1
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<i>Previously on</i>
The Last Man on Earth...

2
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Phil's been missing for about

3
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<i>24 hours.</i>

4
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This guy belong to you?

5
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- Oh, my God.
- That guy's handsome.

6
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- I like you.
- Yeah, but you don't love me.

7
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I'm Phil, Phil Miller.

8
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No, I'm Phil Miller.

9
00:00:14,252 --> 00:00:16,353
Maybe you should both go
by your middle names.

10
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- Phil, what's your middle name?
- Tandy.

11
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- Tandy?
- <i> Carol?</i>

12
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Do you like this guy? You jealous?

13
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Of course not.

14
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Good night... Tandy.

15
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<i>Wow.</i>

16
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I'm blown away.

17
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So, why's it living up here now?

18
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Phil.

19
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So new, so naive.

20
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She wandered up here on her own.

21
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And any real cattleman knows
that a cow can't go down stairs.

22
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Shoot, you can make a cow
do just about anything

23
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if you show her who's boss.

24
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Hyah! Hyah! Get! Get! Get!

25
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She's going down the stairs!

26
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- What?
- Wow!

27
00:00:53,391 --> 00:00:54,592
Well, all it takes is a firm slap

28
00:00:54,593 --> 00:00:56,327
and an authoritative tone, you can make

29
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a cow do whatever you want.

30
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Doesn't just work on cows, hon.

31
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Come on, let's go after her.

32
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- Okay.
- Go ahead.

33
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Thank you so much, Phil.

34
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That was amazing.

35
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Oh, you're welcome.

36
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Friggin' Phil.

37
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Friggin' Phil.

38
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- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -

39
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What's all this?

40
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Oh, Phil built it for the cow.

41
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Isn't it nice?

42
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Oh, yeah, I'm sure she loves it, you know.

43
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She provides milk to us and in return,

44
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we thank her by locking her
up like Charles Manson.

45
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So, uh... how was your little trip

46
00:01:39,938 --> 00:01:41,438
over to see Phil last night?

47
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Ooh! Someone's jealous!

48
00:01:44,909 --> 00:01:45,943
Carol, please.

49
00:01:45,944 --> 00:01:47,244
It's me... the Tandyman.

50
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I'm not the jealous type.

51
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Admit it!

52
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You're afraid that the new buck in town

53
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is gonna spray all over your turf.

54
00:01:53,985 --> 00:01:55,686
Carol, look around you!

55
00:01:55,687 --> 00:01:57,921
Every inch of this place is already covered

56
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in layers and layers of Tandy Miller spray.

57
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You see it, I've doused it.

58
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And he knows that.

59
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Well, I think Phil's gonna
be a very positive addition

60
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- to our community.
- Eh...

61
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He said he's even gonna
clean out the garbage pool.

62
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So, what... then we just
have an empty pool?

63
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Where we gonna put all our garbage?

64
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I'm sure he has a plan.

65
00:02:16,107 --> 00:02:17,641
Why don't you ask him?

66
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Maybe I'll do that. Where is he?

67
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He's over at Frick and Frack's house.

68
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They asked him to help fix
their broken generator.

69
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Oldest trick in the book.

70
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Maybe I ought to go lend a
hand on fixing that generator.

71
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Yeah, I can't find anything
wrong with this thing.

72
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It seems to be working just fine.

73
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Well, that's weird,

74
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because it was making this horrible,

75
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- horrible sound.
- Yeah.

76
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- It was like Hong...
- Hong clang.

77
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- Hong clang, Hong clang.
- Hong clang, yeah.

78
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- Just a real gumbo of sounds.
- Hello!

79
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Did someone call for a
generator repair backup?

80
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Because the Tandyman is in the hizzy.

81
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In the house.

82
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No need, Tandy. Phil already fixed it.

83
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I didn't do anything.

84
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Great. Well, let me just
double-check his work.

85
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Okay, let's see what we got here.

86
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- Hey, Carol.
- Oh, hi.

87
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Thanks so much for the pie.

88
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- Oh.
- You know, I haven't had

89
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fresh food in two years.

90
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Oh, you know, if it's

91
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food you're after, I can make you

92
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a real home-cooked meal.

93
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'Cause I used to be a chef.

94
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Oh, wow.

95
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But nothing too fancy.

96
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I'm a simple guy.

97
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Oh, I am... I'm a simple girl.

98
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- So we have that in common.
- Yeah.

99
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Not as simple as me, though.

100
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They used to call me Simple Gail.

101
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Oh.

102
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Don't sell yourself short, Gail.

103
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You're an incredibly complex woman.

104
00:03:30,682 --> 00:03:32,483
No, no. I'm not.

105
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So, Phil...

106
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Uh, so where you gonna live?

107
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,154
I don't know. I...

108
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I haven't found anything yet.

109
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Well, you know, uh, this
cul-de-sac's pretty full,

110
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but there are a lot of great
houses on the outskirts of town.

111
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Phoenix is beautiful, too.

112
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Oh, nonsense! You could just stay here.

