1
00:00:04,143 --> 00:00:05,711
Um...

2
00:00:05,778 --> 00:00:08,914
Fac comedie de...

3
00:00:08,982 --> 00:00:11,249
ei bine,am inceput
de la 18 ani

4
00:00:11,317 --> 00:00:12,918
si acum am 31...

5
00:00:12,986 --> 00:00:16,788
deci,cred ca sunt cam...
--Nu

6
00:00:16,856 --> 00:00:19,858
Am 46.Am implinit
46 si eu nu am...

7
00:00:19,926 --> 00:00:22,127
Am crezut ca anul trecut am implinit 44.

8
00:00:22,195 --> 00:00:24,062
Cam asa de prost sunt.

9
00:00:24,130 --> 00:00:27,532
Peste tot unde ma duceam ziceam:
"Da,am 44 de ani."

10
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:28,967
Si cand a fost ziua mea
cineva a zis:

11
00:00:29,035 --> 00:00:29,868
"Cati ani ai implinit?"

12
00:00:29,936 --> 00:00:31,503
Eu am zis 45.

13
00:00:31,571 --> 00:00:34,339
Si apoi prietenul mi-a zis
"Nu,nu ai atat".

14
00:00:34,407 --> 00:00:36,408
Ai avut 45 tot anul.
Acum ai 46.

15
00:00:36,476 --> 00:00:39,878
Si eu am fost de ceva de genul ca am 
imbatranit cu 2 ani mai mult intr-un minut

16
00:00:39,946 --> 00:00:41,813
Ceva de genul:""Oh...

17
00:00:41,881 --> 00:00:42,681
Ahh!"

18
00:00:50,990 --> 00:00:58,797
Louie
Sezonul 4 Episodul 1-Back

19
00:01:05,538 --> 00:01:06,304
Hey...

20
00:01:06,372 --> 00:01:09,341
Asculta

21
00:01:27,927 --> 00:01:28,827
Hey!

22
00:01:29,962 --> 00:01:31,363
Hey,hey,asculta!
Chiar acum!

23
00:01:32,932 --> 00:01:33,899
Capul sus!

24
00:01:33,966 --> 00:01:35,327
Hey,las-o in pace!
Hey!

25
00:02:01,594 --> 00:02:03,061
Avem un urangutan
Haide!

26
00:02:06,132 --> 00:02:07,599
Oh!

27
00:02:25,184 --> 00:02:26,885
Hey,care-i treaba comediantule?

28
00:02:26,953 --> 00:02:28,520
Hey,Tony--
Cum iti mai merge?

29
00:02:28,588 --> 00:02:30,956
Hey,am o gluma pentru tine.

30
00:02:31,023 --> 00:02:32,157
Nu este inca una rasista--

31
00:02:32,225 --> 00:02:34,292
Nu,nu,nu--
Este cu Pinocchio.

32
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:35,527
Adica il stii pe Pinocchio,
nu?

33
00:02:35,595 --> 00:02:36,795
Mm-hmmm.

34
00:02:36,863 --> 00:02:38,997
Deci Pinocchio se duce
la tipa asta.

35
00:02:39,065 --> 00:02:40,499
Ok,il stiu--
Nu,nu,nu.

36
00:02:40,566 --> 00:02:43,635
Deci Pinocchio se duce jos
la prietena lui sau ceva de genul,

37
00:02:43,703 --> 00:02:45,470
si-i mananca pasarica,stii?
Stiu ca asta e o gluma,Tony.

38
00:02:45,538 --> 00:02:47,606
Adica,Pinocchio este jos,
acolo si mananca pasarica.

39
00:02:47,673 --> 00:02:50,242
Adica,el este acolo jos
manacand-ui si lingandu-i toata pasarica

40
00:02:50,309 --> 00:02:51,743
si ea zice:

41
00:02:51,811 --> 00:02:55,480
"Oh,da,da,mananc-o pe toata,
Pinocchio!

42
00:02:55,548 --> 00:02:56,815
Haide,ia-o!"

43
00:03:06,692 --> 00:03:07,932
Cred ca ai gresit gluma.

44
00:03:07,994 --> 00:03:10,462
Nu,nu am gresit-o.

45
00:03:10,530 --> 00:03:13,899
Mda,ea trebuia sa spuna,
"Minte-ma,minte-ma."

46
00:03:13,966 --> 00:03:15,967
Vezi tu,pentru ca--

47
00:03:16,035 --> 00:03:18,303
nasul lui creste
si ii intra in vagin.

48
00:03:18,371 --> 00:03:19,437
Asta-i--
Nu,nu,nu,nu.

