1
00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:05,339
At 60% less fat and 20%
less price, the only thing

2
00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:10,358
Kolb Family's Family Pack Ham
Packs don't have less of is flavor.

3
00:00:10,483 --> 00:00:12,475
Haaaaaaaaa'aaam, gurrrrl!.

4
00:00:12,600 --> 00:00:14,559
Family pack ham packs,
from Kolb Family Farms,

5
00:00:14,684 --> 00:00:16,391
the family that's
pleased to meat you.

6
00:00:16,557 --> 00:00:19,271
Haaaaaaaaa'aaam, gurrrrl!

7
00:00:19,396 --> 00:00:21,674
You don't know his name,
but you know what he says,

8
00:00:21,799 --> 00:00:23,607
and you love how he says it.

9
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,934
Haaaaaaam gurl!

10
00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:29,029
Haaaaaaam gurl!

11
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:30,864
Haaaaaaam gurl!

12
00:00:31,030 --> 00:00:33,938
So, who is the man
who started it all?

13
00:00:34,063 --> 00:00:37,162
Ben Chang, and we have
him here with us today.

14
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,081
You are the Ham Girl guy.

15
00:00:40,182 --> 00:00:41,886
Yes, I am the Ham Girl guy.

16
00:00:42,011 --> 00:00:43,168
How did this happen?

17
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:46,463
Well, I just kept auditioning,
you know, kept working hard.

18
00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:47,391
And now?

19
00:00:47,516 --> 00:00:48,715
Spielberg is calling.

20
00:00:49,453 --> 00:00:53,017
Not you know,
I don't go by phone calls.

21
00:00:53,142 --> 00:00:54,313
I go by contracts.

22
00:00:54,438 --> 00:00:58,261
But Spielberg is interested in you
for The Color Blue.

23
00:00:58,386 --> 00:01:00,163
In the new Play Dough movie,
is that right?

24
00:01:00,288 --> 00:01:01,503
Maybe, you know, maybe.

25
00:01:01,628 --> 00:01:06,066
But like I always say, you know,
life is a roller coaster.

26
00:01:06,232 --> 00:01:09,152
You were a teacher at a
community college in Colorado.

27
00:01:09,318 --> 00:01:10,153
- Did you just...
- True.

28
00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,909
One day in class say, class dismissed,
I'm headed to Hollywood?

29
00:01:13,034 --> 00:01:15,659
I mean,
how did your students react to that?

30
00:01:15,825 --> 00:01:18,126
Well, you know, I haven't
spoken to them, really.

31
00:01:20,092 --> 00:01:22,374
- There's not much for me back there.
- No friends?

32
00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,583
You know, I was kind of a loner.

33
00:01:26,112 --> 00:01:27,790
People, you know,
made fun of me for it,

34
00:01:27,915 --> 00:01:31,014
but I just kept my head down
and stayed focused on my work.

35
00:01:31,139 --> 00:01:33,360
Well they're making fun
of you now, are they?

36
00:01:33,485 --> 00:01:34,928
No, they are not.

37
00:01:35,094 --> 00:01:36,263
Can I get a Ham Girl?

38
00:01:36,479 --> 00:01:39,558
Haaaaaaaaa'aaam, gurrrrl!

39
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:40,976
You know, I don't know if that was...

40
00:01:41,142 --> 00:01:43,632
And there it is,
ladies and gentlemen,

41
00:01:43,757 --> 00:01:47,024
from community college to
something a little bit better.

42
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,062
Turn it off.

43
00:01:48,187 --> 00:01:50,861
Ben Chang is on a rocket
ship to eternal validation.

44
00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,612
Turn it off.

45
00:01:52,778 --> 00:01:54,578
Thank's so much for being.

46
00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,099
Well it's been three weeks.
I'm having his car towed.

47
00:02:28,272 --> 00:02:30,984
Resync for WEB-DL by Kyros
www.addic7ed.com

48
00:02:34,095 --> 00:02:35,088
To Chang.

49
00:02:35,213 --> 00:02:37,449
May your success be brief,
and your colds last months.

50
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:38,304
Jeff.

51
00:02:38,429 --> 00:02:39,747
Hey, get out of Greendale,

52
00:02:39,872 --> 00:02:41,620
or you get me in your corner,
you don't get both.

53
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:42,454
Ham, girl.

54
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:45,373
Who would have predicted
Chang becoming famous?

55
00:02:45,539 --> 00:02:47,912
Technically, I did, remember?
Only, I thought it would be for...

56
00:02:48,037 --> 00:02:49,211
Eating someone, yeah.

57
00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:52,506
You think that Spielberg
stuff is really happening?

58
00:02:52,672 --> 00:02:56,117
How could that happen?
That would mean the world was insane.

59
00:02:57,863 --> 00:02:59,971
Haaaaaaaaa'aaam, gurrrrl!

60
00:03:00,137 --> 00:03:03,423
Not to be crass, but there is
an upside to this, financially.

61
00:03:03,999 --> 00:03:07,187
Chang's absence lowers
our insurance premiums 6%.

62
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:10,399
There's nothing
but upsides to him leaving.

63
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,418
I think we all just feel
a little short changed.

64
00:03:12,543 --> 00:03:15,348
We invested so much in
him when no one else would.

65
00:03:15,473 --> 00:03:19,241
Because we all assumed he was so insane
he would die if we kicked him out.

66
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:23,268
This whole time it turns
out we were holding him back.

67
00:03:23,393 --> 00:03:24,810
We thought he was bedrock.

