1
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:15,681
I have been hearing such great
things about your new show.

2
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:16,949
- Have you?
- Oh, that's so nice.

3
00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:19,718
Word around town? A-ma-zing.

4
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:20,819
Lunch is on me.

5
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,321
Lunch is always on you.

6
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,256
What'd help is a job.
You got one of those?

7
00:00:24,291 --> 00:00:25,857
(Chuckling)
Hey, I'm not a magician.

8
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:28,026
Yeah, well, you better pull
something out of your ass.

9
00:00:28,062 --> 00:00:30,195
What magic shows did you go to?

10
00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:32,364
I need a pet name for Helen.

11
00:00:32,399 --> 00:00:35,167
Really? Pet names already?

12
00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:37,069
I know.

13
00:00:37,104 --> 00:00:40,372
It's like we're on some kind of
accelerated lesbian calendar.

14
00:00:40,407 --> 00:00:42,808
Like, three days is a week.

15
00:00:42,843 --> 00:00:45,844
If I were a dog, I'd be dead by now.

16
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:50,682
Sync & corrections by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com

17
00:01:40,862 --> 00:01:43,035
Hey, look at this.
It's the set model for our new show.

18
00:01:43,070 --> 00:01:44,870
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

19
00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:48,440
They're actually building the
entire house on the stage.

20
00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:52,077
Three stories,
and all these walls come out,

21
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,113
so they can shoot from
one floor to another.

22
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:56,782
Huh.

23
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:58,950
Anyway, you got to see this.

24
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,356
Well, that's a vagina.

25
00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:06,124
Yeah. My kid did it.

26
00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:09,261
Aw, even more disturbing.

27
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:12,497
Not the six-year-old,
the eight-year-old.

28
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:13,832
How are you not in prison?

29
00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:15,200
Come on. It's art.

30
00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,501
Or evidence.

31
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:17,969
Picture's up.

32
00:02:18,005 --> 00:02:19,705
All right,
got to go be somewhat amusing.

33
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,973
- Can I leave this here?
- No.

34
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,443
Please take your twat and go.

35
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,577
(Scoffs)

36
00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,479
Hey, check it out. My kid did this.

37
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,581
You know what really bothers me?

38
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:31,783
Besides the eight-year-old
drawing beaver shots?

39
00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:34,486
You notice he wasn't
the least bit interested

40
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,121
in our thing.

41
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,623
Well, I've got to say,
a set model versus kiddie porn?

42
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,292
No, that's not the point.

43
00:02:40,327 --> 00:02:42,828
If it's not about him,
he couldn't care less.

44
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,397
Right, he's self-involved.
He's narcissistic.

45
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:46,432
He's... (gasps)

46
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,733
an actor.

47
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,469
I know it's hard to remember
given his work on this show.

48
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:53,004
Just so bloody one-sided.

49
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:55,907
You realize he's never even
asked to read our script?

50
00:02:55,943 --> 00:02:57,642
Everyone in town has read it.

51
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:00,278
Wouldn't you think he'd
be slightly curious?

52
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,980
Maybe he read it and didn't like it.

53
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,182
Maybe he's just trying
to spare our feelings.

54
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,218
- Does that sound like him?
- Mm.

55
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,754
Well, then, if he doesn't
want to read it, who cares?

56
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:11,523
What, you need
his informed literary opinion?

57
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:12,758
No, it's just...

58
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,926
Who he is.

59
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:17,329
Please let it go.

60
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:20,866
Just compliment his son's
vagina and leave it at that.

61
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,508
So we, um...

62
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,210
we have our first notes on
the script for the new show.

63
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,512
- Yeah?
- Mm.

64
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,480
It's amazing. Virtually nothing.

65
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,916
Wow.

66
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:41,920
It's a little disconcerting,
all this unbridled praise.

67
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,622
Everyone just seems to love it.

68
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:45,023
That's great.

69
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,893
- I'm thinking of getting a drone.
- A drone?

70
00:03:47,928 --> 00:03:49,161
Yeah, anyone can buy them now.

71
00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,476
What would you do with a drone?

72
00:03:50,497 --> 00:03:52,898
I don't know, drone stuff.

73
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:54,466
Look at the tops of birds,

74
00:03:54,501 --> 00:03:55,834
see my roof,

75
00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:57,903
drop shit on Burt Bacharach's house.

76
00:03:57,938 --> 00:04:00,806
- Why Burt Bacharach?
- It's a whole thing.