113
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We have plenty of room here.

114
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So, so much room.
You should move in with us.

115
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- Well...
- You know, now that you got

116
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the gall-dang cow out of my house,

117
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I'm all alone... and divorced.

118
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So I have plenty of room.

119
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Yeah, um...

120
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Got yourself a real

121
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Sophie's Choice here, Phil.

122
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But I got a housing option
that might just help you, huh?

123
00:04:05,684 --> 00:04:07,251
Bro it the hell out!

124
00:04:07,252 --> 00:04:09,019
Move in with me, huh?

125
00:04:09,020 --> 00:04:10,821
A little bachelor pad action.

126
00:04:10,822 --> 00:04:12,056
We got the weight bench.

127
00:04:12,057 --> 00:04:13,424
We can spot each other.

128
00:04:13,425 --> 00:04:15,059
Well, uh, let me, um...

129
00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:16,427
Don't you want to be my friend?

130
00:04:16,428 --> 00:04:20,030
Come on, choose this Sophie.

131
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- Sure, yeah. Let's do it.
- Hmm?

132
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Yeah, do it, yeah. Uh...

133
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Okay.

134
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- Ah... yeah.
- Yeah!

135
00:04:29,441 --> 00:04:31,508
Great. Thanks, ladies.

136
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Broken generator.

137
00:04:35,513 --> 00:04:37,514
Nice try.

138
00:04:44,122 --> 00:04:46,090
What's all this?

139
00:04:48,126 --> 00:04:50,127
Hey!

140
00:04:50,128 --> 00:04:52,563
Hey! Look at this, huh?

141
00:04:52,564 --> 00:04:55,299
You got a class B commercial
license to operate this thing?

142
00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:56,567
I do.

143
00:04:56,568 --> 00:04:58,802
I-I was just kidding, but...

144
00:04:58,803 --> 00:05:00,137
good for you.

145
00:05:00,138 --> 00:05:02,406
I picked this up to handle
the garbage pool situation.

146
00:05:02,407 --> 00:05:04,475
You-you need any help or...?

147
00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:05,576
Nah, we're good.

148
00:05:05,577 --> 00:05:06,844
"We"?

149
00:05:06,845 --> 00:05:07,945
Take it easy, Tom.

150
00:05:07,946 --> 00:05:09,079
It's Todd.

151
00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:10,180
All right, Tom.

152
00:05:10,181 --> 00:05:11,915
It's Todd!

153
00:05:11,916 --> 00:05:13,651
Faster!

154
00:05:13,652 --> 00:05:15,486
Hey, Todd!

155
00:05:18,490 --> 00:05:20,491
Frickin' Phil.

156
00:05:23,895 --> 00:05:24,928
There you are.

157
00:05:24,929 --> 00:05:25,929
Tandy. Hey.

158
00:05:25,930 --> 00:05:27,331
Hey.

159
00:05:27,332 --> 00:05:29,633
Trust you've had a chance
to take a look around, huh?

160
00:05:29,634 --> 00:05:31,969
- I did. Yeah. To...
- Good, good.

161
00:05:31,970 --> 00:05:33,203
Obviously,<i> mi casa es su casa.</i>

162
00:05:33,204 --> 00:05:34,338
That goes without saying.

163
00:05:34,339 --> 00:05:36,407
Uh, if you ever want to
have any guests over,

164
00:05:36,408 --> 00:05:38,175
just run it by me... standard stuff.

165
00:05:38,176 --> 00:05:40,311
Anyway, toilet paper's under the sink.

166
00:05:40,312 --> 00:05:42,079
Got about a million
toothbrushes under there, too.

167
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:43,314
- All different sizes.
- Uh-huh.

168
00:05:43,315 --> 00:05:45,182
I'm a large to extra-large.

169
00:05:45,183 --> 00:05:46,517
Wait, what the heck is that?

170
00:05:46,518 --> 00:05:48,118
Oh, you know, riding around
in the garbage truck

171
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sort of inspired me to build this.

172
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- Oh.
- The flash heater

173
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connects to the water reservoir.

174
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I jacked up the water pressure.

175
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Basically, it feels like a shower.

176
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Oh.

177
00:05:58,730 --> 00:06:00,364
Good for you. All right.

178
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I'm gonna... I'm gonna take a shower.

179
00:06:19,484 --> 00:06:20,851
Can you excuse me?

180
00:06:20,852 --> 00:06:22,553
I'm gonna jump in the shower now.

181
00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,154
Right now.

182
00:06:24,155 --> 00:06:26,156
Oh, yeah. Of course.

183
00:06:28,593 --> 00:06:30,261
You okay?

184
00:06:30,262 --> 00:06:32,062
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

185
00:06:39,019 --> 00:06:41,821
Five... six!

186
00:06:41,822 --> 00:06:43,222
All right.

187
00:06:43,223 --> 00:06:45,357
So, hey, what do you guys think?

188
00:06:45,358 --> 00:06:46,792
Huh? And be honest.