68
00:03:24,935 --> 00:03:28,208
But it turns out he was the
ceiling of a cavern filled with us.

69
00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,032
I have already forgotten his name.

70
00:03:30,541 --> 00:03:32,744
Did you ever really know his name?

71
00:03:33,321 --> 00:03:34,687
The Chinese fellow, right?

72
00:03:34,812 --> 00:03:36,433
Whose name was some kind of noise?

73
00:03:36,558 --> 00:03:37,840
Clang, bang, merengue.

74
00:03:37,965 --> 00:03:40,111
Looks like I'm the only one
who's not glad he's gone.

75
00:03:40,236 --> 00:03:42,055
At least I can finally clear
some space in my hard drive.

76
00:03:42,221 --> 00:03:44,136
Oh, Leonard's been in there
for a while,

77
00:03:44,261 --> 00:03:46,538
but I can stand guard if you
wanna use the women's room.

78
00:03:47,299 --> 00:03:49,896
No, I mean, I was shooting a movie
with Chang before he booked Ham Girl.

79
00:03:51,188 --> 00:03:53,567
I haven't heard from him since,
so I assume the footage is useless.

80
00:03:54,528 --> 00:03:56,844
- Did he sign a release form?
- Sure.

81
00:03:56,969 --> 00:03:58,866
I make all my actors sign
releases before we do anything.

82
00:03:58,991 --> 00:04:00,449
You never know who is going to.

83
00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,620
The school owns a movie
starring the Ham Girl guy.

84
00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:07,330
Soon to be Spielberg's Ham Girl guy.

85
00:04:08,789 --> 00:04:10,417
There's no way to finish it, though.

86
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,419
What have I told you about quitting?

87
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,567
That it's sometimes
the only way to survive.

88
00:04:15,169 --> 00:04:17,949
Well, don't forget I said sometimes.

89
00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:22,131
Yolanda, the mayor's up my ass.

90
00:04:22,256 --> 00:04:23,840
I want justice.

91
00:04:23,965 --> 00:04:25,265
Get him in here!

92
00:04:27,542 --> 00:04:29,311
Is that right?
Should I be angry?

93
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:30,831
The film's hero is police justice.

94
00:04:30,956 --> 00:04:32,856
I had a real life former cop
help me with the dialogue.

95
00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,316
I'm gonna punch you in the heart.

96
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,234
Real life former cops
aren't great with dialogue.

97
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,195
I don't think police
should be heroes.

98
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,529
Britta, pay your rent.

99
00:04:40,123 --> 00:04:42,200
Sorry, Abed.
Okay, I need more information.

100
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,440
What's my motivation?

101
00:04:43,565 --> 00:04:44,610
Am I married?

102
00:04:44,735 --> 00:04:46,008
I need more to go on.

103
00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:47,579
- Can we get lunch?
- Okay, cut.

104
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:48,722
That's about all we got.

105
00:04:48,847 --> 00:04:50,860
Chang found out the McRib was back
and we lost the rest of the day.

106
00:04:50,985 --> 00:04:52,500
Great actor, huge McRib problem.

107
00:04:53,536 --> 00:04:54,669
Everybody.

108
00:04:54,835 --> 00:04:58,423
This is my friend
I told you about, Maury.

109
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,675
He's a genuine Hollywood
film producer

110
00:05:00,841 --> 00:05:03,500
whose doctor ordered him to live
in Colorado due to a medical condition.

111
00:05:03,625 --> 00:05:04,625
Tell them what you told me.

112
00:05:04,750 --> 00:05:06,246
My blood nitrogen
levels are through the roof.

113
00:05:06,371 --> 00:05:08,424
- Most of the time, I can't...
- Oh, no, no the other thing.

114
00:05:08,549 --> 00:05:09,550
Oh, right.

115
00:05:09,675 --> 00:05:11,765
If you can cut together
an 81 minute movie

116
00:05:11,890 --> 00:05:13,714
that arguably stars the Ham Girl guy,

117
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:15,982
I can guarantee distribution
and a fast turnaround deal.

118
00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:19,043
People do it all the time with old
footage from recently famous actors.

119
00:05:19,168 --> 00:05:22,906
Have you seen Vin Diesel
in 1996's Happy Pants?

120
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:23,823
No.

121
00:05:23,989 --> 00:05:25,227
Well, neither has Vin Diesel,

122
00:05:25,352 --> 00:05:28,828
but his roommate from film
school saw 500 grand.

123
00:05:28,994 --> 00:05:31,122
But, I can't just
burn up my cop drama.

124
00:05:31,288 --> 00:05:32,799
It's my only chance at the mainstream
success I need

125
00:05:32,924 --> 00:05:34,640
before I'm allowed to make
weird stuff for money.

126
00:05:34,765 --> 00:05:36,361
It's my American Graffiti,
my Elephant Man, my Four Rooms,

127
00:05:36,486 --> 00:05:37,796
the Robert Rodriguez segment.

128
00:05:38,384 --> 00:05:41,508
Why does it have to be a police movie?
People don't even like police now.

129
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,391
They like dinosaurs, they like aliens

130
00:05:43,516 --> 00:05:45,428
and anything else that Chris
Pratt can join forces with.

131
00:05:45,976 --> 00:05:47,162
I have three minutes of footage.

132
00:05:47,287 --> 00:05:48,942
He's clearly a police chief
behind a desk in New York.

133
00:05:49,067 --> 00:05:49,806
Is he?

134
00:05:49,931 --> 00:05:51,518
Or is it Space York,
or is it a dinosaur desk?

