1
00:00:02,499 --> 00:00:04,366
Hey, would you like
to hear some songs
2
00:00:04,368 --> 00:00:07,836
I've rewritten to get children
interested in the hard sciences?
3
00:00:07,838 --> 00:00:09,038
Sure.
Really?
4
00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:11,040
Yeah. Well, I like
music, I like science,
5
00:00:11,042 --> 00:00:14,143
I like making fun
of Sheldon. Hit it.
6
00:00:14,145 --> 00:00:17,479
♪ There was a scientist
who had a theory ♪
7
00:00:17,481 --> 00:00:19,548
♪ And James Clerk Maxwell
was his name-o ♪
8
00:00:19,550 --> 00:00:21,450
♪ J-A-M-E-S ♪
9
00:00:21,452 --> 00:00:23,385
♪ C-L-E-R-K ♪
10
00:00:23,387 --> 00:00:25,654
♪ Space M-A-X-W-E-L-L ♪
11
00:00:25,656 --> 00:00:28,057
♪ And James Clerk Maxwell
was his name-o ♪
12
00:00:28,059 --> 00:00:30,592
♪ There was a scientist
who had a theory ♪
13
00:00:30,594 --> 00:00:33,195
♪ And James Clerk Maxwell
was his name-o ♪
14
00:00:33,197 --> 00:00:34,396
♪ A-M-E-S ♪
15
00:00:34,398 --> 00:00:36,865
Uh, okay, okay.
Uh, we-we get it.
16
00:00:36,867 --> 00:00:38,801
Perhaps you'd prefer this one.
(clears throat)
17
00:00:38,803 --> 00:00:43,138
♪ The itsy bitsy spider
is not an insect at all ♪
18
00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,007
♪ Because it has
eight legs ♪
19
00:00:45,009 --> 00:00:48,377
♪ And two body parts ♪
20
00:00:48,379 --> 00:00:51,780
That's pretty cool, Sheldon.
Thank you.
21
00:00:51,782 --> 00:00:54,116
Do either of you know Beyoncé?
22
00:00:54,118 --> 00:00:56,051
I'd love her to get behind it.
23
00:00:56,053 --> 00:00:57,920
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Hey.
24
00:00:57,922 --> 00:00:59,354
Hey. - Hey.
Hello.
25
00:00:59,356 --> 00:01:01,323
You guys know the new
Discovery class missions
26
00:01:01,325 --> 00:01:02,691
that NASA's been working on?
Yeah.
27
00:01:02,693 --> 00:01:04,927
Well, they're looking
to include a message from Earth
28
00:01:04,929 --> 00:01:07,705
in case one of them
is encountered by alien life.
29
00:01:07,728 --> 00:01:08,363
LEONARD: Oh.
30
00:01:08,365 --> 00:01:10,365
When I encountered alien life,
I-I discovered
31
00:01:10,367 --> 00:01:13,902
that the key thing
was not to sit in its spot.
32
00:01:13,904 --> 00:01:17,673
All right, you can't breathe
our air without an inhaler,
33
00:01:17,675 --> 00:01:19,475
he's allergic
to Earth nuts,
34
00:01:19,477 --> 00:01:20,642
but I'm the alien.
35
00:01:20,644 --> 00:01:22,644
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Anyway,
36
00:01:22,646 --> 00:01:24,446
I'm among a handful
of scientists
37
00:01:24,448 --> 00:01:26,782
that have been asked to submit
a design proposal
38
00:01:26,784 --> 00:01:28,884
for the message
and its delivery system.
39
00:01:28,886 --> 00:01:30,919
Excellent. - Congratulations.
Good for you.
40
00:01:30,921 --> 00:01:32,988
And I was wondering
if any of you guys
41
00:01:32,990 --> 00:01:34,890
would like
to help me do it.
42
00:01:34,892 --> 00:01:37,126
Are you kidding? Yes.
What did you have in mind?
43
00:01:37,128 --> 00:01:39,895
I'll tell you exactly what you
should do: avoid the presumption
44
00:01:39,897 --> 00:01:42,931
of the Terran sensory input paradigm.
WOLOWITZ: Yeah, absolutely.
45
00:01:42,933 --> 00:01:44,800
You need a device capable
of delivering information
46
00:01:44,802 --> 00:01:47,569
across a wide range
of perceptual modalities.
47
00:01:47,571 --> 00:01:50,172
Any intelligent organism
would at the very least need
48
00:01:50,174 --> 00:01:52,508
the ability to locate the
position of objects in space.
49
00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:56,345
So the ideal interstellar
lingua franca would be haptic.
