1 00:00:05,013 --> 00:00:07,249 Welcome back to Greendale, 2 00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:09,652 now ranking fifth on Colorado's 3 00:00:09,670 --> 00:00:12,797 alphabetical listing of community colleges. 4 00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:16,128 Rest in peace, Bad Boy Slim's DJ School. 5 00:00:16,134 --> 00:00:20,421 This school owes its continued existence to the following heroes. 6 00:00:20,434 --> 00:00:24,265 Jeff Winger, a teacher so dedicated to clean energy, 7 00:00:24,290 --> 00:00:27,450 he's already parking like his car is electric. 8 00:00:27,456 --> 00:00:31,390 Britta Perry, currently raising awareness of homelessness, 9 00:00:31,404 --> 00:00:33,215 not that she has a choice. 10 00:00:33,222 --> 00:00:36,473 Abed Nadir, who actually wrote this announcement for the sake of, 11 00:00:36,486 --> 00:00:38,734 as he put it, catching everyone up. 12 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:45,921 And Annie Edison who led the effort to save Greendale from 534 critical emergencies. 13 00:00:47,940 --> 00:00:49,680 534? 14 00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:13,977 Frisbee! 15 00:01:35,189 --> 00:01:38,796 Hey Leonard, what, are you gonna Bogart the disc all day? 16 00:01:59,563 --> 00:02:01,643 Like 17 00:02:01,668 --> 00:02:04,539 tears in rain. 18 00:02:05,659 --> 00:02:06,951 What? 19 00:02:28,178 --> 00:02:35,478 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for FiHTV WEB-DL by Rapunzel 20 00:02:37,961 --> 00:02:39,958 I can't believe the roof collapsed. 21 00:02:39,983 --> 00:02:42,277 - We almost killed Fat Neil. - That was Garrett. 22 00:02:42,297 --> 00:02:43,859 See, we're monsters. 23 00:02:43,865 --> 00:02:46,125 Okay, if they blame us for this, let me take the heat. 24 00:02:46,131 --> 00:02:48,178 I'd never see the inside of a cell. 25 00:02:48,191 --> 00:02:51,756 I have been reliving this day over and over for a thousand years. 26 00:02:53,691 --> 00:02:55,011 Guys, this is not on us. 27 00:02:55,031 --> 00:02:58,786 That roof was gonna collapse, 80% of the rubble was styrofoam. 28 00:02:58,806 --> 00:03:00,977 Speaking of guilt, where's Shirley? 29 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,884 You didn't tell him? 30 00:03:02,905 --> 00:03:04,699 I was waiting until we were all together. 31 00:03:04,705 --> 00:03:07,253 Abed's not comfortable with C-H-A-N-G-E. 32 00:03:07,265 --> 00:03:09,395 Hey, screw you. I can spell. 33 00:03:09,826 --> 00:03:11,599 Screw you. 34 00:03:11,612 --> 00:03:13,125 Is Shirley gone? Did she spin off? 35 00:03:13,131 --> 00:03:16,182 Nobody spins off in real life, Abed. 36 00:03:16,201 --> 00:03:18,696 Shirley went to look after her dad in Atlanta 37 00:03:18,721 --> 00:03:21,587 and ended up taking a job as a personal chef to a brilliant, 38 00:03:21,598 --> 00:03:23,392 but troubled Southern detective. 39 00:03:23,399 --> 00:03:25,769 I told her I'd manage her sandwich shop while she's gone. 40 00:03:25,781 --> 00:03:27,129 Oh, that's very generous of you. 41 00:03:27,135 --> 00:03:30,101 I have a friend in town, every time you're gonna need help with that. 42 00:03:30,115 --> 00:03:32,322 - She'll be back. - Like Troy? 43 00:03:32,328 --> 00:03:35,865 Are any of you white people noticing what's happening to this group? 44 00:03:35,877 --> 00:03:37,778 Do Abed and I need to be concerned? 45 00:03:37,791 --> 00:03:41,373 You have my word, as leader of the white people there's no cause for alarm. 46 00:03:41,386 --> 00:03:44,147 Say hello to new Shirley. 47 00:03:44,763 --> 00:03:47,529 Just kidding. This is Francesca Dart. 48 00:03:47,536 --> 00:03:50,148 I have brought her on as an administrative consultant. 49 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,105 I thought it would be fun, 50 00:03:52,130 --> 00:03:55,570 and mandatory for you to add her to your little committee. 51 00:03:55,589 --> 00:03:57,590 Why, because one roof collapsed? 52 00:03:57,603 --> 00:03:59,617 No, God, God no. 53 00:03:59,629 --> 00:04:02,323 I'm your friend bringing you a new friend, 54 00:04:02,335 --> 00:04:05,383 one with training in not collapsing roofs. 