77
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:04,676
But he'll know.

78
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:07,078
So you haven't by any chance read it,
have you?

79
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,413
What?

80
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:09,748
- Our script.
- No.

81
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,383
Oh, good.

82
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,552
For a second, I was afraid
you might be the one person

83
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,720
who read it and didn't love it.

84
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,323
Oh, not to worry.

85
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,091
I could take pictures
of Suzanne Somers.

86
00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:21,493
- What?
- With my drone.

87
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,061
She lives next to me.

88
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:27,098
Her gardener told my gardener
that she lies out naked.

89
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:29,467
- I'd drone that.
- Right.

90
00:04:29,503 --> 00:04:31,636
(Exhales)

91
00:04:31,672 --> 00:04:32,904
- Quick question.
- Hmm?

92
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,573
What is wrong with you?

93
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,308
- Why don't you want to read it?
- What?

94
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:39,444
Our script.
Why don't you want to read it?

95
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,279
Whoa, okay, fine. I'll read it.

96
00:04:41,315 --> 00:04:42,781
Oh, no, don't do me any favors.

97
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,482
I don't need a mercy read.

98
00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:46,751
All right.

99
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,287
Seriously? You're not gonna read it?

100
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,989
Okay, I don't know what you want here.

101
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,658
I would like, just for once,
for you to be interested

102
00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:55,794
in something that's important to me.

103
00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:58,671
Shouldn't we be sleeping together
to be having this conversation?

104
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:00,098
Fine.

105
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,269
(Exhales)
Please can I read your script?

106
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,437
No.

107
00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,738
You're right. I'm sorry.

108
00:05:06,773 --> 00:05:09,374
- I'm a selfish asshole.
- Agreed.

109
00:05:09,409 --> 00:05:11,509
I really want to read it.

110
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,979
- Really?
- Yes.

111
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,316
All right.

112
00:05:18,352 --> 00:05:21,186
As long as you're not doing it
just because I pressured you into it.

113
00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:22,554
- Oh, well...
- What?

114
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:26,291
I'm kidding. Jesus.

115
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,060
And by the way,
I know I don't say it enough,

116
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:32,297
but you're the prettiest
girl in the room.

117
00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:39,271
Yeah, that's gonna be on TMZ.

118
00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,042
Where are we
on the Angry Men rewrite?

119
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:46,778
I think some of them
are still too angry.

120
00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:48,173
(Sighs)

121
00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:50,139
Is he ever gonna get there?

122
00:05:50,140 --> 00:05:51,616
Should we just pull
the plug on this thing?

123
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,451
Probably. I don't think he's capab...

124
00:05:53,487 --> 00:05:54,586
(Gags)

125
00:05:58,759 --> 00:05:59,858
Are you okay?

126
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,793
Mm-hmm.
(Swallows)

127
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,194
Sorry.

128
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,363
I just don't think he's...
(Gags)

129
00:06:05,399 --> 00:06:07,565
- Do you need to...
- Mm-hmm.

130
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:13,071
Wow.

131
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,673
Do you think she's ever gonna tell us?

132
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:15,907
Are we absolutely sure?

133
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,275
Oh, please.

134
00:06:17,311 --> 00:06:19,177
What month do you think she's in?

135
00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,612
11th? 12th?

136
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,547
And there's definitely no boyfriend?

137
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,215
Not that I know of.

138
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,750
She lives alone.

139
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,719
She just has those two cats.

140
00:06:27,754 --> 00:06:29,120
Maybe she's having a cliché.

141
00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,455
Oh.

142
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:31,957
(Intercom buzzes)

143
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,960
Carol, Helen needs to see you.

144
00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:36,728
Okay.

145
00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:37,896
Right back.

146
00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:53,245
Morning.

147
00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:54,446
Hey.

148
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:02,554
How was your weekend?

149
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,622
Eh, quiet.

150
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,095
What did you do?

151
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,629
Nothing, really.

152
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:15,400
Hung out, watched TV.

153
00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,770
Read anything?

154
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:20,572
Actually,
I'm reading this book on tape.

155
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:22,107
It's really cool.

156
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,975
It's about how if Hitler
had won the war...

157
00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,777
I'll tell you,
we sure dodged a bullet there.

158
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:26,945
(Chuckles)

159
00:07:31,018 --> 00:07:32,951
What?

160
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,560
Oh! Oh, oh, right. Right.

