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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,332 --> 00:00:11,867
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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00:00:11,902 --> 00:00:14,870
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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♪ Family Guy 13x12 ♪
Stewie Is Enceinte
Original Air Date on February 15, 2015
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00:00:30,091 --> 00:00:35,091
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606
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We now return to Top Chef:
Looney Tunes Edition.
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Okay, Chef Fudd, I was a little
disappointed in you this week.
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Your dish was just a live rabbit
who thought he was taking a bath.
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00:00:44,512 --> 00:00:46,861
But I used
carrots and celery.
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Yes. I saw he was scrubbing his
back with a long celery stalk.
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00:00:49,893 --> 00:00:52,317
Chef Sylvester, on the other
hand, I'm happy to say
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your sufferin' succotash
was absolutely delicious.
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Thanks.
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00:00:56,513 --> 00:00:59,748
Hello?
Oh, hi, Bonnie.
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00:00:59,783 --> 00:01:02,818
No, I'm not doing anything.
Just sitting here with the baby.
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00:01:02,853 --> 00:01:04,152
Yeah, screw you, too.
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00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:07,465
Oh, hey, Bri. Hey, you want to go
out and get some gluten-free pizza?
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00:01:07,490 --> 00:01:10,492
I'm gluten-free now. But, you know,
I'm not gonna be annoying about it.
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Too late. Oh, we should
be gluten-free together!
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Let's go to Whole Foods
and buy a bunch of stuff
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from that weird aisle
nobody else goes down.
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I can't. I got plans.
I'll see you later.
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00:01:19,536 --> 00:01:21,703
Oh, sure.
Maybe another time.
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00:01:21,739 --> 00:01:24,172
Ugh. I didn't seem
too desperate, right?
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00:01:24,208 --> 00:01:27,806
Don't answer. It's just that
Brian's been so distant lately,
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00:01:27,831 --> 00:01:30,812
and we used to be inseparable...
like Jack and Jill.
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Oh, so then Jack takes
these two pails of water
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and trips and totally
falls down the hill.
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Ha, ha, ha.
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00:01:36,587 --> 00:01:38,780
Yeah. Hey,
I got a funny story.
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00:01:38,805 --> 00:01:41,071
Jill had a tooth fall out,
and she swallowed it,
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00:01:41,096 --> 00:01:43,663
and then we had to root
through her feces to find it.
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00:01:43,688 --> 00:01:45,836
And we did. And then
we took it to the dentist,
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00:01:45,861 --> 00:01:47,362
and he put it back
in her mouth.
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00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:48,897
So I guess
we're both klutzes, huh?
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00:01:48,932 --> 00:01:50,966
Why don't you spin
another tale, crap-tooth?
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00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:52,501
No? My turn again?
44
00:01:52,536 --> 00:01:55,170
Okay. Jill's barren.
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00:02:00,844 --> 00:02:02,611
Good afternoon.
I'm Tom Tucker.
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00:02:02,646 --> 00:02:05,936
Some sad news this morning
as 38 schoolchildren drowned
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00:02:05,961 --> 00:02:08,467
when their...
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excuse me... when their
school bus hit a patch of ice
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00:02:11,343 --> 00:02:14,423
and drove off a loc...
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what is wrong with me today?...
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and drove off a local bridge.
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00:02:17,928 --> 00:02:21,196
And now the viral video of the week,
with over seven million views.
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For those of you who
loved "Screaming Sheep,"
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we've got "Opera Penguin."
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♪ La, ah, ah, ah. ♪
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Is... is that it?
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Is he gonna do it again? No?
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Okay, so just
normal penguin stuff now.
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Okay, cut back to me.
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Uh, y-you can't?
The button broke off?
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00:02:41,151 --> 00:02:45,120
All right, well, a U.S. convoy was
ambushed in Kabul this morning, so now
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we're going to have a moment
of silence in remembrance...
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♪ La... ♪
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Oh, he does do it again.
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00:02:51,628 --> 00:02:54,506
That could be my favorite
thing I ever seen.
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00:02:54,531 --> 00:02:57,514
What is a penguin?
Is it some kind of bug?
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00:02:57,539 --> 00:02:59,701
What? You serious?
So it is a bug?
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00:02:59,726 --> 00:03:01,195
Hey, you know, that's
what we ought to do.
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00:03:01,220 --> 00:03:02,755
We ought to make a viral video.
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00:03:02,780 --> 00:03:04,697
All right! Awesome!
Let's do it!
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00:03:04,722 --> 00:03:06,508
Oh, wait, I don't know if
you're gonna be in it, Joe.
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00:03:06,543 --> 00:03:10,145
I thought, while we filmed, we'd just
keep all of our stuff on your lap.
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What the hell
are you doing?
