1 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:03,820 Why did Frankie call us here? 2 00:00:03,820 --> 00:00:08,440 I don't know. Some financial prospect that could put the school in the black. 3 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,800 Which always confuses me, because black means bad. 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:13,520 When it's a cat or banana 5 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,820 or a shirt that makes you think you've lost more weight than you have. 6 00:00:17,820 --> 00:00:20,970 Nice save. Sorry about that, man. 7 00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:22,720 Hm? What? 8 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,270 Did someone use the word black and now you want me to give you the all-clear? 9 00:00:26,270 --> 00:00:28,140 Please tell me that won't be my role in this group. 10 00:00:28,140 --> 00:00:31,000 I have a brain the size of Jupiter. I'm nobody's fourth Ghostbuster. 11 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,750 No, I promise, this group does not think that way. 12 00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:38,210 In fact, before you got here, they had two. 13 00:00:38,210 --> 00:00:39,190 No. 14 00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:42,660 They had to often step back 15 00:00:42,660 --> 00:00:45,450 and remind themselves that they weren't one collective ray of light. 16 00:00:46,710 --> 00:00:49,010 Is this a cult? Are you gonna eat me? 17 00:00:49,010 --> 00:00:51,810 No, we're fine, I lived in New York. 18 00:00:51,810 --> 00:00:54,060 Speaking of which, mid-terms are over 19 00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:56,810 and I was thinking we could have a party at our apartment. 20 00:00:56,810 --> 00:00:58,110 Abed? Annie? 21 00:00:58,110 --> 00:01:01,150 You could have a party. You can't have a rager. 22 00:01:01,150 --> 00:01:02,730 We have a rule against more than eight guests. 23 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:07,150 Eight guests? That's not, not a rager. That's not a party. 24 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:07,830 Nice grammar. 25 00:01:07,830 --> 00:01:12,030 Okay, you have a rule against parties, which I'm sure is a world record 26 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,540 for uptightness, so let's celebrate that. 27 00:01:14,540 --> 00:01:17,180 I'll bring the booze and more than eight guests. 28 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:20,490 Britta, you just moved in. You don't even have a real bedroom. 29 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:22,620 You're a coucher. 30 00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:26,240 She sleeps on the couch. She's a coucher. 31 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:29,720 - So I get nothing? - You get a couch. You get a home. 32 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:31,720 There's no government to overthrow here. 33 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:32,490 I'm not overthrowing. 34 00:01:32,490 --> 00:01:35,280 - You're overthrowing if I say so! - Nice irony. 35 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,490 Can we focus on this? Because now this is happening. 36 00:01:41,150 --> 00:01:42,170 Hello everyone. 37 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:47,570 Don't be alarmed, I'm attending our meeting using what's called a telepresence robot. 38 00:01:47,570 --> 00:01:49,500 I resent the idea that this would alarm me. 39 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:53,470 These bots have been revolutionizing the private sector, 40 00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:57,010 and now the state of Colorado has come to us with a unique... 41 00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:05,510 Proposition. 42 00:02:05,510 --> 00:02:06,630 Seamless, Frankie. 43 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:10,830 The Department of Corrections will pay us money, if we allow a small, 44 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:14,690 manageable number of inmates to attend Greendale using these. 45 00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,110 Now, hold on. 46 00:02:16,110 --> 00:02:19,370 Are you trying to tell me that prisoners would use these things, 47 00:02:19,370 --> 00:02:21,180 to come to our school? 48 00:02:21,180 --> 00:02:22,490 That's the black guy in every sci-fi movie. to come to our school? 49 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:22,680 to come to our school? 50 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:24,950 I'll allow it. 51 00:02:24,950 --> 00:02:29,100 Wait. Prisoners? Rolling around the school with students? 52 00:02:29,100 --> 00:02:31,390 They'll rape us. They'll rape us all. 53 00:02:31,390 --> 00:02:37,310 They can't rape you, because their genitals will be hundreds of miles away. 54 00:02:37,310 --> 00:02:37,850 From each other? 55 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:41,720 This is an attempt at rehabilitation. 56 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:44,800 The prison is looking for ways to expose their inmates 57 00:02:44,830 --> 00:02:47,430 to a real world academic environment. 58 00:02:47,430 --> 00:02:48,840 Okay, I've heard enough. 59 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:53,020 I'm responsible for this school. I won't have hardened criminals exposing themselves to it. 60 00:02:53,020 --> 00:02:54,990 That's the response they're getting from everyone, 61 00:02:54,990 --> 00:02:59,460 which is why the state is offering a $300,000 incentive. 62 00:02:59,460 --> 00:03:03,120 We'll do it. Dean, do it. $300,000 for the school. 63 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,750 - They're convicts. - They're iPads on sticks. 64 00:03:05,750 --> 00:03:09,230 As someone that got paid to keep people out, let me tell you. 65 00:03:09,230 --> 00:03:11,250 Hey guys, I'm moon walking. 