50
00:01:56,347 --> 00:01:58,447
Ooh, how about a 3-D
tactile communicator rigged
51
00:01:58,449 --> 00:02:00,115
for cross-sensory transposition?
52
00:02:00,117 --> 00:02:01,216
Exactly what I expected.
53
00:02:01,218 --> 00:02:02,918
Two people
forcing their ideas on me
54
00:02:02,920 --> 00:02:04,820
and only one gentleman
who could be bothered
55
00:02:04,822 --> 00:02:06,288
to ask me what my thoughts were.
56
00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:08,323
You two are out.
Congratulations, Leonard,
57
00:02:08,325 --> 00:02:10,092
you're on the team.
58
00:02:10,794 --> 00:02:13,796
My mommy raised a gentleman.
59
00:02:13,798 --> 00:02:17,432
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
60
00:02:17,434 --> 00:02:20,769
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
61
00:02:20,771 --> 00:02:22,404
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
62
00:02:22,406 --> 00:02:24,940
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
63
00:02:24,942 --> 00:02:27,609
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
64
00:02:27,611 --> 00:02:30,279
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
65
00:02:30,281 --> 00:02:32,181
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
66
00:02:32,183 --> 00:02:34,048
♪ Bang! ♪
67
00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:38,050
♪ The Big Bang Theory 8x21 ♪
The Communication Deterioration
Original Air Date on Apri
68
00:02:38,051 --> 00:02:43,051
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
69
00:02:43,114 --> 00:02:44,815
Hey. Thanks
for coming by.
70
00:02:44,817 --> 00:02:46,517
Yeah. I'm excited to help.
71
00:02:46,519 --> 00:02:48,252
I would have included
the others, but...
72
00:02:48,254 --> 00:02:49,820
you know exactly
what would've happened.
73
00:02:49,822 --> 00:02:52,256
They would've taken over the
project and bossed us around.
74
00:02:52,258 --> 00:02:53,724
I get it.
75
00:02:53,726 --> 00:02:56,260
Uh, just this morning, Sheldon
wouldn't let me put almond milk
76
00:02:56,262 --> 00:02:57,495
on my Grape-Nuts because he said
77
00:02:57,497 --> 00:03:00,565
it was
a theoretical nut conflict.
78
00:03:00,567 --> 00:03:02,934
You should have told him
to mind his own business.
79
00:03:02,936 --> 00:03:05,436
Yeah. That's better
than what I did say, which was,
80
00:03:05,438 --> 00:03:08,206
“Fine, I'll eat them
with club soda.”
81
00:03:08,208 --> 00:03:11,809
What makes them think they're
always in charge of everything?
82
00:03:11,811 --> 00:03:12,977
Mmm, they're alpha males.
83
00:03:12,979 --> 00:03:14,579
(chuckles)
What does that make us?
84
00:03:14,581 --> 00:03:16,714
We could be betas.
They're second in charge.
85
00:03:16,716 --> 00:03:17,682
Okay, that sounds good.
86
00:03:17,684 --> 00:03:18,916
Or we could be omegas.
87
00:03:18,918 --> 00:03:21,686
They get pushed around
by the alphas and the betas.
88
00:03:21,688 --> 00:03:24,021
Okay, that sounds like us.
89
00:03:24,023 --> 00:03:26,290
Whatever. There's
no alphas here,
90
00:03:26,292 --> 00:03:28,092
and this is
your project.
91
00:03:28,094 --> 00:03:30,161
You're in charge.
How do you want to start?
92
00:03:30,163 --> 00:03:33,197
I don't know.
How do you want to start?
93
00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:36,467
I don't know.
94
00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:39,804
(sighs)
95
00:03:39,806 --> 00:03:42,306
Should we call Sheldon
and Howard?
96
00:03:42,308 --> 00:03:43,975
No. We can do this by ourselves.
97
00:03:43,977 --> 00:03:45,710
Okay. Great.
How do you want to start?
98
00:03:45,712 --> 00:03:47,311
I don't know.
How do you want to start?
99
00:03:52,952 --> 00:03:54,986
Sheldon. Sheldon.
100
00:03:54,988 --> 00:03:57,154
Sheldon.
101
00:04:03,463 --> 00:04:06,364
I bet that started off
as a joke,
102
00:04:06,366 --> 00:04:09,000
but by the third one
you realized
103
00:04:09,002 --> 00:04:12,703
there was something
strangely enjoyable about it.
104
00:04:12,705 --> 00:04:16,207
Yeah, I kind of want
to do it again.
105
00:04:16,209 --> 00:04:18,909
I don't recommend it. You'll be
doing it the rest of your life.
106
00:04:20,647 --> 00:04:23,514
Anyway, if you're looking for
Leonard, he's with Koothrappali.
