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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,126 --> 00:00:11,970
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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♪ Family Guy 13x13 ♪
Dr. C and the Women
Original Air Date on March 15, 2015
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00:00:32,076 --> 00:00:35,152
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606
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ANNOUNCER: Hey! Are you a big, fat bastard
who loves eating at Outback Steakhouse,
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00:00:39,263 --> 00:00:41,629
but thinks the portions
are too small?
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Well, good news, fatass, 'cause now
there's the Outback Steakhouse Extreme!
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00:00:46,669 --> 00:00:50,442
We don't have a Bloomin' Onion,
we have a Bloomin' Pumpkin!
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00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:51,865
You know what else we got?
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00:00:51,890 --> 00:00:55,083
Elephant steaks!
50-pound elephant steaks!
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00:00:55,117 --> 00:00:58,319
And why don't you wash it down
with 40 ounces of malt liquor
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00:00:58,344 --> 00:01:00,297
and ranch dressing,
you fat (bleep)!
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00:01:00,327 --> 00:01:02,524
Outback Steakhouse Extreme!
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00:01:02,549 --> 00:01:05,420
Punish! Your! Toilet!
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00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:09,308
Aw, man, I bet that's where
Crocodile Dundee eats every night.
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00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:12,236
Everything in Australia
is so fancy.
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00:01:12,261 --> 00:01:14,268
Yeah, Australia's
a beautiful place.
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00:01:14,293 --> 00:01:17,153
The best thing about going there is you
get to fly over the Pacific Ocean.
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00:01:17,187 --> 00:01:18,953
The greatest ocean
of all time.
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00:01:18,987 --> 00:01:20,726
(scoffs)
Tell me you're joking.
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00:01:20,751 --> 00:01:24,147
Everyone knows that, pound for pound,
the Atlantic is the best ocean.
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00:01:24,172 --> 00:01:25,461
"Pound for pound"?
30
00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:27,421
What are you talking about?
You can't weigh the ocean.
31
00:01:27,446 --> 00:01:31,171
Yeah, scientists can. They're doing
it all the time. Pick up a book.
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00:01:31,196 --> 00:01:32,737
You're an idiot!
I'm an idiot?
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All anybody remembers about your
argument is that you're in a wheelchair!
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00:01:36,202 --> 00:01:38,546
(grunting)
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00:01:38,571 --> 00:01:42,911
Guys, guys... Let's stop escalatin'
and take the stairs for a minute.
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00:01:42,945 --> 00:01:44,375
What?
What are you talking about?
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00:01:44,416 --> 00:01:46,542
I'm saying you both
are making good points.
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00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:49,316
But sometimes two rights
can make a wrong.
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00:01:49,350 --> 00:01:51,579
I just... I just like
the Pacific Ocean!
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00:01:51,613 --> 00:01:54,513
It's a good ocean. And
so is the Atlantic.
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00:01:54,547 --> 00:01:57,752
Isn't this a beautiful planet
you two friends live on?
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00:01:57,786 --> 00:01:59,056
(sighs)
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00:01:59,091 --> 00:02:01,825
I guess Cleveland's right. I'm
sorry I got so hotheaded.
44
00:02:01,859 --> 00:02:04,994
I'm sorry, too. Here, let me
turn your foot back around.
45
00:02:05,028 --> 00:02:06,994
It kind of got twisted up
in our scuffle there.
46
00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:08,567
Wow, Cleveland.
47
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:12,109
You calmed them down just by talking
with your mouth and your pretty lips.
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00:02:12,134 --> 00:02:15,203
Oh, it's nothin'. Just a little
something I learned volunteering
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00:02:15,237 --> 00:02:17,340
as a youth counselor
down at my church.
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00:02:17,374 --> 00:02:20,649
Pretty much just boils down
to four or five catchphrases.
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00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,623
Like what? Well, there's
the "stop escalatin'" one.
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00:02:23,648 --> 00:02:27,022
There's "What do you think it
means?" "Pray on it, stay on it."
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00:02:27,056 --> 00:02:30,413
One's just kind of like a noise:
Hmm... mmm?
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00:02:30,438 --> 00:02:34,045
That's amazing. Hey, you're way too
good to be doing that for free.
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Maybe you should open up an office.
You know, finally start chipping away
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00:02:37,259 --> 00:02:38,982
at some of that horrendous
debt you've got.
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00:02:39,007 --> 00:02:41,566
Yeah, Peter's right. I mean,
it's not like you've found a job
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00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,070
since you moved
back here anyway.
59
00:02:43,104 --> 00:02:45,469
You know, that's
a not-half-bad idea.
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00:02:45,503 --> 00:02:50,276
And if I charge my first patient
$117,000, I'm right back in it.