55 00:04:05,389 --> 00:04:11,188 Is she, excuse me, ma'am. Is she above us or below us? 56 00:04:11,643 --> 00:04:12,976 She is, woop! 57 00:04:14,328 --> 00:04:17,804 I'm getting a call, here, and I'll have to take it. 58 00:04:17,823 --> 00:04:20,383 Frankie, why don't you explain what your role will be, 59 00:04:20,389 --> 00:04:22,627 while I leave to take this call. 60 00:04:23,027 --> 00:04:25,400 My phone is vibrating, but it is... 61 00:04:25,425 --> 00:04:27,845 In your office, which you didn't realize, 62 00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:29,846 when you started the fake phone call move. 63 00:04:29,852 --> 00:04:32,626 - My phone is in my pocket, Jeffrey. - Mm. 64 00:04:32,638 --> 00:04:36,420 I'm walking away, so I can get it out and answer it. 65 00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:38,106 Let me know how it goes. 66 00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:40,794 Okay, I'll just have a seat and-- 67 00:04:40,809 --> 00:04:43,282 - No! - Hey! - No! No, no, no! 68 00:04:43,295 --> 00:04:44,965 Our friend use to sit there. 69 00:04:44,978 --> 00:04:46,361 She spun off. 70 00:04:47,082 --> 00:04:49,531 I'm sorry, what about here? 71 00:04:49,537 --> 00:04:51,391 - Yeah, I guess that's okay. - That's cool. 72 00:04:52,054 --> 00:04:53,557 Okay, so, 73 00:04:53,582 --> 00:04:58,418 I took an informal survey to get a sense of how Greendale is perceived. 74 00:04:58,425 --> 00:05:00,865 And three themes emerged; 75 00:05:00,890 --> 00:05:03,663 Weird, passionate and gross. 76 00:05:03,676 --> 00:05:05,934 Now you want to hang onto that grouping. 77 00:05:05,948 --> 00:05:09,522 In marketing, it's what we call the Good Belushi. 78 00:05:09,534 --> 00:05:10,804 If I had a magic wand, 79 00:05:10,816 --> 00:05:13,658 I would use it to make sure Greendale never had to grow up. 80 00:05:13,671 --> 00:05:16,679 I would also probably use it to cut the Magic Wand class 81 00:05:16,704 --> 00:05:19,037 that I noticed is actually offered here, 82 00:05:19,062 --> 00:05:22,789 as well as VCR Repair, a class called Ladders, 83 00:05:22,793 --> 00:05:25,194 and When is it Okay to Shake a Baby? 84 00:05:25,207 --> 00:05:28,231 In terms of hierarchy, I'm a big believer in it. 85 00:05:28,237 --> 00:05:31,904 Someone needs to say, I'm in charge, and that person is me. 86 00:05:31,917 --> 00:05:32,868 That's my decision. 87 00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:36,315 That doesn't mean that we don't work together, 88 00:05:36,340 --> 00:05:39,482 but all communication and decisions will go through me. 89 00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:42,599 I'll send out an email later to set up our next meeting. 90 00:05:42,605 --> 00:05:44,558 - Awesome. - Okay. - Great seeing you, Professor. 91 00:05:44,565 --> 00:05:46,656 Yeah. Coolios. 92 00:05:46,670 --> 00:05:49,158 - Who in the crazy bitch? - Did that just happen? 93 00:05:49,171 --> 00:05:50,592 Did you see her binder? 94 00:05:52,549 --> 00:05:54,629 - Pretty nondescript. - Seems like she may be trouble. 95 00:05:54,641 --> 00:05:57,252 To be fair, she's an additional white person, 96 00:05:57,277 --> 00:05:58,984 which has clearly become important here. 97 00:05:58,996 --> 00:06:00,910 No, thank you. 98 00:06:00,917 --> 00:06:03,364 I-I'm just glad I was able to answer. 99 00:06:03,376 --> 00:06:06,479 My-My phone got lodged in my pocket. 100 00:06:06,492 --> 00:06:07,771 I know! 101 00:06:07,778 --> 00:06:09,091 I guess that is a thing. 102 00:06:09,104 --> 00:06:11,736 So, you were saying about the thing, 103 00:06:11,761 --> 00:06:14,682 the reason you were calling was, what were you talking to me about? 104 00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:17,341 Looks good, Tony. 105 00:06:17,347 --> 00:06:19,804 I'm sorry, I just assume your name is Tony. 106 00:06:20,372 --> 00:06:21,408 Here you go. 107 00:06:21,421 --> 00:06:24,016 I gave you some extra heat. 108 00:06:27,268 --> 00:06:30,681 Britta, what is the weekly cost of this restaurant? 109 00:06:30,688 --> 00:06:32,408 Oh, that's easy. My dignity. 110 00:06:32,414 --> 00:06:35,595 Seems like this sandwich counter is consuming your happiness 111 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:39,023 and converting it into burnt bread and debt. 112 00:06:40,757 --> 00:06:41,864 So? 113 00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:43,003 Frankie, hi. 114 00:06:43,013 --> 00:06:44,680 Um... 115 00:06:44,694 --> 00:06:47,181 someone removed all the liquor from the faculty lounge. 116 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:51,199 I'm sorry, I cannot legally protect or insure a campus 117 00:06:51,212 --> 00:06:52,646 with free flowing booze. 118 00:06:52,665 --> 00:06:55,679 Well, I can't teach with free flowing sobriety. 119 00:06:56,115 --> 00:06:57,776 Is that true? 120 00:06:58,591 --> 00:07:00,682 Do you really think you're an addict? 121 00:07:01,169 --> 00:07:02,536 No. 122 00:07:05,207 --> 00:07:06,604 Dean! 123 00:07:08,500 --> 00:07:10,028 Hello? Oh, oh, hey! 124 00:07:10,047 --> 00:07:11,487 - Yes, I can talk. - Damn it. 125 00:07:11,493 --> 00:07:13,776 I am available anytime for you. 126 00:07:13,789 --> 00:07:15,102 Frankie, Frankie. 127 00:07:15,109 --> 00:07:17,856 Hi. I had an idea about how to deelectrify the pool. 128 00:07:17,862 --> 00:07:19,779 Oh, that's already been dealt with. 129 00:07:19,792 --> 00:07:23,230 - Okay, well, then, there's-- - Oh, let's see. 130 00:07:23,237 --> 00:07:26,333 Done, done, deloused. 131 00:07:26,339 --> 00:07:28,552 Appraised, defused, rebuilt. 132 00:07:28,565 --> 00:07:31,710 De-peanut buttered, debunked, spayed, neutered. 133 00:07:31,729 --> 00:07:36,222 Underway, resanctified, plunged, deported and exhumed. 134 00:07:36,242 --> 00:07:37,434 Thank you. 135 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:40,017 Oh, this is pretty. 136 00:07:40,030 --> 00:07:40,884 Huh. 137 00:07:40,897 --> 00:07:43,374 I'm gonna name one of my sandwiches after her. 138 00:07:43,765 --> 00:07:45,065 My sandwiches suck. 139 00:07:45,071 --> 00:07:47,575 She is improving Greendale. 140 00:07:47,588 --> 00:07:50,487 Yeah, but how much can you improve Greendale 141 00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:53,230 before it stops being Greendale? 142 00:07:53,236 --> 00:07:55,516 She didn't suffer for this place. 143 00:07:55,529 --> 00:07:57,296 She doesn't understand it. 144 00:07:57,309 --> 00:07:59,585 She's gonna end up messing with something that-- 145 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:01,718 Abed. 146 00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:06,105 Temporal mutation in English, Doc. 147 00:08:09,168 --> 00:08:11,561 Simply put Mr. President, 148 00:08:11,567 --> 00:08:15,407 in 12 hours these dinosaurs will become-- 149 00:08:16,647 --> 00:08:19,240 - Mind if I sit here? - Time-asaurs. 150 00:08:19,253 --> 00:08:21,374 Go ahead, I can reshoot. 151 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,473 How's everything going? 152 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,407 - I have concerns. - I'd like to hear them. 153 00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,120 I'm worried you're not distinct enough from Annie, 154 00:08:29,140 --> 00:08:31,410 both in terms of physicality and purpose. 155 00:08:31,435 --> 00:08:32,406 Okay. 156 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:34,865 I can't determine if you have any specific flaw, 157 00:08:34,878 --> 00:08:38,205 quirk, or point of view that makes you a creative addition to the group. 158 00:08:38,212 --> 00:08:40,937 I don't know what that means, but I'm writing it down. 159 00:08:40,950 --> 00:08:42,556 My umbrella concern is that you, as a character, 160 00:08:42,569 --> 00:08:44,649 represent the end of what I used to call our show, 161 00:08:44,656 --> 00:08:46,879 which was once an unlikely family of misfit students, 162 00:08:46,904 --> 00:08:49,311 and is now a pretty loose knit group of students and teachers. 163 00:08:49,330 --> 00:08:52,130 None of whom are taking a class together in a school which, as of your arrival, 164 00:08:52,137 --> 00:08:54,413 is becoming increasingly grounded, asking questions like, 165 00:08:54,424 --> 00:08:55,944 how do any of us get our money? 166 00:08:55,962 --> 00:08:58,309 When will we get our degrees, and what happened to that girl I was dating? 167 00:08:58,322 --> 00:09:00,894 As opposed to questions I consider more important like, what is real? 168 00:09:00,907 --> 00:09:03,897 What is sanity? Is there a god? Where's that Pierce hologram? 169 00:09:03,910 --> 00:09:05,499 Jeff said last year he saw a Pierce hologram. 170 00:09:05,505 --> 00:09:08,099 None of the rest of us have ever seen it. So, if there's a Pierce ghost on campus, 171 00:09:08,112 --> 00:09:09,866 I'd like to get a head start on busting it. 172 00:09:10,437 --> 00:09:12,086 All right. 173 00:09:12,111 --> 00:09:14,520 This is the first I've heard that I'm a character on a show. 174 00:09:14,526 --> 00:09:17,381 I'm excited to be one, but I agree, I'll be a boring one. 175 00:09:17,394 --> 00:09:19,723 Quirks are not my strong suit, results are. 176 00:09:19,743 --> 00:09:20,750 I love quirky people. 177 00:09:20,763 --> 00:09:24,363 I come from a big family of people who are literally insane. 178 00:09:24,377 --> 00:09:26,407 I moved down here to take care of one of them. 179 00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:29,149 But I myself am exceptionally boring, 180 00:09:29,174 --> 00:09:30,822 and I am quite proud to be that way, 181 00:09:30,835 --> 00:09:35,935 because it allows me to help the less boring people turn quirks into results. 182 00:09:36,798 --> 00:09:39,318 That's the most interesting take on not being interesting that I've ever heard. 183 00:09:39,331 --> 00:09:41,118 As far as what I represent about your show, 184 00:09:41,143 --> 00:09:43,790 I wouldn't give me or anyone else that kind of power. 185 00:09:43,796 --> 00:09:46,423 Good shows change, I assume. 186 00:09:46,436 --> 00:09:48,188 Personally, I don't own a TV. 187 00:09:48,201 --> 00:09:51,741 You're the first person to say that that I didn't immediately delete from my brain. 188 00:09:51,754 --> 00:09:52,760 Thank you. 189 00:09:54,993 --> 00:09:57,600 Emergency meeting at Shirley's Sandwiches right now. 190 00:09:57,606 --> 00:10:00,120 Everyone freaking out. New lady is evil. 191 00:10:00,828 --> 00:10:01,796 Crazy frown. 192 00:10:02,964 --> 00:10:04,202 I should go. 193 00:10:04,781 --> 00:10:08,472 Abed, I could really use someone's help in learning the ropes around here. 194 00:10:09,389 --> 00:10:10,971 I'll ask around. 195 00:10:12,908 --> 00:10:14,861 Friends, dumb hats. 196 00:10:14,867 --> 00:10:17,629 - Totally talking down to you. - She hates you. 197 00:10:17,642 --> 00:10:18,802 I got it from Jared. 198 00:10:18,808 --> 00:10:21,081 - What are you guys doing back here? Are you the big chilling? - Yeah, 199 00:10:21,094 --> 00:10:24,279 only there's not a hippie that died to make us come together and complain. 200 00:10:24,299 --> 00:10:26,337 - It's our school. - Frankie's taking over the campus. 201 00:10:26,343 --> 00:10:28,772 She cancelled Ladders, she's banning substances, 202 00:10:28,785 --> 00:10:30,827 she wants to shut down Shirley's sandwiches. 203 00:10:30,841 --> 00:10:33,345 - She called Annie a bitch. - She implied I was a bitch. 204 00:10:33,358 --> 00:10:36,424 She implied Annie was a stuck up bitch who thinks she's better than everyone. 205 00:10:36,437 --> 00:10:38,564 - Okay, now you're just-- - She was nice to me. 206 00:10:38,577 --> 00:10:39,637 In fact we kinda got along. 207 00:10:39,650 --> 00:10:44,137 Abed, are you sure she wasn't actually being sweetly condescending? 208 00:10:44,157 --> 00:10:45,550 Yup, I learned to pick up on that one. 209 00:10:45,570 --> 00:10:49,735 I make a movement that we form a separate, secret, committee. 210 00:10:49,741 --> 00:10:52,574 I second Britta's motion, not movement. 211 00:10:52,581 --> 00:10:56,006 I third Annie's number two-ing of the movement Britta made. 212 00:10:56,018 --> 00:10:58,725 - Gross. - Our mission to preserve the real Greendale. 213 00:10:58,744 --> 00:11:01,147 Oppose Frankie or drink. 214 00:11:01,153 --> 00:11:02,583 Whatever's easiest. 215 00:11:04,582 --> 00:11:06,095 Are you guys sure she's bad? 216 00:11:06,115 --> 00:11:08,510 Are you sure you're not doing what I usually do, overreacting to change? 217 00:11:08,530 --> 00:11:10,816 Nobody's ever doing what you usually do Abed. You're nuts. 218 00:11:10,829 --> 00:11:11,542 Ugh. 219 00:11:11,555 --> 00:11:13,042 In a good way. I'm just saying. 220 00:11:13,048 --> 00:11:15,783 - Leave reality to us. - We always support you. 221 00:11:15,796 --> 00:11:17,370 Don't make it more dramatic than it is. 222 00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:20,578 It's a blood oath to defy evil. You're either in or you're out. 223 00:11:21,532 --> 00:11:22,792 Can I hang around if I don't do the oath. 224 00:11:22,799 --> 00:11:25,525 Oh, gee. You mean just be friends? 225 00:11:25,536 --> 00:11:27,387 Sure. Great, Abed. 226 00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:29,159 Okay. 227 00:11:31,780 --> 00:11:33,381 Can I have some pretzels? 228 00:11:37,055 --> 00:11:38,348 No. 229 00:11:38,358 --> 00:11:40,516 Those are secret committee pretzels. 230 00:11:42,699 --> 00:11:43,990 Okay. 231 00:11:44,566 --> 00:11:45,955 Well. 232 00:11:49,930 --> 00:11:51,514 Yes, that was a test. 233 00:11:53,006 --> 00:11:54,607 You guys are bad friends. 234 00:11:59,443 --> 00:12:00,972 Don't think of it as bad baking. 235 00:12:00,978 --> 00:12:03,594 Think of it as a crushing blow to a gender stereotype. 236 00:12:07,980 --> 00:12:10,298 Britta, it might help if every burnt sandwich 237 00:12:10,323 --> 00:12:12,777 didn't come with a self-aware burnt sandwich bit. 238 00:12:12,796 --> 00:12:15,937 Is that how you're gonna help increase sales, creative notes? 239 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:18,283 I had that sign spinner idea. 240 00:12:20,124 --> 00:12:24,463 We're a restaurant inside a cafeteria Annie, our weak point wasn't traffic. 241 00:12:24,476 --> 00:12:28,076 Flo, Alice, stop fighting, can't afford to lose this place. 242 00:12:28,088 --> 00:12:29,911 If I have to start drinking in the men's room, 243 00:12:29,936 --> 00:12:31,970 the score in my head has to change from Trent Reznor 244 00:12:31,995 --> 00:12:33,642 to Johnny Cash doing Trent Reznor. 245 00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:37,743 I'm a bartender Annie, I know a little bit more about the human side of service. 246 00:12:38,175 --> 00:12:40,215 I can't eat this. Can I have my money back? 247 00:12:40,228 --> 00:12:41,912 You're human garbage. 248 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,257 Hi, Mr. Winger. Nice lecture yesterday. 249 00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:46,288 Don't patronize me Dave. 250 00:12:46,295 --> 00:12:50,343 It might not seem like this, but you're killing small, black owned business. 251 00:12:51,421 --> 00:12:54,088 I'll call it even for a drink with Mr. Winger. 252 00:12:55,664 --> 00:12:57,428 - That's absurd. - You will? 253 00:13:00,377 --> 00:13:02,230 Let's see some ID. You snitch, you die. 254 00:13:04,668 --> 00:13:06,092 - Morning. - Morning. 255 00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,148 Morning. 256 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,747 Well I guess we'll wait for the others before we start. 257 00:13:10,753 --> 00:13:11,954 I don't think they're coming. 258 00:13:11,967 --> 00:13:15,555 What? The committee had a meeting last night and decided you are evil. 259 00:13:15,568 --> 00:13:18,938 Ooh. Wait, you guys had a meeting last night? 260 00:13:18,952 --> 00:13:20,898 So, we broke up as friends. 261 00:13:20,909 --> 00:13:22,617 Because I don't think you're evil. 262 00:13:22,629 --> 00:13:25,662 I think you scare people, because you live in the real world instead of up your butt. 263 00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:27,275 I'm sorry that happened, Abed. 264 00:13:27,295 --> 00:13:29,151 It's like I said yesterday at lunch. 265 00:13:29,164 --> 00:13:32,171 Drama and conflict are exciting and easy. 266 00:13:32,183 --> 00:13:34,037 Making a difference can be pretty boring. 267 00:13:34,057 --> 00:13:35,077 You guys had lunch? 268 00:13:35,090 --> 00:13:36,594 I'd like to try to live in that world. 269 00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:39,504 I'm a little tired from all the drama, the heroes, the villains, monsters. 270 00:13:39,523 --> 00:13:40,392 Pokemons.. 271 00:13:40,417 --> 00:13:43,644 - You're just a person that sees things the way they are. - Leprechauns. Scary. 272 00:13:43,663 --> 00:13:45,470 I don't know if I can be like that but 273 00:13:45,483 --> 00:13:46,990 I don't think it makes sense to be against it. 274 00:13:47,004 --> 00:13:48,605 You guys ever hear of The Slender Man? 275 00:13:48,630 --> 00:13:49,977 I'd like to try to help you. 276 00:13:49,983 --> 00:13:52,923 - And if possible, learn from you. - You guys on Reddit, 4Chan? 277 00:13:52,936 --> 00:13:54,762 - That would be great, Abed. - Cuz it's awesome. 278 00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:59,124 I think we'd all benefit if we were more like you, so 279 00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,154 what do you say? 280 00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:02,434 Let's order some food. 281 00:14:02,447 --> 00:14:04,863 - Let's save Greendale. - Let's save Greendale. 282 00:14:04,883 --> 00:14:06,790 Tacos! 283 00:14:07,293 --> 00:14:09,333 We are something else. 284 00:14:23,794 --> 00:14:24,851 Abed. 285 00:14:25,249 --> 00:14:26,770 - Abed. - Yeah? 286 00:14:26,795 --> 00:14:28,716 - What are you doing? - What do you mean? 287 00:14:28,728 --> 00:14:30,903 Someone told me you were sweeping, straightening clocks. 288 00:14:30,909 --> 00:14:33,285 Why are you cleaning that sign? I gave you a list. 289 00:14:33,292 --> 00:14:35,158 Yeah, the list felt pretty similar visually. 290 00:14:35,164 --> 00:14:38,011 I can't picture a montage cutting from me verifying Diane's invoice 291 00:14:38,036 --> 00:14:40,243 to me emailing confirmation to Diane. 