135
00:05:51,963 --> 00:05:54,229
How do I know?
Just add some CG.

136
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:55,871
That's what they do with Chris Pratt.

137
00:05:55,996 --> 00:05:58,942
They put in him a regular scene,
and then they add some Gagoos.

138
00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:01,504
I have a few CG
models of some Gagoos.

139
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,890
I got fired from a
mouthwash commercial,

140
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:07,062
but I successfully won back the
rights to my gingivitis monster.

141
00:06:07,774 --> 00:06:12,074
Also, I don't know if it helps, but,
when I moved into my RV, I found this.

142
00:06:12,557 --> 00:06:14,249
Now, that,
you notice anything strange?

143
00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,866
There's no green three in billiards.

144
00:06:17,991 --> 00:06:21,236
Now, there's a green six and a green
fourteen, but never a green three.

145
00:06:21,655 --> 00:06:24,549
So, what sport is this from?

146
00:06:25,176 --> 00:06:27,262
And why was it in my RV?

147
00:06:30,087 --> 00:06:32,809
Anyway I...
I can do some CG for the movie.

148
00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,445
You'll need a Chris Pratt type.

149
00:06:34,570 --> 00:06:36,187
I'll do it if I have to.
I can slouch.

150
00:06:36,353 --> 00:06:38,142
I can't believe you guys are
the ones pitching me this,

151
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,482
and I can't believe I'm saying no.

152
00:06:39,762 --> 00:06:41,312
You're not saying no.

153
00:06:41,437 --> 00:06:43,528
I mean, legally, I can't force you.

154
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:46,448
But, I can do a morning announcement
that will make everyone hate you forever.

155
00:06:46,614 --> 00:06:49,262
Technically, Abed, you would
be robbing the school

156
00:06:49,387 --> 00:06:51,745
for half a million dollars
by not making this movie.

157
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,506
- But, what movie?
- Have you not been listening?

158
00:06:54,631 --> 00:06:56,238
The movie about the Ham Girl guy,

159
00:06:56,363 --> 00:06:58,404
in his space office
fighting some Gagoos,

160
00:06:58,529 --> 00:07:01,657
led by Chris Pratt type,
played by Jeffrey without his shirt.

161
00:07:01,782 --> 00:07:03,212
It shoots this weekend.

162
00:07:03,337 --> 00:07:04,341
- Yeah.
- Yeah?

163
00:07:04,950 --> 00:07:07,427
Okay, but I get final cut,
and it has to be a good movie.

164
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:10,305
Agreed, but you have to finish that
cut by Monday, even if it's bad.

165
00:07:10,471 --> 00:07:12,515
I agree to that, but it has
to be good by my standards.

166
00:07:12,681 --> 00:07:15,558
Absolutely, and also, if it's
terrible, nobody will notice or care.

167
00:07:15,683 --> 00:07:17,812
You guys are all gonna help me?
And we're gonna make a good movie?

168
00:07:17,978 --> 00:07:20,399
Definitely, or a bad one.
Probably a bad one.

169
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:21,941
I think we're all on the same page.

170
00:07:22,107 --> 00:07:23,193
Yeah.
I guess so.

171
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:24,569
Good.

172
00:07:24,735 --> 00:07:26,727
So, let's crap out
this piece of crap.

173
00:07:27,488 --> 00:07:28,698
That attitude concerns me.

174
00:07:36,297 --> 00:07:38,002
I need more information.

175
00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:43,412
What's my motivation?

176
00:07:54,650 --> 00:07:56,200
I need more to go on.

177
00:07:57,214 --> 00:08:00,938
My name is Chief Star,
and I am in the stars.

178
00:08:01,417 --> 00:08:03,075
And I am the hero.

179
00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,756
I deserve better.

180
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:08,863
You're a very gifted pilot,
Chief Star.

181
00:08:11,133 --> 00:08:14,202
I'm the mayor of outer space.
Why are we changing course?

182
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:15,781
The mayor is up my ass.

183
00:08:15,906 --> 00:08:18,081
Father, I love him.

184
00:08:22,139 --> 00:08:23,253
What in the space?

185
00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:24,754
Yooba dooba dooba.

186
00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:25,963
We're under attack.

187
00:08:26,130 --> 00:08:27,632
By whom, Glip Glop?

188
00:08:28,336 --> 00:08:30,409
- Okay, cut.
- Why are we cutting?

189
00:08:30,534 --> 00:08:31,886
That felt good to me.
Moving on?

190
00:08:32,466 --> 00:08:34,822
- Just a couple of adjustments.
- Ugh, you get two.

191
00:08:35,512 --> 00:08:38,038
You {*guys }need to move when the ship gets hit.
It looks weird when you stand still.

192
00:08:38,163 --> 00:08:40,103
And Britta, it sounds weird
when you use good grammar.

193
00:08:40,269 --> 00:08:41,855
My character can't have good grammar?

194
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,148
Not in a space battle.

195
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,337
Because everything else we're saying
sounds really natural.

196
00:08:45,462 --> 00:08:47,026
- Like, I'm a Space Senator.
- Space Mayor.

197
00:08:47,192 --> 00:08:48,945
I'm matching your dialogue
to what I have from Chang.

198
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:49,960
What are my lines?

199
00:08:50,085 --> 00:08:51,406
You don't have any lines.
You're the back of Chang.

200
00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:53,032
But we have Chang's footage.

201
00:08:53,198 --> 00:08:54,912
This shot from that angle
matches the back of Chang's shot.

202
00:08:55,037 --> 00:08:56,791
Chang is Chief Star.
He's the pilot of the spaceship.

