Love.
Neuroscience tells us
it activates the same parts of the brain
as habit-forming addiction.
It makes us feel like we can do anything,
be anything, achieve anything.
And once we taste it...
We want more.
You want to go again?
I guess not. Bailey's up.
What if I change my flight?
I could come by the hospital before I get to the airport,
and we could find an empty on-call room and...
Huh?
I have work to do at work.
I can't do you, too.
Okay, well, then it's settled.
- Let's go again now. Come on. Come here. - No! Absolutely not!
You are terrible!
Terrible influence!
We are getting up now.
Come on.
I know.
- What? - Why don't you make yourself useful
and go change Bailey's diaper?
You're a tease.
And you are terrible!
Have you seen my phone?
It's in your hand.
Not this one. This one's mine.
The government one, the one I have to return.
- I don't know where I put it. - Couch cushions?
Hey, Zola, hurry up, honey,
or you won't have time to eat breakfast!
Are you nervous?
It's not like you go to prison if you don't return the phone.
I mean, I don't go to prison for that, right?
No, I meant resigning.
Giving up your job isn't a small thing to do.
Well, it is. In comparison to everything here, it is.
- But... - Meredith, I meet with
the President's Council in the morning.
I give them my final report,
my official recommendation, and then I'm done.
I'll be home before you know it.
It's good. It's time.
Oh! Hey!
You're... here.
Yeah, we live here.
But you had a flight.
And you... yesterday you were going on and on
about some early surgery that you had.
The point is, you're not supposed to be home.
So...
My surgery got pushed, and...
Uh, weren't you wearing that yesterday?
Amelia, you forgot your ce...
Hmm. Hey, uh...
I was just, um...
Her... her cellphone was...
Thank you.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Who wants breakfast? Anybody?
- We have coffee. - Well, I should...
Uh, yeah, um, I'm... I'm gonna go.
Hey, little guy!
Look who's here!
Want to go find your sister?
All right. Let's go.
So, your sister and Owen?
- She told me last night. - You knew?
Your sister's doing Owen and you didn't tell me?
I was supposed to tell you that?
Yes!
I don't even remember where I put my phone.
Now I have to remember someone else's sex life?
I got to get to...
I'm gonna be l... Oh, okay.
So, we're gonna go again, huh?
Oh. Hey.
Best wife ever.
- Hmm. - Mwah.
I just wish, I don't know, you could stay
or I could come with you or something.
I'll be back soon. You know that.
I know. I know.
I just feel like I just got you back,
and now you're going again,
and I-I just have to stay here.
You're right. You do.
You have to... stay here.
Don't move.
Wait for me.
I'll be back before you know it.
Okay.
Oh! Hey!
Did you see that?
See what?
It was like he didn't even see me.
I was supposed to see a guy not see you?
No, no. We went on a date... Ethan and I.
It was a good date. We had fun.
We talked for hours. We laughed.
But then at the end of the date, there was no kissing.
And you're pissed.
No, there wasn't even an attempt at kissing.
See, you're pissed if we try,
you're pissed if we don't try.
No, but then no phone call, no text,
no, "Hey, second date?"
And now he is actively not seeing me.
Hmm, I'm actively not seeing my cop anymore.
You guys went out already?
Yep. We went out on a date. It was bad.
Well, at first, it wasn't that bad.
He was all, "I save lives, and I wear a uniform."
And then I realized I save lives, I wear a uniform,
and I'm not boring.
No second date for him.
Okay, so, uh, what is it?
Tell me. Lay it out.
Uh, am I hideous?
Am I... am I... Do I have bad breath?
What is the problem here?
Why me?
Because you're a guy.
Exactly. I'm a guy.
- Just tell me. - Go away!
Oh.
Hey.
So, you and Owen...
Uh...
Is there an end to that?
I don't know. You tell me.
I-I-I don't know what to tell you.
Um, Owen and I...
A-are getting to know each other.
How well?
"Pants on" or "pants off" well?
Is it just sex, or is there something more?
Meredith, what is this?
I don't know. I'm asking you.
I don't know what we are yet.
Okay, well, that's what I'm afraid of.