189
00:06:46,793 --> 00:06:48,360
This is a good body, right?

190
00:06:48,361 --> 00:06:50,996
I mean, I don't have that
weird V thing that he does

191
00:06:50,997 --> 00:06:53,365
that kind of points your
eyes down to your business.

192
00:06:53,366 --> 00:06:55,134
But these snakes can bite, huh?

193
00:06:55,135 --> 00:06:56,702
Oh, speaking of snakes...

194
00:06:56,703 --> 00:06:59,004
what do you think of this bad boy?

195
00:06:59,005 --> 00:07:00,840
Huh? It's fine, right?

196
00:07:00,841 --> 00:07:03,109
I know it's not gonna win any penis awards.

197
00:07:03,110 --> 00:07:04,276
But there aren't penis awards.

198
00:07:04,277 --> 00:07:06,212
So, whatever, you know?

199
00:07:06,213 --> 00:07:08,280
And the thing is, as with many Ferraris,

200
00:07:08,281 --> 00:07:11,317
the real show is on the back end.

201
00:07:11,318 --> 00:07:13,252
Not bad, huh?

202
00:07:13,253 --> 00:07:15,254
Hey, who does this guy think he is, huh?

203
00:07:15,255 --> 00:07:16,822
He's taken my name.

204
00:07:16,823 --> 00:07:18,257
He's stealing all my chores.

205
00:07:18,258 --> 00:07:20,559
And-and now, just stripping down

206
00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:22,561
in front of me, in my own house?

207
00:07:22,562 --> 00:07:24,096
He's trying to establish dominance.

208
00:07:24,097 --> 00:07:26,165
That's a statement move right there.

209
00:07:26,166 --> 00:07:29,602
And I have to respond in kind.

210
00:07:29,603 --> 00:07:31,270
You got this! You look good!
You got a fine bod!

211
00:07:31,271 --> 00:07:34,206
You can do this! You can do this!

212
00:07:34,207 --> 00:07:36,208
Ha!

213
00:07:38,612 --> 00:07:40,379
Phil...

214
00:07:41,948 --> 00:07:44,417
What are you doing, Tandy?

215
00:07:44,418 --> 00:07:47,503
Ah, you know, uh, just going
about my customary business

216
00:07:47,504 --> 00:07:48,587
in my own house.

217
00:07:48,588 --> 00:07:50,422
Huh, why don't you go put some clothes on?

218
00:07:50,423 --> 00:07:53,192
Well, isn't that the
pot calling the kettle black...

219
00:07:53,193 --> 00:07:54,727
Or, uh... African-American.

220
00:07:54,728 --> 00:07:56,061
Or, uh... American.

221
00:07:56,062 --> 00:07:58,597
What are you trying to say?

222
00:07:58,598 --> 00:08:01,033
Well, you took
off your shirt yesterday.

223
00:08:01,034 --> 00:08:03,235
And now suddenly being
shirtless is a crime?

224
00:08:03,236 --> 00:08:04,970
I was about to take a shower.

225
00:08:04,971 --> 00:08:06,272
Well, I was about to take a shower, too.

226
00:08:06,273 --> 00:08:07,706
That's what I came to tell you.

227
00:08:07,707 --> 00:08:08,741
So, we're even.

228
00:08:08,742 --> 00:08:10,376
Well, now-now I know.

229
00:08:10,377 --> 00:08:12,111
- Now you know.
- Now I know.

230
00:08:12,112 --> 00:08:13,746
Now you know! Ha!

231
00:08:13,747 --> 00:08:14,814
Hey, guys!

232
00:08:14,815 --> 00:08:16,215
Hey... Oh, my God!

233
00:08:17,217 --> 00:08:18,417
Erica, g'day!

234
00:08:18,418 --> 00:08:19,618
G'day!

235
00:08:19,619 --> 00:08:20,953
I'm sorry, if I'd known you were coming,

236
00:08:20,954 --> 00:08:22,154
I would've tucked it in.

237
00:08:22,155 --> 00:08:23,889
Oh, I kind of thought you already did.

238
00:08:23,890 --> 00:08:25,925
As if.

239
00:08:25,926 --> 00:08:27,593
I know you didn't think that.

240
00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,361
But I love that old Australian sass.

241
00:08:29,362 --> 00:08:30,563
Well...

242
00:08:30,564 --> 00:08:32,431
uh, I will get out of your hair.

243
00:08:32,432 --> 00:08:34,300
And your bald head, uh...

244
00:08:34,301 --> 00:08:36,302
Oh, look! The U.S. Constitution.

245
00:08:36,303 --> 00:08:37,503
Been meaning to frame that.

246
00:08:37,504 --> 00:08:39,305
We the people!

247
00:08:43,844 --> 00:08:45,845
- Hey.
- Hey.

248
00:08:45,846 --> 00:08:49,115
You have a good time with the garbage man?

249
00:08:49,116 --> 00:08:50,961
Todd, come on.

250
00:08:50,962 --> 00:08:52,351
Oh, what? It's a simple question.