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00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:52,707
Thanks for spotting
my potential, Peter!
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00:02:52,749 --> 00:02:55,020
Hey, no problem, buddy.
I'm pretty perceptive.
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00:02:55,045 --> 00:02:56,935
That's how I can
always tell which guys
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00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,590
in the Wrangler Jeans
commercials beat their wives.
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00:02:59,615 --> 00:03:01,484
All of 'em.
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00:03:08,386 --> 00:03:10,306
Go around the block again,
she's still out front.
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00:03:10,331 --> 00:03:12,644
We've gone around six times.
Let's just talk to her.
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00:03:12,669 --> 00:03:16,001
Eh, you're right. Rip it off
quick, like a Band-Aid.
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00:03:16,034 --> 00:03:18,495
Hey, Meg, you know
Mr. Quagmire, right? Bye!
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00:03:18,537 --> 00:03:20,263
Hey, what's
going on here?
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00:03:20,305 --> 00:03:23,103
Oh, I'm selling my old Beanie
Babies to make money for the prom.
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00:03:23,137 --> 00:03:26,276
That seems optimistic. But look,
if you want to make real money,
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00:03:26,301 --> 00:03:27,903
I could try to get you
a job at the airport.
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00:03:27,928 --> 00:03:29,605
They always need
new TSA screeners.
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00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:33,076
Really? Wow, that'd be great!
Thanks, Mr. Quagmire.
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00:03:33,110 --> 00:03:34,812
And thanks for
taking the time.
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00:03:34,846 --> 00:03:37,283
Most people aren't
usually that nice to me.
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00:03:39,284 --> 00:03:41,314
Ugh, gross.
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00:03:45,322 --> 00:03:48,262
Mayor West, after working
with you for some time now,
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00:03:48,287 --> 00:03:51,306
I believe you are affecting
your weird behaviors.
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00:03:51,331 --> 00:03:53,791
You are doing
deliberately odd things
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00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:57,112
to mask dark,
maybe even criminal, activities.
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00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,439
You are 100% aware
of what you're doing.
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00:03:59,464 --> 00:04:01,831
I think you're
a dangerous sociopath.
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00:04:01,873 --> 00:04:05,301
Cleveland, let me
tell you something.
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00:04:05,335 --> 00:04:09,307
(quietly):
You're absolutely (bleep) right.
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00:04:09,341 --> 00:04:12,305
Well, time to put
on my spaghetti hat!
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00:04:17,326 --> 00:04:21,260
I just never feel happy. I strive
for these things, and I get them,
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00:04:21,285 --> 00:04:24,119
but at the end of the day,
I still don't feel fulfilled.
90
00:04:24,153 --> 00:04:25,370
Hmm.
91
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:29,269
This is a problem that
requires more tweed.
92
00:04:31,586 --> 00:04:34,787
Is it possible you're not
letting yourself be happy?
93
00:04:34,812 --> 00:04:36,844
Like you don't feel
like you're worth it?
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00:04:36,878 --> 00:04:38,508
No, that's not it.
95
00:04:38,550 --> 00:04:39,876
Hmm.
96
00:04:42,139 --> 00:04:44,623
Maybe your accomplishments
don't feel real
97
00:04:44,648 --> 00:04:46,685
because your brother
isn't here to see them.
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00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:50,125
Maybe... That doesn't
feel quite right, either.
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00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:52,291
Hmm.
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00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:54,858
You don't want to
outshine your father.
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00:04:54,892 --> 00:04:57,561
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
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00:04:57,595 --> 00:05:01,201
Whew.
I was damn near out of tweed.
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00:05:12,175 --> 00:05:15,878
Okay, now, see? She didn't
say "good morning" to me,
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00:05:15,912 --> 00:05:18,246
so I put an orange dot
on her boarding pass,
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00:05:18,271 --> 00:05:20,590
which means they're going
to search her anus.
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00:05:20,615 --> 00:05:23,152
I noticed you also circled a
bunch of things on her ticket.
107
00:05:23,177 --> 00:05:24,256
Why did you
do that?
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00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:26,587
Because otherwise,
the line moves too quickly.
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00:05:26,612 --> 00:05:31,361
You see, the whole thing we're going for
here at the TSA is a sort of bored fascism.
110
00:05:31,395 --> 00:05:33,401
Huh.
I think I can handle that.
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00:05:33,435 --> 00:05:35,834
I did not tell
you to approach!
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00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:38,835
Great job! The worst
thing a passenger can do
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00:05:38,877 --> 00:05:40,984
is approach your podium
before you tell them to.
114
00:05:41,009 --> 00:05:43,039
As bad as those
19 hijackers were,
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00:05:43,064 --> 00:05:46,047
the people we see here
every day are much worse.