49
00:03:19,505 --> 00:03:20,972
Ai stricat tot--
Asta nu-i o gluma.

50
00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,174
Ba este,pentru ca...

51
00:03:22,241 --> 00:03:24,843
cand Pinocchio minte,nasul
lui creste.

52
00:03:24,911 --> 00:03:26,244
Se ridica si...

53
00:03:26,312 --> 00:03:28,213
Nu,nu,nu--
Este Pinocchio.

54
00:03:28,281 --> 00:03:30,515
Adica,gluma este
Pinocchio,ti-ai dat seama?

55
00:03:30,583 --> 00:03:32,384
Pinocchio,el este o jucarie.

56
00:03:32,451 --> 00:03:33,812
El se intinde jos
mancandu-i pasarica.

57
00:03:33,853 --> 00:03:35,887
Adica,e amuzant.

58
00:03:35,955 --> 00:03:37,455
De ce te-ai bagat?

59
00:03:37,523 --> 00:03:40,058
Nu este in comediant?

60
00:03:48,768 --> 00:03:50,001
Sugator urat.

61
00:03:56,809 --> 00:03:58,977
Deci...
vrei sa mergi la un film mai tarziu?

62
00:03:59,045 --> 00:04:00,011
Cu tine?

63
00:04:05,284 --> 00:04:06,645
Vrei sa mergi la un film mai tarziu?

64
00:04:06,652 --> 00:04:09,087
Nu pot--trebuie sa iau copiii de la scoala.

65
00:04:09,155 --> 00:04:11,656
Nu pari foarte fericit in legatura cu 
asta.

66
00:04:11,724 --> 00:04:13,825
Nu chiar.

67
00:04:13,893 --> 00:04:15,927
Esti doar tu,e Marti.

68
00:04:15,995 --> 00:04:17,329
Si martile sunt grele,
din cauza

69
00:04:17,396 --> 00:04:19,898
tranzitiei dintre zile,

70
00:04:19,966 --> 00:04:22,234
vezi cum trec orele,stii tu,lucru
de noapte

71
00:04:22,301 --> 00:04:24,236
si dimineata cu copiii.

72
00:04:24,303 --> 00:04:25,403
Da.

73
00:04:25,471 --> 00:04:27,038
Sa te trezesti dimineata--E chiar greu--
E stresant.

74
00:04:27,106 --> 00:04:28,206
Da.

75
00:04:28,274 --> 00:04:30,108
Pot sa-it sugerez ceva?

76
00:04:30,176 --> 00:04:31,076
Sigur.

77
00:04:31,143 --> 00:04:32,777
Renunta la copii.

78
00:04:32,845 --> 00:04:35,080
Apoi poti dormi mai tarziu.

79
00:04:35,147 --> 00:04:36,681
Nu,nu pot sa fac asta.

80
00:04:36,749 --> 00:04:37,782
De ce nu?

81
00:04:37,850 --> 00:04:39,618
Tu nu esti mama lor--
Tu esti tatal lor.

82
00:04:39,685 --> 00:04:41,653
Nimanui nu-i pasa de tati.

83
00:04:41,721 --> 00:04:43,655
Tatii nu conteaza omule.

84
00:04:43,723 --> 00:04:45,490
Tatal tau este prin jur?

85
00:04:45,558 --> 00:04:48,093
Tatal meu--Este grozav.

86
00:04:48,160 --> 00:04:50,362
Mi-a aratat o dragoste neconditionata

87
00:04:50,429 --> 00:04:52,597
de cand m-am nascut.

88
00:04:52,665 --> 00:04:54,666
Nu as fi ajuns nicaieri fara tata.

89
00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:57,736
Deci,de ce ar fi bine
sa-mi parasesc copiii?

90
00:04:57,803 --> 00:04:59,371
Deoarece copiii tai sunt naspa.

91
00:05:01,807 --> 00:05:05,744
Si ca nu te pricepi la comedie.

92
00:05:05,811 --> 00:05:09,080
Iti urasc copiii--Daca i-as intalni
i-as ura.

93
00:05:09,148 --> 00:05:10,615
As desena niste picturi cu ei
cand i-as vedea

94
00:05:10,683 --> 00:05:13,785
si apoi le-as rupe pozele
chiar in fata lor.

95
00:05:19,258 --> 00:05:20,425
Tati.

96
00:05:20,493 --> 00:05:21,927
Ce?

97
00:05:21,994 --> 00:05:23,428
Ghiozdanul meu e prea greu.

98
00:05:23,496 --> 00:05:25,163
Poti sa mi-l cari tu?

