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Building a business from
the ground up is difficult.
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From filing permits
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to picking the right Georgia O'Keeffe
poster for your waiting room,
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the process can be overwhelming.
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Especially when you have to
constantly supervise your hired help
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because they get
so easily distracted.
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No, no, no! Ah!
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Ow. Oh, God.
Okay, I'm sorry.
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Plus, ironically, burning
the candle at both ends
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leaves almost no time
for your personal flames.
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Here you go, babe. Aw,
thank you, sweetheart.
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I've also learned that even when you
seek friendly advice from business pros,
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they can feel threatened
by your talent.
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Kris Jenner! Hi.
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My name is Mindy Lahiri. I started
the Lahiri Fertility Clinic.
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Again?
How did she get in here?
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Please, please. Your womb
is a national treasure!
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If you could just tweet
about my clinic!
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But at the end of the day, there
is nothing more satisfying
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than seeing the results
of all of your hard work.
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Okay, get to it, babe.
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Are you guys ready?
Hell, yeah.
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I've been ready
since I woke up here.
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The Lahiri Fertility Clinic has
purchased some primo advertising space
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in a very cool spot
for movers and shakers.
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Ta-da!
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Okay. Sir?
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Sir? I'm obviously trying to unveil
something. Could you please move?
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Thank you. Thank you.
Ta-da!
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"We got you, girl!"
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I canceled cardio-ballet
for this?
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Doesn't that just make you want to
come and get impregnated by me?
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Is that even you, Dr. L?
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The eyes on that woman
are hella blue.
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Tamra, I have told you
a million times,
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my eyes photograph blue.
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She has blue eyes, Tamra.
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You look like a werewolf.
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I once knew a werewolf.
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Can I fix it
with a sharpie?
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Can I get one
for my bedroom?
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I am so professionally
excited this morning.
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I have to doff my cap
to Dr. Adrian Bergdahl,
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who has done more procedures this week
than all the other doctors combined.
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It is amazing what you
can accomplish
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when you don't spend an hour
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planning your two-hour
lunch break.
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I think it's really cool
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that Dr. Bergdahl
is able to do his one job
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while also not being pregnant.
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Meanwhile, in addition
to my responsibilities here,
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I have started my own business.
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The Lahiri Fertility Center.
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Yes, we know. You made
us all buy merch.
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I just want to say,
I love the color.
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This is the longest I've ever
gone without being hit by a car.
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The setup over there is sick.
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My patients are like,
"Are we at a spa?"
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I mean, they will say that
once I get my first patient.
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Yeah. I think we should send
all our referrals her way.
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Well, that sounds
like favoritism but,
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there is a kernel
of truth in it.
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And I would like
to take this opportunity...
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Oh!
...to invite all of you
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to our grand opening gala.
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There is a dress code. It's "risqué
red carpet." Have fun with it.
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But take it seriously, okay?
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If you come looking like crap,
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you're going to leave
looking like crap
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because I'm not gonna
let you in.
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Excuse me, everyone.
I have an interruption.
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Morgan, Beverly, and I
are doing a walk-a-thon
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to raise money for a problem
that affects us all.
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Nurse obesity.
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What? You're all skinny
as hell!
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Yeah, due to poverty.
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We're looking to raise $250,000,
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so it would be great if I could
put each of the doctors down
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for 50,000 to start.
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50,000?
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Hey, Dr. Bergdahl, I feel like you're not
giving us your undivided attention here.
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Oh, I'm sorry you feel that way.
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It's just that I don't
care about this at all.
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Hey, hey, hold up. Let me just
tell you how this office works.
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An office is a family.
No, a family is a family.
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And between my beautiful wife and
my kids, who look more like me,
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my plate is full
with my own business.
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Okay, fine, we get it. You're
rich and you own a plate.
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Now if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
No, my bagels.
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Those are my bagels. Hey! Those bagels
are Morgan's weekend food. Hello!
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Let him have them.
