1
00:00:00,083 --> 00:00:01,343
Oh, milk it, Dersy.
2
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:05,380
- Ho ho ho ho!
- Oh! Milk the mother teat.
3
00:00:05,546 --> 00:00:07,088
Man, it is hella cool
4
00:00:07,156 --> 00:00:09,217
when, like, the moon is out
during the day.
5
00:00:09,383 --> 00:00:11,219
- How does that even work?
- I don't know.
6
00:00:11,385 --> 00:00:13,528
When you think about it,
the stars are still there,
7
00:00:13,595 --> 00:00:16,097
and, like, they just
keep going, you know?
8
00:00:16,165 --> 00:00:19,186
They go on for, like,
forever, like... foreverever.
9
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,335
- Foreverever?
- Yeah.
10
00:00:21,403 --> 00:00:23,938
It's like Joe Rogan says.
We're just talking monkeys
11
00:00:24,005 --> 00:00:26,860
on an organic spaceship
flying through the universe.
12
00:00:27,026 --> 00:00:28,342
And also, his thoughts on, like,
13
00:00:28,410 --> 00:00:30,077
if a girl won't [bleep]
upon your balls,
14
00:00:30,144 --> 00:00:31,311
you guys aren't meant
15
00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:32,658
- to be together.
- Smart.
16
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,326
It's funny, 'cause it's true.
17
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,849
Well, you heard how he said,
like, imagination is...
18
00:00:36,917 --> 00:00:39,081
the force behind our evolution.
19
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,916
And I think he's...
he's right.
20
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:44,091
When I was a kid, my imagination
was ridiculousness.
21
00:00:44,158 --> 00:00:46,088
Like I was always
coming up with stuff.
22
00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:47,461
Think of all the different paths
23
00:00:47,528 --> 00:00:48,795
you could have taken in your life.
24
00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:50,163
I could have tooken so many paths.
25
00:00:50,231 --> 00:00:51,363
I could have been a trombone player,
26
00:00:51,431 --> 00:00:52,970
like "Nah Orleans,"
just blowing my bone!
27
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,567
Or I could have been, like, a cop,
28
00:00:54,635 --> 00:00:55,931
but a dirty one, you know?
29
00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,704
- ... cop.
- Or like a porno star,
30
00:00:57,771 --> 00:01:00,406
Right? But not just
like a regular porno dude.
31
00:01:00,474 --> 00:01:02,842
Like a star, dude.
Like, "Oh, here comes Adam
32
00:01:02,910 --> 00:01:04,272
with his big hog
33
00:01:04,438 --> 00:01:05,816
- all greased up.
- Ha ha!
34
00:01:05,982 --> 00:01:07,734
That, I feel is a real calling
that I missed.
35
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,148
- I'd watch you bone.
- Thank you.
36
00:01:09,216 --> 00:01:11,084
- I definitely would.
- Thank you.
37
00:01:11,151 --> 00:01:12,585
But you know what, you don't
even have to sweat that, man,
38
00:01:12,652 --> 00:01:14,386
because, really,
when you think about it,
39
00:01:14,454 --> 00:01:16,618
life doesn't even really
get good until you're, like, 70.
40
00:01:16,784 --> 00:01:18,412
- You know?
- Yeah.
41
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:20,025
Like being an old dude is awesome,
42
00:01:20,093 --> 00:01:21,560
like not having to do anything
43
00:01:21,628 --> 00:01:23,429
but sit around, watch cartoons,
44
00:01:23,497 --> 00:01:25,961
and smoke the herb, bro?
That's gonna be tight.
45
00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:28,005
Isn't that what you do already?
46
00:01:28,171 --> 00:01:29,840
Yeah. Yeah.
47
00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:31,969
Yeah, but when you're 70,
your dick won't work.
48
00:01:32,037 --> 00:01:33,343
You can't star in pornos.
49
00:01:33,509 --> 00:01:34,972
Dude, they got medicine for that.
50
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,541
- Yeah. Dicks work forever now.
- Oh! Oh, oh, ooh!
51
00:01:36,609 --> 00:01:37,681
Big dipper!
52
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:40,245
This is my year!
2015, baby!
53
00:01:40,312 --> 00:01:41,810
2015! Whoo!
54
00:01:41,976 --> 00:01:43,381
- It's just that guy...
- Yeah, it's the guy
55
00:01:43,449 --> 00:01:44,349
across the street.
You don't even need
56
00:01:44,416 --> 00:01:45,856
the telescope for that.
57
00:01:46,022 --> 00:01:47,318
Whoo! Starting defense!
58
00:01:47,386 --> 00:01:49,484
Place at the table, baby!
Whoo!
59
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,496
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
60
00:02:02,567 --> 00:02:03,867
Whoa, d--
61
00:02:05,637 --> 00:02:07,070
Okay.
62
00:02:07,138 --> 00:02:08,438
- Uh...
- I didn't mean to do that.
63
00:02:08,506 --> 00:02:09,973
Hey, thanks for the smoothies.
64
00:02:10,041 --> 00:02:11,923
- Oh, honestly...
- Smooth move, operator.
65
00:02:12,089 --> 00:02:13,543
It's N-D-B because
I do generous stuff
66
00:02:13,610 --> 00:02:15,578
like buy smoothies
for my bros quite often.
67
00:02:15,646 --> 00:02:17,113
Yeah, No, you don't.