99
00:05:25,231 --> 00:05:26,965
Nu,nu pot sa o fac.

100
00:05:27,033 --> 00:05:28,233
Ce sa faci?

101
00:05:28,301 --> 00:05:29,801
Sa-ti iau ghiozdanul.

102
00:05:29,869 --> 00:05:31,670
Tati,ajuta-ma.

103
00:05:31,737 --> 00:05:33,471
Nu,pentru ca te-as priva de

104
00:05:33,539 --> 00:05:35,106
cresterea si dezvoltarea ta in viata.

105
00:05:35,174 --> 00:05:37,409
Tati,ma doare spatele.

106
00:05:37,476 --> 00:05:38,777
Daca nu te ajut acum,

107
00:05:38,844 --> 00:05:39,945
mai tarziu vei deveni mai puternica.

108
00:05:40,012 --> 00:05:41,046
Nu.

109
00:05:41,113 --> 00:05:42,847
Facand mai mult decat crezi ca poti--

110
00:05:42,915 --> 00:05:44,249
Nu este adevarat.

111
00:05:44,317 --> 00:05:45,984
Te pui intr-un moment de dubiu si durere--

112
00:05:46,052 --> 00:05:47,552
Opreste-te!Opreste-te!

113
00:05:47,620 --> 00:05:49,621
Da-mi-l mie.

114
00:05:49,689 --> 00:05:51,489
Poftim--
Multumesc,Lily!

115
00:05:51,557 --> 00:05:52,791
Taci,Jane.

116
00:05:59,498 --> 00:06:01,166
Ce pregatesti la cina?

117
00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:02,968
Brocoli si spaghete.

118
00:06:03,035 --> 00:06:04,402
Ew--Yuck.

119
00:06:04,470 --> 00:06:08,907
Pleaca de langa mine--Pleaca--
pleaca departe de mine.

120
00:06:08,975 --> 00:06:09,975
"Yuck."

121
00:06:18,784 --> 00:06:19,751
Teme?

122
00:06:19,819 --> 00:06:21,152
Mm-hmm.

123
00:06:23,689 --> 00:06:25,357
"Draga AIDS"?

124
00:06:25,424 --> 00:06:27,158
Trebuie sa scriu o scrisoara
catre AIDS.

125
00:06:27,226 --> 00:06:30,528
Ca tema.

126
00:06:30,596 --> 00:06:32,063
Okay.

127
00:06:32,131 --> 00:06:34,065
Nu stiu
ce sa scriu catre AIDS.

128
00:06:34,133 --> 00:06:35,934
Um...

129
00:06:36,002 --> 00:06:40,839
"Draga AIDS,
Te rog tai-o."

130
00:06:40,906 --> 00:06:45,844
Uh..."Cum este vreamea in
tara AIDS?"

131
00:06:45,911 --> 00:06:49,681
Nu este amuzant,tati--
Este serios.

132
00:06:49,749 --> 00:06:51,182
OK.

133
00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:53,418
Este foarte serios.

134
00:06:53,486 --> 00:06:55,553
Foarte serios.

135
00:06:55,621 --> 00:06:56,988
"Draga AIDS."

136
00:06:59,091 --> 00:07:00,859
Tati,fa The Beatles.

137
00:07:04,130 --> 00:07:05,930
Tati,pot sa am dormitorul meu propriu?

138
00:07:05,998 --> 00:07:08,400
Nu prea,nu mai sunt camere
libere in apartament.

139
00:07:08,467 --> 00:07:10,802
Putem sa ne mutam?

140
00:07:10,870 --> 00:07:13,471
Nu.

141
00:07:13,539 --> 00:07:14,906
Nopate buna.
Noapte buna.

142
00:07:18,711 --> 00:07:22,514
Fa The Beatles!

143
00:07:22,581 --> 00:07:24,516
Tati,iesi in oras
diseara?

144
00:07:24,583 --> 00:07:26,284
Bine,dar nu pana ce nu ai dormit.

145
00:07:26,352 --> 00:07:27,685
Dar,cine va ramane sa stea cu noi?

146
00:07:27,753 --> 00:07:29,554
Nu conteaza,
tu vei dormi oricum.

147
00:07:29,622 --> 00:07:31,423
Da,dar cine?

148
00:07:31,490 --> 00:07:32,657
Domnisoara Frame.

149
00:07:32,725 --> 00:07:35,093
Ew!
Okay,nu mai fa asa.

150
00:07:35,161 --> 00:07:37,595
Tati.
Nu...

151
00:07:37,663 --> 00:07:39,564
Noapte buna.

152
00:07:39,632 --> 00:07:40,932
Tati,te rog.
Ce?

