1
00:00:01,325 --> 00:00:05,263
"Always scare Daniel-san,
Miyagi hate fighting."
2
00:00:06,125 --> 00:00:08,125
"Miyagi hate fighting."
3
00:00:08,613 --> 00:00:10,427
- Line?
- "Yeah, but you like karate."
4
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:13,138
Right, right, yeah, but,
y... you like karate though.
5
00:00:13,157 --> 00:00:14,439
So?
6
00:00:15,253 --> 00:00:18,613
- Line.
- Chang, the audition's at 3.00.
7
00:00:18,621 --> 00:00:21,341
Maybe I shouldn't go, you
know, maybe I'm a bad actor.
8
00:00:21,347 --> 00:00:23,487
Being good is
a fraction of acting.
9
00:00:23,512 --> 00:00:26,339
It takes discipline
and confidence.
10
00:00:26,352 --> 00:00:30,178
Discipline, confidence.
Okay from the top.
11
00:00:30,191 --> 00:00:33,342
"Always scare Daniel-san.
Miyagi hate fighting."
12
00:00:33,355 --> 00:00:34,889
Line.
13
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:36,009
I heard Karate Kid quotes.
14
00:00:36,015 --> 00:00:40,001
Chang is auditioning for the stage
adaptation of Karate Kid downtown.
15
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:42,851
Yeah, and it's for the
part of Daniel LaRusso.
16
00:00:42,858 --> 00:00:46,380
- You got a problem with that, racist?
- No, you're acting now?
17
00:00:46,386 --> 00:00:48,773
Yeah, you got
a problem with that?
18
00:00:48,784 --> 00:00:50,264
I'm clear.
19
00:00:50,277 --> 00:00:52,714
They took my snake, and they
turned it into a plumber.
20
00:00:52,721 --> 00:00:54,578
They made the eggs,
into barrels.
21
00:00:54,591 --> 00:00:57,658
The pine tree they made into a
gorilla, but I recognized my design.
22
00:00:57,671 --> 00:00:59,425
Donkey Kong my ass.
23
00:01:00,100 --> 00:01:01,528
That's construction snake.
24
00:01:01,541 --> 00:01:04,101
- I don't practice law anymore.
- But, we have a case, right?
25
00:01:04,107 --> 00:01:08,112
- Isn't everyone you'd be suing dead?
- That's not cool, man.
26
00:01:08,125 --> 00:01:11,850
- Why would a tree throw eggs at a snake?
- Why would a plumber be fighting a monkey?
27
00:01:11,870 --> 00:01:13,405
I don't know, I don't know.
28
00:01:13,828 --> 00:01:15,328
The Wi-Fi's still broken.
29
00:01:15,341 --> 00:01:17,945
- What happened to good morning?
- It's a bad morning, no Wi-Fi.
30
00:01:17,961 --> 00:01:19,295
Yeah, we really
need Wi-Fi.
31
00:01:19,309 --> 00:01:22,356
Okay, let's not get carried
away. We need oxygen.
32
00:01:22,362 --> 00:01:25,498
We have oxygen,
we need Wi-Fi.
33
00:01:25,513 --> 00:01:29,044
Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi.
34
00:01:29,062 --> 00:01:31,363
Okay, enough, right?
35
00:01:31,370 --> 00:01:33,669
Look what I'm doing, look.
36
00:01:33,682 --> 00:01:36,766
Fix, Wi-Fi.
37
00:01:36,772 --> 00:01:40,179
Mm-hm, okay,
boom and boom.
38
00:01:40,185 --> 00:01:43,908
All right. I, I'm trying
to find the IT lady.
39
00:01:43,921 --> 00:01:47,552
My emails to her get bounced back
to me in Aramaic, and when I call,
40
00:01:47,564 --> 00:01:50,661
I hear an undulating high-pitched
whistle that makes my nose bleed.
41
00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:53,388
Well, sounds like
a bad IT lady, right?
42
00:01:53,394 --> 00:01:56,121
- Frankie, hire a new IT lady.
- I'm pretty handy with technology.
43
00:01:56,127 --> 00:01:59,041
I'm assuming it's still the same,
smaller holes, more bytes.
44
00:01:59,054 --> 00:02:01,252
- Now what are we up to now, mega?
- Tera.
45
00:02:01,902 --> 00:02:03,269
Tera.
46
00:02:04,572 --> 00:02:06,847
They did it, those bastards.
They finally did it.
47
00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:09,157
Frankie, hire Elroy.
Elroy, you're the IT lady.
48
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,866
- Can I be his assistant?
- Not for money.
49
00:02:10,878 --> 00:02:13,130
- Can I be his friend?
- Elroy, Abed is your friend.
50
00:02:13,143 --> 00:02:17,554
Now the real reason
I came by, I'm dying.
51
00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:24,007
Not really, but imagine how bad you
feel for complaining about the Wi-Fi.
52
00:02:24,017 --> 00:02:26,502
Here's the real reason.
53
00:02:26,527 --> 00:02:27,967
Too short?
54
00:02:29,222 --> 00:02:30,758
It is too short?
55
00:02:32,431 --> 00:02:34,844
It's not too short? You
people are no help.
56
00:02:57,578 --> 00:03:05,078
sync and corrections by Caio
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
57
00:03:07,675 --> 00:03:10,051
School board come in.
58
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,917
School board,
you're surrounded.
59
00:03:11,929 --> 00:03:14,754
If this is about the bonfire, we'll
put it out when the weather breaks.
60
00:03:14,767 --> 00:03:16,587
We come in peace.
61
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,968
We've had our ups and downs,
but as of right now.
62
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:23,090
We love this school, and love
what you're doing with it.
63
00:03:23,103 --> 00:03:25,790
What? Why?
64
00:03:25,803 --> 00:03:27,483
What would you think
about moving up?
65
00:03:27,485 --> 00:03:29,299
- Well.
- Joining us on the board?
66
00:03:29,311 --> 00:03:32,231
Me? I would love to be
on the school board.