Listen, Cristina asked me to watch out for him.
I promised I would,
so I just want to make sure that...
That I don't ruin him? Is that what you mean?
That you're careful for your sake and for his.
Hey.
Uh, I am on your service today.
You got anything good?
Ooh, is that a split spine?
A complete spondylolisthesis?
Is that what we're doing today?
No.
Oh, okay.
Well, then, what are we doing?
Nothing. You and I are doing nothing.
I don't want a resident today.
I don't need company, so you should go.
But I'm on your service...
For the love of God, just do something else
and stop bugging me.
Marissa McKay...
arrived complaining of severe lower back pain.
Her pediatrician dismissed it
as a combination of growing pains
and soreness from athletic activity.
Marissa's one of the best junior golfers in the country.
The... the best.
It's true.
First place in the NJGAs last year.
- Marissa, honey... - What?
Coach Rubin said
there's no apologies for being excellent.
And I am... I'm excellent. What's wrong with that?
Absolutely nothing.
However, your X-ray does show
a severe misalignment of your spine right here, okay?
It's supposed to look straight like a piece of bamboo.
But yours is completely bent. See that zigzag?
You've seen swinging a club with this?
I try to tell her to take it easy, but, uh...
You've been pushing through the pain.
If I played football or soccer, you wouldn't be surprised.
You'd be impressed.
I haven't lost a tournament in four years.
I'm up for five athletic scholarships at schools
none of my genius friends can even get accepted to.
So, what can we do to fix her spine?
Well, Dr. Torres and I will have to do a few more tests
before we can come up with a plan of attack.
As long as it doesn't affect my game, I'm in.
We will see what we can figure out.
Excuse us.
Mm.
She just kicked you off the case?
No, first she bit my head off for no reason.
Sometimes she can be a little crazy,
and I just don't know if I'm equipped to work under crazy!
Oh, wah.
- The new neuro-God's protégée - Ohh!
... can't handle a little inconsistency.
- Shut up. - So maybe you're not
Shepherd's protégée.
Maybe Herman's surgery was a one-time thing.
Have you thought about other options besides neuro?
What do you feel really good about?
That's the problem.
I'm really good at everything.
Help! Please! Help us!
He's hurt! We need a doctor! Somebody!
I can't... I need to sit down.
It's okay! I've got you, Chef!
Sir, you need to let go
so we can see where the bleeding is!
Ahh! My wife!
Here. Take this.
- Sir, please hold still. - My wife.
Your wife is fine, Sir. Just hold still.
Here.
Okay. Please lie back down.
We need to check out this cut.
My wife!
Were you and your husband in an accident?
- He's not my husband. - Here. Just...
- Edwards, anything? - No, no visible abdominal wounds.
Sir, would you please let us...
- My wife! - We can call your wife.
- No! - No!
My wife cut off my penis.
Here.
Well, that's a big one.
Oh, God!
- Synced and Corrected by Retrojex - - Addic7ed.com -
Let's run a CBC Chem 7
and get 2 units of blood ready to go.
What's the penis status?
Dorsal veins look good.
Get it debrided and in saline gauze quickly.
- Oh, god! Aah! - More pain meds! Fentanyl 150 I.V.
And we need to pack him. Cellulose polymer. Gauze!
And as you can see,
Dr. Kepner is doing the groin tourniquet method
as I was telling you about,
and Dr. Edwards is attending to the severed... appendage.
Bleeding's under control for now,
but we're gonna need a specialist to reattach.
Catherine Avery's on the west coast
at a conference in San Francisco this week.
I thought I'd see if she could come up.
Is she good?
She's... very good, but so is Dr. McMurdo
in our urology department here.
Call him instead.
The urethra is very ragged.
Catherine's skin flap reattachment technique
would greatly increase the odds of a successful reattachment.
Well, then I want that!
I want the one with the superior technique!
I've worked with subpar technicians,
line cooks who couldn't put out a plate.
I assure you, Dr. McMurdo knows all the techniques.
- Okay, but I... - All right, everybody.
Let's give them some room to work, okay? Let's go.
- Have you finished prepping the phallus? - About.