116
00:05:46,072 --> 00:05:48,142
Boy, Larry, there's
a lot to remember.
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00:05:48,167 --> 00:05:50,020
I... I hope I don't
screw something up.
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00:05:50,054 --> 00:05:52,220
Trust me, you have
nothing to worry about.
119
00:05:52,254 --> 00:05:54,589
You're basically un-fireable.
What do you mean?
120
00:05:54,623 --> 00:05:58,061
Come on, Meg. Look around. You're
the hottest person who works here.
121
00:06:01,856 --> 00:06:05,922
Oh, wow. Now that you mention it,
everybody does look kind of dumpy.
122
00:06:05,947 --> 00:06:07,610
That's not entirely
their fault.
123
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:10,089
They're all told to wear
a pair of their dads' pants.
124
00:06:10,114 --> 00:06:14,247
Oh, speaking of which, tomorrow,
bring in a pair of your dad's pants.
125
00:06:18,248 --> 00:06:21,286
Peter, you promised me
you would do the dishes.
126
00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,226
Well, I was doing the
dishes for a while,
127
00:06:23,251 --> 00:06:25,930
but they were inexperienced
so I ended up having to rub one out.
128
00:06:25,955 --> 00:06:27,895
Where in the hell did
you get the idea that
129
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,759
that's what I meant by
"doing the dishes"?
130
00:06:29,793 --> 00:06:32,062
From Dirty Amelia Bedelia.
131
00:06:32,096 --> 00:06:35,897
Almost done vacuuming the rug!
132
00:06:35,922 --> 00:06:38,058
Dammit, Peter!
You're making me crazy!
133
00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:40,412
Well, you know what? Sounds
like you need some counseling.
134
00:06:40,446 --> 00:06:41,953
Maybe you should go
talk to Cleveland.
135
00:06:41,977 --> 00:06:44,164
Cleveland? Why would
I talk to Cleveland?
136
00:06:44,189 --> 00:06:47,639
He's a therapist now, and he's really great
at helping people with their problems.
137
00:06:47,664 --> 00:06:51,022
Oh, I see. You want me
to tell your best friend
138
00:06:51,056 --> 00:06:53,255
my complaints about you
so he can back you up.
139
00:06:53,297 --> 00:06:55,264
STEWIE:
The new maid is peeing on me!
140
00:06:55,298 --> 00:06:57,549
And she didn't even say
anything clever about it!
141
00:06:57,574 --> 00:06:59,574
Look, you're the one who said
you were going crazy.
142
00:06:59,599 --> 00:07:02,274
Just talk to him. He's all
about helping people get well.
143
00:07:02,309 --> 00:07:03,874
Just like Doc Martens.
144
00:07:03,908 --> 00:07:05,987
So, how are you feeling today?
145
00:07:06,012 --> 00:07:09,913
Terrible. I've got blurry vision.
I feel cold and clammy.
146
00:07:09,938 --> 00:07:12,439
And the nurse told me
there's blood in my stool.
147
00:07:12,464 --> 00:07:14,556
Have you tried
wearing a lesbian shoe?
148
00:07:14,581 --> 00:07:17,353
What? Put this man down for
a pair of lesbian shoes.
149
00:07:19,556 --> 00:07:24,335
Huh. High fever, weight loss, and
extreme respiratory difficulty.
150
00:07:24,369 --> 00:07:27,938
Let's have this man intubated and
fit with a pair of lesbian shoes.
151
00:07:32,551 --> 00:07:34,482
Hi. Are you the
next crazy person?
152
00:07:34,516 --> 00:07:38,444
Um, I guess so. I've been pretty
depressed since my wife died.
153
00:07:38,469 --> 00:07:41,522
I'm sorry, I'm tryin' to read
the Costco Connection here.
154
00:07:41,556 --> 00:07:44,431
There they are! All right,
since you're a patient,
155
00:07:44,456 --> 00:07:46,090
we're gonna talk about you
like you're not here.
156
00:07:46,124 --> 00:07:47,938
You get all of her
squawkin' out, Doc?
157
00:07:47,963 --> 00:07:50,330
Oh, I think we got to
the root of the problem.
158
00:07:50,364 --> 00:07:52,530
Didn't we, Lois?
Absolutely.
159
00:07:52,564 --> 00:07:55,196
All right, let's dope her up good.
Turn that mouth off.
160
00:07:55,221 --> 00:07:57,380
No, Peter, the problem is you.
161
00:07:57,405 --> 00:08:01,371
What? What the hell are you doing?
You're supposed to be my friend.
162
00:08:01,405 --> 00:08:05,814
Dr. Brown,
I just killed nine people!