67
00:03:32,244 --> 00:03:33,944
- Awesome.
- Awesome.
68
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,530
One, one more thing.
69
00:03:35,555 --> 00:03:37,315
You're
70
00:03:37,340 --> 00:03:38,980
gay, right?
71
00:03:38,993 --> 00:03:42,260
I mean, like openly gay.
72
00:03:42,273 --> 00:03:46,397
Ah, I'm not openly anything, and
gay doesn't begin to cover it.
73
00:03:46,416 --> 00:03:48,460
No, no.
74
00:03:49,244 --> 00:03:50,906
Oh, I get it.
75
00:03:50,912 --> 00:03:54,279
This is about the uproar over you
guys cancelling the pride parade,
76
00:03:54,292 --> 00:03:55,625
for a school board parade.
77
00:03:55,638 --> 00:03:58,372
Those guys get to dress
fancy all year.
78
00:03:58,378 --> 00:03:59,445
- No, no.
- We have one day!
79
00:03:59,452 --> 00:04:01,599
No, this isn't about that.
80
00:04:01,605 --> 00:04:04,914
This is about adding
a new face to the board.
81
00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:07,614
But, if that new face
happened to be openly gay,
82
00:04:07,621 --> 00:04:10,218
it would be because
we're so tolerant.
83
00:04:10,231 --> 00:04:11,504
And always were.
84
00:04:11,529 --> 00:04:14,149
But, that's for
us to deal with.
85
00:04:14,162 --> 00:04:18,207
The question you have to
ask is, am I openly gay?
86
00:04:18,219 --> 00:04:21,476
Because, if you are that
gayness could be a rocket,
87
00:04:21,489 --> 00:04:23,482
thrusting you
to new gay heights.
88
00:04:23,495 --> 00:04:28,316
And if you're not. Well, there's
a lot of gay guys out there.
89
00:04:29,123 --> 00:04:32,329
I assume that's the selling
point of the lifestyle.
90
00:04:32,342 --> 00:04:34,175
You know, I, I, I never
thought about it that way.
91
00:04:34,180 --> 00:04:38,703
Well, I have. Cutting women
out of sex, it's genius.
92
00:04:40,397 --> 00:04:45,609
Gay Dean. Gay Dean.
Gay Dean. Gay Dean.
93
00:04:45,610 --> 00:04:51,361
I'm begging you to be a gay
dean of the school board.
94
00:04:55,907 --> 00:04:57,878
This should lead
to the router.
95
00:05:04,832 --> 00:05:06,574
Back up, back up, back up,
back up, back up, back back.
96
00:05:06,587 --> 00:05:07,867
Wh-Wh-What's going on?
97
00:05:07,873 --> 00:05:09,841
There's a birds nest in
there, with babies in it.
98
00:05:09,846 --> 00:05:11,593
The mother must have built
it there because of the heat.
99
00:05:11,599 --> 00:05:13,254
Same reason my mom took
my half brother to Arizona.
100
00:05:13,267 --> 00:05:15,918
That's probably why the Wi-Fi's
down, we'll have to move it.
101
00:05:15,926 --> 00:05:17,774
If you move them the mother
won't come back.
102
00:05:18,508 --> 00:05:21,288
Those birds aren't
the new IT lady, I am.
103
00:05:21,313 --> 00:05:22,746
I'll move it carefully.
104
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,519
The mother won't
come back.
105
00:05:25,382 --> 00:05:26,935
Kid,
106
00:05:26,946 --> 00:05:29,523
animals have been murdering each
other for 3 billion years.
107
00:05:29,536 --> 00:05:31,668
Birds have had their 15
million in the spotlight.
108
00:05:31,676 --> 00:05:33,327
The same as lizards
and plants
109
00:05:33,352 --> 00:05:37,515
and they all just use it to murder,
eat, screw and not invent Wi-Fi.
110
00:05:37,527 --> 00:05:39,483
Now we may end up
saving this world,
111
00:05:39,508 --> 00:05:41,421
or blowing it to hell
or making a new one.
112
00:05:41,427 --> 00:05:43,989
But we can't do any of it while
scheduling our evolution
113
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,642
around the needs of
the least lucky birds.
114
00:05:49,107 --> 00:05:51,171
What are you, a demon?
Did Clive Barker write you?
115
00:05:51,178 --> 00:05:54,074
Anyone who finds that nest,
will come to the same decision.
116
00:05:54,648 --> 00:05:56,398
And you don't
have to get mean.
117
00:05:57,133 --> 00:05:58,173
Mean?
118
00:05:58,198 --> 00:06:00,831
You just did a baby
bird murder monologue.
119
00:06:00,844 --> 00:06:02,088
Maybe they're close
to leaving the nest,
120
00:06:02,093 --> 00:06:04,641
until then can't you just stall
by doing what real IT people do?
121
00:06:04,647 --> 00:06:06,545
- What's that?
- Exactly.
122
00:06:09,353 --> 00:06:11,731
I've got one year
to make it all work,
123
00:06:11,756 --> 00:06:15,183
and that's what I'm gonna do,
make it work, all of it.
124
00:06:15,202 --> 00:06:17,237
This place is intimidating.
125
00:06:17,262 --> 00:06:18,777
You're gonna do great.
126
00:06:18,790 --> 00:06:22,479
Next up, Ben Chang, for
the role of Daniel LaRusso.
127
00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:27,767
Thank you.
128
00:06:27,775 --> 00:06:30,315
Daniel-san, why you
want learn karate?
129
00:06:30,328 --> 00:06:31,115
Hang on a second.
130
00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,882
- Sorry, I can do better.
- Zip it.
131
00:06:33,422 --> 00:06:34,935
Who are you?
132
00:06:34,941 --> 00:06:37,102
Oh, I'm Annie,
a friend of Chang's.
133
00:06:37,115 --> 00:06:39,425
You mind coming up here and
reading with your friend?
134
00:06:41,593 --> 00:06:44,034
Okay, if it helps.