161
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,696
I'm gonna get to it as soon
as I get a free minute.

162
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,297
You had the whole bloody weekend.

163
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,534
- I said I'll read it.
- It's 28 pages.

164
00:07:49,569 --> 00:07:51,469
It's not the fucking Goldfinch.

165
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,772
- I don't know...
- It's a thick book.

166
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,807
- Got you.
- Unbelievable.

167
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:03,014
Knock, knock. What's up?

168
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:07,152
I believe there is something
for you on my desk.

169
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:09,320
What is this?

170
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:10,522
What did you do?

171
00:08:10,557 --> 00:08:11,990
Open it.

172
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:15,460
(Sighs)
You should not have done this.

173
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,628
(Chuckles)

174
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,788
Oh, my God.

175
00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,417
This is...

176
00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:28,254
No one has ever...

177
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:30,721
I can't even...

178
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,770
I can't...

179
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:35,046
I can't...

180
00:08:35,082 --> 00:08:36,681
I can't breathe.

181
00:08:36,716 --> 00:08:38,516
Calm down. You're breathing.

182
00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,751
A key?

183
00:08:39,786 --> 00:08:41,286
After two weeks?

184
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:44,255
It's just... It's too much too fast.

185
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:46,191
Oh, did I tell you?

186
00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,393
She already invited me to Stanford

187
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,761
for her daughter's graduation.

188
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:51,696
- Aw.
- In June.

189
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:53,298
Well, that's not so...

190
00:08:53,333 --> 00:08:55,667
No, not this June. Next June.

191
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,303
- Oh.
- Oh, God.

192
00:08:58,338 --> 00:09:00,872
What is wrong with me?

193
00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:02,874
I should be happy.

194
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,743
This... It's like a dream come true,

195
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,679
and I'm getting hives.

196
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,048
Oh, that is definitely hive-y.

197
00:09:10,083 --> 00:09:11,282
All right, stop looking.

198
00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:12,550
Okay. Okay, listen.

199
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:16,287
You have to tell her how you feel.

200
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,056
Nyeh.

201
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:21,092
You can't spend an entire
relationship on antihistamines.

202
00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,428
Wh-what am I supposed to say?

203
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:24,796
"Less love, please."

204
00:09:24,831 --> 00:09:28,233
I... I don't want to hurt her.

205
00:09:28,268 --> 00:09:31,236
You're just asking her
to slow down a bit.

206
00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:35,140
Look, if this relationship
has any hope of sustaining,

207
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,475
you have got to be honest.

208
00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:39,878
Okay, fine.

209
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,379
(Sighs)
You're right.

210
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:42,547
I hear you.

211
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:46,784
(Cell phone ringing)

212
00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,052
Yeah.

213
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,255
(Stammering)

214
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,323
Hi, sweetie.

215
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,925
No, I'm at the dentist.

216
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,261
I lost a crown.

217
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:58,530
It's all good. Be back soon.

218
00:09:58,565 --> 00:10:00,398
(Whimpers)
I got to go.

219
00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:08,673
You know, I'm a writer too.

220
00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:11,509
Oh, no. No, I did not.

221
00:10:11,545 --> 00:10:13,411
I'm working on a screenplay.

222
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:14,679
Ah.

223
00:10:14,714 --> 00:10:16,314
Oh, good for you.

224
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,485
It's about this girl.

225
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:21,986
Oh, okay.

226
00:10:22,022 --> 00:10:23,621
Nobody ever notices her.

227
00:10:23,657 --> 00:10:26,291
No one ever asks about
her life or how she's doing.

228
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,027
It's... it's like she's not a person too.

229
00:10:29,062 --> 00:10:30,628
- No one cares.
- Aw.

230
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:34,465
So she decides to kill her coworkers.

231
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:38,836
Ah. Did not see that coming.

232
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,405
There's your twist.

233
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:44,169
She just feels like,
"You don't notice me?

234
00:10:45,078 --> 00:10:46,344
You'll notice me."

235
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,846
And there's your motivation.

236
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,815
Good, you'll need that.

237
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:55,019
So... she kills them...

238
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:57,155
By poisoning them.

239
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,257
I see.

240
00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:02,060
She does it slowly, little by little,

241
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:04,796
and no one suspects because
she's just this girl.

242
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,332
Who is she? She's nobody.

243
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:08,433
No one would think.

244
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,301
Of course not. Perfect crime.

