1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:06,336
Next item is Friday's alumni dance.
How's that progressing?
2
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:10,272
I've e-mailed every former student
who's not in prison or jail.
3
00:00:10,443 --> 00:00:14,277
Remember there's a difference.
Our alumni are touchy about that.
4
00:00:14,447 --> 00:00:17,610
- What's the difference?
- You go to jail if a cop doesn't like you.
5
00:00:17,784 --> 00:00:20,275
They can't send you to prison
without knowing you're poor.
6
00:00:20,453 --> 00:00:24,355
- Do you believe half your own politics?
- Yeah.
7
00:00:24,657 --> 00:00:26,716
- Yeah.
- I'm still trying to find a good DJ.
8
00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:29,589
By which I mean figure out
what makes a DJ good. Or bad.
9
00:00:29,763 --> 00:00:31,526
Or different from a phone or laptop.
10
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,132
How's the PowerPoint
for the city council meeting?
11
00:00:34,300 --> 00:00:36,029
Good question.
12
00:00:45,011 --> 00:00:49,072
When you asked if I knew PowerPoint,
I said:
13
00:00:50,984 --> 00:00:53,282
"Yes." But what did I really mean?
14
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,818
These are yeses and nos in a chart.
15
00:00:56,990 --> 00:01:00,187
They appear to be the same, however...
16
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,989
...I think you'll find...
17
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,869
...that within some eggs...
18
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:20,402
...is the truth.
19
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:27,242
That should've been a dollar bill.
But I'm no magician.
20
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:30,178
I'm just a guy that knows PowerPoint.
21
00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,622
Okay, pushing that meeting.
22
00:01:33,793 --> 00:01:37,729
In other news, campuses across
the country, including this area...
23
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:41,264
...have been seeing a dramatic rise
in guerilla marketing.
24
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:42,423
Why? They're amazing.
25
00:01:42,602 --> 00:01:44,467
- It's "guerilla" with a U.
- Got it.
26
00:01:44,637 --> 00:01:47,231
Undercover advertisers
that blend in with the public...
27
00:01:47,407 --> 00:01:49,637
...while covertly marketing
certain products.
28
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:51,936
They can advertise things
without you knowing?
29
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,842
Is that legal?
It sounds like brain-Windexing.
30
00:01:55,014 --> 00:01:56,709
It is legal and mostly harmless.
31
00:01:56,883 --> 00:02:00,080
But I'd like to protect some
of our more impressionable students...
32
00:02:00,253 --> 00:02:01,777
...from being unduly influenced.
33
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,446
So if you see anything,
let the dean know.
34
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:07,957
Okay, don't freak out. Someone just
told me that Honda has released...
35
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,722
...some kind of super vehicle
called the Honda Fit.
36
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,798
It's a small car with a big personality
that can handle...
37
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,425
...anything life throws at you.
Why am I standing here talking about it?
38
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:20,038
I have to find a Honda dealer.
School is canceled.
39
00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:23,039
The Honda Fit, it's happening.
It's finally happening.
40
00:02:23,209 --> 00:02:26,076
I'm gonna give the school's assets
a quick freezie-weezie.
41
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:28,180
- Is this meeting over?
- I think so.
42
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:31,749
But sometimes we just hang out
and say funny stuff.
43
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:34,011
- Have fun with that.
- Oh...
44
00:02:37,357 --> 00:02:38,483
Guys...
45
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,286
...do you feel like
Elroy doesn't like us
46
00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:43,588
...as much as we like him
and each other?
47
00:02:43,763 --> 00:02:45,560
He probably doesn't know his role yet.
48
00:02:45,732 --> 00:02:48,758
Is he Black Pierce? Old Troy?
Or Shirley Without a Giant Purse?
49
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,403
I haven't been entertaining
since Troy left.
50
00:02:51,571 --> 00:02:52,936
- Not true.
- You're amazing.
51
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,267
It's not just me.
You've been boring too.
52
00:02:55,441 --> 00:02:57,534
What was so special
about this Troy person?
53
00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,405
Did he own a rainbow?
54
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,410
Was he the group's pharmacist?
55
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:04,778
- We don't like to talk about it.
- But you often do.
56
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,681
I'm a problem solver.
Give me information.
57
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,412
I'll handle this.
58
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:12,183
Troy was very gifted at steel drums.
59
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,653
Steel drums.
60
00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:17,056
Interesting.
61
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:20,791
Well, this has been a great meeting.
I'm off.
62
00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:24,027
That won't pay off immediately,
but it's gonna pay off.
63
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,731
And that, Jeff, is the truth.
64
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:33,644
Did you lose the egg
you put the dollar bill in?
65
00:03:33,813 --> 00:03:35,440
That's how it works?
66
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:07,577
Britta, remember that guy
you were in love with...
67
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,840
...but your love was torn asunder
because...
68
00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:13,076
...he was the human incarnation
of a certain sandwich franchise?