153
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,801
Fa The Beatles.
Nu,noapte buna.

154
00:07:42,868 --> 00:07:44,235
Tati,fa The Beatles--
Te rog!

155
00:07:44,303 --> 00:07:45,970
Tati,te rog.
Haide!

156
00:07:46,038 --> 00:07:47,005
Te rog!

157
00:07:49,942 --> 00:07:51,576
Buna,eu sunt John.

158
00:07:51,644 --> 00:07:53,044
Si eu sunt Paul.

159
00:07:53,112 --> 00:07:54,412
Si eu sunt George.

160
00:07:54,480 --> 00:07:56,147
Si eu sunt Ringo.

161
00:07:57,583 --> 00:07:58,716
In regula,noapte buna.

162
00:07:58,784 --> 00:07:59,884
Noapte buna.

163
00:07:59,952 --> 00:08:00,885
Noapte buna,tati.

164
00:08:05,691 --> 00:08:07,425
Ma intorc
in cateva ore.

165
00:08:07,493 --> 00:08:09,894
OK.

166
00:08:09,962 --> 00:08:11,262
Uh,multumesc ca m-ai ajutat din nou.

167
00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:12,797
Apreciez asta.
Ok,asta e in regula.

168
00:08:16,135 --> 00:08:17,368
Dar viata e scurta.

169
00:08:17,436 --> 00:08:19,938
Multe persoane spun asta.

170
00:08:20,005 --> 00:08:21,940
Viata e scurta.

171
00:08:22,007 --> 00:08:23,208
Si asta e.

172
00:08:23,275 --> 00:08:26,845
Viata e scurta daca,uh,
esti un copil care a murit.

173
00:08:26,912 --> 00:08:29,881
Dar e...

174
00:08:29,949 --> 00:08:31,683
nu e.

175
00:08:31,750 --> 00:08:33,318
La 46 de ani nu mai e scurta deloc.

176
00:08:33,385 --> 00:08:35,019
E lunga,omule--Viata e--

177
00:08:35,087 --> 00:08:37,055
Se simte de parca,
mi-a luat mult timp

178
00:08:37,123 --> 00:08:39,524
sa trec prin rahatul asta.

179
00:08:39,592 --> 00:08:40,725
Asta e mult.

180
00:08:40,793 --> 00:08:42,026
Sunt zile care sunt lungi.

181
00:08:42,094 --> 00:08:43,128
Ai avut vreodata o zi
cand esti ceva de genul,

182
00:08:43,195 --> 00:08:45,330
"Asta e Ok--

183
00:08:45,397 --> 00:08:49,934
"Putem doar sa--Iar si iar,
asta e la fel.

184
00:08:50,002 --> 00:08:52,504
"Pot sa ma duc la culcare?

185
00:08:52,571 --> 00:08:55,306
"E 4 PM--
Ma duc la culcare.

186
00:08:55,374 --> 00:08:57,709
E PM."

187
00:08:57,776 --> 00:09:00,845
Daca ar fi fost acceptabil social
sa ma duc la culcare la 4 PM

188
00:09:00,913 --> 00:09:03,353
si sa ma trezesc la 2 PM
as face cu siguranta asta.

189
00:09:05,885 --> 00:09:08,419
Daca ar fi fost social acceptabil
sa ai un scaun electric

190
00:09:08,487 --> 00:09:11,489
cand nu este nimic in neregula cu tine

191
00:09:17,967 --> 00:09:19,520
Ok,voi da tonul.

192
00:09:19,694 --> 00:09:20,994
Oh,rahat.

193
00:09:21,062 --> 00:09:22,329
Ce s-a intamplat?

194
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:24,597
Am uitat sa ma masturbez azi.

195
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,765
Ai uitat?

196
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,033
Da,cred ca nu am bagat de seama.

197
00:09:27,101 --> 00:09:28,401
Ai nevoie de un asistent personal.

198
00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:30,637
Ar trebui sa-ti faci un semn pe mana.

199
00:09:30,705 --> 00:09:32,706
De cate ori pe zi te masturbezi?

200
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:33,907
Poate doar odata.

201
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,242
Sunt batran acum--
Inainte o facem de 7 ori.

202
00:09:36,310 --> 00:09:37,977
De 7 ori fix?

203
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,346
Da,chiar asa.

204
00:09:39,413 --> 00:09:41,348
Pe na--
Te masturbezi pe nas?

205
00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:44,651
Sala,calcat,spalat.

206
00:09:44,719 --> 00:09:46,319
Ce?
Nu inteleg.

207
00:09:46,387 --> 00:09:47,320
GTL.