292 00:14:40,255 --> 00:14:42,475 Right. But a montage is what, Abed? 293 00:14:42,488 --> 00:14:44,021 It's a movie apologizing for reality. 294 00:14:44,034 --> 00:14:45,434 And we are where? 295 00:14:45,447 --> 00:14:47,739 - Reality. - And what do people do here? 296 00:14:49,445 --> 00:14:50,706 They email Diane? 297 00:15:05,265 --> 00:15:08,580 Abed, if you change your clothes one more time today, you're fired. 298 00:15:08,586 --> 00:15:09,957 Sorry. 299 00:15:13,938 --> 00:15:15,998 - Hey, Abed. Hey, Todd. 300 00:15:16,011 --> 00:15:19,785 - Are Annie and Britta around? - No. 301 00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,584 Abed, 302 00:15:33,148 --> 00:15:35,582 maybe you should order the special. 303 00:15:35,607 --> 00:15:36,934 I'll have the special. 304 00:15:36,947 --> 00:15:39,507 The specials are kept in the back. 305 00:15:43,948 --> 00:15:46,648 You should, you should go in the back. 306 00:16:16,025 --> 00:16:17,845 I'd like the special. 307 00:16:31,979 --> 00:16:34,368 Vaporizers, Skittles? 308 00:16:35,245 --> 00:16:36,719 - Abed. - Hey, Annie. 309 00:16:36,725 --> 00:16:39,534 - This place is so conceptual. - It's practical, too. 310 00:16:39,547 --> 00:16:41,235 We made enough money to save Shirley's. 311 00:16:41,242 --> 00:16:43,788 And in an ironic way, because if Shirley saw this, her soul would die. 312 00:16:43,801 --> 00:16:45,621 Hey, Abed, check this out. 313 00:16:48,493 --> 00:16:50,740 - Oh, Britta's still the worst? - Yeah. 314 00:16:50,752 --> 00:16:51,986 The bar gets dirty. 315 00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:54,764 You're gonna need someone to clean it, probably after hours, 316 00:16:54,785 --> 00:16:58,058 and those floor polishers can get pretty loud. 317 00:16:58,078 --> 00:17:00,053 I'd hate for someone to hear it. 318 00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:01,963 You blackmailing me? 319 00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,087 Just talking shop. 320 00:17:06,914 --> 00:17:08,574 - What's the rumpus, Abed? - Miller's Crossing. 321 00:17:08,580 --> 00:17:09,980 Mm-hm. 322 00:17:09,993 --> 00:17:11,883 This is really great. You guys should be proud of yourselves. 323 00:17:11,896 --> 00:17:13,664 We missed you. Have a drink. 324 00:17:13,689 --> 00:17:15,000 Put on an old timey jacket. 325 00:17:15,013 --> 00:17:16,939 That's okay, I don't really do this anymore. 326 00:17:17,715 --> 00:17:19,027 All right, come on. 327 00:17:19,628 --> 00:17:21,948 I said I don't do this, see. 328 00:17:21,963 --> 00:17:25,335 - You dirty rat. - Guys are all dirty rats. 329 00:17:25,354 --> 00:17:27,337 What's your romper room? 330 00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:29,160 All right, maybe just one drink. 331 00:17:29,167 --> 00:17:31,865 Then maybe cut to a montage of drinks. 332 00:17:34,339 --> 00:17:35,795 Drink up! 333 00:17:42,714 --> 00:17:45,220 - Let's never stop being friends again ever. - Mm-hm. 334 00:17:45,233 --> 00:17:46,430 Cheers! 335 00:17:46,784 --> 00:17:49,577 We shouldn't have made you choose between Frankie and us. 336 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,377 Oh, she's good for business. 337 00:17:51,397 --> 00:17:53,430 We're sorry that we made you choose between-- 338 00:17:53,444 --> 00:17:56,233 - You're just repeating what I said. - No, you're repeating what I said. 339 00:17:56,246 --> 00:17:57,782 Oh, I'm a time traveler? 340 00:17:57,802 --> 00:17:59,655 This is the show. 341 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:06,860 Abed, 342 00:18:06,866 --> 00:18:11,287 I just got word from Diane that one of your emails was a little shaky. 343 00:18:11,312 --> 00:18:12,653 Are you okay? 344 00:18:12,666 --> 00:18:14,772 I'm good. Late night last night. 345 00:18:14,778 --> 00:18:15,685 Yeah? 346 00:18:15,691 --> 00:18:17,930 Yeah, I could use a little protein. 347 00:18:18,452 --> 00:18:20,249 I'm gonna go get an early lunch. 348 00:18:24,402 --> 00:18:26,098 You guys know about tardigrades? 349 00:18:26,104 --> 00:18:28,788 They're these microscopic creatures that look like robot bears. 350 00:18:28,813 --> 00:18:30,533 - They can survive in space. - Mm. - Mm-hm. 351 00:18:30,546 --> 00:18:33,861 Get into space, you dirty tardigrades, see? 352 00:18:35,466 --> 00:18:37,081 And they're everywhere. 353 00:18:37,087 --> 00:18:39,806 There's a lot of little things in real life that are just as cool as fake stuff. 