69
00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,619
- Sub...?
- Don't say it. Don't ever say that name...
70
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,153
...without compensation.
71
00:04:17,323 --> 00:04:19,291
I know how much
that experience hurt you.
72
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:22,257
Which is why I'm warning you,
I just saw him in the parking lot.
73
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,565
Breathe. The self-destructive part
of you wants to run straight to him.
74
00:04:26,733 --> 00:04:30,294
- We need to be smarter than that, right?
- Right. Thank you, Annie.
75
00:04:30,470 --> 00:04:32,870
Now, I have one more class,
but if you can wait...
76
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:34,666
...40 minutes, I will meet you...
77
00:04:36,676 --> 00:04:38,041
No.
78
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,304
I don't just fling myself into the wild.
79
00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:42,471
The hub of a quality
camping experience...
80
00:04:42,649 --> 00:04:44,674
...is a safe and reliable generator.
81
00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:49,381
Uh... You know what?
Um, I'll talk to you girls later, all right?
82
00:04:49,555 --> 00:04:51,546
Stay inventive and enthusiastic.
83
00:04:51,724 --> 00:04:53,123
Thank you.
84
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,317
- Britta.
- Sub...
85
00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:57,895
No, no, no. That's my sandwich name.
I'm my own man, now.
86
00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:01,033
I'm a free, reliable, quality man...
87
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,565
...named Rick.
- Hi, Rick.
88
00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:04,996
- Unh!
- That's for half of my heart.
89
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:06,832
- Ah!
- And that's for the other half.
90
00:05:07,006 --> 00:05:10,305
And this is for being the reason
there's two halves of my heart.
91
00:05:10,476 --> 00:05:13,036
Can you crouch down?
You're taller than my instructor.
92
00:05:13,212 --> 00:05:15,840
- I'm only a yellow belt.
- No. It took me this long...
93
00:05:16,015 --> 00:05:18,813
...to gain my freedom.
I never stopped thinking about you.
94
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:22,477
- You touched me in ways no one has.
- Nice.
95
00:05:23,022 --> 00:05:25,490
- I came back for you.
- You did?
96
00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:29,157
Hey, Rick. Look what I got. Ha!
97
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,695
- Ho, ho! Great, dean.
- Yeah. He, he.
98
00:05:31,864 --> 00:05:34,059
But, uh, where's your Honda Fit?
99
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:37,361
Oh, I drive a CR-V. The Fit combines
the efficiency of a subcompact...
100
00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:40,165
...with the versatility
to take what life throws at it.
101
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,171
Yeah, that's what you said. That's me.
102
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,435
Can the CR-V not take
what life throws at it?
103
00:05:44,610 --> 00:05:46,874
Yeah, but the CR-V adds durability
and storage.
104
00:05:47,213 --> 00:05:49,477
Okay. That makes sense.
105
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,480
I bet my bank has a grace period.
106
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,847
I'm going to get a CR-V.
107
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:56,345
Dean, Dean.
108
00:05:57,724 --> 00:05:59,521
- Are you guerilla marketing for Honda?
- Shh!
109
00:06:00,059 --> 00:06:03,586
You're not allowed to know that.
I'm useless to Honda if anyone knows.
110
00:06:03,763 --> 00:06:06,197
Unbelievable.
It's the same story all over again.
111
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:08,459
I disagree.
I think it's a whole new story.
112
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:11,262
I have a beard now and an identity.
113
00:06:11,437 --> 00:06:14,463
Selling Hondas is just my job.
And they make great products...
114
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:17,734
...that I'd wanna sell anyway.
- So can you have a girlfriend?
115
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:19,403
That's what I thought.
116
00:06:19,579 --> 00:06:21,877
Then see you around. As a friend.
117
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,416
As a friend, Britta...
118
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:28,816
...can I at least show you the CR-V's
easy fold-down 60/40 split-rear seat?
119
00:06:28,988 --> 00:06:30,819
For 15 minutes.
120
00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,355
Then friends for real.
121
00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:40,163
- Great news.
- The steel-drum thing paid off?
122
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,927
We invited Elroy to meet us
in the study room for a game night.
123
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,262
- He said yes.
- Yah!
124
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:47,736
Gonna play Pretty Please Will You
Like Us More? That'll warm him up.
125
00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:52,003
In celebration of Elroy's life peaking
The Ears Have it.
126
00:06:52,178 --> 00:06:54,146
The classic game
of whose ears you have...
127
00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:55,871
...which ears have it
and whether you have those ears.
128
00:07:00,319 --> 00:07:02,787
We're work-shopping new handshakes.
129
00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:05,423
You realize
you're just reinforcing his aloofness?
130
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,082
You want someone to like you,
don't get to know them.
131
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,525
Sit back,
wait for them to notice you're cool.
132
00:07:10,696 --> 00:07:13,028
- Are you 13?