203
00:08:56,916 --> 00:08:58,538
- Britta, you're Princess Meridian.
- Brittana.

204
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:01,726
Jeff is her father, the Mayor of Space,
and you guys are under attack.

205
00:09:01,851 --> 00:09:02,667
Action!

206
00:09:04,787 --> 00:09:06,463
What in the space?

207
00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:07,755
Yooba dooba dooba.

208
00:09:07,921 --> 00:09:09,156
We're under attack.

209
00:09:09,741 --> 00:09:10,624
Okay, cut.

210
00:09:10,749 --> 00:09:13,219
- Where are you guys seeing Glip Glop?
- That Glip Glop was a tennis ball.

211
00:09:13,385 --> 00:09:14,637
But, Garrett's not Glip Glop.

212
00:09:14,803 --> 00:09:18,183
If I was Glip Glop, why would I be
holding a tennis ball on a stick?

213
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,353
Why am I wearing a blouse?

214
00:09:19,478 --> 00:09:20,977
It's Sci-fi, it doesn't matter.

215
00:09:21,143 --> 00:09:23,623
Please don't say that.
I know you don't mean that.

216
00:09:23,748 --> 00:09:26,941
The tennis ball is Glip Glop, and
please stumble in the same direction.

217
00:09:27,107 --> 00:09:28,193
Go! Action.
Bang.

218
00:09:30,078 --> 00:09:31,613
What in space?

219
00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:33,948
Gooba, gooba, gooba.
We're under attack!

220
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:35,232
Who by?

221
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:36,457
Who attack?

222
00:09:36,582 --> 00:09:37,952
Me princess.

223
00:09:38,118 --> 00:09:39,370
The Sporborfians!

224
00:09:44,346 --> 00:09:46,408
Okay, I'm ready.

225
00:09:46,533 --> 00:09:47,545
Are you ready?

226
00:09:50,339 --> 00:09:51,216
Rolling.

227
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:54,469
Are we rolling?

228
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:55,762
We'recrolling!

229
00:10:05,327 --> 00:10:07,398
Get to the escape pod.

230
00:10:07,564 --> 00:10:09,275
Really?
You picked that outfit?

231
00:10:10,098 --> 00:10:11,736
It's Meridian.
Keep going.

232
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:12,708
Insane.

233
00:10:12,833 --> 00:10:14,739
And, what is your name, Exploitia?

234
00:10:15,019 --> 00:10:18,756
Scorpio Nine, I'm a pleasure droid.

235
00:10:18,881 --> 00:10:21,538
- No, I'm an assassin?
- You're both, keep going.

236
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,676
She was a pleasure droid.
She got turned into an assassin.

237
00:10:23,801 --> 00:10:25,917
She's my other daughter.
That's your sister.

238
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:27,733
Get to the escape pods.

239
00:10:28,336 --> 00:10:29,783
And then, then we go.

240
00:10:29,908 --> 00:10:30,797
This way.

241
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:34,035
Check on Chief Star, Jeff.

242
00:10:34,948 --> 00:10:35,885
Chief Star?

243
00:10:36,051 --> 00:10:36,927
What?

244
00:10:37,052 --> 00:10:38,602
I'll see you in hell.

245
00:10:39,294 --> 00:10:40,098
What?

246
00:10:40,463 --> 00:10:42,832
Mayor, your ass is grass.

247
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:44,685
Okay, cut.

248
00:10:50,281 --> 00:10:53,528
- There are some things that we could...
- Okay. Moving on, people.

249
00:10:56,071 --> 00:10:57,240
Okay, moving on.

250
00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,703
Next shot,
space station faculty lounge.

251
00:10:59,828 --> 00:11:00,993
Thank you.

252
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:03,036
Abed, we need to move
a little faster I think.

253
00:11:03,161 --> 00:11:05,498
- Can I{* just} explain something as a filmmaker?
- I wish you wouldn't.

254
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:07,245
I wish you would look at
what I was wearing,

255
00:11:07,370 --> 00:11:09,322
and let that be all
the explanation you need

256
00:11:09,447 --> 00:11:11,000
about where are standards should be.

257
00:11:11,125 --> 00:11:13,548
But, do you understand that sci-fi
films aren't usually improvised

258
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:16,063
over a weekend with a cast
and crew that doesn't care?

259
00:11:16,188 --> 00:11:18,116
We care about finishing.

260
00:11:18,557 --> 00:11:20,013
And, this has to be
finished by Monday.

261
00:11:20,349 --> 00:11:22,557
So, you're back into a
level of quality from there.

262
00:11:23,286 --> 00:11:25,786
Let me use a metaphor
I can understand.

263
00:11:25,911 --> 00:11:27,103
Every day, I work out.

264
00:11:27,269 --> 00:11:28,021
- Really?
- Yes.

265
00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:32,473
Because I'm not an artist like you,
but this is a kind of canvas.

266
00:11:32,598 --> 00:11:36,321
I work on it with equipment,
but I will never really be done.

267
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:39,407
- You could be if you wanted, I mean...
- This will never be done.

268
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:42,744
Chris Pratt's never gonna stop, is he?
He'll always be out there mocking me.

269
00:11:42,910 --> 00:11:44,024
So, I can never stop.

270
00:11:44,149 --> 00:11:46,560
Just like you'll never
stop making movies.

271
00:11:46,685 --> 00:11:49,733
But, I don't stay on one
treadmill my entire life,

272
00:11:49,858 --> 00:11:52,086
staring at commercials for
movies with Chris Pratt.