135
00:06:52,884 --> 00:06:56,791
- "Daniel-san, what you want?"
- Okay, no, sorry, no.
136
00:06:56,804 --> 00:06:59,429
You read Daniel-san.
You read Miyagi.
137
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:03,722
We'll do scene seven,
Miyagi's office.
138
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,949
- Are you the repairman?
- Aye.
139
00:07:17,962 --> 00:07:21,155
- The faucet's really leaky there.
- Aye.
140
00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:23,087
When you gonna fix it?
141
00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:25,252
After.
142
00:07:25,266 --> 00:07:27,179
After what?
143
00:07:27,831 --> 00:07:29,497
After after.
144
00:07:30,094 --> 00:07:32,180
Tell everyone
else to go home.
145
00:07:32,186 --> 00:07:35,523
- We got the parts!
- Hear, hear.
146
00:07:35,529 --> 00:07:36,523
Parts plural?
147
00:07:36,529 --> 00:07:40,135
Well yeah, Annie got my part
and I got the Asian part.
148
00:07:40,148 --> 00:07:42,128
Chang... Stop!
149
00:07:42,141 --> 00:07:45,660
We were cast as Mr. Miyagi
and the Karate Kid,
150
00:07:45,678 --> 00:07:47,215
because we're a good team!
151
00:07:47,221 --> 00:07:49,567
We're a team, because
one of us is so talented
152
00:07:49,571 --> 00:07:52,840
she got cast outside her
gender and the other one,
153
00:07:52,845 --> 00:07:54,612
got cast because
of eye shape.
154
00:07:54,618 --> 00:07:58,116
I am not letting you
sabotage yourself like this.
155
00:07:58,122 --> 00:07:59,303
Let's say you're right.
156
00:07:59,316 --> 00:08:04,506
And like Sidney Poitier or Meg Ryan
before you, you were cast for race.
157
00:08:04,519 --> 00:08:08,756
It's what the actor does with
the role they get, that matters.
158
00:08:08,765 --> 00:08:10,962
- All right?
- You're right.
159
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:14,476
All right, IT lady.
How goes it?
160
00:08:14,484 --> 00:08:16,562
- I found your problem.
- And?
161
00:08:20,111 --> 00:08:21,925
I'll need a little time to fix it.
162
00:08:21,938 --> 00:08:24,169
Wow, need time to fix it?
163
00:08:24,187 --> 00:08:26,301
You sound just like
you work in IT.
164
00:08:26,307 --> 00:08:27,874
I've got some
interesting news,
165
00:08:27,899 --> 00:08:30,352
the school board,
offered me a position.
166
00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,390
- Ooh.
- Great.
167
00:08:32,403 --> 00:08:33,337
Cool.
168
00:08:33,350 --> 00:08:36,664
Well I got a part in a play and
we were sort of talking about that,
169
00:08:36,677 --> 00:08:38,978
so read the room Pelton.
170
00:08:39,001 --> 00:08:41,008
Are you gonna
take the job?
171
00:08:41,025 --> 00:08:44,887
I don't know,
there's a catch.
172
00:08:45,468 --> 00:08:48,316
Jeffrey, Frankie, could I see
you in my office please?
173
00:08:49,449 --> 00:08:52,294
They want you to be
a token homosexual?
174
00:08:52,308 --> 00:08:55,115
It's a form of progress,
30 years ago,
175
00:08:55,127 --> 00:08:58,220
the most power an openly gay could
achieve was a center square.
176
00:08:58,226 --> 00:09:01,540
- But I'm not just gay.
- What does that mean?
177
00:09:01,553 --> 00:09:04,024
If coming out is
a magic show,
178
00:09:04,049 --> 00:09:05,984
and gayness is the rabbit
out of the hat,
179
00:09:06,003 --> 00:09:09,061
I'm one of those
never-ending handkerchiefs.
180
00:09:10,170 --> 00:09:11,979
The sad truth, Craig?
181
00:09:12,004 --> 00:09:16,033
Anything other than straight,
is plenty gay for a school board.
182
00:09:16,039 --> 00:09:20,525
The most important point is, are you
prepared to make your sexuality,
183
00:09:20,538 --> 00:09:22,555
which is nobody's business,
184
00:09:22,573 --> 00:09:26,173
an aspect of your
role in society?
185
00:09:26,186 --> 00:09:28,387
I know I'm not, so I don't.
186
00:09:28,399 --> 00:09:29,893
No?
187
00:09:29,906 --> 00:09:33,625
When a person becomes symbolic
they gain symbolic power,
188
00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:36,518
at the price of
independent power.
189
00:09:36,524 --> 00:09:38,263
Yep. That's an excellent point.
190
00:09:38,776 --> 00:09:42,888
It could be good for Greendale, for one
of our own to be on the school board.
191
00:09:42,908 --> 00:09:44,521
I mean the fact that
you'd be leaving a few items
192
00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:46,794
off your list of your
turn-ons, I mean,
193
00:09:46,799 --> 00:09:51,026
the goal in politics, isn't
transparency, it's winning.
194
00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:54,566
- That's why the politicians always win.
- They do always win, don't they?
195
00:09:54,572 --> 00:09:59,090
But now I get a chance to win. I could
change the system from the inside out.
196
00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:03,199
And all I have to do is pare down
my sexuality to simple gayness,
197
00:10:03,205 --> 00:10:06,592
- which is heavily in the mix.
- There you go.
198
00:10:07,644 --> 00:10:09,224
Get ready, America.
199
00:10:09,231 --> 00:10:14,582
Dean Pelton is coming out as approximately
two-sevenths of what he is.
200
00:10:16,942 --> 00:10:19,489
Come on. Don't
leave me hanging.
201
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:21,710
There we go.
202
00:10:24,566 --> 00:10:25,860
I am so curious.
203
00:10:25,872 --> 00:10:27,698
- Oh.
- Intellectually.
204
00:10:28,512 --> 00:10:29,592
All right.