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00:03:14,756 --> 00:03:17,619
I saw a scary boy doing this,
and I thought I'd try it.
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00:03:17,654 --> 00:03:19,224
All right, have fun.
I'm late.
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00:03:19,249 --> 00:03:21,769
Late? But I thought you
and I could hang out
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00:03:21,794 --> 00:03:24,803
and maybe watch Lois shush Peter
while they watch Nashville.
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00:03:24,828 --> 00:03:27,229
Maybe another
time, Stewie.
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00:03:27,264 --> 00:03:30,031
There he goes again.
He's being so standoffish.
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I don't understand.
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00:03:36,974 --> 00:03:38,940
Oh, we used to be that happy.
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00:03:38,976 --> 00:03:41,335
Wait a minute... Joe
and Bonnie never used
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00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:43,828
to spend time together
until they had Susie.
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00:03:43,881 --> 00:03:46,848
Having a baby seems
to have made them closer.
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00:03:46,884 --> 00:03:49,651
Babies save relationships!
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00:03:50,921 --> 00:03:53,121
Oh, look at you...
you're flyin'!
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00:03:53,156 --> 00:03:56,658
Okay, thanks, Bonnie. Next
I want to ride a bike.
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00:03:56,693 --> 00:04:00,395
That's it, Rupert! That's how Brian and I
are going to improve our relationship.
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00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:01,963
We're going to have a baby!
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00:04:01,999 --> 00:04:05,967
I say, this is my best idea since
I robbed a Joseph A. Bank.
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00:04:07,104 --> 00:04:09,504
Three suits for 99 bucks?!
92
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,907
Take me to jail!
93
00:04:15,620 --> 00:04:17,987
All right,
I want tonight to be perfect.
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00:04:18,012 --> 00:04:21,283
I'm gonna lay it all out for Brian
why we should have a baby together.
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00:04:21,318 --> 00:04:23,652
I don't know, I haven't
even thought about that.
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00:04:23,687 --> 00:04:25,594
Why are you so obsessed
with circumcision?
97
00:04:25,619 --> 00:04:27,919
Oh, hey, look, you made
a little dinner party.
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00:04:27,944 --> 00:04:29,724
Hi, Rupert.
He won't be joining us.
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00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:32,594
Get up!
Please, sit.
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00:04:32,629 --> 00:04:34,162
You, uh... you okay?
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00:04:34,197 --> 00:04:36,865
I'm terrific. And that is
so sweet of you to ask.
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00:04:36,900 --> 00:04:40,335
You really are a natural
caregiver, aren't you?
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Mm. Mm.
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00:04:41,805 --> 00:04:43,772
Do you mind not texting?
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00:04:43,807 --> 00:04:45,807
Sorry, sorry.
Just finishing right now.
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00:04:45,842 --> 00:04:48,610
Almost done.
There, all finished
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00:04:48,645 --> 00:04:51,012
riiiight...
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00:04:51,048 --> 00:04:52,881
now.
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00:04:52,916 --> 00:04:54,545
Thhhhere.
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00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:56,988
Thanks. So, I wanted
to talk to you about...
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00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:58,921
A-Are you just gonna
leave it on the table?
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00:04:58,945 --> 00:04:59,980
I-I won't look at it.
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00:05:00,005 --> 00:05:01,895
Great. So, I wanted to...
You're looking at it.
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00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,573
Sorry. Work.
It's not work.
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00:05:03,598 --> 00:05:05,964
It'll just take a second.
I-I normally wouldn't do this,
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00:05:05,989 --> 00:05:07,629
but I was already kind of
in the middle of something,
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00:05:07,664 --> 00:05:10,966
and I just need to quickly
respond, and there I am
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finiiished.
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00:05:14,438 --> 00:05:15,937
Ah, yeah.
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00:05:15,973 --> 00:05:18,440
Okay, just
a few more worrrds...
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00:05:18,475 --> 00:05:20,881
annnd...
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00:05:20,906 --> 00:05:22,280
d-done.
Sorry.
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00:05:22,305 --> 00:05:24,148
Okay, so...
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00:05:24,173 --> 00:05:25,545
Nah, nah, I'm not gonna get it.
125
00:05:25,570 --> 00:05:27,522
Then maybe we can
take it off the table.
126
00:05:27,547 --> 00:05:28,650
No, no, just keep going.
127
00:05:29,786 --> 00:05:33,421
I was thinking, we should talk
about having a...
128
00:05:33,457 --> 00:05:36,257
This isn't fun for me,
watching you text.
129
00:05:36,293 --> 00:05:38,526
No, no, this is great.
Mm, mm, mm. Yum.
130
00:05:38,562 --> 00:05:41,296
But I-I got to go.
I have a date.