163
00:08:05,839 --> 00:08:08,752
Uh, I mean, I have
ducks on my feet.
164
00:08:08,777 --> 00:08:10,952
Old, crazy harmless mayor.
165
00:08:10,994 --> 00:08:12,592
Quack quack!
166
00:08:19,552 --> 00:08:21,519
How can Cleveland say
I'm the problem?
167
00:08:21,544 --> 00:08:24,021
All I do is sit in the
bathroom and play on my phone.
168
00:08:24,055 --> 00:08:26,421
PETER: Swipe... wipe...
swipe... wipe...
169
00:08:26,455 --> 00:08:28,820
wipe... swipe...
Uh-oh.
170
00:08:28,854 --> 00:08:33,024
That's a perfect example. You put
no effort into this marriage.
171
00:08:33,049 --> 00:08:35,609
Cleveland helped me see
that our entire relationship
172
00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:39,107
has been you doing whatever you
want and me cleaning up the mess.
173
00:08:39,132 --> 00:08:42,889
By the way, your Svengali is out
there spraying birds with a hose.
174
00:08:42,914 --> 00:08:45,682
Ha ha!
Now you're wet!
175
00:08:45,716 --> 00:08:47,347
Peter, I've had enough.
176
00:08:47,381 --> 00:08:49,746
Cleveland and I think
we need to make some changes.
177
00:08:49,771 --> 00:08:52,128
Oh, come on. Are you serious?
Yeah.
178
00:08:52,153 --> 00:08:53,981
You're gonna start
helping around the house,
179
00:08:54,006 --> 00:08:55,895
and we're gonna start
doing things together.
180
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,005
We do stuff together.
Just last night,
181
00:08:58,030 --> 00:09:00,345
I made you keep track
of all the words I know.
182
00:09:00,379 --> 00:09:01,609
"Shoehorn.orn."
183
00:09:01,643 --> 00:09:03,240
"Engine."
184
00:09:03,282 --> 00:09:05,647
"Football."
185
00:09:05,681 --> 00:09:08,478
Did I say "shoehorn"?
Yes. Okay.
186
00:09:08,512 --> 00:09:09,780
"Shoehorns."
187
00:09:09,814 --> 00:09:13,673
(sighs) Peter, please... I've got an
early doctor's appointment tomorrow.
188
00:09:13,698 --> 00:09:15,857
Ooh! "Early." "Doctor."
Put those on there, too.
189
00:09:15,882 --> 00:09:17,966
Uh, should I also put
down "appointment"?
190
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,521
No, I don't know what that means.
Oh, "means."
191
00:09:28,595 --> 00:09:31,435
Wow, look at the new girl!
She's so hot!
192
00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:34,203
Yeah, her breasts and her stomach
are different parts of her body!
193
00:09:34,237 --> 00:09:35,916
I think she
looks weird.
194
00:09:35,941 --> 00:09:37,915
How come she's not
shaped like a potato?
195
00:09:37,940 --> 00:09:41,157
That's part of the
interview and everything.
196
00:09:41,182 --> 00:09:45,720
Whoa, sorry, ma'am, we can't let you
through security because you're "da bomb."
197
00:09:45,754 --> 00:09:48,103
Scott, you're not supposed
to make jokes like that!
198
00:09:48,128 --> 00:09:51,896
Well, I am carrying more
than three ounces of liquid.
199
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,768
Oh, that's so
Muhammad Hot-a.
200
00:09:56,802 --> 00:09:58,998
You're playing a
dangerous game, Scott!
201
00:10:03,130 --> 00:10:06,535
All right, Peter, Cleveland says
you should help with the chores.
202
00:10:06,569 --> 00:10:08,738
So today, we're gonna
do laundry together.
203
00:10:08,763 --> 00:10:10,087
Okay.
How does this work?
204
00:10:10,112 --> 00:10:12,330
Well, you put the wet
clothes in the dryer,
205
00:10:12,354 --> 00:10:15,760
you close the door and you wait.
206
00:10:17,341 --> 00:10:19,538
Oh, it just went to 39 minutes!
207
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:23,744
So you... you just stand here
and watch the whole time?
208
00:10:23,778 --> 00:10:26,955
Shh-shh-shh. Ah, the green
shirt went by again!
209
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:32,707
If it goes around 30 times in five
minutes, you get to have a Diet Coke!
210
00:10:33,252 --> 00:10:35,071
All right, according to Cleveland,
211
00:10:35,096 --> 00:10:37,986
it's also healthy for couples
to have shared activities.
212
00:10:38,015 --> 00:10:42,659
So since you like golf, I
thought we could play a round.
213
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,173
So-so what do I do,
just aim for the pond?