251
00:08:52,352 --> 00:08:54,286
Riding on the back of that truck,

252
00:08:54,287 --> 00:08:55,888
wind in your hair, hooting and hollering.

253
00:08:55,889 --> 00:08:57,757
Looked like you were having a great time.

254
00:08:57,758 --> 00:09:00,126
- I was just helping Phil.
- Oh, yeah?

255
00:09:00,127 --> 00:09:02,561
And I've always wanted to ride
on the back of a garbage truck.

256
00:09:02,562 --> 00:09:04,897
Don't...

257
00:09:04,898 --> 00:09:06,932
hang out with him.

258
00:09:06,933 --> 00:09:08,601
What?!

259
00:09:08,602 --> 00:09:10,269
If this relationship is gonna work,

260
00:09:10,270 --> 00:09:13,139
you can't hang out with him.

261
00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:15,307
I...

262
00:09:15,308 --> 00:09:17,309
I forbid it.

263
00:09:17,310 --> 00:09:20,212
Todd, this has got to stop.

264
00:09:20,213 --> 00:09:22,214
Look, I've had a really
nice time with you and I...

265
00:09:22,215 --> 00:09:23,516
Whoa! You know what?

266
00:09:23,517 --> 00:09:25,451
I know how that sentence is gonna end.

267
00:09:25,452 --> 00:09:27,386
And I'll beat you to it.

268
00:09:27,387 --> 00:09:28,654
We're done, Melissa.

269
00:09:28,655 --> 00:09:30,856
I dump you, okay?

270
00:09:30,857 --> 00:09:33,092
That's not what I was going to say.

271
00:09:33,093 --> 00:09:35,628
But... fine.

272
00:09:35,629 --> 00:09:37,229
- Bye, Todd.
- No, wait! What...?

273
00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:39,098
What were you gonna say?

274
00:09:39,099 --> 00:09:41,300
What were you gonna say?!

275
00:09:43,370 --> 00:09:44,403
- Almost.
- Come on!

276
00:09:44,404 --> 00:09:46,705
- Almost.
- Yup, right there!

277
00:09:46,706 --> 00:09:48,240
Knock, knock?

278
00:09:48,241 --> 00:09:49,475
Hey.

279
00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:50,810
What's going on here?

280
00:09:50,811 --> 00:09:52,978
Phil and I are just trying to
get this icemaker working.

281
00:09:52,979 --> 00:09:54,980
Well...

282
00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:57,717
I don't mean to interrupt.
I just wanted to bring you

283
00:09:57,718 --> 00:09:59,485
these hush puppies I made you.

284
00:09:59,486 --> 00:10:01,287
Simple food.

285
00:10:01,288 --> 00:10:02,822
Much appreciated.

286
00:10:02,823 --> 00:10:04,557
See, it's funny how sweaty you can get

287
00:10:04,558 --> 00:10:07,026
working on an<i> ice</i> machine.

288
00:10:08,462 --> 00:10:09,962
That's funny.

289
00:10:12,199 --> 00:10:13,532
Yeah, well,

290
00:10:13,533 --> 00:10:15,034
if you ladies will excuse me,

291
00:10:15,035 --> 00:10:16,502
I'm gonna go take a hot shower.

292
00:10:16,503 --> 00:10:17,536
What?

293
00:10:17,537 --> 00:10:19,505
You figured out how to get hot showers?

294
00:10:19,506 --> 00:10:21,073
I sure did.

295
00:10:21,074 --> 00:10:23,175
Y'all are welcome to use
it anytime you want to.

296
00:10:23,176 --> 00:10:25,344
Well, I might just take
you up on that offer

297
00:10:25,345 --> 00:10:29,014
'cause I am very, very dirty.

298
00:10:29,015 --> 00:10:31,217
Okay. Yeah, sure.

299
00:10:31,218 --> 00:10:33,686
What's, what's that, Carol?

300
00:10:33,687 --> 00:10:37,957
Oh, just a dumb scarf I made you.

301
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:39,925
It gets drafty in this house.

302
00:10:39,926 --> 00:10:41,060
For me?

303
00:10:41,061 --> 00:10:42,728
Let me see... that's not dumb.

304
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,697
It's beautiful, look at that.

305
00:10:44,698 --> 00:10:46,866
What a set of crafty hands you got.

306
00:10:48,001 --> 00:10:49,135
Wow.

307
00:10:49,136 --> 00:10:51,871
Speaking of crafty hands,
what's that there?

308
00:10:51,872 --> 00:10:53,139
Are those little kitties?

309
00:10:53,140 --> 00:10:54,407
Yeah.

310
00:10:54,408 --> 00:10:55,941
I'm a cat man, myself.

311
00:10:55,942 --> 00:10:57,777
- Love cats.
- So cute.

312
00:10:57,778 --> 00:10:58,844
Yeah.

313
00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:01,914
Thanks for the scarf.

314
00:11:05,519 --> 00:11:07,520
Well played, Carol.

315
00:11:07,521 --> 00:11:09,121
Well played.