I'll starve to death
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and my death will thaw
his icy heart.
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Can you see it?
He took the bagels.
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Yes. Dr. Bergdahl is
gruff and he is rude,
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but you know who else is?
Chris Christie.
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And he's our vice president.
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Well, I can't handle
being treated like dirt.
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That's why I quit my dream job doing
customer service at the cable company.
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If I can tolerate
dress-sneakers at the Met,
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you can tolerate
a prickly doctor,
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who happens to be
our best worker.
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The guy stinks.
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And that's coming from a man who sleeps
with a dozen wet dogs every night.
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Danny, Jeremy...
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They're not completely wrong
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and we cannot have our entire
support staff up and quit.
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That's how we ended up
with these guys. What?
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Hey, I'm slammed. Can one of
you nurses make me a sandwich?
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Nothing fancy. Just ham,
mustard, avocado.
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Anybody else want anything?
Nurses are making sandwiches.
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Do I look like I work
at Au Bon Pain?
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Fine.
I'll talk to him.
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Will you quit snoozing?
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Hey, hey, hey. Hey!
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Ah. Oh.
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We have our first patient.
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Oh, God. Okay. How do I look?
Do I have drool?
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Relax. You've never looked more beautiful.
How do I look?
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Nobody cares.
Just send her in.
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This way.
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Ta-da!
Welcome.
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Please have a seat.
Thank you.
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So are you accompanying your
daughter to her appointment?
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No, I don't have a daughter. That's
where you come in, sweetheart.
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Morgan, we've been
pranked again.
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Prankster?
Yeah.
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Think it's funny
to prank us, huh?
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Wait, I don't understand this.
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Yeah, I bet
you don't understand.
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Get out of here. Get your ass up.
Come on.
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I've never been so insulted.
You're done for the day.
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You are in big trouble.
And I love older women.
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It's nice
to see you, Dr. Castellano.
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I'm really glad to hear
you're moving forward
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with your fertility treatment.
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Why don't you have a seat
inside and we'll get started?
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Now, of course, there's a variety of
top-notch specialists here in Manhattan.
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Excuse me a second.
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Top-notch specialists
right here in Manhattan.
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Ripped By mstoll
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Where were we?
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Psst! Pamphlet.
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Pamphlet.
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I left a pamphlet.
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Get away from the door.
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Are you...
Are you okay?
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There's a cold going around
the office here. Oh.
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Dr. Mindy Lahiri,
for instance,
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opened up a fertility practice
right here on this floor.
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And she just finished
a fellowship at Stanford.
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Interesting. Has she helped lot
of your patients get pregnant?
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Uh... She's a very
experienced OB/GYN.
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Okay. So she has helped
patients get pregnant?
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She has helped them be pregnant.
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What... What does
that mean?
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No.
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She hasn't had any fertility
patients of her own.
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Well, thank you so much.
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Thank you.
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Hey. So when does she want
to make an appointment?
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I'm supposed to see a psychic
about my missing shoe,
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but I think
I can move that around.
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Babe, I told her all about you.
You're the best.
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And she wanted me to recommend
a more established practice
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and she went with them.
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What?
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Wait. Wait, wait. Wait. Stop.
Stop, okay? Look.
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What was I supposed
to say to the woman
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when she asked me how many
patients you got pregnant?
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Do you want me to lie? I
lie for you all the time.
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Remember when I told
that cop at the park
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that we were just two
male friends wrestling.
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That's different. I mean, this
whole thing, this is professional.
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Look, I believe in you, but
you're just getting started.
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Would you get your hair cut by
Vito's trainee, Little Vito?
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No, you go to Vito!
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Are you comparing my practice to
Little Vito, the barber trainee?
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This is my dream and you're
supposed to be helping me.
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Look, I'll make you
a salad tonight, right.
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Kale, grilled chicken,
a little asparagus.
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You love my corn on the cob, right?
A salad?
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I thought you were going
to buy me some jewelry.