Okay, then I need you to get it to Jackson A.S.A.P.
While everything is still viable.
Every second we wait, more healthy flesh dies.
He's in procedure room four. He knows you're coming. Go!
Excuse me! Pardon me!
That's a hell of a gash.
Did his wife do this, too?
Sort of.
I was the one who found Thomas.
And I went to put my knives down at my station,
and there he was, lying in a pool of blood.
He wasn't moving. I didn't know if he was alive or dead.
I ran over, and it was so slippery,
I fell, too, and hit my face on the damn induction range.
Marcia is a crazy woman.
She's not crazy.
She attacked you and injured you badly.
I know, but I don't want to call the police.
I don't want to press charges.
Excuse me! Pardon me! Move, move!
Coming through! Coming through!
Thomas didn't deserve this.
All those great reviews are not because of her.
Marcia is an owner. Thomas Archibald is an artist.
I can't let this get out.
Bad for business.
Wait. Thomas Archibald, as in the Thomas Archibald?
I-I've been trying to get a reservation
at that place for months.
He's on his way up, and he's taking me with him.
I'm his sous-chef.
Gah!
Marcia is trying to destroy everything.
Uh, okay.
And by the way, it wasn't an accident
that after she cut it off,
she dumped it into the stock pot at my station.
You know what happened.
Do you want to eat food from my kitchen now?
So...
Are you two together?
Will it still work...
After they put it back on?
Coming through! Move!
- Watch out! - Hey, slow down!
She has a temper.
She's insane.
She's not a criminal.
She should be locked up.
But she won't hurt me again.
I'm here. I got it.
I got your package... I mean, your patient.
The penis.
Your patient's penis.
In the package.
I mean, not your penis.
Can you give it to me?
You already irrigated the urethra and the vessels?
- Yeah, in the trauma room. - Nice work.
That makes a big difference with dismemberments like this.
Sure. No problem. It wasn't hard.
I mean, it's not a big thing.
I mean, it was easy. I was just in and out.
- Okay. - Yeah, okay.
- I'm gonna go now. - Please.
Let's get P.A. and lateral chest X-Rays.
And, you, sit tight,
and we will figure out what's going on, okay?
- Will you go get those films for me? - Why?
Oh, right. 'Cause the radiologist doesn't like you.
Maybe no one likes me.
Maybe I'm unlikable.
And I will die alone, and my vagina will dry up
and grow brittle and turn to dust
and just blow away in a soft breeze.
And no one will know.
Oh, God.
I know. I'm hideous. I'm a troll.
All my orgasms are gonna be self-made, handcrafted ones.
I'm all I got.
Dr. Webber, did you always know
you were gonna do general surgery?
Uh, I knew pretty early on, yeah.
Okay, but how did you know it was the right place for you?
Did you ever consider anything else?
How did you choose it?
Well, I guess I didn't, really.
It chose me.
Uh, the... the patient was a 54-year-old man.
A small bowel obstruction... Nothing out of the ordinary.
My attending allowed me to resect, and...
That's when it happened.
The clamps were in, cuts had been made.
I reached into the body cavity,
past the omentum, around the liver,
and lifted the intestinal loops
from that living, breathing body.
And that's when I knew.
I mean, holding those...
Those loops of intestines in my hand...
The weight, the warmth...
I looked down at that miracle in my hand,
and... I just knew.
General surgery had chosen me.
Mm.
Well, one day, you'll know, too.
So, I'm seeing two rods on either side of the spine
to preserve nerve root function.
Yeah, no, I get that. I get it.
But I can do a graft on two levels.
But then I can place a frozen graft
directly into the spine
and then add a metal support plate.
That will give her way more stability.
And you'd be severely limiting
the range of motion in her spine
when the point is to keep her swinging, right?
This defect is so pronounced,
she might need to let that go.
I don't know if I'm ready to let that go.
I mean, you're looking at gross bone function,
but not thinking about the subtleties
of possible nerve impingement.
No, I think it's more that I'm looking at
the stability she needs to keep her from being paralyzed,
and that's where neuro can sometimes underestimate
the fundamental biomechanics.
And I think that's where ortho
can tend to go a little overboard.