208
00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:49,022
Care se masturbeaza cel mai mult de aici?

209
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:50,156
Ma ofer eu voluntar.

210
00:09:50,224 --> 00:09:52,826
Pot sa o fac intre 6 si 8 ori pe zi.

211
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,828
depinde de ce mai am de facut atunci.

212
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,196
Pare cam mult.

213
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:57,497
Asta li se pare si vecinilor.

214
00:09:57,565 --> 00:09:58,732
Dar tu?

215
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:00,800
De cate ori o faci?

216
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,138
Poate de patru-cinci ori
daca sunt bolnav acasa.

217
00:10:05,206 --> 00:10:06,473
Chiar asa e.

218
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,675
Daca nu ma simt bine.

219
00:10:08,743 --> 00:10:09,976
Si intotdeauna o apas.

220
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:13,213
Daca sunt acasa,
imi place sa o apas.

221
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,381
Daca sunt acasa.

222
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:15,482
La ce te referi cand spui ca o apesi?

223
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,317
Habar nu am,doar o apas.

224
00:10:17,385 --> 00:10:19,319
Ce folosesti,o Panini?

225
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,021
Ce fel de jucarii sexuale folosesti?

226
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,624
De ce toata lumea crede ca fetele au 
nevoie de jucarii ca sa se masturbeze?

227
00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:26,326
Pentru ca eu am nevoie 
ca sa ma masturbez.

228
00:10:26,394 --> 00:10:27,694
De exemplu o masina de pompieri?

229
00:10:27,762 --> 00:10:29,396
Sau o piesa de sah?

230
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:30,563
Frisbee?

231
00:10:33,234 --> 00:10:35,568
O masina Big Wheel?

232
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,304
Pot sa explic?

233
00:10:38,372 --> 00:10:41,007
Eu vorbesc serios.

234
00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,742
El este foarte suparat.

235
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,744
"Haide baieti,dati-mi o sansa."

236
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,045
Mda,adica,tu imi ceri ceva.

237
00:10:46,113 --> 00:10:47,793
Incerc sa iti spun totul deodata.

238
00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:48,915
Folosesti jucarii?

239
00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:50,717
Da,am un vibratori si un dildo.

240
00:10:50,785 --> 00:10:53,386
Un dildo?
Da,un dildo.

241
00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:54,921
Cum le folosesti?

242
00:10:54,989 --> 00:10:56,322
Nu e mare smecherie.

243
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:57,424
Ba da,chiar este.

244
00:10:57,491 --> 00:10:58,758
Nu,nu este.
Nu,chiar este.

245
00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:00,059
Nu,nu este.

246
00:11:00,127 --> 00:11:02,495
Nu,tin vibratorul in mana

247
00:11:02,563 --> 00:11:06,099
si apoi il rotesc in jurul mingiutelor.

248
00:11:06,167 --> 00:11:08,368
Iubesc modul in care el vorbeste despre
scula sa la a treia persoana.

249
00:11:08,436 --> 00:11:09,936
A treia persoana!

250
00:11:10,004 --> 00:11:11,671
Incep prin a-l roti incet

251
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,339
si apoi maresc viteza.

252
00:11:13,407 --> 00:11:15,108
Si apoi boom.

253
00:11:16,277 --> 00:11:18,511
Boom,ca Batman?

254
00:11:18,579 --> 00:11:20,146
Foarte dragut.
Mda.

255
00:11:20,214 --> 00:11:22,615
Mda,cateva semne mi-au ramas pe scula.

256
00:11:22,683 --> 00:11:24,083
Chiar in gura lui Robin.

257
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:30,356
Trebuie sa ne spui unde iti tii
dildoul?

258
00:11:30,424 --> 00:11:31,991
Oh,este intr-un sertar.

259
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:38,064
Atat?

260
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,603
Doar atat stiu,ca il tin intr-un sertar.

261
00:11:43,671 --> 00:11:45,104
Ma face sa ma simt nasol.

262
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,406
Si asta ma ajuta sa am chef.

263
00:11:48,676 --> 00:11:49,976
Doamne.

264
00:11:50,044 --> 00:11:53,813
Doamne,Jim.
Te iubesc asa de mult.

265
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,415
OK,OK.
Avem nevoie de o regula.

266
00:11:55,483 --> 00:11:57,083
Este cumva asta gay?

267
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,785
Ei bine,ca Judecator al Curtii Supreme

268
00:11:58,853 --> 00:12:01,087
a Tot Ce Este Gay,

269
00:12:01,155 --> 00:12:02,489
asta este cam gay.

270
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:03,490
Nu este gay.

271
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:04,691
Este destul de gay.
Ba nu este.

272
00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,092
Mda.
Asta era ideea.

273
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,460
Este destul de gay.

274
00:12:07,528 --> 00:12:09,208
Daca as fi fost gay,mi-as fi introdus
acel dildo

275
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:11,331
fix in anus.

276
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,432
Buna fata.

277
00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,000
Asta pentru ca imi plac fetele

278
00:12:14,068 --> 00:12:17,904
si stiu ca am acel dildo
negru in sertarul biroului.

279
00:12:17,972 --> 00:12:19,739
Oh,este negru.

280
00:12:19,807 --> 00:12:21,274
Ai un birou?

281
00:12:21,342 --> 00:12:22,942
Vezi?

282
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:24,143
E lung.

283
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,311
Cred ca vorbeste despre dildo.

284
00:12:25,379 --> 00:12:28,348
"Din biroul lui
Jim Norton."

285
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,949
Nu am cunoscut niciodata un barbat
care sa aiba un vibrator.

286
00:12:30,017 --> 00:12:31,317
Cum te...

287
00:12:31,385 --> 00:12:33,019
Cum te excita un vibrator?

288
00:12:33,087 --> 00:12:36,155
Oh,ma excita asa de bine.

289
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:39,359
Imi duce orgasmul de la 3 la 10 secunde.

290
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,427
Nici macar nu-mi mai imaginez

291
00:12:43,664 --> 00:12:46,466
Asta mi-a facut viata mai buna.

292
00:12:46,534 --> 00:12:47,600
Chiar?
Este asa de bun?

293
00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:48,668
Oh.

294
00:12:48,736 --> 00:12:51,137
Intreaba un viitor cumparator de
vibrator.

295
00:12:51,205 --> 00:12:52,372
Vrei sa-l imprumuti pe al meu,Lou?

296
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:53,840
Nu,nu vreau.

297
00:12:53,908 --> 00:12:57,343
"Nu,am nevoie de vibratorul ala
imediat"

298
00:12:57,411 --> 00:12:59,445
Nu il precomand.
Sunt doar curios.

299
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:03,650
Tipule,ai vazut ieri,

300
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,385
tipul care a furat pantalonii?

301
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:06,920
Nu.
Ce s-a intamplat?

302
00:13:06,987 --> 00:13:08,154
Eu l-am oprit.

303
00:13:08,222 --> 00:13:10,323
L-am speriat,i-a scapat
si apoi a fugit.

304
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,126
Se intampla intotdeauna.

305
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:14,460
Hilar.

306
00:13:17,932 --> 00:13:20,466
Hey,te pot ajuta?

307
00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:23,303
Um...

308
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:27,540
Doar,uh...
niste vibratoare.

309
00:13:27,608 --> 00:13:29,108
Ok.
Niste vibratoare.

310
00:13:29,176 --> 00:13:30,910
Daca ai vreo unul.
Nu e nicio problema.

311
00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,579
Avem cateva chiar aici.

312
00:13:32,646 --> 00:13:36,182
E pentru prietena ta?

313
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,318
Asta e pentru tine?

314
00:13:38,385 --> 00:13:40,086
Nu e nicio problema.

315
00:13:40,154 --> 00:13:42,155
Le recomand personal.

316
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,523
Uite astea sunt argintii.

317
00:13:43,591 --> 00:13:44,857
Nu stiu ce sa zic despre 
chestia cu argintiu.

318
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:46,292
Ok.

319
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,261
Mai avem si alte culori aici.

320
00:13:48,329 --> 00:13:50,763
Cred ca ar trebui sa ne oprim
sa comandam inele pentru scula.

321
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:52,098
Ei bine,eu nu comand
inele pentru scula.

322
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,533
Ele se fabrica.

323
00:13:53,601 --> 00:13:55,101
Eu nu am nimic de a face cu ele.

324
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,936
Avem o gramada.

325
00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:59,806
Mai bine as vorbi cu Niecey.

326
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,174
Mai doresti sa cumperi ceva?

327
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,677
Ei bine,nu stiu ce sa zic despre 
cele de culoarea penisului.

328
00:14:04,745 --> 00:14:05,712
Ok.

329
00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:06,913
Um,ei bine

330
00:14:06,981 --> 00:14:08,715
Ce zici de....
Ahh!

331
00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:09,849
Scuze.
Esti in regula?

332
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:12,118
Ahh.

333
00:14:12,186 --> 00:14:13,346
Nu stiu ce am facut.

334
00:14:13,387 --> 00:14:14,954
Ah.

335
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:15,888
Vrei sa chem pe cineva?

336
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:16,756
Ah.

337
00:14:16,824 --> 00:14:18,458
Nu,nu,nu.

338
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,959
Vrei sa stai jos?
Pot sa chem ambulanta.

339
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,094
Nu,nu,nu,iti multumesc
 foarte,foarte mult.

340
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,629
Ah.

341
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:23,596
Ok.
Oh.

342
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:43,049
Yo,uita-te la grasul ala.

343
00:14:43,117 --> 00:14:44,550
Rahat.

344
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:51,257
Taxi.

345
00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:52,992
Taxi,taxi!

346
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,594
Taxi,taxi!

347
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,931
Esti bine?
Ai cazut?

348
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,667
Nu,nu,ma doare spatele doar.

349
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:03,036
Vrei sa chem salvarea?

350
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:04,671
Nu,multumesc foarte...
Nu,multumesc.

351
00:15:04,738 --> 00:15:07,373
Incerc doar sa chem un taxi
si nu pot ajunge destul de sus.

352
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:09,976
Taxi,taxi!
Oh.

353
00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:19,552
Nu pot sa...
Oh.

354
00:15:23,190 --> 00:15:23,990
Oww!

355
00:15:25,059 --> 00:15:27,660
Oh...oh.

356
00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:32,131
Multumesc mult.
Oh.

357
00:16:26,668 --> 00:16:27,535
Buna.

358
00:16:27,602 --> 00:16:29,637
Da?

359
00:16:29,705 --> 00:16:32,406
Uh,eu,uh,eu locuiesc aici

360
00:16:32,474 --> 00:16:34,108
si eu am un doctor.

361
00:16:34,176 --> 00:16:35,943
Am un doctor,dar a murit.

362
00:16:36,011 --> 00:16:39,080
Deci,ma intrebam

363
00:16:39,147 --> 00:16:42,483
daca il pot intalni pe Dr. Bigelow 
pentru ca as vrea

364
00:16:42,551 --> 00:16:44,852
sa ii devin pacient din acest moment

365
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,487
pentru ca am o chestie la spate.

366
00:16:46,555 --> 00:16:50,124
Ei bine,docotorul ia micul-dejun.

367
00:16:50,192 --> 00:16:52,159
Dar lasa-ma sa vad.

368
00:16:52,227 --> 00:16:54,261
Este in regula
Il voi lasa pe el sa vada.

369
00:16:54,329 --> 00:16:55,730
Multumesc.
Multumesc.

370
00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:03,370
Te poate vedea acum.
Intra.

371
00:17:03,438 --> 00:17:04,739
Multumesc.

372
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:05,773
Multumesc foarte mult.

373
00:17:42,778 --> 00:17:45,880
Cu ce pot sa te ajut?

374
00:17:45,947 --> 00:17:48,115
Uh,ei bine,spatele m-a durut
foarte tare astazi.

375
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:56,757
Uh.

376
00:17:56,825 --> 00:17:58,459
Poti sa ma ajuti cu spatele?

377
00:17:58,527 --> 00:18:00,561
Adica...

378
00:18:00,629 --> 00:18:01,750
Ce este in neregula cu spatele tau?

379
00:18:01,797 --> 00:18:04,398
Ma doare.

380
00:18:04,466 --> 00:18:08,002
Diagnosticul meu medical 
spune ca te doare spatele.

381
00:18:08,069 --> 00:18:09,870
Deci,ce pot sa fac in legatura cu asta?

382
00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,375
Nimic.

383
00:18:14,442 --> 00:18:15,643
Nimic?

384
00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:19,346
Problema este ca tu il folosesti
gresit.

385
00:18:19,414 --> 00:18:24,418
Spatele inca nu a evoluat complet.

386
00:18:24,486 --> 00:18:28,489
Vezi tu,spina sinarii
este un sir de vertebre.

387
00:18:28,557 --> 00:18:31,358
A fost facuta sa fie
orizontala.

388
00:18:31,426 --> 00:18:35,930
Apoi oamenii au venit si au 
folosit-o verticala.

389
00:18:35,997 --> 00:18:37,231
Ea nu a fost conceputa pentru asta.

390
00:18:37,299 --> 00:18:41,202
Deci discurile devin toate floppy.

391
00:18:41,269 --> 00:18:43,604
Misca-te la stanga,misca-te la dreapta.

392
00:18:43,672 --> 00:18:47,007
Iti va mai lua unul.

393
00:18:47,075 --> 00:18:49,610
As spune ca in 20.000 de ani isi va 
reveni.

394
00:18:49,678 --> 00:18:51,445
Pana atunci te va tot durea.