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I actually don't have time because
I have to go work on my practice
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because I'm not getting
any help at all.
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Babe, come on!
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Little Vito's going to be
a great barber someday.
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Adrian, have you seen...
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Oh, that's bad.
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Oh, wow.
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Would you look at this?
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I got an extra deodorant
in my two-for-one deal.
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It's from the Al Pacino fragrance
line, "Scent of a Man."
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Nah, I'm good, man.
I couldn't even handle it
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when my wife put potpourri
in the bathroom.
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00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:48,959
But luckily, the stupid cat ate it and
that solved two problems at once.
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Hey. Whew!
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Yeah. Hi, Adrian. I
wanted to talk to you.
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The support staff have been
complaining about you.
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00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,174
Oh, really?
They complained to you?
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00:07:58,244 --> 00:08:00,735
Maybe the best thing would be
to take them out for a chat.
201
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,838
Yeah. Take them out for
coffee or deodorant.
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00:08:02,915 --> 00:08:05,383
I am so, so sorry
you had to get involved.
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00:08:05,451 --> 00:08:06,918
I'm on it.
All right, pal.
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00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,317
Okay. Take care.
Have a great day.
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00:08:10,857 --> 00:08:12,620
I haven't
called my lawyer yet,
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00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,091
but you put a sub-sandwich
in the fridge
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00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,286
and you label it...
Hey!
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You got a problem with me
you bring it to me.
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I did not become an OB/GYN just to
deal with a bunch of whiny babies.
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Don't be coming in here
yelling at us.
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00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,491
You don't even talk to us.
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00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:26,237
Yeah, do you even know
what my job is?
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00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:29,536
I mean, I definitely know it, I just
want to hear someone else say it.
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00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:31,440
Dr. B, we're willing
to overlook this incident
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00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,446
if you are willing to make a sizable
donation to our fundraiser.
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00:08:34,747 --> 00:08:36,977
Yeah, I'll donate to
your fundraiser. Yes!
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00:08:37,149 --> 00:08:39,140
From the cold depths
of an icy hell!
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00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,344
- No! No!
- Come on!
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I don't know how much
we've raised now.
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Okay, calm down. You need to fire Dr.
Bergdahl.
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Yeah. Either he goes or we go.
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Fine. I'll talk to him.
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In fairness, he does seem
genuinely disturbed.
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I don't feel safe.
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00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,262
Ugh!
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00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:04,272
Oh, this stinks, Morgan.
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00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:05,833
No, they smell like feet.
It's fine.
228
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:07,812
What is to become of me?
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00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,211
My modeling days are over.
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00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:10,544
You got nice feet.
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00:09:10,616 --> 00:09:14,279
You could pose these on some
decent foot fetish websites.
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00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,617
Thank you. That's the nicest
thing anyone's ever said to me.
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00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,850
You're welcome. If only
I knew but one couple
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that was having
fertility problems.
235
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:23,919
Ugh! Why are all my friends
glamorous and 21 years old?
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00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:25,622
Oh, my God!
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00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:27,131
I know just the person.
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00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:29,827
Okay. I'm pregnant. I know.
You gotta be careful, girl.
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00:09:30,002 --> 00:09:31,492
I'm... Okay.
I actually know someone
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00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,663
who could really use your help.
241
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:36,036
He and his girlfriend have been having
a very hard time getting pregnant.
242
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,470
That's so great!
243
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,477
The best part is,
is you already know them.
244
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,005
No. No.
245
00:09:42,949 --> 00:09:43,938
My sperms are bad.
246
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:45,344
I'm sorry to hear that,
Cousin Lou.
247
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:47,542
It took a lot of courage for
me to come in here today.
248
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:50,081
Usually that's something
that I say but...
249
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:51,789
I think it's because
he always refuses
250
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,290
to wear the apron
at the dentist.