316
00:11:11,191 --> 00:11:14,527
So now I see that exposing
my genitals to Phil

317
00:11:14,528 --> 00:11:16,429
was just a massive misfire.

318
00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:18,264
Well, how could you have known?

319
00:11:18,265 --> 00:11:20,700
So, uh, what'd you want
to talk to me about, bud?

320
00:11:20,701 --> 00:11:22,702
Oh, nothing, other than
blowing the best thing

321
00:11:22,703 --> 00:11:24,036
that ever happened to me.

322
00:11:24,037 --> 00:11:26,372
Melissa and I broke up
less than three hours ago,

323
00:11:26,373 --> 00:11:28,374
and I'm already in a kind of free fall.

324
00:11:28,375 --> 00:11:30,109
Don't know where the bottom is...

325
00:11:30,110 --> 00:11:31,744
cow.

326
00:11:31,745 --> 00:11:33,446
Hey, Todd, hey, hey.

327
00:11:33,447 --> 00:11:36,449
Don't put this on yourself.
This is all Phil's fault, okay?

328
00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:38,250
You're good, you're fine, all right?

329
00:11:38,251 --> 00:11:39,452
Look at you.

330
00:11:39,453 --> 00:11:41,087
You look like a million bucks.

331
00:11:41,088 --> 00:11:42,254
Ah, thanks, man.

332
00:11:44,024 --> 00:11:45,558
Hey, do you think I'm being paranoid,

333
00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,893
or do you think Phil really
wants to sleep with Melissa?

334
00:11:47,894 --> 00:11:49,729
Todd, don't worry.

335
00:11:50,831 --> 00:11:52,498
He definitely wants to sleep with Melissa.

336
00:11:52,499 --> 00:11:53,632
And everyone else here.

337
00:11:53,633 --> 00:11:55,835
Hell, I'm not even sure the cow's safe.

338
00:11:55,836 --> 00:11:58,070
And I'm sorry you had to hear that, girl.

339
00:11:59,106 --> 00:12:01,273
He's a monster.

340
00:12:03,377 --> 00:12:05,378
Attention, everyone.

341
00:12:05,379 --> 00:12:08,147
Here's some trash talk
that I can get behind.

342
00:12:08,148 --> 00:12:10,316
The garbage pool is clean.

343
00:12:10,317 --> 00:12:12,651
Thanks to Phil.

344
00:12:12,652 --> 00:12:15,588
And that definitely doesn't stink.

345
00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:18,024
I see what you did there.

346
00:12:18,025 --> 00:12:19,125
Thank you.

347
00:12:19,126 --> 00:12:20,459
That was cute.

348
00:12:25,132 --> 00:12:26,932
Bravo.

349
00:12:26,933 --> 00:12:28,167
Thanks, Tandy.

350
00:12:28,168 --> 00:12:30,903
- No, I really mean it.
- I never questioned that.

351
00:12:30,904 --> 00:12:32,938
Good, 'cause it was unquestionable.

352
00:12:34,274 --> 00:12:36,042
Do you have a problem with me?

353
00:12:36,043 --> 00:12:37,910
- No, I don't.
- 'Cause it seems like you do.

354
00:12:37,911 --> 00:12:39,679
Well, maybe that's 'cause I do.

355
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:41,414
What's your problem with me?

356
00:12:41,415 --> 00:12:44,617
Oh, you friggin' come in here
and try to impress everybody

357
00:12:44,618 --> 00:12:46,285
with all your skills that pay the bills.

358
00:12:46,286 --> 00:12:48,154
But deep down, you're jealous.

359
00:12:48,155 --> 00:12:50,256
Jellin' so hard right now.

360
00:12:50,257 --> 00:12:52,091
I got no beef with you, Tandy.

361
00:12:52,092 --> 00:12:55,695
That's President Tandy to you.

362
00:12:55,696 --> 00:12:57,630
Okay, I think we've had enough
of this president crap.

363
00:12:57,631 --> 00:13:00,433
Oh, so you think the American
system of government is crap.

364
00:13:00,434 --> 00:13:02,468
No, I think the fact that you
think you're president is crap.

365
00:13:02,469 --> 00:13:03,869
And we didn't even get to vote.

366
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,204
It's not fair.

367
00:13:05,205 --> 00:13:07,173
Yes, it is, and even if it wasn't,

368
00:13:07,174 --> 00:13:08,841
none of you seem to be interested

369
00:13:08,842 --> 00:13:10,176
in the responsibility.

370
00:13:10,177 --> 00:13:12,812
So unless any of you want
to get off your butts

371
00:13:12,813 --> 00:13:14,480
and throw your hats in the ring,

372
00:13:14,481 --> 00:13:16,282
looks like you're stuck with little old me.

373
00:13:17,317 --> 00:13:18,951
Well, I'd throw my hat in the ring.

374
00:13:18,952 --> 00:13:21,187
You want to
be the president, huh?

375
00:13:21,188 --> 00:13:23,823
No, no, no, I just don't want
you to be the president.

