"Você acha que é melhor
que todo mundo?"
So I go, "well, pretty much,
Yeah," which was just
Me being...
Tori, come on!
Did you not see me fall down
In the parking lot?
Isso foi muito engraçado.
I wasn't trying to be...
Oh, the new play roster!
Segura meu café.
Move.
These are so good.
Don't spill that.
Now, what's so good?
The list of plays
For this semester.
OMG, eu sou perfeita.
For all these.
Is "moonlight magic"
On there?
Yeah, number four, why?
Andre wrote the music for it.
He wants me to try out
For the lead.
Você? Por quê?
Pega seu café e vai.
Oh, somebody fell down
On the wrong side
Of the parking lot.
Precisa de alguma ajuda?
Sim.
Interessante.
And you're saying
That movie's not scary?
No, I'm saying
It's not as scary as tofu.
Why are you always
Rippin' on tofu?
'Cause it tastes like snot.
Hey, olha quem esta aqui.
Hey, can you guys help me?
Sure.
Just keep that over there.
Let's probably get
Some shelves or something.
There we go.
All set.
Thanks.
Never put me down
Like that again.
I was helping Tori.
Get the gum off my forehead.
All right,
My locker is filled.
I feel complete.
Whoa, whoa, not yet.
What?
You gotta customize it.
Everyone at hollywood arts
Has to customize their locker.
Well, what'd you do for yours?
I made a mosaic using
All of the baby bottle nipples
From my childhood.
They remind me
Of a happier time.
Yours?
Check it out.
Follow those dreads.
Hey, Andre, Robbie!
That squirrel's back
In my office again.
I'll get the net.
I'll get the nuts.
I don't know what to do
With my locker.
Want to see my locker?
I guess.
These are pieces of food
That I chewed,
But never swallowed.
I spit them out, coated them,
With a polyurethane resin
And stuck them on here
With an industrial adhesive.
Betsy, betsy,
That animal's delicious flesh
Can keep us all alive
For another week.
I don't wanna be alive
Without poncy.
This pig is everything to me
That my daddy never was,
And I'll be ding danged.
Sikowitz?
What?
You hit me in the face
With a ball.
Oh, come on,
A truly great actor
Can stay in the scene
No matter what's happening
Around her.
But it really hurts.
Oh, lunch, yay.
Learn your lines.
I want everyone
Off book tomorrow.
Hey, you wanna
Come to lunch with us?
Sure, just lemme...aaah.
What was that for?
I'm not acting right now.
We need to chat.
And "Tori, can I see you?"
Wouldn't have worked?
Have fun.
Protect your face.
What's up?
I hear you signed up
To audition
For a play, "moonlight magic?"
Andre wrote the music for it
And he wants me
To play the lead.
You should.
But you can't?
Not until you pass
"The bird scene."
"The bird scene?"
Here at hollywood arts,
Every student must
Successfully complete
"The bird scene"
Before they can audition for any
And all school productions.
Hey sikowitz,
I forgot to ask you a question
About the homework.
Will we have...?
We'll never know
Her question.
Hey, you know
Where I could buy
A pair of ballet slippers?
No, I don't.
But I know where you can
Get yourself a pretty skirt
And some lip gloss.
Heh, heh, heh.
That was a good one, Beck.
Lip gloss.
Why do you need
Ballet slippers?
'Cause I signed up
For ballet.
Whoa, whoa,
Isn't that kinda girly?
Yep, just one big room
Full of girls, and me.
You guys picking up
What I'm putting down?
I am.
Pretty smooth.
I don't understand.
A lot of girls who dance,
All in one room, with him.
Would you mind
If maybe I signed up too?
Nah, go for it.
How about you, man?
Can't.
Me and Jade already signed up
For salsa dancing.
I can't eat salsa.
Why?
'Cause it hurts your stomach
And gives you nightmares?
No.
Yes.
Maybe.
Ready?
Drive-By acting exercise.
You're all angry englishmen.
Go.
I insist you tell me
Who sat on me crumpet.
My grandmummy went to the loo
While I snogged
The prime minister.
This flock of whipperwils
Is bothering my trousers.
Good heavens,
There's a dead cockroach
In my brassier.
Blimey.
Well, I told you
Not to put plum sauce
On me banger.
You, you, you...
All right, all right,
Very good, quiet down.