- What's the age on The Ears Have It?
133
00:07:13,199 --> 00:07:14,359
- Seven and up.
- Then I'm 6.
134
00:07:14,534 --> 00:07:15,694
Ugh.
135
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:23,069
I will say you've become
more reliable and durable.
136
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,641
I hope we can do this again.
137
00:07:25,812 --> 00:07:28,576
No, Rick. I want a normal relationship.
138
00:07:28,748 --> 00:07:31,046
I want to experience brunch in public.
139
00:07:31,217 --> 00:07:34,414
I want a non-financial reason
to text my parents.
140
00:07:34,587 --> 00:07:36,714
I wanna tell another person
how to dress.
141
00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:39,289
We can have a relationship.
We just have to follow a few rules.
142
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,390
- Rick? Are you in there?
- You have to hide.
143
00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:46,123
The windows are fogged over.
Are you napping heavily?
144
00:07:46,299 --> 00:07:48,995
- I can't hide forever.
- No, but you can hide in comfort.
145
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:51,534
There's 35.2 cubic feet
of cargo space back here.
146
00:07:51,704 --> 00:07:52,932
Please, Britta?
147
00:07:53,105 --> 00:07:55,232
Damn it. Ugh.
148
00:07:56,008 --> 00:07:57,168
Ah! Ha-ha-ha.
149
00:07:57,743 --> 00:07:59,768
Come on, come on, come on.
150
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,508
Ta-da!
151
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,842
Why choose
when you can Hond-oose?
152
00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:06,382
Oh, and that blower,
that was just an impulse buy.
153
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:09,316
Wow, dean, you know,
one vehicle's enough for one person.
154
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:12,481
I guess I know that in my head,
but I can't shake this fear...
155
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:16,253
...of losing even one small part
of what Honda has to offer.
156
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:19,030
My God.
You're a Level 7 Susceptible.
157
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:21,098
- A what?
- Uh, nothing. Nothing, I...
158
00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,667
Look, Rick, whatever that is,
you can tell me.
159
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:25,030
I'm on board.
160
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:27,764
Yes.
161
00:08:29,041 --> 00:08:31,134
- Yes, you are. Heh.
- Heh, oh...
162
00:08:39,318 --> 00:08:40,683
- Am I found in Africa?
- Yes.
163
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,287
And San Diego and the Bronx.
164
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,083
- A woman?
- Am I large?
165
00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:47,526
- Am I an elephant?
- Yaaahh!
166
00:08:48,661 --> 00:08:51,391
I was thinking dolphin,
but I knew they didn't have ears.
167
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:54,226
Because my dentist has a poster of one
on the ceiling...
168
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,335
- ...and I recently had a root canal.
Ha-ha-ha!
169
00:08:57,870 --> 00:09:00,668
- I could hear you down the hall.
- We're playing The Ears Have It!
170
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,432
- Chang's ahead.
- With an asterisk.
171
00:09:02,608 --> 00:09:05,236
- I'm cheating.
- You can have my spot. I should leave.
172
00:09:05,411 --> 00:09:08,676
Whoa, no.
Well, fun hanging out with you, Elroy.
173
00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,839
We know you have
your choice of friends...
174
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:14,384
...and we thank you for choosing us.
- Easy choice to make.
175
00:09:16,088 --> 00:09:18,147
See? Told you.
176
00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:20,849
"Elroy doesn't like us.
What are we gonna do?"
177
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,051
You guys are goofs.
178
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:25,220
- Yeah, we were silly.
- I got up to make nachos and Elroy said:
179
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,389
"That was 'not your' job,"
and we laughed. Eh-he.
180
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:28,693
Then he made them for me.
181
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:31,928
It was more than wordplay.
It really wasn't my job in his eyes.
182
00:09:32,104 --> 00:09:35,938
I hadn't seen that side of him until now.
He had a great time.
183
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:39,202
- Till Jeff showed up. Ha-ha-ha!
- Maybe he just doesn't like Jeff.
184
00:09:39,378 --> 00:09:41,539
Okay, my deal.
Boston rules. Two up, one down.
185
00:09:41,714 --> 00:09:45,241
Elf ears are wild, joker ears are regular.
Ears go cold once off the head.
186
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,410
Rat ears, an automatic loss.
No peeking, sniffing or grunting.
187
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,681
No asking, "Do I have lobes?"
Chang's ahead.
188
00:09:50,856 --> 00:09:52,483
- With an asterisk.
- It's not true.
189
00:09:52,658 --> 00:09:56,219
It is. I cheat at everything.
I'm cheating at hide-and-seek right now.
190
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:59,694
We weren't supposed to leave
the rec center. Okay, let's do this.
191
00:09:59,865 --> 00:10:01,457
Extra cards.
192
00:10:02,868 --> 00:10:04,460
Stupid sink!
193
00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,502
Every time!
194
00:10:06,672 --> 00:10:07,934
Mother...
195
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,631
I hate... Ugh!
196
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:11,939
- Oh.
- No rush.
197
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:13,408
Hi.
198
00:10:13,579 --> 00:10:14,637
What do you need?
199
00:10:14,814 --> 00:10:15,872
A club soda, please.
200
00:10:16,048 --> 00:10:18,141
How about something
to keep it company?
201
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:21,548
- What do you recommend?
- Well, Scotch and soda is a classic.
202
00:10:21,721 --> 00:10:22,779
This one's okay.
203
00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:25,651
We just got this one in.
It's got a pig on the bottle.
204
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:28,419
But this one, this one's really good.
205
00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:32,030
It's aged eight years, smoky,
from Scotland.
206
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,166
A little pricier, but worth it.
207
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:36,824
I drink this one
when I've got a reason to celebrate.
208
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:39,130
Well, then I will take that one.
209
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:41,865
- I've got something to celebrate.
- Yeah? What's that?
210
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,770
She's good.
211
00:10:45,678 --> 00:10:47,009
What are you doing here?
212
00:10:47,179 --> 00:10:49,670
Britta, this is my boss.
213
00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:51,576
From Honda?
214
00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:54,914
In public, you'll refer to us
as "Hilary" from now on. Continue.
215
00:10:55,087 --> 00:10:58,386
There's a program we can be in
where we covertly market as a team.
216
00:10:58,557 --> 00:11:01,355
We can be a couple, in a relationship,
in public.
217
00:11:01,527 --> 00:11:03,518
We can walk down the street
holding hands.
218
00:11:03,696 --> 00:11:07,257
If I take a job tricking people
into buying things they don't want.
219
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:09,993
Do you enjoy billboards
and commercials, Miss Perry?
220
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:13,969
You mean shill-boards
and con-mercials?
221
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,437
No, I don't.
222
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:16,836
I detest them.
223
00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:20,172
They are unmanned bulldozers,
rolling over anything in their path.
224
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,314
What Rick does is surgical.
225
00:11:22,481 --> 00:11:25,973
He finds that part of each life
that Honda can improve...
226
00:11:26,152 --> 00:11:30,282
...and gently bathes it in
the most helpful information possible.
227
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:32,890
I don't think you understand
how surgery works.
228
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:34,720
I came in here to get a club soda.
229
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:38,125
Right now I am drinking probably
the best Scotch I've had in years.
230
00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:39,730
Did you trick me?
231
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,992
Am I suffering?
232
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,901
Do you love this man?
233
00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:47,830
- I do.
- Then I pronounce you...
234
00:11:48,007 --> 00:11:49,702
...a highly influential couple.
235
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,173
You may kiss your boyfriend.
236
00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:59,417
- Where'd he go?
- That's not for us to understand.
237
00:12:01,087 --> 00:12:04,215
Well, okay, but he's right there.
238
00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:14,989
- Hi, Todd.
- Hey, guys.
239
00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,294
- Mind if we sit with you?
- That'd be great.
240
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:21,805
I have to say,
you guys seem very happy together.
241
00:12:21,974 --> 00:12:23,236
Well, we have our moments.
242
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,037
I'm excited because we're going
antiquing this weekend.
243
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,942
I love antiquing. Everything is so old.
244
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:30,946
- I like it too.
- You said you hated it.
245
00:12:31,117 --> 00:12:34,678
I hated finding these treasures
and not being able to fit them in the car.
246
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:36,344
- Now I got CR-V.
- CR-V?
247
00:12:36,522 --> 00:12:39,286
Yeah, Rick's new Honda.
He won't shut up about it.
248
00:12:39,458 --> 00:12:42,518
- It's kind of a game changer.
- It's certainly a sex-life changer.
249
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:47,055
Sorry. We're being obnoxious.
250
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:50,498
- So, what have you been up to?
- I don't remember.
251
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:52,694
- CR-V, you say?
- CR-V.
252
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,170
CR-V.
253
00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:58,867
- You're amazing.
- You're amazing.
254
00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:00,033
Honda's amazing.
255
00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:03,648
- I want you to meet my parents.
- Yes.
256
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:05,644
Honda.
257
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:07,513
- Look, Britta's in love.
- Yep.
258
00:13:07,686 --> 00:13:09,210
He must be a very special young man.
259
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:13,256
I bet they'll be together
for a very long time.
260
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:19,994
- Yeah, you got her pegged, man. Pegged.
- Oh, ha-ha-ha!
261
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:21,633
- Oh, hey, Jeff.
- Hey.
262
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,393
Hey. Here, you can have my seat.
263
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:25,628
- I was just going to class.
- Before you go.
264
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,603
I know you have every one
of Natalie is Freezing's CDs...
265
00:13:28,774 --> 00:13:30,935
...but Abed found some songs
by them online...
266
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:34,671
...that they did for a charity album
for homeless skateboarders.
267
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,480
"Plastic Doll Parts,"
"Wallpaper Chrysalis."
268
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,618
"Weird Blanket." Ha, ha.
269
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:42,481
I never heard these.
This is great. Thanks.
270
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,513
Hey, stay away from that mechanic.
271
00:13:45,691 --> 00:13:46,988
Unless I need a wrench
made of licorice.
272
00:13:53,165 --> 00:13:55,463
Oh, man. I'm sorry. Inside joke.
273
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,535
I'm like a fart to that guy.
He can't get away fast enough.
274
00:13:58,704 --> 00:13:59,898
What? No.
275
00:14:00,072 --> 00:14:01,300
I mean, maybe.
276
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:05,166
What happened at that Ears game
that made him like you so much?
277
00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:08,336
Brief moments of human vulnerability.
Not your wheelhouse.
278
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,950
Oh, I'm sure you have detailed files
on human vulnerability, Abed.
279
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:13,675
- Wha...?
- Whoa, take a knee, man.
280
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:14,877
He's right, Jeff.
281
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:17,579
If you want Elroy to like you, maybe
you need to put yourself out there.
282
00:14:18,991 --> 00:14:20,618
You mean bribe him with gifts?
283
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:23,694
- Like your Natasha Freezes CD?
- Mmmmm...
284
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:24,989
- Natalie is Freezing.
- Ugh.
285
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,056
Natalie is Freezing. Ha!
286
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:29,898
Natalie is Freezing.
287
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:33,402
Natalie is Freezing. Natalie is Freezing.
Natalie is Freezing.
288
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:37,901
What is this?
289
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,172
I don't know. I...
290
00:14:44,917 --> 00:14:46,043
I don't know.
291
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,777
- Honda.
- The power of dreams.
292
00:14:48,954 --> 00:14:52,321
Dean Pelton, I know how susceptible
you are to advertising.
293
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:54,721
Would you say
I'm a Level 7 Susceptible?
294
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,920
No. Because why would I?
Because that's moon-man talk.
295
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:02,693
You mentioned a new kid earlier
who told you about the new Honda Fit.
296
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,096
- Rick.
- Britta's boyfriend?
297
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:06,295
Yeah. But he's not... No.
298
00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:07,734
He's a good man.
299
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,707
And he wouldn't secretly be working
for Honda because when we first met...
300
00:15:11,877 --> 00:15:15,313
...he was secretly working
for a completely different company.
301
00:15:16,048 --> 00:15:20,041
Are you...? I don't know how to...
302
00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:24,280
I have a rule about being constructive,
so I can't ask any questions right now.
303
00:15:24,456 --> 00:15:28,449
All the questions I have right now are
rhetorical and end with the word "idiot."
304
00:15:28,627 --> 00:15:32,324
Do you know what a rhetorical...?
No, of course you don't, you're an idiot.
305
00:15:32,498 --> 00:15:34,022
I'm sorry.
306
00:15:34,199 --> 00:15:37,327
I am so sorry, but you're so stupid.
307
00:15:37,503 --> 00:15:41,496
You have no idea. You're the only one
who has no idea because guess why.
308
00:15:41,974 --> 00:15:43,942
Don't answer that. You'll get it wrong.
309
00:15:44,109 --> 00:15:46,100
Aw, so dumb.
You're just a dumb little man...
310
00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:48,803
...who tries to destroy this school
every minute...
311
00:15:48,981 --> 00:15:50,846
I am sorry.
312
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:53,177
I'm so sorry.
313
00:15:57,189 --> 00:15:59,384
Oh! Oh, it's okay.
314
00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:00,855
I mean, it's not okay, but...
315
00:16:02,261 --> 00:16:03,523
Shh. Shh.
316
00:16:03,696 --> 00:16:05,493
Oh, so stupid.
317
00:16:05,664 --> 00:16:07,427
- Ah!
- Oh, shh, shh.
318
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:09,995
Such a dummy.
319
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,967
We are just so thrilled
that you brought a friend.
320
00:16:13,138 --> 00:16:16,835
Thrilled. And it is "friend," then.
I mean, is that the correct moniker?
321
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:18,905
- Boyfriend.
- Hello.
322
00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:20,136
- Oh!
- Oh, ha, ha!
323
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,711
This is... Well, that's...
324
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,211
- Yes
- This is very exciting.
325
00:16:23,382 --> 00:16:25,748
You could just bowl me over
with one of those...
326
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:29,376
Sweetheart, what are the, uh...?
You remember at the Johnson's cabin?
327
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,149
- Feathers?
- You could bowl me over with a feather.
328
00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:34,656
Well, you have a lovely home.
I love this carpet.
329
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,523
It reminds me of the quality floor mats
in my Honda CR-V.
330
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:39,596
Oh, come on, sweetie.
That's not necessary.
331
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,960
You refer to your floor mats
as quality.
332
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:45,793
I've never heard that level
of floor-mat enthusiasm.