214
00:10:45,198 --> 00:10:46,997
No, you're not supposed
to hit it into the water.
215
00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,651
But you hit it
into the water.
216
00:10:48,676 --> 00:10:50,361
I know I hit it
into the water.
217
00:10:50,386 --> 00:10:53,093
Why do they even have water if
you're not supposed to hit it there?
218
00:10:53,118 --> 00:10:57,257
Because it's fun! We're having fun!
Rah!
219
00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:59,592
Look, it went further
than your ball!
220
00:11:05,863 --> 00:11:07,924
Hey, are you doing
anything on Friday?
221
00:11:07,949 --> 00:11:09,746
No, I don't think so.
Why?
222
00:11:09,771 --> 00:11:12,242
Well, I'm doing security
at the roller rink
223
00:11:12,267 --> 00:11:14,761
if you want to come watch me.
Sure!
224
00:11:14,786 --> 00:11:16,980
Great, I'll pick
you up at 4:30.
225
00:11:17,005 --> 00:11:19,792
Sounds good. All right,
well, I'm up at the podium.
226
00:11:19,817 --> 00:11:23,740
Time to make marks on pieces of
paper no one will ever see again.
227
00:11:23,774 --> 00:11:26,408
I thought we had
plans on Friday.
228
00:11:26,433 --> 00:11:29,540
Marla, I think we should
just be ugly friends.
229
00:11:36,229 --> 00:11:39,081
Dammit, Cleveland has
completely ruined my life.
230
00:11:39,106 --> 00:11:40,949
He's got Lois making me
help around the house
231
00:11:40,974 --> 00:11:43,458
and spend more time with her.
My own wife!
232
00:11:43,483 --> 00:11:46,532
I know what you mean, Peter. He said
I've gotta be more open and receptive
233
00:11:46,557 --> 00:11:48,899
to what Bonnie wants
to do in the bedroom.
234
00:11:48,924 --> 00:11:51,458
Thank God I can't feel
anything back there.
235
00:11:51,501 --> 00:11:53,345
You know what? Screw Cleveland.
236
00:11:53,370 --> 00:11:56,733
He's gonna tell my wife stuff, I'm
gonna tell his wife a few things.
237
00:11:56,758 --> 00:11:57,891
What are you talking about?
238
00:11:57,916 --> 00:12:01,106
Well, remember how Cleveland banged
that stripper at his bachelor party?
239
00:12:01,131 --> 00:12:03,910
Oh, yeah! And we were all
throwing bread at 'em?
240
00:12:03,934 --> 00:12:06,184
Yeah. Maybe I could
tell Donna about that.
241
00:12:06,218 --> 00:12:10,150
Or... remember when Cleveland
wore briefs under his boxers
242
00:12:10,175 --> 00:12:12,685
and we found out and he told
us not to say anything?
243
00:12:12,719 --> 00:12:14,773
Maybe we tell her that.
244
00:12:14,798 --> 00:12:16,354
Uh, I think Peter's is better.
245
00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:19,892
Okay, but we'll keep mine ready.
Could be the nail in the coffin.
246
00:12:19,926 --> 00:12:21,423
Hey, fellas.
247
00:12:21,448 --> 00:12:23,878
Cleveland, it ain't cool what
you've been telling Lois.
248
00:12:23,903 --> 00:12:25,993
All right? You're completely
messing things up for me.
249
00:12:26,018 --> 00:12:28,889
And you gotta tell her you were wrong
and put things back the way they were.
250
00:12:28,914 --> 00:12:33,048
I'm sorry it's hard for you, Peter, but
personal growth isn't always easy.
251
00:12:33,073 --> 00:12:35,344
Look, if you don't
change what you're saying,
252
00:12:35,369 --> 00:12:38,807
we're gonna tell Donna you slept with
that stripper at your bachelor party.
253
00:12:41,112 --> 00:12:42,405
Ah! Ah!
254
00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,922
(screaming)
255
00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,678
What are you doing?
256
00:12:48,718 --> 00:12:51,809
I'm gonna play "Locomotive Breath"
by Jethro Tull while he runs.
257
00:12:51,834 --> 00:12:54,074
Why the hell would you do
something stupid like that?
258
00:12:54,099 --> 00:12:57,345
Careful, Peter, or you're
gonna lose two friends today.
259
00:13:03,629 --> 00:13:06,338
ANNOUNCER: We now return
to Major League Baseball
260
00:13:06,363 --> 00:13:09,768
with one distractingly ugly guy
behind home plate.
261
00:13:09,802 --> 00:13:12,037
ANNOUNCER 2: It's two to two
in the bottom of the sixth,
262
00:13:12,062 --> 00:13:15,472
and I just can't get my eyes
off that man with the tall head.