Now that we're all
Loosey and/or goosey,
The time has come
For our newest student
To tackle...
The bird scene.
Tori, the stage is yours,
Though you can't take it home.
Can I ask you a few question
Before I start?
So...
Just do your best.
Action.
Okay.
It was 1934
When my husband left me.
Alone, living on the prairie
Was a dreary existence.
No telephone, no radio.
Only a large, majestic bird
With whom I shared my feelings.
One day when I was feeling low,
I said to him,
"Oh bird, you can fly.
"You can soar miles
"From this lonely place,
"Yet you stay.
Why?"
And apparently,
My question rang true,
For that afternoon,
The bird left.
And so went my spirit.
How was that?
What do you mean?
Did I do the scene right?
No, not at all.
Okay, then what'd I do wrong?
You'll have to perform
The scene again tomorrow
And get it right,
Or else you cannot be
In Andre's play or any other.
But can you tell me
What I did wrong?
No, I can't.
I don't get any feedback?
That is correct.
But...
Drive-By acting exercise.
You're all terrified dolphins.
Go.
Live the fear.
Come on.
How am I supposed to do
The scene right
If no one will tell me
What I did wrong?
I thought you guys
Were my friends.
I'm not your friend.
I was hoping
We could be more than friends.
Uh, it's so gross
How he's always hitting
On every girl.
I never hit on you.
What's that supposed to mean?
You guys...my problem.
Number one rule
Of the bird scene:
Nobody's allowed to help you.
No one.
So this is what you did
With your locker?
Yeah.
See, it's a dry erase board
With a bunch of colorful pens
In a convenient cup.
So whoever wants to,
Can write or draw
Whatever they want.
But you're supposed
To decorate it yourself.
It's a hollywood
Arts tradition.
Well, what's wrong
With letting other people
Be expressive on my locker?
Well, for one thing
They can do that.
Yeah?
Yeah, well my locker's smarter
Than your locker.
How can a locker be...
I don't know.
Oh, come on.
Somebody tell me
How to do the bird scene
Or I'm gonna cry.
Can't.
And don't be so whiny.
Yeah, man up.
Time for our first
Ballet class.
Oh, ballet.
I didn't know
I'd feel so awkward
Wearing tights.
These things squeeze me
In a bad way.
Yeah, you won't
Be complaining
When we're surrounded
By lady ballerinas.
Aw man, it's a dude ranch.
So, you ready?
Oh, I'm way past ready.
Sikowitz wants "the bird scene?"
I'm gonna give him
The bird scene.
I got props, I got a backdrop,
And just to kiss up a little,
I even got sikowitz
Two large coconuts.
Those are good ones.
What's the deal
With sikowitz and coconuts?
He says the milk
Gives him visions.
All right, we're here...
We have much to do today,
But first, Tori, the bird scene.
I'm ready.
And before I begin,
I'd like you to have
These two large coconuts.
Wonderful.
You know, their milk
Gives me visions.
I've heard.
Very good.
Everyone, pay attention.
Tori?
One sec.
Oh, a backdrop!
And I am ready.
Delightful.
Action.
It was 1934
When my husband left me.
Alone, living on the prairie
Was a dreary existence.
No telephone, no radio,
Only a large, majestic bird
With whom I shared my feelings.
One day when I was feeling low,
I said to him,
"Oh bird, you can fly.
"You can soar miles
"From this lonely place,
"Yet you stay.
Why?"
And apparently,
My question rang true,
For that afternoon,
The bird left.
And so went my spirit.
So, was that good?
Exactly what are you
Asking me?
You know, did you like
What I did with the scene?
Sure.
So did I get it right?
Oh no, you failed, again.
What? Why?
I did everything...
Hey, watch!
Where you throw your props.
Cat!
Hey!
You have to try something.
Handcuffs?
Huh, put 'em on one wrist.
Okay.
Good, and now we lock
The other part around here.
Fun.
Okay, now try these.
Ah, candy!
Mmmm, these are so...
So hot, what are these?
Choo-Choo peppers.
They're burning my mouth.
I know.
You want some water?
Yes.
Tell me the secret
Of the bird scene.
I can't, and I need water.
Oh, fine.
Wait, Tori!
Water.
Whatcha doing?
Angrily throwing books
In my locker, can't you tell?
So did you figure out
How you're gonna
Decorate it yet?
