1
00:00:02,280 --> 00:00:05,156
You know, the reason it's called
bull's-eye is because in early Spain,
2
00:00:05,169 --> 00:00:07,812
they'd throw darts
in the bulls' eyes,
3
00:00:07,832 --> 00:00:10,366
and that would make them run,
then Running of the Bulls so--
4
00:00:10,391 --> 00:00:11,324
Wow.
5
00:00:11,331 --> 00:00:12,817
- That makes sense.
- Crazy, huh?
6
00:00:12,824 --> 00:00:15,951
Blake, you might be the best
at making facts up, and I mean that.
7
00:00:15,957 --> 00:00:18,146
It's true--I saw it on
the History Channel.
8
00:00:18,159 --> 00:00:21,644
- You're up. - No, I can't. I threw out
my back last night fugging my Fleshlight.
9
00:00:21,656 --> 00:00:22,989
- That shouldn't happen.
- Oh, that'll happen.
10
00:00:23,002 --> 00:00:26,006
What sucks is I can't even afford
the back-upuncture to fix it.
11
00:00:26,019 --> 00:00:29,358
- It's like ObamaCare, right?
- Tell me about it.
12
00:00:30,090 --> 00:00:31,410
Unless...
13
00:00:31,437 --> 00:00:36,311
All right. Hum it in. Hum it in right here.
Der me dere, my brother.
14
00:00:36,323 --> 00:00:37,745
I don't know if this is--
15
00:00:37,772 --> 00:00:39,745
I could sever your spine
or something, right?
16
00:00:39,776 --> 00:00:41,569
No, there's too much
meat around it.
17
00:00:41,582 --> 00:00:44,584
Oh, yeah, and then he could have
a cool Professor X wheelchair.
18
00:00:44,603 --> 00:00:47,011
You guys, chill out.
Back-upuncture--
19
00:00:47,024 --> 00:00:48,404
It's just needles, correct?
20
00:00:48,417 --> 00:00:51,354
And what are darts...
but wing-ed needles?
21
00:00:51,366 --> 00:00:55,125
Okay? So just dip it in some
beer and disinfectant and then
22
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:58,136
- hum it in there!
- Yep. Uh...
23
00:00:58,161 --> 00:00:59,414
- On three.
- Whoo!
24
00:00:59,420 --> 00:01:01,231
One... two...
25
00:01:01,238 --> 00:01:02,601
- three--
- You know, on second thought--
26
00:01:02,613 --> 00:01:04,598
Oh! Aaah!
What the hell?
27
00:01:05,202 --> 00:01:06,382
Did you just
throw that dart?
28
00:01:06,388 --> 00:01:08,412
Nuh! He-hell, no!
29
00:01:08,424 --> 00:01:12,609
I got a dart...
hanging outta my face!
30
00:01:12,629 --> 00:01:14,927
Yes, you do.
But look at it this way--
31
00:01:14,933 --> 00:01:17,322
We just saved you a trip
to Clair's--am I right?
32
00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:18,952
- Ha ha ha.
- Ooh...
33
00:01:18,964 --> 00:01:20,410
- 'Cause...
- No?
34
00:01:20,427 --> 00:01:21,543
That's it.
You're dead!
35
00:01:29,384 --> 00:01:33,684
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
36
00:01:33,730 --> 00:01:35,263
- Whoa--
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
37
00:01:35,276 --> 00:01:37,075
- You guys gotta go.
- Get 'em outta here!
38
00:01:37,088 --> 00:01:40,050
Hey, hey, easy, easy, Keith.
They're with me.
39
00:01:40,070 --> 00:01:42,133
Sorry about that, Hillary.
40
00:01:42,146 --> 00:01:44,212
Just let me know
if you need anything.
41
00:01:44,232 --> 00:01:47,120
- Uh, well, how about a round
of lemon drops for us? - Yeah.
42
00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:49,336
And put all of Dart Face's
drinks on my tab.
43
00:01:49,342 --> 00:01:52,723
- How 'bout some chicken fingers?
- Yeah. Well, whatever you want.
44
00:01:54,932 --> 00:01:55,787
Okay.
45
00:01:55,792 --> 00:01:57,747
Thank you for saving
us with that guy.
46
00:01:57,759 --> 00:02:00,415
- Yeah. - Actually, you
kinda saved him from us,
47
00:02:00,428 --> 00:02:03,641
'cause I would have Taekwondo kicked
him right in the freakin' tummy,
48
00:02:03,660 --> 00:02:05,320
probably made him
dump out in his pants.
49
00:02:05,335 --> 00:02:06,928
Yep. Just poop all
over himself.
50
00:02:06,934 --> 00:02:08,749
Yeah, like Hong Kong Pooey.
51
00:02:08,769 --> 00:02:10,129
Very funny word play.
52
00:02:10,148 --> 00:02:12,313
- Oh, that's very funny!
- Points, points.
53
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:15,234
- Thanks. - That's awesome, because
normally, women aren't funny,
54
00:02:15,254 --> 00:02:18,036
- and that's a rule.
- Here you go, Miss Winthrop.
55
00:02:18,048 --> 00:02:18,969
- Thanks.
- All right.
56
00:02:18,982 --> 00:02:21,639
And working on those tenders
and those dipping sauces.
57
00:02:21,652 --> 00:02:23,981
- Thanks, man.
- Cheers, guys.
58
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,469
Cheers. Thank you.
59
00:02:25,489 --> 00:02:26,845
- I finished first.
- I'm sorry.
60
00:02:26,865 --> 00:02:29,912
Did he say Miss
Winthrop, as in...
61
00:02:29,925 --> 00:02:31,445
Ted Winthrop?