245
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,903
Can I show it to you when I'm done?

246
00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,339
Absolutely. Yes, I'm very interested.

247
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:17,041
(Chuckling)

248
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,182
Where did you get that?

249
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,950
Over there.

250
00:11:25,986 --> 00:11:27,885
- What are you doing?
- Nothing.

251
00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:32,624
Fucking brilliant.

252
00:11:32,659 --> 00:11:33,925
You read it?

253
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:35,960
- Like I had a choice.
- Interesting.

254
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:40,832
Oh, well,
I might have mentioned once or...

255
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:42,500
Stop looking at me.

256
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,602
- It is so good.
- Really?

257
00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:46,170
Oh, my God. I laughed my ass off.

258
00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:47,805
Now I see why everybody's flipping out.

259
00:11:47,841 --> 00:11:49,274
- Thank you.
- My goodness.

260
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:50,975
So have you started casting?

261
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,410
Can I put in a good word for someone?

262
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,544
Absolutely. Who?

263
00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:54,879
Me.

264
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,383
- I'm sorry?
- Say what?

265
00:11:58,418 --> 00:12:01,753
I would love to do this.

266
00:12:04,457 --> 00:12:06,724
Great.

267
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,727
Yes, great.

268
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:13,564
What, um...
What part were you thinking?

269
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:15,099
Well, got to be Anderson.

270
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:17,035
It's like you wrote it for me.

271
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:19,871
Not really.
(Chuckling)

272
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:23,374
Y-you should know that
the actor playing Anderson

273
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:27,478
also has to play Riggs,
so that's maybe more than you...

274
00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:29,314
- Holy shit, I love Riggs.
- Oh.

275
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:31,215
That's my second favorite.

276
00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,785
So I'm Anderson and Riggs?

277
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,688
- Apparently so.
- Wow.

278
00:12:36,723 --> 00:12:39,190
I got to tell you, I was so scared

279
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:42,093
I'd get stuck taking some
shit show for the check,

280
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,761
but this?

281
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,963
And with you guys?

282
00:12:45,999 --> 00:12:48,666
I... I don't know what to say.

283
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:51,436
I think we're all at a loss.
(Both chuckle)

284
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,671
All right. I got to call my agent.

285
00:12:53,707 --> 00:12:55,473
Let's get this thing going. Whoo-hoo!

286
00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,275
Whoo-hoo.

287
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,280
Why did you say "great"?

288
00:13:02,315 --> 00:13:04,782
- Well, you said "great."
- Only because you said it.

289
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,118
If I don't say "great"
after you say "great,"

290
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:08,720
suddenly I'm the bad guy.

291
00:13:08,755 --> 00:13:11,356
And may I just point out...
not in a judgmental way...

292
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:12,890
none of this would have happened

293
00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:15,126
if you hadn't forced him
to read the bloody thing.

294
00:13:15,161 --> 00:13:16,894
This is all of your making.

295
00:13:16,930 --> 00:13:18,229
We don't want him in it, do we?

296
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:20,031
You're really asking me that? No.

297
00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:21,399
- Do you?
- No, he's dead wrong.

298
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,434
- But he's so excited.
- I know.

299
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,303
But we have been down
the Matt LeBlanc road.

300
00:13:25,338 --> 00:13:27,338
It is bumpy, and it ends in a cliff.

301
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:29,173
- So...
- I don't know.

302
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:30,675
But we have to do something.

303
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:32,143
This train is moving.

304
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,711
Hey, what are you guys doing later?

305
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:35,913
Um... nothing.

306
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,715
Come to the beach.
I'll throw some steaks on.

307
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:39,250
- We'll celebrate this thing.
- Great.

308
00:13:39,285 --> 00:13:41,067
Cool.

309
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:43,588
- Who said "great" that time?
- Yeah, I know.

310
00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:45,289
And you notice we didn't stop the train.

311
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,860
No. We added a dining car.

312
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:57,635
Are you a dog person?

313
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,504
Why? What did you order?

314
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,039
(Laughs)
I don't know.

315
00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:06,277
I was just thinking, you know,
maybe we should get a dog.

316
00:14:06,312 --> 00:14:08,446
- Huh.
- Oh, not a fan?

317
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:12,049
Uh, no, I just never had one.

318
00:14:12,085 --> 00:14:13,851
My mother was allergic.

319
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:15,920
We had a bird, Louise.

320
00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:17,789
My sister taught her to say...