273
00:11:52,252 --> 00:11:54,505
I take my work into the world.

274
00:11:54,671 --> 00:11:58,134
I premiere it,
I share with the public.

275
00:11:58,300 --> 00:12:00,111
Don't stay in the gym, Abed.

276
00:12:00,236 --> 00:12:02,912
Get this session done, get out
there and get your shirt off.

277
00:12:03,037 --> 00:12:04,891
- Got it?
- Yes?

278
00:12:05,641 --> 00:12:06,643
Yes!

279
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,898
Ready, let's do this.

280
00:12:32,948 --> 00:12:35,797
I understand you are looking for
your friends.

281
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:36,631
Yeah.

282
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,383
I am Minotaur Man.

283
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:39,425
What?

284
00:12:39,591 --> 00:12:41,941
Friends are hard to come by in space.

285
00:12:42,842 --> 00:12:44,097
You'd better take this...

286
00:12:45,613 --> 00:12:46,974
for protection.

287
00:12:50,394 --> 00:12:53,134
The sound you hear coming
from the gun I gave you

288
00:12:53,259 --> 00:12:55,971
is 40,000 hyper watts of laser.

289
00:12:57,529 --> 00:12:59,696
Oh, don't worry about that.
I can put that back.

290
00:13:00,158 --> 00:13:03,074
Sometimes my eye falls off
because I mean, I'm a robot.

291
00:13:04,130 --> 00:13:04,992
Watch out!

292
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:22,550
How about this bar, everyone
here is so accustomed to violence.

293
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,452
I need, any no...

294
00:13:25,577 --> 00:13:27,056
Where your friends are?

295
00:13:27,222 --> 00:13:27,932
Yeah.

296
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:29,600
I'm sorry,
but you're not gonna like this.

297
00:13:29,766 --> 00:13:32,448
Your friends have been taken
prisoner by Master...

298
00:13:32,573 --> 00:13:35,606
Master Dracula.

299
00:13:44,145 --> 00:13:45,631
Wild West baby.

300
00:13:45,756 --> 00:13:47,857
Space version of the Wild West.

301
00:13:50,495 --> 00:13:51,496
Cut.

302
00:13:53,938 --> 00:13:54,939
Okay.

303
00:13:55,709 --> 00:13:58,337
My eye fell off, but I covered it.

304
00:14:09,592 --> 00:14:11,212
Perfect.
Moving on, hallway.

305
00:14:11,337 --> 00:14:12,338
Yes!

306
00:14:19,164 --> 00:14:20,485
Take that!

307
00:14:22,634 --> 00:14:24,280
This is crazy.

308
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,490
Here.

309
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:26,781
Let me do this.

310
00:14:26,906 --> 00:14:28,166
What are you doing?

311
00:14:28,291 --> 00:14:31,287
You make everything harder
for all women when you do that.

312
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,705
I'm improvising.

313
00:14:32,871 --> 00:14:34,123
Improvise pockets.

314
00:14:34,289 --> 00:14:36,834
Pay your rent, or shut up.

315
00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:42,423
Laser bomb!

316
00:14:54,726 --> 00:14:57,563
Yooba Dooba dooba, Glip Glop like.

317
00:14:58,012 --> 00:14:59,601
Yooba Dooba dooba.

318
00:14:59,726 --> 00:15:01,194
Yooba Dooba dooba.

319
00:15:01,319 --> 00:15:02,944
Yooba Dooba dooba.

320
00:15:05,529 --> 00:15:07,156
So the robot also says yooba dooba.

321
00:15:08,365 --> 00:15:09,624
I'm not complaining.

322
00:15:09,749 --> 00:15:12,328
It's just that everyone who's not
a person is saying "Yooba Dooba.".

323
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:14,789
Maybe it's because I'm a spy.

324
00:15:15,719 --> 00:15:17,208
He's a spy.

325
00:15:17,374 --> 00:15:18,876
I'm an evil spy.

326
00:15:19,397 --> 00:15:20,837
Shoot Glip Glop's he's a spy.

327
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:24,715
Glop Glop's a spy?

328
00:15:24,881 --> 00:15:26,181
We went with it.

329
00:15:27,467 --> 00:15:28,870
Okay shot.

330
00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:29,791
Shot.

331
00:15:29,916 --> 00:15:32,181
Okay now that now that he's dead

332
00:15:32,347 --> 00:15:35,433
and there's one robot left
let's go to the thing.

333
00:15:35,558 --> 00:15:36,352
Go.

334
00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:38,017
Yooba Dooba dooba.

335
00:15:38,142 --> 00:15:39,730
Yooba Dooba dooba.

336
00:15:39,896 --> 00:15:40,982
Yooba Dooba dooba.

337
00:15:53,021 --> 00:15:54,496
Space garbage.

338
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,121
Look!

339
00:15:57,377 --> 00:15:58,624
We're gonna get crushed.

340
00:15:59,085 --> 00:16:01,127
And is there a monster?

341
00:16:04,796 --> 00:16:06,591
But so what?
We're gonna get crushed.

342
00:16:09,443 --> 00:16:10,731
I love you?

343
00:16:10,856 --> 00:16:11,721
I love you.

344
00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:14,172
- That's your daughter.
- You're my daughter.

345
00:16:14,297 --> 00:16:16,350
Yeah and you said we were sisters,
dumb ass.

346
00:16:16,516 --> 00:16:19,263
It's hot.
It's like Chinatown in space.

347
00:16:24,145 --> 00:16:25,443
And I'm the hero?

348
00:16:27,281 --> 00:16:28,195
Let's do this.