333
00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:48,132
Should we be caring more
about our floor mats?
334
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,468
I don't think we need
to jump to conclusions.
335
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:53,975
- Let the man finish his story.
- They're floor mats, that's the story.
336
00:16:54,146 --> 00:16:56,842
What's this? What's that?
There's things all around us.
337
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,041
Would you like to see a movie?
We have one.
338
00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,618
What is it, George?
It's... It's the... The Aviator.
339
00:17:01,787 --> 00:17:03,277
No, no... The Avatar.
340
00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:06,049
Uh, no, thank you.
That movie is three hours of puke.
341
00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:15,628
Of course Britta's joking.
342
00:17:15,801 --> 00:17:18,395
We enjoy Avatar very much.
343
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,333
- We do?
- Ha, ha... Yes.
344
00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:24,738
It's an immensely popular movie.
Of course, we love it.
345
00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:29,707
- How many alumni have responded?
- Not many.
346
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,544
But current students will show up
for the degree raffle.
347
00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,209
- How about we put the DJ there?
- You don't need a DJ.
348
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,878
I've been saying that
since the invention of shuffle.
349
00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,548
I have booked a surprise musical guest
this evening.
350
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:45,720
A little piece of '90s nostalgia
you might call Natalie is Freezing.
351
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:52,396
- Are you out of your damn mind?
- You know this band?
352
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:53,936
You know damn well I do.
353
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:56,904
Why do you always...?
Are you trying to get me to like you?
354
00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:58,967
- Pfft. No.
- Good.
355
00:17:59,144 --> 00:18:00,475
Because it ain't working.
356
00:18:00,646 --> 00:18:03,945
You weird, hair-gelled CPR dummy.
357
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,481
- It's pomade.
- Aaaahhh.
358
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:09,883
As long as I'm up here,
does anyone want anything reached?
359
00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:14,615
- Hey. We're Natalie is Freezing.
- Oh, are you Natalie?
360
00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:17,421
I'm Julie. The name of the band
is Natalie is Freezing.
361
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:20,360
Why would anyone in the band
be Natalie? We're artists.
362
00:18:20,532 --> 00:18:23,228
Cool. So our DJ was gonna man
the frozen-yogurt machine.
363
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:26,803
- Is that something you can handle?
- If you do need anything reached...
364
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:28,803
...I've been practicing.
365
00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,205
We like Avatar?
366
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:36,006
In public, yes.
We like things most people like.
367
00:18:36,181 --> 00:18:39,548
- Our job isn't to alienate people.
- We're on the job with my parents?
368
00:18:39,718 --> 00:18:43,017
With everyone, everywhere, all the time.
369
00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:45,349
- You wanted a relationship.
- A real one.
370
00:18:45,524 --> 00:18:48,357
It's real. Do you not think
Honda makes good products?
371
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:51,462
Of course I do.
That's never been remotely in question.
372
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,997
- But why does that mean I like Avatar?
- Because you're not a monster.
373
00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:58,102
Because people don't wanna drive
what a monster drives.
374
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:02,263
Stop the Honda, Rick. Do you hear me?
Use a light press of your foot...
375
00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:05,001
...to engage the highly responsive
anti-lock brakes...
376
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:07,042
...of this incredible vehicle. Now!
377
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:13,015
I wanna be with you, the real you.
378
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:16,643
This is me. This is what I do.
379
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,950
When I influence people
to buy Honda products...
380
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,620
...I feel God's pleasure.
381
00:19:22,928 --> 00:19:24,327
That's from Chariots of Fire.
382
00:19:24,496 --> 00:19:26,964
- I love Chariots of Fire.
- So do I.
383
00:19:28,934 --> 00:19:29,958
Also, we have to.
384
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:33,470
Damn it, Britta.
385
00:19:34,806 --> 00:19:35,830
Oops.
386
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,479
Oh, man. You people are everywhere.
387
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:48,552
- I was looking for a place to hide.
- Don't worry. I'm not gonna bother you.
388
00:19:49,388 --> 00:19:50,446
Okay then.
389
00:19:51,223 --> 00:19:53,384
Give me a gin and tonic.
390
00:19:57,696 --> 00:20:00,563
Your friend, Jeff, booked
Natalie is Freezing for the dance.
391
00:20:00,732 --> 00:20:04,327
What? Tonight? We gotta go.
Why aren't you excited?
392
00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:06,194
I used to date her.
393
00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:09,131
- Natalie?
- Julie.
394
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:11,572
Why would the band's name
be her name? She's an artist.
395
00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:14,871
We listened to them together.
You never said anything about this.
396
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,947
She messed me up.
397
00:20:17,115 --> 00:20:19,481
She messed me up pretty good.
398
00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:22,977
- To forgetting.
- Not gonna toast to that.
399
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,952
- Then forget you too.
- Aw, give me a break.