321
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:19,424
(Imitating parrot)
"We're gonna crash.

322
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:21,192
- We're gonna crash."
- Oh, my God.

323
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:24,061
Yeah. It was pretty tense at home.

324
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,430
I'll bet.

325
00:14:25,465 --> 00:14:28,232
So dog or no dog?

326
00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:32,370
Well, how would it work?

327
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:34,272
Where would it live?

328
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,740
Here.

329
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,276
With us.

330
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,912
Oh.

331
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,381
Hello?

332
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:44,916
Out here.

333
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:47,685
(Sighs)

334
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,687
- So dreading this.
- Has to be done.

335
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,022
Right.

336
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,924
Smile. Too many teeth.

337
00:14:52,959 --> 00:14:55,026
All right.

338
00:14:57,764 --> 00:14:59,697
I forgot how beautiful this is.

339
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:01,699
(Laughs)

340
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,612
When were you here?

341
00:15:05,472 --> 00:15:07,636
I'll wait.

342
00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:10,875
Yes, we... Right.

343
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:13,411
And then you came over, and we...

344
00:15:13,446 --> 00:15:16,581
(Chuckles)
Welcome back.

345
00:15:16,616 --> 00:15:17,616
How about some wine?

346
00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:18,883
- Gallons.
- Yes, please.

347
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,284
(Laughs)

348
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,486
All right, we got steaks.

349
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:24,288
There's corn, potatoes.

350
00:15:24,324 --> 00:15:27,058
My mom made her famous tiramisu.

351
00:15:27,093 --> 00:15:30,027
- Your... your mother's here?
- Yeah.

352
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:32,663
She came out last week when
she heard my father might die.

353
00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,932
She wanted a ringside seat.

354
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:36,568
Ma!

355
00:15:37,170 --> 00:15:38,936
Ma!

356
00:15:38,972 --> 00:15:41,506
She hates wearing her hearing aids.

357
00:15:41,541 --> 00:15:42,640
(Shouting loudly)
Ma!

358
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:44,408
Eh, that's okay.

359
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,245
She'll come out when
she smells the meat cooking.

360
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,481
So here's to The Opposite of Us.

361
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:53,117
Here's hoping
it's the opposite of Pucks!

362
00:15:53,152 --> 00:15:54,886
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, absolutely.

363
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:56,521
- Yeah.
- (Chuckles)

364
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:02,460
I'm gonna get the steaks.
I'll be right back.

365
00:16:06,132 --> 00:16:08,032
- His mother's here.
- Fuck.

366
00:16:08,067 --> 00:16:09,388
We can't tell him in front of her.

367
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:11,035
- We can't not tell him.
- I know.

368
00:16:11,070 --> 00:16:14,338
Oh, great,
so now his mother's on the train.

369
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:19,176
I mean,
you're here all the time anyway.

370
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:20,811
- Mm-hmm.
- You could rent your place out.

371
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,246
- Make a few bucks.
- Mmhmm.

372
00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:24,215
- It just makes sense, you know?
- Mm.

373
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:25,283
And I know what you're thinking.

374
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,551
You do?

375
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,019
Everything here is me, me, me, me.

376
00:16:28,054 --> 00:16:29,186
There's no you.

377
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,722
So what I was thinking was,

378
00:16:31,758 --> 00:16:33,658
we get rid of all of my shit

379
00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,927
and redo the whole thing together.

380
00:16:35,962 --> 00:16:38,095
(Laughing)
What?

381
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,797
(Gasps)
That's crazy.

382
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:41,499
No, it's not.
Not if you're gonna live here.

383
00:16:41,534 --> 00:16:43,200
- Or...
- Or?

384
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,769
We buy a whole new place.

385
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,003
(Laughing nervously)

386
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:47,939
Oh, what about the beach?

387
00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,974
Oh, imagine the two of
us coming home from work,

388
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,109
and there's the ocean,
there's the sunset,

389
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,778
and our puppy's waiting for us!

390
00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,047
We're gonna crash.
(Coughs)

391
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:58,482
- What?
- Oh.

392
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,484
I can't do this.

393
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,453
I can't. I'm sorry.

394
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:05,790
It's... it's just... it's too much.

395
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:09,260
- What's too much?
- All of it.

396
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:15,232
I mean, you're the best,
most wonderful person ever.

397
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,134
But don't you think it's all happening

398
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,937
just a little too fast?