349
00:16:28,361 --> 00:16:29,362
Yeah!

350
00:16:29,988 --> 00:16:31,407
They're saved!

351
00:16:35,243 --> 00:16:36,493
Feel the force.

352
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,171
What?

353
00:16:38,509 --> 00:16:41,209
I don't feel the force.
I'm not allowed to.

354
00:16:41,479 --> 00:16:43,283
What do I feel?

355
00:16:44,865 --> 00:16:46,513
I feel Dracula force.

356
00:16:48,191 --> 00:16:50,208
I feel Dracula signals.

357
00:16:52,420 --> 00:16:54,055
Your ass is mine.

358
00:16:57,432 --> 00:17:00,728
That last stunt you pulled put six
of my best guys in the hospital.

359
00:17:00,894 --> 00:17:01,793
Maniac.

360
00:17:01,918 --> 00:17:03,568
I'm more than a maniac.

361
00:17:04,878 --> 00:17:05,978
I'm Dracula.

362
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,127
Jesus Christ.

363
00:17:22,252 --> 00:17:23,218
Jesus Christ.

364
00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,628
Oh my God,
Jesus Christ they shot him.

365
00:17:27,504 --> 00:17:28,505
Who am I?

366
00:17:29,362 --> 00:17:30,904
What's my motivation?

367
00:17:31,029 --> 00:17:34,971
Why am I doing or saying anything
that I am saying or doing,

368
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:38,248
I need more, I need more
than what I'm getting.

369
00:17:57,035 --> 00:17:59,370
That was incredible.
Congratulations.

370
00:18:00,272 --> 00:18:02,123
- How long is it?
- 87 minutes.

371
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,132
Get it to eight one, that means 81.

372
00:18:05,257 --> 00:18:06,393
I'll make some calls,

373
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,796
we'll premiere this thing,
and we'll get your school a check.

374
00:18:14,505 --> 00:18:16,053
So which six minutes should we cut?

375
00:18:17,652 --> 00:18:19,639
Jeff's death scene probably, right?

376
00:18:19,764 --> 00:18:20,558
Mine?

377
00:18:20,724 --> 00:18:22,518
Yeah, in the space dungeon?
There's no Chang in that.

378
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:24,433
How long is Jeff's death scene?

379
00:18:24,558 --> 00:18:27,148
Yeah, how long is it.
We're really zeroing in on it.

380
00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:29,830
Do you think I'm frightened?

381
00:18:31,125 --> 00:18:34,071
These chains were forged
from the iron of Ganymede.

382
00:18:34,482 --> 00:18:35,614
And the steel...

383
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:42,663
I'm not going
to tell you where he is.

384
00:18:42,829 --> 00:18:44,928
I'd rather die.

385
00:18:46,722 --> 00:18:49,305
It seems pretty important
he doesn't give up Chang.

386
00:18:49,430 --> 00:18:52,256
I mean, otherwise the last thing he
says to him is, I'll see you in Hell.

387
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,427
It's not really a movie about him.

388
00:18:57,256 --> 00:19:00,723
- What about your steel drum solo?
- I don't think we should lose that.

389
00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:03,684
Well, what about the weird wedding
ritual on Glip Glop's planet, huh?

390
00:19:04,114 --> 00:19:05,311
Okay.

391
00:19:05,477 --> 00:19:07,396
Let's not throw out the baby
with the bath water.

392
00:19:07,676 --> 00:19:09,729
We're not getting
a frame of Glip Glop.

393
00:19:09,854 --> 00:19:12,526
I mean, that's like cutting
Cowboy out of Midnight Cowboy.

394
00:19:12,692 --> 00:19:15,821
Jeff's death scene is
six minutes 30 seconds.

395
00:19:15,987 --> 00:19:17,007
There you go.

396
00:19:17,132 --> 00:19:18,449
Okay, cool.
Easy enough.

397
00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,189
Should we, before we finish editing,

398
00:19:21,314 --> 00:19:24,080
should we get those hornets
out of the garbage?

399
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,896
Those swarming hornets.

400
00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:33,092
- Is that serious?
- Is he doing a bit...

401
00:19:34,392 --> 00:19:35,792
That's a long bit.

402
00:19:36,068 --> 00:19:37,236
Oh, he's serious.

403
00:19:37,361 --> 00:19:38,644
Let's face it.

404
00:19:39,001 --> 00:19:41,027
It's pretty obvious when he's acting.

405
00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:46,436
Let's do this.

406
00:19:46,848 --> 00:19:48,383
Yo, yo, yo, howdy.

407
00:19:48,508 --> 00:19:51,153
Welcome to Kyle Beiderman's
editing tutorials.

408
00:19:51,278 --> 00:19:52,454
I'm Kyle Beiderman.

409
00:19:52,579 --> 00:19:54,485
Yeah, that Kyle Beiderman.

410
00:19:55,346 --> 00:19:56,743
Leave me alone, Abed.

411
00:19:56,868 --> 00:19:59,298
Once I've watched this
tutorial on how editing works,

412
00:19:59,423 --> 00:20:02,118
I'm gonna save this movie
without removing its soul.

413
00:20:03,258 --> 00:20:04,303
Step one.

414
00:20:04,428 --> 00:20:06,643
How to correctly label your files.

415
00:20:06,768 --> 00:20:09,750
Nobody cares about labeling
files, teach me to edit.

416
00:20:11,697 --> 00:20:13,167
What the hell was that?

417
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,425
You stay away!
This is my movie too!

