1 00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:03,758 In today's society 2 00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:07,011 of socioeconomic disparity and global terrorism, 3 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:10,344 being a ripped dude has never been more important. 4 00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:15,024 That's why, with DeMamp Camps' muscle perplexation technique, 5 00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:18,648 I guarantee I'll get you ripped. 6 00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,604 DeMamp Camp! Go! 7 00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:22,030 Go! 8 00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,278 Go. Sorry. 9 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:27,862 If you need a modifier 10 00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,868 'cause your body's shaped like a bowl of porridge, 11 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,369 check out Ders, 12 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:33,200 and if you're weak like your great-grandma, 13 00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:34,375 peep Blake. 14 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,704 DeMamp Camp! Come on. 15 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:38,835 - Dig in... - Whoa. 16 00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,837 What are you talking about? I have an awesome body. 17 00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:42,042 In the right light, 18 00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,672 I have the little things that Usher has. 19 00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:45,004 No, your body is awesome, Blake, 20 00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:46,304 but you don't work for it, okay? 21 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,053 So, your muscles look good, 22 00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:49,883 but you actually can't use them 23 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,685 to tow a car with your teeth. 24 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,138 Well, my body is the normal shape of an aging mesomorph, 25 00:00:54,221 --> 00:00:55,393 so, you got to change these lines. 26 00:00:55,472 --> 00:00:56,724 You have tits, 27 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,150 and I can't change these lines, 28 00:00:58,225 --> 00:00:59,898 and I'm not gonna cut anything out, 29 00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:03,948 Volume Two has no cuts. 30 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,569 If you don't change the hurtful things 31 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:06,775 that you just said about us, 32 00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:09,156 I'm off the project. 33 00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,580 No one's gonna buy DVDs from a nobody 34 00:01:11,655 --> 00:01:13,578 that's out of shape and has a face 35 00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,000 that looks like someone took a bunch 36 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:16,918 of skin-colored Play-Doh and just went... 37 00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,002 - We're off the project. - We're off the project. 38 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,503 You said that. Yeah, you already said that. 39 00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,926 It doesn't matter. 40 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,298 I actually have an awesome face, so, that... 41 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:28,256 It doesn't even hurt my feelings. 42 00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:30,340 ...deep and find yourself. 43 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,846 Don't worry. 44 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:33,848 We'll make this work, you sweet prince. 45 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:36,305 Bitch, are you talking to yourself? 46 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:39,187 Yeah, I am, okay? 47 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,064 Could you give us the room? 48 00:01:41,300 --> 00:01:47,000 Ripped By mstoll 49 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,655 I'm fresh 50 00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,612 You gotta, you gotta you gotta, gotta 51 00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,493 Gotta be fresh 52 00:01:58,910 --> 00:02:00,082 I don't care. 53 00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,791 - Time to give Blake a donut. - Nah. No, thank you. 54 00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,797 I do not eat that junk anymore. 55 00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,298 - What do you mean? - Check it out. 56 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:11,757 Look what I made. It's a weed protein bar. 57 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,935 - I call it a dro-tein bar. - Dude, looks pretty gross. 58 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,262 Yeah, it looks really gross. 59 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,439 Is it because you're embarrassed 60 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,390 about how weak you were when you saw yourself 61 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,475 in the video? 62 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,731 - Hmm? - Yeah. 63 00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,278 What you said really hurt my feelings, 64 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,856 but I don't like to exercise, 65 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,736 so I'm gonna just eat until I'm strong. 66 00:02:28,815 --> 00:02:30,158 - Good for you. - Yeah. 67 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,701 That's actually not a bad... 68 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,038 Jillian, get this the F out of the way, please. 69 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,161 - Yup. - When have I ever talked behind... 70 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,083 - Just thought it'd be cool. - A pedestal. 71 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:41,161 - I got it. - Yeah. 72 00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:43,838 - I don't want... - No, I got it. 73 00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:47,259 Okay, the TelAmeriCorp blood drive. 74 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,553 Why should you donate? Corporate set up a competition. 