205
00:10:29,617 --> 00:10:31,164
This is a pretty
basic scene.
206
00:10:31,170 --> 00:10:33,855
No real subtext. Let's just
get it up on its feet.
207
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:37,347
There's no wrong answers.
Okay? Great. Go.
208
00:10:43,584 --> 00:10:46,171
Hey, come fix faucet.
209
00:10:50,405 --> 00:10:53,703
Oh, Karate, learn
from book?
210
00:10:53,716 --> 00:10:58,461
Yeah. And a few classes back at
the Y in Jersey where I'm from.
211
00:10:58,474 --> 00:11:00,028
What happened I?
212
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:04,172
Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there.
I guess there are wrong answers.
213
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:05,245
Quick adjustment, Ben.
214
00:11:05,258 --> 00:11:08,131
- Yeah?
- Act better. Act better.
215
00:11:08,144 --> 00:11:11,065
Thanks. Annie, you're doing great.
Keep doing what you're doing.
216
00:11:11,078 --> 00:11:11,818
Oh.
217
00:11:11,824 --> 00:11:15,118
- Can I ask about by motiv...
- Keep me from puking is your motivation.
218
00:11:15,124 --> 00:11:17,733
Stop making me want to quit
the theater and kill myself.
219
00:11:17,739 --> 00:11:20,309
Go. After "What happened I."
220
00:11:20,704 --> 00:11:22,285
Oh. Okay.
221
00:11:22,887 --> 00:11:25,267
Hey. I fell off my bike.
222
00:11:25,287 --> 00:11:28,067
Hm. Lucky no hurt hand.
223
00:11:28,074 --> 00:11:29,641
Okay.
224
00:11:29,666 --> 00:11:31,299
Can I see this tool box?
225
00:11:33,716 --> 00:11:35,842
Great. This is good. Got it.
226
00:11:37,999 --> 00:11:43,245
I got distracted cuz the tools
were doing a better job than you.
227
00:11:43,264 --> 00:11:45,957
What happened I? Say it.
228
00:11:45,968 --> 00:11:47,106
What happened I.
229
00:11:47,117 --> 00:11:50,292
Liar. Stop lying to me.
Say it.
230
00:11:50,305 --> 00:11:53,803
- What happened I.
- What happened actor?
231
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:55,880
You crying?
232
00:11:56,345 --> 00:11:58,107
You cry when
I tell you to cry.
233
00:11:58,525 --> 00:12:03,188
So reabsorb that disgusting droplet of salt
and bad choices back into your doughy body.
234
00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:05,593
And then call your mother
to see if you can be reabsorbed
235
00:12:05,618 --> 00:12:07,646
back into her doughy
body or so help me God,
236
00:12:07,671 --> 00:12:11,178
I will take that tear, I will freeze it,
and I will stab you in the eye with it,
237
00:12:11,191 --> 00:12:14,547
you waste of a soul-shaped
hole forgotten by God.
238
00:12:16,672 --> 00:12:18,048
Okay.
239
00:12:18,073 --> 00:12:18,953
What should I...
240
00:12:18,959 --> 00:12:22,056
Annie, don't change a thing, you're
perfect. Unless you want to.
241
00:12:22,562 --> 00:12:24,047
Okay.
242
00:12:28,872 --> 00:12:34,429
All right I'm Rich Countee, this is my
man Carl. We work on the school board.
243
00:12:34,442 --> 00:12:36,814
- Yeah, we do.
- We have some exciting news for you.
244
00:12:36,833 --> 00:12:39,492
Your own dean,
Craig Pelton,
245
00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:43,684
has been selected to join the board
of Colorado Community Colleges,
246
00:12:43,709 --> 00:12:45,602
and I'll just, go,
go ahead Dean.
247
00:12:45,615 --> 00:12:47,062
Guys. Talk.
248
00:12:47,068 --> 00:12:49,569
Okay. Hello Greendale.
249
00:12:50,031 --> 00:12:54,636
As you know, this is something
I wanted for a very long time
250
00:12:54,642 --> 00:12:56,975
and I wanted to thank all
of the people at Greendale
251
00:12:56,982 --> 00:13:02,425
that helped me achieve this
and my partner, Domingo.
252
00:13:02,438 --> 00:13:07,214
- Very proud of my Craig.
- Oh, that's, but, oh, oh.
253
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:09,660
And now let's open it
up to some questions.
254
00:13:09,666 --> 00:13:10,500
- Dean.
- Dean.
255
00:13:10,506 --> 00:13:13,844
As a gay dean, what is your opinion
about the recent controversy
256
00:13:13,869 --> 00:13:15,889
surrounding the cancelled
Pride Parade,
257
00:13:15,914 --> 00:13:17,979
and do you think you were
selected to join the board
258
00:13:18,004 --> 00:13:20,345
- because of your sexual preference?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
259
00:13:20,351 --> 00:13:24,494
I would just like to say that we are very
proud to have Mr. Pelton on the board,
260
00:13:24,508 --> 00:13:26,401
whatever his
lifestyle may be.
261
00:13:26,414 --> 00:13:28,477
Which happens to be gay!
262
00:13:28,487 --> 00:13:31,077
Which is great,
but irrelevant!
263
00:13:31,655 --> 00:13:34,069
Hey, it gets better!
264
00:13:37,965 --> 00:13:41,260
Oh good. We're so happy.
265
00:13:41,267 --> 00:13:43,274
- I feel like scum.
- Gay people are scum?
266
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:44,918
Hey, don't play that
card with me young man.
267
00:13:44,924 --> 00:13:46,851
I make gayness look
like Mormonism.
268
00:13:46,864 --> 00:13:48,411
I don't like being
this dishonest.
269
00:13:48,424 --> 00:13:51,078
Dean, I want to say
thanks for doing this.
270
00:13:51,084 --> 00:13:53,671
I never knew. I mean,
people talked, but...
271
00:13:53,677 --> 00:13:56,382
Sure, well, it really doesn't
have anything to do with my work.
272
00:13:56,388 --> 00:14:01,111
Yeah, but it's helpful, to me.
You know, and to a lot of us, so.
273
00:14:01,124 --> 00:14:02,603
Thank you.
274
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:07,831
Hm.
275
00:14:09,112 --> 00:14:11,481
Confine yourself
to your role, Domingo.
276
00:14:12,790 --> 00:14:13,884
And lose the attitude.
277
00:14:13,909 --> 00:14:19,372
♪ Gay Dean. Gay Dean.
Gay Dean. Gay Dean. ♪
278
00:14:19,390 --> 00:14:25,287
♪ I'm begging you to be a Gay
Dean of the school board. ♪
279
00:14:25,805 --> 00:14:30,043
♪ Your lifestyle is alternative,
your influence is positive ♪
280
00:14:30,047 --> 00:14:34,336
♪ You represent
the changing of the tide. ♪
281
00:14:34,354 --> 00:14:37,787
♪ Gay Dean. ♪
♪ Gay Dean. ♪
282
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,940
Hare krishna.
Krishna krishna.
283
00:14:41,946 --> 00:14:44,767
Oh, Daniel-san,
you much-a humor.
284
00:14:44,773 --> 00:14:47,112
Hm, okay.
Let's stop there.
285
00:14:55,306 --> 00:14:59,067
I'm not gonna hit you. And
it's not because it's illegal,
286
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,515
and it's certainly not because
I'm afraid you know karate
287
00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:05,043
because there is nothing about
your performance that is believable.
288
00:15:05,049 --> 00:15:08,970
See, we only hit things,
that effect us.
289
00:15:08,982 --> 00:15:11,620
I don't hit water,
or old mayonnaise.
290
00:15:11,637 --> 00:15:14,157
Or the air after
a fart has dissipated.
291
00:15:14,170 --> 00:15:17,217
And I'm not hitting you.
292
00:15:17,230 --> 00:15:19,743
You are the worst actor
I've ever directed
293
00:15:19,756 --> 00:15:22,289
and I've directed
both Wahlbergs!
294
00:15:22,749 --> 00:15:23,942
From the top!
295
00:15:23,948 --> 00:15:27,122
Danny does a bit with the floor
sanders, Miyagi is amused,
296
00:15:27,128 --> 00:15:31,285
and Kenny gets me another god damned
cup of coffee with six Splendas in it!
297
00:15:35,147 --> 00:15:37,268
Hare Krishna.
298
00:15:37,881 --> 00:15:41,301
He's so mean to Chang.
I don't know what to do.
299
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,708
You could just drop
out of the play.
300
00:15:43,733 --> 00:15:48,446
Well, you know I could.
Or Chang could.
301
00:15:48,453 --> 00:15:50,976
I mean, the director is
not being mean to me.
302
00:15:50,982 --> 00:15:52,842
But you talked Chang
into auditioning
303
00:15:52,853 --> 00:15:55,738
and then you got his part
and now he's suffering.
304
00:15:56,721 --> 00:16:00,100
- You're right, I should threaten to quit.
- Or just quit.
305
00:16:00,116 --> 00:16:04,292
Well, if I threaten to quit maybe that will
be enough for him to stop abusing Chang.
306
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,202
I was kind of born
to act, Britta.
307
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:12,539
When I do it, I can feel
it pleasing the universe.
308
00:16:13,531 --> 00:16:17,519
- That's dramatic.
- See?
309
00:16:24,196 --> 00:16:26,734
The internet says that if they're sparrows
they'll be flying in less than 12 days.
310
00:16:26,747 --> 00:16:29,121
If they're albatrosses,
we're in trouble.
311
00:16:31,393 --> 00:16:34,169
Albatrosses have a 270
day fledgling period.
312
00:16:41,045 --> 00:16:43,009
Thanks for guarding
the nest with me.
313
00:16:45,691 --> 00:16:46,518
Uh-oh.
314
00:16:46,525 --> 00:16:49,098
This is what you do
when you're working?
315
00:16:49,629 --> 00:16:50,730
Must be nice.
316
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,423
All right, look. There's a
bird's nest in the router.
317
00:16:53,443 --> 00:16:55,203
Now if you want
to fire me, fire me.
318
00:16:55,216 --> 00:16:59,935
Either way, until those birds are
gone nobody gets any closer.
319
00:17:01,010 --> 00:17:02,277
Well of course not.
320
00:17:02,301 --> 00:17:04,568
If you move them the mother
won't come back.
321
00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:06,147
Keep up the good work.
322
00:17:12,745 --> 00:17:14,991
Show me wax on.
323
00:17:14,998 --> 00:17:17,437
This is the worst acting
I've ever seen in my life.
324
00:17:18,936 --> 00:17:21,430
Show me wax, off.
325
00:17:21,443 --> 00:17:24,576
The ghost of your father
just turned his back on you.
326
00:17:24,589 --> 00:17:27,276
Your ancestors are
clawing their way
327
00:17:27,301 --> 00:17:29,674
deeper into the Earth
to get away from you,
328
00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,965
you make me embarrassed
to have thumbs,
329
00:17:31,977 --> 00:17:34,023
I can see air
quotes around you.
330
00:17:34,036 --> 00:17:37,398
Show me, paint fence.
331
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:38,852
Knock, knock, knock,
anybody home?
332
00:17:38,864 --> 00:17:40,968
Oh look, there's nobody
here, oh it's so dusty,
333
00:17:40,974 --> 00:17:42,981
it's almost like nobody's
been here in years.
334
00:17:42,994 --> 00:17:44,425
There's a note.
335
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:47,567
"Never let me act."
336
00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:51,591
Mr. Lundergard, I'm sorry, but I
cannot stand by while you do this.
337
00:17:51,597 --> 00:17:53,424
That's fine, you can go.
338
00:17:54,330 --> 00:17:55,843
I'm not bluffing.
339
00:17:55,849 --> 00:17:58,792
You can't make an actor more
talented by yelling at them.