263
00:13:15,506 --> 00:13:17,935
ANNOUNCER 3: It's quite a game, but man,
that guy is ugly.
264
00:13:17,977 --> 00:13:19,637
ANNOUNCER 2: I'll say, Gary.
What's the count?
265
00:13:19,671 --> 00:13:23,577
ANNOUNCER 3: No idea, Bill. But you know,
that guy hasn't blinked this entire game.
266
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:26,674
Just a dead-eyed idiot
out on a Thursday afternoon.
267
00:13:26,708 --> 00:13:28,294
ANNOUNCER 2: Yup. And
the longer I watch him,
268
00:13:28,319 --> 00:13:30,605
the more I wonder if
he's there by himself.
269
00:13:30,639 --> 00:13:32,002
ANNOUNCER 3: I think you're
on to something there.
270
00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:34,136
That seat next to him's
been empty for hours.
271
00:13:34,178 --> 00:13:39,604
ANNOUNCER 2: Right you are, Gary. I'm
gonna see if I can hit him with my apple.
272
00:13:39,646 --> 00:13:41,809
ANNOUNCER 3:
Ah. Kind of short-armed it.
273
00:13:41,843 --> 00:13:45,010
Oh, I'll get to the bottom of this.
Take care, Donna.
274
00:13:47,084 --> 00:13:49,547
Cleveland didn't show up to
my therapy session earlier,
275
00:13:49,589 --> 00:13:52,107
and Donna says she hasn't
seen him for two days.
276
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,398
Interesting.
Interesting.
277
00:13:54,423 --> 00:13:57,392
She also weirdly told me
that she squatted 250 today.
278
00:13:57,426 --> 00:14:00,626
I'm not even sure if that's good.
It's scary good.
279
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:03,386
Well, I am off to try and get
out of this conversation.
280
00:14:03,411 --> 00:14:05,271
Peter, what
did you do?
281
00:14:05,305 --> 00:14:08,209
He was slightly inconveniencing
me and Joe,
282
00:14:08,243 --> 00:14:10,347
so we threatened
to destroy his family.
283
00:14:10,381 --> 00:14:12,764
What?
I know, right?! It's pretty galling.
284
00:14:12,789 --> 00:14:15,007
No, I'm not taking
your side, Peter!
285
00:14:15,032 --> 00:14:16,187
Whatever the
hell you did,
286
00:14:16,221 --> 00:14:18,188
you go find him
and bring him back!
287
00:14:18,213 --> 00:14:20,689
All right, I'll go find him.
God, I'm sorry.
288
00:14:20,723 --> 00:14:23,720
You're makin' me feel lower than a
squid at the bottom of the ocean.
289
00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:29,035
Wow, it really inks in here.
290
00:14:37,705 --> 00:14:39,703
(beeps)
291
00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:41,702
(beeping)
292
00:14:41,744 --> 00:14:44,811
What is that?
There you are.
293
00:14:44,836 --> 00:14:48,908
Listen up, Meg: this TSA isn't
sweaty enough for the two of us.
294
00:14:48,933 --> 00:14:50,742
What?
What does that even mean?
295
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,984
It means, stay away
from Larry.
296
00:14:53,009 --> 00:14:55,231
I'm his girlfriend.
You are?
297
00:14:55,256 --> 00:14:57,121
Oh, my God, I thought
you were a boy.
298
00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,639
Oh, that's it!
299
00:15:03,454 --> 00:15:05,376
I will cut you, bitch.
300
00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:09,110
Ow!
That hurt a little bit.
301
00:15:10,778 --> 00:15:11,744
(screams)
302
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,111
(screams)
303
00:15:15,416 --> 00:15:17,948
(grunting)
304
00:15:20,184 --> 00:15:24,028
(gasping)
305
00:15:28,198 --> 00:15:29,597
(screams)
306
00:15:29,622 --> 00:15:32,153
(panting heavily)
307
00:15:32,178 --> 00:15:35,101
This ain't over.
Larry is mine.
308
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,634
What the hell?
Th-That was crazy!
309
00:15:38,659 --> 00:15:41,919
Like-like crazier
than putting cops on Segways.
310
00:15:41,944 --> 00:15:45,137
Help, officer! There's a lady
being raped in that alley!
311
00:15:45,162 --> 00:15:48,738
Okay, hold on, let me do
a small dippy-bob turn.
312
00:15:48,763 --> 00:15:51,915
I couldn't be sure, but I-I
think the man has a knife!
313
00:15:51,949 --> 00:15:56,785
Are there any steps leading to that alley
or is it just a series of gentle ramps?
314
00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:02,019
Okay, guys, Lois wants me
to find Cleveland.