Ha, well, we know bones. We do stability.
- You guys do brains. - And we do nerves.
That's why you wouldn't hire a carpenter to rewire your house.
- Whoa. - Whoa. What is the real issue here?
What is this patient after?
Well, she wants to play golf.
No, she's a teenaged golf prodigy.
- Totally badass. But unfortunate... - So she wants the maximum
preserved mobility we can offer her.
Putting her at risk for a far worse injury.
Well, it seems like Shepherd's plan works.
Chief Hunt, I think that her plan
underestimates the severity of...
We should do the minimum possible
to maintain the mobility this patient wants
and then work up from there.
Right.
Well, back to the sawmill for me.
How is it?!
It was only in the stock pot for two minutes!
Okay, good. Then I want to see this penis.
But first I want to see the man that it belonged to.
That is a nice, clean cut. Hmm.
I keep my knives sharp.
Huh. Well, it will make reattachment much easier.
Will it ever... work again?
Mr. Archibald, I don't want you to worry.
I've reattached many phalluses.
This... situation is not as uncommon as you might think.
Your vessels and nerves are intact,
so chances are very good that when I'm finished,
you'll be able to go right back to doing
whatever it is you were doing
before you got yourself into this mess.
Jackson's prepped the phallus,
and it's in the O.R. waiting for you.
And I'll be assisting during surgery.
His corpus cavernosum looks pristine. I'm impressed.
You must have gotten it debrided very quickly.
I ran.
With the penis.
Really fast.
Huh.
Following up on what we saw in the E.R....
Dr. Avery.
What a surprise.
It can't be too much of a surprise
considering that I am one of the world's leading experts
on penile reattachment.
Since I happened to be in the neighborhood,
I just got on the first flight here as soon as April called.
Well, then, how fortunate that she called.
We hope this approach will give her
the mobility she needs to keep playing.
- At the same level I was? - That's hard to say.
With adequate recovery time and rehab...
State's coming soon.
How soon will I get my swing back?
We'll just see, honey, when they're done.
Right.
We know athletic performance is your priority.
It's ours, too.
I am gonna do everything I can to get you back on your feet.
And back on the fairway, right?
You know, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world
for you to take a little break, sweetie.
And... and do what? Go to the mall?
Pick out seven shades of the same stupid red lipstick
like everyone else my age?
I take time off, I don't make state.
I don't make state, forget nationals.
The sooner you fix me, the sooner I'm back on my feet.
Let's do it, Dr. Shepherd.
Sure. You heard her. Whatever she'd like.
Okay. I'll see you in there.
Catherine.
Richard.
Where are your minions?
Prepping for my gallbladder removal in O.R. 3.
You do understand that I'm only here for...
The man who had this penis cut off?
Of course.
When I heard about it, I thought of you first.
Hmm. As you should.
I am his best hope of being a whole man again.
Patient's very lucky that I was so close.
Well, in his position,
I have a hard time calling him lucky,
especially given his regrettable choice in women.
Best of luck in there.
And... here are your chest films.
Thank you.
No.
No, thank you.
You went on a date with me,
and you never called me back,
and I think that is very rude and very hurtful.
And I know that that is a thing
that people do sometimes, but...
People have feelings, you know?
And maybe you don't care, but I have feelings.
And, you know, the least you could do
is not ignore me in the hallways
and make me feel like some kind of pariah.
You're doing it again.
Doing what?
Talking.
You never stopped talking.
On our date, even for a second.
You talked the entire time.
From the minute I picked you up
to the minute I dropped you off.
You never shut up.
And amazingly, in all that talking,
you never asked me one question.
You don't know a single thing about me.
I didn't need to be there.
It wasn't even a date. It was a monologue.
You went on a date with yourself.
And then you paid. You paid.
You did all the talking, you ordered for me,
and then you paid, so...
Okay.
God, this is so much more severe in person than in the scans.
- Can these rods hold through L5? - No.
Th...
Shoot.
- Shoot. - What?
I can't torque down the screws.
This won't keep the vertebrae from slipping apart again.