418
00:20:18,591 --> 00:20:20,177
It's not even a movie
Jeff, it's a piece of crap.

419
00:20:20,343 --> 00:20:21,679
That doesn't mean it can't be good.

420
00:20:21,845 --> 00:20:23,383
That's basically
exactly what it means.

421
00:20:23,508 --> 00:20:26,058
You stay away Abed.
I'm not kidding.

422
00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:28,403
I'm huge and I have zero blood sugar.

423
00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:31,897
I will kill you in these frisbees
and nobody will ever find you.

424
00:20:32,637 --> 00:20:33,432
Okay.

425
00:20:33,557 --> 00:20:35,359
So now let's get familiar
with the user interface.

426
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,319
No, just teach me to edit.

427
00:20:37,485 --> 00:20:38,445
Bazinga.

428
00:20:42,907 --> 00:20:45,953
I'm going to kill you.

429
00:20:46,119 --> 00:20:48,137
- You're killing me!
- I told you!

430
00:20:48,583 --> 00:20:49,999
You're literally killing me.

431
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,615
- For real?
- Yes!

432
00:20:57,010 --> 00:20:58,160
Are you nuts?

433
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,397
What is wrong with you?

434
00:21:00,522 --> 00:21:03,387
Every single one of you was
gonna leave here except for me.

435
00:21:03,999 --> 00:21:07,324
Troy, Shirley,
Annie's gonna be President.

436
00:21:07,449 --> 00:21:09,099
Even Pierce got to die.

437
00:21:09,683 --> 00:21:11,399
And Chang goes to Hollywood.

438
00:21:11,922 --> 00:21:14,614
So, we force you to make the
crappiest movie of all time,

439
00:21:14,739 --> 00:21:16,406
and then we force you
to make it even crappier.

440
00:21:16,531 --> 00:21:18,594
And we watch it, and it's
still not even that bad.

441
00:21:18,719 --> 00:21:20,446
And the part I accidentally got
the most excited about

442
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:22,392
is the seven minutes we can cut.

443
00:21:23,109 --> 00:21:24,116
Do you know what that means?

444
00:21:24,282 --> 00:21:26,184
It means I'm a genius,
but we already knew that.

445
00:21:26,309 --> 00:21:27,703
I finally know in my heart,

446
00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:31,083
that I will literally be
the last one of us here.

447
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,595
And I know, they gave digital
muscles to Chris Pratt

448
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,133
in Guardians of the Galaxy.

449
00:21:36,258 --> 00:21:37,826
I watch Parks and Rec.
I watched it.

450
00:21:37,951 --> 00:21:40,007
There's no
scientific explanation for...

451
00:21:43,912 --> 00:21:45,572
You helped me learn something
about film making today

452
00:21:45,697 --> 00:21:47,014
that {*I think }we all need to apply to life.

453
00:21:47,449 --> 00:21:50,047
It's okay to plan some stuff, and it's
okay to figure out what we did wrong.

454
00:21:50,172 --> 00:21:51,894
But our plans are randomly
gonna fall apart

455
00:21:52,019 --> 00:21:53,629
and our lessons are randomly
gonna be wrong,

456
00:21:53,754 --> 00:21:56,549
and if we just keep the cameras rolling
and shoot a lot of crap eventually

457
00:21:56,674 --> 00:21:59,151
Annie is going to reach down her shirt
and pull out a laser bomb.

458
00:22:00,263 --> 00:22:02,666
I didn't write that,
we didn't plan that.

459
00:22:03,902 --> 00:22:05,235
God made that happen.

460
00:22:06,021 --> 00:22:07,521
God made this movie,

461
00:22:08,678 --> 00:22:09,878
and it's dumb.

462
00:22:10,427 --> 00:22:11,872
And we're dumb for being in it.

463
00:22:12,585 --> 00:22:15,081
Life is a big, dumb,
pointless movie with no story

464
00:22:15,206 --> 00:22:17,378
and an abrupt ending
where the hero gets shot by Dracula

465
00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:19,664
in the middle of a
lunch order during an outtake.

466
00:22:20,176 --> 00:22:22,383
But somewhere in there,
every once in a while.

467
00:22:22,549 --> 00:22:24,339
Annie reaches down her shirt.

468
00:22:32,643 --> 00:22:35,890
So we keep the cameras rolling, and
we edit out the parts we don't like,

469
00:22:36,015 --> 00:22:38,732
and we stop thinking about Chris Pratt
so much, because it is not healthy.

470
00:22:49,074 --> 00:22:50,035
Will you do me a favor?

471
00:22:50,201 --> 00:22:51,716
I never tell anybody
about our private conversations.

472
00:22:51,841 --> 00:22:52,788
I wouldn't really know how.

473
00:22:52,954 --> 00:22:55,165
Let's cut my stupid scene
out of this piece of crap.

474
00:22:57,542 --> 00:23:00,506
- Then won't we need to add 30 seconds?
- I have an idea about that.

475
00:23:01,504 --> 00:23:02,505
Who am I?

476
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:04,752
What's my motivation?

477
00:23:04,877 --> 00:23:09,045
Why am I doing or saying anything,
I'm saying or doing?

478
00:23:09,170 --> 00:23:10,341
I need more...

479
00:23:10,466 --> 00:23:12,850
I need more than what I'm getting.

480
00:23:19,353 --> 00:23:20,964
Hello Chief Star.

481
00:23:24,819 --> 00:23:27,114
I told you I'd see you in hell.

482
00:23:28,698 --> 00:23:30,462
And look who else is here.

483
00:23:30,587 --> 00:23:31,744
Yooba dooba dooba.