400
00:20:25,123 --> 00:20:26,215
That's the problem.
401
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:29,258
Everybody's in a rush
to protect themselves from each other.
402
00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:33,524
Sure, yes, you gotta defend
your castle, but you also gotta...
403
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,164
What's that thing that castles have?
404
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:37,802
- Walls?
- Come on.
405
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,029
- A moat?
- It goes over the moat. Goes over.
406
00:20:40,205 --> 00:20:42,673
Enemy knights? Cavalry? Uh, arrows?
407
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:46,242
- No, come on, stop it. Goes like this:
- Alligators?
408
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:49,278
- It's one thing. It's mechanical.
- One mechanical alligator.
409
00:20:49,448 --> 00:20:50,779
Are you screwing with me?
410
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:53,713
- I don't know you're talking about!
- One mechanical thing!
411
00:20:53,885 --> 00:20:56,115
- It goes over the moat! It goes like this:
- A catapult!
412
00:20:56,288 --> 00:20:58,119
- Aah!
- Oh, Jesus! What are you doing?
413
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,918
- Britta. I love you.
- Huh?
414
00:21:01,093 --> 00:21:03,584
I'm gonna quit Honda. I'll get a job, uh...
415
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,957
I... I don't know.
What do regular people do?
416
00:21:07,132 --> 00:21:08,895
Well, they buy things. I'll do that.
417
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:12,403
- For me?
- No, for Honda. Yes, for you.
418
00:21:13,171 --> 00:21:17,039
Normally I would give you a hard time,
but I don't wanna be like this guy.
419
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:21,378
- You're...? You're coming over? Okay.
- I'm coming to you.
420
00:21:21,546 --> 00:21:24,674
- That seems like a really hard way...
- Watch out for this foot.
421
00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:25,908
- Okay.
- Okay.
422
00:21:26,084 --> 00:21:28,211
- Hold on to me. Hold on to me.
- Aah.
423
00:21:28,387 --> 00:21:30,116
- Oh, my God.
- Ha! Oh...
424
00:21:31,990 --> 00:21:33,082
Oh, wow.
425
00:21:33,258 --> 00:21:35,522
- Uh, what do we do now?
- Uh, my school's having a dance.
426
00:21:35,694 --> 00:21:37,889
- My favorite band is playing.
- Let's go.
427
00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:39,792
Okay.
428
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:44,668
A drawbridge. A drawbridge!
429
00:21:54,713 --> 00:21:57,113
You need a drawbridge.
430
00:22:05,857 --> 00:22:07,654
It's Elroy's favorite band too.
431
00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:10,624
I once hallucinated
one of their music videos in his RV.
432
00:22:10,796 --> 00:22:13,629
- That's weird.
- No, the dean can't introduce the band.
433
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:16,996
He's deciding what vehicles to buy
for the Athletic Department.
434
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:19,069
Yeah, he needs a whole fleet.
435
00:22:19,237 --> 00:22:20,898
That's right, a fleet of vehicles.
436
00:22:21,073 --> 00:22:23,803
He just needs to pick a model of car.
He's in his office.
437
00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:26,842
- Did you hear that?
- I heard it, but we're out of the game.
438
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,912
Not yet. We can leave on a high.
439
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:32,812
The dean is a Level 7 Susceptible, Britta.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime feeling.
440
00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:36,886
- You won't believe it.
- I believe it, but I don't need it. Do you?
441
00:22:37,422 --> 00:22:40,050
I'll just do this one last job,
then we'll be free.
442
00:22:44,029 --> 00:22:45,860
Be right back.
443
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:50,391
Guess I'm a Level 7 Susceptible too.
444
00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:11,348
Why do they assume
somebody is named Natalie?
445
00:23:11,523 --> 00:23:14,424
It happens all the time.
Remember when we were in Syracuse...?
446
00:23:14,593 --> 00:23:15,753
Ahem.
447
00:23:16,428 --> 00:23:17,895
- Elroy?
- Julie.
448
00:23:18,563 --> 00:23:22,556
You messed me up. You came after me
because I wasn't interested.
449
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:24,827
You got me interested and I fell hard.
450
00:23:25,003 --> 00:23:27,403
Then you got bored and destroyed me.
451
00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:31,602
And I've been afraid to love anybody
for 20 years since. But not anymore.
452
00:23:31,777 --> 00:23:33,438
- Okay.
- I still love you.
453
00:23:33,612 --> 00:23:36,604
But I'm not gonna keep hurting others
just because you hurt me.
454
00:23:36,782 --> 00:23:38,579
- Fine.
- Fine.
455
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:41,014
That's you.
That's my impression of you.
456
00:23:41,186 --> 00:23:42,778
You jaded hipster a-hole.
457
00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:44,683
I still love your music.
458
00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:47,289
Have a great gig.
459
00:23:47,459 --> 00:23:49,654
Elroy, I'm tired of playing this game.