354 00:18:39,813 --> 00:18:41,531 I learned that working for Frankie. 355 00:18:41,533 --> 00:18:43,384 You guys would like her, you know. 356 00:18:45,392 --> 00:18:46,827 Raid! 357 00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:52,604 Is this what you guys want? 358 00:18:53,112 --> 00:18:54,972 You wanna play cops and robbers with costumes? 359 00:18:54,978 --> 00:18:56,516 Why is that guy a carrot? 360 00:18:57,031 --> 00:18:58,930 - Because they ran out. - Who tattled? 361 00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:03,953 In what world, Britta, do you see this as covert enough to require tattling? 362 00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:06,666 You built a bar in a school. 363 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,811 There was lumber involved. 364 00:19:08,830 --> 00:19:11,169 I have been letting you hole up down here, 365 00:19:11,182 --> 00:19:13,828 because it kept you contained and satisfied, 366 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:17,110 because you are all compulsively defiant, 367 00:19:17,117 --> 00:19:18,404 but it wasn't enough. 368 00:19:18,411 --> 00:19:21,584 You had to drag Abed back in, and Abed deserves better. 369 00:19:21,603 --> 00:19:25,838 - Oh. - Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, it finally comes out. 370 00:19:25,858 --> 00:19:28,605 Abed deserves better. 371 00:19:28,617 --> 00:19:30,932 - That's been out. - Shut up, Leonard. 372 00:19:30,945 --> 00:19:33,928 I once mistook six people for you at a pharmacy. 373 00:19:33,943 --> 00:19:35,716 It's not their fault, Frankie. I chose this. 374 00:19:35,723 --> 00:19:37,222 These are my friends. 375 00:19:37,846 --> 00:19:39,211 I hate emailing Diane. 376 00:19:39,236 --> 00:19:42,803 She can't commit to a font. It's pathological, and so am I. 377 00:19:42,822 --> 00:19:44,309 This is where I belong. 378 00:19:44,322 --> 00:19:48,241 I know you think that, Abed, but you don't know any better. 379 00:19:51,093 --> 00:19:52,075 Whoops. 380 00:19:52,088 --> 00:19:53,288 But-- 381 00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:55,933 shut up, Leonard. 382 00:19:55,952 --> 00:19:57,213 You are. 383 00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,090 You are old. 384 00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:02,606 And you deserve less, because of your age. 385 00:20:02,613 --> 00:20:04,068 I don't, I don't actually believe that. 386 00:20:04,081 --> 00:20:07,150 I'm just trying to, I'm trying to, and 387 00:20:07,175 --> 00:20:11,842 everybody here is a, is a fart a livid fart 388 00:20:11,867 --> 00:20:14,842 from the butt of a lesser god. 389 00:20:14,867 --> 00:20:16,922 I'm, I'm better than this. 390 00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:25,040 Cut to everyone on campus getting as drunk as they want montage. 391 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,979 Frankie hasn't come back to work today. 392 00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:44,541 That's terrible. 393 00:20:44,547 --> 00:20:46,100 The insurance company dropped us. 394 00:20:46,106 --> 00:20:48,493 - The school has no insurance. - What was Frankie's salary? 395 00:20:48,506 --> 00:20:50,126 - A lot. - What were the insurance premiums? 396 00:20:50,138 --> 00:20:53,479 - A lot. - Add those two numbers together, that's your new school dance budget. 397 00:20:53,504 --> 00:20:55,389 Oh, nice. 398 00:20:57,987 --> 00:21:00,278 Welcome to Ladders! 399 00:21:02,491 --> 00:21:03,978 Yeah! 400 00:21:13,980 --> 00:21:15,773 Ladder! 401 00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:20,830 Who wants to see the ladders professor go higher? 402 00:21:24,371 --> 00:21:26,341 Ladder! 403 00:21:26,366 --> 00:21:27,952 Aah! 404 00:21:30,030 --> 00:21:31,781 You did it, Jeff Winger! 405 00:21:31,788 --> 00:21:33,628 This is your school now. 406 00:21:38,928 --> 00:21:41,301 - Annie. - It was worth it. 407 00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:43,882 Aah! 408 00:21:51,554 --> 00:21:55,102 All right, that should be the extent of the professor's medical bills. 409 00:21:55,123 --> 00:21:57,196 What-What about that lawsuits from the students? 410 00:21:57,202 --> 00:21:58,503 I think we should fight those. 411 00:21:58,516 --> 00:22:00,610 Actually, I suggest you settle out of court. 412 00:22:00,616 --> 00:22:02,204 - This is my fault. - Obviously not. 413 00:22:02,216 --> 00:22:03,489 - It's my fault. - It's my fault. 