62
00:02:31,458 --> 00:02:33,292
Yeah, yeah, that's my dad.
63
00:02:33,318 --> 00:02:34,138
I'm Hillary.
64
00:02:34,164 --> 00:02:37,010
- This is my friend Jackie.
- Hi. Yeah, no--
65
00:02:37,036 --> 00:02:38,786
Your dad's the king
of Rancho!
66
00:02:38,806 --> 00:02:40,064
- Oh...
- Right? I mean...
67
00:02:40,085 --> 00:02:43,192
- Garbage trucks, gas stations,
Payless shoe stores. - Yep.
68
00:02:43,205 --> 00:02:45,262
Yeah, that's right!
The big three, huh?
69
00:02:45,281 --> 00:02:48,882
I'm sure Obama picks up his
phone calls pretty quick.
70
00:02:49,288 --> 00:02:52,463
If Obama would ever
pick up the damn phone!
71
00:02:52,488 --> 00:02:54,189
Keep the change!
72
00:02:55,585 --> 00:02:56,692
I didn't vote.
73
00:02:56,711 --> 00:02:59,049
Who votes? Do you guys want
to get some more drinks?
74
00:02:59,074 --> 00:03:00,421
Then we'll party
a little bit.
75
00:03:00,439 --> 00:03:01,525
- Yes!
- Whoo!
76
00:03:01,531 --> 00:03:03,525
- Yes!
- Let's party.
77
00:03:04,270 --> 00:03:04,924
Whoo!
78
00:03:04,943 --> 00:03:05,983
Beep! Beep-beep!
79
00:03:06,010 --> 00:03:08,001
♪ And I like you a lot ♪
80
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,242
♪ I think you're freaky,
and I like you a lot ♪
81
00:03:12,262 --> 00:03:15,886
♪ I think you're freaky,
and I like you a lot ♪
82
00:03:15,905 --> 00:03:18,853
♪ I think you're freaky,
and I like you a lot ♪
83
00:03:19,347 --> 00:03:22,546
♪
84
00:03:30,988 --> 00:03:31,815
Whoa!
85
00:03:31,835 --> 00:03:32,751
♪ I think you're freaky ♪
86
00:03:32,783 --> 00:03:35,290
- ♪ And I like you a lot ♪
- Oh, my God!
87
00:03:35,310 --> 00:03:37,139
I did that to a real girl!
88
00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:40,292
- We shut it down.
- That was really fun, guys.
89
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:41,385
I'm with you!
90
00:03:41,404 --> 00:03:43,242
Oh, back-- you
smell like puke.
91
00:03:43,255 --> 00:03:44,308
- Do I?
- Yeah.
92
00:03:44,321 --> 00:03:45,634
It's just my armpit.
93
00:03:47,610 --> 00:03:50,175
- No, no, no, no, no!
- Stop, dude.
94
00:03:50,194 --> 00:03:51,908
This might be a little
crazy, but...
95
00:03:51,921 --> 00:03:55,228
I'm going to my sister's
wedding this weekend, and
96
00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:57,675
I was wondering if maybe
you'd want to be my date.
97
00:03:58,256 --> 00:03:59,863
I do...
98
00:04:00,638 --> 00:04:06,009
Want to go with you, my sweet
m-m-mistress or lady or--
99
00:04:06,029 --> 00:04:07,827
My sweet lady!
100
00:04:08,303 --> 00:04:11,213
Well, you guys--you guys
are totally invited too.
101
00:04:11,226 --> 00:04:13,458
Oh, tight! Yes, I do.
102
00:04:13,471 --> 00:04:15,231
- That's sick!
- Well, uh...
103
00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:17,422
we'll see you there.
104
00:04:23,353 --> 00:04:24,798
Bye.
105
00:04:26,104 --> 00:04:27,097
Hillary, wait.
106
00:04:27,110 --> 00:04:29,656
- Hmm?
- I never caught your name.
107
00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:35,901
Um, I think... you did, 'cause
you-- well, you just said it.
108
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,748
Yeah, I know, I know. Okay!
No, I remember! All right.
109
00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:40,620
- Okay, I'll see you there.
- All right, later.
110
00:04:40,633 --> 00:04:41,980
Yeah, later, Sillary.
111
00:04:41,993 --> 00:04:43,967
- Take care.
- This is 'bout to be dope.
112
00:04:43,986 --> 00:04:46,872
Yeah, dude, are
you kidding me?
113
00:04:46,885 --> 00:04:48,949
A rich person's wedding--
like, come on, man.
114
00:04:48,962 --> 00:04:50,828
They probably serve, like,
tiger meat or something cool.
115
00:04:50,841 --> 00:04:54,701
Ho ho ho ho!
Hoo hoo hoo! Ooh!
116
00:04:54,728 --> 00:04:56,461
Well, we'll never
know, because...
117
00:04:56,488 --> 00:04:58,371
we ain't goin'.
118
00:04:59,178 --> 00:05:00,871
- Adam!
- Yo.
119
00:05:00,885 --> 00:05:03,042
- Hey, good morning.
- Morning.
120
00:05:03,707 --> 00:05:05,229
Now, I know you're
sick of hearing it,
121
00:05:05,235 --> 00:05:06,931
but if you'd just hear
me out one more time
122
00:05:06,951 --> 00:05:08,453
about why you should go
to this wedding...
123
00:05:08,459 --> 00:05:10,206
- Yeah.
- Yeah, check it out.
124
00:05:10,213 --> 00:05:11,600
All right, look.
125
00:05:11,612 --> 00:05:13,471
Here's you, all right?
126
00:05:13,490 --> 00:05:16,485
You go to the wedding.