107
00:04:23,516 --> 00:04:25,149
Uh, no, I actually came
to talk to you.
108
00:04:25,151 --> 00:04:27,585
How nice.
109
00:04:28,955 --> 00:04:30,588
Here are some topics
that interest me:
110
00:04:30,590 --> 00:04:33,858
quantum mechanics, trains, flags...
No, no.
111
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:36,227
It's about my acting career.
Oh, sorry.
112
00:04:36,229 --> 00:04:37,528
That's not on the list.
113
00:04:37,530 --> 00:04:39,196
Well...
Oh, wait. No.
114
00:04:39,198 --> 00:04:40,364
How about
we split
115
00:04:40,366 --> 00:04:43,367
the difference
and discuss why Austria
116
00:04:43,369 --> 00:04:47,038
was an archduchy
and not just a regular duchy.
117
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,041
Okay, look, here's the thing.
I like pharmaceutical sales--
118
00:04:50,043 --> 00:04:52,343
it's going great-- but I have
an audition for a movie,
119
00:04:52,345 --> 00:04:54,378
and if I get it,
it could screw everything up.
120
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:57,648
Hmm. I know
exactly what you should do.
121
00:04:57,650 --> 00:05:00,084
Unfortunately,
I cannot tell you.
122
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,587
Well, why?
(sighs)
123
00:05:03,589 --> 00:05:05,589
I'm attempting
to turn over a new leaf.
124
00:05:05,591 --> 00:05:07,358
Earlier today,
it was pointed out to me
125
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,960
that I tend to force my ideas
on people.
126
00:05:11,364 --> 00:05:13,331
You're really
not gonna tell me?
127
00:05:13,333 --> 00:05:16,567
No, that train has left
the station.
128
00:05:16,569 --> 00:05:17,835
Now, we can
play this
129
00:05:17,837 --> 00:05:19,036
one of two ways.
130
00:05:19,038 --> 00:05:21,806
You can say,
“Trains, tell me more,”
131
00:05:21,808 --> 00:05:22,907
or...
132
00:05:22,909 --> 00:05:25,042
you can just look at me
like that
133
00:05:25,044 --> 00:05:26,911
and I'll start.
134
00:05:30,983 --> 00:05:32,683
What's going on
in here?
135
00:05:32,685 --> 00:05:35,619
I am making molecular cocktails.
136
00:05:35,621 --> 00:05:39,390
This sphere is actually
a cosmopolitan.
137
00:05:39,392 --> 00:05:40,524
(chuckles)
Oh.
138
00:05:40,526 --> 00:05:41,726
How do you drink it?
139
00:05:41,728 --> 00:05:44,829
Oh, just put it in your
mouth and pop it like a zit.
140
00:05:46,199 --> 00:05:48,499
I think I'll have a beer.
141
00:05:48,501 --> 00:05:49,967
First take a
picture with me.
142
00:05:49,969 --> 00:05:50,752
Why?
143
00:05:50,776 --> 00:05:53,036
Well, Raj and I always
talked about learning
144
00:05:53,039 --> 00:05:57,441
how to make cocktails like this
together, so I taught myself
145
00:05:57,443 --> 00:06:00,244
and I'm putting this on
Instagram so he can see it
146
00:06:00,246 --> 00:06:03,748
and feel like a turd.
Say cheese.
147
00:06:03,750 --> 00:06:06,517
Is this about the space probe
he's working on without you?
148
00:06:06,519 --> 00:06:08,085
You betcha. The very one.
149
00:06:09,956 --> 00:06:11,489
Howard, you're grown men.
150
00:06:11,491 --> 00:06:13,591
You guys don't have
to do everything together.
151
00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:17,561
I know. That's why I'm
spending tonight with you.
152
00:06:17,563 --> 00:06:19,697
Trying to hurt Raj's feelings.
153
00:06:19,699 --> 00:06:21,799
With my honeybunch.
154
00:06:22,668 --> 00:06:24,535
You're being childish.
155
00:06:24,537 --> 00:06:26,404
No. He is.
156
00:06:26,406 --> 00:06:28,706
So I have a dominant
personality.
157
00:06:28,708 --> 00:06:30,641
We all know that.
158
00:06:31,477 --> 00:06:34,044
I'm sorry. What do we know?
159
00:06:34,046 --> 00:06:36,013
In social groupings,
160
00:06:36,015 --> 00:06:40,217
I just naturally wind up
in charge.
161
00:06:40,219 --> 00:06:42,153
Don't take this the wrong way,
but how many
162
00:06:42,155 --> 00:06:44,622
of these little booze balls
have you had?
163
00:06:45,458 --> 00:06:47,258
You don't think I'm a leader?