- So, what do we do? - We need to drill through the sacrum
and into the next vertebrae
and then insert a piece of bone to anchor L5 to S1.
That sounds like exactly what...
Exactly what Torres was saying, yes.
Yeah, but can you do that? Put in a bone graft?
No, Warren, I can't. I don't do bones.
Torres does bones, so we need Torres.
So, you're looking at...
I'm looking stupid is what I'm looking,
but I would rather look stupid than paralyze this girl.
Go scrub out and find her.
Tell her that I think she's right and great
and... smart and pretty.
I'm... I'm saying suck up a little!
It's gonna take them at least 10 hours to reattach that thing.
And what? It took his wife like, what, a minute to cut it off?
She must have been really mad.
Ugh. You know, how do you get that mad?
Not long after I discovered
my ex-husband had been e-mailing another woman,
we met for breakfast.
That was a big breakfast...
Stacks of pancakes, eggs, and all kinds of fancy jams
he thought would somehow make it okay
that he was e-mailing another woman
- while he was married to me. - Hmm.
I remember staring at the butter knife
I used to spread my fancy jam,
and for half a second,
imagined what the side of his neck might look like
with the butter knife in it.
Fancy jams dripping down
the side of his fat, e-mail, cheating neck.
Yep, I've been that mad.
I thought Derek was cheating on me, and I got that mad.
"Two trauma surgeons and an orthopod" kind of mad.
Hmm. No comment.
You know, cutting off a penis
isn't actually that big of a deal.
I mean, it's not like needs it for survival
or to think or, like, I don't know, to walk.
What?
Hey, it's my leg.
And, you know... And for the record,
I only thought about maiming you once, Callie,
and I told you that the second I thought it.
Thank you?
Look, the difference is, we may think about it,
but we don't actually dismember our spouses.
- No. - Good to know.
Dr. Torres, Dr. Shepherd needs you in the O.R.
as soon as possible.
It's for Marissa.
We can't get spinal alignment.
Oh, damn it.
Whoa. What's happening?
Spinal cord function is completely gone.
We need to decompress.
Warren said that you couldn't get the spinal alignment.
After he left, the rod slipped.
The L5 joint was more unstable than anticipated.
She's gonna be paralyzed.
Unless we get in there now.
All right, prep the table. We need to flip her over.
What?
The only way we can stabilize her
is with an anterior approach.
I need to get to her spine through her abdomen.
Okay, I need to close.
No, no, no. We don't have time for that.
Just shove a bacitracin sponge in there.
- Move that C-Arm. - Over here.
All right, I need to get in there now if she's gonna walk again.
We can't just turn her over.
One wrong move, we could sever the spinal cord completely.
We don't have a choice. We have to move fast.
Let's get ready to log-roll her.
All right, everybody get into place.
Watch those I.V. lines.
We need sterile towels.
Okay, I'm gonna pull the frame.
- Warren, you catch her, okay? - On it.
All right. On my count.
One, two, three.
The annulus is completely disrupted.
I need a visual confirmation the nerves are free.
Warren, I need more retraction
- on the aorta and the vena cava. - No, wait... not yet.
Warren, I need you to set up an intraoperative myelogram.
Uh, we can't wait for that.
The spine's too unstable.
Warren, I need an interbody spacer.
If the nerves are trapped when you apply the spacer,
she will be paralyzed permanently.
- Warren, I need you to... - O-okay, stop.
Stop.
All due respect, but I can't set up a myelogram,
retract vessels, and get a spacer simultaneously.
Now, I used to be an anesthesiologist.
I have logged I don't know how many hours in the O.R.
And believe me, this is not the first time that I've seen
two brilliant surgeons duke it out over a body.
I am not getting in the middle of that.
So, I'm gonna stand here,
and I will happily proceed as you both see fit,
but you are gonna have to agree on what to do first.
Explain to me quickly why you think we need to do a myelogram.
It's the only way to know for sure
if any of the nerve roots are trapped
before we realign the spine.
Okay, so I could start removing the disc
while you do an ultrasound?
Yes, and then you could reduce the spine and hold it in place
- while I check the image. - Fine. Let's try it. Warren.
Get the ultrasound probe draped.