75 00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:52,051 The branch that donates the most pints of blood 76 00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,256 wins a visit from... 77 00:02:53,340 --> 00:02:54,637 Jillian, get the cutout. 78 00:02:54,716 --> 00:02:55,842 - Oh, now? - Now. 79 00:02:58,095 --> 00:03:02,566 Wins a visit from action hero Dolph Lundgren. 80 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,854 Ivan Drago. Oh, my God. 81 00:03:06,937 --> 00:03:09,190 Question. Dude, stop it. 82 00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:12,196 Why does Dolph Lundgren want to do some dumb health 83 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,527 blood thing with us? 84 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:14,611 Oh, I don't know. 85 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,244 Maybe 'cause he's a decent person who wants to contribute to society. 86 00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:18,869 That's so Dolph of him. 87 00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:20,872 Anyway, we're the last branch to donate. 88 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,373 That pig Steve in Tarzana 89 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,580 thinks his 29-pint lead will hold, 90 00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:27,041 but I'd love to man-splain to him that he lost. 91 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,343 You guys, I've got a question that I've wanted to ask Dolph 92 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,216 since I was, like, a child, 93 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,887 and the answer could change everything. 94 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,886 Shut up, 'cause I'm freaking realizing 95 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,217 a great idea. 96 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,222 He could be the costar to my main star 97 00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,269 Volume Two, right? 98 00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:42,097 You're making another DeMamp Camp? 99 00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:44,023 That copy of Volume One you gave me 100 00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,227 changed my life. 101 00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:49,062 Bikini season can't come soon enough. 102 00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,274 Okay, first off, ew, and second of all, 103 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,529 we can hear you, so shut up. 104 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,202 All right, now, there are 32 employees in this office 105 00:03:56,278 --> 00:03:57,871 and we need 30 pints to win, 106 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,869 so we got this thing in the bag. 107 00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,416 - Yeah, whoo! - Yeah. 108 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,664 Unless some of you are scared of needles. 109 00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,122 - What? Is that real? - I mean... 110 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,376 Excuse me, 111 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:14,760 but scared-ness of needles is no laughing matter. 112 00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:16,465 I personally am not afraid of needles, 113 00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:20,553 but I did see someone murdered with a needle 114 00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:22,137 in the movie Gremlins. 115 00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:25,019 Needle-phobes have rights too, so... 116 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,021 Thank you. That's my time. 117 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:29,228 Great, and nobody cares, all right? 118 00:04:29,311 --> 00:04:30,483 All right, so let's break. 119 00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:32,735 - Let's give that blood. - Whoo! 120 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:33,986 - Let's tear it up. - Take it all. 121 00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:36,568 - Whoo! - Whoo! 122 00:04:36,651 --> 00:04:38,073 - What's up? - Hey. 123 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,575 I just want to say thank you. 124 00:04:39,654 --> 00:04:41,452 It's good to have one of us speaking up. 125 00:04:41,531 --> 00:04:42,748 Not afraid of needles. 126 00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:44,041 Not one of whatever you guys are. 127 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:47,917 It is okay to fear the needle, 128 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:50,795 but please do not fear your... 129 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,376 I'm not one of you. 130 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,086 I support you and what you're doing, but... 131 00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,171 Stop touching me. Don't ever do that. 132 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,598 - And just listen. - Hey. 133 00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:01,096 You guys aren't gonna puss out on me, are you? 134 00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:02,644 Okay, I'm only saying that 135 00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,062 'cause you're hiding in this room, 136 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,935 and I am very intuitive, like a mother. 137 00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:07,311 I'm gonna go give blood right now. 138 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,313 Alice Murphy... 139 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,937 I'm gonna go give blood. Okay. 140 00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,733 Hey, Karl, I need your help. 141 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,194 Dolph Lundgren, man, I've seen all of his movies. 142 00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,950 He's, like, so cool. 143 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,748 Do you know if, like, Dolph is gonna... 144 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,625 Carmen. It's me, Mr. Henderson. 145 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,172 I used to bring you empty cans outside the liquor store. 146 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,967 Hey, how long have you been un-homeless for? 147 00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:36,261 Oh, my God, you must be really light-headed. 