Actually,
68
00:02:17,181 --> 00:02:19,182
I think you've stolen
from us a couple times.
69
00:02:19,249 --> 00:02:20,265
Bunch of times.
70
00:02:20,431 --> 00:02:22,652
I would consider myself
a Robin Hood of the crew.
71
00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:24,587
I'll say that.
Plus...
72
00:02:24,655 --> 00:02:26,589
in order to be happy,
73
00:02:26,657 --> 00:02:28,692
you have to make others happy,
74
00:02:28,759 --> 00:02:30,067
and that's a Joe Rogan quote.
75
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:31,460
- Mm-hmm.
- That reminds me
76
00:02:31,528 --> 00:02:33,095
of one of my favorite Roganisms:
77
00:02:33,163 --> 00:02:35,398
And I know what it is,
and I'm gonna stop ya.
78
00:02:35,465 --> 00:02:39,034
It's, uh, "If a girl can
lift weights with her pussy,
79
00:02:39,102 --> 00:02:41,620
she's gotta be an unstoppable
freak." Am I right?
80
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:44,164
That's a good one, but no.
It's actually--
81
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:47,176
"If you get cancer from a cell phone,
82
00:02:47,244 --> 00:02:48,543
- you're a pussy!"
- Also good.
83
00:02:48,709 --> 00:02:51,630
But, no, I was... it's that
"Robin Hood can suck it."
84
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,632
Which I thought was pretty funny,
85
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:55,842
and you were talking about it and...
86
00:02:56,008 --> 00:02:57,086
- What's on your leg?
- Ha. Huh?
87
00:02:57,153 --> 00:02:58,386
Oh, my--
88
00:02:58,454 --> 00:02:59,596
Hi.
89
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,723
Hundreds, different colors and sizes.
90
00:03:01,889 --> 00:03:04,017
Hey, Alice, so...
91
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:06,686
we found this kid,
and he didn't have a leash,
92
00:03:06,852 --> 00:03:09,314
and we don't know the last
time he's been let out to poop,
93
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:11,133
so we don't know where he came from.
94
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:12,484
I mean, we have a guess
as to whose it is.
95
00:03:12,650 --> 00:03:15,070
I lost my virginity
when I was 17 years old,
96
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,656
and I'm not proud of that.
I should have been at least
97
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:19,207
14 or 15, but...
98
00:03:19,275 --> 00:03:20,975
I mean, I think the math works out
99
00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:23,078
that this could be my child.
100
00:03:23,312 --> 00:03:24,746
- He's mine.
- Oh.
101
00:03:24,813 --> 00:03:26,781
Leave this kid alone
for five goddamn seconds,
102
00:03:26,849 --> 00:03:28,291
he gets into all kinds of trouble.
103
00:03:28,518 --> 00:03:30,627
Yeah. God damn it.
104
00:03:30,793 --> 00:03:31,986
Uh, guys, this is Mr. Gainey.
105
00:03:32,054 --> 00:03:34,055
He's from Stock Surplus.
106
00:03:34,123 --> 00:03:35,256
He's here to buy up
all those old mirrors
107
00:03:35,323 --> 00:03:36,925
that you couldn't sell.
108
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,526
- Remember those?
- It's tough to sell mirrors
109
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:40,387
- over the phone.
- Well, this is his son Josh,
110
00:03:40,553 --> 00:03:42,664
who Jillian is supposed
to be watching.
111
00:03:42,731 --> 00:03:43,998
- Jillian!
- What's up?
112
00:03:44,066 --> 00:03:45,058
I'm just hanging out with Josh.
113
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:48,353
Hey, Josh!
Why'd you disappear, huh?
114
00:03:48,519 --> 00:03:51,064
Don't you want to play
with the worms?
115
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:53,608
Huh? Come on, the worms
are our friends.
116
00:03:53,774 --> 00:03:55,944
This is Carla, and that's
her ex-husband Roddy...
117
00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:58,738
I don't want to play
with her--she sucks!
118
00:03:58,904 --> 00:04:00,180
Hey! Hey! Watch your mouth!
119
00:04:00,247 --> 00:04:02,659
Okay? We don't use the S-word.
120
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,619
Jeff lets me say it at Mom's house.
121
00:04:04,785 --> 00:04:07,497
Jeff is an idiot tennis instructor.
122
00:04:07,663 --> 00:04:09,916
And does this look like
your mom's house?
123
00:04:10,082 --> 00:04:11,751
- I wanna play with them!
- Ow!
124
00:04:11,917 --> 00:04:13,461
- Oh, yeah.
- Do you mind?
125
00:04:13,627 --> 00:04:15,964
He's just gonna whine
and whine until he gets his way.
126
00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,465
Kinda like his mother in that way.
127
00:04:17,631 --> 00:04:19,699
Yeah, look, um, I just think
128
00:04:19,766 --> 00:04:20,969
it's probably a better idea
129
00:04:21,135 --> 00:04:23,346
- if he stays with Jillian.
- Yes.
130
00:04:23,512 --> 00:04:25,972
No. Alice, it's mine.
I get to keep it.
131
00:04:26,039 --> 00:04:27,684
What? Why?
Why can't we watch him?
132
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:29,909
- Because--
- Well, because we're... dumb.
133
00:04:29,977 --> 00:04:32,063
And we're irresponsible and
we're idiots and we're stupid.
134
00:04:32,229 --> 00:04:34,316
Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly
right, Adam--thanks.
135
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,148
Hang on a second.
Uh... I'm sorry.
136
00:04:36,216 --> 00:04:38,528
I think we can handle
one little dude.
137
00:04:38,694 --> 00:04:40,238
Right? I mean, uh...
138
00:04:40,404 --> 00:04:42,454
When I was a lifeguard, I...
139
00:04:42,522 --> 00:04:45,285
Well, unfortunately, that's
probably not the best example.
140
00:04:45,451 --> 00:04:46,453
- I wanna go with them.
- Yes.
141
00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,371
- I like them.
- Yeah!
142
00:04:48,537 --> 00:04:50,496
Would it be okay?
143
00:04:50,563 --> 00:04:52,500
Yeah, sure.
That's fine.
144
00:04:52,666 --> 00:04:56,213
- Perfect!
- Alice, take this one out.
145
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,422
He's quiet and little.
146
00:04:57,588 --> 00:04:59,257
I named him Waymond Wormano.
147
00:04:59,423 --> 00:05:00,884
You--no!
148
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:02,673
- I like kids.
- Yeah.
149
00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:06,806
What the-- my strawberry Surf Rider!
150
00:05:07,045 --> 00:05:08,312
Do not drink the floor smoothie!
151
00:05:08,380 --> 00:05:10,248
Don't--get up, get up,
get up, get up.
152
00:05:10,315 --> 00:05:11,782
You've been Bill Cosby'd.
You've been Bill Cosby'd.
153
00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:13,104
I Bill Cosby'd myself.
154
00:05:13,270 --> 00:05:15,565
But instead of, like,
a date rape drug,
155
00:05:15,731 --> 00:05:18,693
it's, like... I put
peyote in the smoothies.
156
00:05:18,859 --> 00:05:20,779
What? Why?
157
00:05:21,026 --> 00:05:23,027
I was trying to get on
like a spiritual level,
158
00:05:23,094 --> 00:05:25,095
like... like when we were
on the roof, you know,
159
00:05:25,163 --> 00:05:26,697
like talking about cool...
160
00:05:26,765 --> 00:05:28,495
like cool stuff about
imagination and stuff.
161
00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,622
Petote... at work?
162
00:05:30,869 --> 00:05:31,665
- Yeah!
- Yeah, well...
163
00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,403
as Joseph Rogan said,
164
00:05:33,471 --> 00:05:35,205
he took peyote before an MMA class
165
00:05:35,273 --> 00:05:37,003
and he said "it was
the bomb diggidy."
166
00:05:37,275 --> 00:05:39,464
Do not make up Joe Rogan
quotes--that is not okay!
167
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,258
- I'm paraphrasing, okay?
- No. No.
168
00:05:41,424 --> 00:05:42,812
Why did you Joe Rogan us?
169
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,147
Why couldn't you just Seth Rogen us?
170
00:05:44,215 --> 00:05:45,682
- Yeah! We could have just...
- Yeah.
171
00:05:45,749 --> 00:05:47,389
- smoked a bunch of weed...
- Hah hah hah hah!
172
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:48,598
Babysit the kid...
173
00:05:48,764 --> 00:05:50,220
We Seth Rogen ourselves all the time.
174
00:05:50,288 --> 00:05:51,685
This is different--
I was trying to Joe Rogan us.
175
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,756
Where's the kid?
176
00:05:53,824 --> 00:05:56,147
- Kid? Kid!
- Where's the kid?
177
00:05:56,383 --> 00:05:57,649
Who remembers his name?
178
00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:59,693
Uh--it's Jash
like the YouTube channel.
179
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,931
- Kid...
- Wait, um...
180
00:06:01,999 --> 00:06:03,466
- Mm-mm, mm-mm!
- You guys,
181
00:06:03,533 --> 00:06:05,868
I'm starting to feel weird.
182
00:06:05,936 --> 00:06:08,104
There he is!
183
00:06:08,171 --> 00:06:10,473
Oh... oh...
what's... happening?
184
00:06:10,540 --> 00:06:12,341
It's kicking in.
185
00:06:12,409 --> 00:06:14,176
Here it comes!
Peyote!
186
00:06:16,480 --> 00:06:18,447
What?
187
00:06:18,515 --> 00:06:20,316
Oh--God!
188
00:06:20,383 --> 00:06:22,684
- Oh...
- Just--we gotta go,
189
00:06:22,752 --> 00:06:24,050
we gotta go, we gotta go!
Go...
190
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,260
What's happening?
191
00:06:31,328 --> 00:06:33,061
Oh!
192
00:06:33,130 --> 00:06:34,311
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
193
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,564
Oh! I'm okay!
194
00:06:36,633 --> 00:06:38,299
Okay, are you all right?
195
00:06:38,367 --> 00:06:41,109
Oh! Oh, it's a black hole!
196
00:06:41,275 --> 00:06:42,470
- Oh...
- No!
197
00:06:42,538 --> 00:06:44,405
- Oh!
- No!
198
00:06:45,608 --> 00:06:47,876
Oh. Oh, God.
Come on!
199
00:06:47,944 --> 00:06:48,977
Wait, no, no, wait--
200
00:06:49,045 --> 00:06:50,112
Oh!
201
00:06:57,666 --> 00:06:59,386
It's pretty normal now!
202
00:06:59,454 --> 00:07:01,713
It's kind of fun!
203
00:07:01,879 --> 00:07:02,797
Oh...
204
00:07:02,963 --> 00:07:05,342
- Oh--
- There he is.
205
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,427
Hey! You can't just
run off like that, okay?
206
00:07:08,030 --> 00:07:10,305
You can get killed
running down that hallway.
207
00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:12,933
I'm just bored--I want us
to all color together!
208
00:07:13,001 --> 00:07:14,309
Uh...
209
00:07:14,475 --> 00:07:16,186
Hey, it's almost lunchtime.
210
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,437
We gotta get out of here now,
man, go somewhere quiet
211
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:19,689
where we can be alone.
212
00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,691
I know just the place
213
00:07:21,857 --> 00:07:23,342
where no one goes...
214
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,745
- the office gym.
- Good call.
215
00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:26,988
We'll put this
little dude on the elliptical,
216
00:07:27,154 --> 00:07:28,514
tucker him out,
and then we'll just wait
217
00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:29,783
for the peyote to wear off.
218
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:31,350
- Okay.
- Someone make a copy
219
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:33,912
of my coloring book
so we can all color together.
220
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:35,914
- Okay, we'll do that. First--
- Hey!
221
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,207
Listen to me!
222
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,565
I said I want us
223
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,426
to color together...
now!
224
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,536
- Yeah, whatever you want, man.
- If you want to color,
225
00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:52,738
- we'll color.
- Adam, go make some copies
226
00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,073
of the coloring book, and Blake,
227
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,226
go find some markers and pens, right?
228
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,103
And since I'm the llllest,
229
00:07:58,344 --> 00:08:01,146
I guess'l'll take
theiaia t to the gym.
230
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:02,232
Waaahhh!
231
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:04,083
Okay. Okay.
232
00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:14,411
{pub}We're here and, uh,
why don't you just...
233
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:16,051
play in that corner or something
234
00:08:16,119 --> 00:08:17,580
until Blake and Adam get back, okay?
235
00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:19,488
But I wanna play a game.
236
00:08:19,555 --> 00:08:21,376
I wanna play hide and go seek!
237
00:08:21,542 --> 00:08:23,425
Uh, that's too bad,
because games are for children,
238
00:08:23,493 --> 00:08:24,712
and I'm a grownup.
239
00:08:24,878 --> 00:08:26,728
Let's play zookeeper.
240
00:08:26,796 --> 00:08:29,592
I'm the zookeeper, and you're a bird.
241
00:08:29,758 --> 00:08:31,934
I'm not a bird.
I'm a man, okay?
242
00:08:32,002 --> 00:08:34,514
And just don't turn into
a giant again, please.
243
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,642
Then why do you have wings, ya bird?
244
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,641
I don't have--
245
00:08:39,709 --> 00:08:40,909
Oh, my God.
246
00:08:42,938 --> 00:08:45,567
What the hell?
247
00:08:45,733 --> 00:08:46,860
Aah!
248
00:08:47,026 --> 00:08:48,695
Buuuawwwk!
249
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,071
Ha ha ha ha ha!
250
00:08:50,237 --> 00:08:52,353
I'm a bird?
251
00:08:52,422 --> 00:08:54,088
I'm a bird?
I'm a...
252
00:08:54,156 --> 00:08:55,285
buuwwwaaak!
253
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:57,203
Fly, Mr. Bird, fly!
254
00:08:57,369 --> 00:08:59,789
Oh, my God!
255
00:08:59,955 --> 00:09:02,000
I'm flying!
Look at me, Mr. Zookeeper!
256
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,669
Excuse me.
257
00:09:08,737 --> 00:09:10,338
Hey, somebody missing their grandma?
258
00:09:10,406 --> 00:09:11,759
Hey, lady, that's my desk.
259
00:09:17,473 --> 00:09:19,013
Ah ha ha ha ha!
260
00:09:19,081 --> 00:09:20,810
I'm messing with you!
261
00:09:20,976 --> 00:09:22,604
It's a joke, you bitch!
262
00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,152
Whoa...
263
00:09:25,219 --> 00:09:26,232
you're old me.
264
00:09:26,398 --> 00:09:28,355
Yes! Hello!
265
00:09:28,423 --> 00:09:29,944
Sick, dude!
Do--wow.
266
00:09:30,110 --> 00:09:32,405
I'm--the hair looks...
sick.
267
00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:33,740
Oh, my God, thank you.
268
00:09:33,906 --> 00:09:35,783
It's like cobwebs.
It's awesome.
269
00:09:35,949 --> 00:09:37,564
- Yeah. Chicks dig it.
- That is very cool.
270
00:09:37,631 --> 00:09:39,333
Hey, what's the deal
with the chick thing?
271
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,033
Are we getting laid a lot or...
272
00:09:41,101 --> 00:09:42,415
do we have a wife?
273
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:44,170
Oh, hell, no!
Oh, no.
274
00:09:44,238 --> 00:09:46,272
Me and that ho-bag Jillian,
we got a divorce
275
00:09:46,340 --> 00:09:48,505
when I caught her chorging Bill
in the parking lot.
276
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:51,744
What? Wow--ugh--man.
I'm sorry about that.
277
00:09:51,811 --> 00:09:53,593
Best thing that ever happened to me!
278
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,763
Now I go to the potluck/orgy
every week.
279
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,985
Lotta chicks.
Some dudes, too.
280
00:09:59,264 --> 00:10:00,266
I don't care.
281
00:10:00,432 --> 00:10:02,087
We're so old, it doesn't matter.
282
00:10:02,154 --> 00:10:04,270
You know, play it where it lies.
283
00:10:04,436 --> 00:10:05,647
That's--
That's gross!
284
00:10:05,813 --> 00:10:07,398
It's not gross.
It's love.
285
00:10:07,564 --> 00:10:09,317
Why do you work here?
Why don't you just quit?
286
00:10:09,483 --> 00:10:11,096
Because it rules, dude.
What are you talking about?
287
00:10:11,163 --> 00:10:13,265
All I do all day
is watch cartoons and...
288
00:10:13,332 --> 00:10:15,532
well, smoke weed.
289
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:16,950
- Yeah!
- Actually,
290
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:18,636
I don't have to hide it.
291
00:10:18,704 --> 00:10:20,772
I smoke it right in daylight.
292
00:10:20,839 --> 00:10:22,872
W--you can...
do that?
293
00:10:23,038 --> 00:10:25,042
You kidding me?
I can smoke it.
294
00:10:25,110 --> 00:10:26,793
I grow it too.
295
00:10:31,755 --> 00:10:34,384
Yeah, [bleep] Carl.
I don't need him.
296
00:10:34,550 --> 00:10:35,510
Bbbbbbbuh-ah!
297
00:10:42,057 --> 00:10:43,935
W--you're-- you're... and I'm--
298
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:47,272
Sergeant Adam DeMamp, RCPD.
299
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,482
You're a dirty cop.
300
00:10:49,648 --> 00:10:51,167
Hey, uh, what do you say
we get outta here,
301
00:10:51,235 --> 00:10:53,437
go shake down some
small business owners...
302
00:10:53,504 --> 00:10:55,405
huh?
303
00:10:55,473 --> 00:10:57,532
You can use my gun...
304
00:10:57,698 --> 00:10:59,826
I would love to threaten someone.
305
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:02,446
I know that about you.
306
00:11:02,513 --> 00:11:04,205
But I ain't no pig.
307
00:11:04,371 --> 00:11:05,164
No.
308
00:11:10,154 --> 00:11:12,297
I hope somebody ordered sausage!
309
00:11:12,556 --> 00:11:13,789
- Ho. Ho ho.
- I know you, man.
310
00:11:13,857 --> 00:11:15,691
I know this path.
311
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,427
I'm so glad I didn't become you.
312
00:11:17,593 --> 00:11:19,695
Ha ha! Yeah, right...
313
00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:22,599
Oh, my God!
314
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,667
Your dick is huge.
If I would have
315
00:11:24,734 --> 00:11:26,477
delivered pizzas,
my dick would have been huge.
316
00:11:26,643 --> 00:11:28,470
Whassup?
My name's Adam,
317
00:11:28,537 --> 00:11:31,039
"The Human Jump Rope" DeMamp.
318
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:33,708
I'm an adult film star.
319
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:35,111
Peep this!
320
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,322
Oh!
321
00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,157
Oh! It's still coming!
322
00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:41,049
Oh, it's coming
through the cardboard...
323
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:43,352
Mine--
Mine's out on the first pull.
324
00:11:43,419 --> 00:11:45,854
I don't even need to pull,
I actually--I flick mine out.
325
00:11:49,666 --> 00:11:53,361
Whoo! Michael Keaton should be
eatin' a bat,
326
00:11:53,429 --> 00:11:55,229
'cause I'm the real Birdman!
327
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,933
You're a zoo bird!
328
00:11:59,001 --> 00:12:01,804
And it's time for you
to go back in your cage!
329
00:12:01,970 --> 00:12:04,849
What? No, but I feel so free up here!
330
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,508
I'm the zookeeper, and I said
331
00:12:06,575 --> 00:12:08,777
get back in your cage.
332
00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:10,544
But you said I could fly!
You said I could be free!
333
00:12:10,612 --> 00:12:11,898
Squawk, squawk!
334
00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,232
You belong to the zoo!
335
00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:14,415
Oh!
336
00:12:15,884 --> 00:12:16,986
Aah!
337
00:12:17,152 --> 00:12:18,571
Ha ha ha!
338
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:20,782
Freakin' bird brains!
339
00:12:26,861 --> 00:12:29,332
And there's a dude
right there, isn't there?
340
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:32,669
Yeah, Trombone Adam, you are good!
341
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,504
Do you know any Matchbox Twenty?
342
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:36,803
That's not my bag.
343
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:38,571
I dig jazz.
344
00:12:38,639 --> 00:12:40,385
You still play?
345
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,970
I don't, actually.
I stopped in the eighth grade.
346
00:12:43,136 --> 00:12:46,099
I was gettin' pretty serious at
masturbating at the time, so...
347
00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:47,600
Understandable.
348
00:12:47,766 --> 00:12:50,895
I guess I only had time
for... one bone in my life.
349
00:12:51,152 --> 00:12:53,731
How 'bout you play my bone, baby?
350
00:12:53,897 --> 00:12:55,316
Heh heh heh heh!
351
00:12:55,482 --> 00:12:56,609
Okay, yeah...
352
00:12:56,775 --> 00:12:58,861
I'll toot your bone.
353
00:12:59,092 --> 00:13:03,195
Come with me...
to New Orleans.
354
00:13:04,731 --> 00:13:07,078
Play with me and the boys.
355
00:13:07,244 --> 00:13:09,034
I tell ya what.
356
00:13:09,102 --> 00:13:12,250
You make some serious bread!
357
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:13,751
You guys make bread too?
358
00:13:13,917 --> 00:13:15,628
You a [bleep] idiot.
359
00:13:15,794 --> 00:13:17,609
- Pffttt-ffftt--pffftt--
- Hey!
360
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,717
Are you done?
361
00:13:21,014 --> 00:13:23,215
Yes. I am done, I...
362
00:13:23,283 --> 00:13:24,450
Oh, man.
363
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:30,226
Ooh, baby!
364
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:32,103
I can do whatever I want, man.
365
00:13:32,269 --> 00:13:34,313
I got dirt on everybody.
366
00:13:34,479 --> 00:13:36,995
Old, wrinkly, tight
butthole is what you are.
367
00:13:37,062 --> 00:13:39,663
Here. Take a rip.
368
00:13:39,731 --> 00:13:40,945
Wow, man.
369
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,322
I'm so proud of you.
370
00:13:43,602 --> 00:13:45,199
You got it all figured out, man!
371
00:13:45,471 --> 00:13:47,271
- I do.
- That's what I'm talking about!
372
00:13:47,339 --> 00:13:48,494
So like...
373
00:13:48,807 --> 00:13:51,289
Like... like what's the secret?
374
00:13:51,543 --> 00:13:55,078
Well, it all started when
Joe Rogan became President
375
00:13:55,146 --> 00:13:56,711
of the... aaaahhhhhhh!
376
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,949
Aah! Aah!
377
00:13:59,017 --> 00:14:00,548
What are you-- what are you doing?
378
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:02,967
That thing was about
to burn your face off.
379
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,287
Oh...
380
00:14:06,658 --> 00:14:09,557
And if you ever
let my wife chorg you,
381
00:14:09,723 --> 00:14:13,630
I'll have your head on a stick!
382
00:14:15,766 --> 00:14:17,231
Hey, what's chorg?
383
00:14:17,397 --> 00:14:18,232
Google it.
384
00:14:26,365 --> 00:14:28,434
{pub}Squawk, squawk, squawk!
Let me outta this cage!
385
00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:29,452
- Anders!
- Squawk!
386
00:14:29,618 --> 00:14:31,737
Anders, stop it!
387
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:33,456
Hi. I was...
388
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,273
a bird!
There was a zookeeper.
389
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:36,642
He shot me, and he
put me in this cage.
390
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,544
- Just shut up right now!
- Wait a minute!
391
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,797
Where--where--where's the kid?
Where's, uh, J-Jash?
392
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,214
The kid, he...
went to his office.
393
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:44,717
That door.
Which is a closet.
394
00:14:44,883 --> 00:14:46,784
Hey, how is it going?
395
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:48,429
Is everything okay with the kid?
396
00:14:48,595 --> 00:14:49,720
Yeah...
397
00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:50,989
- Yeah, it's great.
- Yes.
398
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,790
This kid is so full of energy.
399
00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:55,436
It's like, makes me feel young again.
400
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,662
Oh, kids.
Oh, man.
401
00:14:57,729 --> 00:15:00,031
They are so much fun
when they're that age.
402
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:02,399
- Yeah.
- When they're...
403
00:15:02,468 --> 00:15:03,694
- Four?
- No.
404
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:06,155
Yeah, he's eight.
So where the hell is he?
405
00:15:06,321 --> 00:15:08,439
Uh, he's...
406
00:15:08,507 --> 00:15:09,574
- He's hiding.
- Yeah.
407
00:15:09,641 --> 00:15:10,827
He's--shh.
408
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,477
We're playing hide and seek,
409
00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:14,479
and he's in that closet,
so everything's...
410
00:15:14,546 --> 00:15:16,714
That door goes out
to the parking lot,
411
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,918
you lunatics!
Go find him!
412
00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:20,651
- Is it time?
- Seek time!
413
00:15:20,719 --> 00:15:24,154
It's seek time!
414
00:15:24,222 --> 00:15:25,967
I got it, I got it.
415
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,135
Ha ha.
416
00:15:28,301 --> 00:15:30,721
- Ha ha ha ha!
- Just grab it, man.
417
00:15:33,131 --> 00:15:35,810
It's too fast, Alice.
418
00:15:35,976 --> 00:15:38,769
Alice, are we going to your office?
419
00:15:38,836 --> 00:15:40,804
Uh, yep, I'll be right there, Dave.
420
00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:43,276
I got it!
I got it!
421
00:15:43,442 --> 00:15:45,241
I got it, it's--
The door, see?
422
00:15:45,309 --> 00:15:48,197
I have it, then we're gonna
go walk outside of it.
423
00:15:48,363 --> 00:15:50,046
Get... him...
424
00:15:50,114 --> 00:15:52,410
nooooow!
425
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:53,911
Gosh!
426
00:15:54,077 --> 00:15:55,452
Okay!
427
00:15:57,664 --> 00:15:58,789
Whoa!
428
00:16:00,658 --> 00:16:02,025
There he is.
429
00:16:02,092 --> 00:16:03,992
Okay, uh, yeah.
430
00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:06,048
I guess we should try
to jump over to that island?
431
00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:08,175
No way, it's too far.
We're not gonna make it.
432
00:16:08,341 --> 00:16:09,594
Let's just go back, okay?
433
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:11,767
Good call, man.
Good call.
434
00:16:11,835 --> 00:16:13,869
Son of a b... ack
door's gone!
435
00:16:13,937 --> 00:16:15,141
The back door's gone!
436
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:17,560
- Yep.
- I wanna go back.
437
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:19,353
Guys, we can at least
try and make this jump, right?
438
00:16:19,519 --> 00:16:21,143
Yeah. Heck, yeah.
We got this, dude.
439
00:16:21,210 --> 00:16:23,245
Psych up.
Psych up, bro, we got this!
440
00:16:23,313 --> 00:16:24,859
On three, on three!
One...
441
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:26,347
two, three!
I'm going!
442
00:16:26,415 --> 00:16:28,654
I'm going! No--
Aah!
443
00:16:32,407 --> 00:16:34,243
Hey! Get off that!
444
00:16:34,409 --> 00:16:36,123
- Oh, shoot.
- Hey,
445
00:16:36,191 --> 00:16:38,247
we're tripping on peyote,
so what can you do, you know?
446
00:16:38,413 --> 00:16:39,832
Get the fuck out of my cement.
447
00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,963
- You got it, you got it.
- Yep. Okay.
448
00:16:42,030 --> 00:16:43,210
Hey, hey, hey, over there.
Come on.
449
00:16:43,376 --> 00:16:44,865
- Let's go, let's go!
- Go!
450
00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:46,213
- Careful.
- Hey!
451
00:16:48,170 --> 00:16:49,383
Ow!
452
00:16:49,604 --> 00:16:51,260
Josh!
453
00:16:51,426 --> 00:16:53,679
Come on! Jash, Jash!
454
00:16:53,976 --> 00:16:55,343
- Jash?
- All right, son,
455
00:16:55,410 --> 00:16:57,683
playtime's over.
Come on out, okay?
456
00:16:57,912 --> 00:16:58,980
Come on!
457
00:16:59,047 --> 00:16:59,852
- Jash?
- Come on!
458
00:17:00,018 --> 00:17:02,249
Hey, there he is!
459
00:17:05,954 --> 00:17:07,955
Okay, I'll go this way.
460
00:17:08,022 --> 00:17:09,890
- I'm gonna get this one.
- Yeah, I-I got him.
461
00:17:09,958 --> 00:17:12,657
Hey, Adam, over here.
462
00:17:12,823 --> 00:17:14,060
Got you, dude!
463
00:17:14,128 --> 00:17:16,160
- You stupid!
- Hah hah hah!
464
00:17:16,326 --> 00:17:18,264
Have you guys seen Jash?
He's like...
465
00:17:18,332 --> 00:17:20,133
this little kid I'm looking for.
466
00:17:20,201 --> 00:17:21,874
He's like 9 or 12.
467
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,137
Hey, how 'bout you quit
chasing around little kids,
468
00:17:24,205 --> 00:17:25,706
come with me.
469
00:17:25,773 --> 00:17:28,381
We'll eat some, uh...
Chicago deep dish pizza!
470
00:17:28,610 --> 00:17:30,276
- That sounds good.
- It's like God jizzed
471
00:17:30,344 --> 00:17:32,093
in your mouth.
472
00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:33,469
You wanna be God, dude?
473
00:17:33,981 --> 00:17:37,050
Freakin' bone a bunch
of chicks on camera
474
00:17:37,118 --> 00:17:40,253
and have a million dudes
beat off to you, bro!
475
00:17:40,321 --> 00:17:41,602
I don't think so!
476
00:17:41,855 --> 00:17:43,456
That does sound awesome.
The first part.
477
00:17:43,524 --> 00:17:45,291
The second part, I'm...
478
00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:47,233
The second part's cool.
479
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:48,761
You wanna be worshipped, Adam?
480
00:17:48,829 --> 00:17:52,196
Come play jazz festival
with me tonight.
481
00:17:52,362 --> 00:17:54,117
That sound--that sounds cool,
but I'm--I am busy.
482
00:17:54,185 --> 00:17:55,491
I love crawfish, though.
483
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:57,827
Josh!
Josh, where are you?
484
00:17:57,993 --> 00:17:59,955
- Oh!
- Hey, hey.
485
00:18:00,023 --> 00:18:01,163
It's all good.
Come here.
486
00:18:01,329 --> 00:18:03,025
Hey, what's up, old me?
487
00:18:03,093 --> 00:18:05,194
Have you seen that little
dude run by?
488
00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:07,003
Getting kinda worried about him.
489
00:18:07,169 --> 00:18:10,332
Hey, Ders'll handle it, man.
Quit being a bitch.
490
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,718
Don't you wanna know
what it's all about, huh?
491
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,095
- Josh, where are you?
- Squawk, squawk!
492
00:18:16,261 --> 00:18:17,638
Hey, come fly with me.
493
00:18:17,804 --> 00:18:19,724
No, no, I can't.
I gotta find Josh.
494
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,842
No, forget that.
Let's go fly, man.
495
00:18:21,911 --> 00:18:23,878
We'll go to the beach.