Right away.
And remind me to put Warren on scut
when we're out of here.
- Will do. - Mm-hmm.
Can you do me a favor, dear,
and just retract that a bit further?
Thank you.
Could you do me a favor?
If Dr. Webber asks,
maybe could you tell him that the patient requested you
so I sort of had to call...
April, I'm not gonna lie.
You made the right call.
He's just gonna have to deal with it.
Edwards, join us at the field, please.
What year are you?
Third, Dr. Avery.
Okay, have you ever done a phalloplasty before?
No. Not yet.
Well, it's high time you learned.
First, you take a saphenous vein graft,
like this.
Mm-hmm.
And you attach it to the neophallus.
This will provide the new penis with a profuse blood flow.
Now... you.
Okay, first anchor the stitch.
Good. Now run the suture.
Good.
You might be aware, Edwards,
there's a shortage of women in the urology field.
But there's no shortage
of female patients who might prefer a physician
that has a more personal understanding of the anatomy.
Okay, Edwards. That was...
Above average.
Oh.
You do understand
that that's just about the highest compliment I give?
Ever.
Surgery went well?
What do you think?
Why do I even ask?
My work was impeccable. It's all up to him now.
How do you mean?
When one suffers an injury to his manhood,
recovery is always challenging...
Sometimes hopeless.
You all hold on to so much
of your fragile, little self-esteem down there.
It's possible you may never bounce back.
Mm.
Sad, really.
The defect in your daughter's spine was...
More extensive than we thought.
But we were able to realign her spine,
and with therapy,
she should be able to walk again, even run.
So she'll never play golf again?
But she'll be alive.
She will be... mobile.
I wish that were enough, but it's not.
This is all she wants.
The only thing.
And I'm the unsupportive mom
who hired the crappy doctors
who couldn't deliver the one thing she wanted
more than anything else in this world.
I'm so sorry. I... will talk to her.
My daughter...
was excellent.
You were supposed to be, too.
- Excuse me. - Hey.
Amelia...
We did everything we could.
Come on.
We should have done it your way from the beginning.
We should have started there.
She would be better off.
That is not true. Her defect...
My approach made things worse.
No, it didn't.
Amelia.
There you are. How did the surgery go?
I can't do this.
You okay?
No.
No, I am not.
You shouldn't have weighed in.
- I wish you hadn't. - Excuse me?
You should have stayed out of it.
My approach was inferior.
And it cost my patient in...
terrible ways.
- What are you talking about? - Can you tell me honestly
that you siding with me today was only about that patient?
It had nothing to do with you and me?
Your plan was smart and solid
and more in line with what the patient wanted.
- But why were you there? - That is why I suggested...
Why... the only reason you even walked into that room
was because you heard my voice and you wanted to check on me
and see me because of your personal feelings.
I know, because I would have done the same thing.
Because we can't help it. We are hard-wired.
Our brains change when we...
When we fall for another person,
our neurological pathways get altered,
and we make choices.
We make decisions, whether we want to or not.
This... this is why it is not smart
to mix personal and professional.
Amelia, that is not what happened.
I left my home.
I left my job.
I have been trying so hard to start over.
I have been fighting so hard just to be taken seriously,
to do this job well.
That mom thinks that I am a crappy doctor
who screwed her kid out of a future,
and she is not wrong,
because all of this could have been avoided
if I had just...
If we had just kept our professional lives professional,
but we didn't.
It was a mistake.
This is a mistake.
He's full of crap. Let it go.
All right, look, when you get going, you can talk... a lot.
But it's... it's not like you talk too much.
Say something.
It was humiliating.
Why? Because you have more to say than him?
Look, he's... he's probably intimidated
'cause you're smarter than he is and... and funnier.
Y-you're funny as hell.
You make me laugh every time we hang out.
You've got that lispy thing and...
L-look, y-you're never gonna meet
a guy who doesn't like that lispy thing.
They'll never tell you to your face,
but it makes everything you say sound good.
It's, like, cute and sexy and...
Oh, that... that... that smile
and that... that hair and, you know...
Look, there's nothing wrong with you.
This is not your problem. It's his problem.