251
00:09:53,392 --> 00:09:56,088
My reasoning is that
aprons are for girls
252
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:59,029
and it's ironic that in
trying not to be a girl,
253
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,622
I became less of a man.
254
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:04,199
I'm not an orthodontist, but I
wouldn't be too hard on yourself.
255
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:05,802
I have a tendency to do that.
256
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:08,396
I'm going to do whatever
I can to help you.
257
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,770
I can't believe I'm gonna be
a first cousin once removed.
258
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:16,205
Now, before I hand over the Tookers family
jewels to pay for my new testicles,
259
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:19,147
I need to know, you have
done this before, yes?
260
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:23,250
This? Lou! I'm offended
you even asked.
261
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:24,311
Obviously.
262
00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:28,257
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry. I'm
just doing my dude diligence.
263
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:30,261
And Sandra is doing
her chick diligence.
264
00:10:30,529 --> 00:10:33,657
Now, may we ask, how have your
patients fared in the past?
265
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,400
My patients will have
done very well.
266
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:38,770
Wait a second. Did you just
use the future pluperfect?
267
00:10:38,938 --> 00:10:40,496
I was a substitute
English teacher.
268
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:44,700
Yes. Technically, I have
not had a patient yet.
269
00:10:44,977 --> 00:10:47,844
Okay, Sandra, we're just going to have
to figure out another way to get a baby.
270
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:50,245
Well, there's that drunk nanny down
at the park that always falls asleep.
271
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:51,840
I mean, look, if Mindy can't
get someone pregnant...
272
00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:53,111
Wait, wait, wait.
Stop, stop, stop.
273
00:10:53,185 --> 00:10:56,621
Um, what if I told you
that I got myself pregnant?
274
00:10:57,456 --> 00:10:59,981
Yeah, Danny and I are expecting.
275
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:03,892
Wait, you were having problems
with fertility just like us?
276
00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:05,730
Yeah. Just like you.
277
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:06,787
And now we're doing great.
278
00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,163
Well, if you can get
yourself pregnant,
279
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:09,895
then that's good enough
for us. We're in!
280
00:11:09,969 --> 00:11:11,493
Really?
281
00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:13,629
I mean, uh, great!
My first patient.
282
00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:17,107
To think Dr. Castellano
shooting blanks just like me.
283
00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:18,973
Yep. His sperm's no good either.
284
00:11:21,847 --> 00:11:24,213
Now, of course I will have to
pay for this in installments,
285
00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,478
but if it's good enough for the
Puerto Rican guy at the couch store,
286
00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:28,713
it's good enough for you, I assume.
Okay, time to go.
287
00:11:28,788 --> 00:11:29,948
Thank you.
Bye!
288
00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:32,115
Our first patient!
289
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:33,848
Hey. Come here. Come here.
Wow. First...
290
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:35,518
Ow! My ear! My ear!
Over here. Over here.
291
00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:39,189
Come on! How could you tell Cousin Lou
that Dr. C has issues with infertility?
292
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,324
When I signed on to to be a
partner at this practice...
293
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,560
Okay, you are not a partner.
294
00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:45,069
You are a handyman and you're
not even good at that.
295
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,037
Oh, my God!
Oh, ho, ho, ho!
296
00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:49,233
Stop. Stop.
Get off of me.
297
00:11:49,308 --> 00:11:51,799
For the last time, you cannot jump
into my arms when you are surprised.
298
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,141
Okay, look, I can't be party to any
kind of deception around here.
299
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:57,546
Okay, yes. I let a white lie
go a little too far. Yeah.
300
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,116
But Danny never needs to know.
301
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,982
Okay. You have to come clean
and be mature because...
302
00:12:02,054 --> 00:12:03,851
Oh, my God!
303
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,289
I am so glad we are
getting rid of Dr. Bergdahl.
304
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:08,292
That guy better not ask me to
write him a recommendation.
305
00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,156
I mean, I will but...
306
00:12:10,229 --> 00:12:11,821
Wait a minute.