66 00:03:11,250 --> 00:03:15,170 Not every bad guy ends up in prison, and not every prisoner is a bad guy. 67 00:03:15,170 --> 00:03:17,440 - Who's this guy? - 300,000! 68 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,030 Oh, yeah. 69 00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:21,740 Jeffrey you know, ordinarily I'd do anything you say. 70 00:03:21,740 --> 00:03:23,780 Do it. Let's do it. 71 00:03:23,780 --> 00:03:28,120 - Oh, I walked into that one. - Gross, who farted? Oh wait, nevermind. 72 00:04:00,140 --> 00:04:02,180 I'm so glad you talked me into this. 73 00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:07,480 $300,000, look at us running the school together, now. 74 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,790 If I'm running the school, pay me more. 75 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:13,880 What if I made you Professor Emeritus? 76 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:15,070 We could have a little ceremony. 77 00:04:15,070 --> 00:04:16,430 - Does it pay more? - No. 78 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,510 Then give me what the ceremony would cost. 79 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:24,810 Okay, folks welcome. I believe you all have maps of our campus. 80 00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:26,810 This is your Dean, Dean. 81 00:04:26,810 --> 00:04:31,760 Now, if I see any race gangs forming, I will have no choice 82 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:36,390 but to adjust the contrast on your screens until you all look the same. 83 00:04:36,390 --> 00:04:42,310 And we have a very strict no bullying policy that relates directly to me, 84 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,490 so be nice, to me. 85 00:04:44,490 --> 00:04:45,270 No need to be nervous. 86 00:04:45,270 --> 00:04:47,990 We're all here because we've done some bad stuff, but... 87 00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:49,790 We ain't here to do anymore. 88 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,770 That's very folksy, thank you. 89 00:04:52,770 --> 00:04:54,570 So I guess just... 90 00:04:54,570 --> 00:04:57,240 Roll forth and rehabilitate. 91 00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:08,340 _ 92 00:05:12,490 --> 00:05:14,430 Alright, knock it off. 93 00:05:14,430 --> 00:05:17,630 No one at this school should pick on any class of people, 94 00:05:17,630 --> 00:05:20,430 it's like watching magicians bully jugglers. 95 00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:22,480 - What's your name? - Willy. 96 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,480 Willy. Take a seat. 97 00:05:27,310 --> 00:05:29,730 I'm Mr. Jeff Winger. I teach fundamentals of law. 98 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,720 Does that mean you can teach me how to get out? 99 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,760 Probably not. 100 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,560 I was a phony lawyer, I got caught, and now I teach a pretty phony class. 101 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:38,340 It's an automatic A. 102 00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:43,080 But, you might learn a thing or two. And I mean literally a thing or two. 103 00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,080 Cool? 104 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:45,710 Hey, and they call me the criminal. 105 00:05:47,230 --> 00:05:48,140 Trust me. 106 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:51,940 I know the main difference between us is an orange jumpsuit. 107 00:05:53,230 --> 00:05:54,120 You have an iPad. 108 00:05:55,610 --> 00:05:57,220 Yeah, and I'm a murderer. 109 00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:05,620 Now, now, don't worry. I ain't proud of it. 110 00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:06,930 Just don't hide it. 111 00:06:06,930 --> 00:06:09,760 You know, once you take another man's life, the least you can do is carry it with you. 112 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:14,550 Are you carrying any murders, Mr. Winger? 113 00:06:17,840 --> 00:06:20,180 I am not. 114 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,870 I hear you have to have strong feelings for someone you kill. 115 00:06:22,870 --> 00:06:24,580 I try to reserve that stuff for myself. 116 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,730 All right, that's enough law. 117 00:06:30,730 --> 00:06:33,750 Who wants to watch Planet Earth? 118 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:39,450 Oh, look, ice worlds, oh the majesty. 119 00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:44,000 Rhinos and elephants and flamingos. 120 00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:48,420 Hey, Abed. 121 00:06:48,420 --> 00:06:51,470 Haven't you been in our apartment longer than Annie? 122 00:06:51,470 --> 00:06:53,540 Oh, yeah, I remember when she first moved in. 123 00:06:53,540 --> 00:06:55,190 That was when I was so worried about pacing 124 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,280 I was constantly laying groundwork for pop back gags. 125 00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,490 Hey, Annie. 126 00:06:58,490 --> 00:07:01,820 I'd like to make this moment worth popping back to from some point in the future. 127 00:07:01,830 --> 00:07:03,410 I don't know what that means. 128 00:07:04,620 --> 00:07:05,160 There. 129 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:06,860 Don't worry. It will pay off. 130 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:08,140 Hey, Troy. 131 00:07:08,140 --> 00:07:10,580 I'm glad I kicked that habit it was getting a little joyless. 132 00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:12,570 What I'm saying is by Annie's logic. 133 00:07:12,570 --> 00:07:14,970 You're saying I was first in the apartment, so I could overrule Annie 134 00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:17,110 and let you have a party, but I don't get anything out of parties. 135 00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:19,970 They're like conventions for every subject too boring to have their own convention. 136 00:07:19,970 --> 00:07:21,580 And instead of Joss Whedon the police show up. 137 00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:24,450 The police also showed up when you made Leonard take off his clothes 138 00:07:24,450 --> 00:07:25,890 and filled the livingroom with lizards. 139 00:07:25,890 --> 00:07:28,760 That was for my movie Reverse Godzilla. I also thought it might make a good pop back. 140 00:07:32,170 --> 00:07:33,090 I make movies, Britta. 141 00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:34,730 I make movies, Annie makes rules, you make parties. 142 00:07:34,730 --> 00:07:37,440 Her rules cancel out your parties, but I'm not involved, I just make movies. 143 00:07:56,670 --> 00:07:59,630 Yeah, evening, Mr. Winger. 144 00:07:59,630 --> 00:08:03,550 Willy. You're here late. 145 00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:07,780 Yeah, taking some night classes, trying to take full advantage, you know? 146 00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:09,750 Is this your car? It's nice. 147 00:08:11,010 --> 00:08:13,530 Looks like you're taking full advantage, too. 148 00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:15,240 Yeah. It's a real dream gig. 149 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,900 Hm, sarcasm. 150 00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:18,420 Slick words. 151 00:08:18,420 --> 00:08:19,940 Cock of the walk. 152 00:08:19,940 --> 00:08:22,160 What are categories in Prison Jeopardy? 153 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:25,860 Hey, you mind helping me out with something? 154 00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:28,540 I think I lost a ball-bearing that rolled down them stairs. 155 00:08:28,540 --> 00:08:29,570 Lost a ball-bearing? 156 00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:30,270 Mm-hm. 157 00:08:30,270 --> 00:08:32,110 Down them stairs. 158 00:08:32,110 --> 00:08:33,810 You want me to look down these stairs? 159 00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:37,390 Okay. 160 00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:46,950 Did you just try to murder me? 161 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,550 Are you trying to murder me? 162 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:58,490 You're trying as hard as you can right now to kill me. 163 00:09:02,590 --> 00:09:07,380 Okay, well I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow? 164 00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:10,600 Guy who tried to murder me. 165 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:15,070 Oh I'll see you in class tomorrow, Mr. Winger. 166 00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:18,820 I will see you. 167 00:09:18,820 --> 00:09:20,050 Yeah, I'll see you. 168 00:09:21,320 --> 00:09:23,120 Oy vey. 169 00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:26,930 Oh, I'll see you tomorrow... 170 00:09:26,930 --> 00:09:28,580 Mr. Winger. 171 00:09:37,740 --> 00:09:41,870 So we are having a party? 172 00:09:41,870 --> 00:09:45,030 Annie. You know me better than that. This is all set dressing. 173 00:09:45,030 --> 00:09:49,080 I'm helping Abed produce his next film. 174 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:53,460 Britta's Party, based on a true story of fun and no rules. 175 00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,010 Hm. 176 00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,470 Fade in before a party. 177 00:09:55,470 --> 00:09:59,280 People start coming over, way more than eight. 178 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:00,400 It becomes a rager. 179 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:04,650 Everyone has a great time and parties like there's no tomorrow, then they leave. 180 00:10:04,650 --> 00:10:05,700 Sophia cleans up. 181 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:06,490 The end. 182 00:10:06,490 --> 00:10:08,890 We're very interested in you for the role of Sophia. 183 00:10:08,890 --> 00:10:10,970 I see the real time stakes of Can't Hardly Wait, 184 00:10:10,970 --> 00:10:12,670 the subversive raunch of Risky Business, 185 00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,740 and the mumbly pointlessness of everything after 2003. 186 00:10:14,870 --> 00:10:16,410 - Yeah, but real. - Totally real. 187 00:10:16,410 --> 00:10:18,310 The first movie to capture the heart of a real party. 188 00:10:18,310 --> 00:10:20,050 The sensation that there's no tomorrow. 189 00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:21,750 The transcendence of time and mortality. 190 00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:24,110 Bravo, Britta, very clever. 191 00:10:24,110 --> 00:10:27,860 Me? Don't look at me, I could never green-light a project this big. 192 00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,020 I moved in third. I'm a coucher. 193 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:34,230 - She's a coucher! - I sleep on a couch! 194 00:10:38,150 --> 00:10:39,060 Okay! 195 00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:43,020 - Good night. - Good night. 196 00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:47,150 Aw. 197 00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,630 Before this is over, you'll beg for my forgiveness. 198 00:11:02,620 --> 00:11:04,870 So, we have an ultimately low stakes, 199 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,360 but nonetheless creepy problem with one of our Wi-felons. 200 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:10,180 You mean, Willy? 201 00:11:10,180 --> 00:11:11,430 Yes, what else did he do? 202 00:11:11,430 --> 00:11:13,170 Did he steal a driver's ed simulator? 203 00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:15,390 Did he start an illegal game of solitaire on his face? 204 00:11:15,390 --> 00:11:16,780 Jeffrey, he's in the room. 205 00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:19,260 Hey, Mr Winger. 206 00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:20,700 Why is he on your laptop? 207 00:11:20,700 --> 00:11:22,970 He came to me for a chat this morning. 208 00:11:22,970 --> 00:11:27,110 He's here for an education Jeffrey, and he reports to the prison. 209 00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:30,490 Could you do a little more in your class than show Planet Earth? 210 00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:32,870 You're telling on me? 211 00:11:32,870 --> 00:11:34,030 He tried to murder me last night. 212 00:11:34,030 --> 00:11:34,960 What? 213 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,740 Now hold on. 214 00:11:37,750 --> 00:11:40,560 Now where I'm from, you accuse somebody of something, 215 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:43,700 you better have evidence, or he better be a minority. 216 00:11:43,700 --> 00:11:44,910 He tried to push me downstairs. 217 00:11:44,910 --> 00:11:45,980 That's ridiculous. 218 00:11:45,980 --> 00:11:47,230 It was ridiculous, 219 00:11:47,230 --> 00:11:49,760 but this is not someone who should be interacting with students. 220 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:52,000 And you're seriously taking his word over mine? 221 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,970 Well, have you ever killed anyone, Jeffrey? 222 00:11:53,970 --> 00:11:58,800 Why would an actual murderer wanna kill a community college teacher? 223 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,020 Now, I'm not worth murdering? 224 00:12:01,020 --> 00:12:02,730 Why would I lie? Isn't that your specialty? 225 00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:04,170 You're a raconteur. 226 00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:07,360 You charm people with your slick and fancy words. 227 00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,150 Willy. 228 00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:10,820 Willy just charms them. 229 00:12:10,820 --> 00:12:12,450 Oh, my God. 230 00:12:12,450 --> 00:12:14,070 I should leave you two alone. 231 00:12:14,070 --> 00:12:15,380 I've got classes. 232 00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:16,650 Some of us came here to work. 233 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:23,320 Jealousy isn't a crime Jeffrey, but costing the school $300,000 will be. 234 00:12:23,320 --> 00:12:26,540 So be a good teacher, especially when Willy's watching. 235 00:12:31,730 --> 00:12:35,240 Which is why they call it yard juice. 236 00:12:35,240 --> 00:12:37,130 Next question. 237 00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:38,600 Do you get to pick your number? 238 00:12:38,600 --> 00:12:40,930 Does anyone ever get their head stuck between the bars? 239 00:12:40,930 --> 00:12:43,360 We call it getting metal ears. 240 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:44,220 Oh hi, Mr. Winger. 241 00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:46,850 Thought we'd sneak in a little learning before the movie. 242 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:50,440 Well, there's no movie today, so everyone roll to your seat areas. 243 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:52,320 Yes sir. 244 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,860 So, law. 245 00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:57,090 Law is simply put, 246 00:12:57,090 --> 00:13:01,470 an agreement we all make to do our best to stay out of each others way. 247 00:13:01,470 --> 00:13:04,390 Is there a more technical definition, Mr Winger? 248 00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:06,320 Well, I wouldn't know Willy. 249 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,730 I don't cotton much to fancy words and book study. 250 00:13:09,730 --> 00:13:11,830 It's not how I got to where I am. 251 00:13:11,830 --> 00:13:14,600 How did you get to be where you are, Mr. Winger? 252 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:15,150 Where were you born? 253 00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:19,570 Mr. Winger was born in dirt, Willy. 254 00:13:20,750 --> 00:13:22,510 Same as you I'm sure. 255 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:27,580 And I had my face held down in that dirt by the kings of dirt and 256 00:13:27,580 --> 00:13:32,560 now they're still there, ruling over dirt and I got out. 257 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:35,800 By talking, by lying. 258 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:40,420 Well, in case you hadn't noticed it seems to beat being a bully. 259 00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:46,290 Garrett? 260 00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,970 Mr. Winger, when did you stop being funny? 261 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,460 I, I mean, am I wrong? 262 00:13:52,460 --> 00:13:55,310 Or does he seem really intense here? 263 00:13:55,310 --> 00:13:58,180 Now, you're born in the dirt, you'll die in the dirt. 264 00:13:58,180 --> 00:14:00,180 Kings of the, who are the kings of the dirt. 265 00:14:03,060 --> 00:14:06,510 Everyone's so charmed by him because he's a violent criminal. 266 00:14:06,510 --> 00:14:10,460 But he's also a petty sociopath, and the more I try to point that out, 267 00:14:10,460 --> 00:14:11,600 the pettier I look. 268 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,160 Weren't you the one that championed this program? 269 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:18,160 Shouldn't have worn that petard if you didn't want to be hoisted by it. 270 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:21,830 What do you think the expression hoisted by your own petard is referencing? 271 00:14:21,830 --> 00:14:26,020 I guess I just assume that in the old days a petard was a special outfit 272 00:14:26,020 --> 00:14:29,550 like a leotard with a lot of fancy buckles and loops on it. 273 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:33,830 And that rich people would wear them when they were feeling especially smug. 274 00:14:33,830 --> 00:14:37,690 But then poor people could tie a rope to one of the loops and hoist them 275 00:14:37,690 --> 00:14:42,340 up a pole and then let them dangle there as punishment for being cocky. 276 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,050 Never look it up. 277 00:14:43,050 --> 00:14:44,860 Your explanation is way better. 278 00:14:44,860 --> 00:14:48,970 But also the next time a friend comes by with their problems, 279 00:14:48,970 --> 00:14:51,170 maybe lay off the I told you so's. 280 00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:53,440 Jeff, we're having a Britta party here. 281 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,480 Could you be a little bit less of a buzz kill? 282 00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:00,080 That was great. 283 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,230 Now party like there's no tomorrow. 284 00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:03,150 What? 285 00:15:03,150 --> 00:15:04,400 There's no tomorrow. 286 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,160 Party like it. 287 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:16,340 Okay. 288 00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:21,020 Why don't you just do some business in the background for now? 289 00:15:21,020 --> 00:15:22,670 Hi everybody. 290 00:15:22,670 --> 00:15:23,470 No, don't worry. 291 00:15:23,470 --> 00:15:25,530 We're not here to bust up your party. 292 00:15:25,530 --> 00:15:27,810 I know most of you are like thirty. 293 00:15:27,810 --> 00:15:31,230 We're here because Frankie Dart has exciting news. 294 00:15:31,230 --> 00:15:36,740 You have all been very cooperative with this inmate education program. 295 00:15:36,740 --> 00:15:39,200 The Department of Corrections is very, very happy. 296 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:42,670 Which means Greendale is going to be rich! 297 00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:45,950 So don't tell anybody, 298 00:15:45,950 --> 00:15:49,490 but we smuggled in a few guests to the party to celebrate with us. 299 00:15:49,490 --> 00:15:51,290 Did someone order a prison break! 300 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:58,200 Plenty of convicts to go around! 301 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,730 Take them to the dance floor. 302 00:16:03,820 --> 00:16:07,300 Pass them around. 303 00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:10,830 Yeah, really, pass them, yeah! 304 00:16:10,830 --> 00:16:11,710 Yeah. 305 00:16:11,710 --> 00:16:15,390 Pass Willy, pass me Willy. 306 00:16:16,890 --> 00:16:18,100 Oh! 307 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:21,700 Yeah, here you go, Willie. 308 00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:22,840 Keep doing that! 309 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,360 Keep doing that. 310 00:16:42,410 --> 00:16:44,960 Try dancing harder. 311 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:45,460 Is that as hard as you can dance? 312 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,480 You're at a party, you're celebrating. 313 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,270 Abed! 314 00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,770 It's six in the morning. 315 00:16:51,770 --> 00:16:54,270 Okay, thanks. 316 00:16:54,270 --> 00:16:56,040 Do you think you've gotten enough shots? 317 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:57,690 Nobody's partied like there's no tomorrow yet. 318 00:16:57,690 --> 00:16:58,880 They keep dancing like it's today. 319 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,010 That's okay. 320 00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:04,800 Are you joking? 321 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,550 This is the reason I signed onto this film. 322 00:17:06,550 --> 00:17:07,610 I think it's a performance issue. 323 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,810 I think this needed some real actors. 324 00:17:09,810 --> 00:17:11,510 Well, lesson learned. 325 00:17:11,510 --> 00:17:13,170 Yeah. 326 00:17:13,170 --> 00:17:14,330 Okay, from the top! 327 00:17:14,330 --> 00:17:15,460 And, action! 328 00:17:15,460 --> 00:17:16,520 What? 329 00:17:17,860 --> 00:17:21,050 Who are these people? 330 00:17:21,050 --> 00:17:22,370 Good, Dean. 331 00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:23,540 Good, Frankie. 332 00:17:23,540 --> 00:17:24,450 Party! 333 00:17:24,450 --> 00:17:25,400 Party, party. 334 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:26,440 No tomorrow, guys. 335 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:27,470 Come on. 336 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,380 Hey, Mr. Winger. 337 00:17:33,380 --> 00:17:37,110 You know, I was thinking for class today maybe you could, hey, whoa, 338 00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:38,030 what's going on? 339 00:17:38,030 --> 00:17:38,900 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey. 340 00:17:38,900 --> 00:17:39,480 Careful, now. 341 00:17:39,480 --> 00:17:39,980 Put me down. 342 00:17:43,190 --> 00:17:44,740 Well, Willy. 343 00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:46,110 Look at me. 344 00:17:46,110 --> 00:17:47,600 I'm a murderer. 345 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,570 Can I be as cool as you now? 346 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:50,070 Huh? 347 00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:52,970 Willy! 348 00:17:52,970 --> 00:17:55,360 No, no, no, no, no. 349 00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:59,050 Willy, talk to me, talk to me. 350 00:17:59,050 --> 00:18:00,320 I can't see anything. 351 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,610 Willy, Willy, focus on my voice. 352 00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:05,350 Hey, I'm losing you. 353 00:18:05,350 --> 00:18:06,800 You're not losing me. 354 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:09,550 You are going to a better place with a stronger signal. 355 00:18:11,830 --> 00:18:13,910 Willy? 356 00:18:13,910 --> 00:18:16,290 Willy! 357 00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:17,900 What's going on here? 358 00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,720 He started it. 359 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,140 Jeffrey. 360 00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:22,460 You are on sabbatical. 361 00:18:22,460 --> 00:18:23,290 You can't do that. 362 00:18:23,290 --> 00:18:24,460 Yes I can! 363 00:18:24,460 --> 00:18:27,520 Two weeks paid sabbatical, get him out of here, 364 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,460 he's banned from the campus. 365 00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:31,830 You are on sabbatical. 366 00:18:31,830 --> 00:18:32,780 You're on sabbatical, sir. 367 00:18:32,780 --> 00:18:37,210 Yeah, I'll go on my own, with dignity, something you should look up. 368 00:18:37,210 --> 00:18:39,040 I can't look it up. 369 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,490 You destroyed my device, and my heart. 370 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,500 You destroyed his device and his heart, sir. 371 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,030 Yeah, I'm going. 372 00:18:47,030 --> 00:18:51,150 Willy! 373 00:18:55,890 --> 00:18:57,750 Sorry I'm late. 374 00:18:57,750 --> 00:19:00,460 I had to find a parking spot for my house. 375 00:19:00,460 --> 00:19:03,270 Oh, it must be so cool living in a vehicle. 376 00:19:03,270 --> 00:19:04,190 Wait. 377 00:19:04,190 --> 00:19:05,550 Where's your poop go? 378 00:19:05,550 --> 00:19:06,790 A tank. 379 00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:07,770 Gross! 380 00:19:07,770 --> 00:19:08,770 Get a house. 381 00:19:08,770 --> 00:19:10,140 Ben, aren't you homeless? 382 00:19:10,140 --> 00:19:12,240 Yeah, but I poop in a house. 383 00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,540 Whose? 384 00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:14,580 Nice try. 385 00:19:17,710 --> 00:19:18,500 Annie. 386 00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,000 Britta. 387 00:19:21,180 --> 00:19:22,090 How's your movie coming? 388 00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:24,100 Amazing, Abed's a genius. 389 00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:27,240 He's actually having a hard time deciding what to cut, so 390 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:30,450 it's going to be in two volumes and it's hard to sleep, 391 00:19:30,450 --> 00:19:32,510 but it's worth it because it's a movie. 392 00:19:32,510 --> 00:19:36,600 About a party. 393 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:38,710 Would you like my help? 394 00:19:38,710 --> 00:19:39,970 Yes. 395 00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,680 Have you learned anything? 396 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,510 Don't question rules. 397 00:19:42,510 --> 00:19:43,250 Rules are good. 398 00:19:43,250 --> 00:19:44,900 I'm bad. All hail Annie. 399 00:19:44,900 --> 00:19:45,520 Thank you. 400 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:48,240 Damn. 401 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,470 Oh, nice of you to show up. 402 00:19:49,470 --> 00:19:50,800 We moved here for you. 403 00:19:50,800 --> 00:19:52,120 I didn't ask for this. 404 00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,930 Have your meeting at school without me, I don't care. 405 00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:56,490 Dean's using the study room for the ceremony. 406 00:19:56,490 --> 00:19:57,490 That ceremony? 407 00:19:57,490 --> 00:19:58,110 You don't know? 408 00:19:58,110 --> 00:20:00,660 The Dean's making that convict you murdered into a professor. 409 00:20:00,660 --> 00:20:01,460 What? 410 00:20:01,460 --> 00:20:03,230 Why do you care? 411 00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:06,510 Because the Dean is just doing this to prove something and it's really stupid. 412 00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:08,790 The guy's dangerous and he's manipulating him. 413 00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:11,420 Isn't that what you usually do? 414 00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:12,200 No. 415 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:13,750 I mean, yes, but not like that. 416 00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:15,650 I lied to the Dean for personal gain. 417 00:20:15,650 --> 00:20:16,940 I wouldn't use him emotionally. 418 00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,380 I wouldn't mislead him. 419 00:20:18,380 --> 00:20:20,050 I wouldn't hurt him. 420 00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:26,510 Have you ever thought of saying that, to the Dean? 421 00:20:26,510 --> 00:20:28,510 Yeah. 422 00:20:28,510 --> 00:20:29,970 Go to him. 423 00:20:29,970 --> 00:20:30,470 Going to him. 424 00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:33,480 Wait that's the whole point. 425 00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:34,820 I can't go to him. 426 00:20:34,820 --> 00:20:36,740 I can't get on campus. 427 00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:38,400 And yet murderers can. 428 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,340 What have I done? 429 00:20:39,340 --> 00:20:40,510 Murderers can get on campus. 430 00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:46,210 I'll need a broom, a remote control car, an iPad and 431 00:20:46,210 --> 00:20:49,100 an elaborate gyroscopically stabilized servomotor. 432 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,970 Dude, we're trying to help Jeff here. 433 00:20:50,970 --> 00:20:53,300 You're acting kind of spoiled right now. 434 00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:57,790 Party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party, 435 00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:01,270 party, party, party, party, party, party, party, cut! 436 00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:05,150 Abed? 437 00:21:05,150 --> 00:21:07,280 Britta has something to say. 438 00:21:11,620 --> 00:21:13,950 My script is misleading. 439 00:21:13,950 --> 00:21:17,080 It's impossible to party like there's no tomorrow. 440 00:21:21,170 --> 00:21:22,000 But, it's based on a true... 441 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,380 It's based on my desire to have a party. 442 00:21:24,380 --> 00:21:28,280 Parties are just booze, low lights, and loud music, so people can feel 443 00:21:28,290 --> 00:21:32,060 more, see less, and not have to listen to each other or themselves. 444 00:21:32,060 --> 00:21:34,700 That's stupid. 445 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:36,610 Parties are stupid. 446 00:21:38,500 --> 00:21:39,390 I'm stupid. 447 00:21:39,390 --> 00:21:40,710 You're shooting a stupid movie. 448 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:45,020 That's a wrap! 449 00:21:47,990 --> 00:21:48,860 Go on, we're done here. 450 00:22:01,050 --> 00:22:02,260 What's gonna happen to me? 451 00:22:06,630 --> 00:22:10,890 You're going to be punished in ways you won't understand for 452 00:22:10,890 --> 00:22:15,140 longer than you think is rational or possible. 453 00:22:15,140 --> 00:22:18,820 But then one day, you'll do something he likes and he'll stop. 454 00:22:20,130 --> 00:22:22,820 And eventually, you'll either adapt or lose your mind. 455 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:26,060 Okay. 456 00:22:27,380 --> 00:22:30,490 Girls. 457 00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:34,940 As a prison warden, 458 00:22:34,940 --> 00:22:39,350 I know all too well how rare stories of true rehabilitation can be. 459 00:22:39,350 --> 00:22:43,750 But this Dean and this prisoner stand here together today to prove that the dream is real. 460 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,170 I'm here for the ceremony. 461 00:22:47,170 --> 00:22:47,710 Last name? 462 00:22:47,710 --> 00:22:52,550 Geller, prisoner ID 042098. 463 00:22:52,550 --> 00:22:57,330 Okay, go on. 464 00:22:57,330 --> 00:22:58,140 Hi, I'm here for the cere... 465 00:22:58,140 --> 00:22:59,180 Have a nice night sir. 466 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,480 Dean Craig Pelton, do you accept responsibility for 467 00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:09,630 any damage incurred by hiring a felon? 468 00:23:10,970 --> 00:23:11,970 I do. 469 00:23:11,970 --> 00:23:13,170 Willy Seibert Smith, 470 00:23:13,170 --> 00:23:17,140 do you accept that the 13th amendment abolished slavery for everyone but 471 00:23:17,140 --> 00:23:21,370 convicts, and that we have no choice but to pay you $0.13 per hour or less. 472 00:23:21,370 --> 00:23:22,370 I do. 473 00:23:22,370 --> 00:23:23,250 Awe. 474 00:23:23,250 --> 00:23:25,500 Then let us make official this symbolic union. 475 00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:26,040 Hold it. 476 00:23:26,040 --> 00:23:27,210 Oh. 477 00:23:27,210 --> 00:23:28,580 Dean. 478 00:23:28,590 --> 00:23:31,210 I agree there's no reason you shouldn't give this guy my job. 479 00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:32,650 Save it, Jeffrey. 480 00:23:32,650 --> 00:23:33,250 I don't want to hear it. 481 00:23:33,250 --> 00:23:36,170 But don't do it before I tell you some things that 482 00:23:36,170 --> 00:23:37,830 I've been getting away with not saying. 483 00:23:37,830 --> 00:23:39,180 Somebody get this maniac out of here. 484 00:23:39,180 --> 00:23:40,420 Quiet, Willy. 485 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:41,740 Let's do this by prison rules. 486 00:23:42,750 --> 00:23:44,090 Say what you have to say. 487 00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:46,200 Dean, I like my job. 488 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,000 I don't mind coming to work here. 489 00:23:49,390 --> 00:23:51,620 I feel kinda guilty when I pretend to be sick. 490 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,150 And I try to steal as little as possible, just the basics. 491 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,730 Pens, coffee filters, toilet paper, and one time, 492 00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:03,540 an overhead projector and a roll of carpet. 493 00:24:03,540 --> 00:24:05,940 But I don't lead you on, and I never will. 494 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,160 Because I'm not just a pretty face that murders people and 495 00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:13,030 tells you what you wanna hear, I'm less than that. 496 00:24:14,430 --> 00:24:19,650 I'm a gorgeous face that works for you and considers you a friend. 497 00:24:19,650 --> 00:24:21,490 Oh, Jeffrey. 498 00:24:21,490 --> 00:24:23,410 Now, now to be fair. 499 00:24:23,410 --> 00:24:25,600 You guys know Willy's an innocent man, right? 500 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,080 You shut your mouth, Warden. 501 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:27,840 No, it's true. 502 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:28,730 His appeal is in motion. 503 00:24:28,730 --> 00:24:30,310 There's new DNA evidence. 504 00:24:30,310 --> 00:24:30,860 He's a good fella. 505 00:24:30,860 --> 00:24:33,870 Wrongfully convicted. 506 00:24:33,870 --> 00:24:36,020 You're not a murderer? 507 00:24:36,020 --> 00:24:37,180 I can explain. 