340
00:17:58,805 --> 00:18:02,425
And if you don't stop, your lead
character is going to walk.
341
00:18:03,099 --> 00:18:04,379
Lead?
342
00:18:05,044 --> 00:18:06,691
You play Danny LaRusso.
343
00:18:07,099 --> 00:18:09,139
Well I'm the Karate Kid.
344
00:18:09,145 --> 00:18:12,661
The Karate Kid is
about Kesuke Miyagi,
345
00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:15,660
an immigrant who fought against
his own people in World War II,
346
00:18:15,673 --> 00:18:19,010
while his wife lost a child
in an internment camp.
347
00:18:19,023 --> 00:18:22,948
Noriyuki Morita was nominated for
an Academy Award for his performance.
348
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,979
Ralph Macchio? Showed up.
349
00:18:25,992 --> 00:18:30,271
I cast you because your measurements allow
me to use the same wardrobe as last year.
350
00:18:30,296 --> 00:18:32,864
I cast Ben because
he has the sadness
351
00:18:32,889 --> 00:18:35,456
and talent that could
make this show great.
352
00:18:35,468 --> 00:18:38,969
If I have to physically
drill into his chest
353
00:18:38,994 --> 00:18:41,861
and suck it out
with a straw!
354
00:18:41,874 --> 00:18:44,067
So you can take
a flying kick
355
00:18:44,092 --> 00:18:46,459
and a rolling donut!
You're fired.
356
00:18:47,470 --> 00:18:49,530
But I'm talented,
too, right?
357
00:18:49,543 --> 00:18:52,690
What? No. Really? Really?
358
00:18:52,697 --> 00:18:56,070
Oh my God! You're like doing a
terrible Vinnie Barbarino up here.
359
00:18:56,084 --> 00:18:58,395
But, like, I know you're not
capable of anything better,
360
00:18:58,401 --> 00:19:00,907
so, that's why I've been
so nice to you.
361
00:19:00,913 --> 00:19:02,179
Take care Annie.
362
00:19:03,221 --> 00:19:04,636
Yikes, right?
363
00:19:05,247 --> 00:19:06,556
What a diva.
364
00:19:09,358 --> 00:19:13,069
- Thanks for sticking up for me.
- No problem?
365
00:19:15,210 --> 00:19:17,382
From now on,
she's dead to us.
366
00:19:18,350 --> 00:19:20,727
Hey gay Dean, we got
a problem here.
367
00:19:20,752 --> 00:19:22,092
You ring the local papers?
368
00:19:22,099 --> 00:19:27,073
You've shut down the campus Wi-Fi
until a nest of baby birds can grow?
369
00:19:27,086 --> 00:19:28,487
That's a little too gay.
370
00:19:28,499 --> 00:19:31,213
I didn't do it because I'm gay.
Wait, I'm not gay.
371
00:19:31,226 --> 00:19:33,506
Oh, that did not
just get said to us.
372
00:19:33,519 --> 00:19:35,850
You are gay. You are
openly gay and we love it.
373
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,443
But now we are dealing with
more flak from conservatives
374
00:19:38,468 --> 00:19:42,215
for appointing you than we ever did
from gays for not having one of you.
375
00:19:42,221 --> 00:19:44,581
Yeah, and the gays aren't
coming to your side.
376
00:19:44,586 --> 00:19:48,041
You know why? Because the whole
point is to get a job by being gay
377
00:19:48,046 --> 00:19:50,348
and then to do as good
of job as the normals.
378
00:19:50,361 --> 00:19:52,022
That's what the gays want.
379
00:19:52,034 --> 00:19:55,470
They don't want a gay dean who
acts like a weird gay monster.
380
00:19:55,476 --> 00:19:58,729
- I'm not a gay dean.
- Whoa, not cool, man.
381
00:19:58,741 --> 00:20:00,694
Don't bring us into
your web of lies.
382
00:20:00,701 --> 00:20:02,311
Well,
383
00:20:02,325 --> 00:20:07,540
- now what do you want me to do?
- Figure it out, gay dean. Figure it out.
384
00:20:10,004 --> 00:20:12,478
- Hey, Domingo.
- Hey, what's up?
385
00:20:15,836 --> 00:20:19,548
Guys, the school needs Wi-Fi,
and my job is to run the school.
386
00:20:19,554 --> 00:20:21,688
The school doesn't
need baby birds.
387
00:20:21,701 --> 00:20:25,255
- The nest needs to be moved.
- You are not crossing this line.
388
00:20:25,261 --> 00:20:28,604
- I'm taping this. This is on video.
- Guys...
389
00:20:28,623 --> 00:20:34,292
This is two white security guards versus
one unarmed black man and two baby birds.
390
00:20:34,736 --> 00:20:35,869
Your move.
391
00:20:36,592 --> 00:20:38,632
Stand down. Stand down.
392
00:20:38,644 --> 00:20:40,774
No security, no weapons.
393
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:46,808
Just one unarmed black man versus
one unarmed, openly gay dean.
394
00:20:49,468 --> 00:20:51,964
Now move that nest, please.
395
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:58,657
Just a hair back Domingo, it's
like you're breathing for me.
396
00:20:58,682 --> 00:21:04,376
♪ Your lifestyle is alternative,
your influence is positive ♪
397
00:21:04,386 --> 00:21:09,323
♪ You represent
the changing of the tide. ♪
398
00:21:10,166 --> 00:21:13,152
♪ Inspiring to young gay men ♪
399
00:21:13,170 --> 00:21:16,114
♪ You'll never be
ashamed again ♪
400
00:21:16,139 --> 00:21:21,464
♪ But there's another
secret locked inside. ♪
401
00:21:21,475 --> 00:21:29,510
♪ Gay Dean. Gay Dean.
Gay Dean. Gay Dean. ♪
402
00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:35,808
♪ I'm begging you to be a Gay
Dean of the school board. ♪
403
00:21:35,826 --> 00:21:43,153
♪ Gay Dean. Gay Dean.