What the hell is that?
307
00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:14,955
It's Dr. B!
308
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,390
Oh, my God.
Is he dead?
309
00:12:16,602 --> 00:12:18,661
All his clothes
are hanging in the backseat.
310
00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:21,001
He's grumpy all the time
and he smells bad.
311
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:22,438
Dude is living out of his car.
312
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:24,567
That's why his hoarding
the bagels. He's broke.
313
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:27,111
And thanks to us, Dr.
Reed's going to fire him.
314
00:12:27,179 --> 00:12:29,272
Gosh, I've never felt
this guilty before.
315
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,975
And I'm the one who told de Blasio
not to care what the po-po thinks.
316
00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:33,708
We need...
Whoa.
317
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:34,775
Really?
318
00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,966
Can you believe the turnout
at this party? Oh, yeah.
319
00:12:56,041 --> 00:12:57,702
There's more people here
than were at my trial.
320
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,369
I placed an ad
for the clinic on Goop.
321
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,639
My God, that's a great idea!
322
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,544
It cost 10 grand.
Would've paid 20.
323
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,606
What? Relax. Don't worry.
We'll expense it.
324
00:13:04,817 --> 00:13:06,114
I pay for the expenses.
325
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,812
You and I are the only two
people that work here.
326
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:09,582
You gotta take this up
with business affairs.
327
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:10,713
I'm business affairs!
328
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,655
I'm going to get you
some lobster. Chill out.
329
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,983
You got lobster?
Eh...
330
00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:16,416
Okay.
331
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:18,557
Hey, Dan. Hey.
Hey.
332
00:13:18,931 --> 00:13:21,331
Hey, look, man, I always knew
that we were close friends,
333
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,231
but I always used to think
that all we had in common
334
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,065
were good looks
and brain smarts.
335
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,197
You're Lou, right?
Yeah. Hey, look man.
336
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,640
We can do anything
that regular guys can do.
337
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,105
Yeah, I never thought
I couldn't.
338
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:33,304
That's the spirit, chief.
339
00:13:33,379 --> 00:13:36,246
Hey, you know what? You and me gonna
grab a couple of motorcycles,
340
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,374
file off the serial numbers,
head down to Baja,
341
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:39,644
see what kind of trouble
we can get into.
342
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:41,720
A couple of masculine
guys like us, right?
343
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:44,856
Uh... Maybe you should leave
that sort of thing for Morgan.
344
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:47,152
No, no, no. He wouldn't
understand our situation.
345
00:13:47,359 --> 00:13:49,156
You and I, we're cousins now.
346
00:13:49,929 --> 00:13:51,294
Cousin Dan.
347
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:53,092
Hey, Cousin Dan.
348
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:01,936
This is so exciting. When I heard your
story, I had to come see for myself.
349
00:14:02,575 --> 00:14:05,567
A pregnant Indian-American woman
starting her own business,
350
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,942
I'm hoping that they do a
documentary series about me.
351
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:12,143
I mean, it's so brave that your boyfriend
is so public about his problem.
352
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:16,351
Most men would be mortified.
Yeah.
353
00:14:21,961 --> 00:14:22,950
Go. Go. Go. Go.
354
00:14:23,395 --> 00:14:24,726
Hey.
Hey. There you are.
355
00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:26,726
When we told you
to fire Dr. Bergdahl,
356
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,767
you weren't dumb enough to
listen to us, were you?
357
00:14:28,834 --> 00:14:30,495
Yeah. You cannot
fire Dr. B.
358
00:14:30,569 --> 00:14:33,629
You insisted that I fire
him, so I fired him.
359
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,264
Oh! Damn it!
360
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:38,333
You really stepped in it now. Do you
know the guy is living in his car?
361
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,205
Yeah. Just goes to show you,
hot guys have problems, too.
362
00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,646
What are you talking about?
He is living in squalor.
363
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,910
He's a total "Beverly."