315
00:16:02,053 --> 00:16:04,722
And since he eats, like,
nine candy bars a day,
316
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:07,854
if we wait here at the convenience
store, he's bound to show up.
317
00:16:07,888 --> 00:16:09,692
Hey, can you buy
us some beer?
318
00:16:09,726 --> 00:16:11,859
I don't know, I don't
think it'd be right.
319
00:16:11,893 --> 00:16:13,629
Ugh, I knew you weren't cool.
320
00:16:13,663 --> 00:16:16,021
Well, now, now,
hold on a minute...
321
00:16:16,046 --> 00:16:18,474
See? This is pretty cool, huh?
Yeah, I guess.
322
00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:21,037
But what we could really
use is some weed.
323
00:16:21,071 --> 00:16:22,405
I think that might
be over the line.
324
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,661
See?
I told you this guy wasn't cool.
325
00:16:24,686 --> 00:16:26,800
Well, now, now,
hold on a minute...
326
00:16:26,825 --> 00:16:32,045
Mr. Griffin, did you or did you not
distribute alcohol and marijuana to minors?
327
00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:33,552
No, Your Honor,
I did not.
328
00:16:33,586 --> 00:16:35,458
Told you this defendant
wasn't cool.
329
00:16:35,492 --> 00:16:37,923
Well, now, now, now,
hold on a minute...
330
00:16:40,977 --> 00:16:42,911
Still no sign of Cleveland?
331
00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:44,664
Yeah. I was thinking
maybe our best bet
332
00:16:44,689 --> 00:16:47,703
is to just drive around town
and see if we can spot him.
333
00:16:49,973 --> 00:16:52,274
Okay, well, he's not at
the mini golf course.
334
00:16:54,813 --> 00:16:57,347
Okay, he's still not at
the mini golf course.
335
00:16:59,951 --> 00:17:02,086
Oh, wow. Look at
that windmill.
336
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,288
Peter, do you want to go mini golfing?
Yes.
337
00:17:04,322 --> 00:17:06,489
(tires screeching)
338
00:17:06,531 --> 00:17:08,794
Well, he wasn't
by the sno-cones!
339
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,805
I love today!
340
00:17:14,866 --> 00:17:17,632
Hi, Meg. Larry, what
are you doing here?
341
00:17:17,657 --> 00:17:19,478
I-I thought we were gonna
meet at the Tumi store
342
00:17:19,502 --> 00:17:21,156
and see who buys luggage
at the airport.
343
00:17:21,181 --> 00:17:23,043
Meg, I've got some
disturbing news.
344
00:17:23,077 --> 00:17:25,315
Some Grey security tubs
have gone missing.
345
00:17:25,349 --> 00:17:27,078
Oh, my God! The ones
we have a zillion of
346
00:17:27,103 --> 00:17:28,995
but are somehow never there
when people need them?
347
00:17:29,020 --> 00:17:31,700
That's right, and I'm going
to have to check your locker.
348
00:17:34,019 --> 00:17:36,625
I don't need to tell you
how serious this is.
349
00:17:36,659 --> 00:17:40,129
Wait, Larry! I was framed!
I bet it was Marla!
350
00:17:40,163 --> 00:17:42,023
I'm sorry, Meg,
you're fired.
351
00:17:42,065 --> 00:17:44,629
I'm going to need
your small, ridiculous tie.
352
00:17:44,663 --> 00:17:46,165
You're firing me?
353
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:47,828
I have a duty
to this country.
354
00:17:47,862 --> 00:17:49,532
And with people
like you stealing tubs,
355
00:17:49,566 --> 00:17:52,204
how are we ever going
to catch Abu Nazir?
356
00:17:52,229 --> 00:17:55,073
That's not even a real person.
That's the terrorist from Homeland.
357
00:17:55,098 --> 00:17:57,437
And they caught him.
Good-bye, Meg.
358
00:17:59,573 --> 00:18:01,009
Good-bye, Larry.
359
00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,818
Meg?
360
00:18:05,843 --> 00:18:09,967
I'll miss the way you reminded
people about their belts.
361
00:18:15,802 --> 00:18:19,505
We've looked everywhere.
Where the hell could he be?
362
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:23,718
Guys, I think we need to embrace the
possibility that Cleveland never existed.
363
00:18:23,743 --> 00:18:26,499
Dammit, if only there was some kind
of clue as to where he might be.
364
00:18:31,033 --> 00:18:34,096
That's right, Cleveland had a deli!
We should check there!
365
00:18:46,236 --> 00:18:48,169
Cleveland!
Cleveland!
366
00:18:48,211 --> 00:18:50,821
PETER:
Oh, sweet! Egg salad!