You bring... me and Ders.
127
00:05:16,512 --> 00:05:18,065
- Me Ders!
- Here we are at the wedding!
128
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,817
We kill it.
We just destroy.
129
00:05:19,837 --> 00:05:22,208
'Cause everybody loves us
'cause we're great guys.
130
00:05:22,228 --> 00:05:24,088
The Winthrops--
they're hug fans!
131
00:05:24,101 --> 00:05:25,294
They're so much
fans they're like,
132
00:05:25,307 --> 00:05:27,953
"Dude, move in with
us at our house.
133
00:05:27,978 --> 00:05:30,073
"Have as much buffalo
chicken pizza
134
00:05:30,085 --> 00:05:32,533
"and videogames as you want.
You can retire early.
135
00:05:32,539 --> 00:05:34,028
"We don't care.
Live in our mansion.
136
00:05:34,041 --> 00:05:35,659
We're all one, big
happy family now."
137
00:05:35,678 --> 00:05:37,622
We win.
Life rules forever.
138
00:05:37,642 --> 00:05:38,861
That's the big picture, right?
139
00:05:38,867 --> 00:05:40,041
But let's talk
about the wedding.
140
00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:41,402
- Weddings rule, dude.
- Let's talk about it.
141
00:05:41,421 --> 00:05:43,711
They've got the best DJs--
you know I'll swing dance.
142
00:05:43,723 --> 00:05:46,252
And then let's talk
about garter belts, man.
143
00:05:46,272 --> 00:05:47,972
You know what they can
do for your life.
144
00:05:47,985 --> 00:05:49,785
I'm sick of being out there
on the market, you know?
145
00:05:49,798 --> 00:05:51,968
I got a dude-alogical
clock that's tickin'!
146
00:05:51,974 --> 00:05:54,078
I don't know, you guys.
That girl was, like....
147
00:05:54,602 --> 00:05:55,949
nasty!
148
00:05:55,955 --> 00:05:56,628
You know?
149
00:05:56,640 --> 00:06:01,712
With her disgusting, gross, greasy-looking
hair and, like, her pizza face,
150
00:06:01,731 --> 00:06:04,833
which just really creeped me out.
She was Iggly Putrid.
151
00:06:04,846 --> 00:06:06,393
Uh, she was very hot,
152
00:06:06,418 --> 00:06:07,966
and her hair game
was on point.
153
00:06:07,972 --> 00:06:10,026
I'm pretty sure she uses
Wen by Chaz Dean.
154
00:06:10,031 --> 00:06:12,278
Adam, do not Eff this up.
155
00:06:12,297 --> 00:06:14,391
I'm telling you, in
Steve Harvey's book,
156
00:06:14,410 --> 00:06:16,137
Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man,
157
00:06:16,157 --> 00:06:18,370
he says nothing compares
to a woman's love.
158
00:06:18,383 --> 00:06:20,686
- He says it!
- Are you denying his genius?
159
00:06:20,705 --> 00:06:23,167
I'm not denying his genius.
Steve Harvey is one.
160
00:06:23,193 --> 00:06:26,267
- Thank you. - I mean, he's the best host
Family Feud has ever had-- I'll admit that.
161
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,319
Mmm... Google Ray Combs
and get back to me, actually.
162
00:06:29,325 --> 00:06:30,981
Well, Richard Dawson,
on the other hand,
163
00:06:30,987 --> 00:06:32,987
was in Running Man and fingered
a bunch of those chicks.
164
00:06:32,999 --> 00:06:35,517
A Louie Anderson's a boss.
They had a lot of great hosts.
165
00:06:35,537 --> 00:06:36,371
- True.
- So true.
166
00:06:36,390 --> 00:06:38,999
But... I guess
I'm just like...
167
00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:42,006
scared or whatever.
168
00:06:42,038 --> 00:06:43,457
What are you scared of,
the conga line?
169
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:46,377
Come on, it's a frigging
wedding, you doofus!
170
00:06:46,390 --> 00:06:49,057
No, I'm not scared
of the conga line, Blake.
171
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:52,385
- Well, what? - I'm scared that
if I go to that wedding...
172
00:06:53,451 --> 00:06:56,958
she's gonna, like, fall for me love-style,
and we're gonna be boyf-girlf.
173
00:06:56,965 --> 00:06:59,745
And if we do that--
good-bye, Single Adam!
174
00:06:59,751 --> 00:07:01,192
And that means
good-bye us.
175
00:07:01,198 --> 00:07:02,972
Are you ready to say
good-bye to us?
176
00:07:02,978 --> 00:07:05,057
Is that what you
guys are ready for?
177
00:07:05,936 --> 00:07:07,074
I mean--
178
00:07:09,572 --> 00:07:11,095
- Let's get some of this chicken.
- Yeah.
179
00:07:12,438 --> 00:07:13,399
Hey, buddy.
180
00:07:13,425 --> 00:07:17,479
So maybe the end of Single
Adam isn't such a bad thing.
181
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:20,729
I mean, he's made some pretty
bad decisions in his life, huh?
182
00:07:20,748 --> 00:07:22,923
Yes, Single Adam has.
183
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:24,727
Remember, he did
eat that...
184
00:07:25,242 --> 00:07:27,169
toilet doughnut, and...
185
00:07:27,189 --> 00:07:28,622
got sick for a week.
186
00:07:28,635 --> 00:07:29,516
Two weeks.
187
00:07:29,528 --> 00:07:32,748
Single Adam did all those
whippets at a 2 Chainz concert
188
00:07:32,761 --> 00:07:35,176
and tried to put his pants
on a police horse, right?