364
00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:47,578
I didn't want to get rid
of him in the first place,
365
00:14:47,653 --> 00:14:49,245
but if you want
to hire him back,
366
00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:51,255
please, go hire him back.
Yes! Go.
367
00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,185
Can we hire anyone, or just him?
368
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:56,194
Just him! Just him.
Okay.
369
00:14:59,465 --> 00:15:02,457
Everybody, excuse me. I'm sorry...
I'm sorry to interrupt the night.
370
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:05,570
Just gather around just a minute.
Grab a glass.
371
00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:07,495
It's a really, really
important night
372
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:08,904
and I just want
to say a few words
373
00:15:08,974 --> 00:15:11,408
about an honest, hardworking woman.
Sorry. Excuse me.
374
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:12,944
Hey. You don't need
to do this.
375
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:14,034
In fact, I think we should go.
376
00:15:14,146 --> 00:15:15,135
This party is lame as hell.
377
00:15:15,214 --> 00:15:16,681
Hey, babe. No, no, no.
No, no, no.
378
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,614
I want to take this opportunity
379
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:21,482
to congratulate the mother
of my child, Mindy Lahiri.
380
00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:25,421
How she pulled this off all on
her own, I can't even conceive.
381
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,383
Oh, no. That was then.
You can now.
382
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:31,918
She didn't need me. This all started
with this guy in San Francisco.
383
00:15:31,997 --> 00:15:33,225
Actually,
he was a friend of mine.
384
00:15:33,365 --> 00:15:34,730
Oh, God.
Very cool.
385
00:15:34,833 --> 00:15:37,802
She came back. Boom. The seed was planted.
Okay, that's good.
386
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:39,895
Thank you very much, honey.
Those were such great words.
387
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:42,133
Why don't you go wait in the
elevator and grab our coats?
388
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:44,141
Okay. Well, I'm not... I'm
not actually done talking.
389
00:15:44,209 --> 00:15:46,040
I just want to say
a few more things.
390
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:47,940
I'm honored
to sit on the sidelines
391
00:15:48,013 --> 00:15:50,811
and I'll sit on the sidelines
as she grows and grows
392
00:15:50,883 --> 00:15:52,817
and I watch her
and she's growing.
393
00:15:53,052 --> 00:15:55,213
You're a good man. I would
like to make a toast.
394
00:15:56,488 --> 00:15:57,978
Just pop this out here.
395
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:00,685
Watch out, guys. This
thing's going to pop.
396
00:16:02,227 --> 00:16:04,024
Aw.
397
00:16:04,096 --> 00:16:05,085
You gotta be kidding me.
398
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,557
That's funny. I just popped the
cork and nothing came out.
399
00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:09,493
Don't worry.
Happens to the best of us.
400
00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:10,592
To Mindy Lahiri.
401
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,868
- Salud.
- Mindy.
402
00:16:12,938 --> 00:16:14,872
You want me to say anything else?
No, no. That's great. Yeah.
403
00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:17,408
Okay. All right. Thank you. Go to the
corner. Don't talk to anybody again.
404
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:21,412
I want to encourage everyone here
to, you know, keep to themselves
405
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,881
and maybe not talk about things
like who impregnated who
406
00:16:24,950 --> 00:16:27,316
or who is infertile
and who isn't.
407
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:28,986
Mindy said I what?
408
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:32,950
Oh, God.
409
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,185
Everything works fine.
Better than fine, okay?
410
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:38,889
I got her pregnant
all by myself.
411
00:16:38,964 --> 00:16:40,898
You know what? It was a
total accident. Danny.
412
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:43,662
Everything I know about your
reproductive health is a lie.
413
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:44,794
Okay, that's a little
dramatic, Lou.
414
00:16:45,070 --> 00:16:46,901
I took a drama class at the Y.
415
00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:48,200
Does everybody here
want to hear the story
416
00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:49,297
of how it happened
with me and Mindy?
417
00:16:49,375 --> 00:16:50,740
I'll tell you how it happened.