399
00:17:19,973 --> 00:17:22,340
Just a...
(Squeaks)

400
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:23,908
Oh.

401
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:25,343
Okay.

402
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,288
I'm sorry.

403
00:17:31,117 --> 00:17:32,350
Oh, no.

404
00:17:32,385 --> 00:17:33,985
Don't apologize. My fault.

405
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:35,953
I just assumed that
you were where I was.

406
00:17:35,989 --> 00:17:40,458
No, no, I am where you are.

407
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:45,463
Just, uh, behind you a ways.

408
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:48,199
Here I am.
(Laughs)

409
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,101
(Groans)
I shouldn't have said anything.

410
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:51,869
No, I'm glad you did.

411
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:55,539
I'd be stuck out at the fucking
beach with some stupid dog.

412
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:58,042
Uh, I think it's just...

413
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:01,112
this whole thing is very new for me.

414
00:18:01,147 --> 00:18:03,581
I mean, every other guy
I've been with...

415
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:06,651
I'm not saying you're a guy.

416
00:18:06,686 --> 00:18:07,752
Mm, thanks.

417
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,353
It's just... it's...

418
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:12,590
It's so different than
anything I've ever...

419
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:15,259
And I don't mean that way.

420
00:18:15,294 --> 00:18:18,229
Believe me, I'm loving all that stuff.

421
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,364
Oh, no, wait.

422
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:25,136
Look, you know I have only
gone out with assholes.

423
00:18:25,171 --> 00:18:28,239
You were married to one of them.

424
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,475
I'm not used to nice.

425
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:35,646
I think I'm just scared

426
00:18:35,682 --> 00:18:40,117
by how much I care about you.

427
00:18:40,153 --> 00:18:44,955
Well, I certainly didn't mean
to scare you.

428
00:18:44,991 --> 00:18:47,391
I know.
(Chuckles)

429
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,927
And I'm sorry I got a little...
(Babbles)

430
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,762
(Both laugh)

431
00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,764
- Come here, scrunch.
- Oh.

432
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,434
- (Laughs)
- Mm.

433
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,737
Oh, I wasn't even gonna say anything.

434
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,639
But then Beverly said...

435
00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,074
Beverly?

436
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:07,642
Oh, Beverly's giving you
advice about us?

437
00:19:08,715 --> 00:19:10,981
Maybe.

438
00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,017
Why?

439
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:15,252
Well, I mean, I know she's your friend,

440
00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:18,856
but I'm not sure she has
our best interests at heart.

441
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,124
No?

442
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:21,826
Well, for one,

443
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:23,561
she's clearly in love with you.

444
00:19:23,596 --> 00:19:26,464
(Laughing)
B-Beverly?

445
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,165
Oh, that's crazy.

446
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,468
She doesn't even like me
most of the time.

447
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,969
Oh, okay.

448
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:36,140
No, she's not into... She's married.

449
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,808
I was married.

450
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,111
Even so, I don't think...

451
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:42,213
Oh, please. Look at her hair.

452
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,353
So what do you think of this?

453
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:53,557
When I'm Riggs,
I've got, like, a beard,

454
00:19:53,593 --> 00:19:56,227
but when I'm Anderson, maybe,

455
00:19:56,262 --> 00:19:59,330
like, a weird wig
or even a bald cap or...

456
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:02,833
Is that too much?

457
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:04,835
I'll tell you what's too much...
this steak.

458
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,605
Oh, my God, you're,
like, a steak savant.

459
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:09,306
(Both chuckle)

460
00:20:09,342 --> 00:20:11,242
Not a lot to it, just meat and fire.

461
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:12,510
(Chuckles)

462
00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:15,079
So what do you think? Bald cap or...

463
00:20:15,114 --> 00:20:16,380
It's a little too soon to...

464
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,082
No, I know, it's just...

465
00:20:18,117 --> 00:20:19,250
I can't stop thinking about it.

466
00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:21,519
Oh, believe me, neither can we.

467
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,854
So you guys still thinking
about Susan Sarandon?

468
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:26,557
'Cause I got to say,
I could totally see that now.

469
00:20:26,592 --> 00:20:27,592
(Sighs)

470
00:20:27,593 --> 00:20:29,093
You know...
(Chuckles)

471
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,962
We don't need to bore
your mother with work talk.

472
00:20:31,998 --> 00:20:34,135
She can't hear anything.

473
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:38,206
Ma, look out, Koreans!