148 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,838 You used to have the best singing voice. 149 00:05:37,921 --> 00:05:41,516 - So beautiful. - That's not me. 150 00:05:41,591 --> 00:05:43,810 Eat your cookies, okay? 151 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:45,011 Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 152 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,597 Hold your horsies. 153 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,523 How many people we got signed up so far? 154 00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:52,523 Uh, 25, so you'll win second place. 155 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,856 Okay, well, we don't get second place around here. 156 00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,283 So how about we go ahead 157 00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,988 and strap on a few more baggy sacks for daddy? 158 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:03,947 I can handle, like, five more probably. 159 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,910 Mmm-hmm. One pint per each. 160 00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,999 Okay, guess what? 161 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,707 Your pass to DeMamp Camp... 162 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,797 And that's me ripping it up. 163 00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:20,631 I'm taking cookies. I'm taking three. 164 00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:23,217 - I'm taking three. - Jazzy. 165 00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:25,394 I'm gonna take this batch out to the blood bank. 166 00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,562 - Can you handle this in here? - Mmm-hmm, yeah. 167 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,935 Is this his blood, right there? 168 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,768 Okay, you want anything from the Pizza Hut in Target? 169 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:36,230 You know me, girl. You always know me. 170 00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,907 - Blue ICEE. - Oh. 171 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:41,531 - Yeah, I didn't... - All right, all right. 172 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:45,451 - Excuse me. - Yeah? 173 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,999 What are you doing with my blood? Why isn't it with all the rest? 174 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:51,287 - Where's this blood going? - Just eat your cookies, and move along. 175 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:58,923 Got a bad feeling about this gosh-forsaken blood drive. 176 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,754 For instance, why won't they even tell us 177 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,305 where the blood is going? 178 00:07:02,380 --> 00:07:05,008 Oh, it's for patients at hospitals. 179 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,477 - Yes, yeah. - Right? 180 00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:10,476 Yes, but why is Dolph involved, hmm? 181 00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:12,307 Does this internet have computer capabilities? 182 00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:15,985 Okay. I need you to pull up his IMDb page, and I need that yesterday. 183 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,569 Well, it says here he's MIT smart, 184 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:23,072 chemical engineer, a karate master. 185 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,370 Why is he making action movies with these idiots? 186 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:28,366 - He's perfect. - Yeah, it doesn't make sense. 187 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:32,999 He's got the brains to be, like, a chemical-genetic engineering dude, 188 00:07:33,078 --> 00:07:34,876 but he didn't have the resources. 189 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:42,221 So he went and became famous, and now he has access to the blood. 190 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:44,798 The blood. 191 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:49,310 He's got access to any of my... Holy cow! 192 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,979 Look at his balls in those Dockers. 193 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:54,315 Oh, my gosh. 194 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:56,644 I could click and zoom all day. 195 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:59,775 Damn it. TelAmeriCorp. 196 00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,617 Hey, Sir Edna, I got your blood. 197 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:14,123 Okay. Whose blood is it? 198 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,579 No, don't tell me. 199 00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,335 I understand sometimes people just need 200 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:20,088 to slip through the cracks, just disappear. 201 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:22,214 What? No, it's gonna be my blood. 202 00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:23,465 - Come on. - What? 203 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,297 Take this blade. 204 00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:26,677 No. No, no, no, wait. 205 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,008 I'm gonna take the tube, 206 00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:30,014 I'm gonna put it right next to my wrist and you're gonna cut me. 207 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,391 No, Karl, I... I'm hemophobic. 208 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,689 Oh, my God, Ders. It's 2015. 209 00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,892 Gay dudes exist. Get over it. 210 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:38,773 - Cut me! - Okay, all right. 211 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,104 Dolph Lundgren. Dolph Lundgren. 212 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,358 - Dolph Lundgren. - Hit me, baby. 213 00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,860 Dolph Lundgren! 214 00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,361 - Uh, try it again. - Dolph Lundgren. 215 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:45,693 Okay, just... You know what? 216 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,197 - Okay, go down the river. - Dolph Lundgren. 217 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,529 - Dolph Lundgren. - Go down one more time. 218 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,703 - I don't know. - Let me see the blade. 219 00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:50,871 Yeah. 220 00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,540 - Shit! - Dolph Lundgren! 221 00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:56,961 - Dolph Lundgren! - Okay. 222 00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,381 - Dolph Lundgren! - Oh, oh! 223 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:00,582 - What are you... - We got it. 224 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,042 Why'd you lick it, man? 225 00:09:02,125 --> 00:09:04,799 I thought it was like a ballpoint pen, man, but it's working. 226 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,221 - It's working. - Okay. 227 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,260 Stop. 228 00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,937 Waymond, give me your glasses. 229 00:09:15,013 --> 00:09:16,765 I just came up with a great idea. 230 00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:17,974 Hands up. 231 00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,435 Give me your shirt 232 00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:20,894 and a smear of your wildly potent cologne. 233 00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:22,229 You stink. What is that? 234 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:23,985 Cool Water? It's an aphrodisiac. 235 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,407 I like that. That's nice. 236 00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,576 They tell me that I can't give blood. 237 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,904 Well, guess what, "nurses." 238 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:32,239 I'll trick the system. 239 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,416 I'll give blood using the identities 240 00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,585 of my bitch-ass coworkers. 241 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,081 This is perfect. 242 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,004 Thank God I have all these muscles. 243 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,003 It's DeMamp Camp. It's part... It doesn't matter. 244 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,675 Give me a little more of that. 245 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,593 Give me a little more of that. I want to reek like you. 246 00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,672 I cannot wait to tell Dolph I did this. 247 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,764 Hi, I've got to get back to work, 248 00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,971 and I gave blood with the other nurse. 249 00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,522 That's why you didn't see me do it. 250 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,190 And she said I could just drop this off with you. 251 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:00,437 Okay, sure. Do you want a sticker? 252 00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,611 I, uh... Yeah. Yes. 253 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,813 - Yeah, you do. - Great. 254 00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,273 Very cool. Oh, hi. 255 00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:07,482 - Hey. - All right. 256 00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:08,691 Good-bye. 257 00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:14,205 Hi, are you ready to give some blood? 258 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,622 Yes? 259 00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,328 Oh, hello, nurses. 260 00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:24,712 I am Waymond Womano, a short Asian-type man. 261 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,637 Ready to give blood for the first time today. 262 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:31,134 Two Waymonds. 263 00:10:32,924 --> 00:10:36,098 - Hello? - Blake, I hit the mother lode. 264 00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:37,429 My desk, now. 265 00:10:38,847 --> 00:10:41,441 Hey, Alice. There any purple stuff in there? 266 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:45,692 'Cause I'm just trying to get my blood sugar back in sync. 267 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,944 Oh, wow. Congrats, Anders. 268 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:50,650 - That's how we do. - You know what? 269 00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:54,488 Everybody, let's give Anders a standing ovation, huh? 270 00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,415 You know what? 271 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,787 I'm gonna have this fiber yogurt. 272 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,290 Why don't we all clap for me too, huh? 273 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:02,461 Come on. 274 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:05,381 Moron. 275 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,376 Hey, man, you gave blood? 276 00:11:08,751 --> 00:11:11,254 How big was them needles? One of them long suckers? 277 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,590 You know, normal, the normal size they are. 278 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,391 You know what? Maybe we should do this. 279 00:11:15,466 --> 00:11:16,968 I don't know. What do y'all think? 280 00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,645 I shouldn't medically, but I'm willing to try. 281 00:11:19,721 --> 00:11:21,439 Maybe don't. I don't know. 282 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:25,394 Two Waymond Womanos. 283 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:27,478 So, I guess the fake one is the one 284 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:30,111 that looks the guy named Adam who came in earlier. 285 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,487 I know. 286 00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,409 - He looks exactly like that guy. - No, you. 287 00:11:33,484 --> 00:11:35,282 You could tell. Dang it. 288 00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,988 Since I know you're cheating, 289 00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,664 I'm gonna have to remove two from the board. 290 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:42,461 What? I need Dolph for my video, okay? 291 00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:47,715 I'm so freaking mad at you. 292 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:51,044 - What's the mother lode? - You're not gonna believe this. 293 00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:53,926 Check this out. 294 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,886 When I'm with you 295 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,091 Baby, baby 296 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,768 I'm so into you 297 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,642 This is your big find? 298 00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:04,645 No, I made it. 299 00:12:08,269 --> 00:12:09,862 Jillian, I can't have you back here 300 00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:12,191 baking your own muffin to Dolph collages, all right? 301 00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:14,901 I need you to focus on finding the source. 302 00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,947 I got to follow that blood. 303 00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:22,788 - It's been a long day. - It has. 304 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,869 I mean, Raymond with a "W." 305 00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:27,422 I can't believe that white boy thought we weren't gonna realize 306 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,545 that he had already been up in there before. 307 00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:32,548 Oh, wait, which Waymond did this come from? 308 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:33,844 Girl, just trash it. 309 00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:39,058 Why are they throwing blood away? 310 00:12:39,133 --> 00:12:41,261 The people who work here are crazy. 311 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:43,392 Did you notice that cologne earlier? 312 00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:46,691 Ugh, it's like he was trying to be someone he's not. 313 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:51,438 Clone? They're cloning people. 314 00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,239 I think all colognes smell weird. 315 00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,362 And they smell weird. 316 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,705 - Psst, Bill. - Ouch. I mean, what? 317 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,410 Hey, guess what, dude? 318 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,587 They won't even let me donate any more pints, 319 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,209 and I have to meet Dolph 320 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:11,166 so he could co-headline DeMamp Camp under me. 321 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:15,470 So, I'm going to ask you to take some blood from my arm. 322 00:13:15,545 --> 00:13:18,048 - Ew, gross. - Bill. 323 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,257 Don't be a bitch like Waymond. 324 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:21,593 You're a fricking baller, right? 325 00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:24,395 I know you, you freaking baller. 326 00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:28,725 You freaking shot caller. 327 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,902 Come with me. Be on my squad. 328 00:13:30,977 --> 00:13:33,571 Be on my team. Be part of DeMamp Camp. 329 00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,444 All right, I'll do it, 330 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,901 but this baller's calling this shot. 331 00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:42,239 Volume Two. 332 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,121 Picture it, me, you, and Dolph, the big muscle brothers. 333 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:49,830 Oh, my God, I hate that idea, okay? 334 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:52,165 But you're part of the team now. 335 00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,091 I freaking love you, Bill. Let me kiss your head. 336 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,169 Ew, it's all slimy. Come on. 337 00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:05,682 Excuse me. 338 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,355 These three would like to give some blood. 339 00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:09,808 Oh, hey, getting it in before the deadline. 340 00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,485 - So, who's first? - I'm ready to give. 341 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,028 All right. 342 00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:15,696 - All right. - Okay. 343 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,115 Fill that out. 344 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:18,783 I find the spirit is captured easiest 345 00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:21,031 between one's toes. 346 00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:23,033 I spent many moons chasing the dragon. 347 00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,705 - And by dragon... - We know. 348 00:14:24,781 --> 00:14:26,283 - I mean heroin. - Yup, that's apparent. 349 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,492 All right, you're next big guy. 350 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,953 Unhand me. I already gave. 351 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:32,539 - See? - So you took his blood earlier? 352 00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:33,714 No, he handed me a bag of blood 353 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,133 that he said you drew. 354 00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,461 You don't remember? Remember me? 355 00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,045 What they talking about, Ders? 356 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:41,130 - I gave blood, Ghostman. - Where you going? 357 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,340 I'm not going anywhere. 358 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,141 Ghostman, get him. 359 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:47,892 The drip is slowing way down. That might be all your blood. 360 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:50,189 What? No, we need five to win. 361 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:52,892 Just squeeze my arm. Wring me out, Bill. 362 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:54,852 "Wring me out, Bill," please. 363 00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:57,860 I might just be your costar, but I'm not your slave. 364 00:15:00,942 --> 00:15:04,162 I am the fucking star, 365 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,831 and I need you to wring me out, 366 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,080 'cause my vision is me bleeding everything I've got 367 00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:11,331 into this baggy. 368 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,084 Then you got to sweeten my deal. 369 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:17,292 I want 30% of merchandising and a plus-two to the premiere. 370 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,594 - Premiere's gonna be packed. - I want to bring two dates. 371 00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,888 Mom and sis. 372 00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:25,975 Fine. 373 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,609 Okay, all right. 374 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,277 Go in there and destroy all the blood. 375 00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,775 - Okay, got it? - I know. I know. I know. 376 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,448 No, I am as serious as Sean Penn right now. 377 00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:42,321 You go in there and you destroy the blood. 378 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,947 Otherwise, Dolph... 379 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,028 He could make as many universal soldiers as he wants, 380 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,455 and I'm not talking movie sequels. 381 00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:48,873 I'm talking a clone army. 382 00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:50,621 He did it to Waymond and he did it to Carmen. 383 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:52,498 Whoa. Okay, I'm on it. 384 00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:53,794 All right, get in there. 385 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,417 Oh, how much of that bar did you eat? 386 00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:56,713 - I'm okay. - You all right? 387 00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,462 It's just a little... See you. 388 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,293 All right, be safe. 389 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:02,299 Get 'em. Get 'em, girl. 390 00:16:14,849 --> 00:16:16,601 How you doing? Dumping the blood? 391 00:16:18,436 --> 00:16:20,109 Nope! Blake. 392 00:16:20,188 --> 00:16:22,441 What the heck? 393 00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:26,824 Cloning is the future and you can't stop it. 394 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:29,702 Dolph needs this blood to breed universal soldiers 395 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,373 and I'm gonna help him. 396 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,372 You're pro-cloning. Why? 397 00:16:33,451 --> 00:16:36,000 Mostly because I'm in love with him. 398 00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,422 But also have you seen the movie Multiplicity? 399 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:40,717 - It's really good. - No, no, no, wait. 400 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,509 If you start playing God, 401 00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,633 consequences will never be the same. 402 00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,716 And of course I've seen it! It's a really, really great movie. 403 00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:50,301 But this... This ain't the movies, babe. 404 00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,557 No. 405 00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:55,686 Don't! Stop! My Dolph! My sweet Dolph! 406 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,859 What the bloody hell? 407 00:16:57,934 --> 00:17:01,438 Adam, Dolph is using the blood drive to clone people. 408 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:05,367 He's making a clone army. He'll make a million Adams. 409 00:17:05,441 --> 00:17:07,068 That sounds awesome. 410 00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,869 A million Adams and a million Dolphs. 411 00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:10,868 And a million Bills. 412 00:17:10,947 --> 00:17:14,372 Okay, not a million Bills, 'cause you're off the project. 413 00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:17,499 Blake, don't do this to me, man, okay? 414 00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,376 I need this. 415 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,707 Hey! 416 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,007 Blake! 417 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:27,005 I don't even have any blood in my body. 418 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,055 - What's wrong with him? - Adam? 419 00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,848 What's wrong with him? 420 00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:32,177 It's probably all the blood that I gave. Fuck. 421 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,722 This is for your own good, man. 422 00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:39,230 Don't. If you pop one more of those, I swear to God... 423 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,686 - Blake. - Don't, Blake! 424 00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,327 Oh, my God, did you... Did you kill this man? 425 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,532 No, no, no, no. 426 00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,333 He just gave five pints of blood 427 00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:57,752 because he fell for your little scam, 428 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,170 but I didn't. 429 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:00,417 I destroyed all y'all's blood, 430 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:03,090 because I know that Dolph Lundgren was cloning people. 431 00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,542 - Ah. - What? 432 00:18:04,625 --> 00:18:06,423 I figured it out like a little detective. 433 00:18:06,502 --> 00:18:08,755 Okay, urn... Okay. 434 00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,932 Get me a pint of O-positive, stat. 435 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,429 - This man needs blood. - Okay. 436 00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:14,602 All the blood is gone. What are we gonna do? 437 00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,179 Um, uh... 438 00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:18,515 We're gonna need to try a direct transfusion. 439 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,067 See, I knew your ass was trouble. 440 00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,769 The reason why we put your blood to the side is 'cause 441 00:18:22,852 --> 00:18:24,229 there's no telling what the hell you got up in there, 442 00:18:24,312 --> 00:18:25,359 all high and shit. 443 00:18:25,438 --> 00:18:27,532 I'm not high. 444 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,075 You guys, I can't. I'm serious. 445 00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:30,367 This is how they killed that guy in Gremlins. 446 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,286 Okay, okay. Are any of you AB or O? 447 00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,783 Maybe. 448 00:18:33,863 --> 00:18:35,160 Your friend just lost, like, a lot of blood. 449 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,207 If you don't give right now, like, he might not make it. 450 00:18:37,283 --> 00:18:38,830 - Where's this needle? - Okay, good. 451 00:18:38,909 --> 00:18:40,456 I'll give. 452 00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:44,089 Oof! What the... 453 00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:46,418 - Okay, now we're screwed. - Okay, what the fuck? 454 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,423 I have been waiting all day for my appointment. 455 00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:50,721 - Well, what blood type are you? - AB, why? 456 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,265 Okay, we are gonna need to do an emergency direct transfusion 457 00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:54,888 between the two of you. 458 00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:57,140 Ugh, all right, fine, but how long is this gonna take? 459 00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:58,596 I gotta Skype in 20. 460 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:01,561 You're very lucky. 461 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,643 You survived a highly unorthodox transfusion 462 00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:06,070 performed by poorly trained volunteer nurses. 463 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,739 - But did it work, though? - All right. 464 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,782 Come on, you need to wait outside, ma'am. 465 00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:12,326 I'm just saying, did it not work? 466 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,153 - Outside. - Whoa. 467 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:18,161 Listen, I am Carmen and I'm trying to start over. 468 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,494 - Please don't ruin this for me. - Hey. 469 00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,079 Secret's safe with me. 470 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,335 It's not the 10-year contract we wanted, 471 00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,668 but here's an autographed napkin. 472 00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:32,221 And who is this? I missed Dolph? 473 00:19:32,296 --> 00:19:34,845 He stopped by TAC 'cause he heard what happened to you, 474 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,926 trying to give blood and all and felt bad. 475 00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,511 And he freaking didn't even come here 476 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:41,017 and talk to me face to face? 477 00:19:41,097 --> 00:19:42,440 What a bitch. 478 00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:45,064 Best moment of that idiot's life was getting his ass kicked 479 00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,439 by Jean-Claude Van Damme. 480 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,523 - Stop. - He's a fricking bitch. What a stupid bitch. 481 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:52,780 He's right behind me, isn't he? 482 00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:57,864 Nope, he's right behind me. You're looking at him. 483 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:03,078 - Hi. - Hi. 484 00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:07,753 You must've just heard that long story I told. 485 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:11,211 I heard it. I heard you, man. 486 00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,421 I never meant to hurt you. 487 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,927 Good-bye forever. 488 00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,804 Oh, my God, that was crazy. 489 00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,977 Oh, wait. My question. 490 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:23,056 Do you still have, like, the voice of an angel? 491 00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,733 Uh, could you sing us a tune? 492 00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:28,607 Please. 493 00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:33,783 Ooh, ee, ooh 494 00:20:33,858 --> 00:20:35,405 Mr. Lundgren, wait. 495 00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:38,203 I've waited 15 years to ask you this question. 496 00:20:38,279 --> 00:20:40,577 So, in the movie Showdown in Little Tokyo, 497 00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:44,001 when you guys ate sushi off those naked ladies, 498 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,750 were those real naked ladies? 499 00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:49,708 Uh, yeah. 500 00:20:49,790 --> 00:20:51,963 Obviously. 501 00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:53,589 Yes! I knew it. 502 00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:54,886 I knew it. I knew it. 503 00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:56,680 You guys, they were real naked ladies! 504 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,597 Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh 505 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,354 Ee, ooh 506 00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:13,948 Ooh, ee, ooh 507 00:21:14,023 --> 00:21:16,867 I'm so... 508 00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:27,500 Ripped By mstoll