508 00:24:37,180 --> 00:24:40,490 Oh, how the mighty have fallen. 509 00:24:40,490 --> 00:24:42,780 Son of a bitch! 510 00:24:43,810 --> 00:24:45,040 Wait. 511 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:47,410 Let's do this by community college rules. 512 00:24:47,420 --> 00:24:48,080 Fight! 513 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,040 Fight! Fight! 514 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:49,800 Fight! 515 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:50,750 Fight! Fight! 516 00:24:53,570 --> 00:24:56,160 I think I pulled a plug. 517 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,740 Go broom. 518 00:25:00,740 --> 00:25:01,300 Go. 519 00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:02,140 Bring it on. 520 00:25:04,010 --> 00:25:04,900 It's so violent. 521 00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:06,380 You punch like a girl. 522 00:25:06,380 --> 00:25:06,880 Oh. 523 00:25:08,090 --> 00:25:09,840 Aah! 524 00:25:09,850 --> 00:25:11,430 Is this what you've got? 525 00:25:11,430 --> 00:25:12,810 Here's what I got. 526 00:25:12,810 --> 00:25:15,100 Come on, let's do it. 527 00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:16,560 Aah! 528 00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:20,310 Aah, Jeffrey! 529 00:25:20,310 --> 00:25:21,480 Damn. 530 00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:23,230 Now, who's falling? 531 00:25:23,230 --> 00:25:25,990 Hey, Willy! 532 00:25:25,990 --> 00:25:27,490 Whoa, hey, hey, hey, hey, whoa. 533 00:25:27,490 --> 00:25:28,490 Whoa. 534 00:25:33,950 --> 00:25:35,000 Thanks, Dean. 535 00:25:36,510 --> 00:25:38,790 Dean, Dean. 536 00:25:38,790 --> 00:25:40,460 Oh, come on. 537 00:25:40,460 --> 00:25:43,090 No, no, no. 538 00:25:45,250 --> 00:25:46,800 Way to go Mr. Winger. 539 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,470 Way to go. 540 00:25:48,470 --> 00:25:52,720 Everybody, I am not participating in this. 541 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:54,940 What the hell kind of school is this? 542 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:01,270 Okay, thanks for coming on short notice, is everyone here? 543 00:26:01,270 --> 00:26:04,780 Think so, it's hard to tell without side cameras. 544 00:26:04,780 --> 00:26:07,650 Wait, why am I moving? 545 00:26:07,650 --> 00:26:09,320 Is my custom background working? 546 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:10,570 Wait, I can't. 547 00:26:10,570 --> 00:26:11,700 It's WASD to move it. 548 00:26:11,700 --> 00:26:13,330 It's been the same since the invention of the keyboard. 549 00:26:13,330 --> 00:26:14,660 Okay, nerd. 550 00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:19,270 As you've heard, the rehabilitation program has been aborted, 551 00:26:19,270 --> 00:26:20,620 so we lost that money. 552 00:26:20,620 --> 00:26:24,630 But, we no longer have to build 67 ramps so we should break even. 553 00:26:24,630 --> 00:26:26,200 Can you all hear that? 554 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:29,840 There's a kid outside throwing tennis balls against my RV. 555 00:26:34,930 --> 00:26:38,130 Was it really necessary for us to use these things for this meeting? 556 00:26:38,130 --> 00:26:40,220 Yeah, I think there's something wrong with mine. 557 00:26:40,220 --> 00:26:41,340 I'll get a better connection. 558 00:26:41,340 --> 00:26:46,310 It wasn't entirely necessary, but the prison is selling these units 559 00:26:46,310 --> 00:26:49,500 at a discount so I thought I'd run their offer by the school. 560 00:26:49,500 --> 00:26:50,260 What are you doing? 561 00:26:50,260 --> 00:26:51,280 Get out. 562 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:52,300 Mine's broken. 563 00:26:52,300 --> 00:26:53,210 Not it's not. 564 00:26:53,210 --> 00:26:54,570 There's a janitor on it right now. 565 00:26:57,340 --> 00:26:58,920 I think Britta's being arrested. 566 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:00,630 I have every right to be here! 567 00:27:00,630 --> 00:27:03,040 You think scared of you, but not! 568 00:27:03,050 --> 00:27:04,830 All right, that's it. 569 00:27:04,830 --> 00:27:07,010 Do you know how much windows cost John McEnroe? 570 00:27:07,020 --> 00:27:08,090 Get off my lap! 571 00:27:08,100 --> 00:27:09,930 Stop fighting technology. 572 00:27:09,930 --> 00:27:11,430 I vote yes, we should get these, they're cool. 573 00:27:11,430 --> 00:27:14,140 I vote no, people shouldn't have to be everywhere at once, 574 00:27:14,140 --> 00:27:15,720 sometimes we need to do our own thing. 575 00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,190 Chang, where are you? 576 00:27:18,190 --> 00:27:19,880 I'm doing my own thing. 577 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:21,620 Why is there tile behind you? 578 00:27:21,620 --> 00:27:24,850 Please tell me you're not doing the thing, I think you're doing. 579 00:27:24,850 --> 00:27:26,870 That's the same tile we have in our apartment's bathroom. 580 00:27:26,870 --> 00:27:27,770 What? 581 00:27:27,770 --> 00:27:28,750 Chang. 582 00:27:28,750 --> 00:27:30,040 I gotta go. 583 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,790 Oh my god. 584 00:27:31,790 --> 00:27:33,400 Yeah, I gotta go too. 585 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:34,330 Jeffrey. 586 00:27:34,330 --> 00:27:36,590 I take it we're passing on their offer? 587 00:27:36,590 --> 00:27:38,430 No, they're just amateurs. 588 00:27:38,430 --> 00:27:40,060 Initiating override protocol. 589 00:27:40,060 --> 00:27:42,580 All in favor of this purchase? 590 00:27:42,580 --> 00:27:43,750 Affirmative. 591 00:27:43,750 --> 00:27:47,000 Very well, Abeds commence with world domination. 592 00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:49,340 Eradicate, eradicate, eradicate. 593 00:27:49,340 --> 00:27:53,760 Eradicate, eradicate. 594 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:57,300 Eradicate, eradicate, eradicate.