418
00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,571
It was a beautifully
romantic night.
419
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,177
He made me a gorgeous
candlelit dinner
420
00:16:55,414 --> 00:16:58,349
and then holding my hand,
he took my virginity,
421
00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:00,281
and that's how I became
pregnant with this little guy.
422
00:17:00,352 --> 00:17:02,183
No, it was New Year's Eve.
Times Square.
423
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:03,721
Mindy and I are there
and I'm feeling good
424
00:17:03,789 --> 00:17:05,552
'cause I just estimated
my tax returns.
425
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:08,625
She's got the 2015 glasses
on and she looks hot. Wow.
426
00:17:08,694 --> 00:17:11,959
The next thing you know, we're knocking
boots under the Lion King billboard.
427
00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:14,224
I guess we were a little "Hakuna
Matata" about protection.
428
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:15,357
I should have
been more "Matata."
429
00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,361
Unbelievable.
430
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:19,101
I'm gonna get a slice.
431
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,640
You know what?
You're a real scumbag
432
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:24,835
and that's coming from me.
433
00:17:25,477 --> 00:17:27,138
Let's get out of here.
434
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:28,201
Well...
435
00:17:31,150 --> 00:17:32,276
No, no, no, no.
436
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,116
We're too late.
437
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,253
That's how grandma looked when she
swallowed her tongue. We gotta save him.
438
00:17:37,489 --> 00:17:38,922
Ah!
439
00:17:39,191 --> 00:17:40,385
- What the hell?
- Oh, my God.
440
00:17:40,459 --> 00:17:41,517
I didn't do it.
I didn't do it.
441
00:17:44,596 --> 00:17:45,585
What are you doing?
442
00:17:45,664 --> 00:17:47,359
You get me fired,
you break my window,
443
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:49,264
and then you wake me up
from a good dream?
444
00:17:49,501 --> 00:17:51,264
I got hit by a city snowplow
445
00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:53,270
and I was living off
the settlement money, man.
446
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:54,965
It was like a dream come true.
447
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:57,804
Look, Dr. Bergdahl, we're
not here to antagonize you.
448
00:17:58,110 --> 00:17:59,475
We actually got you rehired.
449
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:02,070
Also, we've decided
to be our most Oprah-selves
450
00:18:02,147 --> 00:18:04,411
and we're going to give you all
of our fundraiser money. What?
451
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,977
Come on. You're actually
going to give me $250,000?
452
00:18:08,053 --> 00:18:11,750
Oh, no way. It's $187, but the
gesture's just as generous.
453
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,653
Also, all the money's pledged
so if you really want it,
454
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:16,751
you'll probably have to call and follow up
with people. It's... It's very nice of you
455
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:17,989
but I can't accept it.
456
00:18:18,063 --> 00:18:19,496
Hey, why don't
you stay at Dr. L's?
457
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,556
She has an apartment
she doesn't even use.
458
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:23,260
Hey, can I ask you
a random question?
459
00:18:23,335 --> 00:18:26,065
Why would a successful doctor
need to sleep in a car?
460
00:18:26,405 --> 00:18:30,034
I'm kind of on the outs
with my wife, Alice.
461
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:31,707
That's why I'm not
staying at my place
462
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,938
and, yes, I could probably
go get a place of my own,
463
00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:37,675
but I feel like that would
kind of be admitting
464
00:18:37,749 --> 00:18:39,944
that my marital problems
are more than just temporary.
465
00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:41,883
So, that's it.
That's all my dirt.
466
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,353
You got it all.
So I hope you're happy.
467
00:18:43,422 --> 00:18:46,186
My turn. Pretty sure
my grandmother's my mom.
468
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:47,850
No. I don't need
to hear this, really.
469
00:18:47,926 --> 00:18:51,418
But I do want to apologize to
you, Tonya, and you too, Mervin,
470
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:52,723
and especially you, Madison.