367
00:18:50,846 --> 00:18:53,656
Peter, this place has been
closed for six years.
368
00:18:53,681 --> 00:18:55,945
So what?
Egg salad don't go bad.
369
00:18:55,979 --> 00:18:58,017
(groaning)
370
00:18:58,051 --> 00:18:59,720
Son of a whore!
Give me some milk!
371
00:19:02,889 --> 00:19:04,623
Okay, that helped.
372
00:19:04,657 --> 00:19:06,224
Jeez, this place is a dump.
373
00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:08,053
CLEVELAND:
Yeah, it is, isn't it?
374
00:19:09,590 --> 00:19:12,227
It's a symbol
of all my failures.
375
00:19:12,261 --> 00:19:14,657
Cleveland!
You're okay! (groans)
376
00:19:14,682 --> 00:19:16,447
I'm so glad
we found you!
377
00:19:16,472 --> 00:19:18,589
Hey, listen, I'm sorry
we threatened to blab
378
00:19:18,614 --> 00:19:20,665
about your bachelor
party stripper stuff.
379
00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:23,630
I'd never do that. 'Cause that'd
mean I'd have to talk to Donna,
380
00:19:23,664 --> 00:19:25,597
and that's... that's
just, like, "ugh."
381
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:28,562
And I'm sorry I caused such
problems in your marriage.
382
00:19:28,604 --> 00:19:31,632
Truth is, I was faking it
as a therapist.
383
00:19:31,666 --> 00:19:32,968
(sighs)
384
00:19:33,002 --> 00:19:36,258
I've been back almost a year and
I still got nothing going on.
385
00:19:36,283 --> 00:19:39,174
Hey, cheer up,
Cleveland.
386
00:19:39,199 --> 00:19:40,965
What are you talking about?
I'm a cop.
387
00:19:40,990 --> 00:19:44,444
Oh. W-Wait, that's real? I thought
that was, like, a Make-A-Wish thing.
388
00:19:44,478 --> 00:19:46,581
All right, come on, buddy.
Let's get out of here.
389
00:19:46,615 --> 00:19:49,246
And, you know, even though
therapy might not be your thing,
390
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:52,782
you've got a job. As
my fourth best friend.
391
00:19:52,824 --> 00:19:55,253
After the dog?
After the dog.
392
00:19:59,758 --> 00:20:03,475
Peter, thanks for going to find
Cleveland and bringing him home safely.
393
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,095
Hey, that's what
friends are for.
394
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:06,935
Hey, what about you, Meg?
What'd you do this week?
395
00:20:06,969 --> 00:20:08,610
What, so you can
make fun of me?
396
00:20:08,635 --> 00:20:10,714
No, Meg. I'm your father,
and I'm interested
397
00:20:10,739 --> 00:20:12,262
in what my daughter
did this week.
398
00:20:12,287 --> 00:20:14,235
You promise you're not
gonna make fun of me?
399
00:20:14,269 --> 00:20:16,491
Of course, Meg.
I care about my family.
400
00:20:16,516 --> 00:20:19,147
But I-I feel like you're
drawing this out, so
401
00:20:19,172 --> 00:20:21,584
when you do make fun of me,
it'll hurt more.
402
00:20:21,609 --> 00:20:25,005
What? Well, that hurts, Meg. You
know, you can be very hurtful.
403
00:20:25,047 --> 00:20:27,625
I'm asking you, please... and-and
you don't have to tell me,
404
00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:30,282
I want to know because I'm interested...
what you did this week.
405
00:20:30,307 --> 00:20:33,007
It enhances my life to
know how yours is going.
406
00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:36,114
You promise? Okay, well,
now you owe me an apology.
407
00:20:36,156 --> 00:20:38,816
I'm sorry. I'm not used
to you wanting to know...
408
00:20:38,850 --> 00:20:41,116
Of course, I'd love
to tell you what happened.
409
00:20:41,141 --> 00:20:44,708
Then by all means. I... It's just upsetting
when you thumb your nose at the family.
410
00:20:44,733 --> 00:20:48,305
But I love you, and I'm looking forward
to hearing what you have to say.
411
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:51,032
Please.
I'd like to hear.
412
00:20:51,066 --> 00:20:53,773
Oh. Okay. Well, this is
actually kind of funny.
413
00:20:53,798 --> 00:20:55,263
I joined the TSA...
End of the show!
414
00:20:55,305 --> 00:20:58,738
♪ Nah nah nah nah Family Guy,
nah nah start the credits ♪
415
00:20:58,739 --> 00:21:01,796
♪ Lots of little names,
nyah nyah nyah nyah guy! ♪
416
00:21:01,821 --> 00:21:10,431
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
WEB-DL sync by jasonnguyen2606