164
00:06:47,260 --> 00:06:49,727
I was kidding.
Of course you are.
165
00:06:49,729 --> 00:06:51,929
Right. I couldn't change
if I wanted to.
166
00:06:51,931 --> 00:06:55,065
You better not change,
because I love who you are.
167
00:06:55,067 --> 00:06:57,668
Now, will you need help cleaning
all this up when you're done
168
00:06:57,670 --> 00:06:59,637
or can you do it
all by yourself?
169
00:06:59,639 --> 00:07:01,172
All by myself.
170
00:07:01,174 --> 00:07:03,474
There's my big boss man.
171
00:07:06,746 --> 00:07:10,381
So, often on the front
of the locomotive
172
00:07:10,383 --> 00:07:13,384
is a large iron wedge
173
00:07:13,386 --> 00:07:15,786
for clearing objects
off the tracks.
174
00:07:15,788 --> 00:07:18,556
Now, while commonly
known as a cowcatcher,
175
00:07:18,558 --> 00:07:22,560
I prefer the more
accurate “cow exploder”"
176
00:07:23,796 --> 00:07:26,530
Okay. Sheldon,
let me ask you a question.
177
00:07:26,532 --> 00:07:28,732
Mmm.
If I was at a train station
178
00:07:28,734 --> 00:07:31,335
and one train could take me
to my current job
179
00:07:31,337 --> 00:07:34,371
and the other train could take
me to an audition for a movie,
180
00:07:34,373 --> 00:07:36,740
which train should I get on?
181
00:07:39,212 --> 00:07:44,081
Are you using trains to trick me
into giving you advice?
182
00:07:44,083 --> 00:07:46,750
No.
183
00:07:46,752 --> 00:07:49,386
All right, then.
184
00:07:49,388 --> 00:07:51,655
You should take a third train
185
00:07:51,657 --> 00:07:53,991
where you audition
for the movie
186
00:07:53,993 --> 00:07:56,026
but hold off
on making a career decision
187
00:07:56,028 --> 00:07:57,862
until you have more information.
188
00:07:57,864 --> 00:07:59,530
Oh. You're right.
189
00:07:59,532 --> 00:08:01,932
I'm worried about something
that hasn't even happened yet.
190
00:08:01,934 --> 00:08:03,300
Huh.
191
00:08:03,302 --> 00:08:06,036
You are a wise man.
192
00:08:06,038 --> 00:08:08,205
Well, Penny, who's smarter:
the wise man
193
00:08:08,207 --> 00:08:12,576
or the person who comes to him
for advice?
194
00:08:13,412 --> 00:08:15,346
Oh, I guess you're right.
195
00:08:15,348 --> 00:08:17,581
Maybe it is the person who asks.
196
00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:20,050
No, it's the wise man.
197
00:08:23,256 --> 00:08:26,757
That's why he's called
the wise man.
198
00:08:26,759 --> 00:08:29,126
You know how I know that?
199
00:08:29,128 --> 00:08:31,595
I'm the wise man.
200
00:08:32,632 --> 00:08:34,932
I'm sorry. What was I thinking?
201
00:08:34,934 --> 00:08:36,500
Uh, just out
of curiosity,
202
00:08:36,502 --> 00:08:38,567
why didn't you ask Leonard
for advice about this?
203
00:08:38,568 --> 00:08:38,995
(groans)
204
00:08:39,038 --> 00:08:40,471
'Cause I already know
what he'll say.
205
00:08:40,473 --> 00:08:43,507
(whining voice): “Wah, wah, wah,
you shouldn't do it.”
206
00:08:43,509 --> 00:08:45,943
It's just like he's here!
207
00:08:48,447 --> 00:08:50,414
Okay, so we know
that previous attempts
208
00:08:50,416 --> 00:08:52,583
to send a message into space,
like the Golden Record
209
00:08:52,585 --> 00:08:54,785
on Voyager,
were heavily criticized.
210
00:08:54,787 --> 00:08:56,387
Well, aliens could only play
the Golden Record
211
00:08:56,389 --> 00:08:58,389
if they figured out
how to build a record player.
212
00:08:58,391 --> 00:09:01,725
Eh. Although, to be fair,
I watched E.T. build a telephone
213
00:09:01,727 --> 00:09:04,094
out of a Speak & Spell
and an umbrella.
214
00:09:05,131 --> 00:09:08,098
Dude was like
a little brown MacGyver.
215
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:10,301
That would be more helpful
if E.T. were real.
216
00:09:10,303 --> 00:09:15,406
Well, my feelings were real
when he was about to die.
217
00:09:15,408 --> 00:09:19,877
My God, when he's on the table
and they use the paddles on him.