474
00:20:39,172 --> 00:20:40,871
Believe me, if she could hear...

475
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,606
(All chuckle)

476
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:44,708
So Susan Sarandon?

477
00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,644
Where?

478
00:20:46,679 --> 00:20:49,013
That she heard.

479
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:51,208
Well...
(Clears throat)

480
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:54,285
Here's the thing.

481
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,755
(Sighs)

482
00:20:57,790 --> 00:21:02,626
The network is adamant about
not going with "names."

483
00:21:02,662 --> 00:21:04,495
Oh.

484
00:21:04,530 --> 00:21:07,164
Sorry, Susan.
(Chuckles)

485
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,099
So what then, just me and an ensemble?

486
00:21:09,135 --> 00:21:16,056
I'm afraid they are dead set
against any names at all.

487
00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:18,309
Wait, even me?

488
00:21:18,344 --> 00:21:20,110
Across the board.

489
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,112
Even me?

490
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:26,116
We think it's a huge mistake,
but what can you do?

491
00:21:26,152 --> 00:21:27,218
Fight it.

492
00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:28,686
That's what you can do.

493
00:21:28,721 --> 00:21:30,087
It's your show.

494
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,956
You should have a say in who's in it.

495
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:33,457
Don't just roll over.

496
00:21:33,492 --> 00:21:35,025
That's how you got
screwed the last time.

497
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:37,127
- Mm.
- Oh, believe me.

498
00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:39,997
We did not just roll over.

499
00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:42,633
We fought very hard for you.

500
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,602
Very, very hard.

501
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,656
Who's dead?

502
00:21:47,907 --> 00:21:49,907
So who's this coming from?

503
00:21:49,942 --> 00:21:51,675
What's her name? The new Merc?

504
00:21:51,711 --> 00:21:53,577
- Helen, yeah.
- Mm.

505
00:21:53,613 --> 00:21:56,347
What if I sat down with her?
Is she cute?

506
00:21:56,382 --> 00:21:58,082
Maybe there's a card to play there.

507
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:01,318
Trust me,
you are never gonna crack that deck,

508
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:02,653
not even to shuffle.

509
00:22:02,688 --> 00:22:04,655
- No?
- Many Queens.

510
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:07,758
Not so much with the Kings and Jacks.

511
00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:10,227
Got it. All right, forget that.

512
00:22:10,263 --> 00:22:11,263
Let's just call her.

513
00:22:11,264 --> 00:22:12,930
Uh, what? What?

514
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:15,165
Yeah, maybe the three of
us can turn her around.

515
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:17,134
Oh, I'm sure
she's already left the office.

516
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,836
So we'll just call her at home.

517
00:22:18,871 --> 00:22:21,138
What? Easy, Pinot Noir.

518
00:22:21,173 --> 00:22:24,008
- You can't just call her at home.
- Why not?

519
00:22:24,043 --> 00:22:26,619
I'm sure my agent's got her number.

520
00:22:28,447 --> 00:22:29,947
You know, these guys actually like it

521
00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:31,315
when you treat them like people.

522
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,817
But they're not. I agree with Sean.

523
00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:36,854
It would be a big mistake to bother...

524
00:22:36,889 --> 00:22:38,022
Hey, it's Matt.

525
00:22:38,057 --> 00:22:40,958
- Do you have Helen...
- Basch.

526
00:22:40,993 --> 00:22:43,727
...Basch's home phone?
I'm here with Sean and Beverly.

527
00:22:43,763 --> 00:22:46,771
She told them she doesn't
want me in their show.

528
00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:49,433
Really?

529
00:22:49,468 --> 00:22:51,635
Hang on.

530
00:22:51,671 --> 00:22:54,838
He's saying he spoke to her just to see
what kind of money they're thinking,

531
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:58,108
and she didn't even know
you'd offered it to me.

532
00:22:58,144 --> 00:23:01,445
- Well, maybe...
- (Exhales)

533
00:23:03,249 --> 00:23:08,419
He spoke to her before
she spoke with us.

534
00:23:08,454 --> 00:23:10,054
You hear that?

535
00:23:13,090 --> 00:23:14,970
He's saying he talked to her,
like, an hour ago.

536
00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:16,593
- You were here an hour ago.
- Well...

537
00:23:16,629 --> 00:23:20,064
There must be
some logical explanation.