414 00:22:03,502 --> 00:22:05,649 - Guys, it's my fault. - It's my fault. 415 00:22:05,655 --> 00:22:07,002 - It's my fault. - It's my fault. 416 00:22:07,015 --> 00:22:08,595 - It's my fault. - It's my fault. 417 00:22:10,841 --> 00:22:12,101 - It's my fault. - It's my fault. 418 00:22:12,107 --> 00:22:16,237 It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. 419 00:22:16,250 --> 00:22:17,893 All right, all right, all right. 420 00:22:17,900 --> 00:22:19,653 So, whose fault wasn't it? 421 00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:23,207 And who knows anything about handling anything like this? 422 00:22:24,217 --> 00:22:26,853 In terms of hierarchy, I'm a big believer in it. 423 00:22:26,867 --> 00:22:30,333 Someone needs to say, I'm in charge, and that person is me. 424 00:22:30,339 --> 00:22:32,259 That's my decision. 425 00:22:33,637 --> 00:22:35,230 Wait, what? 426 00:22:35,247 --> 00:22:36,720 - I'm sorry? - Who talks like that? 427 00:22:36,726 --> 00:22:39,231 Why would anyone hire someone so pompous? 428 00:22:39,244 --> 00:22:41,945 Miss Dart, word of advice, change your personality, 429 00:22:41,970 --> 00:22:44,423 or start looking for companies run by insane people. 430 00:22:45,218 --> 00:22:47,331 - Don't hire this woman. - Fifth time's the charm. 431 00:22:47,344 --> 00:22:49,623 He's barged the four offices screaming, don't hire this woman. 432 00:22:49,643 --> 00:22:52,425 - What the hell is going on? - What are you doing here? 433 00:22:52,432 --> 00:22:55,148 - How did you even find me? - I emailed Diane. 434 00:22:55,168 --> 00:22:56,868 She knows way too much about your schedule, by the way. 435 00:22:56,877 --> 00:23:00,920 Whatever he's offering you, Greendale, well, we can't double it. 436 00:23:00,926 --> 00:23:02,935 We probably can't even match it. 437 00:23:02,948 --> 00:23:07,746 Whatever he's offering you, Greendale will give you less, and an apology. 438 00:23:07,752 --> 00:23:09,708 - Do you know-- - Shh. 439 00:23:12,209 --> 00:23:13,948 It's not enough, 440 00:23:14,513 --> 00:23:19,121 but maybe if you added more apologies. 441 00:23:19,624 --> 00:23:21,528 Like a montage of them? 442 00:23:25,293 --> 00:23:26,241 We're sorry. 443 00:25:15,057 --> 00:25:17,117 I told you I wouldn't be needing dinner tonight. 444 00:25:17,130 --> 00:25:18,790 I'm guessing you wouldn't. 445 00:25:18,796 --> 00:25:20,554 Not if you're looking for this. 446 00:25:23,154 --> 00:25:23,921 How'd you know? 447 00:25:23,941 --> 00:25:26,274 Nobody makes more crumbs than a cook. 448 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,774 Well, the same goes for clues and detectives. 449 00:25:28,787 --> 00:25:31,771 You're too busy solving murders to get away with your own. 450 00:25:31,777 --> 00:25:34,791 Well, then, what about the case of my wife and my legs, Shirley? 451 00:25:34,796 --> 00:25:36,896 Can you solve that one, huh? Can you? 452 00:25:36,903 --> 00:25:39,596 Cuz if you can't, then I ain't got nothing to live for. 453 00:25:39,609 --> 00:25:41,516 Begging your pardon, Mr. Butcher. 454 00:25:41,536 --> 00:25:44,490 I think the people on this bayou would disagree. 455 00:25:44,503 --> 00:25:47,350 - You rescued a runaway girl today. - Rescued, balls. 456 00:25:47,363 --> 00:25:50,404 I couldn't even rescue a, a bulb from a socket. 457 00:25:50,412 --> 00:25:52,092 And you did all the work today, didn't you? 458 00:25:52,105 --> 00:25:56,705 I'm just a detective from the swamps of Atlanta, can't even walk. 459 00:25:56,718 --> 00:25:58,224 - Oh. - Aah! 460 00:25:58,236 --> 00:26:00,349 Then let me be your legs. 461 00:26:00,356 --> 00:26:04,019 Let me do for you what I did today every week until you find your wife. 462 00:26:04,032 --> 00:26:04,891 Or your legs. 463 00:26:04,904 --> 00:26:09,563 You are a stubborn son of a bitch, Shirley Bennett. 464 00:26:09,569 --> 00:26:11,646 Now come on. I have dinner to make. 465 00:26:11,661 --> 00:26:13,169 You got cases to solve. 466 00:26:19,923 --> 00:26:23,976 Feeling someone's gonna murder some tater tots tonight. 467 00:26:23,989 --> 00:26:25,901 That's no mystery at all. 468 00:26:38,353 --> 00:26:40,080 Next week, on The Butcher and The Baker, 469 00:26:40,105 --> 00:26:41,985 when a new detective on the Bayou disappears, 470 00:26:41,996 --> 00:26:45,584 and Butcher is the prime suspect, it's up to Shirley to cook up some answers. 471 00:26:46,089 --> 00:26:56,089 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for FiHTV WEB-DL by Rapunzel