189
00:07:35,195 --> 00:07:36,458
- 2 Chainz?
- Yeah.
190
00:07:36,464 --> 00:07:39,349
Hey, what if we send
Single Adam off in style?
191
00:07:39,368 --> 00:07:41,168
Throw him like a bachelor
party or something?
192
00:07:41,181 --> 00:07:43,246
- That's cool!
- When I was 12 years old,
193
00:07:43,259 --> 00:07:45,900
my grandma helped me write
a bachelor party wish list.
194
00:07:45,919 --> 00:07:50,489
If you guys help me get everything on
my list and I can have all my druthers,
195
00:07:50,502 --> 00:07:52,023
I will go to that
wedding with you.
196
00:07:52,042 --> 00:07:53,064
- Awesome.
- Yes! Yes!
197
00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:54,373
- That's cool.
- Let's do it.
198
00:07:54,385 --> 00:07:59,456
Okay, the list of my druthers...
in my vault--69, 69, 420.
199
00:07:59,469 --> 00:08:01,225
Just kidding.
It's a drawer.
200
00:08:01,238 --> 00:08:04,096
I keep it close by, 'cause you never
know when you're gonna get married.
201
00:08:04,121 --> 00:08:05,054
Sick.
202
00:08:05,074 --> 00:08:06,871
It's in cursive,
so this is hard for me.
203
00:08:06,891 --> 00:08:08,404
Okay. Well, take your time.
204
00:08:08,417 --> 00:08:10,508
"For his bachelor party."
205
00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:12,935
Well, she talks like this:
206
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,447
"For his bachelor party...
207
00:08:15,452 --> 00:08:17,924
"my grandson, Adam
DeMamp would like
208
00:08:17,937 --> 00:08:20,112
"shoot shotguns at things,
209
00:08:20,131 --> 00:08:22,190
"cut a wooden tree down,
210
00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:24,186
"drink with airplane pilots,
211
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:25,990
microwave a hamster..."
212
00:08:26,588 --> 00:08:28,235
You know, I think
I've outgrown that last one.
213
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,421
- Thank God.
- Okay, right.
214
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:33,651
And finally, "Get a lap
dance on a Gravitron."
215
00:08:35,756 --> 00:08:36,716
- Yeah.
- Okay!
216
00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:38,023
- Cool! Ab--mm-hmm.
- Yeah.
217
00:08:38,036 --> 00:08:42,135
If you guys could give me a few minutes,
I need to continue itching my leg.
218
00:08:42,148 --> 00:08:44,162
'Cause my leg
is super-itchy.
219
00:08:44,182 --> 00:08:45,782
- Sure.
- Bachelor party!
220
00:08:45,787 --> 00:08:48,119
- Bachelor party, baby!
- All right!
221
00:08:48,132 --> 00:08:49,706
- Okay.
- He was jacking off, right?
222
00:08:49,732 --> 00:08:51,459
I'm not--I was
not jacking off.
223
00:08:51,472 --> 00:08:55,346
Actually, I just have a rash on my
inner thigh that is questionable,
224
00:08:55,359 --> 00:08:57,513
and I need to rub
more cortisone on it.
225
00:09:05,903 --> 00:09:06,869
Range is hot!
226
00:09:06,882 --> 00:09:07,776
Pull...
227
00:09:07,789 --> 00:09:08,941
the refrigerator open.
228
00:09:08,961 --> 00:09:10,725
- Yep. All right.
- Whoo!
229
00:09:14,141 --> 00:09:15,328
Whoo!
230
00:09:15,338 --> 00:09:16,458
- Yes!
- Yay!
231
00:09:16,471 --> 00:09:18,023
That was awesome!
232
00:09:18,938 --> 00:09:20,626
- All right.
- Yeah!
233
00:09:20,939 --> 00:09:22,967
Mmmmm!
234
00:09:22,978 --> 00:09:25,922
You guys rule, man.
Hey, family secret:
235
00:09:25,928 --> 00:09:30,086
My mom actually had an affair
with a pilot for two years.
236
00:09:30,092 --> 00:09:32,202
He must have really
plowed her hard, too,
237
00:09:32,221 --> 00:09:35,074
because she was so happy
for those two years.
238
00:09:35,087 --> 00:09:37,259
The family was actually pretty
pumped that it was happening.
239
00:09:37,271 --> 00:09:39,637
My dad wasn't even pissed.
Hey...
240
00:09:41,055 --> 00:09:43,542
Could I fly one of
your guys's planes?
241
00:09:44,004 --> 00:09:47,151
No, I'm sorry, bud,
we can't do it.
242
00:09:47,163 --> 00:09:49,926
Well, what would you
do for 100 bones?
243
00:09:49,938 --> 00:09:51,605
- Yeah!
- I'm flying!
244
00:09:51,617 --> 00:09:55,378
- Yeah, you are.
- I'm flyiiiing!
245
00:09:56,164 --> 00:09:57,117
- Cool.
- Dude...
246
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,950
I'm having fun.
This is a fun bachelor party.
247
00:09:58,990 --> 00:10:02,627
- Yeah? - Okay, only one more
thing on my list of druthers...
248
00:10:02,646 --> 00:10:06,090
Riding a Gravitron
while getting a lap job.
249
00:10:06,103 --> 00:10:07,851
- Yeah, yeah, and...
- My dream.
250
00:10:07,864 --> 00:10:10,363
we seriously looked into
getting a Gravitron,
251
00:10:10,383 --> 00:10:11,823
- but it just--
- We didn't.
252
00:10:11,831 --> 00:10:13,857
It's a Gravitron.
We couldn't--
253
00:10:14,579 --> 00:10:18,005
You know what happens if I don't get
one of my druthers correct, brothers?