218
00:09:19,879 --> 00:09:21,211
And he's all white.
219
00:09:21,213 --> 00:09:22,980
They zip him up in that bag.
220
00:09:22,982 --> 00:09:25,716
And Gertie can't stop crying.
221
00:09:25,718 --> 00:09:27,451
The flower dies.
222
00:09:27,453 --> 00:09:29,887
Okay, let's talk
about something else.
223
00:09:29,889 --> 00:09:32,256
All right, all right.
So it-it sounds
224
00:09:32,258 --> 00:09:34,725
like we need a way
to communicate that's simple.
225
00:09:34,727 --> 00:09:36,727
And doesn't require
outside machinery
226
00:09:36,729 --> 00:09:38,195
to be built to access it.
227
00:09:38,197 --> 00:09:40,230
It's also a problem
because we don't even know
228
00:09:40,232 --> 00:09:41,999
if the aliens
who find this can see.
229
00:09:42,001 --> 00:09:43,200
I mean, they might
communicate
230
00:09:43,202 --> 00:09:44,902
in a totally
different way than us.
231
00:09:44,904 --> 00:09:46,870
Like when my dog is mad at me,
232
00:09:46,872 --> 00:09:49,773
she tells me
by peeing in my slippers.
233
00:09:49,775 --> 00:09:53,277
That's actually a valid example.
234
00:09:53,279 --> 00:09:55,946
Animals do deliver messages
through scent.
235
00:09:55,948 --> 00:09:57,715
Bees talk to each other
by dancing.
236
00:09:57,717 --> 00:09:58,882
Whales have their songs.
237
00:09:58,884 --> 00:10:01,485
Penny has about 20 different
ways of rolling her eyes
238
00:10:01,487 --> 00:10:03,621
that each mean
something different.
239
00:10:03,623 --> 00:10:06,123
Okay, so, what it
sounds like is,
240
00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:07,458
what we want is a device
241
00:10:07,460 --> 00:10:09,593
that can deliver a message
through not only sight,
242
00:10:09,595 --> 00:10:10,995
but other senses, as well.
243
00:10:10,997 --> 00:10:14,164
The most basic sense that any
space-faring civilization
244
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,233
would have to possess is touch.
245
00:10:16,235 --> 00:10:18,268
Ooh. Ooh, ooh!
246
00:10:18,270 --> 00:10:20,504
We could make
a video-playing device
247
00:10:20,506 --> 00:10:22,606
that simultaneously translates
the information
248
00:10:22,608 --> 00:10:24,341
into a tactile medium.
249
00:10:24,343 --> 00:10:26,977
All we have to do is rig up
a 3-D communication system!
250
00:10:26,979 --> 00:10:28,078
We-we can totally do that!
251
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:29,747
I know!
This is great!
252
00:10:29,749 --> 00:10:30,914
Yeah, you know what else it is?
What?
253
00:10:30,916 --> 00:10:32,716
Exactly what Sheldon
and Howard said.
254
00:10:35,054 --> 00:10:37,688
Well, thank you
for peeing in my slippers.
255
00:10:46,072 --> 00:10:48,172
♪ It's the eye of the tiger ♪
256
00:10:48,174 --> 00:10:50,308
♪ It's the ear of the bat ♪
257
00:10:50,310 --> 00:10:52,677
♪ It's the whiskers
of the catfish ♪
258
00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:55,513
♪ And the walrus... ♪
259
00:10:55,515 --> 00:10:59,951
Hang on. Not that your song
isn't terrible-- it is...
260
00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:04,789
...but how do you mention bats
and leave out sonar?
261
00:11:04,791 --> 00:11:06,724
You didn't let me finish.
262
00:11:06,726 --> 00:11:10,761
♪ And also regarding the bat ♪
263
00:11:10,763 --> 00:11:13,097
♪ It has sonar. ♪
264
00:11:14,601 --> 00:11:16,100
KOOTHRAPPALI:
Hey.
265
00:11:16,102 --> 00:11:17,235
Hello.
266
00:11:17,237 --> 00:11:19,403
Look,
267
00:11:19,405 --> 00:11:22,406
I know you guys are upset,
but we've talked about it,
268
00:11:22,408 --> 00:11:23,941
and we think it'd be beneficial
269
00:11:23,943 --> 00:11:26,244
for you to be part
of the project.
270
00:11:27,213 --> 00:11:30,681
Well, well, well,
did you hear that, Sheldon?
271
00:11:30,683 --> 00:11:33,150
I'm sorry. I was trying
to think of what rhymes
272
00:11:33,152 --> 00:11:35,786
with “nose of the aardvark.”
273
00:11:35,788 --> 00:11:37,121
LEONARD:
We want you
274
00:11:37,123 --> 00:11:39,223
back on the project with us.
275
00:11:39,225 --> 00:11:44,295
Well, well, well, did
you hear that, Howard?
276
00:11:44,297 --> 00:11:45,563
Look, we admit it.
277
00:11:45,565 --> 00:11:48,099
The idea that you guys came
up with was really good,
278
00:11:48,101 --> 00:11:50,101
and I'd love
your help.
279
00:11:50,103 --> 00:11:53,104
I suppose it couldn't have been
easy for you to say that.
280
00:11:53,106 --> 00:11:56,207
It wasn't, so...
are you in?
281
00:11:57,777 --> 00:11:59,143
Certainly.
Sure. Great.
282
00:11:59,145 --> 00:12:01,445
Now that we're all
on the same page,
283
00:12:01,447 --> 00:12:03,247
let's get together tonight
and work on it.
284
00:12:03,249 --> 00:12:04,448
“Get together tonight”?
285
00:12:04,450 --> 00:12:05,916
Leonard, stop trying
to control everything,
286
00:12:05,918 --> 00:12:08,619
and give poor Raj a chance to
come up with what we should do.
287
00:12:08,621 --> 00:12:09,720
Go ahead, Raj.
288
00:12:09,722 --> 00:12:11,622
Okay, I think
we should do it right now.
289
00:12:11,624 --> 00:12:13,024
Tonight works better for me.
290
00:12:13,026 --> 00:12:15,459
Okay.
291
00:12:19,732 --> 00:12:21,098
(sighs)
292
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:23,601
Okay, it's just an audition.
293
00:12:23,603 --> 00:12:25,269
Why am I nervous?
294
00:12:25,271 --> 00:12:26,637
Maybe it's a good thing.
295
00:12:26,639 --> 00:12:28,539
Just means I want it.
296
00:12:28,541 --> 00:12:30,107
And I can have it.
297
00:12:30,109 --> 00:12:31,542
This feels right.
298
00:12:31,544 --> 00:12:33,744
Why did I ever give this up?
299
00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:41,085
I'm starting to remember.
300
00:12:43,222 --> 00:12:45,890
So, I'd like
to try a technique
301
00:12:45,892 --> 00:12:47,558
where no one gets steamrolled.
302
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,093
When you talk,
303
00:12:49,095 --> 00:12:52,029
instead of bringing up
a new idea, respect what was
304
00:12:52,031 --> 00:12:54,865
just said by building on it.
305
00:12:54,867 --> 00:12:56,600
Uh, building on that...
Mm-hmm.
306
00:12:56,602 --> 00:12:59,203
...we should order dinner.
307
00:12:59,205 --> 00:13:01,505
How is that building
on what he just said?
308
00:13:01,507 --> 00:13:05,009
Building on what Sheldon said,
I could go for Chinese.
309
00:13:05,011 --> 00:13:06,744
Hang on.
Building on what Leonard said,
310
00:13:06,746 --> 00:13:08,145
no one built on what I said.
311
00:13:08,147 --> 00:13:10,081
Building on “building on that”"
312
00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:12,416
there's a new build-your-own
pizza place on Colorado.
313
00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:14,985
Building on that,
I'd like to remind you,
314
00:13:14,987 --> 00:13:16,087
I'm lactose intolerant.
315
00:13:16,089 --> 00:13:17,822
I saw the menu.
They have soy cheese.
316
00:13:17,824 --> 00:13:20,257
Ha, ha! You didn't say
“building on.” You're out!
317
00:13:20,259 --> 00:13:21,959
It's not Simon Says.
318
00:13:21,961 --> 00:13:23,728
Yeah, you're missing the point, Sheldon.
You're out, and you're out.
319
00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:25,229
I win! Who wants pizza?
320
00:13:29,135 --> 00:13:31,102
Penny?
321
00:13:31,104 --> 00:13:32,470
Oh, hey.
Hey.
322
00:13:32,472 --> 00:13:34,372
I haven't seen you
auditioning in a while.
323
00:13:34,374 --> 00:13:37,141
Yeah, uh, I got a job
as a pharmaceutical sales rep.
324
00:13:37,143 --> 00:13:39,243
You quit acting?
Well, kind of.
325
00:13:39,245 --> 00:13:40,711
But now I get to act like
326
00:13:40,713 --> 00:13:44,548
inflamed heart is only
a “mild side effect.” (laughs)
327
00:13:44,550 --> 00:13:46,751
I heard you can make
good money doing that.
328
00:13:46,753 --> 00:13:49,620
Yeah, it's going okay,
but I do miss this sometimes.
329
00:13:49,622 --> 00:13:51,155
Really?
Mmm.
330
00:13:51,157 --> 00:13:53,491
'Cause I got to tell
you, I am so sick
331
00:13:53,493 --> 00:13:56,527
of the humiliation and being
treated like a piece of meat.
332
00:13:56,529 --> 00:13:59,563
Chelsea?
Wish me luck. (laughs)
333
00:14:01,300 --> 00:14:03,467
They're gonna
love you.
334
00:14:04,537 --> 00:14:07,738
I heard she's pushing 40
and everything's fake.
335
00:14:08,508 --> 00:14:10,941
Yeah. I started
that rumor.
336
00:14:13,112 --> 00:14:15,813
Okay, since we agree
on the delivery system
337
00:14:15,815 --> 00:14:17,481
for the message,
maybe we should talk
338
00:14:17,483 --> 00:14:18,749
about what the message could be.
339
00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:21,519
Well, I think we should show
what earthlings look like.
340
00:14:21,521 --> 00:14:24,054
The plaque they sent up on the
Pioneer probe had a drawing
341
00:14:24,056 --> 00:14:25,790
of a naked man
and woman on it.
342
00:14:25,792 --> 00:14:27,191
Yeah, I never cared for that.
343
00:14:27,193 --> 00:14:29,693
It's advertising
to predator races
344
00:14:29,695 --> 00:14:33,597
just how soft
and squishy we are.
345
00:14:33,599 --> 00:14:35,633
Squeeze yourself!
346
00:14:35,635 --> 00:14:36,867
Oh, don't be offended.
347
00:14:36,869 --> 00:14:38,469
You know, of
the four of us,
348
00:14:38,471 --> 00:14:40,471
you have the most
veal-like consistency.
349
00:14:42,275 --> 00:14:44,475
Well, maybe there's a way
to appear nonaggressive,
350
00:14:44,477 --> 00:14:46,977
but also be able to protect
ourselves if necessary.
351
00:14:46,979 --> 00:14:49,513
Like smiling and waving
with one hand,
352
00:14:49,515 --> 00:14:52,883
but the other hand holding
the severed head of a tiger.
353
00:14:52,885 --> 00:14:54,885
You want to send
a passive-aggressive message
354
00:14:54,887 --> 00:14:56,053
out into the universe?
355
00:14:56,055 --> 00:14:57,254
That's ridiculous.
356
00:14:57,256 --> 00:14:58,789
Oh, you mean passive-aggressive
357
00:14:58,791 --> 00:15:00,825
like posting pictures
of you and your wife
358
00:15:00,827 --> 00:15:02,026
eating cosmopolitan balls
359
00:15:02,028 --> 00:15:04,895
that you know belong
in my mouth?
360
00:15:06,833 --> 00:15:08,766
Perhaps Howard meant
passive-aggressive
361
00:15:08,768 --> 00:15:11,402
like asking our group
to help on your project,
362
00:15:11,404 --> 00:15:13,103
and then only
choosing Leonard.
363
00:15:13,105 --> 00:15:15,973
(sighs) Look, I'm sorry
I hurt your feelings,
364
00:15:15,975 --> 00:15:18,476
but you do have
strong personalities
365
00:15:18,478 --> 00:15:20,411
and always end up taking over.
366
00:15:20,413 --> 00:15:21,712
It's not always.
367
00:15:21,714 --> 00:15:23,514
What about when we went
to Comic-Con
368
00:15:23,516 --> 00:15:25,015
and dressed like Jabba the Hutt?
369
00:15:25,017 --> 00:15:27,518
You got to be Jabba's head,
and I got to be
370
00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,720
his fat slug butt.
371
00:15:31,023 --> 00:15:33,958
We looked great.
372
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:36,093
You let a guy sit on me.
373
00:15:36,095 --> 00:15:37,761
He was dressed as Princess Leia.
374
00:15:37,763 --> 00:15:39,830
It made a nice picture.
375
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:45,102
I'm just saying, sometimes Raj
and I feel pushed aside.
376
00:15:45,104 --> 00:15:47,671
Yeah. Like when you
took Sheldon to Texas
377
00:15:47,673 --> 00:15:49,139
and showed him all around NASA--
378
00:15:49,141 --> 00:15:51,375
you didn't even think
to ask me and Leonard.
379
00:15:51,377 --> 00:15:53,344
You know what?
You're right.
380
00:15:53,346 --> 00:15:55,045
I should have asked you.
381
00:15:55,047 --> 00:15:57,248
Yeah, and if he does
ask you, go.
382
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:59,216
It's amazing.
383
00:16:00,353 --> 00:16:01,719
Okay, and if
we're talking
384
00:16:01,721 --> 00:16:03,187
about being left
out of things,
385
00:16:03,189 --> 00:16:05,189
you guys went to Skywalker
Ranch without us.
386
00:16:05,191 --> 00:16:06,590
Oh, I recommend that, too.
387
00:16:06,592 --> 00:16:08,959
That was a magical
experience!
388
00:16:08,961 --> 00:16:10,394
LEONARD:
Wait a minute.
389
00:16:10,396 --> 00:16:12,630
Sheldon spent a whole day
with James Earl Jones
390
00:16:12,632 --> 00:16:13,898
and never told any of us.
391
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,766
I sure did.
392
00:16:15,768 --> 00:16:17,201
Oh, my goodness!
393
00:16:17,203 --> 00:16:20,437
Well, from Jabba's head
to ice cream with Darth Vader,
394
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,673
I'm having a heck of a ride.
395
00:16:22,675 --> 00:16:23,707
Yeah, look,
396
00:16:23,709 --> 00:16:25,075
clearly, good
things happen
397
00:16:25,077 --> 00:16:26,477
when I'm in charge.
398
00:16:26,479 --> 00:16:27,745
Now, why don't
399
00:16:27,747 --> 00:16:30,748
you boys step aside,
let me knock this project out?
400
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:31,916
Sheldon,
401
00:16:31,918 --> 00:16:33,083
you're not in charge.
402
00:16:33,085 --> 00:16:34,385
Raj is in charge.
403
00:16:34,387 --> 00:16:36,520
Leonard, who's
really in charge?
404
00:16:36,522 --> 00:16:41,125
The person in charge, or
those who put him in charge?
405
00:16:41,127 --> 00:16:42,426
He's right.
406
00:16:42,428 --> 00:16:44,662
If you think about it,
we're all in charge.
407
00:16:44,664 --> 00:16:46,196
No, the guy in charge is in...
408
00:16:46,198 --> 00:16:49,166
Why is everyone so bad
at these?!
409
00:16:50,269 --> 00:16:52,102
I mean, the whole experience
reminded me
410
00:16:52,104 --> 00:16:54,305
about how much
I hated about that world.
411
00:16:54,307 --> 00:16:56,674
You-you know, the anxiety,
the depression, the negativity.
412
00:16:56,676 --> 00:16:58,676
I don't want
to feel those things.
413
00:16:58,678 --> 00:17:02,913
I want to sell drugs to people
who feel those things.
414
00:17:02,915 --> 00:17:05,215
I can't believe you got up
and walked out
415
00:17:05,217 --> 00:17:07,418
of an audition for a big movie.
416
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:08,686
I did.
417
00:17:08,688 --> 00:17:10,521
I-I mean, I walked in,
read for the part,
418
00:17:10,523 --> 00:17:12,957
then stunk up the place,
but then I walked right out.
419
00:17:13,859 --> 00:17:15,059
Well, I'm glad
420
00:17:15,061 --> 00:17:17,094
you have a new
appreciation for your job.
421
00:17:17,096 --> 00:17:18,862
I do, and you know,
I don't think
422
00:17:18,864 --> 00:17:20,965
I've ever thanked you properly
for helping me get it.
423
00:17:20,967 --> 00:17:22,733
Properly, at all.
424
00:17:22,735 --> 00:17:25,869
It's just words
I've never heard.
425
00:17:25,871 --> 00:17:27,004
Well, thank you.
426
00:17:27,006 --> 00:17:29,139
You're a good friend,
and you changed my life.
427
00:17:29,141 --> 00:17:30,708
You're welcome.
428
00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:32,376
Hey, now that
you're making some real money,
429
00:17:32,378 --> 00:17:34,878
maybe you can take your friend
out for a nice thank-you dinner.
430
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:37,414
Sure.
431
00:17:37,416 --> 00:17:39,216
And you probably have
to invite your other friend
432
00:17:39,218 --> 00:17:40,618
'cause she overheard you
talking about it,
433
00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,686
and it would be awkward
to exclude her.
434
00:17:42,688 --> 00:17:44,622
Okay.
435
00:17:44,624 --> 00:17:45,723
How about now?
436
00:17:45,725 --> 00:17:47,992
All right.
437
00:17:50,162 --> 00:17:51,695
Don't forget your wallet.
438
00:17:51,697 --> 00:17:53,864
I... (groans)
439
00:18:04,588 --> 00:18:07,122
Greetings from planet Earth.
440
00:18:08,693 --> 00:18:10,826
Just turn left
at Alpha Centauri.
441
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,861
You can't miss it.
442
00:18:25,197 --> 00:18:31,697
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man