Gay Dean. Gay Dean. ♪
404
00:22:01,470 --> 00:22:02,937
I have called this
press conference
405
00:22:02,962 --> 00:22:06,465
because I have been less
than honest with the public.
406
00:22:06,477 --> 00:22:09,955
You know me as the openly gay dean
of Greendale Community College,
407
00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:14,319
but that doesn't even begin
to describe what I really am.
408
00:22:14,326 --> 00:22:16,301
I belong to one of
the most marginalized
409
00:22:16,305 --> 00:22:20,432
and least openly honest
groups in America.
410
00:22:22,749 --> 00:22:24,662
I am
411
00:22:25,381 --> 00:22:26,829
a politician.
412
00:22:27,482 --> 00:22:28,929
Now what does that mean?
413
00:22:28,949 --> 00:22:31,558
Are politicians like you?
Well we look like you,
414
00:22:31,564 --> 00:22:34,507
but we will say and do
whatever we have to
415
00:22:34,518 --> 00:22:37,111
in order to acquire
and keep our jobs.
416
00:22:37,123 --> 00:22:44,322
It means nothing I say and very few
of the things I think can be trusted.
417
00:22:46,717 --> 00:22:51,666
I am tired of being in this particular
closet so I am coming out now.
418
00:22:53,590 --> 00:22:55,481
I only hope
419
00:22:55,485 --> 00:23:00,233
that you can accept an openly
political person on your board.
420
00:23:01,391 --> 00:23:02,904
If not,
421
00:23:03,822 --> 00:23:05,305
I understand.
422
00:23:06,057 --> 00:23:07,602
Thank you.
423
00:23:12,878 --> 00:23:16,196
It's just faster if I get to my office this
way. We don't need any pictures of this.
424
00:23:16,949 --> 00:23:19,319
I can't believe the Dean got
kicked off the school board
425
00:23:19,332 --> 00:23:21,272
just for admitting
he's political.
426
00:23:21,285 --> 00:23:21,972
Yeah.
427
00:23:21,978 --> 00:23:24,392
Some groups take longer than
others to gain acceptance.
428
00:23:24,405 --> 00:23:27,354
We like our politicians in the
closet because we're afraid,
429
00:23:27,367 --> 00:23:29,820
deep down, we're all
a little political.
430
00:23:29,827 --> 00:23:33,174
- Any of you guys smell a bird murderer?
- I came here to apologize.
431
00:23:33,179 --> 00:23:35,912
Well, I hope your apology comes
with a beak and hollow bones
432
00:23:35,925 --> 00:23:38,423
and a special magnet in its
head it uses to migrate.
433
00:23:38,429 --> 00:23:40,610
- You skipped wings.
- Insects have wings.
434
00:23:40,617 --> 00:23:41,597
I'm sorry.
435
00:23:41,610 --> 00:23:45,810
I'm sorry, Abed. I lost myself
in a role. It won't happen again.
436
00:23:45,829 --> 00:23:46,823
Two of them died.
437
00:23:46,842 --> 00:23:48,004
There's one left. He's hanging on,
438
00:23:48,010 --> 00:23:50,832
but I'm worried he's turning into
a symbol of my own innocence.
439
00:23:53,894 --> 00:23:55,207
Isn't Chang's play tonight?
440
00:23:55,218 --> 00:23:57,739
If any of you go, you're
supporting abuse.
441
00:23:57,758 --> 00:23:59,745
- Oh, dial it back, Annie.
- Oh.
442
00:23:59,751 --> 00:24:01,064
Well, I'm definitely in.
443
00:24:01,084 --> 00:24:04,109
It'll be interesting to see how his fake
crying is different from his real crying.
444
00:24:04,122 --> 00:24:06,601
Well I'm a big fan of
the performing arts,
445
00:24:06,619 --> 00:24:08,881
but I'll go to Chang's play anyway.
446
00:24:08,893 --> 00:24:10,829
Karate Kid adaptation?
Karate Kid adaptation?
447
00:24:10,833 --> 00:24:12,486
Karate Kid adaptation?
Karate Kid adaptation?
448
00:24:12,498 --> 00:24:14,148
Karate Kid adaptation?
449
00:24:28,409 --> 00:24:29,482
Karate Kid adaptation?
450
00:24:29,494 --> 00:24:33,100
Okay. I might.
I'm catching up.
451
00:24:37,878 --> 00:24:40,279
Directors have a saying.
452
00:24:40,291 --> 00:24:45,021
Actors are worthless,
empty-headed homunculi,
453
00:24:45,029 --> 00:24:49,237
but the right one,
in the right role
454
00:24:49,262 --> 00:24:50,802
can change the world.
455
00:24:50,808 --> 00:24:52,062
Hm,
456
00:24:52,087 --> 00:24:53,987
I have found
the right one.
457
00:24:53,993 --> 00:24:57,316
He's found the right
role, and tonight,
458
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,362
your world changes.
459
00:24:59,375 --> 00:25:00,799
You're welcome.
460
00:25:16,673 --> 00:25:19,013
- He replaced me with Annie Kim.
- Shh.
461
00:25:19,019 --> 00:25:20,619
- Hee-ah!
- Ow.
462
00:25:20,631 --> 00:25:22,711
Sorry. You okay?
463
00:25:23,797 --> 00:25:26,298
You must be the new
people in apartment 20.
464
00:25:26,892 --> 00:25:30,125
- What was that? Karate?
- Yeah, you know?
465
00:25:30,138 --> 00:25:33,082
Hey, me and some of my friends are
gonna have a party at the beach later.
466
00:25:33,095 --> 00:25:34,461
You should come.
467
00:25:35,454 --> 00:25:38,193
- Hey! Are you the repair man?
- Aye.
468
00:25:38,207 --> 00:25:41,161
- Faucet's really leaking there.
- Aye.
469
00:25:41,981 --> 00:25:44,882
- When are you gonna fix it?
- After.
470
00:25:44,889 --> 00:25:46,451
After what?
471
00:25:47,103 --> 00:25:48,664
After, after.
472
00:25:50,974 --> 00:25:53,834
Come ask, leave boy
alone to train.
473
00:25:53,846 --> 00:25:57,965
You got a lot of nerve, old man.
But I like that. I like that.
474
00:25:57,978 --> 00:26:01,249
- Name a place.
- Tournament.
475
00:26:05,179 --> 00:26:06,399
Sergeant Miyagi.
476
00:26:06,421 --> 00:26:10,168
Yes, sir. Regret
to inform wife, sir.
477
00:26:13,797 --> 00:26:17,483
Complication at birth, sir.
478
00:26:19,395 --> 00:26:22,573
No doctor, it can't.
479
00:26:25,035 --> 00:26:26,496
Oh, shit.
480
00:26:27,935 --> 00:26:29,509
Oh, shit.
481
00:26:30,576 --> 00:26:32,562
- Please forgive me.
- Shh.
482
00:26:35,574 --> 00:26:38,807
No need fight anymore,
you proved point.
483
00:26:38,813 --> 00:26:41,721
What? That I could
take a beating?
484
00:26:41,733 --> 00:26:44,578
Every time I see
those guys,
485
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:46,814
they'll know they
got the best of me.
486
00:26:47,794 --> 00:26:49,227
Close eye.
487
00:27:05,671 --> 00:27:07,394
Get up, Daniel.
488
00:27:08,379 --> 00:27:09,420
Get up!
489
00:27:20,068 --> 00:27:21,635
Yeah, woo woo!
490
00:27:22,313 --> 00:27:24,869
- You all right, LaRusso?
- Yeah, you missed my head.
491
00:27:25,465 --> 00:27:28,110
We did it, Mister Miyagi.
We did it.
492
00:27:33,691 --> 00:27:36,918
- I'm speechless.
- I forgot Chang was up there.
493
00:27:36,924 --> 00:27:37,697
Me, too.
494
00:27:37,717 --> 00:27:42,035
It's such a relief to be able to support
him out of something other than fear.
495
00:27:42,042 --> 00:27:43,895
I guess all that suffering
Chang endured paid off.
496
00:27:43,908 --> 00:27:45,651
It's not what the play suggests,
but you have to wonder
497
00:27:45,663 --> 00:27:48,049
if it wouldn't have been better
for Daniel to get beat up even more.
498
00:27:48,056 --> 00:27:52,015
I am at a total loss about what
lesson to learn from any of this.
499
00:27:52,021 --> 00:27:54,546
- Maybe that's the lesson.
- Hm.
500
00:27:55,104 --> 00:27:58,082
- I lost a button.
- Maybe we all lost a button.
501
00:28:00,339 --> 00:28:01,658
Hey, hey guys!
502
00:28:04,146 --> 00:28:05,828
Thank you so much.
503
00:28:05,834 --> 00:28:10,596
- Hey, thank you for making me do this.
- You're welcome. Congratulations.
504
00:28:11,515 --> 00:28:13,680
- I'm jealous.
- No, no, don't be.
505
00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:15,108
Believe me, I sit
in my dressing room
506
00:28:15,115 --> 00:28:18,729
and all I dream about is a
white picket fence and a dog.
507
00:28:18,741 --> 00:28:20,882
I don't have those either.
508
00:28:21,735 --> 00:28:23,172
Chang, let's go.
509
00:28:23,638 --> 00:28:26,478
I guess all the actors go to some
sort of actor bar together.
510
00:28:26,491 --> 00:28:29,369
So, I'll see you guys at school.
Bye.
511
00:28:37,187 --> 00:28:40,841
Hey, I know this great bar for
people that don't hate themselves.
512
00:28:41,623 --> 00:28:43,215
What do you say?
513
00:28:43,909 --> 00:28:45,732
My lady.
514
00:28:46,943 --> 00:28:48,576
My lord.
515
00:28:53,367 --> 00:28:57,862
We are gathered here today to celebrate
the release of this bird into these skies.
516
00:28:57,875 --> 00:29:01,746
That its now fully formed wings may
find purchase upon the four winds.
517
00:29:01,765 --> 00:29:04,112
If anyone would like to say
something, now's the time.
518
00:29:06,625 --> 00:29:11,454
Oh, I'll always remember how you
kept me from getting email for a week.
519
00:29:11,479 --> 00:29:14,450
And that chirp you do
when you want more bread.
520
00:29:14,470 --> 00:29:15,770
Yeah, that one.
521
00:29:15,790 --> 00:29:18,593
And now everyone, please put on
your cat masks and finger wings.
522
00:29:23,620 --> 00:29:27,495
With these cat masks, we remind you that
this place can no longer be your home,
523
00:29:27,508 --> 00:29:29,454
but with the fluttering
of these wings,
524
00:29:29,467 --> 00:29:31,923
we symbolically join your
flight into the natural world.
525
00:29:31,935 --> 00:29:33,095
Wings everyone.
526
00:29:38,353 --> 00:29:40,313
Okay. You can go now.
527
00:29:40,319 --> 00:29:42,142
Yeah. Off you go.
528
00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:45,220
Time to go, little bird,
that's just the way it is.
529
00:29:45,233 --> 00:29:46,901
Whee!
530
00:29:48,061 --> 00:29:50,112
Aw.
531
00:29:51,888 --> 00:29:53,821
- Then it's done.
- You did the right thing, Abed.
532
00:29:53,834 --> 00:29:56,848
Thanks to you, that bird has his
whole bird life ahead of him, to fly,
533
00:29:56,867 --> 00:29:58,868
meet lady birds, even
start a bird family.
534
00:29:58,881 --> 00:30:00,255
You made a difference.
535
00:30:01,281 --> 00:30:03,160
- Aw.
- Abed.
536
00:30:12,820 --> 00:30:19,820
sync and corrections by Caio
www.addic7ed.com
Resync for WEB-DL by Norther