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00:05:41,331 --> 00:05:43,532
This is serious, Rupert.
I'm losing him.
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00:05:43,557 --> 00:05:48,450
If we're going to fix this relationship,
we need a baby and we need it now.
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00:05:51,475 --> 00:05:53,908
I'm just going to take
a little bit of his DNA,
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00:05:53,944 --> 00:05:58,079
and soon we'll be proud parents,
like Ron Livingston's parents.
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00:05:58,115 --> 00:05:59,714
You know,
our son's a famous actor.
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00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:00,982
Really?
What's his name?
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00:06:01,018 --> 00:06:02,951
Oh, um...
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00:06:02,986 --> 00:06:04,285
he's, uh...
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00:06:04,321 --> 00:06:06,821
he was, like, the main guy
in Office Space.
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00:06:06,857 --> 00:06:08,423
Yeah. What else?
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00:06:08,458 --> 00:06:10,258
Uh... he has dark hair...
142
00:06:10,293 --> 00:06:12,560
I don't know,
was he in Black Hawk Down?
143
00:06:12,596 --> 00:06:15,563
Uh, he was in, like, at least
five Sex "in" the Citys.
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00:06:15,599 --> 00:06:18,199
What is his name?
What is his name?
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00:06:18,235 --> 00:06:20,435
Is your son
Ron Livingston?
146
00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:22,587
Yes!
Oh, God! Thank God!
147
00:06:22,612 --> 00:06:24,639
Ron Livingston!
Thank you!
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00:06:24,675 --> 00:06:27,008
That has been bugging me
all day.
149
00:06:30,347 --> 00:06:35,316
Okay, let's see. Now, what are the
ingredients to a viral Internet video?
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00:06:35,352 --> 00:06:37,619
Cats.
Yes, cats. Good.
151
00:06:37,654 --> 00:06:40,121
Uh, uh, people reacting
to watching gross stuff.
152
00:06:40,157 --> 00:06:42,524
Oh, yeah, 'cause they're like,
"Rah! That's gross!
153
00:06:42,559 --> 00:06:44,826
Can I get a soda?
What? No.
154
00:06:44,861 --> 00:06:47,345
Th-This is, like, the worst time
to ask for a soda.
155
00:06:47,370 --> 00:06:48,328
Unbelievable.
156
00:06:48,352 --> 00:06:50,332
You know what, we should
just go out and start filming.
157
00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:52,467
'Cause I think we're
really gonna surprise everyone.
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00:06:52,502 --> 00:06:55,336
Like Buster Keaton did
in his first talking picture.
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00:06:55,372 --> 00:07:00,408
♪
♪ Here we go. I'm moving through
the scene and I slam the door.
160
00:07:00,444 --> 00:07:06,314
Oh, no! I slammed it too hard, and
the house is gonna squash me!
161
00:07:06,349 --> 00:07:08,783
Oh, it turned out
that window was there.
162
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:11,386
Pause for laugh and amazement.
163
00:07:15,892 --> 00:07:19,594
All right, Rupert, the
fertilization device is complete.
164
00:07:19,619 --> 00:07:24,866
This will impregnate me with the child that
will bring Brian and me back together!
165
00:07:24,901 --> 00:07:27,284
First, I add Brian's
hair and saliva,
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00:07:27,309 --> 00:07:31,206
and some preschool applications,
because we are already way behind.
167
00:07:31,241 --> 00:07:34,536
There. Now I just have
to get into the machine,
168
00:07:34,561 --> 00:07:36,756
and then the machine does
whatever it has to do to me
169
00:07:36,781 --> 00:07:38,546
in order to successfully
impregnate me.
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00:07:38,582 --> 00:07:42,083
We do not judge the machine.
We do not judge Stewie.
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00:07:44,121 --> 00:07:46,454
Good-bye, body.
172
00:07:46,490 --> 00:07:48,899
You're gonna watch me
get pregnant.
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00:07:48,924 --> 00:07:51,925
I want to look at you
when it happens.
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00:07:52,608 --> 00:07:54,906
Yeah, you watch me,
bitch.
175
00:08:25,462 --> 00:08:27,124
Good morning, Brian.
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00:08:27,149 --> 00:08:29,594
What is that?
I smell pee.
177
00:08:29,619 --> 00:08:32,775
Yes, you do, Brian.
178
00:08:34,671 --> 00:08:36,382
Oh, my God, that
thing's positive!
179
00:08:36,407 --> 00:08:39,218
Is Lois pregnant again?
No...
180
00:08:39,243 --> 00:08:40,575
Meg is pregnant?
181
00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:42,210
You're getting warmer.
182
00:08:44,447 --> 00:08:46,948
Wha... What have you done?
183
00:08:46,983 --> 00:08:49,297
I think you mean,
what have we done?