376
00:13:26,159 --> 00:13:27,493
Well, great.

377
00:13:27,494 --> 00:13:30,096
Well, the next vote is
in-in four years, so...

378
00:13:30,097 --> 00:13:31,664
I say we revote right now.

379
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,734
Well, I would like to give a speech.

380
00:13:34,735 --> 00:13:36,736
No speeches, all in favor
of Phil being president,

381
00:13:36,737 --> 00:13:38,070
raise your hand.

382
00:13:41,541 --> 00:13:43,009
Carol.

383
00:13:43,010 --> 00:13:45,645
Well, looks like we have a new president.

384
00:13:55,563 --> 00:13:56,563
Speech! Speech!

385
00:13:56,564 --> 00:13:57,564
Oh, no, no.

386
00:13:57,565 --> 00:13:58,565
I don't have anything to say.

387
00:13:58,566 --> 00:14:02,102
Well, I-I guess I should ask.

388
00:14:02,103 --> 00:14:04,738
Why did you guys choose to live in Tucson?

389
00:14:04,739 --> 00:14:07,040
I mean, no offense, but in this new world,

390
00:14:07,041 --> 00:14:09,643
Tucson is pretty much the worst
place to sustain human life.

391
00:14:09,644 --> 00:14:11,979
Hey, Tucson is my hometown,

392
00:14:11,980 --> 00:14:14,948
and I will not hear it
be slandered like that.

393
00:14:14,949 --> 00:14:16,950
Wonderful universities, great zoo;

394
00:14:16,951 --> 00:14:18,618
multiple periodicals have named it

395
00:14:18,619 --> 00:14:20,287
one of the top ten places to retire.

396
00:14:20,288 --> 00:14:23,190
- Okay.
- Multiple periodicals, not just one.

397
00:14:23,191 --> 00:14:26,609
- Don't get me wrong...
- We're here, Mr. President,

398
00:14:26,610 --> 00:14:29,527
because Tandy, here, had
the good sense to put up

399
00:14:29,528 --> 00:14:31,355
those "Alive in Tucson" signs,

400
00:14:31,356 --> 00:14:33,600
so we should all be thanking him.

401
00:14:34,903 --> 00:14:36,570
All right, no disrespect to Tucson,

402
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,672
- but I'm talking about farming.
- Yes.

403
00:14:38,673 --> 00:14:40,841
- Growing fresh foods.
- Fantastic.

404
00:14:40,842 --> 00:14:43,210
- Water.
- That's what I've been saying.

405
00:14:43,211 --> 00:14:44,545
That's why I planted my own garden,

406
00:14:44,546 --> 00:14:45,812
but it's just not enough.

407
00:14:45,813 --> 00:14:47,814
Uh, thanks a lot, Mr. President.

408
00:14:47,815 --> 00:14:50,117
Or should I say "Mr. Spoiler Alert"?

409
00:14:50,118 --> 00:14:51,418
What are you talking about, Tandy?

410
00:14:51,419 --> 00:14:54,788
My surprise, which this
guy just spoil-alerted.

411
00:14:55,857 --> 00:14:57,190
I've made us a farm,

412
00:14:57,191 --> 00:14:59,159
a viable, sustainable, working farm.

413
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:00,160
I did that.

414
00:15:00,161 --> 00:15:01,662
Nope. No, you didn't.

415
00:15:01,663 --> 00:15:03,330
Uh, I sure did, Melissa.

416
00:15:03,331 --> 00:15:05,832
Uh, I found some good
forgivable Tucson land,

417
00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:08,135
and I plowed it, I raked it, I tilled it,

418
00:15:08,136 --> 00:15:10,571
I sewed it, I farmed it.

419
00:15:10,572 --> 00:15:12,239
And that was gonna be a big
surprise come harvest,

420
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:13,907
till this guy ruined it.

421
00:15:13,908 --> 00:15:15,209
With his big mouth.

422
00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:17,277
Can we take a look at it, your farm?

423
00:15:17,278 --> 00:15:19,346
Yeah, let's go.

424
00:15:19,347 --> 00:15:20,848
- Let-let's do it.
- Let's go right now.

425
00:15:20,849 --> 00:15:22,349
- Let's go right now.
- Right... Oh, shoot.

426
00:15:22,350 --> 00:15:24,384
Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot.

427
00:15:24,385 --> 00:15:26,119
It's late, and, uh, you know,

428
00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:28,789
dark and cold... The
plants are, uh, resting.

429
00:15:28,790 --> 00:15:29,990
What about first thing in the morning?

430
00:15:31,025 --> 00:15:32,359
First thing in the morning...

431
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,461
as early as we can do it, yeah.

432
00:15:34,462 --> 00:15:35,796
Good.

433
00:15:35,797 --> 00:15:37,464
First thing come morn,

434
00:15:37,465 --> 00:15:41,468
we'll go see... my farm.

435
00:15:45,306 --> 00:15:46,640
Come on.

436
00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:48,308
Come on, be a tractor.