460
00:23:49,828 --> 00:23:52,956
I like you and I want you to like me.
461
00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:55,766
Huh... Okay.
462
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:59,293
You're a good guy, Jeff Winger.
You and I are gonna be friends.
463
00:23:59,738 --> 00:24:01,933
- Okay, great. Whatever.
- I love you.
464
00:24:02,641 --> 00:24:03,767
I love you.
465
00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:05,933
I love you.
466
00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:08,838
I love you, I love you, I love you...
467
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:10,806
- Pfft.
- Pfft.
468
00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:17,979
Sorry, Britta.
469
00:24:22,194 --> 00:24:23,218
Britta...
470
00:24:23,395 --> 00:24:26,523
...did you know your boyfriend
was guerilla marketing for Honda?
471
00:24:27,532 --> 00:24:30,831
I knew he represented something
I wanted to buy.
472
00:24:31,002 --> 00:24:32,162
I did good, Frankie.
473
00:24:32,337 --> 00:24:34,396
- Didn't I do good?
- Yes.
474
00:24:34,573 --> 00:24:36,040
Good dean.
475
00:24:36,208 --> 00:24:37,800
Smart dean.
476
00:24:38,743 --> 00:24:40,677
He'll be fine.
477
00:24:41,012 --> 00:24:44,812
- But he can never come back here.
- I understand.
478
00:24:48,820 --> 00:24:52,517
Of course,
if you want to come with us...
479
00:24:52,691 --> 00:24:54,750
Because you are good.
480
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,323
I had nothing to do with it.
481
00:24:57,496 --> 00:25:01,296
The 2015 Honda CR-V sells itself.
482
00:25:01,466 --> 00:25:06,267
That's why it's this year's
Motor Trend Sport/Utility of the Year.
483
00:25:19,184 --> 00:25:22,085
Oh, my. Where did he go?
484
00:25:23,889 --> 00:25:24,913
Thank you.
485
00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:27,048
Thank you.
486
00:25:27,893 --> 00:25:31,329
I know all of you know this next one.
487
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,423
"Pillar of Garbage!" Whoo!
488
00:25:43,775 --> 00:25:45,299
I think this song is about me.
489
00:25:46,945 --> 00:25:48,207
Or heroin. Oh, who cares?
490
00:26:35,093 --> 00:26:36,458
So now I ask a question?
491
00:26:36,628 --> 00:26:38,459
- Mom does. We answer it.
- What am I?
492
00:26:38,630 --> 00:26:40,495
- A rabbit.
- Obviously you can't do that.
493
00:26:40,665 --> 00:26:43,031
You can't ask what you are.
Mom, change your ears.
494
00:26:43,201 --> 00:26:45,601
Okay, sweetie.
You didn't say that before.
495
00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:49,431
- Ask Mom a question about your ears.
- I can't see my ears.
496
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,940
- That's why you're asking.
- What are my ears?
497
00:26:52,110 --> 00:26:53,941
No. Like, "Am I an animal?"
498
00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:56,603
Well, yes. You are. And so are you.
499
00:26:56,781 --> 00:26:59,306
Britta, whatever happened to Rick?
500
00:26:59,484 --> 00:27:01,577
- Oh, my God.
- Okay, okay.
501
00:27:01,753 --> 00:27:03,118
Ships in the night, I guess.
502
00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:06,485
Why would you ask that? I came here
because Rick and I broke up.
503
00:27:06,658 --> 00:27:09,218
I know. I just thought maybe
something had changed.
504
00:27:09,394 --> 00:27:12,830
- While I was sitting here?
- Well, these days, with all the apps...
505
00:27:12,998 --> 00:27:14,363
Play the game.
506
00:27:14,532 --> 00:27:17,330
All right,
which friend of ours collects me?
507
00:27:17,502 --> 00:27:20,164
- Joanne Shoenbuchner.
- I'm elephants.
508
00:27:20,338 --> 00:27:21,430
- Yes.
- How did...?
509
00:27:21,606 --> 00:27:23,335
- Am I an animal?
- Oh, not by a long shot.
510
00:27:23,508 --> 00:27:24,736
Oh, ho...
511
00:27:24,909 --> 00:27:28,174
- Do I work in your office?
- Mom.
512
00:27:28,346 --> 00:27:29,472
Nathan in Accounts Receivable.
513
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,640
Not his first wife, his second,
who made cake for Memorial Day.
514
00:27:32,817 --> 00:27:35,684
- Am I Mr. Spock? Ah! Ha-ha-ha!
- Yes, you are. That's it.
515
00:27:35,854 --> 00:27:39,346
- I love this game. This is fun.
- I know. Where's...? What...? Ugh!
516
00:27:42,794 --> 00:27:45,319
I think we did something wrong.
517
00:27:46,698 --> 00:27:48,667
I know we did, Deb.
518
00:27:52,500 --> 00:28:00,500
Ripped By mstoll