395
00:18:51,513 --> 00:18:52,847
Deci asta e?

396
00:18:52,914 --> 00:18:54,281
Este o problema de design.

397
00:18:54,349 --> 00:18:56,684
Nu este la locul ei.

398
00:18:56,751 --> 00:18:59,954
Noi primim o masa de calcat

399
00:19:00,021 --> 00:19:04,191
si noi o folosim pe post de steag.

400
00:19:04,259 --> 00:19:06,794
Deci ce ar trebui sa fac?

401
00:19:06,862 --> 00:19:08,863
Foloseste-ti spatele asa cum a fost creat.

402
00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:13,500
Mergi in maini si picioare.

403
00:19:13,568 --> 00:19:15,135
Sau accepta faptul ca spatele tau

404
00:19:15,203 --> 00:19:16,837
te va mai durea cateodata.

405
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:21,909
Trebuie sa fii recunoscator in
momentele in care nu o sa te doara.

406
00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:25,246
Fiecare secunda fara durere de spate

407
00:19:25,313 --> 00:19:27,948
este o secunda norocoasa.

408
00:19:28,016 --> 00:19:29,717
Daca aduni toate secundele alea,

409
00:19:29,784 --> 00:19:31,819
vei avea un minut norocos.

410
00:19:36,892 --> 00:19:38,325
Ok.

411
00:19:38,393 --> 00:19:40,928
Vino la mine cand ai ceva amuzant

412
00:19:40,996 --> 00:19:43,264
ca o boala de sange.

413
00:19:43,331 --> 00:19:44,932
De asta am facut scoala de medici.

414
00:19:50,138 --> 00:19:51,605
Ok,cred ca am inteles.

415
00:19:51,673 --> 00:19:53,674
Ok.
Multumesc mult.

416
00:19:53,742 --> 00:19:55,609
Spate rau,nu?

417
00:19:55,677 --> 00:19:57,811
Da...
Cred ca nu e nicio cura.

418
00:19:57,879 --> 00:20:01,515
Vrei sa stii ce fac eu?

419
00:20:01,583 --> 00:20:03,951
Spatele meu ma doare tot timpul
din cauza scaunelui asta.

420
00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:06,153
Asta chiar functioneaza.

421
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:10,858
Doar il freci pe spate,

422
00:20:10,926 --> 00:20:13,527
si mai jos,

423
00:20:13,595 --> 00:20:16,964
oriunde poti ajunge.

424
00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:19,633
Mmm.

425
00:20:19,701 --> 00:20:21,035
Oh.

426
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:27,408
Mda,viata este
lunga si apoi se termina.

427
00:20:27,475 --> 00:20:30,678
Si,uh,o multime de oameni se intreaba 
ce se intampla dupa asta.

428
00:20:30,745 --> 00:20:32,112
Ce se intampla dupa ce mori?

429
00:20:32,180 --> 00:20:34,315
Este o mare intrebare pentru oameni.

430
00:20:34,382 --> 00:20:35,716
Ce se intampla dupa ce mori?

431
00:20:35,784 --> 00:20:38,185
Defapt,multe lucruri se intampla
dupa ce mori,

432
00:20:38,253 --> 00:20:41,355
doar ca niciunul nu te include.

433
00:20:41,423 --> 00:20:46,260
Deoarece...tu nu mai existi.

434
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,328
Dar sunt tot felul de alte lucruri.

435
00:20:47,395 --> 00:20:50,431
Este un Super Bowl in fiecare an

436
00:20:50,498 --> 00:20:54,094
si este un caine care printe un frisbee.

437
00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:57,500
Am intalnit pe cineva care avea
31 de ani si era ceva de genul,

438
00:20:57,568 --> 00:21:00,971
"Imbatranesc,deja am ajuns la cifra 3."

439
00:21:01,038 --> 00:21:03,373
31 nu este mult.

440
00:21:03,441 --> 00:21:05,208
Poate va veti gandi cand veit implini
31,dar nu este asa.

441
00:21:05,276 --> 00:21:08,411
Nu stii pana ce nu implinesti 46,
ceea ce eu am,si iti dai seama

442
00:21:08,479 --> 00:21:11,314
cat de tanar esti la 31 de ani.

443
00:21:11,382 --> 00:21:14,718
La 31 esti destul de tanar incat
poti sa omori pe cineva

444
00:21:14,785 --> 00:21:17,286
si sa fii prins si tot 
sa ai o viata buna.

445
00:21:18,199 --> 00:21:29,039
Subtitrare realizata de ionutyonder
(Prima mea subtitrare).