184
00:08:49,322 --> 00:08:50,318
What?!
185
00:08:50,353 --> 00:08:52,420
Brian... we're pregnant!
186
00:08:52,445 --> 00:08:54,806
Oh, my God!
: And in 18 years,
187
00:08:54,831 --> 00:08:56,815
he's going to move away!
188
00:09:02,854 --> 00:09:05,037
You're pregnant with our baby?!
189
00:09:05,062 --> 00:09:06,356
How could this even happen?!
190
00:09:06,391 --> 00:09:09,025
Simple. I took your DNA
and inserted it
191
00:09:09,060 --> 00:09:12,161
into my temporary uterus
through my fertilization device.
192
00:09:12,197 --> 00:09:14,633
Oh, my God, you're serious!
People are gonna think
193
00:09:14,658 --> 00:09:17,500
I had sex with a male baby
and then got him pregnant!
194
00:09:17,535 --> 00:09:20,012
Oh, thank you for finding a way
to make it sound horrible.
195
00:09:20,037 --> 00:09:21,583
We can't have
a baby, Stewie!
196
00:09:21,608 --> 00:09:23,873
Is this about money?
Because I have a bit saved.
197
00:09:23,908 --> 00:09:25,492
We could even use
my old crib.
198
00:09:25,517 --> 00:09:27,648
You use your old crib!
Oh, right.
199
00:09:27,673 --> 00:09:29,226
Stewie, you have
to get rid of it.
200
00:09:29,251 --> 00:09:31,773
"Get rid of it"? You know,
why don't you just say it?
201
00:09:31,798 --> 00:09:34,375
Say the word, Brian.
I want to hear you say it.
202
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:38,633
Abortion! Abortion! You need to get a
big fat abortion right this second!
203
00:09:38,658 --> 00:09:41,290
You can't even say it.
I think I'm gonna throw up.
204
00:09:41,326 --> 00:09:44,780
Oh, save the cheap theatrics. This isn't
one of your crappy short stories.
205
00:09:44,805 --> 00:09:47,099
This is real life,
mister, so man up!
206
00:09:47,124 --> 00:09:48,929
You are getting an
abortion, Stewie.
207
00:09:48,954 --> 00:09:51,929
I will not! Our child
is growing inside me!
208
00:09:51,954 --> 00:09:53,485
Stop talking like that!
209
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,004
A-And how do you
even know it's mine?
210
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:58,551
How dare you!
So I'm just some slut?!
211
00:09:58,576 --> 00:10:00,543
Well, this slut
is having your baby!
212
00:10:00,578 --> 00:10:03,346
Why would you even do this?
I thought you'd be happy.
213
00:10:03,381 --> 00:10:05,496
I mean, you have
all these amazing qualities,
214
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:08,617
and I'm kind of good-looking.
I mean, I'm no model, but...
215
00:10:08,653 --> 00:10:10,319
Well, certainly
not a runway model.
216
00:10:10,355 --> 00:10:12,321
I'd-I'd be more
catalogue, probably.
217
00:10:12,357 --> 00:10:14,660
You know what?
Why not a runway model?
218
00:10:14,685 --> 00:10:16,810
Why not? Why am I
always apologizing
219
00:10:16,835 --> 00:10:18,685
for how good-looking I am?
I'm sick of it.
220
00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:21,163
I can model in Paris.
We could take the baby with us.
221
00:10:21,199 --> 00:10:23,290
We could be that kind of family.
What do you think?
222
00:10:23,315 --> 00:10:25,188
Is it dead?
223
00:10:25,228 --> 00:10:26,632
You hit me!
224
00:10:26,657 --> 00:10:29,772
What kind of monster
hits a pregnant toddler!
225
00:10:29,807 --> 00:10:33,843
If you ever lay a finger on me again,
I'll burn you in your bed.
226
00:10:33,878 --> 00:10:36,479
Could... could you
do that now, please?
227
00:10:40,385 --> 00:10:43,895
All right, Peter, get the camera ready.
I got a viral Internet video
228
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,989
that's gonna go straight
to the top of the charts.
229
00:10:47,024 --> 00:10:51,327
Hi, I'm Joe Swanson, and this is
30 impressions in 30 seconds.
230
00:10:51,362 --> 00:10:52,928
"Show me the money."
231
00:10:52,964 --> 00:10:54,163
"Oh, behave."
232
00:10:54,188 --> 00:10:56,021
"Good morning, Vietnam."
233
00:10:56,046 --> 00:10:58,747
"Wait until they get a load
of me," said the Joker.
234
00:10:58,772 --> 00:11:01,473
Some of these I'm paraphrasing.
235
00:11:04,976 --> 00:11:08,778
Hey, I need you to take me to the
doctor for my prenatal vitamins.