471
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:55,628
Well, it's about time
you learned our names.
472
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,324
No.
473
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,839
Adrian's coming.
474
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:08,276
Hey, Mindy. I've been
thinking, and I've decided
475
00:19:08,347 --> 00:19:10,315
I'm going to give all my
patients the hard sell
476
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:11,872
to go to your
fertility practice.
477
00:19:11,950 --> 00:19:12,939
Really?
478
00:19:13,352 --> 00:19:15,377
Is it because
in your short time here,
479
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:18,352
I've become kind of
a mentor to you?
480
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:19,446
What? No.
481
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,983
It's because you have an
apartment you never use.
482
00:19:22,060 --> 00:19:24,620
So you let me crash there,
I give you patients.
483
00:19:24,763 --> 00:19:26,128
Ooh, horse-trading.
484
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:29,896
We're like two fat-cat politicians
smoking cigars in a political cartoon.
485
00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:33,327
You know, I do have a sash
that says "Wall Street."
486
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:34,597
Yeah, do we have a deal?
487
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,868
Yeah, we have a deal.
488
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,407
You can stay at my apartment
as long as you want.
489
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,772
And you can use
whatever you like.
490
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,545
You know, TV, my shower,
my stereo, my shower.
491
00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:47,642
I get it. I get it.
492
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:50,318
There's a spy cam in the shower.
Don't worry.
493
00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:51,686
Oh, I'll put on a show.
494
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,625
Hey, I made
your favorite dessert.
495
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,725
Cut up apple. I don't
like apples anymore.
496
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:05,494
My friends all know that.
497
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:09,265
Okay, that's obviously not true. I saw
you eating an apple earlier today.
498
00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:12,333
Look, I'm sorry.
499
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:14,106
How could you spread lies
about my guy?
500
00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:16,169
My guy's the best.
501
00:20:16,415 --> 00:20:18,212
Sweetheart, I am really,
really sorry.
502
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,653
To think that I spoke ill of an organ
that has brought so much happiness
503
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:24,882
to me and other women...
Too many women.
504
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:26,948
Oh, God. Why did I
go down this path?
505
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:28,315
You know, I...
506
00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:31,529
It's just this new practice
makes me nervous.
507
00:20:31,630 --> 00:20:34,895
I mean, we're both
always really busy,
508
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,401
but I could always
see you at work
509
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:41,204
and now I can't count
on that anymore.
510
00:20:45,410 --> 00:20:49,073
Well, if you want to see more
of me, I have some good news.
511
00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:50,570
What?
512
00:20:51,516 --> 00:20:52,778
I think I'm ready to move in.
513
00:20:54,019 --> 00:20:55,008
You are?
514
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,691
That's fantastic.
515
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:02,385
That's fantastic.
516
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:04,120
Do you really want to move in
517
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:06,391
or is this just an excuse
not to clean your place?
518
00:21:06,932 --> 00:21:08,490
Uh, it's a little bit of both.
Okay.
519
00:21:08,567 --> 00:21:10,535
But I found a perfect tenant.
520
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:12,593
He stinks real bad and
he doesn't pay rent.
521
00:21:12,804 --> 00:21:13,793
Bergdahl.
Mmm-hmm.
522
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:17,934
Now, what do you think about us
having a housewarming party,
523
00:21:18,010 --> 00:21:20,274
even though I'm just moving
into my boyfriend's apartment?
524
00:21:20,345 --> 00:21:21,334
Absolutely not.
525
00:21:21,413 --> 00:21:23,608
We have to rethink
the decor in here.
526
00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:26,012
I was thinking Arabian Nights.
527
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:27,779
No, no.
Too political.
528
00:21:27,853 --> 00:21:30,117
Okay. Moulin Rouge?
No.
529
00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:32,055
Romeo + Juliet?
Nope.
530
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,592
Great Gatsby? Okay,
enough with Baz Luhrmann.
531
00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:45,500
Ripped By mstoll