254
00:10:18,012 --> 00:10:19,297
Yes, we do, we do.
255
00:10:19,310 --> 00:10:24,254
But, dude, we got you a filthy stripper
that's like also hot who's got these moves
256
00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:26,334
that make you feel like
you're on the Gravitron.
257
00:10:26,347 --> 00:10:28,374
Totally, like she brings
a fan out and it,
258
00:10:28,399 --> 00:10:30,532
like, blows her hair,
and it's like... ahhh!
259
00:10:30,552 --> 00:10:33,700
And then her boobs go rrrrr
at mach 5 speeds!
260
00:10:33,706 --> 00:10:35,457
Unfortunately, one of
my druthers isn't met,
261
00:10:35,463 --> 00:10:37,091
so we're not going
to the wedding.
262
00:10:37,097 --> 00:10:39,779
Those were the rules that I've laid.
That's the gauntlet that I laid,
263
00:10:39,791 --> 00:10:41,799
and we can't spill
the gauntlet.
264
00:10:41,824 --> 00:10:43,837
I don't know if a gauntlet
is spillable or not.
265
00:10:43,856 --> 00:10:45,606
I truly don't even know
what a gauntlet is,
266
00:10:45,632 --> 00:10:48,567
but we didn't meet the druthers,
so we're not going to the wedding.
267
00:10:48,580 --> 00:10:50,160
- Mach 5.
- Take me home.
268
00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:57,857
Oh, my God, you guys!
269
00:10:59,971 --> 00:11:02,804
You guys Jamie Kennedy
Experimented me, did you not?
270
00:11:02,817 --> 00:11:05,651
I wish I could say we tried to X you,
but I can't, 'cause we did not.
271
00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:07,961
- Yeah, right. It's you!
- I'm serious.
272
00:11:07,974 --> 00:11:09,521
- For real?
- Yeah.
273
00:11:09,534 --> 00:11:10,951
Oh, there's a note.
274
00:11:12,829 --> 00:11:15,942
Okay, it's in cursive, so
this might take me a second.
275
00:11:15,949 --> 00:11:17,209
"Dear Adam,
276
00:11:17,221 --> 00:11:21,126
"only six people have ever
died on this Gravitron.
277
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:22,990
Just kidding, only two."
278
00:11:23,009 --> 00:11:24,503
- That's funny.
- Yeah.
279
00:11:24,529 --> 00:11:26,983
"Hope you got all
your droothers..."
280
00:11:26,995 --> 00:11:28,042
- Druthers.
- Druthers.
281
00:11:28,054 --> 00:11:29,508
- Yeah.
- Okay, that makes sense.
282
00:11:29,527 --> 00:11:31,900
"You deserve them. See you at
the wedding. Love, Hillary."
283
00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:34,049
That's the nicest thing
a chick's ever done for a dude
284
00:11:34,074 --> 00:11:35,787
- in the history of the world, right?
- Yeah.
285
00:11:35,793 --> 00:11:37,360
Almost, 'cause in
seventh grade,
286
00:11:37,372 --> 00:11:39,962
Melissa McDonald agreed
to look at my penis
287
00:11:39,964 --> 00:11:41,911
and my balls for 20
seconds straight.
288
00:11:41,917 --> 00:11:43,694
- Pretty nice.
- Yeah, during a school trip.
289
00:11:43,713 --> 00:11:44,561
- It was like...
- Very nice.
290
00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:46,172
- At that point--now this is.
- Ahem.
291
00:11:46,185 --> 00:11:48,932
- This might have taken first place.
- Hi.
292
00:11:48,957 --> 00:11:52,743
I'm Brooklyn, your dancer.
293
00:11:52,757 --> 00:11:55,164
Hello, Brooklyn.
I'm Blake.
294
00:11:55,177 --> 00:11:56,577
So, uh, some good news:
295
00:11:56,596 --> 00:11:58,523
Your job should be
pretty easy tonight
296
00:11:58,535 --> 00:12:01,068
since there won't be any
gravity holding your clothes on.
297
00:12:02,594 --> 00:12:06,107
It's a Gravitron! We're lookin' at some
booby 'cause of the Gravitron.
298
00:12:06,127 --> 00:12:09,128
- Totally. - Oh! This is gonna
be the best night of my life!
299
00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:10,513
Yes!
300
00:12:11,175 --> 00:12:12,936
Oh, ho, my God!
301
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:16,473
♪ I came down tip-toein'
in my Jordans ♪
302
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,020
Oh!
303
00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:22,175
♪ Tip-toein' in my foreign,
you motherfuckers borin' ♪
304
00:12:22,194 --> 00:12:24,319
♪ You sleeping on me snorin' ♪
305
00:12:24,345 --> 00:12:26,212
This is the best
time of my life!
306
00:12:26,219 --> 00:12:28,739
♪ Tip-toein' in my Jordans ♪
307
00:12:28,759 --> 00:12:32,796
♪ Came down tip-toein'
in my Jordans ♪
308
00:12:32,801 --> 00:12:36,403
♪ Just copped a Porsche,
tip-toein' in my foreign ♪
309
00:12:36,416 --> 00:12:38,215
♪ You motherfuckers borin' ♪
310
00:12:38,853 --> 00:12:40,405
This is awesome.
311
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:43,411
This has been a dream of mine since I heard
about it in the Penthouse letters.
312
00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:47,927
- Yeah? - My grandma used to read them
to me so I could fall asleep more easily.
313
00:12:47,946 --> 00:12:50,740
You all right down there?
'Cause you're not hard.
314
00:12:50,746 --> 00:12:52,399
That's very
unlike my dick.