538
00:23:20,099 --> 00:23:23,434
- It could be some kind...
- We can get into it with her

539
00:23:23,469 --> 00:23:24,535
- in the morning.
- ...of sinister network ploy.

540
00:23:24,570 --> 00:23:26,070
Y-yeah.

541
00:23:29,608 --> 00:23:32,209
I'll call you back.

542
00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:33,444
(Phone beeps)

543
00:23:36,315 --> 00:23:38,615
Did you talk to her or not?

544
00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:52,096
Huh.

545
00:23:52,131 --> 00:23:53,764
This is too rare for me.

546
00:23:53,799 --> 00:23:56,746
It looks like it was in a car accident.

547
00:23:57,870 --> 00:23:59,470
I think she's got mine.

548
00:23:59,505 --> 00:24:01,271
Oh, my God.

549
00:24:01,307 --> 00:24:02,506
Please, here, take it.

550
00:24:02,541 --> 00:24:04,408
(Clears throat)

551
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:05,843
Yeah, see?

552
00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:07,144
This one is cooked.

553
00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:10,080
Yes, it is.

554
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:17,955
Do you want me in your show?

555
00:24:17,990 --> 00:24:20,491
We know she'll never go for it.

556
00:24:20,526 --> 00:24:22,926
That's not what I asked.

557
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,805
Do <i>you...</i>

558
00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:28,632
want me in your show?

559
00:24:39,345 --> 00:24:42,646
Then why'd you make me
read the fucking thing?

560
00:24:44,550 --> 00:24:46,683
Clearly I should not have.

561
00:24:52,358 --> 00:24:54,558
We're both so sorry.

562
00:24:54,593 --> 00:24:58,762
(Hacking)

563
00:24:58,798 --> 00:25:01,231
(Spits)

564
00:25:02,902 --> 00:25:04,835
Gristle.

565
00:25:04,870 --> 00:25:07,037
Yes, it is.

566
00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:15,746
Perhaps it would be best if we left.

567
00:25:15,781 --> 00:25:16,914
(Clears throat)

568
00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:17,981
Where are they going?

569
00:25:18,017 --> 00:25:19,483
Where are you going?

570
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:22,719
Um, I'm afraid we have to run,
Mrs. LeBlanc.

571
00:25:22,755 --> 00:25:25,155
- What?
- We have to leave now.

572
00:25:25,191 --> 00:25:26,757
It was so lovely...

573
00:25:26,792 --> 00:25:29,760
Wait, wait.

574
00:25:44,110 --> 00:25:46,777
If you could just tell
your mother good night for us.

575
00:25:46,812 --> 00:25:48,245
Tiramisu.

576
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,013
Oh, no, that's very kind,

577
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:51,410
but I'm afraid we really have to...

578
00:25:51,417 --> 00:25:52,616
I made it.

579
00:25:52,651 --> 00:25:54,118
No, no, I-I know you did, but...

580
00:25:54,153 --> 00:25:55,619
It looks delicious,
but we really must...

581
00:25:55,654 --> 00:25:57,054
Enjoy.

582
00:26:11,270 --> 00:26:12,270
Mmm, it's brilliant.

583
00:26:12,304 --> 00:26:15,439
Mmm, this is such a treat.

584
00:26:23,749 --> 00:26:28,418
- We will remember this forever.
- Mm.

585
00:26:35,561 --> 00:26:38,028
- Well, that was glorious.
- More?

586
00:26:38,063 --> 00:26:39,429
- No. No, thank you.
- No, no. No, no.

587
00:26:39,465 --> 00:26:40,631
Um...
(Clears throat)

588
00:26:40,666 --> 00:26:43,100
All right then, so, uh...

589
00:26:43,135 --> 00:26:45,435
We... we're off.

590
00:26:47,673 --> 00:26:49,006
Um...

591
00:26:49,041 --> 00:26:53,510
Again, we could not regret this more.

592
00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:00,385
We'll see you tomorrow.

593
00:27:00,386 --> 00:27:02,085
So sorry.

594
00:27:07,726 --> 00:27:11,028
- Very sorry.
- So poorly handled.

595
00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:17,000
Thank you for having us.

596
00:27:21,271 --> 00:27:23,151
- We must do this again.
- What is wrong with you?

597
00:27:23,175 --> 00:27:24,508
I don't know.

598
00:27:31,438 --> 00:27:33,676
They seem nice.

599
00:27:34,755 --> 00:27:37,294
Sync & corrections by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com