We'll crap on people's heads
496
00:18:23,946 --> 00:18:25,604
and steal chicks' bikinis!
Squawk!
497
00:18:25,770 --> 00:18:27,606
That actually sounds kind of awesome.
498
00:18:27,772 --> 00:18:29,233
It's very satisfying.
499
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,694
Come on, I wanna tell you
what it's all about, man.
500
00:18:31,860 --> 00:18:33,421
Hell, yeah.
Hell--
501
00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:34,755
No! No, no, no, no.
502
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:36,224
- No. No, stop!
- Come on!
503
00:18:36,292 --> 00:18:37,959
- Shut up!
- Don't be a bitch.
504
00:18:38,027 --> 00:18:40,395
- Smoke a doobie with me.
- That sounds awesome, okay?
505
00:18:40,462 --> 00:18:42,955
- But I can't!
- You little pussy!
506
00:18:43,121 --> 00:18:44,831
I already know what
the meaning of life is about.
507
00:18:44,899 --> 00:18:46,400
- The meaning of life is...
- Why don't you go...
508
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:47,877
wash your pussy, pussy?
509
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:50,137
Is finding that kid right now,
510
00:18:50,204 --> 00:18:52,572
'cause, yeah, I don't wanna
prove Alice right again, man.
511
00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,133
I'm not an irresponsible idiot, okay?
512
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:55,909
What? Responsible?
Okay!
513
00:18:55,977 --> 00:18:57,595
Suck my [bleep], all right?
514
00:18:57,761 --> 00:18:59,479
- Come here, bro!
- Come on, my brother.
515
00:18:59,547 --> 00:19:02,391
- Come on, dude.
- Don't make me!
516
00:19:02,557 --> 00:19:04,984
I may be an irresponsible idiot,
517
00:19:05,052 --> 00:19:06,553
and I'm definitely an idiot,
518
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:08,606
but I'm not about
to show that to Alice.
519
00:19:08,772 --> 00:19:10,566
I do--I disagree with that.
520
00:19:10,732 --> 00:19:12,525
Guys, I know what we have to do!
521
00:19:12,593 --> 00:19:14,487
We gotta break the mirrors.
522
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:17,490
Dude, do not break the mirror.
523
00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,450
Be prepared to be broken!
524
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:21,033
- No!
- No, stop it!
525
00:19:21,101 --> 00:19:23,537
Don't, bro!
I mean it, bro!
526
00:19:23,703 --> 00:19:25,164
Look what I found.
527
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,209
- Don't make me come back--
- No! But watch it, bro!
528
00:19:28,375 --> 00:19:29,881
- Squawk, squawk!
- Sorry, boys.
529
00:19:30,006 --> 00:19:30,628
Don't break me!
530
00:19:30,844 --> 00:19:32,044
You gotta fly solo on this one,
531
00:19:32,112 --> 00:19:33,712
- because...
- Don't break me!
532
00:19:33,780 --> 00:19:35,214
Do not break me!
533
00:19:35,282 --> 00:19:36,648
You have no power over me.
534
00:19:36,716 --> 00:19:37,683
Squawk, squawk, no--
535
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:39,512
Don't!
536
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:40,638
Hey, no!
537
00:19:41,188 --> 00:19:43,349
Oh, no, bro!
538
00:19:43,515 --> 00:19:44,600
Oh, no, baby.
539
00:19:47,727 --> 00:19:49,327
Aah!
540
00:19:49,395 --> 00:19:50,439
Aah!
541
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:52,108
Yes!
542
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:04,210
{pub}- Get ready to be impressed...
- Whoo!
543
00:20:04,277 --> 00:20:05,788
'Cause you are gonna love--
544
00:20:05,954 --> 00:20:07,665
Oh...
545
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,208
Hey, h--hola!
546
00:20:09,374 --> 00:20:10,668
What up?
547
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,218
Uh, what the hell happened
548
00:20:12,285 --> 00:20:14,119
to all these mirrors
549
00:20:14,187 --> 00:20:15,506
that I just sold to Mr. Gainey
550
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,216
for a huge sale?
551
00:20:17,382 --> 00:20:18,926
Oh, my God.
552
00:20:19,092 --> 00:20:20,553
Where's that little monster?
553
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:22,388
Did he cause this?
554
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:24,663
- Well, you know...
- Uh...
555
00:20:24,731 --> 00:20:26,350
We were playing hide and go seek,
556
00:20:26,566 --> 00:20:28,334
and Josh was running
around and, uh...
557
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:31,147
- We were all running around...
- Everybody was running
558
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:32,398
- at the same time, so...
- I didn't do this.
559
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,440
I'm not talking to you.
560
00:20:33,606 --> 00:20:35,941
Look at this! God!
561
00:20:36,009 --> 00:20:39,780
Alice... I'm really sorry
about these mirrors, okay?
562
00:20:40,212 --> 00:20:42,158
I'm gonna pay for all of them.
563
00:20:42,324 --> 00:20:43,409
Oh...
564
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:46,120
I'm sorry this had to happen.
565
00:20:46,286 --> 00:20:48,873
Yeah, well, not as sorry
as he's gonna be.
566
00:20:49,039 --> 00:20:50,958
This trip is dark, dude.
567
00:20:51,124 --> 00:20:52,251
Good for nothing!
568
00:20:56,463 --> 00:20:58,299
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com