437
00:15:48,309 --> 00:15:50,143
Be a tractor for me.

438
00:15:50,144 --> 00:15:51,745
I need some kind of key or...?

439
00:15:51,746 --> 00:15:53,714
Oh, something happened.

440
00:15:53,715 --> 00:15:56,250
Oh! Oh!

441
00:15:56,251 --> 00:15:58,252
Nothing.

442
00:15:58,253 --> 00:15:59,386
Damn it.

443
00:16:00,722 --> 00:16:02,055
Come on...!

444
00:16:07,795 --> 00:16:09,396
You know what they say.

445
00:16:09,397 --> 00:16:11,565
Bros before hoes.

446
00:16:11,566 --> 00:16:13,500
Boom. I still got it.

447
00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:38,091
<i>Cock a doodle doo!</i>

448
00:16:38,092 --> 00:16:40,761
Tandy Farms is open for business!

449
00:16:40,762 --> 00:16:43,897
- Who wants to go see a genuine farm...?
- Tandy... Tandy.

450
00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:46,099
Todd, what's the matter?

451
00:16:46,100 --> 00:16:48,469
It's Phil, new Phil.

452
00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:49,803
What happened? What did he do?

453
00:16:49,804 --> 00:16:51,004
He had sex with them.

454
00:16:51,005 --> 00:16:52,706
Sex with who?

455
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,808
All of 'em.

456
00:16:54,809 --> 00:16:57,311
He had sex with all of 'em!

457
00:16:58,346 --> 00:17:01,482
Oh, Tandy...!

458
00:17:06,957 --> 00:17:08,624
Carol, I cannot believe you.

459
00:17:08,625 --> 00:17:10,727
Have you no morals?

460
00:17:10,728 --> 00:17:11,894
What are you talking about?

461
00:17:11,895 --> 00:17:13,563
Oh, you know what I'm talking about.

462
00:17:13,564 --> 00:17:15,898
Hey, uh, Carol, where are the other two?

463
00:17:15,899 --> 00:17:18,234
Oh, they headed home, but
they say "thank you."

464
00:17:18,235 --> 00:17:20,470
We all had a wonderful time.

465
00:17:20,471 --> 00:17:21,871
Oh, my God.

466
00:17:21,872 --> 00:17:23,639
That was amazing.

467
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:25,908
What is happening here?!

468
00:17:25,909 --> 00:17:27,210
So you ready to go check out your farm?

469
00:17:27,211 --> 00:17:30,146
Haven't you done enough
plowing for one day?

470
00:17:30,147 --> 00:17:32,856
- I can't believe I got to take a shower.
- Yeah.

471
00:17:32,857 --> 00:17:34,050
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

472
00:17:34,051 --> 00:17:35,918
A shower.

473
00:17:37,087 --> 00:17:38,588
Oh, my God... private individual showers.

474
00:17:38,589 --> 00:17:39,789
That's all you were doing?

475
00:17:40,991 --> 00:17:42,325
Nobody else. No...

476
00:17:42,326 --> 00:17:43,993
Like, s-same-sex showers.

477
00:17:43,994 --> 00:17:45,328
One person at a time.

478
00:17:45,329 --> 00:17:47,297
You were nowhere there to be, uh, seen?

479
00:17:48,632 --> 00:17:49,966
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.

480
00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:51,301
This is all making sense to me.

481
00:17:51,302 --> 00:17:52,835
<i>Made</i> sense to me,
that's what I thought.

482
00:17:52,836 --> 00:17:55,538
You know, just Todd had
said that you had all done,

483
00:17:55,539 --> 00:17:56,739
uh, something else.

484
00:17:56,740 --> 00:17:59,742
Well, Todd's been wrong about
a lot of stuff lately.

485
00:17:59,743 --> 00:18:01,144
Bye.

486
00:18:02,346 --> 00:18:04,180
So... farm.

487
00:18:04,181 --> 00:18:05,248
Yeah.

488
00:18:05,249 --> 00:18:06,616
- Let's go.
- Yeah, sure.

489
00:18:07,851 --> 00:18:09,919
Just friends taking showers,

490
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:12,922
individually, toweling off on their own,

491
00:18:12,923 --> 00:18:15,658
coming out, joining each other
once they're fully clothed.

492
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:19,595
Nice job, Tandy, this
is a really good start.

493
00:18:19,596 --> 00:18:20,797
So what'd you plant?

494
00:18:20,798 --> 00:18:23,099
Ah, you know... the necessities.

495
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:26,202
Everything from, uh, fruits to veggies.

496
00:18:26,203 --> 00:18:27,937
Good work.

497
00:18:27,938 --> 00:18:29,505
Yeah.

498
00:18:29,506 --> 00:18:32,508
Look, I'm sorry, uh,
things got a little tense

499
00:18:32,509 --> 00:18:33,977
between us this week.

500
00:18:33,978 --> 00:18:35,311
Uh, looking at what you did,

501
00:18:35,312 --> 00:18:37,313
I realize I may have been off base.