Yes, look,
I put a stripe on it.
Did you see the stripe?
I see the stripe.
Well, I don't know
What to do.
Why don't you do something,
You know, creative and deep?
What'd you do for yours?
Come on.
Clear?
Transparent.
I've got no secrets
And neither does my locker.
Aw, that is creative
And deep.
Yeah.
So, anyway...
About the bird scene.
Later.
Hey, Trina, can you help me?
I'm...
Sorry, gotta get to lunch
Before they run out of paninis.
Man, this is humiliating.
Agreed.
I can't believe
You got us into this.
Let's get outta this.
Madame makee?
Oui?
We're gonna
Have to drop this class.
If you drop this class
Then it goes on your
Permanent record as a zehro.
Oh c'mon,
You can't give us a "zehro."
Why do you want
To drop zis class?
Look around, woman.
We're surrounded
By dudes in tights.
It's just gross.
Hey, sorry I'm late.
Girl.
Hey, Robbie!
Hi, Rex!
What's doin'?
Did you guys quit ballet?
We can't,
Unless we want a "zehro."
Well, I'm sorry
You're feeling stressed.
Ohhh, it's okay.
I'm sure we'll...
I'm sure we can...
Would you keep doing that,
Please?
Sure.
This is getting weird.
Hey, you know what's making me
Feel stressed?
Tell me, I'll kill it.
It's this whole
Bird scene thing.
Ah, there it is:
The ulterior motive.
Hush, puppet.
Mmhm-Mmh-Mmhm-Mmh.
You'll help me
With the bird scene, won't you?
I'm really not supposed to...
Ow, he bit my hand.
Rex.
Take me to the bathroom.
I gotta pee now.
He's a puppet.
He can't pee.
You don't know what I got.
All right, class.
All right.
Which dancers would like
To show me the routine
We were working on last time?
We would.
What?
We got this, man.
You're a maniac.
Andre, Robbie, to the front.
Don't talk to anyone
Till I get back.
Positions.
Begin.
Let's take
A five minute break.
Please make it 10.
20.
Happy birthday.
Who's birthday is it?
Somebody's, somewhere.
That's so true.
Where is Tori?
Here.
Oh... you brought curtains.
Let's do this.
Very good.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Once again:
"The bird scene" starring Tori.
Vega.
It was 1934
When my husband left me.
Alone, living on the prairie
Was a dreary existence.
No telephone, no radio,
Only a large, majestic bird
With whom I shared my feelings.
You see the bird too, right?
Yeah.
Fantastic.
One day,
When I was feeling low,
I said to him,
"Oh bird, you can fly.
You can soar miles
From this lonely place,
Yet you stay.
Why?"
And apparently
My question rang true,
For that afternoon my bird left,
And so went my spirit.
That was impressive.
So did I get it right?
Nope.
But I just...
I'd...I did too get it right.
Tori, listen.
I'm not trying
To be disrespectful.
But, you know, how hard
I worked on this scene?
I made this costume.
I downloaded
Special prairie music.
I even trained
That crazy cockatoo to fly
In and out of that window
On command.
Not now.
Look, I know
You're a great acting teacher
And everything,
But I don't care what you say.
The scene I just did was good,
And I'm proud of it
No matter what anybody thinks.
What?
You just passed
"The bird scene."
But you said...
Tori, the whole point
Of the bird scene
Is to teach a performer,
Like yourself,
To believe in your own choices
No matter what others think.
We are artists,
And a true artist
Does not define success
Based on hu, hee, hee approval
From others.
A true artist need
Only please himself
Or herself or itself.
You don't know what I got.
So, all three times
I did the scene...
...were delightful.
It was only wrong
When you asked if it was right.
Drive-By acting exercise.
You're all elderly people
Walking barefoot
On broken glass.
Go.
You guys ready?
Whatever.
Make what shine?
It's the title of the song
I sang in the big showcase.
Okay.
Whatever.
'Cause you know,
That's what got me here
In the first place.
I don't like it.
Maybe the words
Should be bigger.
Yes.
I believe in my own choice,
And I don't need approval
From others.
Ah, the young female
Has learned the ways
Of "the bird scene."
I still think it's dull.
Yeah?
Well, then maybe
I should make it shine.
Nice!
Light-Y.
Okay, are we going to eat
Or what?
Oh, yay, food.
Come with?
Sure.
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