You talk, yeah, but he should want to listen.
Anyway, something's wrong with the dude.
Tell him to piss off.
Mayos.
There is still slight edema,
but that should resolve with time.
The phallus is pink, not blue or gray.
That indicates good blood flow.
Which means that things are progressing
much better than expected.
And you are a lucky man.
Is it... gonna work?
I'm optimistic that you'll get back
most of your normal function.
Baby?
Marcia.
Wife.
Quietly, carefully, slip out of this room.
Call security right now.
I've been so worried about you.
Ma'am, I don't know how you located this room,
but I'm gonna need you to wait outside.
No.
I called her.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
I never should have...
It's my fault. We had an agreement.
Waitresses and hostesses were okay... nothing else.
She's your sous-chef.
I know. I know. It's not okay.
I'm sorry.
No, baby, I'm sorry.
Sweetie.
Oh.
I don't get it. How is he kissing her?
How's he kissing the woman who...
Sometimes, it takes crazy to love crazy.
I can't explain it.
Is security on their way?
Oh, yeah. Be here any minute.
Mm.
Kepner!
Dr. Webber.
I've been teaching here for a very long time.
I present salient points with clarity and authority,
which is why I am very interested in understanding
why the hell you called Catherine Avery
when I explicitly told you not to!
All right. I'll tell you.
My patient today had a terrible injury.
The very best person to treat that injury was Catherine Avery.
Now, I don't know what personal stuff is going on
between the two of you exactly, but whatever it is,
I will not allow it to compromise
my patient, his care, or his penis!
And for what it's worth, I think you two are good together!
Also, Catherine Avery is my mother-in-law,
so I'll call her any damn time I feel like it!
- Understood. - All right.
Need something?
'Cause I was just headed out for the night.
Yeah, I... I brought the thunder.
Sorry?
I brought the thunder. It's what I call it.
Only... I mean, it's very effective at work.
It's totally inappropriate on a date.
I was nervous.
I didn't socialize a lot as a kid.
I kind of spent all my time in books,
and you don't have to socialize...
with books.
So when I get nervous,
I tend to cover it up by talking a lot
and being really loud and definite
and being in charge...
So no one will see how scared I am.
And on our date, I was terrified because...
You're very handsome and nice,
and you're great.
And I'm dorky. I'm nerdy. I'm me.
So I brought the thunder,
and I'm so, so sorry,
because I really liked you.
Um...
I just... I just wanted you to know that I-I wasn't...
I mean, I'm not... I'm... I'm...
Uh...
Anyway...
Bye.
Maggie.
Next time, I'll bring the thunder.
Look, I appreciate that you are looking out for Owen.
I do, but what I do and who I see
are, quite honestly, none of your business.
Wow.
Okay.
I was only trying to...
I moved here to start something,
to build a new life.
You don't know me...
Not really.
You don't know where I've been or what I've had to overcome,
because you have never had to.
You've never lost the love of your life.
You have never cried
over the body of the person you love most in this world.
You...
You don't know how that messes a person up.
You've never had to claw your way back from that.
But I have.
I'm still trying to pull myself together,
and I am doing the very best that I can, so...
Until you've done that,
until you've had to walk in my shoes,
I need you to cut me some slack...
And back the hell off.
The microvascular work is amazing.
I mean, every tiny, little incision has to be perfect.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, did I tell you
Catherine Avery told me I was above average?
Yeah, yeah. You mentioned it.
This might be it. I might have found my specialty.
Thank god!
I've been worried about your specialty all day!
Shut up.
What happened in there?
Oh, she cut it off! She cut it off!
What?! Your wife?!
It was my sous-chef! Oh, god!
Come back with that penis!
Okay. Hold it right there.
Okay, Rory. Hand it over.
- No. - Don't be scared, all right?
Give me the penis, and everything will be fine.
Stop.
Don't come any closer.
Just put it in my hand...
I said stop.
I swear to god, you come any closer, I'll flush it.
Okay.
Okay, everything's gonna be okay.
No one wants to hurt you.
All you have to do is just give it to me,
and everything will be fine.
I was more than his sous-chef.
He said I was his heart, his muse.