502
00:18:37,314 --> 00:18:38,815
- Yeah?
- Yeah.

503
00:18:40,017 --> 00:18:42,018
Yeah... you're welcome.

504
00:18:42,019 --> 00:18:44,754
You know, I-I just want to say I feel like

505
00:18:44,755 --> 00:18:46,423
you caught me on a weird week.

506
00:18:46,424 --> 00:18:47,424
That's for sure.

507
00:18:47,425 --> 00:18:48,458
Yeah, when you showed up,

508
00:18:48,459 --> 00:18:50,093
I kind of reared up on my haunches

509
00:18:50,094 --> 00:18:51,661
and let out a little warning roar.

510
00:18:51,662 --> 00:18:52,996
It's pure animal instinct.

511
00:18:52,997 --> 00:18:53,997
You feel me, Philbert?

512
00:18:53,998 --> 00:18:54,998
Oh, I feel you.

513
00:18:54,999 --> 00:18:56,332
Yeah.

514
00:18:56,333 --> 00:18:58,001
So we cool?

515
00:18:58,002 --> 00:18:59,335
We way cool.

516
00:18:59,336 --> 00:19:01,004
Mondo cool.

517
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,644
<i> I wish you guys had
been there to see it.</i>

518
00:19:07,645 --> 00:19:09,979
He was so impressed with me.

519
00:19:09,980 --> 00:19:12,315
I mean, we really reached an understanding.

520
00:19:12,316 --> 00:19:15,318
And, sure, for a while, we
were like two alpha dogs

521
00:19:15,319 --> 00:19:17,320
baring our teeth, and peeing everywhere

522
00:19:17,321 --> 00:19:18,822
to mark our territory,

523
00:19:18,823 --> 00:19:20,123
but it came out a draw.

524
00:19:20,124 --> 00:19:22,659
As often happens in the animal kingdom.

525
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:24,127
Bottom line...

526
00:19:24,128 --> 00:19:25,795
He respects me.

527
00:19:25,796 --> 00:19:28,131
You know, he knows this is my land.

528
00:19:28,132 --> 00:19:30,233
And he knows not to step on my turf.

529
00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:34,137
Hello.

530
00:19:36,006 --> 00:19:37,340
You changed your nails up?

531
00:19:37,341 --> 00:19:38,675
Different cats.

532
00:19:38,676 --> 00:19:39,976
I like it.

533
00:19:41,412 --> 00:19:42,412
You noticed.

534
00:19:42,413 --> 00:19:43,747
Yeah.

535
00:19:43,748 --> 00:19:45,448
Scarf looks good.

536
00:19:47,551 --> 00:19:48,885
You noticed.

537
00:19:55,159 --> 00:19:56,826
Respect.

538
00:19:56,827 --> 00:19:59,496
This is Tandy Land, and he knows it.

539
00:19:59,497 --> 00:20:02,165
He smells the spray, he's
trying to tip-toe through it.

540
00:20:02,166 --> 00:20:04,167
But it's all over his feet and legs.

541
00:20:04,168 --> 00:20:06,069
Poor guy.

542
00:20:06,070 --> 00:20:08,171
Mmm, Phil.

543
00:20:08,172 --> 00:20:10,173
Oh, there you go, you big camper.

544
00:20:10,174 --> 00:20:12,175
Oh, now put the food in the bear box.

545
00:20:12,176 --> 00:20:13,610
The food's in the box, baby.

546
00:20:13,611 --> 00:20:15,578
Put it high up in the tree so
the bears can't get to it.

547
00:20:15,579 --> 00:20:17,380
It's in the tree, it's high up there.

548
00:20:17,381 --> 00:20:19,182
- Yeah, it is.
- Way out of reach.

549
00:20:19,183 --> 00:20:22,018
Put a log on the fire, get
those mosquitoes away, Phil!

550
00:20:22,019 --> 00:20:24,054
- Can't stand those damn mosquitoes!
- Get 'em out!

551
00:20:24,055 --> 00:20:25,722
Oh, Phil!

552
00:20:25,723 --> 00:20:27,390
I want a s'more right now!

553
00:20:27,391 --> 00:20:28,391
To Carol.

554
00:20:28,392 --> 00:20:30,060
To Carol.

555
00:20:30,061 --> 00:20:32,529
That luck B-word.

556
00:20:32,530 --> 00:20:33,696
Oh, I want chocolate.

557
00:20:33,697 --> 00:20:35,031
What kind of chocolate do you want?

558
00:20:35,032 --> 00:20:36,633
- I want the darkest chocolate!
- The darkest chocolate!

559
00:20:36,634 --> 00:20:38,968
Yeah, Phil Miller!

560
00:20:38,969 --> 00:20:41,471
Oh...!

561
00:20:41,472 --> 00:20:42,706
Oh, you've camped before.

562
00:20:42,707 --> 00:20:44,708
I love camping...

563
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:55,919
We got to kill this guy.

564
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:59,107
I'm in.

565
00:20:59,108 --> 00:21:01,758
- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -

