reloading!
Archer, cover me!
417
00:18:15,602 --> 00:18:17,869
Wait, what?
Archer?
418
00:18:17,937 --> 00:18:19,604
What the--?
Slater?
419
00:18:19,672 --> 00:18:22,807
Ta-daa.
420
00:18:22,876 --> 00:18:24,642
With a baby in the house?
421
00:18:24,711 --> 00:18:27,011
We didn't know you were there,
422
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,981
which was obviously an
operational failure on our end.
423
00:18:30,050 --> 00:18:31,883
- Ethan!
- Yeah, Ethan!
424
00:18:31,951 --> 00:18:33,651
And don't be shitty, Archer,
you dick.
425
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,653
You killed one of my guys.
426
00:18:35,722 --> 00:18:38,322
Yeah, was that shot not insane?
427
00:18:38,391 --> 00:18:40,124
What is insane is the CIA stealing
my father's research, Slater!
428
00:18:40,193 --> 00:18:42,126
Why?
429
00:18:42,195 --> 00:18:44,695
Because, Dr. Kane,
your research has jeopardized
430
00:18:44,764 --> 00:18:46,597
our national security.
431
00:18:46,666 --> 00:18:49,400
What? What do you mean?
How?
432
00:18:49,469 --> 00:18:51,035
Because if you think the
Middle East is messed up now,
433
00:18:51,104 --> 00:18:53,137
just wait until nobody
needs their oil.
434
00:18:53,206 --> 00:18:54,567
Man, you guys
are so big picture...
435
00:18:54,574 --> 00:18:56,741
No, wait, you can't--
436
00:18:56,810 --> 00:18:58,276
that was a lifetime of work
for my father!
437
00:18:58,344 --> 00:19:00,545
Yeah, yeah. Dr. Kane,
438
00:19:00,613 --> 00:19:01,379
do you have online banking?
439
00:19:01,448 --> 00:19:03,281
I-- yes,
but--
440
00:19:03,349 --> 00:19:05,783
So, if you wanna go ahead
and check your account balance?
441
00:19:05,852 --> 00:19:08,953
Huh.
442
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:10,655
Well, I can tell you right now,
443
00:19:10,723 --> 00:19:11,756
this doesn't
come anywhere close--
444
00:19:11,825 --> 00:19:13,791
That amount,
direct-deposited
445
00:19:13,860 --> 00:19:15,893
every month,
for the rest of your life.
446
00:19:15,962 --> 00:19:19,831
Every month?
Well, Mr. Slater, I--
447
00:19:19,899 --> 00:19:20,565
I think we've
got ourselves a deal.
448
00:19:20,633 --> 00:19:23,067
Daddy, no!
449
00:19:23,136 --> 00:19:24,202
What about the algae,
so we don't have to burn
450
00:19:24,270 --> 00:19:25,770
fossil fuels?
451
00:19:25,839 --> 00:19:27,004
Honey, forget
about fossil fuels.
452
00:19:27,073 --> 00:19:28,673
We're gonna be able
to burn money.
453
00:19:30,743 --> 00:19:34,245
Happy?
What, like in general?
454
00:19:34,314 --> 00:19:35,933
Because yes.
455
00:19:37,450 --> 00:19:40,118
So, listen...
456
00:19:40,186 --> 00:19:41,719
I wanna thank you,
for trying to save
457
00:19:41,788 --> 00:19:42,920
my dad's research,
and even though
458
00:19:42,989 --> 00:19:44,822
I'm obviously
still furious about
459
00:19:44,891 --> 00:19:45,723
the hot tub incident,
and will be, probably,
460
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:47,758
for years to come,
461
00:19:47,827 --> 00:19:49,794
I can see how you--
you, Archer,
462
00:19:49,863 --> 00:19:52,130
could have misconstrued
the situation,
463
00:19:52,198 --> 00:19:53,931
and even though it's kinda
hard for me to admit it,
464
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,160
you are family to me,
and not just because of A.J.
465
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,640
and I realize now that I should
have invited you to the family reunion, so
466
00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:01,474
I'm sorry.
467
00:20:02,014 --> 00:20:03,089
Sorry that I hurt your feelings.
468
00:20:03,209 --> 00:20:05,476
Well, thanks.
469
00:20:05,545 --> 00:20:07,145
I accept your apology.
470
00:20:14,988 --> 00:20:17,167
Sorry I tried to spit-roast
your mom.
471
00:20:17,287 --> 00:20:22,778
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com