484
00:23:47,876 --> 00:23:50,095
Oh, great job you guys,
on the new ending.

485
00:23:50,261 --> 00:23:53,182
I like that the guy
actually saw him in hell.

486
00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:54,349
Right?

487
00:23:56,059 --> 00:23:59,594
Hold on, phone call
from the distributor,

488
00:24:00,127 --> 00:24:01,946
get ready for a big check.

489
00:24:02,878 --> 00:24:03,879
Yellow.

490
00:24:04,370 --> 00:24:05,232
Wait.

491
00:24:05,357 --> 00:24:06,358
Calm down.

492
00:24:07,464 --> 00:24:08,994
What's chapter 11?

493
00:24:09,119 --> 00:24:09,990
Wait.

494
00:24:10,156 --> 00:24:11,167
What's YouTube?

495
00:24:11,292 --> 00:24:12,534
Wait.
What's broadband?

496
00:24:13,139 --> 00:24:14,203
What's digital?

497
00:24:14,479 --> 00:24:16,403
I don't have a good
feeling about that call.

498
00:24:16,528 --> 00:24:19,112
I don't have a good feeling
about Chang staying bankable.

499
00:24:19,237 --> 00:24:21,162
Did you guys see this news story?

500
00:24:21,287 --> 00:24:23,644
I'll never look at hot air ballooning
the same way again.

501
00:24:24,145 --> 00:24:25,695
Or James Franco's balls.

502
00:24:25,820 --> 00:24:27,305
Oh, no.

503
00:24:28,580 --> 00:24:30,511
I tell you what I do
have a good feeling about.

504
00:24:31,237 --> 00:24:32,262
Bring it in.

505
00:24:41,293 --> 00:24:43,303
All right, one more for safety Ben.

506
00:24:43,428 --> 00:24:45,140
What do you mean,
one more for safety?

507
00:24:45,265 --> 00:24:48,389
I just don't know if we get the line,
hold on Slinky.

508
00:24:48,514 --> 00:24:49,714
Let's move on.

509
00:24:50,216 --> 00:24:52,493
I think...
Can we get one more?

510
00:24:52,618 --> 00:24:54,168
You got it!
Come on!

511
00:24:54,788 --> 00:24:56,144
Hold on, Slinky!

512
00:24:56,269 --> 00:24:57,080
Let's go.

513
00:24:57,205 --> 00:24:59,962
I think it was fine,
but Steven's kind of a stickler.

514
00:25:00,087 --> 00:25:02,356
Tell Steven Spielberg
to lick my butt.

515
00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,878
Well, he's right here, so...

516
00:25:07,236 --> 00:25:08,436
Hey, Steven...

517
00:25:09,433 --> 00:25:10,434
Spielberg.

518
00:25:11,322 --> 00:25:12,737
Can you give us a sec?

519
00:25:13,151 --> 00:25:14,054
Yes.

520
00:25:24,182 --> 00:25:24,982
Ben?

521
00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:25,917
Yep.

522
00:25:26,042 --> 00:25:28,167
So, I guess we're good for today.

523
00:25:28,292 --> 00:25:30,898
Great job, you were right.
We got everything we need.

524
00:25:31,023 --> 00:25:35,107
And, there's a small door in the back,
back of the booth there,

525
00:25:35,232 --> 00:25:37,977
that will take you,
you know, outside.

526
00:25:38,102 --> 00:25:40,069
And, we'll talk soon.

527
00:25:40,194 --> 00:25:41,612
I don't go the way I came?

528
00:25:41,737 --> 00:25:42,762
You do not.

529
00:25:42,887 --> 00:25:46,722
There is a little door back there,
and it goes right on out.

530
00:25:46,847 --> 00:25:48,247
Thank you so much.

531
00:25:48,489 --> 00:25:49,490
Okay.

532
00:25:52,759 --> 00:25:53,760
Okay.

533
00:26:10,064 --> 00:26:12,571
- Okay, Randall, are you ready?
- Yup.

534
00:26:15,822 --> 00:26:20,003
Which brings us to the issue
of our cosmetology department,

535
00:26:20,128 --> 00:26:22,228
who once again, find themselves...

536
00:26:40,246 --> 00:26:43,589
Who, once again, find themselves
nearing the end of the semester

537
00:26:43,714 --> 00:26:47,173
without any free haircut volunteers.

538
00:26:55,558 --> 00:26:59,576
That may be due to last
semester's lice scare.

539
00:26:59,742 --> 00:27:00,821
Totally.

540
00:27:00,946 --> 00:27:01,947
Yep.

541
00:27:04,764 --> 00:27:07,459
Maybe if we put up a sign,
guaranteed no lice.

542
00:27:07,625 --> 00:27:08,794
Something like that.

543
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:10,587
That would open you up to lawsuits.

544
00:27:11,209 --> 00:27:13,307
Son, we live in a world
that has walls,

545
00:27:13,432 --> 00:27:16,176
and those walls have to be guarded
by men with hair clippers.

546
00:27:19,887 --> 00:27:20,937
Pink Floyd.

547
00:27:21,681 --> 00:27:23,350
- You're the worst.
- What?

548
00:27:23,516 --> 00:27:25,235
- Oh, she is the worst.
- Terrible.

549
00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:27,354
- I can't believe she said that.
- Terrible.

550
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:28,770
Name one movie.

551
00:27:29,656 --> 00:27:30,983
Britta's the worst!

552
00:27:41,540 --> 00:27:44,031
Resync for WEB-DL by Kyros
www.addic7ed.com