315
00:12:52,419 --> 00:12:54,364
Normally it's just like...
ahhhhhhh!
316
00:12:54,383 --> 00:12:57,050
- Pfft, pfft, spitting all over the place,
you know? - Yeah, but it's not...
317
00:12:57,062 --> 00:12:59,596
No. It's like an old
taxidermied snake.
318
00:12:59,603 --> 00:13:01,263
- But it isn't.
- Scared.
319
00:13:01,276 --> 00:13:03,365
Oh, wow, I don't...
320
00:13:03,384 --> 00:13:06,193
Oh, my God.
You know what it is?
321
00:13:06,199 --> 00:13:09,082
I'm in love.
Guys, I'm in love!
322
00:13:09,101 --> 00:13:10,416
- Oh!
- That's what's happening.
323
00:13:10,435 --> 00:13:12,500
That's why my hog
isn't hard right now,
324
00:13:12,513 --> 00:13:14,000
'cause I'm so in
love with Hillary.
325
00:13:14,006 --> 00:13:17,008
Of course I'm in love with her-- she
gave me a freaking Gravitron, right?
326
00:13:17,027 --> 00:13:19,315
- Yeah. That's beautiful!
- It's cool!
327
00:13:19,321 --> 00:13:21,870
I don't even like this
super babe of a stripper!
328
00:13:21,883 --> 00:13:23,096
No offense. Here.
329
00:13:23,698 --> 00:13:25,465
I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.
330
00:13:25,478 --> 00:13:28,898
- Just for a minute. I need to spend
some alone time with my guys. - Sure.
331
00:13:28,911 --> 00:13:30,624
This might be the last
time it's just us,
332
00:13:30,642 --> 00:13:33,738
- you know, since I'm gonna be a freakin'
basically married dude. - I'll just...
333
00:13:34,478 --> 00:13:37,378
Thank you for doing your
stuff with your body.
334
00:13:37,391 --> 00:13:38,076
Namaste.
335
00:13:38,096 --> 00:13:39,647
I normally love
glittered women.
336
00:13:39,666 --> 00:13:42,382
- It's no offense.
- Thank you.
337
00:13:43,467 --> 00:13:45,100
- Uh-oh.
- And then there were three!
338
00:13:45,113 --> 00:13:46,787
Right?
339
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,335
And if you're real quiet,
you can hear wedding bells!
340
00:13:49,361 --> 00:13:51,547
- You sure can.
- I can't hear 'em.
341
00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,549
Oh, man, I am so
sad to see you go,
342
00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:55,875
but then again, I'm happy,
343
00:13:55,900 --> 00:13:58,882
'cause we're probably gonna be living
together in a mansion with a butler,
344
00:13:58,888 --> 00:14:01,464
playing video games,
not working ever!
345
00:14:01,483 --> 00:14:04,177
Well, thank you guys so much.
And thank you for, like,
346
00:14:04,196 --> 00:14:06,452
doing all this stuff
and giving me all my druthers.
347
00:14:06,485 --> 00:14:09,052
- I really appreciate it!
- Aah!
348
00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:12,674
Ahh ho ho ho!
Oh, that was awesome!
349
00:14:12,688 --> 00:14:14,703
- You're out of your mind.
- That was awesome!
350
00:14:14,723 --> 00:14:16,652
Hey... to Single Adam!
351
00:14:16,671 --> 00:14:18,545
- Yay!
- Yeah!
352
00:14:18,572 --> 00:14:21,130
- I'll drink to that, dude.
- Signing off.
353
00:14:22,773 --> 00:14:23,920
Forever.
354
00:14:39,296 --> 00:14:40,596
Wake up!
355
00:14:40,616 --> 00:14:43,339
You guys have been in
here for like six hours.
356
00:14:43,358 --> 00:14:44,214
I need to be paid.
357
00:14:44,234 --> 00:14:46,618
Ah... hey, what time is it?
358
00:14:46,631 --> 00:14:47,738
It's 10:00 am.
359
00:14:47,751 --> 00:14:48,852
- Okay--no.
- What?
360
00:14:48,864 --> 00:14:50,832
I gave you my credit
card last night.
361
00:14:50,837 --> 00:14:53,012
Yeah, you did, and you
got declined.
362
00:14:53,037 --> 00:14:54,545
You're maxed out.
363
00:14:54,565 --> 00:14:56,890
- So somebody owes me.
- You know what?
364
00:14:56,903 --> 00:14:57,969
I owe you.
365
00:14:57,982 --> 00:15:00,642
You owe me a lot of
money, actually, yeah.
366
00:15:00,655 --> 00:15:01,954
What is your real name?
367
00:15:02,510 --> 00:15:03,870
Why do you want
to know that?
368
00:15:03,889 --> 00:15:07,513
Because I need to go to that church
and tell my future girlfriend
369
00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:10,075
the name of the woman
I already cheated on her with.
370
00:15:10,088 --> 00:15:12,429
What? No. Why would
you do that--don't do that.
371
00:15:12,435 --> 00:15:13,595
No, I have to.
372
00:15:13,615 --> 00:15:15,488
I can't start this new
chapter of my life
373
00:15:15,501 --> 00:15:18,290
without being forgiven for
these past indiscretions.
374
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:20,852
Getting a lapper from her,
all those other lappers.
375
00:15:20,859 --> 00:15:22,546
Like so many lappers.
376
00:15:22,572 --> 00:15:24,026
We've gotten so
many lappers!
377
00:15:24,039 --> 00:15:25,683
What are you talking about?
Don't be weird, dude.
378
00:15:25,702 --> 00:15:27,163
Promise me you won't
ruin this for me.
379
00:15:27,175 --> 00:15:29,309
I'm trying to retire
early, man.
380
00:15:29,322 --> 00:15:30,978
That's a little selfish, Blake.
381
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,220
But, yeah... I promise.
382
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,867
I promise that I...
383
00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:37,020
won't be late
to the wedding.
384
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:38,781
- Come on, Ad--
- Adam--
385
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:40,888
- I can't--
- Don't push me!
386
00:15:40,913 --> 00:15:42,365
- Just pay me.
- Oh... oh!
387
00:15:42,371 --> 00:15:43,791
- Aah! Aah!
- Here it comes again!
388
00:15:43,824 --> 00:15:45,672
- Aah!
- Aah!
389
00:15:45,692 --> 00:15:48,342
It's not on anymore.
390
00:15:49,212 --> 00:15:50,306
- Oh.
- Yeah.
391
00:15:53,435 --> 00:15:55,841
♪
392
00:15:56,223 --> 00:15:57,924
Yep.
393
00:15:57,949 --> 00:15:59,210
Oh!
394
00:15:59,233 --> 00:16:01,693
Don't-- don't you do it!
395
00:16:01,706 --> 00:16:05,742
Or do do it, but just wait till after
the garter belt's been tossed.
396
00:16:05,755 --> 00:16:06,902
When am I gonna get paid?
397
00:16:06,921 --> 00:16:09,380
Jesus, Brooklyn, is stripping
just about money to you?
398
00:16:09,393 --> 00:16:13,092
- Yeah. - I'm sorry, guys,
but you can't stop love!
399
00:16:13,111 --> 00:16:15,097
My whole entire family
fortune's in there!
400
00:16:15,116 --> 00:16:16,750
- Adam, stop!
- Wait, wait--
401
00:16:16,769 --> 00:16:17,864
No!
402
00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:22,378
You're being totally selfish.
403
00:16:22,384 --> 00:16:23,898
You guys just don't want
to see me happy!
404
00:16:23,918 --> 00:16:25,765
And you don't even
understand relationships!
405
00:16:25,777 --> 00:16:26,950
Only me and Steve
Harvey do!
406
00:16:26,970 --> 00:16:29,490
Dude, causing a friendship
family feud, dude--
407
00:16:29,516 --> 00:16:31,290
Steve Harvey would
never do that!
408
00:16:31,290 --> 00:16:33,215
No--ha ha ha ha!
409
00:16:33,228 --> 00:16:34,804
Adam! You get
away from here.
410
00:16:34,816 --> 00:16:36,810
Today's not about you, okay?
It's about two people--
411
00:16:36,823 --> 00:16:39,432
The bride and the stud who
catches the garter belt!
412
00:16:39,444 --> 00:16:42,524
Ow! Oh!
You back-upunctured me!
413
00:16:42,530 --> 00:16:44,447
And it didn't even hurt.
In fact...
414
00:16:44,903 --> 00:16:46,370
It helped my hip.
415
00:16:47,493 --> 00:16:48,400
Come on!
416
00:16:53,284 --> 00:16:55,244
Stop stopping my love!
417
00:16:55,257 --> 00:16:58,024
- What the hell are you doing?
- Oh, you just said hell!
418
00:16:58,030 --> 00:16:59,532
We're in church, dude.
You're going to hell!
419
00:16:59,558 --> 00:17:01,651
People say hell in churches
all the time--you just said it.
420
00:17:01,663 --> 00:17:04,165
Hey! What's going
on up there?
421
00:17:04,178 --> 00:17:05,647
Um... ow!
422
00:17:05,673 --> 00:17:07,740
- Hey, you okay, dude?
- Stop the wedding!
423
00:17:07,753 --> 00:17:08,891
- Stop the wedding!
- Wait--
424
00:17:08,911 --> 00:17:10,251
It is stopped!
425
00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,907
Now, will someone please tell me
what the hell is going on up there?
426
00:17:12,913 --> 00:17:14,860
Ah ha... he just said hell.
427
00:17:14,873 --> 00:17:16,540
- Adam, you made it!
- Oh...
428
00:17:16,553 --> 00:17:19,192
Mom, Dad, um,
that's my date.
429
00:17:19,211 --> 00:17:20,352
What it is.
430
00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:21,886
You know this clown?
431
00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:23,315
Mr. Winthrop,
432
00:17:24,029 --> 00:17:25,431
I would like...
433
00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:28,494
to ask for your daughter's hand
in being my girlfriend.
434
00:17:28,956 --> 00:17:29,719
But...
435
00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:31,921
before I do that,
I have to come clean
436
00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:35,214
about some very dastardly
deeds that I have done.
437
00:17:35,227 --> 00:17:37,716
I've gotta be real.
I've gotta be honest,
438
00:17:37,735 --> 00:17:39,469
- and I've gotta be open...
- He doesn't.
439
00:17:39,482 --> 00:17:41,735
- ...with everyone in the church!
- You don't, you don't.
440
00:17:41,748 --> 00:17:44,924
- Stop!
- Last night, I got a lap job,
441
00:17:44,944 --> 00:17:47,500
which is sort of like
a lap dance but more sexual,
442
00:17:47,506 --> 00:17:48,849
by a girl named Brooklyn.
443
00:17:48,862 --> 00:17:50,089
Oh, that's me!
444
00:17:50,734 --> 00:17:53,338
I'm Brooklyn.
I'm the stripper.
445
00:17:53,344 --> 00:17:55,085
- But we did not have sex.
- We didn't--
446
00:17:55,105 --> 00:17:56,778
- He couldn't get it hard.
- Okay, that's not--
447
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:59,647
Evidently, I'm having a hard
time getting hard as of late,
448
00:17:59,666 --> 00:18:01,331
but I hope your
daughter changes that.
449
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:11,241
You wanna tell me what
the hell you're doing here?
450
00:18:11,254 --> 00:18:13,521
Sir, I need
to let you know
451
00:18:13,539 --> 00:18:16,133
that I did not get hard
during that lap dance
452
00:18:16,153 --> 00:18:20,697
because the love for your
daughter killed my boner.
453
00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:22,797
Also, I once killed
a turtle with--
454
00:18:22,828 --> 00:18:25,570
- Stop talking.
- No, Daddy, Daddy.
455
00:18:25,585 --> 00:18:27,332
That's my boyfriend Adam.
456
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:30,341
- Boyfriend?
- Yeah.
457
00:18:30,347 --> 00:18:31,648
What is this about?
458
00:18:31,673 --> 00:18:33,683
Daddy, I'm just trying
to make you proud.
459
00:18:33,709 --> 00:18:35,924
I mean, you were the one
that said I was confused
460
00:18:35,937 --> 00:18:38,547
when I said that I was a lesbian
and in love with Jackie,
461
00:18:38,572 --> 00:18:42,339
and you wanted me to date guys, so
I picked a guy, and this is my guy.
462
00:18:42,351 --> 00:18:44,664
- She picked me!
- Get over here.
463
00:18:44,683 --> 00:18:47,488
- Get over here.
- Stop, stop, stop it!
464
00:18:47,507 --> 00:18:49,772
Stop it! Okay, okay,
you've made your point.
465
00:18:49,798 --> 00:18:52,951
- Huh?
- If you like Jackie that much, then...
466
00:18:53,796 --> 00:18:54,750
be with Jackie.
467
00:18:54,761 --> 00:18:57,790
Oh, God, thank you. Thank you.
Please get off of me.
468
00:18:58,328 --> 00:19:00,209
Jesus, that was gross.
469
00:19:00,229 --> 00:19:02,065
Oh, she's being
funny again.
470
00:19:02,091 --> 00:19:05,851
That's why we love Hillary--she's so
funny, and for a woman, too.
471
00:19:05,871 --> 00:19:06,951
Oh, my God.
472
00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:08,948
It's not a comedy
routine, dude.
473
00:19:08,969 --> 00:19:10,962
You're a horrible person.
474
00:19:10,972 --> 00:19:12,928
- I love you.
- I love you.
475
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:14,514
I love you. I love you.
476
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,805
They can be as miserable
as the rest of us.
477
00:19:16,818 --> 00:19:18,234
Stop it. Don't hit
me with the bouquet.
478
00:19:18,260 --> 00:19:20,951
I'm sorry--can we get
back to my wedding?
479
00:19:20,977 --> 00:19:25,140
- Oh, it's all about you, isn't it?
- Okay, okay, you guys are outta here.
480
00:19:25,153 --> 00:19:26,887
Great call. Love where
your head's at.
481
00:19:26,906 --> 00:19:29,035
I'm wondering if, before we get
the wheels really turning,
482
00:19:29,055 --> 00:19:31,725
- you could throw out the...
- garter belt?
483
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:33,798
No! Get out!
484
00:19:33,811 --> 00:19:35,418
Totally.
I just... need it!
485
00:19:35,438 --> 00:19:37,038
- No!
- Hey, hey, hey!
486
00:19:37,058 --> 00:19:38,840
Daddy!
487
00:19:40,329 --> 00:19:41,842
Get off! Get off!
488
00:19:41,875 --> 00:19:43,282
- Get off!
- Define lesbian!
489
00:19:43,296 --> 00:19:45,469
You know what? I think it
worked out for the best.
490
00:19:45,489 --> 00:19:48,729
I'm 25--I'm too young
to have my first girlfriend.
491
00:19:48,749 --> 00:19:50,416
True man. Yeah, you
dodged a bullet, dude.
492
00:19:50,435 --> 00:19:51,969
- Hello.
- What?
493
00:19:51,982 --> 00:19:57,141
Still here. Still need money for all the...
lappers that we did.
494
00:19:57,154 --> 00:19:58,468
- Yes, uh...
- All the lappers.
495
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:01,315
And I still don't
have any money.
496
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:04,632
Well, my friend is getting
married next weekend.
497
00:20:04,652 --> 00:20:06,812
So maybe...
498
00:20:06,835 --> 00:20:10,572
Oh! You... you want me to go
as your date as payment.
499
00:20:10,592 --> 00:20:11,832
Yeah, of course!
500
00:20:11,845 --> 00:20:13,579
- Yeah, that's smart.
- Sick!
501
00:20:13,599 --> 00:20:15,870
Uh... not exactly.
502
00:20:16,852 --> 00:20:19,005
Hello, everyone, and welcome.
503
00:20:19,024 --> 00:20:22,284
We are gathered here
today to celebrate...
504
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:24,456
Ugh! Ughhh!
505
00:20:27,210 --> 00:20:30,234
Oh! Oh! The holy spirit
has taken over me!
506
00:20:30,246 --> 00:20:32,380
Oh! Oh!
507
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,560
Uh-oh! Uh-oh! Uh-oh!
508
00:20:34,573 --> 00:20:37,593
Come on!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
509
00:20:39,422 --> 00:20:41,209
I'm really bad.
I know I'm going to hell.
510
00:20:41,229 --> 00:20:43,807
But I been told my dick's so good
it gotta be goin' to heaven.
511
00:20:43,813 --> 00:20:46,333
Oh! Take my dick to heaven!
512
00:20:46,349 --> 00:20:51,349
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