236
00:11:08,813 --> 00:11:11,647
I'm not taking you anywhere.
Geez, how far along are you?
237
00:11:11,682 --> 00:11:14,083
I'm not really sure.
Two days, six months...
238
00:11:14,118 --> 00:11:16,152
there's a certain amount of
guesswork involved in this.
239
00:11:16,187 --> 00:11:18,349
Oh, and while I'm pregnant,
I'm going to need you
240
00:11:18,374 --> 00:11:20,561
to change the cat litter.
We don't have a cat.
241
00:11:20,586 --> 00:11:22,915
Ugh. Please don't
fight me on this.
242
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:24,974
Oh, my back is killing me.
243
00:11:24,999 --> 00:11:27,607
And I've also been experiencing
a little...
244
00:11:27,632 --> 00:11:28,908
morning sickness.
245
00:11:28,933 --> 00:11:32,034
It's for the baby,
it's for the baby.
246
00:11:35,506 --> 00:11:37,339
You look ridiculous
like that.
247
00:11:37,375 --> 00:11:39,608
Not too ridiculous for you
to put a baby in me.
248
00:11:39,644 --> 00:11:41,944
Okay, Raylene,
I'm Dr. Hartman.
249
00:11:41,979 --> 00:11:45,558
Now, before we begin, I want you to
know the record is just past my watch.
250
00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:48,217
: Well, it takes two people
to break a record.
251
00:11:48,242 --> 00:11:49,952
You look a little young.
How old are you?
252
00:11:49,987 --> 00:11:53,362
Uh, 13? 14?
253
00:11:53,387 --> 00:11:57,393
15. B-But he didn't force himself on me.
I wanted it, too.
254
00:11:57,428 --> 00:11:59,328
Well, that's
the important thing.
255
00:11:59,363 --> 00:12:03,466
That's odd. Your vagina seems to
have a penis and two testicles.
256
00:12:03,501 --> 00:12:06,731
Oh, right. I, uh...
sneezed real hard
257
00:12:06,756 --> 00:12:08,871
and all that came out.
Ah, that explains it.
258
00:12:08,906 --> 00:12:11,045
Could you do that thing
where you take some fluid
259
00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:13,826
and tell me if it's going
to be an imbecile or a cretin?
260
00:12:13,851 --> 00:12:16,612
Oh, not to worry, there are places
where those people can be warehoused.
261
00:12:16,647 --> 00:12:19,548
But from strictly eyeballing you,
I'd say everything looks fine.
262
00:12:19,584 --> 00:12:21,283
Oh, that's wonderful.
263
00:12:21,319 --> 00:12:23,953
Now, Brian, did you have
any questions for the doctor?
264
00:12:23,988 --> 00:12:26,822
Yeah. Are there a lot of
stairs in this building?
265
00:12:29,193 --> 00:12:31,327
God, we need so much stuff.
266
00:12:31,362 --> 00:12:34,216
Look at how tiny all these
clothes are. It's so adorable.
267
00:12:34,241 --> 00:12:36,265
I mean, what kind of feet
can fit into these shoes?
268
00:12:36,300 --> 00:12:38,601
Your feet!
That's getting old, you know.
269
00:12:38,636 --> 00:12:40,983
You better get on
board with this.
270
00:12:41,008 --> 00:12:43,041
Aw, how far along are you?
271
00:12:43,066 --> 00:12:44,940
Eight months.
You look amazing.
272
00:12:44,976 --> 00:12:47,941
Let me ask you, are you leaking?
Because I've been leaking.
273
00:12:47,966 --> 00:12:49,265
How old are you?
274
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:51,453
How old are you?
You look like you're 40,
275
00:12:51,478 --> 00:12:54,069
which means whatever you've got
in there is 100% brain-damaged.
276
00:12:54,094 --> 00:12:55,484
All right,
you have a good day.
277
00:12:55,520 --> 00:12:57,453
I hated that lady.
278
00:13:01,926 --> 00:13:04,773
I like these.
These are good. Very classy.
279
00:13:04,798 --> 00:13:06,632
This feels
incredibly wrong.
280
00:13:06,657 --> 00:13:09,030
Oh, we're going to want these,
Brian, believe me.
281
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:10,566
You can't see
my nipples, can you?
282
00:13:10,601 --> 00:13:13,903
They're getting really large, and I'm not
sure if I'm completely covering them.
283
00:13:13,938 --> 00:13:16,338
Eh, you know what?
We'll see what we see.
284
00:13:16,374 --> 00:13:17,506
Let's get a few candids.
285
00:13:17,542 --> 00:13:20,242
Dad, can I get one of your head
on the belly?
286
00:13:20,278 --> 00:13:24,046
Oh, "Dad."
I just got emotional.
287
00:13:24,081 --> 00:13:26,482
♪ Having my baby ♪
288
00:13:26,517 --> 00:13:28,884
♪ I'm a woman in love ♪
289
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:32,388
♪ And I love
what's goin' through me ♪
290
00:13:32,423 --> 00:13:34,490
♪ Having my baby ♪
291
00:13:34,525 --> 00:13:36,759
♪ Having my baby ♪
292
00:13:36,794 --> 00:13:40,829
♪ It's another way
of sayin' how much I love you ♪
293
00:13:40,865 --> 00:13:43,165
♪ I love you ♪
294
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:44,200
♪ Having my baby ♪
295
00:13:44,201 --> 00:13:46,402
♪ Having my baby ♪
296
00:13:49,707 --> 00:13:52,168
Okay, now people really love
that viral video
297
00:13:52,193 --> 00:13:55,144
of a monkey forcin' that sex act
on a frog at the zoo.
298
00:13:55,179 --> 00:13:57,813
So maybe we can find another
frog for somethin' like that.
299
00:13:57,848 --> 00:13:59,760
You mean like that frog?
Who?
300
00:13:59,785 --> 00:14:03,185
That frog in the miniskirt putting
a quarter in the jukebox.
301
00:14:03,220 --> 00:14:05,521
♪ Shot through the heart ♪
302
00:14:05,556 --> 00:14:07,856
♪ And you're to blame ♪
303
00:14:07,892 --> 00:14:11,460
♪ You give love a bad name ♪
♪ Bad name ♪
304
00:14:11,495 --> 00:14:12,962
♪ I play my part ♪
305
00:14:12,997 --> 00:14:14,964
♪ And you play your game ♪
Bingo.
306
00:14:14,999 --> 00:14:19,301
♪ You give love a bad name ♪
♪ Bad name ♪
307
00:14:19,337 --> 00:14:22,471
♪ You give love... ♪
308
00:14:22,506 --> 00:14:26,241
I'm concerned that frog's in
more trouble than she realizes.
309
00:14:28,646 --> 00:14:30,779
I'm having such a craving
for burgers.
310
00:14:30,815 --> 00:14:32,781
It's like my body is
just craving red meat.
311
00:14:32,817 --> 00:14:35,685
And mint chip ice cream.
But only mint chip.
312
00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:37,510
Any other ice cream
makes me want to puke.
313
00:14:37,535 --> 00:14:39,300
Isn't that weird?
Yes, Stewie,
314
00:14:39,324 --> 00:14:41,449
that's the one weird
thing in all this.
315
00:14:41,474 --> 00:14:42,900
What are you looking at?
316
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:45,335
Go push your buttons.
My husband'll kick your ass.
317
00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:46,826
Stop saying
I'm your husband.
318
00:14:46,851 --> 00:14:50,098
Brian, I need you to
take me to the hospital.
319
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,233
Why?
320
00:14:51,268 --> 00:14:53,610
My water just broke.
Oh, my God!
321
00:14:53,635 --> 00:14:55,742
It's okay. Don't panic.
Call the doula.
322
00:14:55,767 --> 00:14:57,221
Brian, you've got
to call the doula!
323
00:14:57,246 --> 00:14:59,211
Doula? I-I don't
even know what that is!
324
00:14:59,236 --> 00:15:03,255
It's a divorced woman who knows about
lady parts and cheers you on. Let's go!
325
00:15:07,718 --> 00:15:10,085
You're gonna have
to drive a little faster!
326
00:15:10,121 --> 00:15:11,943
I'm already going
over the speed limit.
327
00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:14,228
Too late! Pull over!
It's starting to come out!
328
00:15:14,253 --> 00:15:16,625
Of where?
I'm not sure exactly.
329
00:15:18,162 --> 00:15:20,960
Brian, I'm going to need you
to deliver the baby.
330
00:15:20,985 --> 00:15:23,843
Uh, uh, o-okay, c-can you wait a
second while I put a towel down?
331
00:15:23,868 --> 00:15:25,403
I don't want anything
to get on the seats.
332
00:15:25,403 --> 00:15:28,588
Oh, no, of course. Our first priority
should be to keep the vinyl clean.
333
00:15:28,613 --> 00:15:30,839
Oh, God. Oh, God,
it's coming! Oh...
334
00:15:30,875 --> 00:15:33,342
Can you see the head?
I don't know where to look!
335
00:15:33,377 --> 00:15:36,275
Well, maybe you should look at the part
of me where there's a baby coming out!
336
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,515
How did Murphy Brown
make this look so easy?!
337
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:42,283
Careful, don't get
anything on the...
338
00:15:42,308 --> 00:15:43,607
...seats.
339
00:15:43,632 --> 00:15:45,608
Oh, God,
I think another one's coming!
340
00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:46,361
I don't see it!
341
00:15:46,386 --> 00:15:48,102
I think
it's coming out of my mouth!
342
00:15:48,127 --> 00:15:50,360
There's more!
343
00:15:50,385 --> 00:15:51,951
And they're coming out
of everywhere!
344
00:15:51,976 --> 00:15:54,257
Ah! Kill me!
This hurts too much!
345
00:15:54,282 --> 00:15:56,545
Holy!
What is happening?!
346
00:15:56,570 --> 00:15:58,673
I don't know!
Brian, save the placenta.
347
00:15:58,698 --> 00:16:00,026
Do you even have a placenta?
348
00:16:00,051 --> 00:16:02,493
Well, whatever comes
out, save it. I want to eat it.
349
00:16:02,518 --> 00:16:04,068
Oh, God,
they're crawling all over me!
350
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:07,409
- How many are there now?
- Four, five, six, seven.
351
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:09,568
Mazel tov!
352
00:16:27,322 --> 00:16:29,822
I just put Jack and
Rose down for their nap.
353
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:32,325
And I'm trying to keep the more
attractive ones in this area.
354
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,593
This is a nightmare.
355
00:16:33,628 --> 00:16:35,661
Oh, I caught two of them
trying to eat each other,
356
00:16:35,697 --> 00:16:37,997
so that's something we
need to watch out for.
357
00:16:38,032 --> 00:16:40,633
Look, Bri, that one
looks just like you.
358
00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:44,470
Huh. Well, you know what?
I guess he does.
359
00:16:44,506 --> 00:16:46,339
You know, I was
actually thinking,
360
00:16:46,374 --> 00:16:49,208
this could be a chance for you
to finally make things right.
361
00:16:49,244 --> 00:16:50,371
What? What do you mean?
362
00:16:50,396 --> 00:16:52,851
Well, you do have a son
that you were never there for.
363
00:16:52,876 --> 00:16:55,558
This is your opportunity
to do things differently.
364
00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,817
Wow. Maybe you're right.
365
00:16:57,852 --> 00:17:01,337
I suppose I could give it a try.
366
00:17:01,362 --> 00:17:04,467
There you go. Aw, Dick
really likes you.
367
00:17:04,492 --> 00:17:06,855
I like Dick.
You like Dick!
368
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,006
His name's not Dick,
you idiot. It's Finn.
369
00:17:13,461 --> 00:17:16,990
All right, let's check our YouTube
channel and see how we're doing.
370
00:17:17,015 --> 00:17:19,649
Boy, they just went right
after Cleveland, didn't they?
371
00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:22,308
Geez, that word looks even
harsher when it's in all caps.
372
00:17:22,343 --> 00:17:25,174
Wow, people really seem to hate
everything we put on here.
373
00:17:25,199 --> 00:17:27,500
That sucks.
And I worked really hard
374
00:17:27,525 --> 00:17:29,958
on taking a picture of myself
every day for a year
375
00:17:29,983 --> 00:17:33,490
and then setting the photos
to an emotional song. Look.
376
00:17:33,515 --> 00:17:37,180
♪ Hey there, Delilah, what's
it like in New York City? ♪
377
00:17:37,225 --> 00:17:39,292
♪ I'm a thousand miles away ♪
378
00:17:39,327 --> 00:17:41,794
♪ But, girl,
tonight you look so pretty ♪
379
00:17:41,830 --> 00:17:45,131
♪ Yes, you do ♪
380
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:48,468
♪ Times Square can't shine
as bright as you ♪
381
00:17:48,503 --> 00:17:52,305
♪ I swear it's true ♪
382
00:17:52,340 --> 00:17:56,175
Yeah, so we're, uh, thinking
about selling the house.
383
00:18:03,976 --> 00:18:06,496
Hey, stop squirming in there.
384
00:18:06,521 --> 00:18:10,089
This one's bones all feel loose.
385
00:18:10,125 --> 00:18:11,591
And I think that one is blind.
386
00:18:11,626 --> 00:18:13,393
We'll have
to get him little sunglasses.
387
00:18:13,428 --> 00:18:17,196
Great, because dog-head/human-ears over
here doesn't react to anything I say.
388
00:18:17,232 --> 00:18:19,465
Hey! Hey, you!
389
00:18:19,501 --> 00:18:21,134
Okay, this one is deaf.
390
00:18:21,169 --> 00:18:23,769
We are going to be spending
a fortune on schools.
391
00:18:23,794 --> 00:18:25,805
How are we gonna pay for that?
Well, you tell me.
392
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:28,141
You're the one who insisted
I be a stay-at-home mom.
393
00:18:28,176 --> 00:18:30,610
I don't even have a job.
Well, you better get one.
394
00:18:30,645 --> 00:18:32,834
And not "writing."
A real job.
395
00:18:32,859 --> 00:18:34,691
Why are you being
such a jerk?
396
00:18:34,716 --> 00:18:36,549
I don't know.
I'm sorry. I just...
397
00:18:36,584 --> 00:18:41,054
I just feel like once I get them on a
schedule, everything will be fine.
398
00:18:46,561 --> 00:18:49,328
I can't believe we couldn't
come up with a viral video.
399
00:18:49,364 --> 00:18:51,931
We should've just gotten Jimmy
Fallon to do any lame thing.
400
00:18:53,528 --> 00:18:56,636
Coming up, a white waiter
at a Chinese restaurant?
401
00:18:56,671 --> 00:18:58,671
We'll get you the facts
on this bizarre story.
402
00:18:58,707 --> 00:19:00,713
But first,
this week's viral video,
403
00:19:00,738 --> 00:19:03,144
"Fat Kid Hustles
Through Crosswalk."
404
00:19:03,169 --> 00:19:06,504
Here it is. Here's little
Chubbo pulling up the rear.
405
00:19:07,882 --> 00:19:10,083
Oh, he's got to get moving now.
406
00:19:15,924 --> 00:19:19,092
That's right. Don't let your
chocolate levels get too low.
407
00:19:25,100 --> 00:19:28,067
I can't believe Chris gets four million
hits just crossing the street.
408
00:19:28,103 --> 00:19:30,069
I guess we were
trying too hard.
409
00:19:30,105 --> 00:19:32,405
Hey, I went by your house
the other day.
410
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,940
Is your baby pregnant?
411
00:19:33,975 --> 00:19:36,642
I don't know. Lois is
in charge of the kids.
412
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:46,183
Stewie, this is awful.
413
00:19:46,208 --> 00:19:47,887
I don't know why anyone
would want to be a parent,
414
00:19:47,922 --> 00:19:49,555
especially
to four children.
415
00:19:49,591 --> 00:19:51,557
Four? I thought
we were down to five.
416
00:19:51,593 --> 00:19:53,726
Yeah, the deaf one
didn't hear Joe's lawnmower.
417
00:19:53,762 --> 00:19:55,461
Oh. That's really upsetting.
418
00:19:55,497 --> 00:19:56,942
I-I can't take this
anymore, Stewie.
419
00:19:56,967 --> 00:19:58,349
I-I'm sorry. I got
to get out of here.
420
00:19:58,374 --> 00:20:01,144
What? Where are you going?
Stop doing that!
421
00:20:01,169 --> 00:20:04,504
I need a break, all right? I-I j... I
just got to get away for a couple weeks.
422
00:20:04,506 --> 00:20:07,682
A couple weeks? Y-You're not leaving
me alone with these things.
423
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:10,315
The whole point of this was for
us to spend more time together.
424
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:12,640
Wait, what are you talking
about? The whole point of what?
425
00:20:12,665 --> 00:20:14,791
Well, you've been so distant
lately.
426
00:20:14,816 --> 00:20:17,784
I thought if we had a baby it
would bring us closer together.
427
00:20:17,819 --> 00:20:21,187
What? I was only distant because
you've been so moody lately.
428
00:20:21,222 --> 00:20:24,357
I thought you needed more space. I
always want to hang out with you.
429
00:20:24,392 --> 00:20:26,392
Well, I was only moody
because you were so distant!
430
00:20:26,394 --> 00:20:28,361
I always want
to hang out with you, too!
431
00:20:28,396 --> 00:20:30,129
Oh, my God.
432
00:20:31,366 --> 00:20:34,000
So we didn't have
to do any of this.
433
00:20:34,035 --> 00:20:36,502
I-I guess not.
434
00:20:36,538 --> 00:20:38,104
How attached to them are you?
435
00:20:38,139 --> 00:20:40,006
Not at all.
Yeah, me either.
436
00:20:42,944 --> 00:20:44,377
This is for the best.
437
00:20:44,412 --> 00:20:46,112
Yeah, I mean, I'm sure
they'll be adopted.
438
00:20:46,147 --> 00:20:47,780
Oh, God, yeah.
439
00:20:47,816 --> 00:20:50,249
I'm still keeping all the gifts
from the baby shower.
440
00:20:50,285 --> 00:20:52,071
You had a baby shower?
441
00:20:52,096 --> 00:20:54,280
Oh!
442
00:20:54,305 --> 00:20:57,016
Now this makes it real!
443
00:20:57,041 --> 00:20:59,930
Oh, my goodness. That's enough
cake for you, Mary Beth.
444
00:21:01,011 --> 00:21:09,997
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606