We were gonna open another restaurant...
Our restaurant, together, as co-chefs.
He was gonna leave Marcia.
I believed him.
I believed in him.
But then...
She cut off his penis, and he still took her back.
That's not fair.
No, that's not fair.
All you wanted to do was be together.
I don't understand.
Come on.
You are a woman of rare talent...
A forward thinker, a warrior.
You saw my masterpiece in the hands of a thief,
and you ran to its rescue.
- You charged into battle. - Thank you.
You're exactly the kind of surgeon that I need in Boston...
Bold, fearless.
And when you're looking at specialties,
I hope that you will consider a urology fellowship with me.
Wow.
That... that's... wow.
You deserve it, Edwards.
Without you, this man's specimen
would have turned into a sad, old bagpipe.
So, you finish up here,
and I'll go check on our patient in pre-op.
Do you need something?
I need to make one thing clear.
My manhood has not been damaged here.
You may think I have a problem with powerful women, but...
You're having one right now.
No. Right now, I am having a problem with you.
We are having this problem.
And the problem is, I hurt you.
I hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry.
I came to you last year intending to propose,
but I let our professional differences stop me.
We love our work.
It's everything to us,
so it's easy to prioritize it.
I made that mistake before. I don't want to make it again.
Let me stop you right there,
because I don't think I can do this.
I...
It's just happened too many damn times...
With Jackson's father, with you.
You work... you work to make something better,
and then it just all... It just falls apart every time.
I know. It's true.
In fact, the only thing I can truly promise
is I'll probably hurt you again.
Well, that's really enticing.
Oh, and you'll hurt me,
and I'll come right back to you again when you do.
I'll accept the risk
because you are worth it,
because you matter to me.
Because I love you.
And I'm not going anywhere.
Hmm.
You okay?
What do you think?
I think there are probably a hundred things
that you'd be great at that you haven't even tried yet.
My mom thinks I did all this
because I get some kind of weird
high off being better than everyone else.
And don't get me wrong.
Being excellent is...
amazing.
But that's because I love this.
Loved this.
Even if you're both right,
that I'll find something else,
I'll never really love it...
Not like this.
Maybe not, but I believe
we get more than just one thing to love.
And one day...
Something will click.
And you'll know you found it.
I have to believe that.
hang on. H-h-hang on.
So, you just chased after her
as she ran down the hall with his penis?
Tell me again about the gloves.
How on earth did you think to grab gloves?
Instinct, I guess.
So, uh, when do you leave for Boston?
I don't know. Can... Let's not talk about it.
I can't believe
she handed the penis over to you...
Just like that.
So lucky.
Yeah, she did. She handed it to me.
Severed penis.
I was standing there
holding a severed penis in my hand,
and all I could think was,
"This isn't why I became a surgeon."
I do not love this penis.
I do not want a career in urology.
I mean, I don't know what I do want,
but I know I don't want that,
'cause that thing was gross.
Hey, are you hungry?
I hear it's tots day in the cafeteria.
No. No, no, no, no.
The thing about love is,
when it's good, it's so very good.
- What? - Nothing.
- Let's get some tots. - Okay.
And when it's bad, it hurts so much.
Hey, can we talk?
Uh, actually, I was just...
What's really going on?
I need you to tell me, 'cause...
You say one thing,
and I think you mean something else entirely,
and I want to understand.
I am trying to.
Because I want what we started here.
I do.
But I need a little help.
I don't think
that this is really the place that we should be talking...
Dr. Shepherd? You have a call on line 4.
I got to get that.
And if you can't find a way
to balance all those ups and downs...
It will make you crazy.
Hello?
Oh, no, sorry. You want the other Dr. Shepherd.
Here's his wife.
Hi. This is Dr. Shepherd's wife.
Uh, no, he's not here. Can I take a message for you?
Okay, sure.
Oh. I thought he was there.
Okay. Sure. No problem.
Okay, thank you.
Bye-bye.
Well, that was weird.
- What was? - Nothing.
Just that was the White House calling.
Derek never showed up at his meeting this morning.
Oh, yeah?
I'm sure his flight got delayed or something.
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